*On an otherwise normal afternoon in Jay's Workspace, we see RJ "Jay" Writing Ink looking over a pile of items that Omnitraxus just set onto the ground*
Jay: And you sure this is everything, Omni? I don't want to forget something.
Omnitraxus: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But do you really need all of this?
Jay: Heck no, Omni. I only need the essentials; I gotta travel light if I want to do this!
*Using the powers of his Infinity Ring, Jay then begins to sort through the pile, pulling out everything he's looking for, starting with an old backpack that's labeled "Hammerspace Holdings Backpack."*
Jay: Let's see, now. I'm gonna need drinks, food, AirPods, portable chargers, plug-in chargers, my Switch, my old 3DS, inflatable pillow, anti-COVID masks, wads of money to bribe people with, my phone, and reading material!
*As Omni, DAU Kermit, Janna, and Spongebob Narrator watch, Jay proceeds to stuff everything into the backpack, which functions on the hammerspace principle that lets fictional characters hold ridiculous amounts of stuff*
Jay: All right, that should be everything that I need.
Janna: Okay, I'll bite. What is all this stuff for? Are you going on a trip?
Jay: Yes, there's an anime convention I'm going to, so I'm starting to pack in advance.
Kermit: Um, Jay? I don't wanna criticize your choices, but don't you think you'll need more than that? Like, extra clothes.
Eddy: Says the frog who doesn't wear clothes.
Kermit: Hey, I don't need to unless I want to. I'm a Muppet.
Jay: Guys, this isn't everything I'm bringing for the trip. This is just my kit for waiting in line.
Spongebob Narrator: Isn't all of this a bit much for waiting in line for something at a convention?
Jay: Trust me, guys. If you've had to wait in line for anything at a convention, then you'll know that this is a reasonable reaction. That, and it makes for a good segue into today's chapter.
Kermit: Umm, how, exactly?
Janna: Oh, I get it. You're doing the "Goblin Dogs" episode.
Jay: Exactly. And you'll see why this is all necessary. Now, start the story! Also, to the guest who guessed that I would use Zeno Robinson for the voice of Genderbent Killian, thank you for the great idea. I
It was a rainy and dreary day in the bleak dimension that housed the "Better Than Nothing" Apartment Complex. The apartments looked fairly luxurious to anyone watching from afar, replete with Gothic architecture and space. If someone were to get closer, though, they would see that "Better Than Nothing" was pushing it as far as names went. Many of the windows were cracked or shattered, there was graffiti on the bricks, weeds were growing in the many cracks in the sidewalk, and there were several holes in the roof. In short, it was a dump that wasn't up to code by any standards. Still, one area was decently maintained, off to the side, and that was where the hooded figure approaching the building headed.
As the figure walked through the worn and dimly-lit hallways of the building, the faint flicker of light came from one room, the only room to have any signs. Stepping inside the unlocked door, the hooded figure found themselves in something that could barely qualify as a living space. Clothes hung up on wires in the kitchen, while several cabinets were missing doors and dishes were stacked up everywhere.
It looked like the kind of apartment someone who just got out of college would rent, only way worse. Instead of being a struggling college grad, two people inhabited the place: one was a three-foot-tall, purple woman with a yellow gemstone for an eyepatch. The other was a taller, pale-faced man in a purple suit that looked like it hadn't been pressed and ironed for some time. The older man's face had dark circles under his eyes, making them look far more haggard than they would've liked.
"Mr. Abhorrent?" the hooded figure asked their voice that of a woman's.
"Thank you for meeting with us today, Rastkora."
"My pleasure," the figure said as she pulled down her hood, revealing her Septarian visage underneath. She was Rastkora Chaosus Disastervaine, a former soldier turned bounty hunter and assassin-for-hire. Her left eye and left arm from the shoulder blade down were missing, and in their place was a purple gemstone and a metal prosthetic. Being a Septarian, she could have regenerated her missing eye and limb when she wanted; she just chose not to simply because it made her look more intimidating. Her neck frills, which looked a lot like dreadlocks, were wrapped into the back of her head like a ponytail, which only made her look scarier as a whole. All told, she gave off the air of a ruthless killer and assassin.
"Who's the target?" Rastkora said, getting right down to business, making Abhorrent smile a little. In the past, when escaped Princes from his school proved too elusive for his guards to capture, the Headmaster of Sgt. Oleg's would rely on bounty hunters to bring them in, and Rastikora was one of the best. Which was why he had chosen her out of the many potential hires for this mission.
"Targets, actually," Abhorrent said as he stood up from his chair, handing the assassin a photo of the three who had dared to incur his wrath. One was blonde and dressed in black and purple with an eyepatch, looking like your typical gangster. The second was a cyan-colored floating unicorn head. The last was a young man wearing more formal, purple-themed attire, their short, brown hair tied back into a ponytail.
