Mr. Bingley looked down.
Miss Lydia Bennet.
The manifestation of every negative comment his sisters had ever made about the younger Bennet daughters.
As she floundered about in the puddle she shrieked. Some of the words coming out of her mouth were words no lady should ever have heard, let alone been able to pronounce.
Mr. Bingley shook his head. Two of his copybook exercises came to mind: 'for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap' and 'your chickens come home to roost'. He sighed. Dealing with the youngest Miss Bennet was to be his punishment for the wrong he had done to the eldest Miss Bennet.
The innkeeper and two of his workers came running up. Mr. Bingley asked the workers "Kindly assist the lady to get up" and to the innkeeper he said "This lady will need a chaperone to accompany her on her journey. Do you know of anyone who could act as such?"
The innkeeper would really have liked to hear the story behind the lady in the puddle but it was apparent that the gentleman before him would not brook any impertinent questions so he said "I don't know but my …" His good wife, who had followed him, interrupted him, as she so often did, "I know just the lady." She took off her apron and gave it to her perpetually put upon husband, telling him "Make sure Sally finishes cleaning up, and you stay out of the ale while I'm gone." The innkeeper murmured "Yes, dear" as he always did, and she said "Come along" to Mr. Bingley and she started to walk out of the courtyard.
Bemused, Mr. Bingley started to followed the innkeeper's wife, and almost forgot the lead actress in the farce in which he had found himself.
Lydia, however, would not be ignored. "What about me?" she wailed.
Mr. Bingley turned and stared at her. He then said something to her, something he had never said, and with a tone he had never used, to any of the other vexatious women in his life; and if only he had, he might not have found himself in Pyecombe, this day, trying not to curl his lip at her. "Shut up," he explained.
Lydia quit her caterwauling as she stared at him with her mouth hanging open; it appeared as if she might have recognized him. If she did, or not, was of no account; he turned away from her and hurried to catch up with the innkeeper's wife, who had not waited for him. He could hear Lydia stomping and sloshing along behind.
As they walked, Mrs. Waddon, as the innkeeper's wife introduced herself, told Mr. Bingley "Mrs. Longden is sister to our vicar's wife. After she was widowed, sadly she has no children, she became a companion who sees young ladies through their coming out until they are married. Her last charge just got married last month, very advantageously, to a baronet, so she came here to see her sister for a bit of a holiday. Just the other day she stopped in at the inn to enquire about a seat on the stagecoach to London so I'm sure she'd be happy to chaperone your… " here she paused, inviting Mr. Bingley to disclose his relationship to Lydia, and when he did not bite, she concluded "to London."
Mr. Bingley thanked her for her recommendation and thought to himself that if he stayed in this village for more than a day, she would somehow discover, and be willing to tell one and all his whole history.
After a quick parade down the high street, past an audience of curious onlookers, picking up a posse of children and dogs along the way, they arrived at the gate of the vicarage.
Mr. Bingley looked at Lydia - she was still dripping - and told her to wait at the gate.
Mrs. Waddon knocked on the door and when a maid answered asked to see Mrs. Longden. When that lady, an amiable looking, middle aged, woman appeared, Mrs. Waddon said "This gentleman here needs someone to chaperone that young lady there …" she pointed at Lydia down by the gate "… to London today and I thought of you."
Mrs. Longden considered Mr. Bingley. He looked to be a proper gentleman, although a little exasperated. She did need a ride to London, and a gentleman's coach would be much more comfortable than the stagecoach. She thanked Mrs. Waddon for the recommendation and said to Mr. Bingley "I would be happy to accommodate you, sir, if you could give me a few more details."
It was clear that Mrs. Waddon would like to hear a few more details as well so Mr. Bingley said to her "Thank you for your trouble, Mrs. Waddon. Would you please ask my men to bring my coach here in about …" he thought that Lydia would need some clean clothes and likely a bath "… an hour and a half." He gave her a half-crown and she left.
When Mrs. Waddon reached the gate Mrs. Longden said "If you please, I would like to know what is going on, Mister?"
"I'm sorry, my name is Bingley. I am acquainted with the family of that young lady. It seems that she was in the process of eloping this morning – I overheard 'Gretna Green' mentioned – when her erstwhile lover abandoned her at the inn and then absconded on the stage to London."
"So, you are rescuing her."
"Not at all, I am merely providing her with transportation back to her father's estate, near Meryton, which is about twenty-five miles north west of London. I was planning to stop at Horley tonight, then London the next night, and then deliver her home the day after. If you are prepared to take on her chaperonage, I would offer you twenty pounds."
Mrs. Longden tilted her head. "So much? That is almost half a year's salary for me for only three days work."
Mr. Bingley smiled at her. "You haven't met Miss Lydia Bennet yet."
"A hoyden then."
"Very much so"
"Well, hoydens are something of a specialty of mine. My last three clients were widowers who had very spoiled daughters to bring out so I do not think Miss Bennet will be a problem. I must ask why you do not anticipate leaving for an hour and a half. I can be packed and ready to go in half of an hour."
"When Miss Bennet parted ways with Mr. Wickham, he pushed her into a rather dirty puddle. I assume her trunk was already on the stagecoach when it left without her. So, she's going to need a bath, I'm going to have to purchase some clothes for her somewhere, and I suppose I should send her father an express."
Mrs. Longden held up a finger. "Give me a few minutes to speak to my sister; I will be right back," and she went back into the house.
After less than five minutes she returned with her sister, Mrs. Little, and Jennie, her sister's maid of all work. After introductions, she said "A bath is being drawn for Miss Bennet; luckily it is laundry day today so there is plenty of hot water. Jennie appears to be about the size of Miss Bennet; she is willing to supply Miss Bennet with sufficient clothing to get her home. I would think that a pound, in addition to her keeping Miss Bennet's dirty clothes, would be sufficient compensation for Jennie."
Jennie nodded her agreement.
Mrs. Little said "You are welcome to use my husband's desk to write your express."
Mr. Bingley walked to the gate to fetch Lydia. He expected to find her on the boil; as he recalled, she had quite the temper. He found her almost blubbering. The gang of children that had followed them to the vicarage were taunting her, 'Missy wet herself, heh, heh, heh', and the like. He roared "Begone, you hellions!" and feigned a charge towards the children. They ran away shrieking.
He almost felt a tinge of sympathy for Lydia but he tamped it down. Her chickens were coming home to roost. "Follow me" he said to her and then led her up the walk.
At the door Mr. Bingley performed the necessary introductions. "Ladies, may I introduce Miss Lydia Bennet, of Longbourn, in Hertfordshire. Miss Bennet, this is Mrs. Little, your hostess and mistress of the vicarage here; this is Mrs. Longden, her sister, and the lady who will act as your companion on your trip back to Longbourn; and this is Jennie, Mrs. Little's maid of all work."
Lydia surprised Mr. Bingley by bobbing a credible curtsey although she mumbled her 'pleased to meet you.'
Jennie asked Lydia to follow her. As she led Lydia around the corner of the vicarage towards the servants' entrance, she could be heard saying "Come along, Miss Bennet. There is a hot bath waiting for you and some clean clothes. You will feel much better after you have changed."
Mrs. Little led Mr. Bingley through the front towards her husband's study where he could write his express to Mr. Bennet.
