Summer, 2005
"Beaches are a Niijima family pastime," Masanori said as the car came to a halt. "You should be excited, Sae." The engine stopped, leaving the Niijima family sitting in the barely air-conditioned car. They were protected from the summer heat but not for long. The beat-up, all-black SUV that Masanori loved dearly got hot in record time.
"Key word being past," Sae replied. Even with her obstructed view from the backseat, Makoto knew Sae rolled her eyes. Her older sister never really grew out of her moodiness.
"Don't worry, dad. I'm excited."
Masanori laughed, turning around his car seat. "I know, Mako," he said with a smile. He turned to Sae. "You could stand to be a little more happy to be here. You're going back to school soon. Don't you wanna have some wholesome family memories before you go back?"
Sae, always enthusiastic to be sour, looked out the window. "I could care less."
"Fine, then. At least sulk in the summer sun." Masanori faced straight ahead. He peered over the steering wheel at the beach ahead.
The day was made of luck. Masanori got the week off after something happened at work that Makoto didn't get the details on, but she was quite thankful. Her dad rarely spent time with her, except for their nightly family dinners. He did have to miss a few, but Makoto understood. Law enforcement was a demanding job, and an important one. Makoto was proud of Masanori's work.
Even luckier than Masanori's week off was the beach itself. Because they went on a weekday, there were far fewer people than the exceptional weather encouraged. They could find a spot with ease and not have to worry about their things getting stolen, especially with Sae lazing around wherever they would set up. No one dared to approach someone so hostile.
The Niijimas exited the car. Makoto's flip-flops—which were far too big—slapped the ground as she walked around the back of the SUV. She flinched at the heat of the button to open the trunk, but pressed it anyway. The back of the car opened up to reveal the Niijimas' beach gear. Makoto started gathering things to haul, taking a few towels under one arm and a cooler in her other hand.
Masanori and Sae came around each side of the car to get their own things, then the trunk was slammed shut. They set off along a thin path of sand. Weeds and grass narrowed the path on either side, brushing on Makoto's legs as she walked, but not enough for her to notice.
Their view of the beach was never obstructed. The whole time that they walked, they could see the coast getting closer. Makoto got to walk first, too, so she bounded forward and set the pace with her enthusiasm.
Finally, after a minute that felt longer than the drive itself, they emerged from the narrow path to a wide open beach. Small groups of people were scattered across the beach with barely any density. Makoto easily found a wide-open spot a hundred feet to the left of where they exited the path, leading the trio towards the open space. It presented them with enough distance to admire the water while also giving them room to space out on the sand.
Sae dropped the blanket she brought, having the decency to roll it out on the sand. Makoto set down the cooler and towels. She took her towel, a black and white striped towel with Buchimaru on the white stripes, and laid it down on the sand next to the blanket. She could feel the warmth of the sand as she pressed it flat to the beach.
The other towels, Sae's and Masanori's, remained rolled up on the blanket. Masanori set down his items and sat down on the blanket.
"Whaddya think, Mako?"
Masanori had a habit of asking Makoto that exact question whenever he saw her. It never meant anything, except that he was curious about what was on Makoto's mind. When she was younger, she hated getting the question because it confused her. Now that she was older—the mature age of twelve—she understood it.
"Hm…" Masanori didn't like short answers. He never said that, he just frowned whenever Makoto gave him one-word shots of boredom. "I don't wanna sit down after such a long drive."
"You're free to run around for a bit. Just let me get a bit of a nap—"
"All you did was press a pedal down for an hour," Sae cut in. "It's not that tiring."
"No, it is not, Sae, but you should know that things other than driving can make you tired. How many nights of good sleep were you getting at university this Spring?"
Sae didn't reply, choosing to let the silence thrive while she sat down on her towel, which just so happened to be on the other opposite side of the blanket from Makoto.
"I'll nap for a bit, then we'll play catch. How's that sound, Mako?"
"Hm…" Makoto looked out at the water.
"Okay, what if I throw in some yen for you to get some ice cream?"
"Deal."
"Good." Masanori laid down, pulling his hat over his face. He crossed his legs and placed his feet on the warm sand. "Let an old man rest, 'kay?"
"Hey, dad? Could you grab my book from the car?"
Masanori, who stood a few feet away from the set up, halted his throwing motion and turned his attention away from Makoto to Sae. He looked down at his eldest daughter. "I'm entertaining Makoto right now. Why don't you go get it?" he said. He resumed his smooth throw, holding the ball behind his ear before whipping it twenty feet away at Makoto.
