Disclaimer:
Mr. Lucas, I write this, guided by the Force… or Muse… or whatever. Mrs. J.K. is riding along. For free of course.
Previous:
Padme waved her arm, inviting them in: "There is room enough to accommodate you all, as Master Qui-Gon surely reported."
Great, now I have to impress the monks and nuns. I'll bet they will freak out if I collect some more rubber chickens.
4 Hyperlane road trip.
I nudged Padme: "Let's make a stop at the Jedi Temple, if they don't have any luggage, they will begin to smell bad after a few days."
Aayla and Barriss looked offended by that comment, I am right, no? A week in the same clothes, and they even train in them those days, it will get them to smell something bad in a day or two.
Qui-Gon said: "That would be helpful, it will only delay your departure by thirty minutes."
Padme nodded: "I'll inform the captain."
I grinned at Aayla and Barriss: "Yeah, we can't have smelly girls around our Queen, she has a sensitive nose."
Padme slapped my arm: "Behave, Ani, they are our guests."
Both Padawans looked smug at me. Meh, they can have this small victory.
Xxxxx
A half-hour later we left Coruscant behind us. We shuffled the rooms around, I expanded one a few sizes more and conjured some inner walls, to divide the male and female Jedi.
At dinner, they noticed that Frogman wasn't on board. I commented: "The Gungan must have lost his coin."
The truth is, on the way to Coruscant that frog was too nosy for my liking, and his clumsiness felt more as an act. In the movie, he was the one to give Palpatine power over the Senate, and in several fanfictions, he was a junior Sith. Therefore, when Padme activated her coin, everyone but the Frogman ported into the ship. I spelled all the coins to port the ones with Frog DNA 1000 miles away, vertically. By the time he reaches the surface, he will be a frozen Popsicle, or will he burn when he enters the atmosphere? Go in orbit? Either way, the frog is gone. Mesa no sorry.
After dinner I started my first lesson with the Jedi, the Padawans will act as volunteers for my tortu… experiments. Aayla is fifteen years old, Barriss Offee is only eleven, the brat is in her first week being a Padawan, which makes you question the sanity of her Master to take her along to a crisis situation. Obi-Wan is 24-25. Meh, well, never question a Jedi's logic, they have none.
The Jedi asked to be taught in their room, that is all good for me. When I entered the room, I noticed the setting, the almighty Jedi in a half circle on chairs, and the poor little Ani had to stand in the center. A power play, I solved it by conjuring a table and a chair that made me a bit higher than them, that is my answer to that power play.
I winked at the Padawans and said: "Never let them intimidate you, if you can change the setting to your advantage, you certainly must do that. Now that I am looking down at them, I feel that I am almost ten years old."
Obi-Wan nodded: "Getting a table and chair out of thin air helps too."
Aayla asked: "How did you do that? I thought it was not possible to do that with the Force."
I shrugged: "I call it Magic. Scientists probably can name the energy I use to do this, but I go with the name Magic. Does this answer satisfy you Padawan?"
Barriss added: "I heard you changed a Sith's lightsaber into a naked dead bird, is it still that way?"
I paled: "I certainly hope so, or that thing will mess up my backpack!"
I rushed to my room and opened my backpack, the chicken was still a chicken, thank Merlin, or the Force, or whoever. I took the rubber chicken out and brought it along to the Jedi.
I showed it: "Yep, still a naked bird. Now, Master Qui-Gon, do you remember where that red goat boy had his hands on that bird before you cut him in half?"
Master Qui-Gon answered: "He held its feet Anakin, why do you ask that?"
I took the chicken by the paws and canceled the spell: "It would hurt pretty bad if I hold the red part of that glowy stick. Now how do you turn this thing off? Ah, the red button? Crap! Now I have two glowy sticks? There it is! That slider… how do I connect the parts together… Done! That didn't seem too hard to do that stuff."
Master Vos asked: "Can I hold that weapon to examine it please?"
I smiled: "Yes, for a minute, but beware that it doesn't turn you to the Dark side, they have cookies, you know."
That joke didn't land right. Master Luminara fumed: "It is not proper to make jokes about the Dark Side boy. Too many of us succumbed to the Dark side. It is not funny at all."
I shrugged: "I did not turn them to the Dark side Master Luminara, if you want to blame someone, it is the Jedi themselves that forced them to the Dark side."
Before Master Luminara could explode, Qui-Gon asked: "Can you explain Anakin?"
