Chapter Title: Haircut
Series Title: Unlikely Brothers
Ages in this chapter: Tanner (30), Dashen (36), River (6)
POV: Dashen
Chapter Summary: Just past three months freed from the hands of his slaver, River gets his first haircut.
Among other things, Healer Fen Kaveri was an accomplished barber. For a woman who kept her hair covered in colorful hand-woven rags (and you never actually saw her hair because of that) she had a knack for a good trim. She'd kept Tanner and my locks in decent working order for twenty years now.
We'd reached a milestone with our new brother, River Salvus. Former slave kid that Tanner and I found and sort of adopted as our own. Exactly three months from the day we'd found him on Horsh and brought him to freedom and a life much more suited for a boy of six standard years.
At times, life with River was challenging. Other times, it was amazingly wonderful. He was still in recovery mode from his two years under the abusive hands of his former (now dead) slaver. Fen said he'd be in recovery of some sort for months or longer. There was no way to know. The bottom line though, he was moving forward. Challenges or not, he enjoyed his new life and Tanner and Fen and me, we loved having him in ours. What was life without challenges, yes?
When I was younger and a broken desolate soul, I would have never uttered those words. But… life changes, it moves on with or without you. Ultimately, I chose to stick with it and that life was full swing now. I was okay with it all.
Part of River's recovery was figuring out what to do with his hair. It was long. Certainly not ever cut (knife-abuse not withstanding) since before or after the time his parents apparently sold him into slavery on the day of his fourth birthday. Yeah, swallow that thought. I couldn't. Not once. It still made me violently sick to my stomach.
Nevertheless, the point was, he needed to look less like a vagabond and more like a normal six-year-old boy. The shoddy bangs of his dark brown hair hung well below his nose and he was in a constant battle to push them off of his face. The back was unevenly sliced and chopped. And those were memories of a past that we were attempting to help him forget.
We'd wanted the whole hair decision to be his, but he never really brought it up. Maybe he never thought about it, I don't know. Tanner and me kept our hair about shoulder length with longish bangs, but neater and less haphazard. If we could convince the kid to maybe get a cut like his two big brothers...
"Hey River. Tanner and me, we're getting our hair cut today. Fen does it for us."
I stopped, thinking he might jump in and get the hint. The kid tended to catch on quick, though certain things about normal, everyday life, often were lost on him. I mean, seriously, he'd never had normal, everyday life that didn't consist of being worked to the bone, starved or sliced with a vibro-whip. So, there was that.
"We were thinking, Pup, maybe you wanted to come along with us."
His head bobbed in a fast nod. "Yes, I want to go where you and Tanner go."
Good, but not quite there. "We always like you along, but you know Fen and she really likes you. You like her. Do you think maybe..."
Ugh! Why was this so hard to say? Terrified I'd scare the kid off, I guess. This might be better coming from Tanner. He was all about straightforward. I shot him a look to jump in.
"River, what our inept big brother is trying to say, is that we think it's time you get your hair fixed up. Fen cuts our hair for us. Getting a haircut every few months is part of normal life. You've not had one yet. It might make you feel better."
We waited while River didn't outright reject the idea. I hope he understood it. Probably not, but Tanner continued.
"You see how Dash and I have our hair? Maybe you want your hair like ours?"
"I can be like you?"
Bingo! There it was.
"Yup. You can be like me and Dashen. We can all have the same hair. Well, different color, but other than that, all the same. Did you want to try? It's okay if you don't, but we would like you to try."
"It won't hurt, right?"
That stabbed me a bit. Poor kid. Having no idea if something as simple as a hair cut would be painful. What that slaver did to him...
"It won't hurt at all." Tanner assured him. "First you get your hair washed and when it's wet, Fen will cut it just like me and Dashen."
"I like that."
There we go. Affirmative. I sent a com to Fen to add the kid to the list.
