Hunger
Chapter 9
Little, cold raindrops slid down the down the club room window Natsuki currently gazed out of. She silently thanked the clouds for keeping the rain calm, the last thing she needed on this terrible day was a storm to walk home in. By all means it should have been a pretty normal day. Trying to pay attention through classes, a food less lunch spent by her lonesome, trying to do as little as possible gym despite pleas from both the teacher and Sayori. Everything should have been fine, but it wasn't. She could easily see the courtyard fountain from here, but she refused to spend any time remembering what happened at the festival.
"If I don't want to be in a relationship then I don't have to be in a relationship." She told herself.
"Damn the consequences!"
She turned around and studied Naota for a brief moment. She hadn't seen him all day. He was sitting at a desk with Sayori. From a distance he seemed fine. His eyes weren't bloodshot, there was no dark circles beneath them either. He obviously been getting sleep. He didn't really greet anyone in the club today. Even when they shared poems all he could say about hers was "It was good. Nice job."
"Nice job?" She mocked the boy in her head. Was that really all he could say? Had he even looked over her way this entire meeting?
She turned to the window again, her arms crossed in a bitter disposition.
Across the room Yuri secretly peeked at her fellow members whilst she pretended to read. From the moment she walked in she could feel that something was off. The room seemed quieter and gloomier and that was even without the rainy weather outside.
"Monika's busy with paperwork, Sayori and Naota are working on homework together. Natsuki's just kind of pouting by the window." Yuri reflected from her silent observations.
Yuri had told herself when she joined this club that it would be a good excuse to get out her shell a little more. This just might be the perfect opportunity to get closer with her club mates. And although Natsuki could be intimidating, part of Yuri was determined to get up and talk to her.
That was easier said then done.
The other part of Yuri kept her glued to her seat for another few minutes while she built up the courage to talk to the pink haired girl. After a few minutes of frantically arguing with herself Yuri suddenly stood up. Her face flared with a strong blush as all eyes in the room were drawn to her sudden movement. Instinctively Yuri gripped her large, hard covered tome to her chest like a giant worry stone. With quick but long strides she approached Natsuki quickly before she could change her mind.
"H-Hello Natsuki." Yuri approached her despondent club mate, still clutching her book tightly to give her some cover in case Natsuki decided to blown up on her.
"Hmm? Oh hey Yuri." Natsuki replied, not really really moving her gaze or giving Yuri too much attention.
Yuri swallowed nervously, hoping the action would dislodge the words caught in her throat. "I noticed you weren't reading today..."
"Yeah I can't say I'm much in the mood today." Natsuki shrugged.
"Oh? That's too bad."
"You don't need to worry about me you know. I'm doing just fine." The shorter girl sighed, her usual fire no where to me found.
"Still... I wish I knew what you were thinking..." Yuri nearly mumbled.
"What?" Natsuki asked, managing to pick up on Yuri's soft tone.
"N-no! I meant...What I mean is. A penny for your thoughts?" Yuri stammered meekly.
Natsuki gave a dubious look to her purple maned club mate. She would be hard pressed to call Yuri a close friend. Hell they clashed and debated literature much more then they had normal conversations. When Natsuki couldn't find a ulterior motive she decided to put the claws away and try to speak to Yuri like a normal person.
She wasn't going to tell her about Naota though. Hell no. She'd rather recite poetry in front of the whole school then to ask advice on boy troubles. She took a moment to come up with a different line of questions.
"Yuri," She began slowly and carefully. "You think everything around here is just fine the way it is right?
"Oh, she must just be nervous about new club members showing up." Yuri thought. "Well yes, I think the club will be just fine with the five of us."
"Exactly, there's no reason for anything to change!" Natsuki felt a little more justified in her decision now, even if Yuri was unknowingly speaking on a completely different subject.
Yuri nodded. " But you know the only consistent thing in life is change. It's almost defines us as living beings, as time goes on we grow and change. You're not fearful of change are you Natsuki?"
"No, of course not!" Natsuki began defensibly. "But I always thought 'If it ain't broke don't fix it.'"
"I see. You know if you are having troubles adapting to any change Monika and Sayori or even Naota are all here for you. If all else fails you can even come talk to me." The taller girl rubbed her arm as she subtly insulted herself.
"Naota probably won't be a option for a while." Natsuki thought bitterly. She needed something to distract from the angry hurt building up in the back of her mind. "Is that true? You wanna be my pillar to lean on when I'm feeling down?" Natsuki gave her friend a cheeky grin.
"I- well- I mean. I can't guarantee I'll have anything useful to say but I'll try my hardest to help." As expected the flustered purple haired girl stammered over the thought.