I started the explanation: "You trained them to believe that when they feel rage, they are turned to the Dark side. You did not train the children to control their emotions, you trained them to suppress them. So when they finally discover anger and rage, it amplifies tenfold."
I looked at Aayla and asked: "When you find out that they killed the relatives you love, will you still feel at peace? Or Master Luminara, when you see your Padawan abducted and taken away by pirates, and the Council forbids you to engage them because they belong to a powerful Hut outside the Republic?"
The Masters felt uncomfortable, those examples actually happened.
I continued: "How many Padawans left the Jedi because their love for another Padawan or Knight was discovered and punished? How many turned? Worse, you abduct babies from loving parents to train them into emotionless droids, more than 50% of them you throw away to turn them into farmers. How many of them turned Dark? Is it so hard to train them into Jedi?"
I ripped the band-aid and exposed the scars. It must have been too close to the truth because the Masters didn't know where to look from embarrassment.
Obi-Wan asked: "Why do you think our way is so bad? It is trained this way for centuries!"
My look of pity made him uneasy: "For centuries, yes, but what was taught before that? For thousands of years? The Jedah of old did marry and had children, yes, some of them got lost in grief, but it is the task of his fellows to guide it back to normal as normal people from all races do. They had emotions but controlled them, they loved and had passions, and they gave it a part in their lives."
I glanced at the Masters and asked: "Why did they throw all these values away and accepted this perversion of a Code? Was it because a Sith triggered a few Masters into Madness, and tricked the Council to change the code?"
Master Vos asked: "How old are you Anakin? You speak like a man that experienced a long life."
I shrugged: "Wisdom has no age, Master Vos, you can find fools from 3 years to 103 years old. Just like wise men or women. I am born with knowledge and skills, because of that I matured faster. Does this answer satisfy you?"
He sighed: "It does, for now, young Anakin. You may leave, you gave us much to think about."
I am free! I hope they swallowed all the bullshit I spouted out. Most of these theories I read in fan fiction. Are they true? Who cares, let them meditate for a bit, this way I can plan for our upcoming fight.
Xxxxx
I decided to bug Padme for a bit. I found her next to her decoy and asked: "Princess, did you know that what you are doing fools no one? Oh, maybe the Jedi can be fooled."
Padme was puzzled: "What do you mean, Ani?"
I explained: "Well, the security usually has cameras with facial recognition and voice recognition. Combine it and you are fooling nobody, they just humor you, that's all."
I wouldn't know, I read about it in a fan fic. It makes sense though, if it exists in our world, they must have it too, they are thousands of years ahead. Or so they say.
Padme looked embarrassed and asked: "When did you know?"
I shrugged: "The first day, your handmaidens focused more on you than on Sabé. If you want this to work, I heard you can confuse the cameras with makeup that is not symmetric, so your fancy makeup isn't fooling anyone. For your voice, I bet there are devices that make your voice the same as someone else."
Again, I saw that on TV once, is it true? Dunno, don't care. It messes with their minds and that is enough. I am curious what their makeup is going to look like.
Yané ruffled my hair: "You lose points if you embarrass us too much you know? No fair maiden likes to be taken for a fool. If this is your way to woo a girl, you will stay a bachelor until someone takes pity on you, in twenty or thirty years."
I grinned at Yané: "Are you really planning to play hard to get for so long? I might skip you in favor of Rabé, you know, she is pretty too… very pretty."
Yané chuckled: "Really Ani? Didn't you say this morning that you will go for the full set? What changed?"
I sighed: "I did say that Yané, but I realized I am too greedy, and you have to agree that eight wives are a bit much. I have fun practicing my flirting though. How am I doing so far?"
Sabé laughed: "Ask us in four or five years Ani. Flirting when you are nine is cute, but nothing more."
I protested: "Hey! I am Nine and four months! And I have skills! You can ask Aola and Shiri, they taught me a lot about the female body! Both of them even said I am above average in pleasing a woman."
That made the girls quiet down. Carefully Padme asked: "They taught you? To please them?"
I shrugged: "It started when Shiri went to Mum's room to thank her for sheltering them and giving them a chance at a better future. The screams from Mum woke me up, so Aola got in my bed to comfort me. When we were sleeping, I must have done something with her Lekku, because she came screaming too. It went out of control after that. So yeah, they taught me plenty."
Eirtaé complained: "That is not fair! This kid has more experience than us combined."
I grinned: "I will ask them if they are willing to tutor you on this trip, ok?"
