Bellatrix sat staring out at the ocean, endless grey water under an endless grey sky. The weather matched her mood. She dug her toes into the sand just out of reach of the slow waves. A light drizzle caused her hair to look as though tiny little diamond droplets were sprinkled throughout each ringlet. Her black robes were damp and sandy as she continued down the stretch of beach. She looked over her shoulder at the tiny cottage already being swallowed up in the fog bank. The endless fog, it suffocated her, it closed her in. In the distance she could see a light house, a tiny little pinprick of light that turned around and around. She counted sixty times before walking again. It took her an hour to walk around the entire island and arrive back at her cottage. The winter seemed endless today.

Hermione found her sitting there on the rocks of the shoreline, her knees drawn up staring into the emptiness of the vast ocean beyond. Hermione had often found her there, not speaking, just staring, wet through and cold to the bone. Usually she took Bella's hand or Bella would stand up after a moment or two and they would walk back to the cottage together but not today.

"I went to the shops today." Bella said after a few minutes of silence. Hermione sat next to her looking out at the water. "Oh?" "Molly Weasley was there." Bella's voice was similar to how it had been two years before when Hermione had first been brought into the case and when she had first seen Bellatrix face to face since the Battle of Hogwarts. Hermioine knew that a meeting with Molly could not have ended well. "What happened?" She whispered wishing Bella's hand was in her reach but it wasn't; the witch had them firmly clasped in against her chest.

"She called me a murderer. Said I didn't deserve to walk among decent wizarding folk. Told the shop keeper that if he served me he would lose her business and said she would spread the word that he does business with a death eater murderer." Bellatrix blinked slowly. Hermione was speechless. "She's right." Bella said "I am a murderer." Hermione looked down at the wand broken at Bella's side. "I see them." Bella continued, "Every day, their faces, I hear them, I hear them beg for mercy, beg to be spared, I feel the spells pull from me into my wand. The delicious feeling that gave me power over life and death. A part of me aches for it, aches to just-" She didn't finish, she could feel Hermione's eyes on her. "I won't hurt you." She whispered sadly to Hermione. "I just- it would shut it out when I did those spells. It would shut them up, shut up the screams, erase their faces. I can't now, that wand is useless." She said pushing the pieces off the rock now so that the broken wand landed in the sand. "They didn't know, Alice and Frank, they didn't know where he was. I couldn't stop, I couldn't stop cursing them. Everything in my mind was screaming to stop, begging me to stop. I couldn't stop. Every time I cursed them, every spell that hit I loved it. I laughed Hermione." She looked at Hermione, "I laughed when they screamed. I loved to hear them scream. I loved it when they cried, when they pleaded. Their son, Neville, he was there, he watched. I made sure he watched."

Hermione felt as though she were going to be sick. "You said it- it was an accident."

"It was." Bella said looking back out at the sea. "I lost control of myself. I lost my soul that day Hermione. I didn't care at that point, I was happy to be in Azkaban, I knew I couldn't hurt anyone if I was in Azkaban."

Hermione's vision blurred with unshed tears, Neville, her friend.

"What I did to you." Bellatrix said finally looking at Hermione. "That night in at the manor. There was another way. I could have taken you upstairs, told you everything. Told you to scream to sound convincing. But I didn't, I hurt you. I listened to your screams, watched you plead and cry. I marked your skin, it will never fade, it will always be there. I could have killed you." Bellatrix swallowed hard, "What if I had lost control then? What if I had done something worse? What if I hadn't been able to pull back to tell you where to find the cup?"

"I don't deserve your love Pet." Bellatrix said before pushing herself off the rock to head home. "I deserve Azkaban. If not for the Longbottoms then for what I did to you."

Hermione didn't follow her. Her heart and the ocean roared in her ears.

Tonks stopped short when she entered Hermione's flat with takeaway. "Mum's minding Teddy so I have all night if you- Hermione." Tonks said dropping the bags on the table and rushing to the couch. Hermione, her face swollen from crying looked at Tonks. "I have to tell you something." Tonks braced herself. "What is it?" "Bellatrix." "My aunt?" Hermione nodded. "Has she done something?" Hermione shook her head no. "Oh Merlin is she dead?" Tonks said, her hand in front of her mouth.

"No- I-" Hermione's words caught in her throat, nobody knew, nobody had a clue, she had to tell someone. "That is, we-" Hermione swiped at her tears angrily. "We- oh Tonks, I don't know what to do."

Tonks sat back from the couch and frowned, "Your relationship is more than just work?"

"Yes." Hermione said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you when it started. I'm so sorry."

Tonks didn't look angry but her eyes, she had Bellatrix's eyes when she was in her natural state, they looked at Hermione with the same intensity. "When?"

"Well I've known her for years."

"Obviously Hermione, when did it start?" Tonks continued as though she were probing Hermione's eyes for the answers.

"We- at Christmas, we- we kissed and- well- at Christmas."

Tonks nodded, "Does anyone else know?"

"No, nobody." Hermione said hiccupping a little from her tears. "Are you angry?"

Tonks stood up to retrieve the Chinese food, "I am scared for you actually. There really isn't anything to say other than please end it. It isn't good. I am guessing these tears are not because you were scared to tell me. End it Hermione. Please."

Hermione shook her head.

"You're not bonded to her Hermione, end it." Tonks' voice grew slightly louder. "Are you fucking crazy?"

Hermione let out a shuddering breath.

"Oh my fuck DID YOU BOND TO HER?" Tonks' hair went magenta, her eyes matching the hair.

"NO!" Hermione shouted, "NO, we, NO."

Tonks collapsed in the chair to breath, she opened up a container of rice and angrily forked some into her mouth glaring at Hermione. "Merlin's sake Hermione if you are fucking lying to me."

"WE ARE NOT BONDED!" Hermione shouted angrily. "I just- I just needed to tell someone." She finished in a quiet voice.

"End it. Now, tonight." Tonks said before stabbing at her Mongolian beef.

"She ended it." Hermione said, fresh tears welling up in her eyes.

"When?"

"I- I think she ended it. She said she doesn't deserve my love and she walked away."

Tonks took a deep breath and frowned, "No, it's not done. You have to end it Hermione. She's dangerous, I know she worked for our side in the war but Hermione, she's dangerous. Not the war stuff, other stuff. She's not stable, not anymore, she changed."

"I don't think I can." Hermione said swallowing down another sob. "I love her-" Tonks put her hand up in the air to stop Hermione. "You don't love her, you lust her. She's beautiful it is understandable you don't love her."

"But I do." Hermione said quietly.

Tonks looked at the floor, what could she say. She had loved Remus, in the insanity of war, in the isolation of being thrown together in alarming circumstances she had loved Remus. Her son Teddy was the outcome, a widow at such a young age, Teddy a fatherless child and still she loved Remus. She spoke to him every day, told him about Teddy and what was happening. Remus had been gone for years, dead longer than she had known him living and still she loved him.

"She will hurt you Hermione." Tonks said, echoing her own mother's words to her about Remus.

"I know."

"She's dangerous my angel."

"I know."

"It will end with tragedy." Tonks said the final words her mother had spoken to her the night Remus died.

"It doesn't have to." Hermione said, "You don't see the things I see in her."