Chapter 24
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Dear Remus
I'm hurt that you seem to think so little of me.
I honestly don't know enough about the workings of the order to tell her anything, and I wouldn't. I know that even a list of the members of the order could harm innocent people if it fell into the wrong hands, especially after seeing how few of the people in Mad-Eye's old Order photograph are still alive and well. But if it's to hurt me then attacking my friends would do more than attacking some order members that I barely know and everyone knows who most of my closest friends are. I'm sick of people thinking that I can't be trusted, or that I'm some naïve kid mucking about in school as if I didn't know there was a war coming. I'm the one who's been attacked by Voldemort four out of the last five years. I know he could be hiding in the school or have his followers here trying to get to me again, and I know that it won't always be the most obvious people. That Voldemort will be looking to recruit the people I trust.
I'm training myself to fight as best that I can though none of the adults in my life seem willing to help. Making Snape the defence professor was probably a good idea in general, everyone else seems to be learning more from him than we've learned from any DADA professor except you but I wouldn't trust him to tutor me in defence even if he was willing which he isn't. He seems determined to get me expelled if possible and I spend more time scrubbing floors and toilets and cleaning armour in unearned detentions because of him than I can spend training some weeks. I'm not sure whether he's deliberately trying to make sure I don't learn enough to defeat Voldemort next time I face him or if he's just trying to make my life as miserable as possible due to blind hatred of my father. In other words, is he a cunning evil git or just a mean evil git?
Ron and Hermione continue to drive all of us insane with their obliviousness of the other's feelings or cowardliness in refusing to put themselves out there and ask the other out, I doubt there's anyone our year in Gryffindor who doesn't want to lock them in a broom closet until they admit to each other how they're feeling. At least Dad had the courage to ask Mum out, even if he was such a prat that she wouldn't give him the time of day. Ron admitted to me that he fancies Hermione and instead of asking her out he agreed to go out with Lavender Brown when she shook her boobs at him and asked him. It's hurting Hermione a lot and I've told him that but he still won't believe that she fancies him. In retaliation for him starting to date Lavender after he'd promised to go to Slughorn's 'Party Thing' with her she asked the biggest arse in Gryffindor. She regretted it and ended up spending half the evening hiding from him but it was her own fault, she knew what he was like.
Before you ask, no I didn't take a date. I don't want to put the girl I really like in danger like that and it wouldn't be fair to do it to anyone else when I wasn't serious about them. I wouldn't want to hurt her like that by taking someone else on what could be seen as a date either. Even if she knew the truth, she'd have to put up with all the gossip about it without saying anything.
Regards
Harry
-o0o-
Harry and Albus flew on their broomsticks into Hogsmeade, and Albus shrank them and put them in his pocket before they apparated away. Harry enjoyed the flight, the adrenalin of going after something that would help defeat Voldemort making it even more exciting, though he could easily have gone twice as fast if he'd been on his own. Susan wondered why they hadn't just floo'd to Hogsmeade if they couldn't apparate directly from the castle. Was Dumbledore as fond of flying as Harry was, or was he trying to make Harry thing think they had something in common or wanted to give him the thrill of night flying to make the whole expedition more of an adventure.
Albus apparated Harry to the shore, almost splinching them both because he grossly under-estimated how much power it would take to side along the sixteen year old. He knew the boy was destined to be powerful, both his parents had been well above average in power and for Harry to have been able to cast the spells to pass his OWLs as well as he did with at least two powerful magical blocks limiting his available power was nearly unheard of.
In fact, until Minerva had told him about the results of the testing at the start of the year he had assumed that Harry had found a way to break the blocks well before starting Hogwarts. Unfortunately, even the uncomfortable suspicion that one of the muggles he interacted with in his neighborhood may have raped the boy didn't prevent him from planning on sending him back there. It couldn't have been his uncle he rationalised, the wards would certainly have notified him of such a backlash of magic and he doubted that the perpetrator still had the ability to rape anybody else after Harry's magical release had taken its revenge on the harm he'd done to the boy. He had deliberately put it out of his mind but he had been relieved to know that hadn't happened to Harry and astounded by the amount of power the boy now had at his disposal perhaps Harry would be able to defeat Voldemort earlier than he had expected.
