*Instead of opening up in Jay's Workspace, we settle upon the mountain town of South Park, Colorado, just as the sun begins to rise. Near a familiar-looking bus stop, a shimmering portal opens up, and out comes RJ "Jay" Writing Ink, DAU Kermit, Slick Goku, and Janna, each now resembling the South Park art style*

Jay: All right, gang, here we are. Now, I know our appearances in this reality might be a little off-putting, but try to bear with it.

Slick Goku: Not gonna lie, we look weird as Hell. What the fuck are we even doing here, anyway?

DAU Kermit: Yeah, shouldn't we be more concerned about making sure the readers know what happens to Marcia?

Janna: Oh, come on, Kermit. She'll be fine.

Kermit: Um, you do remember all the things she said to get Tammy to blow her cover, right? That girl looked ready to flay her alive. Also, what does this place have to do with anything?

Jay: Oh, don't worry, Kermit. I've gotten it taken care of. I have Omni ready to start the next chapter for us while we do this little shoutout celebrating South Park's return to TV after three years in exile due to COVID-19.

Janna: That the only reason we're doing this, or is there more?

*Jay then pulls out a bat, a gun, and various other weapons before handing them over to the others.*

Jay: Well, that, and I thought that this would be the perfect time to do something I've always wanted to do: beat the shit out of all the characters in South Park that I hate! Mostly, I just want to beat up Kyle's Mom and Butter's Dad, though.

Kermit: Say no more, Jay. I'm in.

Jay: Great! As for you guys, I hope you enjoy seeing how Marcia gets herself out of this mess. It's going to be good! If you'll excuse me, I will talk to Butters' Dad about his parenting style.

After what had happened at school with Ms. Candle and hearing how inconsiderate Marcia was about his problems, Comet had had enough of school for one day. So, like he said he would, he bailed on the rest of class, wanting to head to the Diaz's house so he could collect his thoughts. He did, however, make sure to let Marcia's parents know that he was home early and asked them to tell the school that he left because he wasn't feeling well. Naturally, this concerned Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, who tried to ask him what was wrong. However, all Comet was willing to say was that he was concerned about something someone said to him at school and wanted to think about it. Out of respect for his privacy, the two chose not to press the issue and gave Comet his space.

Since then, Comet had holed himself up in his room by himself, not even letting Coryn or the laser puppies inside while he rummaged through the things that his Dad gave to him before he left. He eventually found what he wanted: Mewni's Guide to being King and being a "proper monarch." Comet began to read through the book with great reluctance, hoping that it would give him some hope that things wouldn't be as bad as King as he thought.

As he went through page after page of the book, though, his hopes began to dissipate. The entire book was filled with images of Kings and Nobles dressed in the finest of clothes. They stood tall, sat upright, and had a calm and dignified look on their faces, never showing emotion. They exuded a regal demeanor meant to command respect from all.

None of that mattered to Comet, though. All that mattered was how utterly uncomfortable every one of these people looked. And the words that came with each page weren't helping: "A King must always exude regal confidence." "Kings must never sit comfortably." The worst one, though, had to be "A King must always remain upright." It even showed a picture of a man sleeping upright, his head pressed against the headboard of his bed.

"Sweet corn, these people look so miserable," Comet said aloud as all those negative thoughts kept going through his head. Was this it? Was this really the future that awaited him in five to ten years? Having to wake up every morning being trapped in his own personal Hell, powerless to escape it?

Comet didn't want that to happen to him. He didn't want to turn into someone that he couldn't even recognize in the mirror. But what was there for him to do?

His desperation growing by the minute, Comet set the back aside and sat up from his bed before his eyes finally settled on his mirror. He already knew what he had to do, but that only meant that he was really desperate.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Comet sighed as he got up and walked to his mirror, pressing a button on the side.

"Calling Dad," the mirror's voice responded. In a short amount of time, the familiar image of King Mune Dragonfly appeared in the glass mirror. He was in his personal chambers, sitting patiently as several servants were hard at work getting him ready. By Comet's best guess, his Dad likely had a meeting with some important nobles or royalty.

As soon as he saw who called him, the first words that came out of Mune's mouth were, "What did you do this time?"

Comet scowled at this. "What? I haven't done anything yet," he said, offended that his Dad would automatically assume that he screwed up. Am I really that predictable? he thought to himself, though he quickly set aside those feelings so that he could focus on the matter at hand. "I just had to ask you something. Are you...happy?"

Mune raised an inquisitive eyebrow at this. "Happy? What does that have to do with anything?"

