This is a story that primarily follows Natsu Dragneel and Lucy Heartfilia past the conclusion of the Tartaros arc. Written for nalu4emily & dragonballwish - Dragon Rage can also be found over on AO3/Archive of Our Own!
Dedicated to: Aspartame Boy and Angel.
Thank you to everybody for your kind comments, favorites, and support, I appreciate it!
Summary: The guild begins to move on with their lives following the disbandment of Fairy Tail. Coming to terms with Levy's views, Lucy heads home and experiences firsthand the darkness beginning to take control of Natsu.
Chapter 3: Scattered
As the remains of the once lively guild disappeared from his sight, he thought about where he should go. To his and Happy's home? The hill where he and Lisanna grew up and enjoyed life back as children? Maybe the food markets? As much as that last thought piqued his interest and rattled his hunger, the dilemma at hand made him forget about his desire for food. Instead of fleeing into the forest, like he originally planned, Natsu soon found himself approaching a certain someone's apartment. It wasn't very long until he arrived at the building he had come to cherish and easily broke in, or well more like climbed through her window. He looked around. The state was the exact same way she had left it prior to the beginning of the war.
The dragon slayer smiled and he adventured through her various rooms, as he had done plenty of times before. Even though the apartment had gone untouched his life and everything he once knew had been touched. It was better to say it had been changed. He couldn't help but think back to before the ambush. Before they had been forced to fight a dark guild full of demons in order to save magic and to save their own lives. Without meaning to, his mind wondered to the scene of watching the two dragons duel in the sky... back then being unaware of the end result.
Back when finding dad was still my goal. Back when the guild was still together.
Fairy Tail had been officially disbanded only half an hour ago, and yet to the fire wizard it seemed like days had gone by. His emotions had gotten the best of him, he knew it entirely. At the same time, however he refused to yield and give in like those around him. The people he knew, he would even dare say once knew, were leaving their family behind. He couldn't wrap his thoughts around why something so special could be forgotten so easily.
Did our time together mean nothing to them?
He glared at nothing in particular and sat down on his best friend's couch, muttering incoherently curses under his breath. He needed someone by his side, even though he would never admit that out loud. Igneel's death had crushed him and the addition of the guild's disbandment had further increased his misery. The only person who seemed to understand him, without needing to voice his issues, was the very woman whose apartment he currently occupied himself in.
Natsu released a smile within the shadowy confines of Lucy's living room as he thought back to when they were on the Cube. The way she held onto him, her soothing words, and careful touch. It meant the world to him to know that, despite their mini argument, she would never leave him. She stated time and time again that Celestial wizards never broke their promises and so he would hold her to that.
Because if you were to leave me too Luce... I don't know what might just happen.
Since his father's passing he felt himself slowly losing control. Natsu didn't understand why this was happening, but the authority he once held over his power... it was beginning to consume him. Without meaning to his right hand caught fire and he rapidly snuffed his flaming fist before it could begin burning the armrest. Lucy definitely would not be pleased if she returned and saw he had incinerated a piece of her furniture. He imagined her frowning at him as she chastised him for breaking into her place, for the hundredth time or so. Her frown morphed into a different expression and the scenery changed. He found himself back on Tenrou Island.
They had encountered mages of the dark guild Grimoire Heart. Teaming up they faced off against their foe, but had run into complications due to a doll that had the power to alter one's movements. Trapped under rocks he hollered for his best friend to get out of there while she still could. Lucy had been beaten down into the dirt but as their opponent lifted her head up for him to see... her smile and words had been forever marked into his memory.
"I'd never leave you guys behind, because it's always more fun when we're together!"
Yeah... it always is more fun together.
Fatigue caught up to him and Natsu let go of his worries, if only for a few hours, as he drifted off into a snoring slumber that involved a blue cat and his blonde-haired princess.
Lucy felt she had an idea where the fire dragon slayer ran off to. She desperately wanted to chase after him, but the growing uncertainty within forced her to stay put. She didn't smile for the rest of the time that she remained there as members and her friends began to part ways and say goodbye. Like her troubled partner, Lucy was also frustrated with the guild splitting up. These people had become like her family and the guild had become her second home after she fled from her true one. Now they all were packing up and setting out for a new adventure. One that did not have her apart of it.
She knew she was thinking selfishly, but could you really blame her? Her best friend was slipping out of her grasp and the loss of her closest childhood friend was beginning to wear her emotional barriers down.
"Lu, are you alright?" The blonde was pulled from her mind as someone who meant the most to her, outside of her teammates, gently held her hands. The bluenette looked quite sad as she could always read her friend like an open book. Maybe she was.