—-
As big events went, this one was not all that exciting. River watched us both go through the process. I noticed some concern in his eyes, mostly when he got a peak at the size of the scissors, but not once did he flinch or verbally change his mind.
River knew Fen so well by now. Honestly, he really did love her. She'd been his healer since he came to us, and she kept him with her during the portion of the days while Tanner and I worked. Certainly he trusted her as much as he trusted the two of us. Still, Tanner sat close while the process happened, I could see him reaching out to River through the Force, offering a bit of warm comfort. The weird magic contact had calming effects on both River and Tanner.
Once River's hair was wet, he sat quietly in the chair and shook his long bangs back and forth. They extended further than I thought. This would definitely be an improvement and would certainly make him feel better. It always did me.
"Okay, young one. Your first hair cut. You want it to be like your brothers?"
"My brothers." River repeated. Like he still couldn't comprehend how his life had changed. "Yes, I like that. But..." He stopped, looking suddenly at Tanner. In particular, his blue eyes caught Tanner's right shoulder. More specifically, his Jedi apprentice braid that he still proudly held wore. A sign of his past and in remembrance of the mentor and family he'd lost. He kept it shoulder length and banded.
Tanner caught the glance, but he waited for River to ask the question. Teaching independence and confidence at every step. My brother. Had to love him.
"Tanner has a magic braid. He's like me. Magic."
There is was again, clinging to that connection of Force magic between he and Tanner. River still didn't grasp it all, but he knew he'd found another person who could understand. And Tanner, this was his chance to be that teacher and mentor he'd always wanted to be as a Jedi. To walk in the powerful footsteps of his Jedi teacher, Ayden Yen. It would never be the same as the old school Jedi master and apprentice partnership, not with the Jedi all but extinct, but it still had special meaning for Tanner.
"He is like you, River." Fen said. "You wish to have a braid like your brother."
River nodded as I watched Tanner reach for a nearby pair of scissors and lop off a lock of his hair. He motioned to me to to the same. Similar length. He took mine, then laid them on the table.
"It's tradition," Tanner began, "for a teacher and student to intertwine their hair into the single braid. So, in honor of that, River's hair should be wrapped with that of his brothers." He motioned me to step towards River.
With the locks of hair in his hand again, Tanner reached to the right shoulder of River, finding the perfect placing of the braid behind the ear. Gently grasping River's long hair, Tanner oh so carefully melded the three together in a tightly woven braid. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out three tiny bands. The colors represented us. Green. Blue. Brown. Eye color.
Not included was the traditional white band that signaled the first year of apprenticeship. That wasn't this. This wasn't us bringing in a trainee or student. This was us signaling to River that he was our brother. Forever. That Tanner had the bands and those exact colors in his pocket, confused me for a minute. Until it didn't. There were certain times, I'd noticed that my brother was tuned into River's emotions. The beginnings of a connection they shared within the Force. There was no mind reading, but between feelings and actually beginning to understand the boy... oh and Tanner being the sharpest around at reading people, somehow he'd known this day was coming.
The tight braid was set. The bands then placed in order of age. The first band, blue. It went in the middle of the braid. The second band, brown. It went a inch further down. The last braid, green, secured the bottom. Once dry, the braid would feather out from there. Just like Tanner's. With the longer length of River's never-cut hair, the end of the braid fell right about shoulder length. Just like Tanner's.
"Okay, River." Tanner said, "Fen will cut your hair and then dry it. The braid will be protected with the tight weave and the three bands."
Small fingers reached up to touch the wet braid and it's bands. I could see River's face trying hard to contain his emotions.
"Looks good, Pup." I said to him, using the month-old nickname.
Fen then went to work. Careful and gentle, mindful of the boy's past under abusive hands. It took time; his hair more of a mess than we thought. The end result though... it was prefect. The braid looked a little out of place, but he'd grow into it. The length was right at the top of his shoulders. The bangs would hang just over his eyes, but no longer hiding half his face. The richness of the dark brown color came to life with the cut. It fit him.
