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"You really think things are going to get that bad? That there's really going to be another war? Does Harry have a reason to make you worry like that? Does he know something we don't?" Hannah asked.
"He knows that he told the ministry that You-Know-Who was resurrected at the end of our fourth year and the ministry ignored him and called him a liar instead of building up the Auror ranks and preparing to fight and arresting the Death Eaters he was able to name, giving You-Know-Who a full year to recruit and train his followers for the attacks that will come, while Aunty was complaining about the cuts to the Auror budget and the reduced number of Aurors graduating. He doesn't trust the Ministry to fight the Death Eaters. We all know that Fudge will cave to their demands and allow those that are caught to bribe their way out of the charges.
Harry knows that at the Ministry, the six of them got the drop on the Death Eaters, they managed to hit each one of them with the type of spells we've been learning and it didn't do any good because the others revived them or reversed the spells or summoned back their wands for them and they were back in the fight straight away. His friends all got hurt because they weren't using spells that could fight back properly," Susan said.
"And the Death Eaters were using lethal spells against them. He watched Cedric die because even after being kidnapped by portkey after fighting through all sorts of creatures in the maze during the third task, he didn't expect to be attacked and wasn't ready to fight, defend himself or dodge quickly enough and fire back real defensive spells." Mentioning Cedric was a low blow, they'd all looked up to the older boy who embodied their house spirit, and they'd rejoiced when he'd been chosen as the TriWizard champion. They'd seen him perform some pretty impressive magic and to hear that it still wasn't enough was difficult for both of them.
"Okay then, can you teach me some spells that will fight back the way you say without risking killing anyone? Spells that aren't dark magic?" Hannah asked sighing.
"Yes, meet me in the library after dinner and I'll lend you some notes on spells and we'll find a place to practice," Susan agreed.
"Okay," Hannah agreed. She still wasn't convinced of the necessity to learn to fight like that but she was worried about what sort of spells her friend was learning and this was as good a way as any to find out and hopefully her willingness to learn something would help Susan trust her enough to listen to her and limit their learning to light spells. "Do you want me to come alone or should I bring the other girls?"
"If you can persuade the other girls to come without lying to them about what we are going to be doing then they're more than welcome, but not if they're just going to argue with me about what we need to learn and waste our time. I've been trying to convince them for a while," Susan said.
"I'll try," Hannah said, even though she knew that she wasn't going to say anything to the others until she'd seen what spells Susan was talking about and done some research of her own on them.
-o0o-
Harry and Neville happily included Luna and Susan in their regular training and Susan and Neville worked hard to learn the spells Harry was teaching them and to overcome their revulsion at casting such lethal hexes at the extremely lifelike duelling dummies the room provided, especially after Harry asked the room to make the dummies bleed like a real person would. Susan found she did fairly well at casting without hesitation and keeping on casting until the dummy had being declared unconscious when her opposition dummy was wearing Death Eater robes or looked like a recognised Death Eater but as soon as the room put the dummy into normal clothing and made them look younger or unknown she hesitated and even Neville was unable to cast lethal hexes against a dummy wearing Hogwarts robes, even if it looked like Malfoy and the Slytherins. Luna however had no trouble believing that fellow students, even classmates and younger students, could be the enemy and happily obliterated any target Harry made. It made Harry and Neville's heart ache for what the younger witch must have suffered at the hands of the Ravenclaws for her to view even unknown students and dummies that looked like her dorm mates that way.
"You need to be able to cast these spells no matter what the opposition looks like," Harry reminded them firmly. "Remember I'm not asking you to attack someone for no reason just to defend an attack made towards you without hesitation, if you're planning to cast a spell like this it's because they've or someone fighting with them has already attacked you with a lethal curse and I wouldn't put it past Voldie to recruit the current sixth and seventh year students, or to use polyjuice or glamours in an attack on the school to make us all hesitate to fight back. Draco has been having Crabbe and Goyle Polyjuice themselves into first years to hide the fact they're guarding the room of requirement when he's in it and I'm sure none of the three of them is capable of thinking of doing that by themselves, not to mention that someone has to be supplying them the potion Draco's the only one of them capable of even trying to brew something that difficult and he doesn't have time to brew the amount they're using. If someone is attacking you like a Death Eater would, then they're a mortal enemy no matter what appearance or body they're currently using."