I got to make them blush like little virgins… they Are little virgins, and evil me is turning them to the Horny side of the Force!
I got serious: "You know Princess, even if Palpatine has his residence on Naboo, he is still the Senator of the Chommel Sector, I am certain he has properties on those 37 other planets too. That is a lot of power for one Senator. He is a dangerous man. Did you feel him using The Force on you? That is something the Jedi must know."
Padme nodded: "Sometime tomorrow we will tell them, thank you for reminding me Ani."
To change the subject I asked: "Princess? Do you know how much a ship like this costs? I like this model it is so much prettier than those ugly things from the Corellians."
Padme answered: "This is our own design, Ani, our Theed Palace Space Vessel Engineering Corps designed it and build it for the Royal House. We used the parts from the Nubian Star Drives Incorporated. These models are not for sale, they are strictly for the Naboo Royal House and Royal Guards."
That is nice! I can buy my own building packet and design something of my own. I asked: "Do they accept Pegats? I have plenty of those in my backpack, is there a catalog? I can't wait to build my own ship."
Sabé said: "The Nubian Star Drives Incorporated is only trading with high-end customers, Ani. We better focus on how to survive the blockade. Do you have any advice for us on that?"
I did my Sage pose again, I am getting better at that and answered: "Hook up with the Gungan, they have a secret City on the ocean bottom. Going to war with them will create bonds of friendship. I will take care of the ship that controls the Droids. Your army and the Gundams will attack as a diversion, while you go for your throne room to capture the leaders of the blockade."
I grinned at them and said: "Now, do I have to tell you what clothes you need to wear tomorrow, or can you handle that yourselves?"
Yané slapped my arm: "Don't get cocky, you brat. I say it again, I like the old you better."
I teased: "Yané? If I turn myself into the old dude, can I get a kiss?"
Yané blew a fuse: "Get your mind out of the gutter you brat! No, you can't have a kiss."
I shrugged: "Ok, ok, don't bite my nose off, how could I know you are picky of who you kiss?"
Padme killed the comedy and asked: "Are you certain that you can handle the control ship, Ani? They are heavily guarded."
I nodded: "I have a way, but I like to keep it a secret."
I grinned at Yané: "Only my wives are allowed to know that secret."
Yané shrugged: "I'll be happy for them. I am not That curious."
I looked into her eyes: "Liar. Princess, can you ask the captain if I can work on his ship for a few days? That will get you on Naboo without getting shot out of the sky."
Padme asked: "Will it endanger our journey, Ani? changing a spaceship while in Hyperspace is dangerous, and could destroy us."
I shook my head: "No, I have to engrave the hull of the ship, when we drop out of Hyperspace, I will activate it. There is no direct danger… promise?"
Padme sighed: "I will ask the captain tomorrow, Ani, it is getting late, we should go to bed."
I took a bow: "Goodnight, my Queen, and beautiful handmaidens, if you happen to dream about me… I am more awesome in real life."
I ran out to have the last word, I got half of them giggling, I'll take that as a win. I am a pre-teen, so I have to get my fun from somewhere. Playing a horny kid will get their minds off their problems for a bit, and who knows what can happen in a few years? I can end up alone or shagging them all. I hope the latter.
I snuggled between Aola and Shiri in bed and… did nothing, having Mum in the same room is a mood killer, therefore I settled with a titty pillow and some Lekku rubs.
Xxxxx
At breakfast, the captain gave his permission, after tripling his ship in size, he was curious what I am coming up with.
I comforted him: "It will be safe, Captain, I do need a word with your pilot before we drop out of Hyperspace to explain a bit."
Qui-Gon asked: "Ani? Can I have a sample of your blood? I want to count your midi-clorians."
I nodded: "You may have a sample, but I want it back. I can already tell you that the Midi-clorians don't matter to me. My Magic is outside the Force."
Aayla scoffed: "There is only the Force, boy! We meditated all night on it and came to the conclusion that The Force is still guiding us. There is no Magic, just empty tricks. You… woof woof… woof… WOOF? WOOF!"
I nodded: "I'll call you Fido. Fifi was a beautiful white poodle, a blue one? Definitely a Fido… no that is a male name… Fida? Yep, a Fida will do."
I looked at Master Vos: "Teach the girl some manners, Mater Vos, she might turn to the Dark side if she keeps insulting everyone. Quit barking girl, the spell will wear off in a few hours, if you keep making noise it will be a few days."