Makoto stopped her own motion when Masanori held a hand up to her. She watched as Masanori stood over Sae, hands on his hips and his head pointed upwards. Masanori had a habit of looking upward whenever he needed to make a decision.
"Okay, fine. I'll go grab it," Masanori conceded to Sae as his head came back down from the clouds. "But you have to play catch with Makoto."
"But—"
Already walking away, Masanori waved off Sae and interrupted her. "Ah ah ah, I'm going to get your book. I don't wanna hear it."
Makoto held her ground away from Sae, watching her sister to see if she would get up. She knew that Sae did not want to play catch, let alone spend time with her. Sae always did everything she could to avoid her younger sister. She stayed in her room at home, didn't return from university for vacations outside of summer, and never texted.
Despite all of that, Makoto loved her sister. Sae's anti-social attitude didn't stop Makoto from wanting to spend time with her, nor did it hinder Makoto's attempts to impress her. Part of the reason she studied so hard was to get into Seven Sisters, an elite high school full of future doctors, engineers, lawyers, and Diet-members. Of all those incredible people, Sae ranked first by the time she graduated.
"You're going to play catch, right?" Makoto asked as she approached Sae at their set-up for the day. Sae kicked sand off her feet as she reached down onto the blanket to grab her phone. Makoto tossed the ball up in the air and caught it in her hand as she awaited a response.
Sae dropped her phone into her bag and zipped it up. She stood up straight, then pulled her hair behind her pale shoulders. "I'm going swimming."
"Oh, really? I'll come with. Just let me put—"
"I'm swimming alone, actually. No need for you to join."
"Um…" Makoto looked back over her shoulder in the direction of the parking lot. Her dad couldn't be seen—which was expected because of the distance to the car, but it still worried her to see no one walking on the pathway. "What about your book?"
"I'll read it later. Just stay here." Sae started walking towards the water without even getting a response from Makoto.
Makoto sat down on her towel and watched her sister walk down the beach. No matter how many times the same scenario happened—no matter how many times Makoto told herself she was used to it—it hurt to see Sae turn her back on her.
She figured that she would have to try harder to impress Sae.
"Mako?" Makoto turned around at the sound of her dad approaching from behind. She shaded her eyes as she looked up at his towering silhouette. He blocked the sun from view, so she dropped her hand from her eyes. "I thought I told Sae to—"
"I got bored and wanted to relax."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Huh." Masanori accepted it as the truth and sat down. He looked at the cover of Sae's book, then tossed it over to her towel. "Always so demanding…" he mumbled.
Makoto looked over with worried eyes. "Me?"
"No, it's Sae. You know how she is." Masanori reached over and rubbed his hand on Makoto's head, messing her hair up in the process. "You're the exact opposite, actually." Was that why Sae didn't like her—because they were so different? "You don't ask for a lot," Masanori said. "Except when it comes to Buchimaru."
Makoto laughed. "Dad..."
"No, keep on asking. It's a good reminder to continue working hard," Masanori said, his hands moving as he talked. He never kept entirely still, even in his naps. A twitching hand or spasming muscle kept Masanori Niijima on edge all the time. "Mako needs her favorite panda, right?"
Despite what the design on Makoto's towel said about her, Makoto objected to being labeled as a Buchimaru fanatic. It was below someone of her maturity. That didn't mean that the occasional gift bearing the aesthetic of everyone's favorite panda went unappreciated, though. As much as Makoto wanted to be a teenager, she couldn't resist her childhood.
"Right," Makoto said. Her embarrassed smile made her dad laugh.
"If your grades are still good, I mean."
Makoto always felt offended when someone brought up the possibility of her grades being less than stellar, even if that someone was her father. "They are!"
"I know… Just wanna make sure. Does Sae ever help you with your homework?"
"No." Masanori looked down at the blanket. Makoto watched his eyes fidget as he considered the situation. "But it's because I don't ask. The homework's easy most of the time."
"It is? That's good…"
"You don't need to worry about my grades, dad."
"I know that I shouldn't, but it's my job." They looked out at the water. Neither could spot Sae. Either she swam far enough so they couldn't spy on her, or she was getting better at holding her breath. "And my other job is going to get even tougher. They want me to work more hours. I might not come home some nights."
Makoto welcomed the independence. "That's alright."
"Is it? You're getting older, Sae doesn't want to help, and—"
"I'm used to it. I can take care of myself."
Masanori turned, looking Makoto in the eye. "Okay. I believe you."
Makoto appreciated the confidence, but she didn't take note of it. She rarely thought about her relationship with her father. They felt so natural together, like friends who could hang out without saying anything to each other. Less nights at home for Masanori just meant that Makoto would get to watch less TV with him.