"Harry's right, it's no use knowing the spells if we won't cast them on the enemy," Neville said determinedly as he demolished his training dummy.
The second half of the training was no easier, trying to dodge and shield as Harry cast colour change spells against them. Neither of them were willing to face him casting anything more dangerous in case their shields failed since his magic was so much stronger than theirs. A precaution that turned out very wise when Susan managed to startle him while he was targeting Neville and even his teeth and the whites of his eyes were turned neon green. Luckily Harry was able to reverse it, though he did have to set up privacy screens so Neville could remove anything he was wearing that had other spells Harry didn't know on them. Setting his clothing and the contents of his pockets to rights was more difficult, and Neville still complained that he was freaked out when he pissed and pooped neon green that night and the next morning.
Harry had to admit that he was impressed with how hard Susan worked during their training sessions and how seriously she was taking the need to learn to defend herself without hesitation. She and Neville worked well together each determined to do all they could to support Harry and not to be left defenceless. In fact, Harry found that he looked forward to and enjoyed the training sessions when Susan joined he and Neville much more than those nights she didn't come because he was training with Ron and Hermione and it wasn't just because of his feelings for the red headed Hufflepuff. She was less insecure in her spellcasting and fighting abilities than the other two members of the golden trio and he didn't feel that he had to hold back the strength of his spells against the dummies to avoid outclassing his friends and upsetting them when it was Susan, Neville and Luna. There was no covert jealousy that his spells were stronger than theirs or that he learned new offensive spells so easily and no uneasiness at the destructive nature of the spells he was practicing regularly or questioning him on whether a particular spell could be considered dark magic and why it should be considering its effects and suggesting that they shouldn't be learning it. Instead, there was a gratitude that he was willing to give so much time to helping them improve their own skills, genuine desire and determination to learn every spell that might be useful in defending themselves and their friends and family and the acknowledgement that they had the right to defend themselves with all possible means if their attacker was trying to kill them. Susan, Neville and Luna were driven to succeed by their own personal demons and they worked much harder than Ron or Hermione did and were making more progress in their spell repertoire and increasing their speed of casting without sacrificing spell strength.
Sadly, Hermione refused to consider purchasing or using a gun. "I'm not a muggle, Harry!" she insisted highly insulted at the suggestion.
"I know you're a witch Hermione, but if having a gun as a back up if you're nearing magical exhaustion helps you survive and get away or protect your parents, then isn't it worth it. I know it hurts your pride to think that you might need one earlier in a fight than Ron, Neville, Luna or I might need it, but pride's not worth dying for, Hermione. I'd be planning to learn to shoot and carry a gun if I had a muggle adult to sign me up for shooting lessons and buy me one," Harry tried to reason with her.
Unfortunately, while Neville tried to agree that it was a good idea, and Luna thought they'd be excellent for dealing with heliopaths, Ron was against it. He didn't understand what a gun could do, and was therefore suspicious of it. As far as he knew, most of the muggle things that he'd come across were the stuff in his father's workshop were rubbish and either broken, in pieces or he didn't understand that they were not able to work without connection to the electrical grid so he had a poor opinion of muggle made products. It didn't help that Harry wasn't able to make his transfigured replica work so that Ron could see exactly what he was talking about.
Harry didn't know if it would do more harm or good to show her that she couldn't shield against him long enough for help to arrive even if she had managed to send her patronus message before they attacked. He kept putting it off, unwilling to shake her self-confidence and hurt her that way without being sure it would help
While Susan's attitude and dedication to training impressed him from a learning point of view and increased his trust in her as a friend, Harry was a bit disappointed that Susan was able to ignore their feelings for each other and even seemed to put aside their friendship while they were training and treated him as a combination of tutor and sparing partner, whichever suited their current needs best. It was only in the few minutes after their training, on the occasions that she didn't leave immediately, that they got to talk about other things, and even then it was mostly training or schoolwork related. He helped her choose spells to teach Hannah and showed her how the room of requirements worked and what to think of to call up the training room with the dummies that they used, encouraging her to bring her friend up to use the training dummies when he wasn't there, because mastering the spells wouldn't do any good if she hesitated to cast them at full power against a person in a fight. Susan also listened to his concerns about Malfoy and didn't automatically discount them or accuse him of being obsessed with his blonde rival since she could feel his very real concern about the Slytherin prefect. She reminded him that Malfoy knew he had an invisibility cloak and offered advice about how to legally prove wrongdoing and ideas about how to catch him without being injured again himself or risking being caught breaking the law because she agreed that Malfoy would enjoy having him arrested and publicly humiliated if he could. They also spoke about schoolwork and things that had happened with their friends and gradually got to know each other in ways not just caused by their connection and their trust in each other to not only stand with them in battle but to be a true friend in wartime and peace time continued to grow.
