Hunger
Chapter 15
For the first time in a few weeks the entire Literature club was meeting around their makeshift round table. The mood was quiet and somewhat tense rather then jovial like it should have been. Natsuki's newly minted relationship she tried so hard to keep a secret was revealed to her friends in just a single day. Monika had called a meeting right away and now contemplated at her seat with her hands folded underneath her chin. Yuri, thrown off by the room's tension, nervously served everyone a cup of tea. Sayori was still squirming in her seat, still excited to learn that two of her best friends were dating. Natsuki, still sporting a heavy blush, was too mortified to even look at anyone. Finally Naota sat looking slightly guilty. He silently hoped he didn't cause the club too much strife with his actions.
Monika slowly unfolded her hands and took a small sip of tea. "Let me make this clear right away." Her voice was understanding yet still authoritative. "I don't care if any of my club members are dating each other. It's not my place to judge. But while we're in this club room we're going to behave as you would in any public setting. That's all I ask." Monika finished with an unwavering look at Naota and Natsuki.
Naota quickly shook his head. The club president could be pretty intimidating when she was serious. "Yes, sure thing Monika."
Natsuki once again averted her gaze, but didn't offer any protest.
"Alright! Now that that's out of the way onto our second matter to discuss today. I was trying to get a bit more of our allowance from the school so that we might have a winter party. But they reminded me that some of these funds should be used for educational purposes and I agreed. So we're going to all read a book together and discuss it." Monika clapped her hands, clearly liking the idea.
Monika scanned her club mate's faces for a reaction, but no one seemed to have strong feelings either way.
"What did you have in mind for us?" Sayori broke the momentary silence.
"Nothing yet. I figured we could spend today looking around the library. I'll take down any ideas or suggestions you guys have and we'll pick a title to order copies of at the end of the day. That way we'll also have a list we can go back to if we decide to do this again." Monika laid out her plans for today/
The group silently agreed to the plan. The desks were put back into place and Monika locked the classroom as they left. The girls, aside from Natsuki, made small talk as they journeyed to the library. Naota could still feel a tension radiating from his girlfriend. She still refused to talk or even walk too close to him. The young man was feeling pretty useless at this point. He could play off her if she were snarky or combative but he wasn't sure how to deal with a quiet, stoic Natsuki.
Maybe there was nothing he could do right now, this would all have to be a learning experience for the future.
The library was a bit busier than it was at lunchtime. Although most students had gone home or were busy with their own club activities a few still milled about the many shelves of knowledge.
"Alright everyone!" Monika announced as they arrived. "Let's do some literary exploring! And don't forget to bring me your suggestions so I can write them down."
The group split up and began looking through the huge amount of books the library offered. Naota still tried to stay near Natsuki, staying only a shelf away from her as they scanned the shelves. Almost automatically when she moved to a new section so would he. This game of follow the leader went on for a few minutes and Naota hadn't even noticed as Natsuki's face slowly turned to a annoyed scowl.
"Naota!" Natsuki finally turned to him with a seething whisper. "Would it kill you to give me a little space right now!?"
Naota was stunned by her mini outburst but only nodded, hoping not to raise her ire any further. "Just don't forget about your granola bar. I don't want you to be starving all day" Naota requested.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever..." Natsuki waved him off as she made her way to a more secluded part of the library.
The dejected boy uttered a small sigh as he watched her go. He turned back to the task at hand and tried to focus on the books for now. It soon proved to be a lost cause however, with his mood dampened this much all the book spines might as well of been written in a foreign language. Feeling like he wasn't accomplishing anything here he started to scan the room for Sayori. He could really use a dose of sunshine from her right now.
"So how did it all happen? How did you two decide to get together?" Sayori asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity and anticipation as the two childhood friends halfheartedly looked for books to read.
"Sorry, I promised Natsuki I'd keep that information secret for now. I don't want to betray her trust and hurt her even more." Naota offered an apologetic smile.
"Aww fine." Sayori pouted. "I suppose I can't blame you for being a good boyfriend." Sayori picked out a book from the shelf and read over the synopsis on the back. "Did you get to the bottom of her dietary problems at all?"
