Kenichi: How is the most beautiful person in the world?

Neptune: *blushing* I—

Shotaro, butting into the conversation: Noire is perfect, thanks for asking.

Shotaro: What are you getting Kenichi for the holidays?

Neptune: I don't know. It's kind of hard buying a gift for your partner when they already got everything they could've ever wanted when they married you. So I'm not sure yet.

Noire: I'm getting Kenichi a divorce lawyer.

Kenichi: What's up with Shotaro? He's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?

Fusako: He's just a little overwhelmed.

Kenichi: Why?

Fusako: Noire smiled at him.

Nagato: We call that a traumatic experience.

Nagato, turning to 5pb: Not a "bruh moment".

Nagato, turning to Neptune: Not "sadge".

Nagato, turning to Vert: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Uni: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Garrison: Killed without hesitation.

Setsuka: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Lance: You sleep with a teddybear.

Setsuka: HE'S MY SECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Hitomi to Nepgear: First rule of battle, little one... don't ever let them know where you are.

Neptune, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME OF ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Hitomi: Of Course, there're other schools of thought.

Neptune: *about Noire and Shotaro* They make a cute couple, huh?

Kenichi: They certainly are standing next to each other.

Vert: Vegetable oil is made from Vegetables. And Coconut Oil is made from Coconuts. So Baby oil is-

Satsujin: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE!?

Noire: Are you a cuddler?

Shotaro: I'm a machine of Death And Destruction.

Noire: ...

Shotaro: ... Yeah, I'm a Cuddler.

Blanc: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

Blanc: ARE YOU-

Ryohei: Fucking.

Blanc: KIDDING ME!? YOU-

Ryohei: Fucking.

Blanc: IDIOT!

Daiki: ... What was that?

Ryohei: Mina banned Blanc from swearing, So I'm helping her out.

Nagato: What is love?

Vert: An Emotional Minefield.

Histoire: A Neurochemical Reaction.

Nikki: Baby, Don't hurt me.

Kenichi: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!

Anhe: This unmitigated poppycock?

Neptune: Extravagant hogwash!

Kenichi: Okay, stop.

Neptune: Croissants: dropped

Kenichi: Road: works ahead

Vert: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Uni: Shavacado: fre

Blanc: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Shotaro: ...

Shotaro: ...I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Shotaro: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Anhe: A doll.

Uni: A cinnamon roll.

Noire: A sweetheart.

Shotaro: ...

Shotaro: ...stop it.