Arriving at the shore he had the uncomfortable realization that Harry's magic was already nearly as strong as his own and would probably increase to be stronger than his own over the next few years even if Severus did manage to cure the rot that was creeping up his arm. Thankful that Harry's lack of experience in side-along aparation prevented him from recognizing the reason Albus had had so much trouble transporting him, Albus shook off his shock and began explaining to Harry where they were and where they needed to go.
Harry wondered where they were, if they were even still in England since Dumbledore had had so much trouble apparating them, he wondered why the elderly wizard hadn't made a portkey, was the making of them or use of them tracked somehow that he hadn't heard about?
'I haven't heard of them being tracked, perhaps he just doesn't like them,' Susan thought back.
'Perhaps not, he normally uses Fawkes,' Harry thought.
'Then perhaps you're not as far away as you think and he just isn't good at aparating?' Susan suggested.
'He didn't have any trouble aparating me from Surrey to Devon at the start of the year,' Harry thought.
'That's only about 150 miles from Surrey to Devon, Hogsmeade to Devon is about 650, and you didn't have access to all of your magic back then,' Susan thought. Ýour magic instinctively fights being aparated by someone else. That's why parents can aparate children but most people can't aparate another adult.'
Harry accepted the reason that Albus had wanted to use his own blood instead of Harry's to get into the cave, and he was happy that he didn't need to actually row across the water with all the bodies floating under the water, but he was astonished when Dumbledore insisted on drinking the potion in the basin. He was grateful that he didn't have to drink it but Albus hadn't even considered any other alternative and there must be one. He couldn't see Voldemort being willing to drink the potion or entrusting someone else with the secret of where the Horcrux was hidden and how to get to it. Therefore, in spite of Dumbledore's much greater knowledge of magic and experience fighting dark lords, Harry knew that there had to be an alternative to drinking the foul potion but he was panicking too much to think of one. Luckily, he'd managed to warn Susan what he was doing before he left and she had locked herself behind silenced bed curtains so she could watch out for Harry. Can you conjure or transfigure a container to hold it? She asked.
'No we can't use magic in here,' Harry thought shaking his head so Susan would get the message since he didn't want to speak out loud in front of the headmaster.
'Do you have anything transfigured on you? Did it revert to its original form?' Susan asked.
Harry searched through his pockets and found a container he'd transfigured from a broken quill and held it up nodding slightly. He pulled out his wand and tried to enlarge it. 'It still isn't working,' he thought.
'Okay then, you know that if you go out of the cave and transfigure something you can bring it back in,' she reminded him.
"Sir, this vial is transfigured from a broken quill. We can't make a container in here but if we go back outside we could bring back a container to hold the potion. I'm sure that opening the cave again will cause you less harm than drinking whatever this is," Harry said to Dumbledore. He threw the transfigured vial hard against the rocks to test whether unbreakable charm was still working and it bounced off without cracking.
"I don't believe it will work Harry," Albus said in his grandfatherly voice.
"But isn't it worth a try. Or if that doesn't work, we could transfigure an animal or something to drink it. Please Sir, I don't want to poison you if I don't have to. Isn't it worth a try?" Harry begged as he picked up the transfigured vial.
Perhaps recognizing the sense in Harry's request or perhaps realising that having Harry force him to drink the potion wouldn't make feel indebted to him or form a sense of emotional connection between them unless Harry believed that there was no alternative, Albus agreed and they left the cave.
Once they were outside Harry transfigured a scrap of parchment from his pocket into a five litre jug, and Albus transfigured a couple of sweets into a puppy.
'No you don't want it to be something cute and cuddly Harry, you're going to have to force them to keep drinking even if it's hurting or harming them, it will be too hard to hurt a puppy like that,' Susan said urgently hoping Harry had enough of their link open to hear her.
