Kept you in suspense, huh? LET'S GET IT ON!
"Look, I don't know what it is that you want, but if you let me go, I'll give you all the money I have on me. Please just don't kill me!" Roy begged for the umpteenth million time, to no avail.
"Tempting offer, but no. I've got a job to do, and unfortunately for you, you're just a means to an end," the woman bluntly told him, not caring about his fate whatsoever.
"B-but listen. If you let me go, then maybe I can tell you where those people you're looking for are," the cowardly Goblin spouted out in a desperate plea to save his own skin.
Rastkora had to admit, that did pique her interest. If she could complete her job with the least amount of trouble possible, then she would. Though, in her line of work, she had learned that some people would say just about anything to save themselves, even if it was a complete and utter lie. So, she said nothing and kept waiting for her targets to come to her.
"Hey, you there!"
A voice ultimately broke her concentration and nearly made her drop the little Goblin. However, her calm nerves, honed by years of being a soldier and then a bounty hunter, kept her from making such a potentially fatal mistake. Rather than it coming from the beings that she had hoped to lure out of hiding, though, it was someone else entirely—an elderly-looking lady in a pink dress and a pearl necklace, marching right up to the front of the Goblin Truck.
I don't have time for this. "Beat it, lady. This establishment is closed until I get what I want."
"Yeah, yeah, I heard the dang announcement you made, but I don't care. I came here to get myself a Goblin Dog, and I'm not going to leave until I get what I wanted. Now you are going to put that little Goblin down-" The woman then reached into her purse and proceeded to pull out a sword that should not have been able to fit inside it,"-or I'm going to get nasty. And trust me, you don't want to see when I get nasty!" Like a promise, the woman pointed the sword at Rastkora's face.
Rasktora smiled a little despite herself. This old lady had guts to stand up to her, but she was still out of her league. Deciding to kill some time while she waited for the deadline to expire, Rastkora moved Roy to her organic arm and pointed her metal, cybernetic one at the woman. "Lady, choosing to tangle with me will be the last mistake you'll ever make." She mentally activated one of the extra features she had added to the prosthetic as she said this. Seconds later, the gem embedded in the palm of the arm began to glow as it charged up.
Mrs. Green's eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen. "Oh, crud."
"GREAT EARTHEN BARRIER!"
Right as the energy charge fired from Raskora's arm, a massive wall of rock erupted from the ground in front of Mrs. Green, shielding her as the blast bounced harmlessly off of it, leaving only a scorch mark in its wake.
"What in the-?"
"Hey, buddy," a new voice called out. "I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to go beating up the elderly," came the voice of Comet Dragonfly, Wand-Staff in hand and glowing as it finished charging up the spell he just cast. "Now, let the Goblin go."
There's one target. And the others will likely be not too far behind. Guess I no longer need this chump. And with that, Rastkora proceeded to toss Roy into the walls of the Truck like a ragdoll, knocking him out cold, much to Comet's concern. Before the boy could react, though, she proceeded to climb over the front-end counter before running about the magically-created wall. Once she reached the top, she then used the construct as a springboard to jump several feet in the air, well over the range of Mrs. Green's sword, before landing on the ground a few feet away from Comet.
"Got to admit, you've got guts trying to face me one-on-one, kid," Rastkora complimented the Prince. "But that's not going to do you much good against me."
"We'll see about that," Comet retorted. "So I take it that Mr. Abhorrent sent you here to bring me in or something?"
"You catch on pretty quick for a Mewman royal, kid," Rastkora snidely remarked. "But yeah, that's pretty much the gist of it—the Headmaster of Sgt. Oleg's Reform School for Wayward Princes has hired me to bring you, the horse head, and Prince Turdius in," she admitted as she proceeded to pull a blade out of her cloak. "However, he didn't say that he wanted you and the horse alive or in one piece!"
Before Comet could even react, Rastkora seemed to have disappeared. No, disappeared wasn't quite the right word. It was more like she had moved so fast that his eyes had trouble keeping up with it at first. Fortunately, his Johanssen battle instincts compensated somewhat, as he was able to figure out that she had somehow gotten behind him. Wheeling on the balls of his feet, he managed to turn around just in time to parry the bounty hunter's blade with the handle of his Wand, but just barely.