"These three Princes are the ones responsible for the recent riot at my school," Abhorrent explained as he handed Rastkora the photo. "I want you to bring them to me using any means necessary. I don't care what you do to the blonde one or his equine accomplice, but keep the dark-haired one alive. I want to make his punishment the most...severe."
"How can I find them?"
"They are hiding somewhere in the Terran dimension, otherwise known as Earth. A backwater location and the perfect place for someone to hide," Abhorrent said with disgust before pulling out a small, metal instrument. "This was found on the dark-haired one's person, and use it to track them."
Rastikora nodded her head before tapping on the gemstone. Instantly, it began to glow as the magical implant began to feed information directly to her brain. Sure enough, it pinpointed the location of two of them to be on Earth. A third, though, was not, which did complicate things.
No matter. They will meet in person at some point, and then I will have them all, Rastikora calculated to herself.
"I do not need to remind you that I have paid you in advance, Rastkora. So I expect you to give me the results I desire," Mr. Abhorrent sternly told the assassin.
"Do not worry, Mr. Abhorrent. I will bring the targets to you," Rastkora said before reaching behind her back, pulling out a massive chainsaw that she'd been carrying around. It was a dimensional chainsaw, a cheaper alternative to the much sought-after dimensional scissors. Its teeth were typically made with the fragments of a pair of scissors, allowing it to achieve the same effect, but it was usually not as reliable. Despite this, less than savory people preferred using them due to being less conspicuous than the real deal. After yanking on the cord a few times, the chainsaw revved to life. Stepping away from the Headmaster and his servant, Rastikora cut open an x-shaped portal in the middle of the room, connecting to the Earth dimension, through which the Septarian wordlessly stepped into.
"I have been looking forward to this day, sir," Geminine said once Rastikora had left.
"As have I, Geminine," Mr. Abhorrent said as he walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of brandy before pouring it into a shot glass. "Things have been...less than ideal for us since we were forced to go into exile. Our school is now in the hands of rebellious anarchists, our loyal guards reprogrammed to bar us from entry," he recounted as he took a sip from his drink. "And worst of all, they saw fit to spread lies about my methods to the public, leaving me to be hunted by the authorities. Many of the very same royals who once turned to us are now calling for my head. But soon, all of that will change."
"Certainly, sir," Geminine agreed. "Once we have the masterminds behind the uprising in custody, we will be able to return to your school and reclaim all that we have lost. And I hope it is soon, too. I cannot remember the last time that I have eaten."
"Indeed," Abhorrent said as he returned to the kitchen and one of the open cabinets. Reaching inside to a cookie jar, Mr. Abhorrent pulled out a wad of money. "Take this, Geminine. The last of our savings."
Geminine looked at the money in awe as her master handed it to her. "Oh, you're so generous, Mr. Abhorrent. Thank you! Finally, some food for myself!"
"What are you, nuts? We can always scavenge for more food in the area. This is for me. I need some more conditioner for my hair!" Mr. Abhorrent clarified. "You know the one that I'm talking about. Now go!" the former Headmaster said before pointing at the door.
"Oh, yes, sir. Right away, sir," Geminine dutifully said before running off to accomplish her task.
"And make sure to bring back a receipt!"
*Ring Ring Ring, Ring Ring-A-Ling*
"Comet, don't you think you should get that?"
"I should...but I don't want to, Marcia," Comet said as he kept focusing on his task at hand.
"But it could be important, you know," Marcia tried to argue while she focused on what she was doing while Comet's mirror kept going off.
"You're just saying that because you want to distract me," Comet retorted.
"Dude, no offense, but that ringtone's kind of distracting for everyone," Karla said off to one side.
"She's right, Comet," Jackson said off to another side. "Just go answer it. It's making me lose my concentration, and we're so close to winning this!"
"Look, Jackson, I'll answer it as soon as we cinch this-"
"GAME!"
"-Win!"
"Darn it. So close to winning," Jackson sighed.
"Whoo-hoo! Alright!" Marcia cheered in victory. "Up top, girl!" she told Karla as the two high-fived each other, having just won the round of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
It was a slow day at the Diaz house, and since Comet and Marcia didn't have anything better to do, they invited some of their friends over to play Smash Bros on Comet's UGC. Jackson and Karla were the only ones who could come, though, but that was fine for Comet and Marcia. Spending time with their respective crushes was a win in their book, and now the girls had gotten a win over the boys.
Sighing as he accepted his defeat at the hands of his best friend and his crush, Comet no longer had any excuse to avoid responding to his mirror. Reluctantly, he got up and walked to the magical device as it continued to ring. "All right, all right, I'm coming. But it better not be my Dad...or Tammy. I don't want to deal with Tammy right now," he openly admitted as he pressed the button on the mirror. Comet was met with a pleasant surprise instead of being his old man or his ex-girlfriend.
"Hey, hey, homies! What's good, all?"