"I don't think I could harm a puppy," Harry said, noticing the small smirk of satisfaction cross Dumbledore's face before Harry pointed his wand at the puppy.
'Change it into something big enough to drink it all but something you can control and tip the potion into its mouth,' Susan suggested. Harry thought for a moment, he needed something big enough to drink all the potion and not vicious enough to attack them, that he wouldn't feel affection or pity for.
Harry transfigured a rock into a cage which he put on the ground with the lid open at the top then put the puppy into the cage and transfigured the puppy into an oversized rat, casting a thirst hex and a compulsion to drink the potion. He transfigured a collar and attached it to the sides of the cage to hold the rat's head still.
"Let's go" he said picking up the rat and the jug, not noticing Dumbledores glare of anger at the rat in a cage, but Susan did and started to wonder what was going on.
Albus reopened the cavern, Harry noted that he used a much smaller cut and wondered why he'd used such a big gash across his palm the first time if a finger would do, especially since he'd used his uninjured hand both times, wouldn't it have been better to use the hand that didn't work so well and not risk disabling both. Rubbing an open wound on a dirty rock where others had used their blood before him was a huge risk for infections. They got themselves back across the lake of inferi. Using the jug didn't work but making the rat drink the potion did, though even with the thirst and compulsion if they were still working, Harry had some trouble forcing it to drink after the first couple of mouthfuls. The rat was squealing, and writhing in pain and Harry had to force himself to continue.
Harry was busy concentrating on making the rat drink in spite of its obvious pain and a little annoyed that the Headmaster wasn't helping him, but Susan was also watching through his eyes questioning everything, and she had time to notice that Dumbledore seemed unhappy that the rat was able to drink the potion. Shelving the observation for later so she didn't distract Harry from his task she watched as they were finally able to scoop up the locket and leave the cave. The inferi didn't try to stop them.
Transfiguring the rat back into lemon drops Harry offered them back to Dumbledore.
"I'm not sure they'd still be safe to eat," Albus said vanishing them with a sad look.
Albus looked at the locket disappointedly. Now they were clear of the influence of the cave he could feel that the locket and chain only had a few minor charms on them, it wasn't a Horcrux. Opening it he found a slip of paper left to taut Voldemort. Someone had taken the Horcrux but that didn't mean it had been destroyed. He had to work out who this RAB was. In his distraction he didn't notice Harry reading the paper over his arm.
"So we didn't get one?" Harry asked, disappointedly.
"No My Boy but at least whoever took it left us a clue," Albus replied trying to be positive for Harry's sake. He didn't want the boy to think that the night had all been for nothing even though he was well aware that the adventure hadn't succeeded in finding a horcrux or in his secondary objective in making Harry trust him more, they hadn't shared the comradery of lives risked together and there was no reason for Harry to feel indebted to Albus for making him drink the nightmare potion.
Albus apparated them back to Hogsmeade, once again surprised at how much power it took to do so, in spite of having experienced it earlier. They arrived back and flew up to the Astronomy tower. All was quiet and Dumbledore dismissed Harry.
-o0o-
Susan had felt Harry's disappointment and was waiting for him in an abandoned classroom at the bottom of the tower and pulled him into it as he went past, spelling the door locked and silenced.
"Susan!" Harry said, not at all worried, he'd known it was her the moment she grabbed him.
"I just needed to see that you were alright, after being out with Dumbledore doing things that you aren't allowed to talk about," Susan said.
"I'm fine, but it wasn't a horcrux, someone else had already replaced it. It was all for nothing," Harry said quietly. "Thank goodness I hadn't had to make Dumbledore drink that potion for a dead end."
"Tonight was not quite all for nothing though, you learned some things that might be important," Susan reminded him.
"Yeah. The clue in the note but I have no idea what it meant or who it was from," Harry admitted frustrated. "Did you get the chance to read it? Do you have any ideas where to look?"
