Miss Balamb Garden

Chapter Eight | Between A Rock and a hard place


"This is friggin' insane. Holy hell. Urgh. Ouchhhh."

Zell was grunting and cursing steadily beside Seifer, and though he had half a mind to tell him to shut it, Seifer decided to save what little breath he had left. Besides, even he had to agree with Chicken-wuss' sentiments. On the other side of him, Squall was silent, but his face was red and set in a pained grimace that made it plain that he, too, was thinking in a similar vein. Irvine was in front of Seifer so he couldn't see his face, but he was willing to bet his left ass cheek that the cowboy wasn't having the time of his life either.

It was 0600 hours, they'd all been coerced by the girls to try a once-off hot yoga lesson, and ten minutes into the session, with sweat pouring profusely down his face, Seifer knew he shouldn't have left his bed. He only understood half the words that came out of the instructor's mouth (the butter what?) and every move so far had contorted his body in a way he was sure wasn't fit for the human anatomy.

There weren't many people in attendance; just the four boys, the girls, and a few other female students and SeeDs. Meanwhile, the girls were completely in their element, especially Quistis. This at least explained why she woke up at the unholy hour of 5AM. Selphie was good too, but that didn't surprise Seifer. Little pixie girl was practically elastic, she could probably slither up pipes if she wanted to.

"Now, stomach facing downward to the mat and gently breathing into the dhanurasana."

Oh geez. Seifer winced as he strained muscles he didn't even know he had, arching his back as far as it could go and glowering up at the off-white colour of the ceiling. And why the hell does it have to be so damn HOT in here?

He glanced to his side and saw Zell's red face contorted like he was straining to lay a football sized egg.

"You look constipated, Dincht," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

To Seifer's surprise, Squall let out a snort and Zell went (if possible) even redder, losing control over his pose. Fuming, he rolled sideways off his mat ("Dude, what gives?") and elbowed Seifer, which of course caused him to topple over and domino into Squall, knocking him out of the bow pose too.

The yoga instructor cast a disapproving look at them and they immediately sobered up, though Seifer had an irrepressible desire to laugh. Across the room, Quistis caught his eye and raised an eyebrow, though she looked amused. He flashed a smirk back, though he was sure the effect was ruined by how sweaty and dishevelled he must have looked.

By the end of the hour, when they'd finally finished saluting the sun or something, Seifer was ready to haul ass out of the stuffy room. It was starting to reek of feet and sweat. And it probably never did with just girls in the class, but the presence of four hot-blooded males was surely going to cause a stink when the heating was cranked up so damn high.

The lesson hadn't been all bad, though, Seifer reasoned. Anything to do with strength and power he was all over, and he'd found he could do several advanced poses due to his sheer strength. But flexibility? Forget it.

"That wasn't too bad," Zell echoed Seifer's thoughts genially as they all congregated outside in the corridor after the lesson. He had a sweat towel slung over his shoulder. "I thought I was pretty darn graceful."

"Yeah. About as graceful as a giraffe playing twister."

"Hey - "

"Thank you for joining the class today, boys," called a clear, sweet female voice from behind them, making the group all turn back around. Dana the instructor had left the classroom and was standing there smiling, not a lock of hair out of place. "Will you be back next week?"

An awkward silence descended on the boys in which they looked at each shiftily and then avoided each other's eye.

"..."

"Uh…"

"You were quite good, Seifer," Dana addressed him directly, taking the blonde by surprise. "You should really consider returning. I could help you improve your flexibility."

He blinked in the face of her open, expectant smile. "Uhh…"

Over Dana's shoulder, Seifer tried to ignore Rinoa as she clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles. Squall was wearing an uncharacteristically smug smile. Irvine widened his eyes and mouthed out, "Ohhh yeahhhh."

Seifer felt a wave of apprehension wash over him, the pressure mounting to say something although he didn't quite know what, when to his surprise Selphie butted in.

"Nah, that's okay Dana. He's got Quistis to help him with that."

"I am?" said Quistis on the side, confused.

"Yep, Quistis. Seifer. Flexibility," said Selphie airily. "It's practically one whole word. Thanks for the lesson! Let's go, everyone."

