Frisk was currently reading up on Monster history. Toriel's textbooks were very comprehensive and while she wanted to include some human history so Frisk could learn about their own people, the Monster's knowledge in that area was very limited. Frisk didn't mind. Human history wasn't very important to them.
Suddenly, their phone started ringing from somewhere. Frisk looked for it but they couldn't recall where they had left it.
It's on the counter, the voice said. Remember? You left it charging.
Frisk ran for the kitchen, but it took them a moment to climb up onto the counter. Just as they got to their phone, it stopped ringing and whoever it was went to voicemail. Frisk sighed.
Not like it really matters, you know. You still struggle with stringing words together.
'Alphys said she was working on an app that would let me use the phone with my magic hands, but that's still a work in progress.'
Hope she gets it done soon. Also, I think they finished leaving the message by now.
Frisk checked and sure enough, there was a new voicemail. They typed in their password to unlock it and put it up to their ear, moving it out of the way so they could hear the message.
"HELLO! THIS IS PAPYRUS!" the skeleton's message began. "SO, I'VE GOT SOME TRAINING TO DO TODAY WITH UNDYNE. ANYWAYS, I WAS THINKING, YOU SHOULD COME AND HANG OUT WITH US. I THINK YOU TWO WOULD MAKE GREAT PALS! UNDYNE LIVES IN WATERFALL AND SANS KNOWS WHERE HER HOUSE IS."
The message ended there. Frisk thought over Papyrus' message.
Are you considering it? the voice asked.
'Sort of. I know she's dangerous, though. She's captain of the Royal Guard.'
Well, it sounds like Papyrus will be there so perhaps it couldn't hurt. I'm sure he'll protect you.
'I guess so. Well, at the very least, I should make an appearance for Papyrus' sake.'
Then you better find Sans and have him shortcut you there.
A short while later, Frisk was in Waterfall. Sans escorted them to the area Undyne's house was in.
"welp, here we are," he said. "i'm not going any further. i gotta get back to my job."
'Thanks for the shortcut,' Frisk signed.
"no problem. anything for my bro." Sans turned and left.
Frisk could see which house was Undyne's. The scary-looking fish-like house was obviously hers. Papyrus was already there, still dressed in his signature outfit. They walked up to him and they could hear someone playing the piano inside.
"OHO! YOU CAME, MY FRIEND!" Papyrus announced. "ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE? I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU TWO GREAT FRIENDS!" Frisk nodded "OKAY, STAND BEHIND ME." Papyrus turned around and knocked on the door. "PSST, MAKE SURE TO GIVE HER THIS." He held out a gold bone with a red bow wrapped around it. "SHE LOVES THESE."
The door opened after Papyrus reconcealed the bone. The jaw-like doors parted and Frisk saw Undyne for the first time. She was a blue fish-like lady, with a red ponytail, an eyepatch over her left eye, and she was wearing a black tank top, blue jeans, and red boots.
"Hi, Papyrus," she said and Frisk recognized her voice. "Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?"
"YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!" Papyrus stepped aside, revealing Frisk.
"Hi, I don't think we've…" Undyne's voice trailed off as she clearly realized who they were. She looked at Papyrus, who just kept smiling. "Why don't. You two. Come in?" she gritted. She turned around, Papyrus wiped his feet on the mat outside and Frisk did the same.
They stepped inside and Frisk was amazed at how big it was for just one person.
"HERE, UNDYNE. MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU. ON THEIR OWN!" He revealed the gold bone.
"Uh, thanks," she said, taking it from Papyrus. "I'll put it with the others." She put it in a drawer which Frisk could see was filled with more of the same bones. "So, are we ready to start?"
"WHOOPSY DOOPSY. I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. YOU TWO HAVE FUN!" He jumped out one of the windows, shattering the glass.
Undyne stared at the hole for a moment before facing Frisk. "So why are you here? To deliver more bad news? To break our spirits even further? Is that it?"
Frisk shook their head.
"No? Then why are you here?" Undyne paused before she thought of something. "Wait, I get it. You think that I'm gonna be friends with you? Right?"
Frisk decided to nod. They might be scared, but if she was Papyrus' friend then how bad could she be?
"Really? How delightful! I accept! Let's all frolic in the fields of friendship. NOT! Why would I ever be friends with you?!" she said angrily. "If you weren't my houseguest I'd beat you up right now! You're the bearer of bad news. You destroyed all our hopes and dreams. I will NEVER be YOUR FIREND! Now, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"
"DANG! WHAT A SHAME," Papyrus said from the window. "I THOUGHT UNDYNE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. BUT I GUESS… I OVERESTIMATED HER. SHE'S JUST NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE." Then he left again.
"Challenge? What! Papyrus, wait a second!" Undyne shouted but he was already gone. She faced Frisk again. "Darn it. He thinks I can't be friends with you? Fuhuhuh! What a joke! I could be friends with a wimpy looser like you any day. I'll show him!" She looked at them intently. "Listen up, ex-human. We're not just going to be friends. We're going to be… BESTIES! I'll make you like me so much you won't be able to think of anyone else. It's the perfect REVENGE!" Then, she calmed down and politely said, "Why don't you have a seat?"