"Not bad, kid," Rastkora grunted, "you Mewmans are pretty well known for being tough by nature. But that's still not going to be enough to beat me!"
The next few moments were a pattern of dodging and blocking as Comet found himself forced on the defensive. Whenever he tried to make a jab with his Wand or land a punch or kick, she would immediately block it before counterattacking. It was incredibly frustrating, and it only served to aggravate the boy.
What the Seven Hells? How can this person counter me so easily? It doesn't make any sense! Realizing that trying to beat this person in a straight-up melee, Comet decided that his best option was to use magic like he should've done from the start. That, however, proved to be easier said than done. Every time Comet tried to get some distance between the two of them, Rastkora would strike at him before he could do so. What was worse, Comet was so focused on trying to do this that he failed to realize that his opponent was getting several hits in with her blade.
The cuts were shallow, almost too shallow to draw blood, but they were still there. And the more he got cut, the more frustrated Comet managed to get.
Damn it, these lady's good. Why can't I hit her? Just then, Comet was brought out of his thoughts by the sounds of someone else crying out something.
"Hey, kid! Get your head out of your ass and focus!"
At that exact moment, Mrs. Green came running in and, with a swing of her sword, proceeded to lop off the arm that had been wielding the blade, sending it falling to the ground in a spray of green blood.
"Holy shit!" Comet couldn't help but exclaim. This wasn't the first time that he'd seen blood spurting out of another living being, but still, this was not something that he expected to see when he woke up today.
"Heh heh heh. You still got it, Alice Green," the woman chuckled to herself as she felt pleased with her handiwork. As for Rastkora, so just stood there for a minute or two, looking at her severed arm...and then got this sinister grin on her face.
"Gotta hand it to ya. It's been a while since someone's managed to do something like that to me." Then, as Mrs. Green and Comet watched, the flesh near the stump of their attacker's arm began to morph and twist itself until finally, a new arm had completely grown in its place.
"Oh, no," Comet squeaked out as the realization of just who he had been fighting hit him. "Please don't tell me that you're what I think you are?"
"I'd say that I was sorry to disappoint you, brat, but that'd be a lie," Rastkora said as she got this predatory look on her face before deciding to ditch her cloak and give her target a good look at what was going to bring her down. She used her newly regrown arm to remove the covering and reveal herself in all her reptilian glory in one deft motion. "My name's Rastkora Chaosus Disastervaine," she proclaimed as the sunlight began to glisten off the gemstone in place of her left eye. "And there's nothing that's going to stop me from bringing you to my client, alive...or dead," she said menacingly as her one eye narrowed in on him like a predator ready to make the kill.
Comet gulped, a bout of nervousness rising like bile in his throat even as he forced it back down. Before now, he had only encountered a Septarian once in his life, that being the dreaded Toffee. It had been weeks since the lizard had orchestrated Marcia's kidnapping and near-death experience, a situation that had deeply affected both her and the Prince of Mewni. Because of Toffee, Comet had to nearly sacrifice his Wand to save Marcia's life. While he did not regret that decision in the slightest, he regretted not listening to his friends' advice before rushing straight in to confront the enigmatic Septarian. Perhaps, if he had taken the time to think things through before...
No, no! I can't think like that! I made my choice back then, and I would do it all over again if it meant saving Marcia's life! Comet quickly reminded himself as he found himself face-to-face with another Septarian. The more rational side of his mind (yes, even he had that) told him to stay calm and think things through. However, when he saw Rastkora eyeing him like a piece of meat ready to be devoured, all he saw was the cool and calculating face of Toffee staring back at him—judging him—mocking him. And all he felt at that point was rage.
"NARWHAL BLAST!" Comet shouted, his voice carrying across the fields as the swarm of narwhals shot out of his Wand and began to fly at top speeds toward's Rastkora. To his bewilderment, though, the Septarian Assassin didn't even try to dodge. Instead, she got this toothy grin before pointing her cybernetic arm at the approaching narwhals; its gem was beginning to glow.
"What, are you supposed to give them high fi-"
But Comet didn't have a chance to finish that remark, for the gem pulsing in the arm began to do something. At first, Comet expected it to fire off some more energy blasts, but instead, it converted its energy into a blade that sheathed the metal appendage in glowing, purple energy. Rastkora then leaped forward and expertly cut down each of the attacking narwhals using skills that had no doubt had taken years to hone. The poor creatures tumbled to the ground around the assassin, battered and bruised. One of their number had the misfortune to have their horn broken, with Rastkora holding it in her free hand like a makeshift weapon.