She chivvied them all on, walking ahead to lead the way. She had to grab Irvine's hand and pull him along as he stood rooted there, gaping in surprise. He protested as they tumbled down the corridor towards the elevator, "Sefie, you totally just cut Seifer's grass - "

"Actually I'm watering it to reach insurmountable heights of growth. You'll see."

Rinoa grinned at Selphie, subtly holding her hand out behind her that Selphie swiftly slapped a high-five into. Squall shook his head in bemusement while Irvine and Zell appeared nonplussed. Seifer and Quistis brought up the rear; Quistis appeared to be in deep thought which explained why she hadn't noticed how Selphie and Rinoa were dragging the others on ahead, leaving them both behind.

"Should I help you with that, Seifer?" Quistis asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Your flexibility."

"Why would you do that?"

Quistis glanced at the others ahead and dropped her voice, "Because I think this should be your physical fitness portion."

"Yoga?" Seifer said incredulously. "Are you serious? Did you see us struggle in there?"

"I know, but you could also do several of those poses at the end. If we practised a bit, you could improve your flexibility in just a few weeks. I think it's the best idea. Everyone knows you're a great fighter and how you handle your gunblade, but doing yoga will show commitment and humility. Like you're really trying to empathise with being a woman because yoga is considered a 'girl thing'. If I were a judge, I would give you extra points just for trying something different."

He considered this for a couple of seconds. "...You never give this a rest, do you?"

"I do things properly, Seifer," Quistis said with dignity.

"Can't fault you for that. Alright," he sighed heavily. "So you're gonna help me hyper-extend my limbs?"

"Unless you prefer Dana to teach you." Was her voice a few notches cooler? "I think she'd really enjoy that."

"What do you mean?"

Quistis raised her eyebrows as if she couldn't believe he could be this dense. "She was flirting with you, Seifer," she told him bluntly.

Seifer was befuddled, raising his eyebrows. "She was?"

"Oh, come on." Quistis took a step towards him, deliberately looking up through long lashes and saying in a sweet yet coy voice, " 'I could help you improve your flexibility, Seifer.' "

Seifer blinked, totally unprepared for this version of Quistis so close to him and speaking in that way and gazing at him like that. His heart stuttered for a split second, then with a grunt he put a finger on her forehead and pushed her away.

"Get outta my face," he muttered while she chortled.

(Neither of them noticed the gang turn around and catch a glimpse of this scene, which was the exact moment Irvine went, "Ohhhhh" in comprehension and winked at Selphie. "Water that grass, girl!" Zell's eyes bugged out and he hissed sideways to Squall, "Did Quistis just laugh in Seifer's company?!")

"Anyway, it can be our main focus for the next couple of sessions," said Quistis matter-of-factly as they resumed walking. "You're pretty well covered in everything else so far."

It didn't seem so long ago that Seifer had been ruminating upon the unexpected events of his life, but he felt like he'd experienced another lifetime in the last month or so that racked up perhaps a dozen more zany accomplishments. Add tight yoga pants to the list. Yippee.

But as it transpired over the next few days, it wasn't so bad. The yoga itself was actually rather therapeutic and Quistis was a decent teacher. Perhaps too good, if his glazed eyes and wandering imagination could attest to whenever she demonstrated a pose all clad in her tight yoga gear.

Seifer had no idea what the other contestants were preparing for in terms of their talent or physical fitness, but he felt confident that neither would include dancing or yoga, so he felt like Quistis was correct in that he had an edge here.

And so all was going swimmingly until Seifer pushed himself too hard in one of the poses and his calf muscle spasmed painfully. This effectively put a halt to their yoga class as he hissed through his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. Quistis floundered around, insisting she use something called tiger balm on it.

"What the heck is that?" he yelped, recoiling. "I'm not putting some voodoo crap on my body. Just give me pills and prescriptions please."

"Eastern medicine is not voodoo crap, Seifer, now hold still. It's just a balm."

Seifer sat cautiously on the couch. Thank Hyne he was wearing loose shorts, because removing his pants again in her room was conjuring all kinds of tempting feelings and thoughts.

