Chapter Title: Brighter Day
Series Title: Unlikely Brothers
Ages in this chapter: Tanner (14) Dashen (20)
Chapter Summary: On Tatooine, Tanner comes to Ben's aid. (Chapter also features Qui-Gon Jinn.)
Obi-Wan, what are you doing? That boy, he's worried for you. Stay out longer and he'll come searching. The approaching sand storms will endanger him, as will the nearby raiders.
Master. These last months... they... they have been impossible. I should have delayed the boy's visit.
You are weary. Exhausted. The monotony of the desert. The heat. The sand. Mostly, though it's that loneliness and the trauma of your past that terrorizes you. I've seen you struggle in the night. Dreams haunt you daily.
Nightmares. Master, they are nightmares. Of the worst kind. Your death. My fear of training Anakin after. My failures, what they led to. The slaughter of thousands. Innocent children. Younglings. Those images will never go. Then here, on my own, in this most desolate and solitary of places, there is little else to fill my mind.
Padawan, you are not alone. Please know that. And as I have said before, you did not fail with Anakin. He chose his own path. Nothing you could have done differently would have changed that course of history.
But I was the one there. There were signs. I either did not see them or chose not to see them. I only wish you'd have been there. Training him. He needed you, Master. That calm and confident guidance. You understood him, believed in him. I... I hated him at first. Resented him. He knew that. Felt it. Anakin was so powerful at such an age. He sensed all those bad feelings from me, his teacher, his master. He knew I mourned you. He grabbed those feelings and used them against me. Perhaps not consciously. But then... then he was my brother. My family. And yet, in the end, he'd have struck me down without remorse if I'd given him the opportunity. Now, look... look what he's become. A Sith. Pure evil. Pure hatred. Master, how can this not be my fault?
Just as I was not the one to blame for Xanatos. Though you know I did cast that on myself. For years I did. Until my eyes finally opened. Until you helped me understand. His path. His choice. You tried, Obi-Wan. You loved Anakin as your brother. You cared for him as family. You defended him. His betrayal will haunt you until your death. But he was not your fault. You must know that.
Master. It hurts. It hurts every day. Every night. This place, it's impossible. Even on my good days, I feel that ache in my heart. Some days I just need it all to go away. Some days I want only to leave my hovel and never return. To let the desert fade me away. I would be content with that, if it took the pain away.
You carry such a heavy burden, my Padawan. You always have. Long before Anakin, you put this weight on yourself. So often I saw it. The discussions we had. You remember. Late night when your anxieties were at their most potent. We talked over that particular spiced tea you loved so much. It always calmed you.
I did love that tea. I miss it. I miss those talks, Master. They were everything to me. You never berated me for my misgivings. You worked with me to better them. You talked to me to bring me back down off those imaginary ledges that I walked. I got better too. Never perfect, but as long as you were there for guidance... When I lost that guidance, well, it all just went to Sith's hell, didn't it?
There is hope for the future. Luke. Leia. There is hope. You will enable that hope to become reality. As my guidance comforted you, your guidance will one day do the same for Luke. Trust in my words, Obi-Wan. I've not ever lied to you.
Not since the beginning, no. The beginning, when the two of us were confused and arrogant and fighting our place with each other.
We overcame that. We became a team.
A family.
A family.
I miss you, Master.
I am right here, Padawan.
I know, but still.
Obi-Wan, you need to go home. The storms are approaching. You cannot withstand the worst of them without shelter. Go home. Visit with that boy who came here to be with you. To learn from you. He has no ulterior motive other than he cares. We've both felt that from him. When you are at your darkest - as you are now - he is a light. Come now. I will guide you home. The night is closing in and the dust is obscuring your path. You will need my guidance to see you home safely.
Thank you, Master.
—
"Ben? Ben! Where are you?"
A small voice carried a distance in the wind. A compact humanoid shape moved towards him. Along side it, a taller shape.
The boy, he's looking for you. I told you. You've been gone too long. Obi-Wan, quickly go to him. The worst of the storm is about to hit.
"Tannerlin, I am here. Stay where you are!"
The form didn't obey and kept moving closer. When it's cloudy image finally took shape, Ben looked down at Tannerlin Vai. Small, plain, but full of joy and love and all things light. From behind, his brother, Dashen Lesedi hurried to catch up.
"Damn it, Tanner, I told you he was fine. Come on, we've gotta get back to the hovel." Dashen tugged on Tanner's arm.
Ben nodded, "Your brother is right, Tannerlin. Hurry now." He set a hand on the boy's shoulder and pushed him forward as he himself was being guided by Qui-Gon's invisible force. The trio was several hundred yards from the hovel, over two large dunes, but Ben had the Force and the unseen power of his dead master behind his efforts and they arrived just before the storm.
Once inside, Tanner looked at his older friend. The weariness on his sand-stained face. He stepped to him, took hold of his callused hand and pulled him to sit on the floor. Weariness had Ben easily set to his knees and immediately Tanner wrapped arms around his neck.
