Jacob was running through the woods, not thinking of where he was going, just letting his instincts to be near his mate guide him. Sam had told him to go to "her", and he knew he meant Bella, but he also meant to go to his mate, which wasn't Bella. The command was apparently ambiguous enough for his wolf to interpret it however it desired, and he desperately desired Edward.
With long strides he saw himself getting closer and closer to the Cullen residence. He could smell them now, the bloodsuckers, the sickly sweet smell of decay. It was off-putting, but trapped between the smell of those other leeches lingered the smell he was longing for. How did he ever think Edward smelled as bad as the other leeches? His smell was nothing like them. He still smelled sweet, but in the best way; like freshly baked bread or a field of flowers.
The large Cullen home appeared in the distance, and Jacob sped up. He had never been this eager to get somewhere in his life, and it was right into the bloodsuckers' den. His heart was racing, his mind was blank, his instincts were in overdrive– when he suddenly felt an object hit him full force.
"What the hell?" he demanded, as he landed with his ass on the ground. First he saw nothing, no one, but then all of a sudden the object that hit him emerged from the treeline. It was him. Edward. His heart pounded in his chest. What should he do?
Edward stopped several meters away from Jacob, with his arms crossed tensely in front of his chest. "You shouldn't be here," Edward started, and Jacob's heart skipped a beat. Edward's voice was angelic, ethereal, he could listen to him talk for hours–
"Jacob," Edward uttered, ostensibly to stop his train of thought.
Jacob didn't really know what to do now. He had run all the way there on a command; on a need, but he didn't have a plan. All he knew was that he had to be close to Edward. He needed to see him, smell him, to feel his presence. Edward didn't have to give him anything else. Not if he couldn't. He didn't want him to. Or, he… well.
Edward took a step back, "What… happened to you? Have you lost your mind?" He really had.
"I just needed to see you," Jacob said awkwardly. I won't be bothersome, I could just stay in the background. Edward's presence had lifted him out of a dark cloud, it was as if he could breathe again after being trapped underwater. The world had color again, he couldn't help but feel elated. He needed this, needed Edward.
"Stop!" Edward demanded, causing Jacob to flinch. He wanted to make Edward happy, but he was undoubtedly making him angry. Edward's expression seemed pained, "Are you trying to… provoke me?"
"NO!" Jacob shouted involuntarily, "I just need… I–" I need you, he thought, not managing to say the rest of the sentence out loud. He could see Edward balk at his words.
He suddenly felt desperate, like Edward was slipping away from him again, and he couldn't stand the thought of spending more days apart. His body had been breaking down, he'd been confused and conflicted. He'd wanted to die.
Images of the past few days flashed across his memory; of him falling in the woods, days and nights staring into the ceiling of his bedroom, Billy pleading for him to come eat dinner -eat anything-, and of Sam telling him to go to his soul mate. And then, the harder he tried to keep himself from thinking about it, the more vivid the memory of his sick fantasy about Edward lit up in his mind. Edward's eyes shot up. Maybe it was for the best if he did die.
"You," Edward hesitated, "that can't be right, that's impossible," he seemed genuinely confused, letting out a nervous laugh that sounded anything but happy in nature. "Bella told me about werewolf imprinting," he said, "but she seemed to think it was a way for nature to find wolves their perfect soulmate, not this–" he gestured with his hands towards Jacob, "immoral display."
His words stung, but it's not like Jacob hadn't already thought the same thing; that this must be a mistake somehow. Did nature make mistakes? Well, vampires existed, that had always seemed like a pretty big mistake to Jacob. But if vampires needed to exist just for Edward to be on this earth for him, then maybe they weren't a mistake either…
"Stop–" Edward almost shouted, "Stop thinking like that! Aren't you a Quileute wolf? Have you lost all respect for yourself?"
Jacob didn't even know anymore. Could he even be a wolf after this? They would surely throw him out of the pack when they found out. The second he phased again they would know who he imprinted on. They would know every messed up thought that had crossed his mind this whole time. Nobody would look at him the same. He didn't even look at himself the same; He had been corrupted, made into a mindless robot with no morals, controlled by the whims of his body.
Edward was listening in on his inner monologue with a troubled expression, "There has to be something you can do to break this… infatuation," he stated as if it was a fact. Infatuation, he called it. Didn't he understand that Jacob couldn't breathe without Edward. Couldn't live.
Edward growled.
It might be messed up, but a force of nature had bound him, and there was no breaking it. Heaven knows Quil didn't want to be bound to a child, and Sam didn't want to break Leah's heart. Somehow there was a meaning behind it all, or at least it should be.
"I… I'll do whatever you want," Jacob tried, "Please, just tell me what to do, I'll do anything," …Tell me to die, and I will.
Edward growled once more, before hitting his fist into the tree next to him with a loud thud. "I want you to leave me alone, and to never see your… aggravating face ever again," he snarled, sending a thousand daggers into Jacob's heart, "but that would kill Bella," he continued, "She's been inconsolable these past few days, thinking you don't want to see her anymore."
Bella; he hadn't given her a second thought since before he imprinted. He really was a bad friend. "You think," Edward huffed, "she's been calling you over and over again. She was starting to worry that something happened to you."
Jacob frowned, something did happen to him. He felt worse these past few days than he had ever in his life. He had hated himself, he still did. He had contemplated leaving his pack to stay a wolf forever. Contemplated ending it all. These things were still lingering in the back of his mind despite Edward's presence calming him down. Jacob stared at the ground, avoiding looking at Edward to make him more comfortable.
"Just," Edward's voice sounded more gentle now, "can you come with me to see Bella? She–" he hesitated, "She needs you, Jacob." If only Edward needed him.
"I need you to be friends with Bella," Edward responded, "You make her happy, and that makes me happy, understand?"
Jacob nodded his head. He would be whatever Edward needed him to, that was how imprinting was supposed to work anyways. He was supposed to become what Edward needed the most, he wasn't supposed to fall in love with him. Edward took a few steps back again, and Jacob lifted his gaze to look at him. He wasn't supposed to feel this way, so why did Edward's skin look so touchable, his manly physique look so titillating, his lips so kissab–
"I said stop!" Edward exclaimed, and Jacob quickly looked back down at the ground again. Fuck. He needed to stop that. He was going to see Bella. Focus on Bella.
Jacob finally stood up from the ground, realizing how shaky his body was from days of not eating or sleeping. His need to get to Edward and the command from Sam had invigorated him in his mission, but now that he had reached his goal he felt his feet buckle underneath him. But before he could fall to the ground again, a pair of strong, cold hands gripped him by the waist.
His heart started pounding. Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't. Think. About. It. Edward glared at Jacob's waist, where their bodies met, almost as if he was shocked at himself for touching him.
"Let's get you to Carlisle first," Edward muttered, "wouldn't want Bella to see you like this."