And Marcia could already feel a migraine coming on as she recognized who was calling...and when Comet began to squeal with joy.
"MC!"
"Yo, what up, D-Fly?" Mare Cranium "MC" Colthead said loudly on the other side of the mirror. "What took you so long, buddy? I was starting to think you were bailing on me!"
"On you? No way, bro! I could never bail on you!" Comet exuberantly told his old friend. Karla and Jackson, though, looked at the exchange with confusion while Marcia just groaned. She wasn't actually frustrated, though. Well, she was, but not as much as she made it seem like. She knew that Comet was just happy at the fact that he got his oldest friend back in his life following the events at Sgt. Oleg's (which she could now say without Comet screaming his lungs out over).
Karla and Jackson, though, who knew nothing about MC, were thoroughly confused by what was going on. Finally, Karla decided to ask the million-dollar question: "Is that a fucking floating unicorn head?"
Hearing Karla's voice was enough to remind Comet that he had other friends over who were completely in the dark. Not even he was that rude. "Oh, duh! I never told you guys about MC," Comet thought out loud before waving over to his friends. "Guys, come on over and meet my best friend!"
"But I thought Marcia was your-" Jackson started to say, only for Marcia to shush him.
"Trust me, don't argue about this," she said as she got to her feet. "Let's get this over with," she told them as she got them all to walk over to Comet's mirror, with the boy in question looking ecstatic as usual.
"Yo, D-Fly, who these people? I don't recognize some of them."
"MC, allow me to introduce you to my friends Jackson and Karla. Guys, this is my best friend, Mare Cranium Colthead, but I call him MC."
"And I'm so glad that you do, because my full name sucks!" MC commented.
"You don't know MC because, until recently, he was trapped in the hellhole that was Sgt. Oleg's Reform School for Wayward Princes."
"That school you were always freaked out over?" Jackson asked, curious.
"Yeah, that's the place. And whatever it was my boy told you about that place, it's all true. That place was the worst!" MC clarified. "Until the day when my best bestie/brother from another mother busted in, tore the Headmaster a new, and ran him out of office! Whoo! Thanks again for the birthday gift, D-Fly!"
Comet coughed. "I think you're forgetting someone," Comet said before motioning to Marcia.
MC groaned. "And thank you, too, Earth Turd, or whatever," he added on.
"Good enough," Marcia conceded while her two friends were confused about MC's nickname for her.
"So, MC, what are you calling about?" Comet asked, getting back on topic. "Did you just want to talk to me again?
"Oh, oh yeah," MC said as he remembered what he had called Comet for. "Comet, don't bother sitting down for this, because you are going to be standing right back up. I finally got a lead!"
Comet gasped. "Does that mean what I think it means?!"
"You know it, D-Fly. We finally managed to track down the location of the Goblin Truck!"
If the others thought Comet was being loud now, they were in for a surprise when the two boys started screaming like stereotypical fangirls at a boy band concert.
"Do I even want to know what a 'goblin truck' is?" Marcia asked over the screaming.
MC gasped in shock. "D-Fly, you never told them about the Goblin Truck? What's wrong with you, man!?"
"Sorry, you're right!" Comet admitted before turning to look at his friends. "The Goblin Tuck is this roving food truck that travels the Universe, selling Goblin Dogs-"
"-Which are, like, one of the most delicious things that you could ever hope to eat! Yo, some have actually died trying to get a bite of one of them!" MC finished.
"It's been a dream of ours since we were kids to eat a Goblin Dog, but the truck moves around so much, it's almost impossible to pin down!" Comet was practically drooling as he spoke.
"Well, not anymore. Thanks to a friend of ours, we finally managed to figure out where the truck will be next, and they already got a spot in line saved for us!"
Comet gasped even louder. "MC, you better not be messing with about this!"
"Comet, Bro, would I mess with you about something like this? Why are you still standing there? Get your ass over here right now! I'm about to get in line!"
"We'll be there in five minutes, MC. Wait up for us!"
MC's face fell a little when he realized that Comet meant to bring his human friends with him, but otherwise, he didn't say anything in response. He was too pumped about getting a Goblin Dog to be bummed out.
"See you in a few, bro!" MC finally said, ending the call. Comet then turned towards his gathered friends.
"Guys, whatever plans we had for the rest of the day have to be put on hold. We're going to get Goblin Dogs!" As the others watched, Comet began to run around his bedroom, chanting "Goblin Dogs!" Over and over again. He even managed to run up the walls and ceiling at one point.
Marcia sighed, for she knew that there was no way for any of them to get out of this. Once Comet was hyped up about something like this, there was no reasoning with him. "Come on, guys," she told Karla and Jackson. "Let's go get my backpack out of my closet."
"Huh?" Karla asked.
"Trust me, guys. If this turns out to be anything like I think it is, then you're going to thank me for this later," she said as she walked towards her bedroom.