It has to do with a lot, Dad, Comet thought, though he didn't voice this. "Do you have anything that you like to do for fun? Like, I don't know, do you have any warnicorns?"

"Of course I do, Comet," Mune said as a matter-of-factly. "I have a whole stable full of warnicorns." Mune then turned to look at someone offscreen and said, "Excuse me, Manfred? What was our latest count on warnicorns?"

"Nineteen, your grace. And several of them are expecting, so that will likely go up soon," replied the voice of Manfred offscreen.

"So, yeah," Mune said as he turned back to look at Comet. "I have 19 warnicorns right now."

Comet immediately perked up at this. "Aw, sweet. Can I-"

"No, Comet. the last thing I need is for you to end up hanging onto a tightrope above a herd of stampeding warnicorns in the Castle." Even Comet had to admit that this was fair, remembering the Warnicorn Incident. "Besides, when you're King, you don't have time for warnicorns."

"Oh." Comet's face sunk as he heard this.

"In fact, you really don't have time for anything when you're King," Mune added. And just like that, Comet had gone right back to being depressed. His Dad, oblivious to this, kept talking. "Listen, son. All of this can be found in that guidebook you have in your hands. Incidentally, you may want to review the chapter on hair care."

Comet took off his hat and proceeded to brush his hair, wondering what the heck could be wrong with it. Everyone he came across said that it was fine the way it was.

"If you're going to be King, then you have to look the part. So don't worry so much about happiness. It will only give you wrinkles and make you look pale. Love you, son. Bye." With that, King Mune ended the call, leaving Comet alone by himself...and more depressed than ever.

Clearly, calling his Dad was a mistake, as he failed to help him with his growing anxiety. Everything that Mune had said made things worse. It felt like there was no way to escape his future of being a prisoner of ruling over his people. And as Comet returned to perusing through the book, looking at all the miserable people inside of it, something inside of him just...snapped.

Comet didn't even think at this point. It was like any control his brain had over him faded away as he, in a moment of desperation and rashness, went to his dresser and pulled an electric razor. There was a crazed look in his eyes as he looked over the device, followed by a wicked grin as he turned it on.

Let's see if they want me to be King after I'm done, Comet thought as he got to work.


In hindsight, Marcia realized that she probably should've gone to Principal Skeeves and told him that Ms. Candle wasn't a real Guidance Counselor. Or tell her friends that Ms. Candle was part of some crazy plan by Comet's equally crazy ex to get back together with him. Hell, she could've just gone straight to Comet and told him everything. Instead, she got so mad that she decided to incur the wrath of the Princess of the Underworld without any backup plan.

Then again, hindsight was the least of Marcia Diaz's concerns when she was chained to a wheel of torture and spun at speeds that rivaled most rollercoasters. That was bad enough, but what made it worse was the fact that Tammy spent the entire time yelling insults at her and throwing fireballs that came within inches of her fragile body. It was taking all of Marcia's willpower to keep from pissing herself while she screamed until her lungs were out of air.

"Oh, scream all you want, human! No one else knows you're here, and no one's going to come to your rescue, you little tramp!" Tammy said as she kept hurtling fireballs at poor Marcia. "Did you think you could brag about how you slept with my man in front of me and not end up like this? No woman in love would ever allow such an insult to go unpunished!"

Tammy ceased hurling fireballs at Marcia for a moment, making the girl calm down a little, despite her current predicament. However, it was only for a moment as Tammy walked back to a nearby desk, opening up a drawer to reveal an assortment of deadly knives.

Marcia couldn't see it, but she swore that her face went as pale as a sheet.

"I'm going to make sure that you never get in the way of me and my love again, YOU HOMEWRECKER!" Tammy roared as she held the knives in her hands, making it clear that her intent was to throw them at Marcia. And judging by how pissed off she was, the Demon girl was likely going to start aiming for her body.

All right, I can't take this anymore, Marcia thought as she realized that if she didn't do something, she was going to die. Despite the torture wheel making it hard even to open her eyes, Marcia managed to get something out of her mouth: "Stop! I knew you were listening! I never made out with Comet!"

Hearing this made Tammy pause right as she was about to start throwing knives. Dropping them to the ground, she walked towards Marcia and, with a snap of her fingers, forced the wheel to come to an abrupt stop, albeit Marcia was upside down.

"What?" Tammy asked, her eyes never taking their gaze off the human girl.

"I never made out with Comet! I never slept with him, never got fingered by him, never banged him! I only said all of that to piss you off!"

"You lied to me," Tammy simply said, looking at the girl with contempt.

Now that she sensed that the immediate danger was past, Marcia found her courage once more and refused to be intimidated by Tammy. "Well, you lied to Comet!"

