Chapter Three: The Scariest thing isn't Death;
Part Two: it's The Secrets you Give way to.

That night Holly found it hard to sleep. She fussed and rolled around in bed, unable to find any comfortable way to lay for long. Too hot. So she threw the covers off to the floor. Too cold. So she pulled them back up to shiver under them. Too painful. She rolled onto her left... Right... Back... she sat up took two off-brand pain killers from a little stash of meds under her bed then laid there until she could hear the morning doves coo. Her back was awkwardly sweaty and her hands kept wanting something to do, to move or else she found them shaking slightly which made them feel numb and annoying. Eventually, Holly ended up sleeping after finally passing out once the night had passed. Holly decided on skipping her classes when the alarm blared in her room not long after dozing off, finding her red-eyed and still too tired to care about anything. She slapped the snooze button multiple times before ripping the cord from the wall in a violent display, recoiling back under the covers to hide from the creeping dawn.

By the time she got up and went downstairs to find who had leftovers in the refrigerator, it was closer to four in the afternoon. Holly lazily held the fridge door open leaning to look inside, a half-eaten salad...? "Well. Fuck." Nope. There were three bottles of red wine, a case of weak beer, a loaf of expiring white bread, a door full of condiments, three jars of hamburger pickles, a row of healthy plain Greek yogurt and some eggs. She picked up one of the eggs and realized they had all been hard-boiled, "What the actual fuck..." She mumbled and shut the door while scratching her neck. She held the egg up to her face squinting at it as if she should be remembering something about why it was there. 'Way too early for Easter.'

"They're for my salads. Stacey thought they were weird too. You can have one though," Melody cut through Holly's thoughts having walked into the kitchen along with Jennifer, they were sweaty and still in gym clothes, "I think Jane ate your frozen fruit thing two nights ago." She waved her hand at the freezer top of the fridge. Jane was nearly never around, much like a ghost.

"Uh..." Her mind felt like it was wading through a haze trying to form a decent reply besides basic grunts, "Yeah, I said she could. I think... whatever."

"Just don't touch my yogurt." Jennifer was the scariest of her housemates, Holly had heard various rumors one in particular where Jennifer fractured a guy's skull with nothing but her thick thighs. Not that it required a lot of pressure... How the guy got there in the first place she was also too afraid to ask.

"...Shit is nasty anyways." Holly sighed looking for a spoon to crack the eggshell with.

"More for me." Melody teased Jennifer upon hearing Holly's dislike of the yogurt. She set a small neon green gym bag on the dinner table and kicked her feet up.

Jennifer shot Melody a look of irritation, "I'll throw you outside in the snow, tits up in a blizzard if you touch them."

So it began. Melody teased Jennifer mercilessly about her nasty Greek yogurt while Jennifer promised to make Melody's life a real hell if she did. Each time they did this the outcome was always the same. Jennifer would eventually walk away to do whatever she needed to do and Melody would slyly rearrange the flavors of yogurts in the fridge when Jennifer wasn't around.

"...Boo. They're all plain this time. She's no fun." Melody stared at the yogurt for a moment before pushing the door closed.

"Shouldn't mess with her so much." Holly had finished eating the boiled egg long ago and was in the middle of now making a pot of cheap dark coffee. She had listened and watched the two women for nearly twenty minutes as she gradually woke up herself. She wanted to tell them to fuck already. No one on campus would care about two women in love and it hurt just watching them some days.

"Nah she loves it," Melody looked longingly at the hall Jennifer walked down before she rolled her eyes and went to grab her gym bag, "you feeling any better?" Holly just nodded her head staring vacantly at the coffee pot as if this action alone would will the coffee to brew faster, "Stay better. I know you moved to Gotham a while back but growing up here... Just gotta keep a smile on your face is all. See you later then." Melody retreated down the hall to sit outside the bathroom and wait for Jennifer to finish showering.