The mirror presented the new River Salvus. He fingered the braid again, this time with eyes on it in the mirror. The bands he touched all in a row.
"It's soft. Thank you, Fen. Makes me feel good inside. The bad man, he used to grab us by our hair. Some pieces would rip out. Sometimes he would use a vibro-knife. It would bleed too."
Stomach, holding in check. I swear, every time this kid spoke of that violent past, bile rose in my throat. Usually I could contain it, but on occasion, the only way to resolve the issue was a quick sprint to puke into a toilet. Not all that classy, but this kid was a gentle soul. That anyone could so violently harm him...
This time, I pushed the bile rising down with a few of those deep, meditative breaths Tanner had taught me. It worked.
Fen ran her hands through the boy's hair. A motherly gesture. It was calming but with reason behind it. River was still working on touch. So, any opportunity to offer that to him without causing undue stress, yup, we took advantage of it. He'd been quicker to accept Fen in that regard. Probably because she was female and the persons who abused him had been male. He'd made giant strides in letting us all a bit closer though. Fen taking the chance here to soothe with touch was a big moment. A mother's touch for which he'd never been on the receiving end; his parents having literally sold him into slavery as a four year old. His mother apparently the one that actually handed him off to the abuser in exchange for money.
Fen offered the exact opposite of that. Her hands were natural healing hands. She was a mother herself. She understood the needs of children and how to allow them to thrive. River seemed inclined with her current attention, closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the feel of being cared for by a gentle female presence.
When all was said and done, he sat in front of the mirror seeing himself. Blue eyes watered over and he sniffed back the initial tears before giving up the effort.
A concerned Tanner said his name. "River?"
River sniffed. "Dashen said that he cries not-sad tears sometimes." True, I'd told him that. Okay, so maybe not-sad were not my exact words. He got the message though. "I like this so much. And it's okay to cry when you are happy, right?"
"Of course. This makes you happy?"
"My hair. My braid. My brothers. Fen. Yes, this all makes me happy. I'm sad for the other Numbers. They died. They never got to have family. Or haircuts. They never got to be free. Not like me. I'm sad for them, but happy for me. Is that okay too?"
"It is. Dashen and I have those thoughts a lot. Happy for our future, but sad for what is in our past. Even now, so many years later, we still get happy and sad at the same time. It's okay to be that way."
There would be unresolved feelings there for a long time. He'd spent two years with those other kids. The Numbers. He never referred to them as friends or anything similar (probably he didn't even understand that word then) but certainly he had feelings of familiarity with some of them. They all suffered. They all were hurt. Most of them died. One way or the other, River would be tied to them all his life. Like Kossi was with me. Like Ayden with Tanner. To each or own horrific pasts.
"The braid feels funny." He messed with the bands holding the locks of hair together. With care, they'd stay that way forever. Tanner's had. For him, his Jedi apprentice braid was his lifeline to never forgetting. Maybe with River it would be similar.
"You'll get used to it. When I first got mine, I had really short hair. It was tradition for a Jedi apprentice to have that type of haircut. And the braid was also short. It was weird at first and always used to tickle my ear and neck." Unconsciously, my brother reached for his own braid. A habit he'd developed early in our relationship. Pretty sure the action brought him some sort of comfort. "Your's looks good, River," he finished up. "It fits you."
Yeah, River liked that. Smiling in the mirror and turning his head just enough to view the braid from a different light. He always did enjoy when Tanner mentioned something they shared. Magic mostly. Now the braid.
When River hopped off the chair, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. The three of us. If nothing else matched us as brothers (as there was no blood relation anywhere between us) the haircuts did. Mine was a tad longer to go better with my taller frame, but the general idea was there. In this one singular way, we matched.
"Thanks, Fen. This was a good step."
Fen nodded toward me. "Slowly but surely, this young one is making his way. I am grateful to be part of it. He's a good boy."