Quistis set to work, popping the lid off the balm and smoothing it down onto his tight muscle.

The smell of menthol immediately assailed his scents, and the air hitting the skin she'd already applied the balm on was cool and soothing. Seifer released his shoulders and allowed himself to relax into her touch. Maybe this stuff did work. Or maybe it was just Quistis' hands, rubbing back and forth on his thigh.

Mmmm.

Her warm, firm hands caressing his skin…

Blood rushed through his body, and as relaxed and pleasantly drowsy as he had been before, Seifer's brain suddenly went into red hot alert as a certain part of him grew tight.

And hard.

Oh. Hyne. Dear Hyne, no. Not now.

Sweat broke out on his forehead as Seifer gripped the couch fabric between his fists and grit his teeth.

He glanced down grimly, already knowing the sight his boxers would display. An impressive sight, he had to say, but nonetheless probably one Quistis would find harassing and unwelcome. By some miracle she hadn't noticed how stiff he'd gotten (in all kinds of ways), concentrating on massaging his sore muscles. For a brief second Seifer found this endearing.

Until he remembered his pointy problem. Rather gormlessly Seifer covered himself with his hands.

He had no idea what he was supposed to say or do. There was way too much to unpack here that he didn't have the gall to do in front of her. He hadn't even unpacked it himself, so tightly coiled up it was inside of him, although the answer was probably freaking obvious.

After five painful seconds, Seifer cleared his throat and attempted to sound nonchalant.

"Uh, Trepe?"

"Mmm?" She didn't look up, focused on rubbing his calf.

"Cushion. Please."

"What?"

Seifer clenched his teeth, wondering why she was being so difficult. "Give me a cushion now," he repeated, enunciating each word.

"A cushion? Oh, haha," said Quistis sarcastically, eyes still trained on his thigh. "You're going to take a nap, is that right?"

"For Hyne's - no. Just give me a cushion, will you?"

Finally she looked up at him, irritation on her brow, before her eyes dropped down to where his hands were covering his crotch. "But why - oh!" Quistis let out a muffled scream and shot up instantly, and Seifer wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh at her or die on the spot. She scurried back, her cheeks pink, and fumbled for one of her pillows. "Um, okay. Here."

Without looking at him, Quistis thrust out a cushion, but he didn't take it. She peeked round at him, "What?"

Seifer cringed, both hands still covering himself. "On second thoughts, it's your cushion…"

"I don't care, I'll just wash it or something, just cover yourself," she blurted out, growing redder and practically pegging the pillow into his face.

Seifer wasn't an easily embarrassed person, he reflected as he took the pillow and deftly replaced the job his hands had been executing, but this had to make top three most mortifying moments of his life, right up there when he was eleven and Raijin barged in on him experimentally shaving his pubes.

Quistis was still turned away from him as she asked tentatively, "...Do you want me to stop?"

Great, now she thinks you're just some horndog Trepie keen to hump anything that moves. He let out a breath and grunted, "Just… give me a second." When he was sure he'd finally got a grip on himself, Seifer muttered, "Okay. You can keep going."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Well, only if you want to. I'm surprised you're still offering."

Quistis' cheeks weren't quite so red anymore as she turned back to him, carefully keeping her eyes averted from her cushion that was now lying across his lap. She resumed the massaging without looking at him.

"It's okay, you know," she murmured after a moment. "It's a natural thing to happen."

Seifer glanced at her but she was still avoiding his gaze. "Well, geez, thanks, mum. Do you think I'm ten or something?" he quipped, choosing to cover humiliation with scorn.

"I'm just saying, there's no need to be embarrassed or anything. I know it can happen randomly." Quistis' voice dropped to almost a whisper. "It doesn't mean anything."

Seifer frowned at this, his mouth open to retort, but then he clamped it shut. Why is she so quick to dismiss anything that might even remotely suggest some kinda attraction? he thought, annoyed. Why is she so damn down on herself?

Several minutes crept by as Quistis continued her ministrations. She finally broke the silence, nodding her head to a large gash on his upper thigh.

"You have a scar here."