A few hours later Holly was standing outside the men's dorms. The university had enough sense to gender segregate their dorms; not that it stopped men and women sneaking into each other's beds. As she looked at the old dorm she wondered if it had been there since the university was constructed. A lot of buildings in Gotham were old, ruined even, but no one was being paid to tear them down... no one that rich and stupid enough to buy them up in the first place. And they just kept rotting. One place was starting to become a slum of sorts. Normally she would be at work by now serving the dinner rush. Holly's thoughts drifted to the American-styled diner and how long it may have been there along with how Moe was dealing with the crowd... 'Probably alright' she told herself honestly not caring if he was drowning in orders.

She caught the first guy coming from the building's front doors attention, "Hey, excuse me I'm looking for someone in the men's dorm, Jonathan. I think I'm early but I never asked which room was his, could you show me or-?" She had trailed off with an awkward smile on her face. Melody did say to just keep smiling right?

"Which one? Jonathan's kind of a common name."

"Crane," she watched as he shifted his weight; was he uncomfortable being stopped or was it the mention of, "Jonathan Crane, about this tall," she held her hand a good half a foot above her own head height, "twig, huge square nerd glasses." 'Kind of an asshole.' She thought the last part not wanting to blurt out everything she thought about Jonathan to a total stranger.

"Uh..." he realized probably that he appeared befuddled and quickly recovered, "I mean," he blinked then chuckled a little, "I didn't think he had a girlfriend, or friends in general."

"Oh... we're not," dating obviously although were they friends? She wasn't all too sure. They certainly had a relationship that she felt extended enough to be called acquaintances by now at the very least, "We tutor together."

"Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense... he does have a bulletin for tutoring, you majoring psychology then?" The guy was trying to make small talk as he led her into the dorm.

So long as it was not after hours it seemed no one would care that she was in the building. Honestly, Holly was never sure what to expect out of a university dorm; she assumed it was under lock and key no girls allowed in the men's dorm ever sort of thing. She had not cared to listen during the tour which left her standing in front of the administrative building on her first day.

"Huh...? No, I'm majoring in accounting." Holly replied after a long pause.

"Oh. Cool." He just pursed his lips shut until stopping on the second floor at a door near the start of the hallway. It had a whiteboard pinned onto the wood that read: 'DO NOT KNOCK BEFORE 6 AM & AFTER 11 PM.' It was written in clean all capitalized lettering much like Jonathan's handwriting, "So here you go... bye." He simply left Holly in the hall to hurry off down the stairs.

Pulling up her hand she knocked twice with her knuckles then waited. A couple of moments passed and she knocked again in the same manner. If he was not there she'd likely have to wait. Her mind wheeled towards the thought of leaving to go find something to snack on from a vending machine rather than wait around for the man. Holly decided to try one more time. She knocked harder on the door which made it echo.

This time it slowly opened; the room beyond was fairly dark, the window blacked out by a thick dark-colored blanket and the lights off. Jonathan had indeed been the one to answer. He apparently must have been sleeping; deep dark circles were under his cold blue hues, glasses perched lazily on the middle of his nose he peered down at her through them. His hair seemed a frizzy mess and if anything was a tell he was wearing an oversized white shirt along with blue polka dot pajama bottoms. They made him look like he was swimming in the cloth and thinner than he was. He blinked slowly. If looks could kill... Once he squinted at Holly he moved his wrist close to his face where a watch resided, "You're early." He started to shut the door nonetheless paused for a moment to yawn out, "Wait here." Clicking the door shut in her face she could hear it lock.

Did he think she was going to open the door? To what... watch him get dressed? More and more she began to understand how much of a private individual Jonathan Crane was.

Holly stared at the door for a while before going to stand against the wall between his and the next door down. She had nothing otherwise to do while waiting. At first, Holly looked at the wall opposite her, it was bare besides worn wood paneling. She looked to her left, the hallway extended about ten rooms down before turning a corner and to her right, she could see the stairs she came up from. There was a corkboard around the middle of the hall that had papers of all sorts of colors and sizes pinned to it but she couldn't read any of them from where she stood. She even looked up at the smooth ceiling, there was a weird water stain almost directly above her. Eventually, her gaze went to nothing in particular and her hands found her pack of unopened cigarettes to fidget with in her jacket pocket. Nothing to do, nothing to feel besides creeping boredom.