She could handle it, surely.
Fall, 2006
Makoto and Sae froze when a knock came from the door. Sae stopped her pacing, Makoto stopped her frantic, unfocused reading. She could barely concentrate on her favorite book all night long after the call that the sisters received.
About one hour before the knock, the Niijimas's home phone rang. Sae had picked it up assuming that Masanori would have to spend the night in the office. Instead, she learned from Akihiko that her father would be spending the night in the hospital.
Masanori had been shot multiple times. Akihiko knew nothing more than that at the time of the call, but promised to learn more before rushing to the Niijima residence to keep the daughters informed.
With the weight of her world making her hand tremble, Sae opened the door. Akihiko, always holding his head high with a smile, mustered none of the energy to do so. He didn't even try to look strong for the sisters, telling Makoto that things went worse than expected with just his body language.
Makoto didn't need to hear it. She couldn't. If Akihiko only came to tell them that there father died on the way to the hospital, then—
"I don't want to keep you waiting any longer," Akihiko said. Sae stood in front of him, keeping him outside the apartment. Makoto could see him from her spot on the couch. The forming tears made life just blurry enough for her to want to look away. "Masanori didn't make it. He—"
Makoto heard enough. She tuned out Akihiko, dropped her book onto the couch, and laid back. She closed her eyes to hold back the tears, but that only made it harder not to cry. Whatever reaction Sae had was lost on Makoto. She escaped into her own head, though it wasn't much help. Any thoughts that arrived were about him.
Memories, conversations, even just possibilities hurt to think about. Makoto knew she would have to figure out what life would be like without her father, but she didn't want to. She already barely saw him—twice a week—but any less would be cruel. It would be a sick joke for the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department to play on Makoto.
"Makoto," a voice said. She opened her eyes and saw Akihiko standing in front of her. He didn't sit down next to her and put an arm around her like Masanori did when Sae's negligence hurt, or when her lack of friends got to her; he just stared down at her with his hands on his hips. Makoto used to be scared of Akihiko's cloudy eyes when she was a kid. Now, she knew why: they revealed nothing. "You need to go to your room. Sae and I will be discussing things. Adult things."
Makoto opened her mouth to speak. Her throat was dry and sore, too sore for her to speak with ease. She choked out mangled versions of the words she wanted to say. "B-but—"
Akihiko couldn't be angry with her, but he could unintentionally guilt trip her. His voice softened from its usual rolling gravel into something more wounded. "Makoto."
Makoto stood up. She didn't say anything to Akihiko, or even look at him, as she walked towards the door to her room. Without protest, she opened and shut her bedroom door behind her.
That didn't mean she would stop listening. Makoto stayed at her door, pressing her back to it and waited for Akihiko to tell Sae whatever was so important. Her head fell back and rested against the door. She closed her eyes while she waited.
"I don't have a whole lot to say," Akihiko began. His voice was muffled through the door, but he spoke loud enough that Makoto could understand. She heard him take her spot on the couch with a loud flop.
If Sae had any response, Makoto couldn't hear it. She understood if her sister was too caught up in the moment to respond, especially because Makoto herself was in the same state.
"I'll contribute as much as I can, but—"
"I'll need to make a living for myself," Sae interrupted.
"And for Makoto, yes. I'm anticipating your landlord giving you a grace period of sorts, but after that…"
"We'll have to move. I'll… Live off campus, but still close," Sae said. Makoto heard nothing but determination in her sister, as if the situation was a new challenge for her to prove herself. Alternatively, she knew Makoto was listening and wanted to encourage her to be strong. Makoto believed in the option that made her feel better, not the one that was true. "Makoto won't get to go to Sevens."
"No, she won't, but there are other schools. I'll make sure she finds something she likes."
Makoto couldn't lament her hopes of going to Seven Sisters—there were more pressing matters on her mind.
"Sae, I know this is hard, and it's a lot to place on you so soon." Akihiko paused. Makoto listened to the sound of her bunched-up hair rubbing on the door for what felt like minutes until he continued. "I'll help when I can. The force has me busy, but Masa made me promise to take care of you guys if anything ever happened."
"Why would he…?"
"Masanori knew a lot of things. Maybe too many things. I'm not saying anything, but… I have my suspicions on what happened. I promise you that I'll find the truth, whatever it is, and make sure that everyone knows it."Sae's voice came through much more quietly than before. "Thank you, Sanada-san." She had no determination anymore.