While Comet continued to hype himself up and the others went to Marcia's room, no one noticed that they were being watched from afar by Rastkora.
It had not taken her long to locate two of her three targets on Earth. She found them with relative ease between her gemstone and her heightened Septarian senses. She used her gem, connected to a small reconnaissance drone, to eavesdrop on their conversation, confirming their identities as two of the Princes Mr. Abhorrent wanted. While the dark-haired boy's choice of disguise was...odd, she did not question it. She didn't judge people for shit like that, especially since they would likely be dead soon.
Initially, she had planned to capture the two and interrogate them on the whereabouts of the Colthead, but it would seem that fate played into her favor. Now, all she had to do was simply follow them to whatever dimension they were headed to, and then subdue them all at once. The other two teens would be a bit of a problem, as anyone else might show up. Still, Rastkora had done jobs that required her to visit large public places before. Nothing a little stealth, intimidation, and eliminating witnesses couldn't fix.
This will be easier than I thought, Rastkora thought as she waited for the group to leave so that she may follow.
"So, are you sure that this is the place, Comet?" Marcia asked as the quartet exited the portal, only to find themselves in some sort of desert dimension.
"This is the place that MC told us to meet him, Marcia," Comet said as he led the way. "Besides, has MC ever steered us wrong? Don't answer that."
Marcia just shrugged her shoulders at this. "Whatever. Let's get this over with," she said as she followed Comet over a nearby hill, albeit nowhere near as fast as Comet would've liked.
"Come on, guys! We can't afford to be slow right now! Who knows when we'll be able to find the Goblin Truck again!"
"Uh, no offense, Comet, but it's kind of hard to run fast when one of us is carrying so much extra cargo," Jackson said before gesturing to the heavy backpack that Marcia was currently wearing.
"I don't even know why you guys brought that thing, anyway," Comet admitted. "It's not like we're going to need it for Goblin Dogs!"
"Trust me, Comet, we're going to need it," Marcia simply told her friend, who chose to ignore her in favor of hyping himself up over getting a Goblin Dog and seeing his best buddy, MC as we ran ahead. He soon stopped dead in his track, though, as he found himself face to face with a sight that he had dreamed of for many years.
"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! We found it! We actually found it!" Comet shouted as he jumped up and down in glee.
"Found what, Comet?" Karla asked as she and the others caught up. That's when they all saw what Comet had seen: a monstrously long line that seemed to snake on for miles on end. And at the very end of that line, faintly visible in the distance, was a colorful truck. While his human companions couldn't quite make it out, Comet's Mewman physiology gave him better eyesight than the average human. Even if it didn't, though, he could still tell that it was the long-sought-after Goblin Truck.
"My friends, we HAVE FOUND THE GOBLIN TRUCK!"
While the sight of the massive line seemed like a cause to celebrate from Comet's perspective, from his friend's point of view, they were facing a daunting challenge. This had to be one of the biggest lines that any of the teens had ever seen, and they had seen some big lines for shit. Had this not been so important to Comet, then some of them would've obeyed their first instinct and left. However, Comet was their friend and had done so much for them. Besides, Marcia had predicted that things would be this bad and had prepared in advance. Reluctantly, they followed Comet as he bounded down towards the line, praying that things wouldn't be as bad as they looked.
"Okay, guys. We just need to keep an eye for MC. He and my other friend should be holding our place somewhere in line for us," Comet said as he led them down the throng of people from all sorts of dimensions.
"I hope you realize that this is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack, Comet," Marcia told him as she resigned herself to this taking up the rest of her day.
"Yo, D-Fly! Over here!" A familiar voice called out ahead of them, which Marcia knew right away had to be that of MC. Sure enough, the floating unicorn head poked his head (which was also his body) out of the line, a short bit away from them. Rather than wait for Comet to reach him, though, MC decided to come to them, flying over the people before coming to a stop right in front of Comet's face.
"MC!"
"Bro!"
The two boys proceeded to hug it out as the others watched with smiles on their faces. Some people may criticize them for hugging, but when it came to Comet, hugging was par for the course.
"I still can't believe you guys finally managed to find the truck, MC. We've been looking for it years and had no luck,"
"Yeah, well, I can't take full credit, D-Fly. Killian was the one who found it, and you can thank him."
"Killian? Oh man, I haven't seen him in forever. I can't wait to catch up with him!"
"Um, MC?" Marcia interrupted. "Please tell me that you didn't just abandon your place in this incredibly long line like an idiot? Because I don't think we'll make it if we have to start all the way in the back," she said as her eye began to twitch in frustration.
Finally acknowledging Marcia's presence, MC floated over to the other's location. "Don't be ridiculous, Earth Turd. Our man Killian's saving our place in line. Suprised you decided to show, though. I didn't think this was the sort of thing that you'd want to do."