"I did that because I wanted to make him see that the two of us are meant for each other," Tammy argued, but Marcia didn't buy that for a second.

"And your little underling did a great job with that! All she did was make Comet think that all that he's good for is being King. Do you have any idea how something like that could affect his self-esteem? He had to leave school, he was so upset about it!"

"So Ms. Candle isn't as good at this Guidance Counselor stuff as I want her to be, but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that I show him that I'm the perfect woman for him.

"And you're doing a really good job with it, too," Marcia sarcastically said, making Tammy pause. As the Demon girl began to back away, Marcia decided to press the initiative. "Look, just take me home already. This whole thing has gone far enough."

Tammy thought about this for a moment, then snapped her fingers once more. Instantly, Marcia's restraints were undone, sending her tumbling headfirst into a tub of water.

"Not happening," Tammy coldly said.

"What? Why?" Marcia asked in disbelief.

Tammy turned around to face Marcia once more as she held up her hand. "Three reasons: one, you already know too much and will tell Comet everything. Two, you making that stuff up doesn't change the fact that you're around Comet all the time. That makes you my biggest competition. Lastly, YOU. STOLE. MY. DANCE."

Oh, crapbaskets, Marcia mentally cursed. She was still in the deep end without any floaties. At the same time, she was also frustrated at how dense this crazy girl was. "Dios Mio, I am telling you that I'm not into Comet like that! I already have someone else that I like, so you wouldn't even have to worry about any competition from me. And besides, your stupid plan wouldn't even work in the first place!"

"And why's that?" Tammy asked.

"Because in case you haven't noticed, demonio idiota, there's already someone else that Comet likes!"

"What?" Tammy's eyes turn into little pinpricks at this news.

"Yeah, Comet's into my friend, Karla Greason, in case you haven't noticed," Marcia smugly pointed out. "You know, brunette, carries around that ax-bass, has fangs."

Tammy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd been so focused on Marcia that it never even occurred to her that there might be someone else that he liked. And of all the girls he knew, it was-

"The punk rocker chick? Are you serious?! How? What does she have that I don't?" Tammy then gestured to her body, which, Marcia noted, was already too developed for girls their age, especially in the chest department.

"It's probably because she's not a psycho-bitch that wants to murder every other girl in her ex's life. And in case you haven't noticed, there are plenty of other girls that are into Comet. Brittney, Sabrina, most of the cheerleading team, Aqua-"

Hearing the human girl list off all the girls that liked Comet was bad enough, but learning that her former acquaintance, Aqua, liked him proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back. "ENOUGH!" Tammy roared as she lunged towards Marcia, grabbing her by the collar and lifting her into the air. "It doesn't matter how many girls try and take my Comet away from me!" she growled in a demonic voice. "I'll eradicate each and every one of those little homewreckers...starting with you." Tammy then began to power up another blast of demonic fire into her free hands.

"What?! This so isn't fair!" Marcia vehemently protested. Much to her surprise, Tammy set her down on the floor and backed off.

"All right, fine, human. Battle to the death. I win, you die."

"And what do I get if I win?"

Tammy just laughed at this. "You? Win? You're not going to win. But whatever, ask for anything you want. I'm feeling generous."

Yeah, right, Marcia thought, but wisely didn't voice that thought. "If I win, you gotta take me home and tell Comet the truth. And promise not to hurt any of our friends!"

Tammy responded with a very unladylike snort of contempt but otherwise didn't say anything about the matter. "Fine," she said before snapping her fingers. "Now, pick your weapons: dueling battle axes?"

As if on cue, a pair of massive, ornate battle axes appeared in a column of flames. They were enormous, as big as Marcia, even!

"-Rhino fiend jousting?"

With another snap of Tammy's fingers, the axes disappeared in a puff of smoke, replaced by a giant beast that looked like a cross between a rhino and that thing that was ridden by the villain in Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage. The beast did not look friendly!

"-Pear Grenades of Anguish?"

The rhino creature was promptly replaced by a giant tree in the middle of the room. Before Marcia could even question this, she was disturbed by what happened to be growing on the tree. Instead of normal fruit or something of the sort, there were these angry-looking pears glaring at her. They all shrieked in a high-pitched tone at the Earth girl, before one of them pulled out its stem and promptly exploded, getting pear guts and chunks everywhere. Especially on Marcia, much to the delight of Tammy.