"But while I do that… You've got twenty years-worth of experience to catch up on in a week because Makoto needs you. You're gonna have to raise her from here on out."
"She doesn't—"
"Don't say anything, just start thinking about what's best for her. She needs you, Sae."
Silence. Makoto's tears were reinforced by the lack of a response from her sister. Was it fair to doubt if Sae loved her at that moment? No, probably not, but Makoto's emotions were out of control. Everything Akihiko and Sae said worried her.
"Okay. I'll take care of her."
Makoto knew everything would change. Sae would be forced to be more caring, if not loving, to her. They would move into some apartment that lacked anything resembling their current home. Every officer who ever worked with Masanori would show up at their door randomly to offer condolences. The reminders of their loss would be constant, and Makoto would have to grow up through all of it.
She sank down the door, reaching the floor just as her legs began to burn from holding herself up for too long. Hope for the future was a lot to ask, but Makoto wanted it. She needed it. The one thing she could do was think of school—the one area of her life which she completely controlled.
If she wasn't going to Seven Sisters, where would she go?
Spring, 2007
"Niijima-chan!" As Makoto stopped walking to find the person calling out to her, the person walking behind her walked directly into her.
"S-sorry," Makoto said immediately, helping the girl regain her step with a gentle hand. The girl smiled to let Makoto know that there was no bad blood, then was off, leaving Makoto alone with the voice calling out to her.
"Makoto!" the man said again, this time much closer. Makoto turned in the direction of the voice. Akihiko, with the same uniform she saw her father in so many times, walked up to her. "Damn… You walk fast," he panted. "Had me speed-walking to catch up."
"Sorry, Sanada-san. I don't want to be late on my first day." Makoto checked her watch. She had time to spare, yet she still felt nervous about being late.
"Today's your first day? I thought you started last week!"
"No, no. Today's the day."
"Then we better get going." Akihiko started walking, nudging Makoto's shoulder as he walked past her. When she didn't budge, he turned around. "You want to be on time, don't you?"
She got the message. Makoto started walking, perhaps a little too fast to compensate for her initial reluctance. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize."
Makoto looked straight ahead. She could see other girls in the same uniform she wore: a collared white T-shirt, a red and black plaid skirt, and black leggings. Until she obtained the uniform, Makoto was unsure if Shujin was the place for her. When she tried it on and looked in the mirror for the first time, she knew. The outfit just felt right, so natural that she had to see through her high school years at Shujin Academy.
Akihiko's voice brought her attention back to him. "You nervous?" She looked up at him on her right side. Akihiko's short height went unnoticed by Makoto until she actually hit a growth spurt. His eyes were only a few inches above Makoto's.
"Yes," Makoto admitted. "But it's because I'm excited."
"Good. I was worried you'd be too caught up chasing Sae to find a place for yourself."
Makoto recited her new favorite fact. "Seven Sisters fell five places in the rankings this year."
"That so? Above a certain point, they're all good schools. It can't matter that much."
"You can think that, Sanada-san, because you don't have to worry about your education."
"Look at you, already planning your future. You've got it all figured out." That was partially true. Makoto already planned her schedules out for each year at Shujin, assuming the extra-curriculars didn't change and she ended up on the student council. "I know you'll love it here. I know two kids—well, not kids anymore—who graduated not too long ago. One of them loved it."
"What about the other one?"
"I dunno. He wasn't talkative," Akihiko said, his tone ensuring that the one who didn't love his time at the school wasn't to be paid attention to. "But the point stands. The talkative one loved it."
"He just graduated?" Makoto asked, getting a nod from Akihiko. "So he loved attending Shujin even with the controversial principal?"
"I, uh… Don't think he ever mentioned that."
Makoto seemed to remember discussing the 'talkative one'. Perhaps Akihiko's source kept some secrets.
"Really? There was a major PR disaster over it, with the principal's increasingly erratic and nonsensical behavior forcing administration to remove him. Things like giving some students special privileges while discriminating against other students. You didn't hear anything about that?"
"...No."
"Maybe check in on your friend and make sure he's still talkative."
"Yeah, I'm planning on it. He's got a lot to answer for." Akihiko stayed quiet during the break in the conversation. Makoto felt partially responsible because she had unintentionally revealed the dishonesty of someone Akihiko seemed to care about. Suddenly, Akihiko jumped right into a new subject. "Hey, how's the new apartment treating you? I've been meaning to—"
"It's good. I have my own bathroom."
"That's a dealbreaker. Good for you." Akihiko looked down at Makoto. She didn't meet his eyes, knowing that he only looked so he could see her reaction to what he said. "How're things with your sister?"