"No but I wasn't meaning that, Harry. Dumbledore's actions were suspicious. He wanted to drink the potion, for some reason, or maybe he wanted you to have to force him to drink that potion, he looked angry when you transfigured the puppy into a rat and he looked disappointed when feeding the potion to the rat worked," Susan said.
"He couldn't have wanted to drink it, it was hurting the rat horribly, I was so glad that I could reverse the transfiguration and end it's suffering. You were right, I never could have hurt a puppy like that, even pretending the rat was Wormtail didn't help as much as I thought it would. Maybe he was just upset to have been wrong about something," Harry argued.
"Listen to yourself, Harry! You felt guilty that you were hurting the rat by feeding it the potion. It was just a couple of lemon drops that you'd transfigured into a rat to remind you of the rat that betrayed your parents, how much more guilty would you have felt if you'd had to feed the potion to Dumbledore and couldn't stop the pain afterwards?" Susan asked.
"You think that's what he wanted, to make me feel guilty for something? Why would he?" Harry asked thoughtfully.
"Maybe or perhaps he wanted you to feel grateful that he hadn't fed the potion to you instead and made you suffer the pain, perhaps, so you would feel that you owed him a favour or something," Susan replied thoughtfully.
"Yeah, maybe. That could also be why he cut such a huge gash across his palm to open the cave the first time just after he stopped me from using my blood when the second time when he didn't think I was watching he just nicked his finger a little bit and it worked fine. He gave some excuse that my blood is too closely linked to Voldemort's but now I think about it, that doesn't make sense. Why would my blood have been any different, Voldemort had never met me when he made that cave, I don't think that I'd even been born yet, so he wouldn't have warded it against me or anything. And even now, he took my blood in the graveyard, he didn't change or add anything to the blood still in me, it shouldn't have mattered, if I couldn't open it then he wouldn't be able to anymore either," Harry said.
"I don't think it's just about being grateful Harry, that wouldn't gain Dumbledore anything much. You don't follow someone's orders because you're grateful to them. I suspect that he wants you to feel beholden to him, to see that he was taking pain for you, to see that he was acting in your best interests so that next time he gives you an order or does something you don't quite agree with you might think that he's acting in your best interests then too because he knows something you don't about the situation. I think it was another attempt to manipulate you since he had to feel your resentment and lack of trust after the incident with looking for Malfoy," Susan replied. "That's the reason he let you go with him. I think he's trying to get you to trust him unconditionally again, at least when it comes to fighting Voldemort."
Harry processed that for a moment. "Yeah," he agreed. "It didn't work."
"No because you saw through his manipulations and were able to avoid the biggest one. Because he didn't drink the potion, you have no reason to feel guilty for hurting him or indebted that he sacrificed himself to the torture to prevent you having to," Susan said.
"Yeah, thanks to you, you were much smarter about things than I was," Harry said smiling at his secret girlfriend.
"Of course, I'm smarter than you Harry, I thought you already knew that," Susan teased. "But I think in this instance it was because I didn't have Dumbledore in front of me twinkling his eyes and giving off his 'trust me I know better than you' air. I was also safe in my bed the whole time so I didn't have the distraction of worrying about my safety or having to concentrate on force feeding the rat, I was just watching through your eyes so it was easy to be more observant than you were. You were concentrating on the rat but your brain still takes in the things you see in your peripheral vision even if you're not aware of seeing it."
"Not just that, it was your idea to go out and make a container," Harry said.
"It's odd that that didn't occur to Dumbledore, or that he didn't already have something he could've used to try to pour the potion into," Susan said.
"But he couldn't have known what we'd encounter," Harry protested.
"Unless this was the second time he'd been there, in which case he'd have known that a container wouldn't work," Susan commented.
"If he had been there before, then the whole trip was just a manipulation," Harry said slightly disappointed.
"Not necessarily, what if last time he went on his own and wasn't able to force himself to drink enough of the potion to get to the locket. He knew he needed help, someone he trusted absolutely not to tell Voldemort or the rest of the Order of the Phoenix or the Aurors. In short someone he thought he could control," Susan said. "I'm sure he was genuinely surprised and disappointed that the locket didn't turn out to be a Horcrux."