Marcia frowned. As confident as she was in her physical skill, she knew that she couldn't beat a Demon in a straight-up fight. If she wanted to win, she'd need to beat Tammy at something where they'd be on equal footing. Quickly scanning the room for a solution, Marcia spied something that she didn't expect to find outside Earth. Hooked up to a relatively massive TV was, of all things, a Nintendo Switch, along with a few wireless Gamecube controllers. More importantly, Marcia saw the box for a game that any fan of Nintendo would have to recognize.

"How about that?" Marcia said, pointing at the Switch. "Smash Bros? Tournament style, three lives."

Tammy's face remained virtually unreadable, but Marcia seemed to detect the slightest bit of...amusement? Whatever it was, though, it did not stay on the Demon Princess' face long. Instead, she just shrugged and said, "Whatever," before walking over to the couch to power on the Switch while a tiny, goblin-like demon came over with one of the Gamecube controllers.

"Your weapon of choice, my lady?" the goblin thing said as she handed Tammy the controller, with Marcia nervously sitting down on the couch next to her. She didn't want to look scared, but she was still worried that Tammy may just decide to fry her right then and there if something went wrong.

Come on, Marcia! Don't let this crazy yandere psyche you out like this! It's just Smash Bros. You can beat her at this! Marcia mentally told herself, refusing to be intimidated by the Demon Princess as she went to pick up the spare controller. Getting a confident look on her face as Super Smash Bros. Ultimate started, Marcia turned to look at Tammy.

"I oughta warn you, I'm not only a karate master, but I'm also a talented gamer, as well. I've won tournaments playing Smash Bros!" Marcia wasn't exaggerating, either. Next to karate and physical activity, video games were Marcia's favorite past-time, and the Smash Bros. series were some of her all-time favorites. In fact, the whole reason she became friends with Alfonso and Ferguson was from playing Smash Bros at each other's houses together. They had played every game for hours on end. Eventually, they got so good at it that they started entering tournaments together, where they would win more often than not. In short, Marcia felt very confident about her abilities.

All right, then. Time to see if I've still got it, Marcia thought to herself as the fighter selection screen came up.

Smash Bros Ultimate had the largest roster of any fighting game on the market, with more than eighty-two fighters to select from Nintendo and third-party games. Any player worth their controller, though, knew that some characters that were better to use than others. Those who played professionally would only go for fighters that were at least A-rank tier and above. This is why Marcia would always play with a certain number of characters, such as-

Bingo. Lucina is perfect!

Lucina was one of the best fighters to choose from in Smash Bros. Introduced in the 3DS/Wii U dual release, she was a swordswoman from the Fire Emblem series and one of the best swordfighters in Smash. What she lacked in ranged attacks she could make up for in brutal slashes from her blade, the Falchion. And if you timed her counter just right, she could send opponents flying off the stage! She was one of Marcia's favorites to play as, and something told her that she would help her win her freedom today. Meanwhile, Tammy glanced off to the side to see what Tammy chose. Much to her surprise, she found that the girl had left her character choice as-

"Random? Really, you're didn't even care about who you play as?"

"Why should I? I'm gonna win no matter who I pick," Tammy said in the same disinterested tone as she picked the Final Destination stage to play on. When the screen then shifted again to the stage, Marcia finally saw who Tammy got to play as, and for a moment, the Diaz girl felt bad for the Demon. She got, of all things, Piranha Plant.

Marcia remembered the day when Piranha Plant had come out for Smash. At first, the plant creature had been super popular with players, with tons of people using it. Unfortunately, he was also OP as Hell, leading Nintendo to nerf him in later updates. Now, it had gotten to the point where Piranha Plant was considered a joke character.

I may actually be able to win this without much effort, Marcia thought as the match began. With a flick of her thumb, the human girl had Lucina sprint forward, ready to deliver an upwards slash that would send Piranha Plant into the air. With its slow movespeed compared to hers, that should've clinched it for Marcia...

Except that didn't happen. Right as Lucina was about to connect with her opponent, Piranha Plant used its neutral special, Ptooie, to spit out a massive, spiky ball into the air before sending it plummeting down onto Lucina. There was no time to block it or even dodge. As Marcia watched, Lucina got knocked back, taking damage. But that was only the beginning of Marcia's troubles. With a jerk of her fingers, Tammy prompted Piranha Plant to hide back in his pot, and Marcia knew what was going to happen next: it was the character's down special, Long-Stem Strike. This wasn't the toughest attack to dodge, but since Lucina had gotten knocked back by the previous attack, Marcia couldn't move quick enough. Thus, Lucina incurred even more damage.

Oh that is it! Game or not, Marcia was not going to lose to the likes of Tammy Lucitor! She surged forward once more, trying to get some hits in on Tammy. While she managed to get a few good blows in, though, Tammy managed to inflict far more damage. Then, somehow, she managed to get Lucina into the air, where she had almost no defenses. On the other hand, Piranha Plant had the piranhacopter, which let it jump higher into the air and dealt some real damage to Lucina.