"No, she still wouldn't open up to me with that subject. Although I'm more sure than ever that this whole situation is affecting her health." Naota could still clearly hear his girlfriend cough and retch when he remembered that morning. He could feel his heart breaking as he relived those memories.
"So what are we going to do about it?" Sayori asked.
Naota raised an eyebrow."We? You shouldn't have to worry about all this Sayori."
"Like heck I shouldn't! Natsuki's my friend too. And now that shes dating my best friend that makes her my best friend in law or something. Of course I want to help." Sayori beamed.
Sayori's bright optimism caused Naota's own mood to lighten. "Alright. I've got one idea I'm working on, give me a little time to see if it pans out. Okay?"
"Okay, but remember you don't have to do this on your own. Let me know if I can help with anything."
"I know. Thanks Sayori."
"Speaking of needing help..." Sayori broke away from her friend just as Yuri emerged from another aisle. The taller girl was carrying a stack of books so tall it blocked her field of vision and she swayed precariously back and forth as she tried to balance them all. "Easy there Yuri." Sayori said as she guided the purple haired girl to a table.
Setting the heavy load down Yuri gave a sigh of relief. "Thank you Sayori." Looking over the size of her stack Yuri began to blush. "It looks like I over did it again, didn't I?"
"Maybe a just a tad." Sayori giggled with a supportive smile.
"I guess it's to be expected of the club's most well read member." Naota added as he joined the girls. "That's awesome though, me and Sayori haven't found anything good yet."
"I'm sure there's something out there to pique your interests." Yuri assured as Sayori began digging through the book pile.
"Have you read ALL of these before Yuri?" Sayori asked in wonder as she looked one of the books over.
"Oh no. I've only read some of these. Others I've just had my eye on for some time." Yuri explained.
"Maybe Monika should of just went to you for book recommendations. You could be our official literature treasurer or something like that." Sayori suggested.
"Oh, I couldn't handle such a responsibility." Yuri nervously played with her hair.
"I'd listen to your input." Naota pointed out.
"Me too!" Sayori excitedly agreed.
"You guys are just being kind..." Yuri tried to deflect their faith in her.
"Nope! It's all one hundred percent true." Sayori said as she presented Yuri a book. "Have you read this one? What's it about?"
Yuri quickly forgot her self pity and began to gush over the book. The three took a seat at the table as they let Yuri whisk them away into her world of literature.
~Meanwhile~
Natsuki finally found a corner of the library where she could be alone for a bit and stew in her emotions. One day! She couldn't last one day without her secret relationship from being exposed. Was this the beginning of her downfall? She had worked so hard since middle school to prove herself. To prove that despite her small size she wasn't one to be messed with. Being in a relationship was a major weakness wasn't it? When she stopped thinking she swore she could hear their nasty whispers from the corner of the room.
"Looks like little Natsuki finally found a guy to take pity on her."
"Now she finally has someone to read her kiddy comics with!"
"Whats wrong with her boyfriend? Is he into children or something?"
As the phantom voices distracted her Natsuki didn't notice when Monika's head peeked around the corner, searching for the lone member of her club. She moved closer to the pink haired girl, examining one of the near by shelves. "Any luck yet?" Monika asked.
"No, not really." Natsuki answered in a disinterested tone.
"That's understandable, we're in the biology section after all." Monika pointed out.
She was so lost in her thoughts Natsuki hadn't realized she wandered into the science section. The shorter girl sighed in frustration. "What do you want Monika?"
"One of my club members and more importantly, a friend, seems to be in a bad mood. I wanted to see if she wanted to talk about it." Monika explained calmly.
"It's nothing you have to worry about." Natsuki tried to dismiss.
Monika gave her friend a look to let her know that wasn't going to fly with her. "Are you that upset that we all know about you and Naota?"
Natsuki panicked and looked around for anyone that might be listening. "Not so loud! Someone might hear you!"
"And would it be the end of the world if someone did? You're kind of acting like it would be."
"You don't understand Ms. Perfect, some of us have trouble enough with the moron gallery in this school without our personal business being spread around." Natsuki snapped back in a harsh whisper.