Seifer shrugged. "Yeah."

"That's one caused by magic. You didn't use a Cure?"

He set his jaw before responding darkly, "She didn't like it when I failed. A reminder to do better."

Quistis' hands faltered, but her voice was steady as she replied, "You didn't deserve that." She paused, and rephrased quietly, "You don't deserve that."

Seifer cast her a sideways look. "Does that peppy self-esteem crap ever work?"

Her mouth twitched. "Is it working on you?"

Seifer found he couldn't answer, but her knowing smile told him she knew it already. And he realised he didn't mind. Strange, as the thought of showing any kind of vulnerability was once repulsive to him, akin to a dragon flipping around to expose his belly.

His eyes trailed over her arms and neck, bared by the shirt she was wearing. "You're unmarked," he observed with slight disdain. "Must be your Blue Magic powers."

"Not much of my Blue Magic heals."

"But you're quick with the spells."

"It helps when you're not fighting alone," she said sagely, and these simple words accentuated so much of what had happened between them, and how different their experiences had been, that Seifer had no response.

Sensing his quiet reprieve, Quistis glanced up at him and stopped her massaging. He furrowed his brows at her. She appeared to be steeling herself to do something. Then, she pulled up her shirt and revealed her upper stomach. Seifer sucked in a breath, but any initial flare of excitementwas immediately extinguished when he saw the pink mark running across her skin.

"I have a scar here," she said, dropping her shirt back over it.

"What's that from?"

"One of my first battles." Quistis screwed the lid back on the tiger balm, signifying that she was done. "I think I was twelve. I was on my own. A T-Rex."

Seifer swore, shaking his head. "You're - "

"Lucky to be alive?" finished Quistis, unfazed. "Yes, that's what Dr Kadowaki told me."

He took a moment to regroup. "Yeah, well, scars are cool," Seifer remarked with a return to his cavalier tone. "Case in point." He jabbed at the one on his forehead unnecessarily and she bit back a smile. "Good story to tell. Although if you don't want to talk about it, it's probably good that no one can see it."

Quistis gazed at him solemnly, giving him the impression she could see right through him. "We all carry scars," she said quietly. "Some of us carry them well enough that they're hidden."

Seifer arched an eyebrow at her. "Sounds mysterious."

"I like to remind myself about that about everyone," she said pensively. She was still sitting in front of him on a stool while he sat on the sofa, and he quite liked the look of her there, not hurried or business-like or occupied by a task, but simply engaged in a conversation with him. "I used to be so in my own head about everyone's judgments, then I realised everyone's fighting their own battles. Helps you to empathise with them."

Seifer huffed, looking to the side. "Some people don't deserve empathy," he muttered.

"Oh yeah? Who are you thinking of?"

He didn't answer, choosing to sit there broodingly, and Quistis spoke in a gentle yet firm voice. "There's good in everyone, Seifer. Everyone deserves a chance to be understood."

He scoffed, folding his arms. "I don't believe that."

"What do you believe?" she challenged him.

"Every man's out for themselves, ain't they? You can delude yourself that you're helping others, but you're really just doing it to make yourself feel good. It's all selfish in the end. Don't think for a moment that we're any different from animals, Trepe. War and suffering makes that obvious. All our nice little facades and structures come crumbling down, and we'll eat our own kid to survive."

Quistis listened to this with a measured expression, and it was a moment before she replied, in a slow careful voice, "There might be some truth in the selfishness of all people, but I also believe there's goodness too."

"Right," said Seifer incredulously. "Then name something good about everyone in the group. You've got one minute."

He was being childish, he knew, but as much as he was sure of that, he also knew she would do it. And true to predictable Quistis, she did. She sat there for several seconds, eyes glazed in thought as she placed one finger on her chin.

"Hmm. Irvine brings everyone together. He might seem casual and shallow at first, but he cares deeply. Zell is very loyal. He'll punch anyone against you and ask questions later, even if you're in the wrong."

Punch first, ask later. Yeah, sounds about right. It's what I'd do too.

"Selphie is forgiving," Quistis continued. "She doesn't hold a grudge, no matter how badly you've hurt her."