"I'm okay, Levy." Lucy finally answered after a few seconds of silence. "Just kind of hard to take everything in, you know?"
"It's reasonable to be upset." Levy began as she again hugged her friend. "I'm upset about Master's decision too, but what else can we do? We're wizards and a mage with no guild basically has no future."
"Independents seem to be doing fine..." She muttered, thinking about a blue-haired fugitive and his somewhat illegal bunch.
"Well, you have a point there but you know what I mean. Fairy Tail has always been a continuous journey, but those eventually end, right?" She saw her friend nod slowly. "So, like Master told Natsu... it's time to let it go Lucy Heartfilia." Levy rarely used her full name, so that definitely got her eyes to widen some.
"You're really just going to leave this all behind?" Lucy asked incredulously as she backed away from her friend's reach. Levy sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.
"You of all people should know that deep down Lu, I don't want to walk away from all that we've made here. Unfortunately for us though we have nowhere else to go. Cana stated it perfectly. We still have lives to live. We need to find work, go on jobs, make a living, so we can survive. Magnolia no longer can provide that to us at this time."
"It can though! We just have to figure it out and-" Lucy started up, before shutting down just as fast. Her voice dying as realization reached her. Her friend was right, with Fairy Tail being no more... what exactly could they offer here?
"I'm glad you're seeing the other side, Lucy." Levy smiled before dropping her voice to a whisper. "You and Natsu are right though. Abandoning our home is wrong... I hope that one day we can all be reunited again."
"Yeah, me too..." Lucy responded distractedly and she felt herself become dazed.
"I'm going to head out now to get all my stuff together. Feel free to stop by Fairy Hills any time these last few days Lu. I'll be there if you need me!" Levy started as she turned on her heel and departed. Lucy absently nodded. She found an open makeshift seat and sat there while looking up into the sky.
Why is this happening?
By the time she was walking back to her apartment, it was close to midnight. She had said her final goodbyes to most members and agreed with Erza that two nights from now she and a few other girls would have one last sleepover before they all dispersed. She was grateful for the redhead's offer as it give her a little boost of momentum to keep pushing onwards.
Fumbling with her keys, Lucy finally held the one that would unlock her front door. Twisting it and hearing the lock click she placed her hand along the wooden surface and shoved it open. Walking in she bypassed her kitchen and entered the living room. Lucy couldn't hold back the grin that appeared at the amusing sight. Sprawled about on her couch sleepily was the pink-haired dragon slayer that had captured her heart. For once he looked at peace as he continued to snooze the night away.
Carefully, making sure to not disturb him, she began to walk by him... before something latched onto her hand and tugged her backwards.
"Eh?" She let out a little shriek as she landed on the couch and peered into eyes black as the night, ones that were now fully awake and alive. "N-Natsu?" She stuttered as his gaze paralyzed her in place. "You're awake?"
"How did things at the guild go?" He asked quietly, ignoring her question. Stunned by his actions Lucy replied the best she could and relayed him some of her talks with their friends. Finishing the recap her cheeks turned crimson once she noticed their current position. Natsu didn't seem to mind, considering he was the one who established it after all.
"So... Fairy Tail really is over, huh?" He summarized, simultaneously recalling Makarov's words.
Yeah right... how the hell is destroying our family and everything we love for the best? What is wrong with you Gramps!
Lucy, although not knowing what exactly the tirade going on his mind in that moment was all about, could see his distress and wanted to ease his pain. She took one hand and placed it against his scarred cheek while she ran the other through his thick, spiky locks. Her plan seemed to work as his anger subsided and he relaxed immedaitely against her touch. Natsu was unfamiliar with the feelings fluttering about inside, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't beginning to enjoy the strange warmth. It was like his fire. It was comforting.
"What do you plan on doing, Natsu?" Her speech brought him back into the present and he glanced at her curiously. "Now that the guild is no more and everyone is leaving Magnolia, what do you plan to do?" She repeated.
Lucy's sudden question froze him as if Gray had encased him in a block of ice. He knew all along what he was going to do the moment he said farewell to the fire dragon king.
"I have to become stronger. So when I lay eyes on Acnologia... I can tear him to shreds." He bitterly announced as a malicious grin briefly adorned his features and disappeared.
She flinched, the coldness from his statement slightly frightening her as he took notice and apologized for startling her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you. To answer the question truthfully I was planning on going on a little training session with Happy." He revealed before he perked up after having an idea form. "Seeing the guild is gone, at least for the foreseeable future, do you want to tag along?"