-o0o-
A couple of weeks later the power of Neville's spells during training increased dramatically, though he had managed to mask the changes while in class and out in the corridors with people he didn't trust. Harry was pleased that Neville had obviously unblocked his magic without causing any awkwardness between he and Luna or any of the side effects that Harry and Susan were dealing with. Harry could tell Luna had also received a boost in her magic though it was either a much smaller boost than Neville or she naturally hid it better. He wondered whether she'd also had a block on her magic or the increase was just the bonus from being with Neville when his unblocked, but it seemed intrusive to ask.
Harry and Susan were pleased that things seemed to be working out well as a couple for their friends and helped them work on controlling the strength of their casting. Neville hadn't gained as much of a magical boost as Harry had but he still had to learn to be careful with his temper because he was still able to decimate the dummies with stupefy and Expelliarmus when he was angry or frustrated.
He and Luna joined Harry, Ron and Hermione the next night to practice further before attending DADA class. It was clear that Hermione immediately noticed the increase in Neville's magical strength and got upset. Ron, whether he hadn't noticed the change or was ignoring it because he thought it was none of their business was initially confused why she was upset, but the fact Neville had upset the girl he was not so secretly crushing on earned him some glares from the redhead.
Neville noticed that her mood was mostly directed towards him, and once he'd got control of his spells the way he wanted he and Luna made excuses to leave the trio alone to talk things over. Hopefully Ron and Hermione would talk to Hermione and help her deal with whatever issue was upsetting her, though he had a suspicion what it was and hoped Hermione didn't say anything to cause a rift between her and Ron.
"What's up Hermione, why did you act like that with Nev? I thought he was your friend, if he did something to offend you I'm sure it wasn't on purpose. You should talk to him about it not just treat him badly and expect him to understand what he did wrong. It doesn't work that way for us blokes, we're kind of thick when it comes to feelings and we need you to spell things out for us," Harry asked.
"Neville unblocked his magic," Hermione said.
"Yeah, he's been thinking about it for a while, it was his choice not to wait any longer. It's none of our business but I think he made the right decision, he will feel a lot safer taking a date to Hogsmeade now he knows he has the strength to protect her," Harry said calmly, hoping that she would leave it there.
"He was already managing the spells in class," Hermione commented.
Harry winced but had no answer, it wouldn't help to agree that even bound Neville's magic had still been stronger than Hermione's now that he was using a properly matched wand.
"He was already winning most of the duels in class, now he's going to be a nightmare," Ron added grimacing.
"No. He'll hold back his extra magic as much as he can, duelling classmates. It's not about performance in class Ron, our world is at war and he wanted to have all his magic available in case of an attack, he has nightmares that he's going to be attacked and end up in the bed next to his parents," Harry said.
"The way you hold back in Snape's class?" Ron asked.
"Yeah. There's no point letting potential enemies know all your strengths and weaknesses, and I don't want to hurt any of my friends," Harry agreed.
"Who'd he ask to help him unbind his magic?" Hermione asked.
Harry knew that the real question that Hermione wanted to ask was why Neville didn't ask her to help him unbind his magic but thankfully she wasn't willing to say that openly in front of Neville or Ron. He was honestly a bit disgusted that in spite of the fact she liked Ron romantically and she knew he liked her back though they still hadn't got around to openly admitting it to each other and going out, Hermione was willing to have sex with one of Ron's friends in order to gain a slight increase in her magic, even after he'd tried to explain to her the difference in the way the pure-blooded Ron and Neville would see her actions. He understood she was having a hard time and if she hadn't been so clear that she liked Ron, he wouldn't have had a problem with it but if this was the reason she'd put off starting a relationship with Ron then his best mate deserved better.
"It's none of our business who he chose. Probably either his girlfriend or his betrothed, but I'm not going to ask him to betray her trust, whoever it was, by asking," Harry replied. "You know that reputations are more important in the wizarding world, why would you expect Neville to hurt someone who has done him an immense favour by talking about it?"