"Nice weapon," Rastkora said as she eyed the bony spear. "But you should know something, kid. If you're going to throw something sharp like this, make sure you stick the other guy with the pointy end!" And with that, Rastkora threw the horn back at Comet at an almost mind-boggling speed.
"Airstrike shield!" Comet hastily called out, summoning a shield in mid-air between him and the oncoming projectile. Incredibly, the horn still managed to break through the magical construct, embedding itself inside until it was sticking out the other end. It had come dangerously close to skewering Comet like a kebob.
Comet could feel beads of sweat beginning to form across his brow. He was no stranger to fighting opponents that were willing to take his life. Had Ludo gotten the opportunity, he may have killed Comet or left him to die to obtain his Wand. During his battle with Diavolo for the fate of Libertalia, the Pirate made no secret his desire to run him through with his sword. Both them, and many others, failed to do so. Yet Rastkora seemed perfectly capable of doing so.
This is bad! Is this how strong Septarians really are? Comet grimly thought to himself as he tried to think of some way to best the bounty hunter, who was already making her way towards him. Within seconds, she would be on him, and that would be it. However, it would seem that the Universe had other ideas.
"Hey, you overgrown lizard! Didn't I tell you that messing with me was the last mistake you'd ever make?" Cried out the voice of Alice Green, charging behind the lizard woman, her sword raised overhead, ready to split her right down the middle. "Let's see how well you can come back once I cut you into pieces!"
Comet had to admit, this old lady was tough, maybe even tough enough to give some of his Johannsen relatives a run for their money. Sadly, though, she proved to be out of her league. Before the blade made contact, Rastkora used her metal limb to grab hold of it before tossing it off to one side as casually as one would throw away a piece of garbage.
"Ah, crud," was all Mrs. Green managed to get out before she felt herself get launched at least a dozen or so feet away via kick to the gut.
"Mrs. Green!" Comet cried out in concern as the older woman lay on the ground in a dazed state, covered in dust and scratches from what just happened. That in itself proved to be almost a fatal mistake, for he lost the concentration that he needed to maintain his shield.
"Sorry, brat, but it looks like your luck's run out!" Rastkora shouted as she launched herself directly at Comet. The speed at which she was going, combined with the panic that Comet was going through, meant that there was no time for him to react.
Oh, shit, was all that managed to go through Comet's head as he shut his eyes and braced for the worst. Yet the worst never came.
"CHA!"
Out of nowhere, Marcia Diaz came jumping in from above, her face one of iron will and determination as she delivered a massive dropkick to Rastkora's face. While it wasn't that powerful, given the fact that Marcia was still a human teenager, the bounty hunter was so caught off-guard by it that she had no time to prepare herself. As a result, she got sent flying several feet away into a pile of nearby rocks.
Some people might consider that poetic justice, considering what the lizard-woman did to Mrs. Green moments ago.
With their assailant now temporarily dazed, Marcia then made for Comet, helping him to his feet...
"YOU IDIOT! WHAT ON EARTH MAKES YOU THINK THAT RUNNING OFF BY YOURSELF WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA?!"
...and then proceed to verbally flay him alive for his stupidity.
"Marcia..."
"Don't you 'Marcia' me, Comet!" Marcia continued to yell, clearly intent on letting him know just what she thought of him at that moment. "Do you have any idea how stupid that was of you? Incredibly stupid, even by your standards! You could've at least waited for the rest of us to catch up to you or come up with a plan, but no! You had to charge in there like a suicidal blockhead!"
"But I...Goblin Dogs..."
"And another thing! I have to say that for a guy who claims he's been wanting to get one of these magical hot dogs for years, you seem to lack the will to wait in a stupid line!" Marcia continued to criticize her best friend, not even paying attention to that Rastkora was already beginning to get back up until it was almost too late.
Luckily for her, Comet was. Behind Marcia, he saw Rastkora begin to pick herself up off the ground, only to freeze for a moment when he looked at the two teenagers, her singular eye focusing directly on Marcia. Instantly, Comet's mind remembered what, or rather who, Rastkora was here for himself, MC, and "Prince Turdius." And, even though she was not in the attire, she wore while at Sgt. Oleg's, it wouldn't take a genius to notice the uncanny resemblance the girl possessed regarding her alter-ego. Judging by the recognition that ran across the assassin's face, Comet quickly realized that Rastkora knew who Marcia was right away.