"Oh, it's nothing. After all, isn't that what friends do? Help their best friends out when they need it?" Marcia shot back, making it clear she was in no mood to deal with MC's sass today. Even though things had cooled between them after Sgt. Oleg's, the two didn't hesitate to take shots at each other over their relationship with Comet.
"Uh, is everything alright, guys?" Jackson asked, looking a bit concerned as he swore he could see the two pull out one of those Stand things from that anime that Al and Ferguson liked.
"Everything's fine, Jackson," Marcia finally said, breaking off the confrontation. "MC, say hi to Comet's other friends."
"Huh? Oh yeah, I forgot about you guys, whatever your names were," MC bluntly told Jackson and Karla, though they didn't seem too upset about this as Marcia was. Smiling, Jackson stepped forward and greeted the floating head.
"What up? I'm Jackson Lee Thomas, Comet's friend from school and future sports superstar," he said in a laidback, friendly tone. "By the way, like your mane."
MC looked Jackson up and down for a moment, making Marcia nervous that something bad was about to happen. Much to her surprise, though, MC didn't negatively react to Jackson like she thought he would. Instead, MC returned the smile and complimented him by saying, "Thanks. I like the blue highlight in your hair. You do that yourself?"
"I've had practice," Jackson admitted.
"Nice," MC told him before noticing Karla standing by herself. "And who would you happen to be?"
"Sup?" Karla said, raising a hand as a casual greeting. "Name's Karla."
"Wait, Karla? *gasp* Oh. My. Corn, I know about you! You're that new talent that everyone's been saying is tearing it up at the Bounce Lounge!" MC excitedly said.
"Yeah. The owner lets me play there after I helped save her back in Symphonia, but I-"
"Wait, that was you?!" MC started to bow his head in complete and utter reverence towards the young musician. "Oh, great Karla, on behalf of all those who follow the ways of the great Milly Sparkles, we thank you for saving our lord and savior!"
Marcia and Jackson couldn't help but giggle a little when they saw MC's devotion to Milly Sparkles. They had helped during the incident in Symphonia and had seen Comet treat the owner of the Bounce Lounge like this, but it was still funny.
"Comet!" MC shouted as he wheeled back around to speak to his best bestie. "Why didn't you tell me that that super awesome rocker girl you were friends with from Earth was the new girl playing at the Bounce Lounge!?" If MC had any arms, he'd be shaking Comet like a ragdoll, but all he could do was settle for yelling at him.
"You didn't ask," Comet simply said.
"Yeah, well, if she's cool enough to play at the Bounce Lounge, then I guess she's cool enough to hang with us. And I like that guy's hairstyle and fashion sense." MC then got in closer to Comet, "So, Comet, level with me, man. Is that the girl you were telling me about?"
Comet nodded his head. He told MC about his crush on Karla a while back.
"Okay, I get why you want to bring her to impress her and shit, but did you have to bring Earth Turd? She doesn't even look like she wants to be here."
"Well, here's the thing: Marcia likes Jackson, and I'm trying to get her to tell him that by having them spend more time together. And I thought, 'Hey, this is a great way to kill three timberwolves with one boulder'."
"Comet, you sly dog, you," MC complimented how clever his bestie could be. "Well, don't you worry. I will make sure you get some quality time with your lady friend...and that that cool dude can hang with Earth Turd or whatever."
"What are you guys talking about?" Marcia asked, not liking the idea of MC talking to Comet alone.
"None of your business, Earth Turd. Now, come on! We can't keep Killian waiting!" MC then sped down the line, prompting the others to follow closely behind.
"So is this guy always like this, Marcia?" Jackson asked.
"Pretty much, Jackson. I'd say you get used to it, but that'd be a lie."
After running back down the line for some time, MC finally came to a stop near this giant tree with a face on it. "Well, here it is. Yo, Killian! Comet's here!" At MC's voice, a green and fluffy head poked its way out of the crowd.
"Killian!" Comet cried out as he ran over to the fluffy-headed creature. "Long time no see, man! How you been, buddy?"
Killian didn't really say anything at first, just shrugging his shoulders.
"Well, it's great to see you again. I haven't heard from you since before I got my Wand. Speaking of which...ta-da!" With a tiny bit of fanfare, Comet then pulled out his Wand to show to Killian. "Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I know the star's cracked, but there's a good reason for that. See, one of my friends got kidnapped and...oh, duh! Where are my manners?" Comet slapped himself on the head as he suddenly remembered bringing his friends from Earth with. "Hey, guys! Come over here and meet my pal!"
"You know...you could always help us carry this stuff, Comet...instead of...just running off by yourself," Marcia said as she tried to catch her breath, having finally caught up to her overly-energetic roommate. Backpacks were not great for running, no matter how in shape you were!
"Aww, what's wrong, Earth Turd? Is getting a Goblin Dog too much for you?" MC mockingly asked her.
"Save it, Colthead! I ain't quitting, and neither are my friends!" Marcia retorted.