Frisk went over to the table with the fish doily, sitting on the stool.
"I'll get you something to drink," Undyne said. She went to her fridge and took out a few containers. A box, a can, a bottle, and a metal container. "All set. What would you like?" Frisk made to get up but Undyne tossed a spear at the table, cleaving it in two. "Hey! Don't get up! You're the guest! Sit down and enjoy yourself!" She saw Frisk freeze in place and forced another smile. "Uh, why not just point to what you want? You can use the spear."
After Frisk took a moment to recover from that they hefted the spear. They looked at their four choices. Then stared at the metal container.
Sugar. It goes in the tea, the voice explained. Frisk looked at the bottle. Soda. A sickly yellow liquid. They looked at the can. Hot Chocolate. In a green cylinder. Frisk looked at the box. Tea. The obviously correct choice. Taking his advice, Frisk pointed the spear at the box.
"Tea, huh? Coming right up." Undyne went over to the box, got the tea out and put it in a kettle. She filled it with water and set it on the stove. "It'll take a moment for the water to boil."
Frisk spent the moment tapping their hands on the broken table. Eventually, the kettle started to whistle, which set Frisk on edge.
"Okay, it's all done!" Undyne declared. She poured the tea into the cup then brought it over to Frisk and set it on the table. "Here we are." She sat down on the other side. "Careful. It's hot." Frisk held the cup close to their mouth. They could feel it was hot. "It's not that hot. Just drink it already!"
Frisk obligingly took a sip.
It's a little burnt, the voice said. But other than that it's pretty good.
"It's good, right?" Undyne asked. Frisk nodded. "You know, it's interesting that you chose that tea. Golden flower tea. That's Asgore's favorite kind. You know, you're a bit like him. You're both total weenies!"
Frisk giggled. They were pretty sure that was a compliment.
"You might not believe this, but I was pretty hot-headed as a kid," Undyne said. "Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on tried. I couldn't land a hit on him. And he refused to fight back. I was so humiliated. Then, he apologized and said something goofy. He said, 'excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' I said yes and from then on he trained me. Until one day, during training, I managed to knock him down. I felt… bad. But he was beaming. I had never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked, you know?"
Frisk smiled at that.
"Anyway, long story short, he kept training me and now I'm head of the Royal Guard. Now I'm the one training dorks to fight. Like, uh, Papyrus. But uh, to be honest, before all this happened, I could never let Papyrus into the Royal Guard," Undyne admitted. "Don't tell him I said that! It's… well, it's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough. He's…"
Frisk tapped the table and signed. 'Too innocent and nice.'
"Guess you get it, huh? Yeah, that's exactly it. Look, he was supposed to capture you and ended up protecting you and being friends with you instead, for a week. I could never send him into battle. He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's why I started teaching him how to cook, so maybe, he could do something else with his life."
'But now that things have changed?'
"Well, he can still be a sentry, but I'm still not sure if I could actually let him join the guard. If he had to capture a legitimately dangerous human he'd probably get killed." Undyne looked at Frisk's cup and saw it was empty. "Oh, sorry. I was talking so long. You're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get some more." She stood up but only took a few steps from the table before stopping. "Wait a second. Papyrus. His cooking lesson. He was supposed to have that right now!" She turned and faced Frisk with a rather scary smile. "And if he's not here to have it, you'll have to have it for him!"
She leapt and backflipped onto her counter, knocking all the containers except the kettle off. "Nothing has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means if I give you his lesson we'll become closer than you can ever imagine. Fuhuhuh! Afraid? We're going to be BEST FRIENDS!"
She leapt back over to Frisk, picked them up by their head, then leapt in front of the counter, setting Frisk next to her.
"Let's start with the sauce!" With a stomp of her foot, tomatoes and other fruits fell from the ceiling. "Imagine these vegetables as your greatest enemy. Pound them into dust with your fists!"
Frisk wasn't sure about this but they did want to be friends with Undyne. Mustering their strength, they reeled their fist back and punched one of the tomatoes.
You punch the tomato at full force. It bounces against the wall and slaps your fist.
"Yeah! Our hearts are uniting against these healthy ingredients. Now it's my turn! NYAGH!" Undyne raised her fist and smashed all the fruits with one punch, splattering the juices everywhere, including their faces. "Uh, we'll scrape this into a bowl later. For now, it's time for the noodles!" With another stomp of her foot, a pot and a box of spaghetti fell onto the stove. "Homemade noodles are the best. But I just buy store brand. They're the cheapest! Throw them into the pot!"
Frisk picked up the box and looked up at the top of the pot. Then an idea came to them. Using their magic hands, they held the box, then reeled back before throwing it at full force into the pot.
You throw everything into the pot. Including the box. It clacks on the empty bottom.