Master Luminara stood up: "Is this harming Padawan Secura, Anakin Skywalker?"
I shrugged: "No, Master Undull, I am teaching her a lesson, there is more in the Universe than the Force. I hoped you would have realized that by now. Hiding behind the slogans of your Temple won't work."
Qui-Gon sighed: "We can't overturn our values overnight, Anakin. It takes time. Most won't accept your view."
I answered: "As a wise blue-skinned woman once said: You can't fill a cup that is already full. I presented my view and knowledge, what you do with it is up to you. Wait, I'll throw one more bone, did you know that Senator Palpatine is a Force user? He tried to convince my Queen to make a vote of no confidence at the Supreme chancellor. Ask Sabé, she noticed it too."
Padme, Sabé was posing as the Queen, answered: "I saw it, even felt it. Palpatine got feedback from it and was pushed back. Is he a Jedi that is working undercover, Master Qui-Gon? You must have noticed he uses the Force, he spent years in Coruscant… Just next door to you."
Qui-Gon paled, the Sith that was living next door to the Jedi is a Senator? What plans and machinations did he start? He must inform the High Council at once!
Master Vos asked: "Are you 100% certain Senator Palpatine is a Force user miss Sabé?"
Padme answered: "100% Master Vos, I saw him using it at our advisor with the same backlash."
Qui-Gon stood up and excused himself, practically running out of the room.
Master Luminara asked me: "Do you have any other revelations to make, young Anakin?"
Annoyed I said: "Plenty, Master Undull, you won't like most of them though. For example, your Count Dooku turned Dark some time ago, he lost his trust in the Order, can you believe that? Or, Senator Palpatine and his Master put a shroud on the Force to hide the Dark Side of the Force. You were living next door to a Sith, thinking the Force is with you. Poor fools."
That is the second Master that leaves the breakfast table, I looked at Master Vos: "Do you want more?"
Master Vos shook his head: "I am afraid to ask it, young Anakin, but, you can tell me if you want."
I comforted him: "Don't be afraid Master Vos, that leads to the Dark side. There are plans within plans to destroy the Jedi, in the end, the Jedi will destroy themselves by their hubris. Although with my revelations just now, it can be diverted. You should move your kids to a safe planet, a secret one preferably."
Aaaw! The bitch bit my leg! The nerve of that bitch! I glared at her and said: "I am going to give you some commands, if you don't do them, you will stay like that for the whole trip. Are we clear? Now SIT!… good girl! LAY DOWN!… very good girl! ROLL OVER!… that's it! Now BEG! That's my girl! Here is a cookie. You see Master Vos, I taught her the basic commands. She can be trained if she puts her mind to it. Here... you are back to a sexy Twi'lek again."
With a huff Aayla sat down, Obi-Wan asked: "Aayla? How did it feel to be turned into a canine mammal?"
Aayla tried to Force kill Obi-Wan with her eyes and said: "Ask the brat to change you, and you will find out yourself, Obi-Wan!"
Mum said: "Ani, stop bullying the Padawans, please. This trip will last a week, so make friends with them."
I nodded: "I will, Mum, Aayla? Do you want to be my friend? I can teach you some tricks if you want to… I am talking about Force tricks girl! Put that lightsaber away, man, you are touchy."
Can you believe she refused? If she keeps this up she surely will turn to the Dark Side.
Xxxxx
I spent the rest of the day carving Runes in the hull of the ship, followed by the Padawans, little Barriss… I know she is older than me, did most of the questioning, Aayla did most of the pouting, and Obi-Wan tried to analyze the positions of the Runes.
Most of the Rune-clusters were a combination of five major spells, Unbreakable, Lightweight, Deflect, Unplottable, and Reflect. A solo cluster was for turning the ship invisible, with a regulator to turn it on and off. This ship is a good practice tool to sharpen my skills, if some of the runes fail, then I have at least learned some of it. What I already learned was to engrave the Runes when the ship is getting constructed, some of the spaces were very narrow.
The Padawans were most amazed at how easy it was for me to engrave Runes on the Hull of the ship, the alloy of the hulls from spaceships is extra hard and strong. It took a lot of practice to soften the first layer one-tenth of an inch, enough to do my scribbling and harden it after.
Xxxxx
Qui-Gon almost had a heart attack, I have 25 000 Midi-clorians! I have more than the green house-elf! Suck it Yoda! Aayla saw blue of envy… I think she is feeling envy, she still is mad at me though.