"Whatever, girl. Thanks for saving a spot for us, Killian," MC said as he quickly began to address the guy standing in line, who just blinked in response.
"So, Comet, who's your friend?" Karla asked as she and Jackson joined up with the others.
"Guys, allow me to introduce Killian, me and MC's longtime buddy, and occasional sparring partner when we were younger. Killian, meet my friends from Earth."
"Hey there," a voice came out from inside the green fluff that made up Killian's head as he stepped forward. He had on a dark purple, striped shirt, matching shoes with little wings on them, and black jeans and a black jacket to complete his outfit. Much to the human's surprise, Killian then pulled back his hair before tying it into a man-tail, revealing him to have exotic, brown skin and a set of glasses on him...and no nose. "Nice to meet you guys. Any friends of Comet are friends of mine," he said as he held out his hand, letting Marcia shake it.
"Likewise," Marcia politely said before looking a bit more at Killian. "You...look familiar. Have we met before?"
"I doubt it," Killian said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm not even a Mewman; I'm from Woolandia. I doubt that you guys have met us before."
"Actually, that's not true. We met your uncle once, remember, Marcia?"
"We did? When?"
"In Libertalia," Comet said as a matter-of-factly. "Rayleigh's Killian's great-uncle."
"Rayleigh? Oh, yeah, the old man we met that time!" Jackson said as the memory of their little adventure back involving pirates and merpeople...and him getting to live out a childhood dream. That was a good day.
"Yeah. Uncle Rayleigh used to look after me whenever my parents were busy," Killian explained. "That's how I met Comet, actually. Rayleigh brought him back with him one day, said he was going to teach him. We have been friends ever since. He says hi, by the way, and thanks for the extra help."
"Glad to hear he's doing alright and glad to see you again, Killian," Comet said as he put a hand on the Woolett's shoulders. "Now, come on! Let's catch up. I've got a lot of crazy shit that I've got to tell you about!"
"Aw, come on, dude! Don't leave me out of this! I got stuff I wanna unpack!" MC said as he ditched Marcia, Jackson, and Karla.
"They couldn't even offer to carry some of this, could they?" Marcia asked in frustration before letting out a sigh of resignation. "Come on, guys. We might as well get settled in. It looks like we'll be here a while."
While Marcia and her compatriots started to unpack everything from the massive backpack that she'd brought, Comet caught up with his old friends on what's been going on in each of their lives.
Of the three, Comet had the most to say out of all of them. He began to regale MC and Killian about the many adventures (and misadventures) that he had gone on since getting sent to Earth, including, but not limited to:
Messing with the football game with the Silver Hill Warriors and creating a scene that rivaled that of the Warnicorn Incident
Defeating a crew of bloodthirsty pirates and rescuing Aqua (something both of them were very happy about)
Brittney's birthday party and how he gave her a massive reality check (though he downplayed it)
The events in Symphonia (MC wished he could've been there)
The rollerblade relay and what they made Lars do afterward
The re-enactment of Mewnipendence Day and all that happened.
Marcia getting captured and how Comet tried to rescue her (though he did feel a little uncomfortable doing so)
When all was said and done, MC and Killian were both pretty impressed by all that happened to Comet since he got his Wand. After he had finished, Killian was the next to speak.
As Marcia listened in (she couldn't help it, they weren't exactly being quiet), she learned a few things about Killian. His people, the Wooletts, had a culture that placed great importance on martial prowess. Or, to put it in simple terms, they liked to fight and were good at it. Many of them would venture out into the wider Universe in search of new opponents to battle, which gave them a bit of reputation as constant seekers of action.
Killian was no exception, as when he spoke about what he'd been doing while Comet was away, it revolved around training himself in his home dimension in the hopes of getting stronger. Apparently, he and Comet had had a friendly rivalry going on since they were kids, trying to see who was the stronger fighter, and their time apart had not diminished that in the slightest. If it weren't for the fact that they were waiting on these "goblin dogs," Marcia was sure that the two would start wrestling then and there.
At any rate, Killian hadn't just been staying in his home dimension; he had decided to drop by Libertalia to see his great-uncle not long after Comet and the others had visited. When he got there, he heard everything that had gone on with Diavolo from Rayleigh and the townspeople. Learning that his friend Comet had shown up with his Wand and a new group of friends to save everyone had put Killian at ease; it meant that his longtime friend was doing fine.
Naturally, he decided to help his uncle and the townspeople clean things, working to rebuild their homes and businesses...and also hunt down any members of Diavolo's crew that had escaped into the jungles. By the time he left a few days later, Libertalia was well on its way to becoming the thriving hub of adventurers and treasure-seekers that Comet spoke about.