Fair assessment, Seifer thought. Along with 'caffeine-infused hamster on a wheel'.

"Squall - "

"Ugh, I don't think I need to hear anything more about Balamb's Golden Boy," said Seifer disparagingly, waving his hand, but Quistis spoke on as if she didn't hear him.

"Squall will always, quietly have your back. He won't ask anything from you. He won't ask you to owe him."

Begrudgingly, Seifer had to admit, Quistis was good at this. Everything was accurate without being waffly or so sweet it would give him a cavity.

"Rinoa doesn't care about showing her flaws and fears. She isn't afraid to be in the moment. She cries, she yells, she laughs, she hugs and she loves as she feels. I've… always admired that about her."

"Can get old real fast, let me tell ya," Seifer shook his head, but had to add fairly, "She's a good girl, though."

"And you, Seifer - "

His stomach leapt up nervously and he blinked in alarm. "Whoa, I didn't ask for this to be about me."

" - you're good at fighting," Quistis finished peaceably, tilting her head at him.

In spite of himself, Seifer bristled. "What? That's it?" he exclaimed hotly, before realising, too late, that she was trying not to laugh. He snapped his mouth shut, immediately regretting his little outburst.

Quistis looked at him sincerely, eyes still glimmering with humour. "You are honest, Seifer," she said. "Perhaps to a fault, but it makes you earnest and forthcoming. I think anyone would feel better knowing you stand by them. You remind me of that quote… don't make yourself small to make someone else feel comfortable."

Seifer found himself rather speechless, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He wasn't sure how to respond. How was it possible to feel so violated and flattered at the same time?

He cleared his throat, saying in an attempt at his usual disdainful manner, "Gee. You'll be telling me there's some inherent value in roaches next."

"But there is," replied Quistis seriously. "They play a valuable role in breaking down organic matter in our ecosystem."

Seifer just gawked at her.

Quistis looked back at him, clearly very pleased with herself. "See? Good in everyone. I win." She stood up as if this settled the matter, walking back to her drawers to replace the balm.

Seifer stayed on the couch, staring at the ground for a couple of seconds. "You missed someone," he finally said.

She pivoted on the spot. "Who?"

He looked right up at her. "Yourself."

Unease crept into her expression, apparent in the way she folded her arms across her chest. "It's immodest to talk about the good things about yourself," Quistis said stiffly.

"Immodest my ass," snorted Seifer, standing up and gingerly stretching out his leg. All in good working order. Huh. Maybe that voodoo balm does work. "It's healthy self-esteem, that's what."

She didn't say anything, her mouth tight and wary.

"Besides," continued Seifer, enjoying his moment of being the one to analyse and probe. "That's not the reason why you won't say it."

Quistis spared him a withering look. "Do you think you know me that well, Seifer?"

"Well enough to know that you don't think there is anything good to say." He watched her carefully, saw the way she dropped her gaze and held herself tighter. He smiled triumphantly, "I'm not wrong, am I?"

There was silence, and the longer it stretched on, the more his smugness and jest leaked away. Does she really not see…?

"Why is that, Trepe?" he demanded, genuinely baffled. "How is it that you can think of something positive about everyone else - bloody Chicken-wuss, cockroaches… me… and yet you can't even think of something for yourself?"

She bit her lip. "I…"

"I'll give you a hand, shall I?"

Quistis remained still, arms still folded tightly over her chest. She found herself very nervous all of a sudden. What on earth would Seifer say? She realised in dismay that she actually cared, and that care meant she had just opened herself up to inevitable hurt. At the hands of Seifer Almasy.

But to her utter disbelief, the look on his face wasn't mirthful or sly. It was oddly thoughtful and soft.

"You're smart as hell," he began. "You're a good teacher."

"I am?" she said incredulously.

"Better than Aki."

"I thought I was mediocre," she said resentfully.

"Who the hell said that?"

She just Looked at him and he bit back a snigger.

"You don't need to humour me, Seifer," Quistis sighed, dropping her arms and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I have a healthy sense of self-esteem without your lending hand, thank you."

Seifer looked thoroughly unconvinced. "I doubt it."