"Really?"
"Sure I don't mind having you with us!"
In that moment he looked like the happiest man in the world. You never would of known that his father had been murdered the night before or that his dreams had been crushed within seconds of that fatal blow. She thought of the possibilities of what being alone with the dragon slayer could lead to. Her own dreams could be satisfied. But she wouldn't do that to him. Lucy didn't want him going after the Black Dragon, it was basically suicide to face Acnologia, but if she went with him she knew she would only get in his way. The blonde didn't want to burden him with anymore trouble. He had enough as it is and she was concerned also about his mental state. It was like his personality was changing. Like he was becoming a different person entirely.
"Natsu! I'd love to, but..." Lucy's words trailed off.
The look in his eyes from before, it scared her. She wasn't afraid of Natsu, definitely not. What was beginning to terrify her was the darkness spiraling around him. If Lucy hadn't noticed it before she certainly did now. His irises were somehow becoming darker almost like they were turning into black holes. Full of emptiness and devoid of life. The dragon slayer looked at her quizzically wondering why she stopped speaking.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing! I just thought maybe it's better for you to go by yourself on this trip. Well, obviously you'll have Happy with you!" She added in afterthought.
"You don't want to go with me?" Natsu spoke, frowning. Seeing his hurt expression Lucy quickly made sure to explain her reasoning.
"Like I told you Natsu, I would love to go with you and Happy on this little training trip of yours. But I think it would be better for you if you went and... you know, figured things out."
"Figure what out, Luce?" He asked as the blonde finally rose up and got off of him, ignoring his quiet protests. Lucy turned her back to him and she struggled to avoid facing him. Guilt was eating her alive, but she knew whatever was happening with her best friend's condition was worsening and becoming dangerous. The worst part of all is that she had no idea how to help him fight it.
"Y-You." Lucy hesitantly spoke, feeling his presence directly behind her. His hands wrapped around her slim figure and her resolve wavered. She wanted to lean back into his arms and enjoy his embrace but knew they had to settle this. She had to assist him in overcoming whatever it was that was trying to take him from her.
"Why am I losing you, Natsu?" She heard him hum in confusion. "You lost Igneel, then the guild, so why does it feel like you're slipping away too?" She pleaded with worry as he let go of her and stepped back. Almost if she had somehow burned him. His actions caused her to finally whip around. Lucy stared at the conflicted mage full of concern.
"What are you talking about, Luce? I'm perfectly alright." He tried managing, but even he heard the enthusiasm in his voice flicker.
"Stop it!" She suddenly shouted and began to shake uncontrollably. "Stop acting like you're fine, Natsu! Can't you see I know how much pain you're in? You're practically drowning in it!" She yelled as he rolled his eyes, fueling her frustration with him even further. "Don't give me that you idiot! I'm just trying to be there for you! I know losing Igneel and the guild has been hard on you. Please, stop shutting me out. I just want to help you!"
Lucy glared at him, but only momentarily, as her breath had been taken away. His eyes, that she swore steadily had turned darker, were now pitch black with a single red dot shining in the center.
"N-Natsu?"
"Why do you constantly act like you know my suffering!" The dragon slayer furiously roared as he cornered the terrified blonde and backed her against the wall. "You don't know what it's like to search for someone your entire life... and than have them be ripped away from you... unable to do anything to prevent it!"
"I-I do" She tried to reply back before he roughly grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head.
"Igneel meant everything to me! Acnologia killed him and now he's gone!"
"I'm sorry Natsu-" She attempted, but he interrupted her after just those three words.
"You told me Fairy Tail would always be there for me... and now they're gone!" The red glint in his eyes glowed as his eyes became ablaze. He held her frightened expression evenly with his fragile one. "You told me you would never leave! I offered you to come with me and instead you turn me away and tell me to fix myself?" He laughed hysterically as his corrupted mind began taking over him fully.
"I-I didn't mean it like that." She countered quietly waiting to see if his temper had run its course. His next actions though made it clear something was definitely wrong with her friend. He drew his lips closer to her as he whispered words that burned themselves into her mind forever.
"What more did you lose in the war Luce? How can you understand my pain when you didn't lose anybody like Ign-" His outburst was interrupted as Lucy heard enough and raised her knee, slamming it directly into his stomach. He released her as he bent over in agony before growing more upset and looking back up at her enraged.