As Marcia desperately tried to regain the initiative, Tammy's face remained as impassive as ever. Before the Diaz girl even realized what had happened, she was down one life. Then another. And finally, her last life slipped away from her, leaving Tammy as the victor.

"Point, Lady Tammy," one of the demons said nearby.

Oh nooo...Marcia then realized why Tammy had chosen to play a random character when that didn't make much sense. She was just that good at this.

"O-okay. So I'm a little bit rusty at this. That doesn't mean I'm going to lose!" Marcia proclaimed as they started up another match. "Just wait until I..."

Too late. Somehow, Marcia managed to lose again in just the span of a few seconds.

Morgan Freeman: And thus, for the second time that day, Marcia knew...she fucked up.


Spongebob Narrator: Meanwhile...

If anyone could see what Comet was up to in his room, they would be fairly certain that he was in the middle of a nervous breakdown.

For starters, he tore down a poster on his wall showing what a "proper King" would look like and then proceeded to throw it in the trash. Next, as grunge music played in the background, he tore up his pants in several locations and added spiked armbands to his before wearing black biker gloves. After adding a skull sticker to his face over his cheekmark, he then bit down on his thumb with enough force to draw blood, which he proceeded to smear onto his lips.

Once he was done with that, he then went over to his wall and looked at one of the battle axes he had lying around with a crazed look in his eyes.

"Perfect."


Un...be..livable. How can I be losing so badly?!

Things had not gotten any better for Marcia. In fact, things had only gotten progressively worse for the poor girl.

It turns out Tammy was an even better player at Smash Bros than Marcia was. No matter what character Marcia used or whatever stage she tried to play on, Marcia got herself clobbered. Every. Single. Time. It's not that Marcia was that bad at Smash Bros.; It's just that Tammy was better in almost every way possible. And the longer they played, the more Marcia felt the fatigue begin to sink in. Her hands felt sore, her eyes were starting to turn red, and she lost focus. Yet, she couldn't give up. Not when her life was on the line!

All I have to do is beat her at least once, and then I can get out of here, Marcia thought as she continued their latest match, only for her controller to quit on her in the middle of the game.

"Oh, come on!" Marcia shouted in frustration as she threw the controller onto the ground, costing her the match.

"And that's another win for me, bitch," Tammy said. "Ready to give up yet, because this is starting to get boring."

"Oh, no way. Double or nothing!"

One of the demons watching the game couldn't help but feel bad for the human girl. "Girl, you don't have a controller anymore, and you've lost so many times. Just give it up already."

"It's cool. She can use mine," Tammy said as she passed her Gamecube controller to Marcia, much to her confusion.

"Wait, then what are you going to use? The joy-con controllers?" Marcia asked.

"Don't need them," Tammy casually said before pointing her hand at the Switch. As if on cue, the device began to glow with a soft, red light. Then, to make things even weirder, Tammy began to move her hands around, prompting what was supposed to be Tammy's arrow on the TV to move in conjunction.

"You're using your demonic powers to play?! That's cheating!" Marcia protested as the pair began their umpteenth game that afternoon.

"You think this is cheating? Try playing Comet at anything." Tammy snorted in response as she didn't even bother looking at the screen anymore as her fighter, Duck Hunt, took pot-shots at Marcia's character, Cloud.

Marcia moved her controller to make Cloud dodge, but despite the urgency of her situation, she couldn't help but respond to what Tammy was saying. "Well, it's not like Comet cheats. He just likes to make up his own rules, is all," she said, defending her friend.

"And then he changes the rules again halfway through the game without telling anyone so he can win," Tammy retorted.

"So that's why I never win when I play against him," Marcia said as the understanding finally dawned on her.

"He just does whatever he wants, not worrying about the consequences."

"Tell me about it," Marcia complained. "It's like he doesn't care whether or not he ends up pissing people off in the process."

"Well, yeah, but it's not like he's trying to make people angry, you know. That's just how he acts sometimes."

"True," Marcia admitted. "And when he does do something wrong, he always goes out of his way to fix. So, it's not like you can stay mad at him in the end."

"Unless they already hate his guts, of course. Though, to be fair, I'm pretty sure most of those people are just jerks with something up their asses. In that case, he won't hesitate to tell them like that it is."

"Yeah, that Comet," Marcia sighed as she remembered all the times he had helped her and her friends out since they first met. "He may be a handful, but it's worth it having him around."