"She's working very hard and doesn't come home a lot. Apparently, she falls asleep while studying in the university library. I tried to tell her that it's a poor study habit, but she didn't want to hear it."
"Hm…"
"And she likes her job. Her boss is nice."
"She told me just about all of that," Akihiko said. "I was more curious about how she's treating you."
It was a trick question—Sae didn't treat Makoto. She was never in the apartment enough for it. Makoto was eternally grateful for the extra work Sae was doing to put a roof over her head and pay the bills, but Makoto was on her own otherwise. Any conversations with her sister consisted of what nights she would be home for dinner and anything interesting at her job.
Sae never asked what was going on with Makoto. Either she didn't care, or she knew how little Makoto had to herself the usual habits of reading, watching TV, and studying. Makoto was happy with these things, but they were unfulfilling. She had no friends to speak of, nobody to talk to about her feelings. Even Akihiko vanished from her life for a few months until he called out her name and spun her around right into a pedestrian.
"We're fine. I think we're still adjusting to things. She's…" Makoto struggled for the perfect word to describe Sae's negligence, so she settled on the first one she remembered. "Talkative."
"Yeah, that's what I expected from her… But she's treating you right?"
Makoto had the opportunity to say otherwise. She could confess how angry she felt when Sae would sit quietly at the coffee table and give one-word answers to any conversation-sparking questions that Makoto conjured. She could tell Akihiko about the nights she cried, how she talked to her Buchimaru stuffed animal, how often she imagined her father was snoring on the couch outside her door after falling asleep watching TV.
"Yes, she is," Makoto said. Ahead of her, she saw the silver gates of Shujin Academy. Students—all in the same uniform with few exceptions—funneled themselves into the gate. Makoto could spot the staircase they ventured behind the wall that she walked along.
"Good. I'll stop by for dinner sometime. How's that sound?"
"Sounds like fun."
They stopped outside the gate. Students poured in around them, prompting a few grunts of disapproval from those who had to change their path. Akihiko shot one kid a glare and he scurried away.
"This is where I leave you, Mako-chan. You sure you're ready?"
Makoto pulled the strap of the bag over her shoulder. She ran her thumb under the strap to show off her bag to Akihiko. "I know I am. I woke up early to quadruple-check that I have everything."
"Make that a habit," Akihiko said with a nod. "You'll love high school." He held his bare hand out, letting his palm stare Makoto in the eyes. She met him with a crisp high-five.
"Thanks. I'll see you later, Sanada-san." Makoto walked away, waving over her shoulder as she joined the crowd walking towards the steps. She tried to look in either direction to witness the awe of Shujin's front courtyard, but couldn't see past the students on either side of her.
She reached the steps. Makoto had to slow because of the person in front of her lagging, but the slow pace built her anticipation. At the top of the steps, she quickly resumed her usual pace as the paths of each student diverged. Some skipped going in the front entrance to go around the side of the school, some chose to loiter outside while they waited for class, and some went straight in. Makoto chose the last option.
Inside, she was greeted with a low-ceiling entry hall. On her right and her left were an array of trophy cases, each varying in size and which trophies were contained. She saw some medals for basketball and some giant golden cups for volleyball.
Ahead of her were three things. On the left was the notice board, which already bore announcements, lists of over-achievers, and a calendar. Makoto would have to check it out sooner or later to satiate her curiosity about school events.
On the right was the school store. One poor, depressed student rested her head in her hands on the counter. Behind her were shelves of bread and other snacks. None of it appealed to Makoto.
Lastly, and by far the most striking of the three, was a stone statue in the center. It depicted a man from the chest up, focusing on his bony face complemented by thin glasses. Makoto approached the stone bust to get a closer look. For someone good-looking enough to have his likeness captured in sculpture, his hair was awfully unkempt and he didn't seem keen on smiling. His straight-faced stare went right through Makoto and out the front door of Shujin, judging whoever dared to walk up those steps.
Looking down at the plaque that hung from the bottom of the bust, she read the title aloud.
"'The Model Student'."
Makoto turned her eyes upward again so she could make eye contact with the statue. He challenged her to take every opportunity Shujin gave her without regrets. He challenged her to do better at Shujin than Sae did at Seven Sisters, then to rub it in her sister's face that—
Makoto's thoughts ran away from her, but she reigned them in with a shake of the head. She took one last glance at the odd statue and walked away.
A/N: That wraps up the flashback chapters, I hope you enjoyed them. The usual schedule of one chapter per week will resume with the next chapter posted.