"Don't even speak, Natsu Dragneel!" She yelled in retaliation, vowing to break hold whatever sorcery had sunk its teeth in him. Lucy approached and smacked him so hard he went falling backwards. She used this to advantage and applied her weight, using it to hold him down in order to try and subdue the evilness that had revealed itself. Finally succumbing to tears, she began to bawl her eyes out as she shouted at the foolish slayer below.
"I lost more than you could of imagined! I had to shatter someone special to me in order to save the guild... to save you!" She revealed as she buried her face in his chest and sobbed. Unknowingly, the red in the dragon slayer's eyes faded away as he began to regain control of himself. "It was the hardest thing in the world! I didn't want to do it, but she practically forced me too! It was the only way I could summon the King and give us a chance, Natsu..."
He eventually became fully aware of his surroundings as the strange power that had taken advantage of him had been erased, for now. Natsu listened closely to her story learning about the truth of the sacrifice.
"You may not entirely get it, but I understand your aching heart more then you realize! Aquarius gave herself up to help free you all so we could beat down Tartaros and Igneel gave the last of his life protecting us all from Acnologia. We both lost someone special to us that night."
He gingerly wrapped his arms around the blonde, still above him, as he held her closely. He let her express the sadness she had hidden from them all this entire time. He was angry, at so many different things, but none more in that moment than himself.
How could you be so stupid! You're supposed to protect her. Not terrify her and... turn into some sort of monster.
Natsu didn't know if it was dragon instincts awakening inside him or what. Igneel had briefly explained to him that one of the main reasons the fire dragon had laid dormant in him was to prevent the pinkette from turning into a beast like him.
Could he have failed?
He didn't like pondering thoughts like those, but couldn't help but be worried at this mysterious power that was threatening everything he held dear. Lucy was right. He needed to figure himself out and resolve whatever it was that was wrong with him.
"Natsu?" Her soft and fragile voice called out to him, but he refused to answer. He didn't want to speak, fearing he would only worsen the situation. Still, he wanted to let her know he was there for her and so he tightened his hold on her. He didn't trust himself anymore. At least not after whatever lead him to see red in those brief couple of minutes.
"P-Please, please Natsu... say something." Lucy once more pleaded with him. After raising up slightly, she was thrilled to no longer see the red glint in his eyes. "Tell me everything will be alright. That you'll be alright." She whispered as she caressed his talon sliced cheek, the same one from before. Finally, after choosing his words thoroughly, Natsu spoke at last.
"I don't want to promise you something... that I may not be able to keep Luce."
His campfire-like scent had long vanished into the night and she sat on her bed, alone. After some time being snuggled up together on the floor they had gotten up and went to her bedroom. She was surprised when, instead of sliding into her bed like she figured he would, he went for the window.
"Natsu, where are you going?" She called out.
"To get Happy. I'm going to leave in the morning." He answered as he opened the window, but felt himself dragged back to her side forcefully.
"What I said back there... I'm sorry Natsu." She whispered into his ear and could feel more waterworks approaching.
"Please don't cry Luce, you know I hate it when you do that." He frowned and she tried to fight the tears back. Just for him.
"I can't help it... I don't want you to go!" Lucy revealed and heard a light chuckle from up against her.
"You were right. I need to figure out whatever strange power this is. So I can protect you and the rest of our family once we all get back together." He expressed and continued to hold her in his arms, inhaling her lavender scent one last time. He felt her tears land on his shoulder and mentally kicked himself for making her cry again.
Way to go moron.
"Come back strong, kay?" She asked while trying to remain that very thing herself.
"I'll be back before you know it Luce."
They finally broke apart and Lucy watched him slip out the window - and into the night. His suffering and dark aura had petrified her for a few minutes, but she had been able to break through to him.
Be safe Natsu. I'll see you soon.
Only she never would of imagined the length her best friend decided to disappear for... or the road of loneliness ahead of her once everyone finally scattered.
A/N: I hope both Natsu and Lucy feel somewhat still in character here to you all. I really wanted to portray this chapter as one where the death of Igneel and destruction of Fairy Tail really begins to affect the fire dragon slayer and the darkness that is controlling him.
At this point in the Fairy Tail series, Lucy has had her own triumphs and defeats... which is why I like to view her as a stronger character in this scene. Obviously she is emotionally drained from the loss of Aquarius and the guild's disbandment, but she is still mentally there and can hold her own.
So, Natsu and Happy are journeying out into the unknown to train and to try and quell the mysterious force within. This next chapter is going to be more of a recollection between Natsu and Igneel as the dragon slayer attempts to move on and focus on the future. It will be out on New Year's Eve/the 31st. Hope you enjoyed!
Up Next: Chapter 4 - Remembrance