"Yeah. He's pretty awesome like that, isn't he?" Tammy admitted as she got this wistful look on her face before looking back at Marcia. "You know you're never gonna win, right?"

By this point, the fighting between the two had all but ceased. But when Marcia heard Tammy say this, any drive she had left in her evaporated. Sighing, Marcia paused the game, placed the controller on the table, and turned to look at Tammy.

"Look, I get it, all right," Marcia said, much to the other girl's surprise. "I get why you like Comet so much. He's funny, he's energetic, and he's friendly to pretty much everyone he meets. He tries to see the best in everyone he comes across, even if other people don't." Marcia couldn't help but remember how Comet managed to get Brittney Wong, of all people, to start to turn over a new leaf. "And," she started blushing as she said this, "he is, admittedly, pretty cute. He's probably going to grow up looking like a regular Adonis."

"Oh, yeah," Tammy agreed without even meaning to. She had already fantasized about an adult version of her spending time with the veritable hunk that she pictured a grown-up Comet as. It was enough to keep her up at night, doing...things with her body.

"Even if he wasn't a Prince or didn't have magic, I don't think it would matter for a lot of people. Most girls our age would kill for a chance to date someone like Comet," Marci continued. "Hell, that's what you were trying to do here!"

"Well, duh! And after I make sure you don't snitch, I'll make sure Comet's mine and mine alone!" Tammy said as her yandere side began to flare up again.

"But that's the thing," Marcia said. "Yeah, you're kicking my ass at Smash Bros, not to mention what it's doing to my self-esteem as a gamer, but that doesn't mean you're going to win Comet in the end. It doesn't matter if you pull out all my organs or put my head on pike to warn all girls to stay away from him. Comet's not just some prize to be won or something that you can own. He's a person with his own thoughts and feelings. And once he's made up his mind about something, then it's almost impossible to stop him. So, you can't make Comet be your boyfriend again unless he wants to."

Tammy remained silent as Marcia continued. "I'm not going to lie: a lot of guys out there would probably want to date you. You're the same age as me, and you've already got a body that most girls would kill for, and most guys would fawn over. But the way you're acting right now, as a total psycho-bitch, then no boy's going to want to date you. Least of all, Comet."

Marcia then got up off the couch and turned to look down at Tammy, who now looked very melancholy. "Now look, you've got two choices. You can either go through with your crazy plan and kill me in the process. Or, you can tell Comet the truth and hope that he'll forgive you. What's it going to be?" Marcia held out her hand, and Tammy just looked at it for a minute or two. At last, she made her decision.


By the time the pillar of demonic flames deposited the flying carriage on Comet's balcony, it was close to sundown in Echo Creek. The stars were already coming out for the night, though that was of little concern to Marcia. She practically jumped out of the carriage onto the balcony, desperately wanting to talk to Comet before he ended up doing something crazy.

"Comet! Are you in here?" Marcia said as she made her way into Comet's bedroom. "I need to tell you some..."

The rest of the words died in her mouth when she saw Comet, sitting on a bench, sharpening a one-handed axe on a medieval grindstone. As soon as he heard her voice, he turned around to look at her, giving Marcia a chance to see what Comet had done to himself since she last saw him.

To start off, he had shaved off most of the golden blonde hair that girls at ECA loved to fawn over, save for a large strip that ran down the center of his head like a mohawk. It wasn't even blonde anymore; he had died it purple. Then there was his outfit: instead of the bright and colorful look he normally went for, the boy had swapped it out for grunge clothes, complete with ripped jeans, spiky black boots, leather gloves, and spiked wristbands. His lips were dyed a crimson blood-red, and completing the look was a skull sticker placed over his cheekmark.

Clearly, Comet had taken everything Ms. Candle said to him very, very poorly.

"Oh, hey, Marcia," Comet said with a crazed, desperate look in his eyes. "Did you know that if I cut off a merfolk's tail, I can never be King?" he casually told her as he held up an old book in his free hand. "It's all in the guidebook."

I couldn't have come here sooner, Marcia thought to herself. "Comet," she said gingerly, "You don't have to do that. Now please, put the axe down before you hurt someone," she said as she gestured for her best friend to lower the weapon.

Much to her surprise, Comet immediately did as he was told, letting the axe bury into his floorboard as he got a look of utter relief on his face. "OH, THANK CORN!" He cried out before heading to his aquarium, where Marcia saw a young merman listening to some music. "I am so sorry, Alex. I never wanted to hurt you. Your cousin Aqua would never forgive me!" he whimpered in the most pathetic tone Marcia had ever heard come out of Comet's mouth.

