Chapter Title: It'll Get Better

Series Title: Unlikely Brothers

Ages in this chapter: Tanner (10), Dashen (16)

POV: Dashen

Chapter Summary: During recovery from an injury, Dashen is frustrated.


"I swear I hate my life. Every damn day I hate my life. This stupid recovery, the stupid pain, the stupid backward progress. This stupid cane and the stupid exercises. Stupid everything. UGH! STUPID LIFE!"

I'd finished my rant. Probably meaning most of it, though in reality, I didn't really hate everything in my life. For instance, I didn't hate the kid who was wrapping his arms around me right now after my rant.

Nope, no one could hate this kid.

"It'll get better, Dash."

I knew that. Didn't make it any better right now, but I knew. Constant pain, barely enough forward progress to make a dent. Spent my days laying around, having to rely on others. I didn't rely on others as a natural thing. My nature was the exact opposite. It was me to look after them, that's who I was. This other way around crap? No no no no and no! And the stupid pain, the stupid pain, the stupid PAIN! Damn it!

"It'll be all right, Dash. It will. I'm here with you."

Tanner wouldn't relent. Not when it came to me. I was so frustrated and beaten down and… I knew this spiral. Knew it well. Once I fall into it, it takes a miracle to get me out. Tanner was trying to keep me out of the such a spiral.

He hugged me tight, refusing to let go. He sat with me later, curled next to me on my bed, made me breakfast. He hugged me again and again and again until I swear I had dents in my neck from the pressure of his arms. What the hell had I ever done in my crap-hole of a life to deserve this kid?

He never asked me how I felt. He knew. Nor did he ask me how I was. He knew that too. He simply told me that everything would be okay and that he would be with me. Was this what I needed to feel less like crap?

This kid made me feel less like crap.

"Love you, Dash."

That was the thing about Tanner. How he felt, he told you. There was never any guessing or thought about where you fit into his life. His circle was his circle. If you were in it, you were the lucky one.

"Love you back, Mouse." My face was buried in his small shoulder so maybe he didn't hear anything more than a muffled sound, but he would know my response. Pretty sure I busted into tears after that too. I was that beaten and worn out after months of physical pain and a mental rehab.

What happened after, I wasn't sure, because I woke up in my bed. My sleep clothes were on me and that hadn't been the case before I'd blanked out. No way had the kid carried me to the bed by himself. He was small and his Force abilities didn't yet include lifting and moving fully grown humans.

When I woke up, there were two sets of eyes on me. One set, pale brown, those of a ten year old former Jedi. The other set, crystal clear blue, those of a criminal kingpin. What an odd life I lived.

Tanner and Colton, bedside. That at least explained how I got to the bed. Colton was the size of a bantha (well, compared to Tanner he was), so lifting my tall lanky form wasn't a problem.

Tanner immediately hugged me again once I'd met his eyes. Stupid misty emotions. I was so tired of being everything that was wrong with me, one thing compounded on another from the time my parents died. Then Kossi. Then this and that and everything else. How much was too much for one trauma stricken sixteen year old?

My brother, Tanner, he loved me regardless and made sure I knew.

"Idiot. If you'd just let him take care of you and stop trying to be what you can't be at the moment, it would be so much easier." Colton, and his unmistakable baritone voice just telling it like it was. "Let the kid do what he does. He's pretty good at making sure you don't fall into a pit of despair."

Colton spoke as I was having the blood squeezed out of me by my brother. Fake brother technically, but not really. Not anymore. I closed my eyes to acknowledge the big man's words. He was right, as he tended to be. I was just too boneheaded-stubborn to get it. And of course the constant pain I'd been in for over two months certainly didn't help. It's all I'd been able to think of.

So when Tanner relented the hug and crawled into my bed to curl up next to me, something inside me snapped into place. This was exactly how Kossi used to make me feel better about myself. Kossi, my lost brother of blood, he had this sense about him and knew exactly what I needed. Much like Tanner. Kossi would snuggle next to me and the world would be okay. Apparently, Tanner had that same power.

I relaxed, turning to my side and settling arms around his compact form. His head nuzzled into my chest. Stupid emotions made me cry again. This time not for myself, but in remembering the almost identical actions by Kossi during the eight years I'd been privileged to be his big brother. Never could get over how alike Tanner and Kossi were. The air about them, their love of life, their ability to make people feel better. Unique qualities that were rare in anyone these days.

"Hate to say I told you so, Dash, but…" Colton said, motioning toward us with his hands and a raised brow. "Just let him care about you and for stars sake, kid, ask for help when you need it. Stubborn idiot. Tannerlin is here. I am here. If we wanted you to deal with this on your own, we'd have left months ago."

He wasn't wrong. Technically none of us held anything over the other. There was no relation, just a weirdly necessary bond that kept us together for whatever reason. The three of us were meant to find each other and we had. Now I had to accept that I was the one in need and that these two were the ones who would be there for me.

I nodded and accepted Colton's easy touch to my shoulder before he left the room. My grasp tightened around my brother.

"It's okay, Dash. Me and Colton will take care of you."

They would. I just had to be the one to accept it and that was the most difficult part of all of this. Changing who I was, accepting help instead of giving it. Not forever. Not for long. Just until I was back on my feet and able to take up that mantle again.

Tanner snuggled in tighter as if that was even possible. My chin rested on his head and I let my eyes close. If I thought about it too much, I'd imagine Kossi here with me now. I missed that kid so damned much. Every ounce of every fiber inside my being missed him every second of every day. But he was gone. Had been for almost four years. He would want me to let my friends look after me. In fact, he'd insist on it.

"I really miss Kossi, Mouse. So much. It's part of my problem."

"Nah," Tanner said muffled. "Missing your baby brother isn't any part of your problem. It's part of what makes you such a good big brother. It's part of what makes you so hardheaded to accept help. I miss Master Ayden too. All the time. My heart hurts just thinking of it."

There it was, me and my issues, and I'd not even given a shred of thought to what this kid was missing. I mean, I had in the past, before all this stupid pain and recovery stuff. But lately, I'd been so focused on me, hell, this kid was only ten. Barely a year removed from his life being shattered forever. Taking care of me, it would maybe allow him deal with some of that still-present pain.

"One day, Mouse, you'll have to tell me more stories about him," I encouraged. He'd told me some, enough to know that Ayden Yen was a good and decent guy. It had barely been enough to scratch the surface of a full-on Master Jedi.

"And you can tell me more about Kossi." He echoed back. "We can help each other like we always do. But now I help you and you accept that it's okay. Then you'll get better." His head pulled away from my chest so I could see the commitment in his pale brown eyes. "Okay?"

I locked his eyes with mine. "Okay." I agreed. Then I tucked him back to me and fell into a comfortable sleep.

It wasn't a pain free sleep from a physical standpoint. Every time I moved that stupid leg, it hurt. Yet, somehow it was just a bit less painful than before.

In time, like Tanner said, it would get better.


END