At dinner, Qui-Gon said: "With that count of Midi-clorians, you have to be taught by the Jedi. We can't let a talent like that go to waste."
I protested: "There is no way in the whatever Hell the Jedi go to that I will become a bloody monk! I want to live! I want to love! And eventually, I want children! What can the Jedi offer me? A perverted way to suppress my emotions and swing a glowing stick around? No fucking way!"
Mum scolded: "Ani! No cursing in the Queen's presence, apologize at once! Master Qui-Gon, Ani will not join the Jedi, if you haven't noticed it, his Magic is more powerful than your Force. Forcing him to join the Jedi will be the cause of disaster."
Padme came to my aid: "I gave Smi, Ani, Aola, and Shiri, Citizenship on Naboo. They are under my protection, especially Anakin, his actions and help are enough to warrant it, and isn't he too old to join?"
Master Luminara said: "You are right, the boy is too old, the council will not allow it. I doubt the Temple will survive a visit from him. His revelations are already causing big ripples through the Force."
Qui-Gon pushed further: "There is a prophecy, that a Chosen One will bring balance in the Force. That is more reason to teach the boy the way of the Force."
I laughed: "How stupid of you to believe that, Master Qui-Gon! Tell me, what is Balance? Two or three Siths to ten thousand Jedi? What do I have to do to balance that out? Kill all the Jedi so that there are only a handful left? Is this the task of the Chosen One?"
I read that argument in a fan-fic, and it made sense to me, and it was exactly what Anakin did in the movies. Most of all, I want to fuck girls, not masturbate over them alone in bed. My time in Westeros already proved I was a clumsy swordsman… hey! Maybe I can make a glowy hammer? And a shield of Vibranium… no that is the wrong franchise… prick, I think it was named, stupid name though.
My comment on how to bring balance freaked the Jedi Masters out, explaining it my way shook their house of cards. It is unsettling, to hear a little snot tearing their values to shreds.
To calm the waves, I commented: "If I am the chosen one and to bring balance, then my arguments are true. Denying you have emotions or refusing to feel them is not balanced, nor is letting them rule your life. Well, Master Qui-Gon? Am I still chosen, or will you look for someone else?"
Master Vos answered: "You gave us a lot to meditate about, Young Anakin."
I shrugged: "Don't include your Padawans in your meditation, they already were meditating last night, two nights in a row will get them hallucinating, and see blue aliens… Ah, green… you know what I mean."
Aola said: "Ani is my and Shiri's chosen mate. He and Smi saved us from a horrible life and gave us a home and love. Wherever they go, we will follow. And to see and feel Ani's Magic is awesome!"
Score! I bagged my first wives! at the age of Nine and four months, this one became a Man... sigh, I can't even say fuck, because I can't get it up yet.
Xxxxx
It got the Jedi off my back, the drive to examine me was gone, they limited it to make me do some small tricks, and have the Padawans follow me around while I Runed the whole ship.
The day before our arrival, I explained the new functions of the ship to the pilot, Captain, and the five maidens with their Queen.
I said: "The moment we go out of Hyperspace, I will activate the Runes. The Magic of the Runes makes the hull twice or thrice more durable, Damage will be deflected or even reflected. A Rune set will make the yacht avoid detection by sensors."
I grinned: "Now the good stuff! The ship will have no weight anymore, meaning a boost in speed and maneuverability in the atmosphere, also, this switch will make the ship invisible for all. That combined with no way to detect the ship, I advise you to leave one crewmember on board or you won't find it back anymore."
I said to the pilot: "You have to calculate the loss of mass in your piloting, I doubt the inertial dampers can handle the G forces if you turn too fast."
The captain processed my explanations, finally, he said: "Those gifts are priceless, young man. Is there a reason for this generosity? Coming from Tatooine, I doubt you do a lot of charity."
I shrugged: "Two main reasons, captain, my Mother, Aola, and Shiri are on this ship, I want them safe on Naboo, getting shot out of the sky by fighter jets is unacceptable. The second reason is to get in our Queen's good books. Being friends with the Queen will gain us more than being part of the nameless masses."
Yané ruffled my hair: "You already earned our friendship, Ani. You are a cutie and helped us a lot. We won't forget who helped us in our time of need."
Xxxxx
I held my hand on the control stone in the cockpit when the ship was about to get out of Hyperspace. I hope I didn't make any mistakes. Going out with a bang is not an option.