Dios mio, this whole experience messed him up even more than I imagined, Marcia thought as she looked at Comet with pity. "Shameful," she admitted aloud.

Even Tammy, who had just walked into Comet's room, had to nod her head in agreement. This was taking things way too far.

After a moment of groveling, Comet finally noticed that his ex-girlfriend was present in his bedroom and picked himself up off the floor. "Tammy? What are-what are you doing here?"

Awkwardly clutching her arm, Tammy took a deep breath before she spoke. "Comet, I have something I need to confess: Ms. Candle isn't a real guidance counselor. I just planted her in your school and used you to try and talk you into getting back together with me. And it took me destroying Marcia fifty-eight games to zero in Smash Bros to realize I was wrong. Like, I slaughtered her. I mean, beating her was just so freaking easy-"

"Okay, we get it, Tammy. No need to rub salt in the wounds." Marcia said, trying her best not to glare at the girl.

"The point is, all I wanted was to get you back, and I didn't stop to consider what you wanted. And from the looks of things, I ended up hurting you really badly. I'm sorry."

Comet just stood there for a moment, trying to process everything that he just heard. Then he smiled, walked over to Tammy...and promptly bitch-slapped her in the face.

"Ow!" Tammy said as she felt the sting from the slap. "Okay, yeah, I deserved that."

"You're damn right you did, Tammy," Comet said with great displeasure. "You lied to me and almost shattered my self-esteem in the process. Do you have any idea how stressful the last few hours of my life have been?! Pretty Gods damn stressful!" he said, yelling at Tammy who could only stand there and take it. "And do you know what the worst part of all of this is?" Just as quickly as that fire of anger surged through Comet, though, it fizzled out. In its place, crippling sadness as a result of a dose of reality. "Everything that Ms. Candle said was still true. I'm still going to end up being King one day," he sadly said as he turned his back on the two girls, looking at the hated guidebook. "I'm still going to have my entire life dictated for me. Have to put up with my snooty-ass relatives and scheming nobles 24/7. And I'm still going to have to put everyone else's happiness before my own. I won't be able to do anything fun ever again..." Comet's voice began to trail off as the weight of his future responsibilities looked ready to crush him. Tammy had never seen Comet look so dejected before!

But Marcia had. She knew all too well what Comet was going through. Yeah, he was a naturally upbeat person who always tried to see the brighter side of things. Yet even with all his power, he was still a teenage boy; and when life proved to be too much for even him to handle, Comet could break down. It was like she was reliving what happened to him after the fight in Ludo's Castle, something that she never wanted to see him go through again.

"That doesn't have to be a bad thing, you know," Marcia said as she stepped up behind Comet, catching him by surprise.

"Huh?"

"Comet, just because you're going to be King doesn't mean that you have to do things the way your family expects you to. And it doesn't mean that you have to give up on whatever you want to do with your life."

"It doesn't?"

"No, of course not, Comet," Marcia said. "When you become King, you'll be able to decide how you want to run things. You won't have to listen to some stuffy nobles and your pretentious relatives or their backward expectations if you don't want to. You'll be able to run things your way, Comet. No matter how destructive they may be."

Comet perked up when he heard this. "That's...true," he said, smiling. Then, just for the heck of it, he threw the guidebook in the air, blasted it to pieces with his Wand, and used the Wand again to turn the pieces into a Warnicorn that started running around his bedroom.

Marcia couldn't help but smile as she saw that she had got the old Comet back. "Besides, when the time comes, you won't be alone in running Mewni, you know. You'll have your friends there ready to help you. Me, Jackson, MC, Al, even Jonah."

"Aww, you mean that, Marcia? You'd really help me?"

"Of course, you dummy," Marcia giggled, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "After you came into our lives, I doubt we could ever do anything without you again."

"Aww, Marcia! Hugs!" And then, the two best friends happily hugged each other.

"Point Marcia," the Demon carrying the carriage said, making Tammy sad in the process. Realizing that she didn't need to be there any longer, Tammy chose to take her leave.

"Well, I should go," she said as she sadly went to the balcony. "By the way, sweetie, I like your hair," she said, complimenting Comet's mohawk. "And Marcia, don't worry. I won't bother any of the others about this," she said, letting Marcia know that Tammy wasn't going to go after any of the other girls that had crushes on Comet. And with that, Tammy entered the carriage and returned to the Underworld in a pillar of fire.

Now by themselves (the Warnicorn having since reverted back into ashes of book), Comet and Marcia talked to each other. "So, you were hanging out with Tammy, huh?"

"You could say that," Marcia told him, not wanting to go into the finer details of what happened.

