Chapter Title: Death by Couch Stain
Series Title: Unlikely Brothers
Ages in this chapter: Dashen (18), Tanner (13)
POV: Dashen
Chapter Summary: The boys find trouble after accidentally staining Colton's prized couch.
So, we were gonna die. Today.
If not right this second, than pretty damned soon.
I blamed myself.
I could blame Tanner, but the kid was only following my lead.
It wouldn't be a violent death. Just an unnecessary one.
The sad part is, we sat there waiting for it. No running. No scurrying. No bawling. Tanner.. well, Tanner was actually grinning. At me. Then the door. Then me. Then the door. Was he giggling now? Damn Jedi.
"Stop that!"
"He's only gonna kill you, Dash. I'm good."
"He'll kill you for listening to me."
"You're the idiot, not me."
"Right. Sure. And who was the one that let the swamp rats into the ground car last week?"
"That was not my fault! Those monsoon rains we had washed them into town and they were drowning. I had to save them. The helpless, desperate looks on their pointed little whiskered faces."
"Yes, and their diseased grubby little claws that left mud and grime all over the sparkling clean interior of Colton's ground car."
"I'd do it again."
"Which is exactly why you've been walking to school in the cold rain for three straight days, dummy."
"Colton has forgiven me, Dash."
"Tell me that again after we die in the next three minutes."
Pounding footsteps made their way up the stairs to our apartment. Interesting, because those steps were relatively quiet, designed specifically so. I guess that's how furious Colton was.
"Forget three minutes, Mouse. We die now."
So, we didn't flinch when the door shifted open and the giant form of Virgil Colton stomped in. Okay, maybe he didn't stomp as much he just walked normally on his huge frame. One large hand fisted, the other holding an enormous glass of gold colored ale. Neither Tanner or I moved a muscle as he turned the corner to face us sitting on our couch. Those blue eyes of his that could be the most frightening things in the galaxy were glaring hard. The blonde hair running just past his shoulders and that usually hung free, was pulled back behind his ears. The creases in the corners of eyes and mouth were thinned just enough show us how irritated he was. I didn't see actual rage though. There was something. Maybe we'd just get beaten to a pulp rather than killed.
But wait a minute. This was Colton. He didn't turn to violence without reason. Was being an idiot really a reason for murder?
"Sometimes, Dashen, you really are… no, no. I promised myself I'd not go there. I'm not going to kill you, you dumbass."
Dumbass. That's was different. Huh. Felt kinda nice to have a newly minted moniker.
"Stop smiling Dashen Lesedi. Same goes for you, Tannerlin Vai."
Uh oh. Full names. Always a bad sign. Back in the day, when my folks used my whole name, it usually meant my butt was grass.
"Did you think I would not find out? Did you think I'd look right past it?" The big man said, speaking as if we were the planet's most irritating little toddlers.
"Well, no. It wasn't intentional. I'd swear on Tanner's braid that it wasn't."
Tanner slapped my hand away from his ear. "My hair will not protect you, big brother."
"I did seriously contemplate killing you. I mean, I'd have been within my rights. You're lucky this time. A warning. For both of you."
Seriously? A warning? No death or maiming or dropping us off on the other side of the planet and having to hitchhike home? (That last one didn't work out too well - I still have the scars from the poison plants that I'd fallen into, but that's another story.
"But Colt, your couch. It's… a mess."
Yup. That's what this was all about. His precious galaxy-sized couch. Estimated to cost more than a small starship. The fabric imported from one of the furthest rim planets, a specific time of year, in a specific year at a specific time of day. It was weird, yes.
Tanner and I had had a little accident with the late night snack we'd been feasting on while Colton was off on business or whatever the hell he'd been doing the last two nights. Probably off with life-long lady pal, Nyssa Kor drooling somewhere together during her quick stop over on Terra.
Not that it mattered where he was, it mattered where we were. Being idiots, I guess, but that couch, it's so ridiculously comfortable that when we get a little window of that… we lose our brains. And we spilled our brown jamocha drinks all over it during one of our, ah idiotic brother fights. Okay, yes this was definitely all our fault.
But I was confused by the warning-only thing. Colton loved that couch more than he loved his hair or his ground car or his money.
"It is a mess… however, it can be cleaned. Will cost me a literal arm and leg, which you idiots will be paying back, but it can be cleaned."
Great. Add that to our tabs. I already owed him what I could never repay for Tanner's schooling. But then again, profit-making was never my thing. I nodded in agreement with the big guy. Tanner too. Didn't make us any less confused at the lack of punishment though.
It was then that another pair of boots made their way up the stairs.
I turned an eye to Tanner. "Hey, Mouse. Do we make that much noise coming up those stairs?"
"You do," Colton but in. "Constantly."
The footfalls became a person, became Nyssa Kor. The blue-skinned, blue-haired, blue-eyed female version of Colton; just with a little less edginess.
"Boys, good to see you again. And you're welcome." She too held an enormous glass of golden ale, lifting it toward us.
About to open my mouth and ask what for when Tanner kicked me in the ankle. Don't ask the stupid question. Use my brain. Nyssa. She was the one who had gotten us out of this mess. Bless her giant blue heart or whatever color it was.
"I knew I was gonna like you, Nyssa." I said with the galaxy's stupidest smirk on my face. Tanner smacked me in the head.
