Zuko
It had been about a month since we sent the messenger to Mother. To my surprise, their letter said Mother, Noren and Kiyi would be coming to the palace arriving in two weeks. That day was today. Sam said she thinks the reason they are coming here because they didn't want us to have to bring the baby outside or travel with her. They had lived here for a while at the palace but Mother couldn't shake the memories of Ozai and his abuse towards her. They stayed in Capital City to be close but I noticed that it was hard for Mother to see me. I look too much like my father.
"Zuko, calm down! It will be fine!" Sam said, exasperated.
"I want everything to be perfect. Shen, do you have their rooms prepared?" Shen had been one of my guards along with Jok. After we had some breaches of security with the staff, I had let our previous head of staff, Xulin, go and Shen was promoted to the role.
"Yes, your majesty. Their rooms are prepared. They have new sheets and pillows. They have clothes in case they need them. Their bathing rooms are fully stocked with towels, soaps and everything else they may need. Don't worry. It will go smoothly." Shen said trying to reassure me.
"Thank you, Shen. I just-"
"Want everything to be perfect." Sam and Shen said in unison. I chuckled.
"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous."
"I know, my love. But you don't need to be. It will go well, I promise you. For God's sake, Zuko, stop pacing!" Sam said while sitting on a lounge holding Izumi. She took my hand and pulled me down next to her. "Just breathe. It will be ok. Stop worrying." I leaned towards her and laid my forehead on hers. I then leaned down and kissed Izumi's head. A knock came on the other side of the door. It was Geshna.
"Your majesties. They have arrived." She said. My heart started racing again. Sam leaned over and whispered in my ear.
"Breathe. Just breathe." she repeated. I took a deep breath and stood, helping Sam to her feet. Although she was trying to comfort me I knew she was nervous. We had been married for three years and she had never met my mother or her family. Jok came walking in with Mother, Noren and Kiyi in tow. Mother made eye contact with me and smiled rushing towards me. I started walking towards her but found myself running as well.
"Mom! I've missed you!" I said as we finally reached each other and hugged.
"Easy, Zuko, not so tight." She said. I released her, concern on my face. "Don't worry, my love, I'm alright. I'm glad to see you, too." She said stroking my cheek. She looked past me and saw Sam. "You must be Sam. I'm so glad to finally meet you." She walked towards Sam who was still holding Izumi. She took Sam's hand and kissed her cheek.
"Ursa, It is lovely to meet you too. I'm sorry we couldn't meet sooner."
"Yes, my son can be a stubborn man." Ursa said, smiling at me and I couldn't help but blush.
"Yes, he certainly can be." Sam agreed.
"And this must be little Izumi. Oh Sam, Zuko, she is beautiful!"
"Thank you," Sam and I said, "She is our life."
"Noren. Good to see you." I said extending my hand. Noren accepted my hand but pulled me in for a hug. Normally I didn't like hugs but I didn't mind Noren's. Had I not been raised by my father after my mother left, Noren would have been my father. Many times, I wished he was.
Noren walked over to Sam and bowed to her, kissing her hand. "It's truly an honor to meet you, Fire Lady Samyah."
"Please, Noren, we are among family. No formalities. Just call me Sam." He leaned down and kissed Izumi on her head.
"Zuzu!" I heard from behind Noren. I knew who that was. I stole a glance at Sam and she looked surprised by the nickname. She had only heard Azula call me that. It had a different ring to it coming from Kiyi.
"Kiyi! You're all grown up! You are beautiful," I said, hugging my sister.
"You look good too, Zuzu! I missed you so much!" Sam stepped forward and stretched out a hand to Kiyi, "Sam! I have been wanting to meet you for so long! You are more beautiful than I imagined," Sam blushed. Kiyi walked over to her and gave her a hug. She looked down at Izumi and smoothed her hair with her hand. It occurred to me she probably wasn't around too many babies.
With the greetings out of the way, we could finally visit. We convened out in the Turtleduck Garden. There was a picnic already prepared for us. Sam sat down on the blanket and laid Izumi down next to her. The turtleducks started waddling up to Sam, knowing she was good for food. I sat down next to her and handed her a piece of bread to satisfy the critters. Mother, Noren and Kiyi joined us on the ground and I handed them bread as well. Once the bread was divvied out, I picked up Izumi, laid her in front of me and played with her feet, tickling them and she would smile and giggle. Music to my ears.
"I always loved this garden. It is so peaceful." Mom said. "You would come out here with me all the time, Zuko."
"Yeah. I love this garden too. And being with you." Zuko mused. "This is Sam's favorite garden as well. She is the one who started calling it the Turtleduck Garden." I looked at Kiyi but was still playing with my daughter.
