Max went back to bed, but he couldn't sleep. He kept seeing the hurt look on Toni's face when he'd told her to go back to bed. He'd been embarrassed that she'd heard him crying and ashamed for her to see him with a red face and puffy eyes. The last thing in the world he'd wanted to do had been to hurt her feelings.

When it was time to go downstairs for breakfast, he washed his face and then joined the Shevchenkos. Everyone was pleasant to him, but he couldn't look Toni in the eyes. Neither of them said anything to the other. After breakfast, he got busy helping Yuri with some repair work and soon managed to push the incident to the back of his mind.

After lunch, Yuri sent him on an errand to the hardware store down the street. On the way back, he passed the flower shop and, on impulse, went inside and bought a bouquet of daisies. When he got back to the inn, he looked around for Toni and found her sitting in the den, repairing some curtains. He said her name softly, and she jumped, dropping a needle.

"I'm so sorry!" He laid the flowers down to help her look in the carpet for the needle.

"Here it is." She picked it up and returned to her seat.

"I didn't mean to startle you," said Max. He picked the flowers back up and held them out to her. "These are for you."

"For me? Wow!" Her eyes grew wide, and her smile lit up her whole face. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome." He cleared his throat. "I want to apologize for what happened this morning."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you know." He stared at the floor as he shuffled his feet. "I didn't mean to yell at you like I did."

She chuckled. "Oh, that's all right! I felt bad for having disturbed you."

"Oh, you didn't disturb me." He gulped. "I had a bad dream, and it - it made me cry. It was about Stephen."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." She set the curtains aside, then stood and embraced him. He felt hot tears fill his eyes and fought to keep them from rolling down his cheeks.

"It's not - just that." He gasped with every word, struggling to get them out. "Ever since I came back - from Vietnam - "

She helped him into the chair she'd been sitting in, then sat beside him on the floor.

"I've had these nightmares." The words came more easily now. "Sometimes they happen in the daytime, too, and when they do, it's just like I'm right back there in the jungle all over again, fighting for my life." For a long time, neither of them said a word, and then Max spoke again. "It got so bad I - I took some of my mom's pills. It helped for a little while, so I did it a few more times. I felt terrible about it, but I was way too ashamed to admit what I was doing." He sighed. "She must have figured it out, because later on, she tried to get me to go to the doctor, but I wouldn't."

"Why not?" asked Toni.

Max shook his head. "Mostly just afraid people would think I was crazy, I guess. I couldn't stand for my family and friends to think that about me. What if they didn't want anything to do with me anymore and I ended up all alone?"

"I'm sure that never would have happened!" She jumped to her feet and stood looking down at him. "If they really loved you, that would never change, no matter what!"

Max sighed. "Maybe I really knew that, deep down inside, but I was still scared. Some of them might have ridiculed and made fun of me, and I couldn't have stood that. "

"The people who really care about you wouldn't have."

"Yeah, I guess not." He looked thoughtful. "Maybe I could see someone up here. I'm new to the area. Nobody knows me but you and your family. I wouldn't have to tell anyone."

"There's no shame in needing help, any more than if it's something physical, like a sore throat or broken arm," said Toni.

"I've never thought about it like that before," Max confessed.


Several weeks passed, and one evening, Elizabeth received a telephone call from her older son.

"Max! I'm so glad to hear your voice!" she cried. "How have you been?"

"Fine, Mom. Did you see Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walk on the moon today? Was that far out, or what?"

"Oh yes, we all saw that on TV. It was on the front page of the newspaper, too, but how are you doing? Is the handyman job working out all right? I know it wasn't exactly what you wanted - "

"It's going great, Mom. I, um, I've been seeing a counselor, too. I'm also on medication, and I haven't had a nightmare or panic attack in days!"

"I'm so glad to hear that, Max, and I know your father will be as well."

"Remember that girl I told you about, Toni? She's the one who talked me into getting help, and I'm so glad she did!"

Elizabeth had to swallow a lump in her throat. "So am I, sweetheart."