This was a pretty hard chapter to write and I hope it did it well enough. Thanks so much for so many reviews! And I am glad you like the first chapter of The One. It's been in my head since... well, since Belle and Aden's wedding actually but there were just too many stories going on to write it until last month! Oh, and a random sidenote... does anyone (assumption British) remember Laura White from The X-Factor? I met her last night and she was soooooooo lovely! I'm still giddy from the conversations, hugs, photos, giggles, freebies... (I won a competition!) And I'm still so giddy that I just had to tell you about it, even though it has nothing to do with anything! Anyway, on with the story... Love, IJKS xx.

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Chapter Eighty-Five

Three days later, Ruby left school early and headed over to Charlie's house. She knocked on the door and let herself in with the key she still had, calling out Leah, Charlie and Joey's names. Nobody answered, which was exactly what she'd been hoping for. Closing the main door behind her, she stole into Charlie and Joey's room. A wave of sadness hit her. Once upon a time, going into their room would have been natural. She'd spent many a lazy Saturday chilling with them in pyjamas but now, she felt like a stranger in the place she'd called home for a year. She'd spent several years at boarding school, something Charlie hadn't really liked and nor had she. This house had become as homely as her childhood home. She'd loved living with Charlie. She'd believed that they were the Buckton sisters, ready to take on the world together. To think that their relationship had been a lie, still hurt her. She wondered if they would ever get back to being siblings, or if they would go forward and be mother and daughter. However, she feared that they would now remain stuck and lost in the in-between. Charlie and Joey's room was immaculate. She looked around, having come for a specific reason. She scanned the bookcase and opened several drawers but didn't find what she was looking for. Crouching on the floor, she peered under the bed and pulled out a box.

"Bingo," she said to herself as she opened it up and found Charlie's yearbook inside.

Sitting on the bed, she opened it up, scanning every page for a reference to the name 'Bledcoe'.

"What are you doing?"

Ruby jumped in fright and dropped the book. Joey stooped and gathered it up, eyeing Ruby suspiciously.

"I didn't know you were home," the teenager squeaked.

"I just got back," Joey said. "What are you doing?"

"I was just... I was looking through Charlie's yearbook."

There was no point lying. The truth was there, plain for both of them to see.

"Why?"

Ruby sighed.

"I was trying to find my father," she admitted.

This time, Joey sighed. She picked up the yearbook and came to sit beside her on the bed. Silence fell between them as Joey pondered her next question.

"You're not going to try and find him in real life are you?" she asked, studying the younger girl's face.

Ruby swallowed and denied it in far too high a pitched voice for it to be the truth.

"Ruby..."

"I just want to know where I come from," she said.

Joey opened up the book and found teenage Charlie's face. She pointed.

"That's where you come from," she said firmly. "You come from a beautiful, caring, loving, wonderful woman. That's all you need to know."

Ruby studied the face she knew she well and sighed heavily.

"Charlie's only one half of me," she said. "I've got a Dad out there that..."

"He's not your Dad," Joey interrupted.

Ruby was taken aback. She'd never known Joey to be so forceful.

"That man, that boy, whatever... he's a monster, Ruby. He violated Charlie. He hurt her. You're nothing like him. You don't need to know him."

"But..."

"If you bring that man back into Charlie's life, you will lose her forever."

Ruby shrank back, paying attention to the warning. She didn't want to hurt Charlie. She couldn't bear to lose her.

"I won't... I won't expect them to have dinner and drinks together or anything," she said. "I just..."

Joey put the book aside and turned to face what was essentially her step-daughter.

"Do you know what rape means, Ruby?" she asked.

"What? Of course I..."

"No," Joey said. "Rape is a word that gets thrown around so much that it starts to lose its meaning. 'He raped her', 'he raped him'... it's not strong enough. Rape is soul destroying. It's violent, it's cruel, it's viscous. People talk so much about the emotional trauma but at the heart of it... put in simple terms, it hurts. I have never experienced anything so painful in all my life. It... I don't think it's something I'll ever get over. Even with Charlie, even loving her so much, it took a while for me to feel comfortable with her in any capacity. I thought Robbo had destroyed me forever. If it wasn't for Charlie, he would have."

Ruby held her breath, waiting for her to continue, fighting the tears forming in her eyes.

"He waited for me to be alone. He cornered me. He got off on my fear. He pinned me down and he forced himself inside me. He didn't belong there. I wasn't ready for him. I didn't want him. But he didn't care. That was what he enjoyed the most. He penetrated me until I bled. He did it while I screamed and cried and failed to push him off me. Then he finished and he laughed."

Joey fought her own tears. It wasn't something she talked about, not even with Charlie. It was still too much for her heart to take.

"Only a monster could do something like that, Ruby," she said. "That's what this man that you're so desperate to find, did to your Mum. That's what he did to Charlie, the Charlie I know you still love. She was a virgin when it happened. He broke her – physically and emotionally. For all intents and purposes, I was a virgin when it happened to me. I'd been with a couple of girls before but never a man. And I never wanted to be with a man. I can't even begin to describe the pain. I can't describe the suffering."

She took Ruby's hands and looked her in the eye.

"Please, please don't do this," she said. "Please leave it alone. I get that you want to find your roots but I swear it's not going to help anyone. It won't help you. And it'll destroy Charlie. She acts like she's keeping things together but everything is hanging by a thread right now. I'm doing everything I can to keep her together, to keep her safe but I can't do it alone. And I know you're hurting but if you can't help her right now, please, please don't make it worse."

Tears finally escaped Ruby as she pictured the hell both Joey and Charlie had been subjected to. She felt sick. Suddenly finding her father seemed like a terrible idea. And yet in the back of her mind, despite the conversation, the yearning was still there and she didn't know what to do about it.

"Are you going to tell Charlie about this?" she asked worriedly.

"I can't keep secrets from her," Joey replied. "I won't lie. Secrets and lies are how we got here."

Ruby nodded, worrying that Charlie would fly off the handle when she realised what Ruby had been thinking about. She took a deep breath. They both looked up when Charlie appeared in the room.

"What's going on?" she asked in confusion.

"We were just having a chat," Joey said, deciding to go into the details later.

Charlie looked nervous and unconvinced. Joey stood up and hugged her.

"Coffee?" she asked.

Charlie nodded, feeling on edge and let Joey guide her out of the room. Ruby hesitated for a moment, opened up the yearbook and found Bledcoe's name and photograph. Slamming the book shut, she put it away and back under the bed. Then she joined Charlie and Joey in the lounge.