"Yeah! I'm into it! Now to stir the pasta. As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir, the better it is!"
Undyne handed them a spoon, which they held with their magic hands. They mimed stirring the noodles, the hands mimicking.
"Faster!" Undyne shouted and Frisk stirred faster. "Faster!" Frisk went even faster. "Faster!" Frisk stirred as fast as their little body could. "Ugh, let me do it!" She summoned a spear and banged on the pot, smashing it as she stirred. "Alright, now for the final step. Turn up the heat. Let the stovetop symbolize your passions. Don't hold anything back."
Frisk looked at the dial which they could reach with their hands but they had a better idea. Instead, they summoned a small flame in their hands.
"Cool! You can use fire. Well, by all means, show me what you got!"
Frisk sent the flame under the pot and started heating it. "Hotter!" Undyne shouted. Frisk increased the size of the flame. "Hotter!" Frisk made it even bigger. "Hotter!" Frisk made the flames bigger still. "HOTTER!" Frisk gave the flame their all. "Wait, that's too…" Then the whole house caught fire. Everything was now burning.
"No wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking," Undyne said good naturedly.
Frisk rubbed the back of their head, panting as they did. That took a lot of energy.
"Hey, you're still standing, so you've obviously got a lot of energy in you," Undyne complimented. Frisk shrugged. "Well, that was fun. So, what now?"
'Well, I still want to be friends,' Frisk signed. 'Sure, you're a little scary, but I don't hate you. Actually, you're pretty cool.'
"Heh. Never thought a human would think I'm cool," Undyne said. "You know, kid, to be honest, I really hated you when I first heard about you. Especially after you dropped that bombshell."
'Sorry. I didn't want you guys to be hurt by it. I was planning on you never finding out.'
"You wanted to protect us from a harsh truth, huh? You know, hearing you say that, reminds me of someone I used to train with. Now I know you're not just some loser human. You're a loser human with a big heart! Just like him."
'Thanks.'
"Look, uh, kid…"
'Frisk.'
"Frisk. Sorry I was so mean before. We've been wanting to see the surface for so long and when you told us it was gone, I was really mad. I needed someone to blame for shattering our hopes. And it was easy to blame you since I didn't know you. But, looking at you now, I can't stay mad at you. It's not your fault all our prayers have been ignored and you're suffering just like the rest of us. So, if you ever need anything, just ask. I'll do what I can for you. Now let's get the hell out of this flaming house."
They ran out, standing in her front yard.
'Sorry about your house,' Frisk apologized.
"It's fine. Not the first time this has happened. Or the second. Or the third. Or the tenth." Frisk giggled into their hand, the voice doing the same. "Well, good thing most of my stuff is in a shed in New Home. Anyway, until my house gets fixed, I'll go hang with Sans and Papyrus. So, if you're ever bored out of your mind and I'm not busy with training or anything, feel free to come by. I'll even help train you how to use magic, too. Those hands and fire looked awesome."
'I'll keep it in mind. Would you mind taking me home? It's a long walk to my house in Snowdin.'
"Sure thing!" Undyne picked them up, setting them on her shoulders. "Onward to Snowdin!" She ran and Frisk had to hold on tight to avoid falling off.
Undyne sprinted all the way to Snowdin, never stopping. When they reached the skeleton brothers' house, Papyrus was standing out in front.
"SO, HOW DID IT GO?" he asked.
"Kid's not bad," Undyne decided. "Burned my house down while training, though. So I'm going to be hanging around here."
"AGAIN? THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SOME COOKING LESSON. YOU TWO MUST BE GREAT PALS NOW!"
"I wouldn't go that far, but they're cool," Undyne said, letting them down. "So, where do you live, kid?"
'Just a block away,' Frisk signed. 'I can walk the rest of the way. Thanks for the ride, though.'
"Sure thing! See ya around!"
"BYE FOR NOW, FRISK!"
As Frisk walked away, they could hear the two of them talking still.
"You planned this whole thing, didn't you?"
"I DID! WASN'T IT BRILLIANT OF ME?"
"Yeah, it was. Good on you."
"SO, WHERE WILL YOU BE SLEEPING?"
"I guess the couch. Even though it's all… lumpy and jangly."
"ACTUALLY, LADY TORIEL FIXED THAT WHILE SHE LIVED WITH US. NOW OUR COUCH IS VERY COMFORTABLE!"
"Awesome!"
By then, Frisk was out of earshot.
Well, that was certainly something, the voice said. But I don't think mom would call that cooking.
'It does explain why Papyrus is so bad, though.'
So what are we doing for the rest of the day?
'Well, we still got some more history to read up on.'
Monster History.
'What other kind is there?'
Human history.
'And where am I going to get anything on that?'
Fair point. By the way, let's not tell mom we set a house on fire while taking a cooking lesson from Undyne. She'll probably forbid us from ever seeing her again.
'Good idea. Let's not tell her that.'
End of Chapter 12