Jonathan unlocked the door after a short while of her doing nothing. He cleaned up quickly, his hair brushed, clothes tucked in and... "Are you," Holly was staring at his face, "wearing concealer?" His dark circles were almost completely hidden. It was trending among men to wear makeup in the last few years, though the look was typically reserved for heavy metal and glam rock stars. He did not answer. Rather he turned and waved her to follow him back down to the first level then outside. They walked in silence until Holly spoke up again, "It doesn't look bad. Would never have known if I didn't just see you with raccoon eyes. Wasn't expecting you-"

"To know how?" He finished her thought and sentence, "Everyone that learns is typically shocked, your worry if you offended me is pointless. You didn't."

Holly felt like he could read her mind at times, this time it was close as she had not worried if he was offended. She wanted him to show her how to do it sometime. It looked far better than any of the girls in her house could do, "Where exactly are we going?" She noticed they had gone a ways on campus, "I think I've been in this building for a few lectures." Holly commented as she searched their surroundings for anything that would solidify her feelings of familiarity.

"The building is mainly used for law and business... Accounting is your major? You'll likely see it more in your second year, there are also many lecture halls on the south end used for various reasons." He stated while moving down the hallways, knowing exactly it seemed where to turn.

Having not answered her first question she did not press for the answer, rather he sparked another in her mind, "Jonathan, I've never asked what it is you're studying." The man she'd asked at the front of the dorm mentioned psychology to her but she'd brushed it aside in mind.

He paused in front of a room with a gold painted 20 on the door's glass, looking at the doorknob for a few seconds before giving it a jiggle. It was unlocked. Holly stepped in, in an almost timid manner. The room was structured in a very 'high school classroom' style, with a sort of teacher's desk near a chalkboard and long desks with several chairs pushed under them in rows. The difference was several heavy bookcases filled to the brim with books on general and ambiguous laws lining the back wall of the room.

"I'm studying my second year of psychology and taking general chemistry courses," as she thought he was a year or two ahead- "I've already completed a general practitioner's degree." Oh, Holly thought, Well. Fuck. That was certainly more than a four-year degree add in the undergraduate it probably took and maybe post?... How old was Jonathan? No wonder he was basically extorting Mario for money, it must have been being poured into this university. She observed him as he moved towards the back of the room then turned to look at her, "Here." He gestured to a space behind the very large bookcases.

Holly passed close to Jonathan so that she could peer into the space. There was nothing but more dark space than she initially expected. The wall seemed to have an indentation in it meant for something no longer there. She looked back at him and he made the same small gesture as if he wanted her to shuffle in, "This is probably a bad time to ask... what is it you wanted to show me?" She pointed half-heartily into the dark, dusty space. It was not that she had no reason to trust Jonathan, it was that she knew she should have asked sooner.

Holly was sure this time she caught the corners of his lips lifting upwards in a tiny smirk, "A chance for revenge." Her mind felt like it had been wiped over by the single word 'Revenge' and it felt almost good until the questions came flooding in. Like on Who? She didn't ask any of them. Instead she looked into the space again then shuffled in behind the shelves. Her back pressed against the wall with her nose brushing just barely against a couple of the books that had been pushed too far back into the shelf until she slid along the indentation. She couldn't exactly see out, just barely a glimpse here or there into the room between thick hardbacks. Otherwise, there was hardly any light to see; especially when Jonathan's form shuffled in next to hers. She felt his arm brush against her own for a moment but he made sure it did not happen again, "Stay quiet, not a sound." He spoke in a low serious voice.