"Don't lie, Dash. You said she wasn't anything other than a female version of Colton. Just a lot bluer."
"I was young and stupid then and shut up, Tanner!"
With a laugh, the blue lady set down her ale and walked over to sit between us. There wasn't a lot of room there, so she basically forced us apart (you know, attached at the hip and all - sometimes literally).
This kinda felt like one of those times we were about to die for being idiots. Nyssa would never murder us outright though. Her hands were cleaner than Coltons - in theory.
However… "My dear boys, I know so much more about you than you'll ever guess."
That was slightly ominous. I did manage to shrug it off though. Score one for Mr. Anxiety!
"I too was young and foolish," she went on. "As was Virgil. We've all been there."
Ah, better. Ominous feeling gone. More promises of stories from the past too. We really did have to have her over more often.
"I would however, venture carefully with the couch situation. You know how grumpy Virgil is when it comes to his beloved, especially when he's a bit tipsy on the ale."
Beloved. She meant the furniture, not herself.
My voice lowered to a whisper as I held my thumb and forefinger about a inch apart. "Just a tad."
From behind, Colton said, "You know I can hear you. Both of you. I'm standing right here."
Did I sense some exasperation in that reverberative voice of his? I did. With now three against one, who wouldn't be a bit cranky? Well, maybe two-and-a-half against one. Tanner was playing it mostly safe right now. Smart enough to keep his trap shut while Nyssa and I dug ourselves in.
At least no one was dying today for sitting on a couch. That was something. Nyssa took a pinch of both my and Tanner's ears though before she got up. A show, to humor her blonde friend. That was painful.
"Behave, boys. I may not be here next time to butter him up. Try to keep the idiocy to a minimum."
I shrugged while I rubbed at my ear. "We'll try. Good to see you again, Ny."
She smiled at us. "Always makes my days brighter to see you two."
No lie, she leaned over and kissed my forehead, then did the same with Tanner. Truly, she was becoming a part of the family; a part that we never wanted to see leave. Tanner reached around and hugged her at the waist. Never a kid to leave his emotions on the inside. Thirteen and still enjoyed latching onto those he cared about. Yeah, he was a good kid. And we were both not dead, having survived the staining of the couch. We got to see Nyssa even if just long enough for her to save our butts. Pretty good day all around.
The extra large couple (one blue, one not) headed for the stairs.
"Dashen?" Colt said, looking back.
"Yes?"
"Stay off the damn couch. Next time, Ny might not be here to save your ass. And stop teaching your brother bad idiotic habits. Oh and you're on the jewel run tomorrow, so be sharp."
"The jewel run, aw, Colt. That's Barus. He hates me. And half the time the jewels he has me run are nothing but shiny rocks. Which, yes I know that is mostly what jewels are, but he digs them out of ground, pretends they are valuable and pawns them off on unsuspecting idiots who, when I drop the non-jewel-jewels off, and get payment, in a matter of sixty seconds, they realize they've paid for dirt and they start chasing me with vibro-knives! The last time, I almost lost a toe!"
"Ah, good old, Barus. He's about what, two hundred years old now? Can't see a lick in front of him, but he can lie like the dickens. Grumpy ole bastard too. Loves his jewels though and pays well. Have fun, kid!"
"Colt! Damn it! Colt! Arrrrh!" Too late. He and Nyssa were down the stairs and headed to who knew where to do who knew what and hell… I knew what they were doing. Damn it. Barus. I tried hard not to hate people, but Barus pushed hard at those limits.
Crap. So much for Nyssa getting me off the hook.
"Look at the bright side, big brother, Colton didn't kill you. You're not dead." Leave it to Tanner to chime in with an unnecessary and useless fact.
"Not yet. Barus is likely to kill me though."
"Yeah, but he's half blind, about the size of a Hutt, and the last time he chased you, you were limping on both legs and still distanced him in about thirty seconds. Unless he starts throwing blaster bolts at your head, you'll probably survive. Most of his clients, they're not gunners. You'll be fine."
Eh, he had a point. I still had the right to pout and complain about tomorrow.
"Hey, wanna ditch school and join me?"
Tanner laughed so hard, he almost coughed out a lung. And it wasn't the 'join me' part of my comment that got him going.
"You want me to voluntarily skip school? Oh, Dash. Maybe you need some of that ale Colton and Nyssa were drinking."
Little brothers who doubled as school addicts were often times no help at all. I threw a pillow at his head. Nailed him! Take that Jedi boy. The pillow returned fire. Or rather it was the returned fire. Force driven and stinging! Damn little brothers with creepy wizard magic.
"All right, Mouse. That's it, you're going down!"
And with a flying leap from my sitting position, I tackled him sideways, we landed hard and proceeded to engage in ten minutes of floor wrestling that ultimately ended in us laughing way to hard at absolutely nothing.
As we set there on the floor, side by side, arms flailed and sucking in deep breaths between the last gasps of laughter, I took stock of my strange life. After so much trauma, here I was, almost nineteen years old, with this adopted Jedi kid as a brother, living in the house of criminal kingpin, and about to go run my ass off in ten hours for some Hutt-sized insane jewel collector.
I took it all in. Oh and with the help of another Force-hurled pillow having just landed on my face.
Huh.
Maybe a shot of that ale wasn't such a bad idea.
END