"Kiyi, how is your bending? You a master yet?" Kiyi smiled small and blushed.
"Not even close. I try, but I am not nearly as good as you." I was flattered she looked up to me like that. I loved Kiyi and I sometimes forgot what it was like having a loving sister since I hadn't seen her in so long.
"Oh, I find that hard to believe. You melted a steel door when you were three." I recalled, "I think you're far better than you give yourself credit for." Kiyi looked at me mischievously.
"Do you want me to show you?" I smiled. I had a feeling she was headed in that direction.
"Of course. Sam, you and Izumi will be alright?"
"Yes, hunny. Go with your sister." she smiled at me. I thought this would give her a chance to get to know mother. I stood up and Kiyi and I went to an empty area of the garden.
Sam
I sat and watched Zuko join his sister. I was happy for him to have her here. I knew he missed her and he got to see what a real sister is like and not just Azula. Ursa and Noren were sitting on the other blanket. She looked at me, smiled and came to join me on the blanket with me and Izumi.
"May I?" Ursa asked gesturing to Izumi.
"Of course!" I said, handing Izumi to Ursa embarrassed that I hadn't asked her before. I sat for a while, watching her with Izumi. I could tell she was a good mother. Noren had joined us on the blanket but he stayed quiet. He didn't seem like a man of many words. Ursa looked up at me.
"I see the way he looks at you. I can tell you make him happy. He hasn't had many opportunities in his life to be genuinely happy. You have given that to him. I can't express my gratitude." I blushed at Ursa's words.
"Well, he makes me happy. My life hadn't been easy either and it had been a long time since I was happy before I met Zuko. It's funny that our marriage was arranged. I had only known him for about a month and I really had no expectation of being happy with him. But I didn't have a choice but to marry him. And now if I could go back and change anything there is one thing I would change - I never would have gone to Ba Sing Se. I would have come directly here." Ursa looked surprised.
"He forced you to marry him? That doesn't sound like Zuko," she said stealing a glance over at her son.
"No, it wasn't like that. I…I'm an outsider." I expected a reaction but she didn't seem to care. "Earth Queen Kia had me arrested because of my origin. I'd been in her prison for three days. Zuko had come up with a plan to get me out of there and the only way he could protect me was to marry me. Making me the Fire Lady. Then she couldn't touch me. He…saved my life." I smiled at the memory and Ursa looked proud of her son.
"He has a good heart - he always has. I am proud of the man he has become. How did you react to finding out he is the Fire Lord? I'm sure it was a lot to take in." I laughed.
"Oh, that is an understatement. See, I had known Zuko, like I said, for about a month, but I didn't know he was Fire Lord. Not until that moment. I was shocked. When Zuko came to take me away, he had to make it look like he was going to bring me back to the Fire Nation to answer for some fabricated crime I had committed against him. So I was terrified when we left the Earth Kingdom's palace. Out of the frying pan and into the fire so-to-speak. He had to keep up the pretense until we were safely away from the palace. He then brought me to Iroh's apartment where he let me bathe and change my clothes. That was when he told me everything. I didn't want to marry him but it was either I do or Kia would come after me again. So I didn't have a choice. But Zuko did. And I felt guilty for stealing his future from him. But he insisted and I finally agreed."
"Well, I'm glad you did. He is happier than I have ever seen him. Even…happier than he was with Mai. They weren't married for long but their relationship wasn't exactly stable." This surprised me. Zuko always spoke highly of Mai and I always thought they were happy. I said as much. "Oh, they were happy, but they were young. Only 17 when they married. Neither of them were ready for it. And then when she and their unborn child were killed Zuko went into a deep depression. He blamed himself for it since he was out of the country when it happened."
"He still does." I said. "I tell him that it wasn't his fault but it's hard to break free of the guilt when you feel it's your fault. He…carries a lot of unnecessary guilt. Well, I guess all guilt is unnecessary." I concluded. Ursa heard the unspoken truth.
"He feels guilty about me?" I nodded. "Why? What happened wasn't his fault."
"Well, he feels guilty for bringing you back to the palace. He thinks he should have been more sensitive to your feelings and what it would mean for you to be back here again." I wasn't sure if Zuko was ok with me telling his mother this but she needs to know. If he got angry at me, I'd deal with that later but I have grown to know Zuko very well and I didn't think he would. "he misses you immensely though."
"Then…why does he shut me out?"
"He thinks that…that you had trouble seeing him because he looks too much like Ozai. And that it was hard for you to see him without triggering bad memories."
"What?! That is preposterous! I don't see Ozai in him at all. He is nothing like his father."
"That is what I told him but you know Zuko. He keeps his distance from you for your sake. He doesn't want to cause you any more pain than was already inflicted on you by his father."