"Natsuki, I thought you didn't care about rumors." Monika pointed out.
"I don't! But it doesn't mean I like dealing with them."
Monika shook her head. "You know if you're too focused on the peanut gallery this opportunity is going to pass you by."
"What opportunity would that be?" Natsuki asked in a skeptical tone.
"The opportunity to have a fun high school life. The chance to have a young romance. To make memories that will last a lifetime." Monika counted off on her fingers. "Life can change in an instant, do you really want to waste time with opinions of people you don't even know?"
As much as she wanted to Natsuki couldn't find the right words to argue that point. She remained silent as her defiant pout died down a bit.
"The sad truth about life is that there's always going to be others who have to make snide remarks about everything. You can't let that affect your every action. You're so good at that when it comes to things outside of your relationship"
Again Natsuki just mulled over Monika's words as her pout fully dissipated.
"I bet some of those people who are going to talk are just jealous. I know I am a little." Monika admitted.
Natsuki raised a skeptical eyebrow as if to ask 'Really?'
"Not of Naota of course! He's nowhere near my type of guy. He's not ambitious enough for me." Monika raised her hands, hoping she didn't offend her friend.
"Heh, maybe. If he really wants something he'll go after it. Believe me." Natsuki explained as a little smile crept over her features.
"The point is neither of you deserve a life ruled by other people's judgment." Monika placed a sincere hand on Natsuki's shoulder.
"I get it, I get it." Natsuki surrendered as the last of her negative drained from her mind . "Just do me a favor, if for some reason you run into my dad don't mention us to him."
"Dad wouldn't approve?" Monika asked.
"Dad would put Naota in the hospital." Natsuki joked.
"It's a promise." Monika offered a pinky finger to her friend, which Natsuki interlocked with her own as they shook on it. "Now lets see what the others are up to, I don't know about you but I've already had my fill of biology today."
The pair quickly found their three missing members. As Monika went to ask Yuri about her stacks of books Natsuki snuck up behind Naota. Taking a deep breath for bravery she softly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, which was much easier with him sitting down.
"Hey." Naota greeted after getting over the surprise of the hug.
"Hey, having fun over here?" Natsuki asked.
"As much as you can without manga." Naota grinned. "You feeling better?"
"Yeah, sorry for the attitude earlier. I'm going to work at getting better with my pride or whatever." Natsuki said as her bashfulness made her face flush.
When Natsuki didn't receive a response right away she worried if her actions earlier had hurt her boyfriend. But her worries evaporated as Naota's contemplative demeanor slowly changed back into a small smile.
"It's no problem. We all have our days like that." Naota assured, gently placing a hand on one of the her arms that was draped over his shoulders. "I'm just glad that you're feeling better."
Natsuki squeezed the boy. As she looked back to the others she caught the eyes of Monika who gave a supportive smile of her own. They were quickly interrupted as Sayori practically bounced over to them with book in hand.
"Hey Natsuki! What do you think of this book Yuri found?" The bubbly girl asked as she waved a book in front of her. Yuri also looked to the pinkette, eager to hear her opinion.
Natsuki did her best to focus on the book's summery on the back but her mind was somewhere else. She was with her boyfriend and surrounded by her other friends and the dynamic hadn't really changed had it? At least in her circle of friends she wouldn't have to worry about rumors of her being a loose woman or snide remarks saying how desperate she must be for choosing a guy like Naota.
In this circle she could find warmth and support. Both things she was desperately missing.
Natsuki was still riding high on these good feelings as she walked home. The weather was cool but at least it wasn't snowing. Her double hoodie outfit was more than enough right now to keep her warm, inside and out. If there was one thing she actually enjoyed about winter it was that the whole world seemed quiet and serene. It was almost a worthy trade for the god awful cold. It was when she was only a half a block from home when the peace was shattered by an angry, familiar voice. "Oh no..." Natsuki worried aloud as she picked up the pace towards home.
Arriving as quick as she could Natsuki took in the scene in front of her. Two young men, from what she could tell high school seniors, stood on the sidewalk in front of her house. They both looked on confused as her father yelled at them from the door step in his underwear.