"Neville's betrothed? But he's been dating!" Hermione exclaimed, side-tracked.
"So is Seamus but that doesn't stop him, in fact a fair percentage of the purebloods and half-bloods from more tradition oriented families are probably betrothed" Harry retorted. "I don't know if Neville is betrothed or not but he's a pureblood and his Gran is very traditional in her beliefs."
"Does Parvati know that Seamus is betrothed to someone else?" Hermione asked horrified.
"It isn't really any of our business but would be surprised if she didnt, Seamus is fairly open about being betrothed to a girl back home, it's common knowledge, I'm surprised you didn't know," Harry said. Ron nodded indicating that he'd also known but otherwise stayed out of the argument.
"But why would a girl as pretty as Parvati date a wizard who's going to marry someone else?" Hermione asked.
Harry rolled his eyes at her naivety. "Off the top of my head, maybe because she likes him, because he's good to her and takes her places and they have fun together, or because he's an amazing kisser or great in bed, though I doubt she'd admit to that even if things had gone that far, or maybe because he respects her boundaries and doesn't push for more than she's willing to do, maybe she's betrothed too and wants to date someone who knows that it can't go anywhere after Hogwarts or because sometimes it's better to date someone who's open about being betrothed instead of thinking you might have a chance at forever when you don't, or maybe she's just in love with him and willing to settle for whatever time with him she can have, I don't know the reason but like I said it's really none of my business and I'm not going to waste time speculating, plenty of people date people they don't want to marry, for all sorts of reasons, and if she wanted to tell us she would have, nobody goes into every first date hoping to marry the person they're going out with," He said firmly closing the conversation by turning and beginning to learn a new spell.
"You wouldn't act like that!" Hermione insisted.
"I don't date at all because I don't want to risk making someone a target for the Death Eaters, but if I did, I would prefer to date my betrothed if I have one rather than someone else. But I'm not Seamus or Parvati, they both enjoy dating and if neither of them is betrothed to a Hogwarts student and they're being honest about it, what harm is a little school romance going to do?" Harry retorted.
"Are you betrothed?" Hermione demanded.
"I have no idea. It's not like I was old enough to remember my Mum and Dad telling me, and I can't access the family vault to find out until I'm seventeen," Harry said tiredly. Of course, he did know that he wasn't but he'd only found that out recently because Susan had told him about finding the offer his parents made which she wasn't supposed to do unless she was accepting or rejecting it, but he wasn't willing to discuss that with anyone.
"Of course he isn't," Ron scoffed dismissively. "That's a pureblood thing and his mum and dad married for love."
"My father was a pureblood and betrothal contracts are also a way to protect family assets and prevent orphaned children being taken advantage of and I was born in the middle of a war. More of our class are betrothed than just the traditional purebloods," Harry replied.
"You're not betrothed mate! Don't worry about it!" Ron declared.
"I hope Ron's right. But couldn't you get out of any betrothal because you're the last Potter?" Hermione asked.
"That would depend on how the contract is worded but if it were made to protect me then I'd imagine it will be very difficult to meet the criteria to cancel it, because they wouldn't want my guardians to be able to cancel it or someone to force me to. It would be pretty useless otherwise," Harry replied.
-o0o-
Later that night Harry couldn't sleep and checked in with Susan to see if she wanted to talk. Unfortunately, she was in the bath. "Hi Harry, I've silenced the room so we can talk," she said aloud concentrating on their connection.
"But you're in the bath," Harry protested. Since her insistence that they weren't in a relationship he'd made every effort to keep anything that could turn remotely sexual out of their connection.
"I've got bubbles so even if you're looking through my eyes when I look down you won't see anything," Susan replied. "You might get a thrill if I decide to wash my girl bits while we're talking but I'm happy to soak and talk for a while. What's up, you seemed stressed earlier."
"Hermione noticed that Neville's magic had increased and realised he'd got rid of the binding on it," Harry said.
"Oh Merlin, please tell me she didn't ask him why he didn't ask her to do it in front of Ron," Susan said.