"I always thought that he didn't want to see me anymore for some reason. I will need to have a talk with him. I have missed him so much since he stopped seeing us. I know Kiyi has especially. He is her hero."
"I can tell. She is a sweetheart." I looked over at Kiyi and Zuko. I could tell he was giving her pointers on her firebending. He was a good big brother. Not just to Kiyi, but to Azula as well. Ursa smiled at me and she walked over to them and put her hand on Zuko's arm. I couldn't tell what was being said but she said that she needed to talk to him. He shot a look at me and I quickly averted his gaze. Yup, he will not be happy. I felt a pang of guilt for betraying his trust. I hoped that he would forgive me.
Noren and I sat in comfortable silence for a while until a servant came in to say that dinner was served. We all filed into the palace and into the dining hall that Zuko and I usually used. We wanted it to be small and personal. Not big and official. Zuko sat down next to me and I could feel the tension rolling off of him. I knew he was upset. I didn't blame him but he kept it cordial around everyone. We sat down when Ursa breached a topic that I could tell she was nervous about bringing up.
"I wanted to ask you…about Azula. How is she?" I looked over at Zuko who stiffened.
"She is fine." Zuko said. I nudged him and gave him a that's it? look. "She is still in prison but she works with Sam to help her find reform. Sam hasn't done it in a couple of months with the baby."
"And I will be picking it back up soon. She isn't the only one I work to help. As for her progress, she has made great strides and she is far more calm and happier than I think she has ever been. I'm proud of her. She still has a ways to go though," I concluded.
"I…would like to see her while I'm here if you don't mind." she had said to Zuko.
"You can visit her in her prison cell." I jabbed him in the ribs again and this time he looked down at me angrily, fueled by his preexisting annoyance. "No, Sam. No."
"Zuko, she has a right to see her mother."
"You're right, she does. In prison."
"You really want your mother going to a prison?" I reasoned. Zuko closed his eyes in defeat.
"Fine. You're right, Sam. Of course I don't want you going to a prison. I'll have her brought here to see you tomorrow." Zuko said. Ursa smiled and nodded her head in agreement.
"Thank you, son. I know it's a lot to ask."
"Think nothing of it, Mom. I'm glad you two will see each other." Zuko said. We sat and finished our meals and then we convened to our rooms for the evening.
We walked into our room with Izumi, and I walked her over to her crib so she could sleep. My breasts were getting heavy with milk and I knew she would be feeding soon. I took a bottle and set it in her crib so I could express the excess when she was finished. I stole a look over at Zuko.
"Are you angry?" I asked tentatively.
"It wasn't your place to tell her what you did, Sam." he said, annoyed. He wasn't outwardly angry, but I could feel his annoyance on the fringes of his emotion.
"I know, Zuko. I'm sorry I did. She and I were talking and it just…came up. She asked me and I didn't feel like I should lie to her. I'm sorry for breaking your confidence." I said, lowering my head, remorseful for what I'd done. Zuko placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look at him. He smiled his sideways smile that I loved so much.
"Well, I understand why you told her. She needed to know. And ultimately, I'm glad you did. We had a really good talk. I am going to start visiting her again." He smiled at me, walked over to me, put his arms around me while I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me close. "Thank you, my love." I breathed a sigh of relief. I really didn't want to have a fight tonight and I'm glad he saw my reasoning.
"I'm just glad you got to speak to her." While he was in a good mood, I did have one request of him.
"So, I have a question that I know you won't like." Zuko closed his eyes in preparation. Whenever I started a conversation like this he knew that, at the very least, he was going to be annoyed.
"I think Azula should meet Izumi." Yup. That did it. Zuko pulled away from me roughly and he unleashed his full rage-face on me.
"No! I will not let her anywhere near my sister! After Azula tried to kill you, now you want to endanger our daughter?!"
"Zuko, that was three years ago and I sit with her all the time alone. I'm not saying leave them unsupervised. You and I will both be there and her chi-blocking cuffs will remain on her while she is near Izumi. But she has a right to meet her niece. Besides, I think it will do her good. She will feel more like part of the family again." Zuko was beginning to see my reason, albeit reluctantly.
"Fine, but if she makes one wrong step I will remove Izumi from her presence and I will hold you responsible."
"Fair enough. I don't think she will do anything." I turned to go to my side of the bed when I had one last thing to say, "You know? I treat Azula more like family than you do." Zuko didn't say anything to that but just crawled into his side of the bed. I didn't expect a response. I just wanted him to think about it.
Izumi woke up and started to feed. Zuko, like always, came over to me and laid his head down on my shoulder, watching Izumi. After she was done, I expressed the milk. Next time, Zuko would feed her. We laid down and went to sleep. Tomorrow would be a busy day.