"You're sad, but it's okay, Ben. It'll be okay."
As I said, Obi-Wan. He has only one motive. To care. He loves you. For all your past misgivings and what you see as failures, this boy looks beyond, he looks into your true soul and sees you. Rejoice in the moments he offers.
Dashen stepped forward to pull Tanner away, then he saw Ben's arms overlap around his brother's back and stopped. Not only was Ben accepting the comfort, but he was literally drowning in it. Tanner was doing what Tanner did best. He was being there. Dashen let him be.
Ben said nothing in return. Afraid that his voice would fail him. He cried though. For which Qui-Gon was grateful. So much pent up pain and anguish.
You're a good man, Obi-Wan. But that can't stop what you feel. What you've suffered. That you are here on Tatooine, doing the impossible with a past that threatens to engulf you completely... the emotions are part of that. Embrace those emotions. They can sometimes be a lifeline.
Qui-Gon's voice paused for a moment, the barely shimmering Force-ghost form closing his eyes and feeling release that his former apprentice was allowing himself.
Obi-Wan Kenobi. Once an unwanted thirteen year old Jedi student. Now one of the strongest persons Qui-Gon could ever claim to know.
My Padawan, if you only understood the strength you possess. This life you have lived, it would have destroyed others long ago. Lean on what you have. This boy. His brother. My presence. We are in his portion of your life for a reason. To help you through the darkest hours. The days without light. I am so proud of you, Padawan. So damned proud. Always know that.
Qui-Gon watched from the netherworld.
For a time, Tannerlin didn't let his friend go. It wasn't until Ben's silent sobs lessened and his breathing turned normal that the boy (and Qui-Gon) knew it was all right. He sat back on his knees to wipe at his young face while carefully eyeing the older Jedi before him.
"I told you it would be okay, Ben."
"How did you know where to look for me?"
"I just knew," Tanner shrugged. "You needed help and the Force drew me to your location. You've told me how dangerous the sand storms are and the signs that they are approaching. I had to find you."
"You could have been hurt or worse."
"I know. But you're my friend and you were hurting. What else was there to do?"
There are people, Obi-Wan, who are destined to come into one's life. Some good. Some not. We are all there for a reason. Reasons that you cannot control. I was there to start you on your journey. Anakin was there to lay challenge and heartache to that journey. This boy, Tannerlin, he is here to show you the light that was once in the galaxy can be again. And he's also here, as he said, to be your friend. Pure of heart, this one is.
"Hey, Mouse," Dashen came to set a hand on Tanner's neck. He squeezed gently. "Let's give Ben a little space, okay? The sand was whipping up hard out there. And emotionally, yeah, you're pretty well spent, Ben. It's a crap feeling, I know. Been there many times before. Probably best if you get cleaned up and comfortable."
Ben let himself be helped up by the older brother. Dashen was much taller than Tannerlin and got him standing on legs that did wobble some.
Dashen too. (Qui-Gon's voice said softly) He's his own person, but you know his story. He's felt the the weight of a planet on his shoulders before. Different than your experience, but loss is loss. You'll be wise to listen to them both for the time being. Let them take care of you, Padawan. It's all right to need help and accept that help.
A hour passed while Ben cleaned up, regained control of who he was and returned back to the main living area. There, Dashen and Tanner were sitting and bickering about nothing in particular. Something regarding the velocity of various sized rocks when they are spun into a sand storm and then propelled forward. The speed. The damage. It was a silly conversation that had little basis in science or fact.
Ben enjoyed every single word of it.
At least until his body and mind could no longer keep him awake.
"My friends, I must rest." He said to them. Collapsing onto his half-moon bed. Even the howling wind and the turbulence battering the outside of the sturdy hovel were not distraction enough to keep his eyes open. "The morning..." he said with a sliver of hope in his voice, "the morning will be brighter. The day will be brighter."
"It will, Ben. You'll see. Me and Dash, we'll be here."
Tanner scuffed the few feet to the bed and squeezed Ben's hand. Those nondescript pale brown eyes of his holding a warmth and love for his dear friend. Through the physical contact and through the Force, Ben felt every drop of that love. Even Qui-Gon felt something and he had no bond or connection with the boy at all. Except perhaps through their shared family - Ben.
I can feel him too, Obi-Wan. Unusual that I can. Strange. But it's very pure. Perhaps that is why we can feel. As he said, you'll be okay. He'll look after you tonight. Keep the nightmares at bay. I will be here as well. You won't be alone. Sleep well, my Padawan.
And with the help of his Force-ghost master, an orphaned Jedi boy, and that boy's non-blood brother - what a odd team they made - Ben slept hard. His friends... his family... they diverted the nightmares and the dreams and all of the accompanying debilitating emotions.
It wouldn't last, but for a brief time, Ben Kenobi, was able to leave all of his traumas behind him.
And when he woke the next morning to sense Qui-Gin near, to see a smiling Tannerlin, and notice a not-all-that-bored-out-of-his-skull Dashen... for however fleeting a moment, they did make for a brighter day.
END