"He made me promise not to tell Ron and Hermione or Neville," Harry confirmed. "But he still could have transfigured an animal like we did, he didn't need to come back and get me. And that still leaves the question, why me? It was obvious last year that he doesn't trust me enough to tell me things, and he really hasn't told me anything important this year either in spite of promising that he'd stop keeping secrets from me. He didn't need to bring anyone and surely there's people he actually trusts that could have come instead."
"It's a good sign that he asked you not to tell Ron, Hermione and Neville," Susan said smiling.
"How is it good that he's trying to stop me from confiding in my friends. Neville won't say anything but Hermione's going to be insufferable about being told that I'm not allowed to tell her what we were doing, in spite of the fact if it was anything else she'd be insisting I did what the headmaster ordered. Ron's going to be pissed off about it too," Harry complained.
Susan laughed. "Yeah. I'm sorry that you'll have to put up with that but I mean that it was good that when he forbade you to tell the people he thought you'd confide in, he didn't mention me because it means he doesn't know about us."
Harry smiled too, "It does, and I hate to say it but we need to keep it that way. We can't trust him. If he was willing to drink that potion to manipulate me, who knows what he'd be prepared to do to you if he knew about our bond."
"We also need to try to work out who RAB was. They have to be a witch or wizard to have put the locket there," Harry said thoughtfully.
"This is to do with Voldemort, there aren't any Bones relatives or recent ancestors with the initials RA," Susan said.
"Were there any Bones or other families that's name started with B who supported the Dark Wanker?" Harry asked. "Because whoever this is, knew something about Moldieshorts that almost nobody else knew, and he called him the Dark Lord. I've only ever heard his followers call him that. It had to be a Death Eater, probably one of his senior Death Eaters."
"The Blacks are the only family I know of, but I can ask Aunt Amelia, she would know more Death Eaters than I do, I only know the ones who were caught at the end of the last war. There's no guarantee that RAB survived the war and was caught. He might have been killed or he might have been one of the Death Eaters that nobody suspected or that the Aurors had suspicions of but couldn't prove did anything." Susan said.
"Sirius Black was not a Death Eater but his brother was and he was cousins with Bellatrix Lestrange and Lady Malfoy, it could be one of them," Harry said.
"Bellatrix and Narcissa's initials don't match but there might be other family members that joined the Death Eaters, the answer might be in the Black Vaults, but you won't be able to get it until your birthday. Do you know his brother's name?" Susan suggested.
"Sirius called him Reggie. His brother died before the end of the war, Sirius said he was rumoured to have been killed by Voldemort himself for some transgression. I think he was still living at home. If it isn't among his things at the house he might have left the horcrux in his vault," Harry said.
"It would've been absorbed into the main Black Vault on his death if he wasn't married and didn't have children," "Susan replied. "He was RB, we just need to find out his middle name."
"I won't be able to check the house until I'm seventeen either, apparently I need to stay at the Dursleys until I come of age," Harry said annoyed by the fact.
"Are we going to be able to see each other at all this summer?" Susan asked.
"I would like to. It's too dangerous to meet in the wizarding world, how are you at navigating the muggle world?" Harry asked.
"I've never tried, but with your help I'm sure it will be fine," Susan replied.
"We'll have time to work on your skills, I'm sure my relatives will keep me too busy for guests or a day out for the first week or two," Harry replied. "It would be better if I met you somewhere rather than you coming to Little Whinging. Dumbledore put a guard outside the house last summer but once I know their schedule I'll be able to know when I can get away without them noticing."
Susan leant in and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I'm glad you returned safely."
"I'm glad too but I wish we'd found a horcrux," Harry replied returning the cheek kiss.
"The knowledge that Dumbledore is still trying to manipulate you, and was prepared to go through considerable pain and suffering to do it might be just as important. It's certainly very concerning. Be careful Harry," Susan said hugging him.
A/N: Thank you to all those who reviewed and those who followed or favourited this story for your support.