"What's going on here?" Natsuki asked as approached the pair of boys.
"I don't know. We just stopped to light up a smoke and this geezer comes out of his house screaming at us." One of the young men tried to explain as Natsuki's dad continued to shout abuse at them.
"HEY!" Natsuki's dad screamed as he took a large step toward the offending young men. "GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER!"
"Goddammit." Natsuki said as she leapt into action. She quickly ran up to her dad, holding her breath a bit as the smell of alcohol emitted from him like a sick miasma. Luckily a drunk father was sometimes easier to usher around than a sober one. "Come on dad, They were just leaving." As soon as Natsuki got her dad inside he huffed and made his way back to the living room.
"You got to stay away from punks like that Natsuki. They're nothing but trouble!" Her dad shouted the same lesson he'd been warning her about since she started high school. "They do nothing but take and destroy for their own pleasure!"
Natsuki only sighed as she leaned against the front door. It looked like tonight was going to be another 'fun' night at home. She took off her shoes while promising herself to never touch a drop of alcohol when she got older. Trying to get her mind off such subjects she couldn't help but to wonder what her 'punk' was doing right now.
Naota took a moment to collect his thoughts. Followed by a deep breath to steel himself. It felt like ages since he last asked his father for advice or favors. But dinner was fifteen minutes away and his dad was currently on the backyard stoop looking over the snowy yard. It was the perfect time to get some one on one time with him.
"Hey dad." Naota timidly greeted as he stepped outside.
"Son." His dad acknowledged in his normal calm tone. "How was school today?"
"Pretty normal, you know. Steady as she goes..." Naota trailed off awkwardly. "What about you? How was work?"
"It was fine. Steady as she goes." His dad mirrored with a chuckle. The father and son just stood for a moment, enjoying the winter's calm evening.
"So dad..." Naota chose his words carefully. He wanted to ask for some advice but there was so much information he wasn't at liberty to share. "Have you ever had to help someone who was too proud to accept it?"
Naota's dad looked to him in surprise, well aware that heart to heart talks like this was a rarity. "Well sure, as you grow up your going to have to work with all kinds of people."
"How did you approach them? When you have to work with them."
"One the harsh truth about people is there are some who are too stubborn to help. And you have to be careful with them or else they might drag you down with them." His dad warned.
"I don't think that's going to be a problem, she wouldn't do that." Naota was quick to answer.
Upon hearing the word 'she' Naota's dad raised an eyebrow in interest. "The most you can do son is be honest with them. Let your true intentions be known and if they can't accept that you might not be the one to help them." His dad let out another hearty chuckle. "That's why your mother and I gave you the name Naota you know? We wanted you to stay true with your heart and let it lead you."
Naota blushed and mulled over the advice for a moment. His heart wanted to help Natsuki. It wanted wanted her to flourish and to never hear her stomach growl in pain again. He knew he was willing to take another big step if it meant helping her.
"Dad,":Naota voice now had a determination that wasn't there before. "Do you think you could help me find a job?"
Naota's dad was taken back by his son's request. His Naota, normally a somewhat lazy and timid boy, was taking some initiative and wanted to join the work force? He couldn't deny the bit of pride he felt swelling in his chest. He also was very interested in finding out the reason behind this sudden change, and if it had something to do with this 'She' his son mentioned earlier. He knew Naota was a good kid and these answers would come to light when the time was right.
"I'll have to talk it over with your mother first. We can't let you take on anymore responsibility if it's going to interfere with your school work you know."
Naota nodded in understanding."I know, I'll take anything we can work out."
"It seems like your pretty dead set on this. I'll see what I can do."
Naota beamed a grateful smile at the older man. "Thanks dad."
Naota's dad smiled back and ruffled his son's hair. "Anytime son."
The conversation had left the young man a lot more drained then a conversation should have."Well mom said dinner will be done soon. I'm going to go set the table." Naota excused himself as he returned inside.
Naota's dad didn't respond. He continued looking over the snowy back yard, reflecting on how quick his son was growing up.
A/N: Not the most exciting chapter but important none the less. Thanks again for reading and likes/follows. It always helps with my motivation.