As an aside, Killian had also become acquainted with the Pirate Trio of Henry, Patrick, and Glenn, who were happily serving out their time as Rayleigh's dockhands. The three had been a big help to the elder Woolett, and while the rest of the town still had their misgivings about three ex-pirates living with them, the three's penchant for tomfoolery endeared them to the citizens. That, and they proved themselves to be surprisingly good fishermen that could wrangle just about anything. Last Killian saw of them, the trio talked about opening up a bar once Rayleigh let them go so they could serve whatever they caught to the townsfolk.
Then there was MC. He remained as loud and obnoxious as ever, like his time in Sgt. Oleg's had done nothing to temper his need to be the center of attention every waking moment, much to Marcia's inner dismay. Even though Marcia considered Sgt. Oleg's to be a boarding school from Hell, a small part of her wished that MC's experiences would make him reflect on why he got sent there in the first place. Then again, she was fairly certain that MC was the kind of person who would keep acting like he is as a means of giving the school, with its inhumane and unethical treatment, the proverbial finger.
And MC Colthead had definitely given Sgt. Oleg's Reform School for Wayward Princes the finger.
Following their successful revolt and seizing control of the school, MC had made good on his promise to let the Universe know what had been going on at the "prestigious" school. He and the other Princes got inside Mr. Abhorrent's office and the school records and retrieved every last piece of information about the school they could find. It's history, files on past and present students and necessary methods to "reform" them, instruction manuals regarding the cruel ways the Headmaster and Staff used on the students, and even security footage showing the students' abuse. They took everything they could find and proceeded to upload it onto the U-Net and spread it around for everyone to see. The results spoke for themselves.
The news that the school that many Royals sent their problem children to was essentially torturing and brainwashing its students rocked high society across the Universe. Many of its former students started to step forward and speak out about what they went through, adding more fuel to the fire. Monarchs considering sending their sons now refused to enroll them, while many alumni parents made tearful apologies to their children. The Kings and Queens who advocated for the Reform School now found themselves humiliated, with some going so far as to question whether they knew what was going on the entire time.
No matter what, though, the royal community was determined to punish those responsible for what happened, so they sent dozens of soldiers to the school to arrest the staff, most of whom the Princes had taken prisoner after seizing Sgt. O's.
"...And you should've seen the looks on those windbag's faces when they got hauled off to the big house, you guys! It was hilarious!" MC proclaimed as he continued his story. "They were all like 'But I didnt' do anything wrong!' and 'I don't deserve this! I was just doing my job!'" MC said as he mockingly imitated the teachers, sad faces and everything. "And that one teacher that that Glorkon guy looked ready to throttle? Well, after we were done throwing eggs and water balloons, the big guy just walked to that chump and gave him the mother of all wedgies!" MC couldn't stop laughing as he remembered all of this. "The man had to waddle all the way into the portal!"
"Ha! Nice!" Comet grinned.
"Yeah, I really wish you could've been there to see it, D-Fly," MC lamented. "Sadly, the former Headmaster was not among those getting hauled off to prison. Apparently, he and that little gremlin of his bailed way before we could get our hands on them, and we got no idea where they are," the floating horse head admitted. "But I doubt that he'll be coming back anytime soon. My Mom put out a huge bounty on him, and we reprogrammed his robots to beat the shit out of him if he sets foot inside the school. BTDubs, the school's now run by the rest of the Princes and me, and we've turned it into a school about partying and doing whatever we want. And we're also renaming it to 'Sgt. Oleg's School for Kickass Princes.'"
"Wait, you're telling me that you're in charge of the school now?" Marcia couldn't help but finally interject. "Those poor boys."
"Um, excuse me? And just what is that supposed to mean, Earth Turd?" MC asked as he floated over to where Marcia and the others were busy organizing the things in her backpack.
"It means that if you're in charge, then what's left of that school is going to be run into the ground," Marcia stated in a very matter-of-fact tone.
"Pfft, no, it won't, Earth Turd," MC said, swiftly denying the entire notion. Right as he was about to retort, though, he couldn't help but notice the obscene amount of stuff that lay on the ground next to Marcia and her human friends. There were several bottles of water, some sort of gaming device, comic books, inflatable pillows, bags of chips, and portable chargers lying on the ground next to them.
"Hey, what the Seven Hells is all this stuff for?" MC asked, not getting why Marcia had brought all this stuff with her in the first place.
"This, MC," Marcia gestured with one hand, "is my line waiting survival kit, created for the sole purpose of helping me to survive waiting in ridiculously long lines," she explained, her voice filled with pride.
Unfortunately, MC did not share that sentiment, as he summed up his opinion on the matter in a single word: "Lame."
"It's not lame, MC, and it's called 'being practical'," Marcia said in rebuttal.
"Hey, girl, if you want to lie to yourself that it's cool to carry all that stuff around just to wait in line for something, then go ahead and be my guest," MC continued, not convinced in the slightest.