"She still has anger issues?"

"Oh, heck yeah," Marcia said without hesitation. "But, I don't think she's as bad as she makes herself out to be," Marcia said, her opinion on the Demon princess having slightly improved. With that out of the way, Marcia wanted to move onto more important matters. "So, you're not keeping this look, right?"

"Oh, Gods, no. I'll go back to my usual attire first thing tomorrow," Comet admitted.

"And the hair?"

"Don't worry. I got a spell to regrow it. It'll be fine. Plus, I'm pretty sure if Dad saw this, he'd have a stroke.

"Oh, definitely."


It was the next day at Echo Creek Academy, and Sabrina had finally been called down to see the new guidance counselor.

"No, Sabrina, I don't think you're trying too hard to overcome your self-esteem issues-" Ms. Candle started to say. Then, out of nowhere, a pillar of flames appeared in the office, and from them, came Tammy Lucitor.

"Dude, abort the mission; we're done," Tammy said, wanting to tie up loose ends.

Saluting her mistress, Ms. Candle then opened up the window, whistled, and proceeded to fly away on a nearby filing cabinet, leaving Sabrina all by herself.

"What just happened?" Sabrina wondered aloud.

*Back in South Park, Jay and the others are finishing watching the latest chapter while being surrounded by the bodies of Kyle's Mom, Kyle's Dad, and Butters' Dad, all of whom are battered, bruised, and have gunshots in their feet. Jay has a very content look on his face.

Jay: Ahhh...there's nothing like imagining yourself beating the snot out of fictional characters that you despise.

Kermit: Um, Jay, I'm not gonna lie, but after seeing just how much you were getting into beating up Butters Dad, I think you've got anger issues.

Slick Goku: Hey, man, you seen the show? Butters Dad has had this coming for years now. This was downright cathartic, right, homie?

Jay: Pretty much. I've dreamt of beating up Mr. Stotch for years, and this is the closest I'll get.

Janna: Shouldn't we talk about the latest chapter, though? It feels like there was some heavy character development for some people.

Jay: Well, I did intend for this two-parter to be the start to Tammy following a path much like Tom did in the show. However, I also wanted to expand on some things that I felt like the show missed out on.

Janna: Yeah, I'm surprised that Marco never brought up Oskar to Tom. Talking about the guy that Star was crushing on at the moment really seemed like something he'd want to bring up to show the Demon Prince why his plan was doomed to fail, even if he did get Marco out of the way.

Jay: And that's why I addressed it here. Oh, and I changed the ping-pong game to Smash Bros because that's something I would play.

Slick Goku: Hey man, you also did a better job with Marcia's pep talks with Tammy and Comet than the show did. I could really feel like she was speaking to them on a deep, emotional level.

Janna: Hate to admit it, but hearing Marcia say that she'd be there to help Comet when he became King was pretty sweet.

Kermit: Yeah, totally wholesome. And King Mune doesn't know what he's talking about with his son's hair. It looks fine the way it is.

Janna: So, we done here, or anyone else we need to beat up.

Jay: Nah, we're good. Now let's get out of here before any of these guys wake up. Although, I guess we still have some time until they come to, so I guess we could respond to

READERS REVIEWS!

NightAroma-NightAroma, did you not hear me say last week that what Marcia said was me holding back. I could've gone all the way up to Rated R if I wanted to! Still, the fact that you're concerned about that just means I've got a good story. PS-is that a reference to Rocko's Modern Life?

LockAndKey989-Meh, I'm still working out the details on that particular relationship.

Julayla-Tom and Marco's bromance was one of my favorite things in the show, so you know I'm going to be developing a womance for Tammy and Marcia. It's gonna take a while, though.

TheWanderingHippie-So that's the name of that song! I heard an Emo version of DevilArtemis Kermit sing it in a DevilArtemis video a few years back!

Hippie, I wasn't lying: I was holding back. I have seen enough 18-and-Up stories to know what goes on, and I could've done the same thing here. But I chose not to...mostly because I thought it would be funnier to imply what Marcia was talking about and let the fans come up with the rest.

No cap, I might do a Lemon story featuring an older version of the cast just to test myself.

Wowog-Thanks for the review, Wowog. Not going to lie, I think the finale to my "Mewnipendence Day" arc was one of my favorite parts of the story that I have written thus far.

You know what to do: fave and follow this story, and follow me on Twitter (JZ-Gaming), Insta (RJ Writing Ink), and YouTube (Jungoguy).

Next week, Comet and Marcia are going on a little camping trip, only for it to be crashed by the appearance of a certain relative...Lake, it's Lake. It's definitely Lake.