"No thank Merlin. She managed to hold back her questions until he left. Neville and Luna got out of there as quickly as they could. She's clearly upset that he didn't ask her, and Ron's picked up on that and is upset about it, but she didn't say anything to Neville and she didn't ask me why he didn't ask her directly either, probably because Ron was there. She asked who he chose as if I would tell her and Ron that about somebody after learning how important it is that nobody knows that a girl isn't a virgin. I've tried to tell her about the different values a couple of times and she's totally ignored me. She's a prefect so she should be passing information like that down to the younger girls," Harry said irritated.
"So what did you tell her?" Susan asked.
"That he probably asked his girlfriend or his betrothed as if they're two separate people, and that I wasn't willing to disrespect either of them enough to ask, and that distracted her nicely, but then she went off that betrothed witches and wizards shouldn't be allowed to date other people," Harry said.
Susan laughed, "Good answer. So what has you so out of sorts?"
"I was trying to convince her that she didn't need to lecture Seamus and Parvati for dating when Seamus is betrothed and that it's not her place to object. So, I was telling her that Seamus' betrothal is common knowledge and I'm pretty sure Parvati would already know and not appreciate Hermione throwing it in her face.
I was listing reasons that Parvati might still want to date Seamus even if she knew he was betrothed to someone back home and I realised that I really do want to date you, not just because this thing between us would make it too awkward to date anyone else. I really like you and I want to be able to ask you to be my girlfriend and walk around holding your hand and go to Hogsmeade together and buy you chocolates, and hang out in the library or out at the lake together or eat lunch at each other's tables, and I just can't and it's not fair to you to ask you to wait for me to defeat Voldemort and the Death Eaters, it might take years and years and who knows if I will survive," Harry said miserably.
"Fair or not, I'm not going to commit to any marriage until either Voldemort is dead and buried or I finish Auror training, possibly both. We can't date in public, but we can spend more time together like this. I'll be your girlfriend Harry. You were right before that what we were doing was more intimate than dating or friendship," Susan replied. "I really want to try going out together, I mean I understand why we can't actually go out on a date since you don't want anyone to know because of the risk of me becoming a target but I want to be your girlfriend. Maybe I could visit you and we could go out on a date in the muggle world over the summer?" Susan said nervously rambling a little.
"Are you sure, because if we try this and you change your mind again it's really going to hurt?" Harry asked. He figured he may as well be as honest as possible because Susan was going to feel his hesitation and if she didn't understand why it could change her decision.
Susan realised sadly that Harry meant that it had hurt a lot to realise that she didn't feel the same way about him as he did about her last time and he didn't want to have to face that again, and she regretted telling him she didn't think they had that sort of relationship earlier. She'd been wrong, they had had something special and she hoped they could get back to that level of trust and communication. "I'm sure Harry, I like you more than any other boy in the school. I'm not likely to change my mind, even if this connection between us fades away."
"Susan, I can't ask you to give up Hogsmeade," Harry said.
"You're not and I'm sure if I want something from Hogsmeade, then I can find friends that will buy something for me or are happy for me to hang out as third wheel long enough to get the things I need and walk me back to the carriages, or you can come with me under your invisibility cloak. As for dates, the only thing wrong with this one is that you're not in the bath too," Susan said hoping to reassure him and distract him from feeling sorry for himself.
"The Gryffindor boys' bathroom doesn't actually have a bath. I could hop in the shower but then I couldn't talk to you because the cubicles are open at the top and I can't silence one of them well enough," Harry replied.
"Stay there then, cast a warming charm on the sheets, lie back and relax and pretend you're in the bath too, you can feel the water can't you," Susan said.
"Yes but if I lie back and close my eyes I'm going to fall asleep on you," Harry warned complying.
"That's okay if you do, you need to relax more and I can feel how tired you are," Susan said. She began telling him about her day and listening to what else had happened in his feeling him start to relax.
"You need a bathtub and some muscle relaxant bath oils, they'd really help with the after training soreness," Susan commented. "Perhaps the room of requirement would make you a bath."
"I'm sorry you have to put up with that," Harry apologised.
"Don't apologise when you're working so hard to be able to keep us all safe, I was thinking of ways to help you be less sore afterwards since I only get a fraction of what you're feeling," Susan said. "But I reserve the right to complain constantly about Quidditch injuries though."
Harry chuckled. "Okay," he agreed.
Susan could feel Harry drifting, almost more asleep than awake, she soaped up the cloth and began washing herself, hoping to give him something pleasant to take into his dreams so he wouldn't have nightmares.
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed and those who followed or favourited this story for your support.