Natsuki giggled at Yuri's reaction. "Anyways enough with all this serious talk. Tell me about the games you and Sayori played at the festival."
From across the room Sayori and Naota hovered over Sayori's math homework.
"Alright, we'll both try the next problem and then compare answers. Sounds good?." Naota explained.
"You got it!" Sayori gave a quick nod before taking to the equation before her.
Silence fell over the duo as they contemplated the math problem. Sayori finished first and folded her arms in a confident pose as she waited for Naota.
"Okay done!" Naota eventually announced, moving his paper over so Sayori could compare.
A little frown formed on Sayori's face. "They don't match..."
"Really? Let me see." Naota took both papers to compare them. " Your answer should be much bigger then that... How'd you even get that?"
"How'd you get your answer?" Was all Sayori could counter as she looked at both answers and equations.
Before long Naota spotted the problem. "Sayori, what's five to the third power?"
"That's easy. Fifteen of course!" Sayori said confidently.
"No, five to the third power isn't just five times three. It's five times five times five. Five to the third power is one hundred twenty five." Naota explained, feeling like a math teacher.
"Oooh." Sayori took her paper back to jot that down. "Thanks math-magician!"
Naota chuckled at his new nickname. "Sure thing! Now try the next one."
As Sayori began her work she continued with the chatter. "Thanks for skipping out on your manga time to help me today."
"It's not a problem, I wasn't planning on reading manga today anyways." Naota did his best to remain stoic and not think of his disastrous festival date.
"Really? Why is that? Did something happen?" Sayori asked, quickly forgetting about her homework.
"Nothing, you don't have to worry about it."
"Now Naota it isn't good for math-magicians to keep these sorta things bottled up." Sayori chided.
"What is that my name now?"
"No, but it'll help me remember how to do exponents next time. Now are you gonna tell me what's going on with you? Or do I have to mess ya up?" Sayori threatened playfully with a smile.
Naota shook his head. Of all the girls he could of grown up next to it had to be the caring but unshakable Sayori. "I'll tell you on the walk home alright? Now let's try to get a few more equations done."
The rest of the afternoon carried on at a lazy pace. Three math questions later and Monika was already signaling for the end of today's meeting. Everyone said goodbye to each other and quietly filed out. Natsuki made sure she was one of the last to leave, and she made sure the hallway was cleared before she called out to the subject that had been muddling her mind all day.
"Hey Naota!" She yelled, catching his attention just as he got to the stairs. He said something to Sayori who continued down the stairs without him. Naota walked back over to her, stopping a few steps away and silently looked at her. For a moment Natsuki panicked. She didn't really know what she wanted to say. Most of her shouting matches were against a drunk opponent, she rarely had to work out problems like this. She briefly thought of an argument she had a long time ago and it tainted her attitude.
"So what was with you today?" Natsuki asked with a snippy tone as she took her usual arms crossed pose.
"What do you mean?" Naota played innocent, although his demeanor didn't change a bit.
"You've been dodging me all day!" Natsuki glowered angrily and frustrated.
"Is this about not reading manga today? Sayori asked for help with her math homework..." Naota seemed to trail off.
"Ok, but you didn't come see me at lunch! And you barely said anything about my poem today! It's like you want to spend as little time around me as possible!" Natsuki fired off in rapid succession, fueled by memories of a friend from a long time ago.
Try as he might Naota couldn't think of a good excuse for his actions except the truth. "I just need sometime to process this okay?"
"Process? Seriously? I just said I couldn't be your girlfriend, it's not that big a deal."
"Well maybe it was a bigger deal to some of us." Naota finally admitted to the pain and depression he had been feeling all weekend.
"Well why don't you man up and get over it?" Natsuki spat her final blow bitterly.
Naota was used to Natsuki's sarcasm and general rough play. He was used to others pointing out his lack of bravery and his lack of strong physique, but hearing her question his masculinity so angrily when he'd laid himself bare before her made him feeling like avoiding her all over again.
"I feel the way I feel and if I need time I need time Natsuki. Maybe you need to get over it and accept that." Without another word Naota turned his back on his friend and briskly walked away.
With that the pink haired baker was left alone once again, aside from the rain outside she was just left with a cold silence. As the last visage of Naota disappeared down the stairwell Natsuki didn't know whether to scream at him some more or cry. She didn't like the changes today brought and it weighted heavily on her small frame.
"Why does it always have to end like this?" Natsuki wondered as she tried to regain the motivation to walk home.
A/N: Just wanted to apologize for the wait. For some reason this chapter was really hard to get just right.