They did not have to wait very long before the door suddenly creaked open to the dusk-light classroom. Hushed, muffled giggles and feet tapping against the wooden floors were the first noises but soon more risky sounds came about. The unbuttoning of clothing, the moans of heated passionate kissing, and... "You've been such a good student, Mister Russo, good boys get their thick cocks serviced." And so many more sounds that had Holly as red as a newly ripe cherry. She peeked out of curiosity, only once, it was all she needed to know who they were listening to unethically bang. No matter how much Love and Peace were a trend Teacher-Student relationships were still treated by the university with utmost severity; expulsion of the student without financial refunds and so far as blacklisting the professor. It was worse if the news caught wind. It ruined both parties involved for the rest of their foreseeable lives... and Holly had just watched that cute-creep James get it on with who; she'd later find out from Jonathan, was specifically his law professor. This was more than just revenge, this was outright blackmail material.

A new thought crossed her mind as she tried to ignore what was happening just yards from their hiding place. How did Jonathan know they'd be here? It was the most burning question. She turned her head to look up at him and found that he was peering down at her. It was hard to see his face well in the darkness. Holly would never know what he was thinking though she suspected he was not some kind of pervert. She really hoped he was not just some kind of pervert. Oh god, what if he was just a big pervert? Her body tried to slide away but she couldn't move anymore to the side without leaving the indent in the wall. Before more of those thoughts sparked into her head Jonathan turned his gaze away to look at his feet. No, Holly thought, he seemed uncomfortable being there; just as much as she probably was.

They waited nearly an hour until the two were certainly gone. The sun had set but the lights outside the campus window gave the room enough of a glow to see.

"I trust you'll keep this our secret," Jonathan had shuffled out from behind the bookcase and was wiping dust from his clothing, "I'm already involved with Mario, and having another of their dirty little secrets would put me in a difficult position. So if you choose to use what you know now, leave my name out of it."

Holly nodded her head mumbling, "Yeah, sure."

"... Miss Kingsley." Was Jonathan questioning the conviction in her answer? His tone was stern.

"Yes," she stared at him, "... I'm not going to betray your trust, Jonathan, I'm probably a lot of things but not that kind of person." She'd like to think so at the least; Holly wasn't going around trying to earn a reputation as a rat.

He kept looking at her and she could not tell if he was disappointed or just stone-faced, "... There is a spider on your shoulder." He pointed out before moving toward the door that lead back into the university's hallways. Holly had stiffened, moving gently to look then swiped the arachnid from her shoulder in one swift movement.

The Other Side of Trust

Jonathan watched closely. Every breath taken in slowly, every fidgety uncomfortable movement she made. He found enjoyment in analyzing her as she peeked a look at the two sexually active individuals just on the other side of the bookcase. Even in the shadows, he could tell her face burned red. She was certainly embarrassed at witnessing the act, not that he was quite comfortable listening either. In fact, he felt disgusted and a need to bathe in mouthwash or something stronger than just soapy water. When she looked up he wanted to ask 'how she felt' at that moment for the sole purpose of understanding her mind as it was faced with such embarrassment, but kept silent. It was not the time to be caught as peeping toms regardless of the other parties' distasteful doings.

Instead, he turned his eyes down to stare at the darkness that was the floor. The more he watched her the more Jonathan felt the questions brimming in his throat like frogs trying to jump out. It made him feel a bit younger than he was wanting to terrorize Holly with probing questions or perhaps just see if she squirmed at the sight of a bug held to her face like he used to do as a child. He thought perhaps he was starting to enjoy her company for the reasons unbeknownst she felt him easy to speak to. It was a fantasy to dream of friendship for him, he was entertaining the idea right now. Flirting with it by offering Holly keys to revenge that was not his business to give. He had put a large amount of trust in bringing her here in the first place, it had been a fickler decision than he liked to normally make.

Jonathan knew he did not have the time nor the willpower to maintain such a friendship or something remotely like it. He had goals in mind he was working towards, and they would come first.

In the meantime, he did enjoy the look into her head when she would blurt out stupid questions or reveal something sullenly personal. Holly Kingsley was one of the few interesting insights for research into the 'party girl' life he could not get normally. This little arrangement they both happened to have for very different reasons with Mario was turning out to be more beneficial for him than he first thought it might. He trusted she found him intriguing enough but would soon forget him when the time came to part ways. If not he'd make sure she stayed away and give in to his little voice's temptation to terrorize.