Good. River heard it. That word. It meant something. He'd had nothing but bad in his life prior to us. I can imagine that under the eye and evil hands of the slaver, there was nothing good at all. From what Fen had told us, slavers consistently use verbal abuse to con the youngest into working. Do this impossible task or you'll be labeled bad for the rest of your life. Bad this. Bad that. River loved hearing that he wasn't bad; that he was good. It's one of the things he latched onto, so we used it purposely. We just made sure it was used in the right places.
The healer knelt down to eye level with our charge. "River, I will see you tomorrow after breakfast then. Bring your studies, all right?"
His studies. No, he wasn't in school. It would be a bit before that happened, but Tanner did give him assignments from the classes he taught. They were basic beginner things, not the exact curriculum. But River wanted to learn. He wanted to be normal. He was behind in just about everything any six year old would have done by that age. We were only three months in. Wouldn't take forever to catch him up. He was willing.
On the other side, Fen taught him some basic matters in the healing arts during any slow periods of her days. The kid took to it readily, so we definitely wanted to encourage that. You never know, one day we might just have a full-fledged healer in the Brothers Three.
"I will bring my studies, Fen. They are on my data-pad. Mister Colton got me a new fancy one. It fits in my new kit bag and everything!"
Colton was spoiling him. The new data-pad, okay, yes, the boy was working off my old crappy one, so he needed something that didn't groan and whine when you pressed the power button. The kit bag - not sure why he called it that - was an oversized backpack. Much too big for his tiny frame, but it was a gift from Nyssa (Colton's significant other), who was becoming another calming and positive female influence for the kid. He carried (dragged?) the damn bag everywhere when he first got it - yes, all of those two days ago. Tanner did convince him that he only needed it when he was heading off to spend the day with Fen. There was no reason to lug it around the house all day.
But what can you do? The boy had literally nothing to his name when we found him except a number and a ragged pair of pants. Having actual possessions that were yours and yours alone, there was something to be said for that.
"I'm excited to see your new data-pad and kit bag." Fen said, not having seen those things yet. Of course then he was excited that she was excited and it was spiraling. Time to head home.
"Come on, Pup. Fen has a busy schedule. You'll see her tomorrow. Tanner?" I motioned to my brother to move River along. When the kid got comfortable in any situation, he tended to not want to move away from it. Not the best habit. We were figuring out how to break him of part of it. Tanner was better with it than me. Honestly, I think he just whammied the kid with the Force to direct him away from whatever it was. Cheater.
Tanner held out a hand. Palm up. River's thing. He was better now with hands. Rarely did he hesitate with taking ours when offered. We still hadn't achieved much beyond that simple touch. But hands, yes, hands were good.
River took Tanner's hand then reached his other out for mine. First time for everything. One big brother on either side. Tanner and I exchanged quick smiles.
"Can we go get sweet pala cream cakes now?"
We walked out the door and started down the road. How'd the kid know we were near that dessert vendor? Huh. He did have a sweet tooth. As did I. As did Tanner. I eyed my brother.
"Your call, Mouse."
Tanner relented quickly, like he was really gonna turn down his most favorite food in the entire galaxy. "Well… I guess this is cause to celebrate."
"Like you need an excuse to shovel down ten of those things. You probably hold the galaxy-wide record for most eaten in a single meal."
River's eyes got big. Huge really. As big as a pala cake. "You ate that many? I can only eat one."
"Our big brother exaggerates, River. As usual. He can be extremely silly at times." Tanner gave me a wink and I watched as the boy's hand tightened around his. I felt the same on mine. Tanner saying our big brother, it struck a chord inside our newest addition. A chord that was warm and cozy and safe. Three of the things that River loved best.
Hands grasped with the little one between us, we moved down the street. It was a beautiful chilly day in Kaolin. With fresh haircuts on board, the Lesedi-Vai-Salvus brothers were out and about.
Without a doubt, the oddest pairing of brothers ever to walk the galaxy.
Not related by blood, but in every other way, family.
END