She frowned at him. "Excuse me?"

"You spend a lot of time thinking of others but never yourself. You also worry way too much about what others think of you," he said contritely. "You're scared that something you say or do might scare them away. You're always on guard for that to happen."

The irritation vanished from her face, replaced by one of surprise.

"But you shouldn't. You don't really take anyone's crap when it comes to your face - not even mine. I respect that. So stop agonising over it in your head. More good points?" Seifer mimed ticking off a list with his fingers. "You're freaking strong. And scarily precise. I wouldn't mess with you and that bloody whip."

"But that's it, isn't it?" she said bitterly before she could stop herself. "It's not like I'm desirable or anything like that."

Seifer's mouth went very dry. Quistis stood there mere feet away from him, her countenance both fierce and vulnerable at the same time. Her hair wasn't as perfect as usual and she was dressed in that tight yoga clothing that left little to the imagination, her face flushed and eyes alight as if she wanted to claw at him or plead for help - it was hard to tell.

Ah, figs. Why is she asking this?

"You're…" he swallowed in what he hoped was a very discreet manner, "…not bad to look at."

She scoffed, clearly thinking he was being sarcastic. Her infuriating self-doubt caused a wave of indignation in Seifer and before he knew it, he was blurting out words. Too many words.

"For Hyne's sake, Trepe, we've been through this before," he snapped. "You have a whole fan club salivating after you. Need I elaborate? You're obviously attractive. Gorgeous. Beautiful."

Oh shoot, the words weren't stopping. The suddenly surprised look on Quistis' face should have been a signal to shut his trap, but he was still heated and had to tell her now, and like an idiot he continued his barrage, looking her straight in the eyes.

"But more importantly, you're patient. You're compassionate. You give screw-ups a second chance. You're all mushy and caring but you cover it up with your bossy as hell attitude. Honestly, I think you're - "

And then his mind caught up with his senses and Seifer broke off abruptly, snapping his jaw together. Ah, geez.

Then without any warning, he turned on his heel, pressed the panel button and walked out of the room.

Quistis was completely flabbergasted, her heart pounding in her ears. What… just happened? Where is he going?

What the hell was that? Seifer cursed himself as he strode furiously away from Quistis and her stuffy room. He yanked irritably at his collar. Had she cranked up the heating or something? Why the heck had it been so hot in there?

"Wait!"

Crap. Crapcrapcrap, go away. Don't follow me.

"Seifer!"

He whirled around suddenly, glaring, so that she almost ran into him. Quistis gasped and steadied herself. She looked at him uncertainly, meeting his disgruntled demeanour.

"Why did you walk away like that?" she demanded.

To save the scraps of my dignity. "To… spare us from embarrassment," said Seifer stiffly.

Quistis furrowed a brow. "Were you embarrassed?" She felt a bit annoyed at that. Was admitting that he found certain qualities about her attractive that shameful?

"Were you not?" was his rejoinder.

"I don't think paying someone a compliment is embarrassing at all," she replied ruefully. "It takes honesty and courage."

Hyne, she's oblivious.

"Right," he said roughly, resisting the urge to slap his forehead. "Paying you a compliment. That's what I was doing."

She wrinkled her nose. What was up with him? Quistis didn't understand Seifer and his mood swings sometimes.

"Seems like it's a difficult thing for you to do," she said quietly.

Yeah, but that says more about me than it does you. Thankfully this thought did not escape his mouth.

Stupid mouth. Stop talking.

Seifer cleared his throat loudly. "To clear the air, Trepe… you've got good points too. Plenty of 'em. You should be kinder to yourself. You're not some imposter. So we'll just leave it at that, eh?" And never speak of this again.

Quistis blinked. Seifer stood there in front of her, tired and wary, his mouth turned into that downward line it did when he was annoyed.

How did he do this? How did he say these things that went straight to her heart? It was downright disarming.

"Alright. Um…" Quistis looked around, unsure of what to say. Then she cleared her throat, "Good night."

He flicked his green eyes back up to her, clearly still chagrined although she didn't know why. "Good night."

"Seifer?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you."