Marcia stood up from where she'd been sitting in line and proceeded to look MC dead in the eye as the rest of her friends watched. "It. Is not. Lame," she said, glaring at Comet's other bestie. "And just so you know, I brought all of this stuff for everyone here to share so that we can make waiting for these hot dogs-"
"Goblin Dogs," MC corrected her.
"-Goblin Dogs more bearable. But if you're gonna be like that, then I guess you're not going to get anything," she told the floating horse head without a hint of fear in her voice.
"Whatever. It's still lame and you can't convince me otherwise," MC said as he floated back to Comet while Jackson and Karla looked on.
"Well, he's...interesting," Jackson said for the first time, having kept quiet while Comet caught up with his old friends. He had only just met MC, so he wanted to make sure he'd get along well with him since he was important to Comet. Having seen how he treated Marcia, though, he was beginning to question whether that would be worth the time and energy.
"So, is he always like this?" Karla curiously asked. "Or is this just one of his 'off days'?"
"No, this is pretty much what he's like all the time," Marcia admitted, earning her a look of sympathy from Jackson and Karla. "But at least he's not trying to ditch me in another dimension anymore."
"Marcia," Jackson said as he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "you are a saint for being able to tolerate him."
"And for what it's worth, I think this survival kit's a good idea," Karla said, reassuring her friend. "And that's coming from me."
"Thanks, guys. I'm glad you decided to come along with us," Marcia said, smiling at the two before lowering her voice to a hushed tone. "To be honest, I don't know if I could put up with MC by myself for several hours."
"Oh, come on, Marcia," Comet said as he suddenly appeared behind Marcia, nearly scaring the daylights out of her. "I know that the line's long, but I don't think that it's going to take us several hours to get some Goblin Dogs."
Before Marcia could tell her friend how wrong he was (or yell at him for almost giving her a heart attack), one of the strangest things the human girl had ever experienced happened. A small creature with green skin, pointy ears and nose, a large chin, dark green lips, sharp teeth, and black eyes and wearing the uniform of a professional marching band came jogging up next to their spot in line. In his hand was an accordion and on his back was a marcher's drum and symbol with a cartoonish-looking hot dog drawn onto it, and he was singing this weird song.
" You might think this line is long. But listen to my goblin song. It's been hours since you ate, but goblin dogs are worth the wait Yeah!"
As the little green man, who Marcia guessed was a Goblin, continued singing up the line, she and her Earth-born friends were left dumbfounded by what they had just witnessed.
"What is happening right now?" Marcia couldn't help but think out loud.
"Well, that's not something I expected to see today, or ever," Jackson said as even he had trouble processing everything.
"I don't know, but I think I might have gotten inspiration for a new song," Karla told the others as she pulled out a pen and paper from who knows where and began to jot stuff down.
Marcia wasn't sure if it was because of how long the line was or the surreal sight of the Goblin singing a song for a food truck, but it seemed to confirm what she suspected. "Yep. This is going to be a long wait," she said as she sat on the ground, pulled out a book from her backpack, and began to read.
"Don't be so negative, Marcia," Comet told her as he grinned optimistically. "I'm betting that we'll be at the front of the line before you know it!"
Jay: Oh, Comet. Poor, foolish, naive Comet. You have no idea just how long lines for stuff like this can be. Trust me, dude. All that shit that Marcia was packing is going to save you from dying of boredom.
But seriously, folks, those lines can be hours long. You need to be ready to wait for as long as possible. Kind of like how you're gonna have to wait to see how this turns out next chapter. I wanted to try and get it all done in one chapter, but I couldn't due to pacing issues. My bad.
Anywho, time for
READER'S REVIEWS!
Guest 1-You get a medal for suggesting Zeno Robinson, my friend.
LockAndKey989-Yeah, you're going to have to wait on Flags, and for an explanation about what Comet knows regarding his Grandpa.
NightAroma-I hate wasps with every fiber of my being. And if the bees die, we have to rely on them to pollinate our plants. And the murder hornets, basically my worst nightmares made manifest. We need to get on with getting rid of them before they wreck everything!
Milo Murphy's Law was a good show. Shame it got cancelled by Disney, which doesn't make sense considering who created it.
No, I'm not reusing Kelly and Tad's VA's, and I'm not using Yuri Lowenthal. I already set my mind on Zeno Robinson.
Julyala-Hope you like Killian
Lord of the Storm-Sleepover is a ways off, but it's going to be fun.
The Wandering Hippie-I got the concept of 'The Itch' from Big City Greens, another Disney show that I like. And yeah, I got some inspiration for this chapter from how you did it in your story with River, though not as emotional. This was a mix of Lake's dual concerns over her son's safety and her desire to be relevant in his life.
ALSO, MURDER HORNETS MUST DIE!
Guest 2-I don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
You know what to do: fave and follow this story, and follow me on Twitter (JZ-Gaming), Insta (RJ Writing Ink), and YouTube (Jungoguy)
Come back next week to see how Comet survives the boredom. Oh, and the lizard assassin.