Oh no, Comet thought in horror as he realized the danger that his best friend was in, even while Marcia continued to lecture him. Seeing the Septarian raise her metallic arm and point it directly at Marcia's back, Comet's battle instincts flared up.
"Furthermore, Comet-" Marcia said as she kept yelling at her friend, uncharacteristically unaware of what was going on. Taking no time to respond to what she was saying, Comet quickly got up off the ground and got in front of Marcia just as another rose-colored energy blast erupted from the gemstone in Rastkora's metal arm.
"Wha-?" was all that Marcia could say before she saw the energy bolt heading right for her. Comet paid her no mind, though, and he had only seconds to respond to the oncoming attack.
Acting on reflex, Comet cast a spell meant not just to protect them both but to send it back at their attacker. Thankfully, Comet's time watching anime was about to be put to good use.
"MIRROR FORCE!"
Obeying Comet's command, glossy, nigh-invisible barrier appeared before the two teens right as the energy bolt would have connected. As if that wasn't astonishing enough to Rastkora, the attack then proceeded to rebound before traveling back towards her. It was only thanks to her natural speed that she was able to dodge in time, letting the attack leave a scorched mark in the rock where she'd just been.
"That was too close for comfort," Comet said as he let out a breath that he didn't even know he'd been holding before glancing back at Marcia. "Marcia, are you alright?"
"Um, yeah. I'm fine. But I might need to be brought up to speed about what's happening."
Before Comet could go into greater detail, Rastkora beat him to the punch. "What's happening is that you're currently facing Rastkora Chaosus Disastervaine and that someone you're familiar with has asked me to bring the two of you and your horse-friend to them."
"Mr. Abhorrent still wants the freaking smoke then, huh?" Comet said with contempt. "Is he not brave enough to come to get us in person?"
"I don't judge my clients on their bravery, Mewman," Rastkora casually admitted. "Just like I'm not going to judge Prince Turdius for dressing like a girl," she said before pointing at Marcia. "And poorly, I might add."
"Hey!"
"Look, it doesn't matter what you guys do. You're all coming with me. Whether or not you're in one piece, though...is another matter entirely," Rastkora told them before giving a toothy, predatory grin that unnerved both teens.
"I'm sorry, but what did you just say, lady?" A fourth voice called out, prompting the three to look off to the side just in time to see MC come barreling in out of nowhere. "Did I just hear you disrespect my mans, lizard face? Because ain't no one is going to hurt a hair on my bro D-Fly's head!" MC then glared straight at Rastkora, his protectiveness of Comet overshadowing any fear he might have felt earlier.
"Oh, good. And that makes three. Now I can take you all in at on-"
*THWIP*
Before Rastkora had time to finish her sentence, she found herself cut off by the sudden, unexpected appearance of an arrow in the rocks, less than a few inches from where her head was located.
"What in the?"
"Damn, I missed!" came another voice directly behind the trio prompting Marcia to turn around. Much to her surprise, there stood Jackson Lee Thomas, wielding some sort of crossbow in his arms and wearing a scowl on his face. "Killian, are you sure I'm using this right?"
"Yeah, you're using it right, dude," the aforementioned boy said as he ran up beside Jackson, with Karla following close behind. "You likely just need to work on your arm strength if you want to keep it steady."
"Noted," Jackson tersely responded "Still, not bad for a first try."
"Yeah, man. Maybe we should've gotten you one of those slingshots from Quest Buy," Karla complimented him.
"Guys, what are you doing here?" Marcia asked as the others came down to join them. "Can't you see that this isn't something that you should be getting involved in?"
"Marcia, we've known Comet for a while now," Karla pointed out. "Facing down some freaky bounty hunter is pretty much par for the course at this point."
"Yeah, Marcia," Jackson said. "Besides, what kind of friends would we be if we let you guys do all the fighting?"
"But-"
"Earth Turd, just let us help you, alright?" MC told Marcia. "This lady came here and ruined our chance at getting Goblin Dogs, and now she must pay," he said as he began to glare daggers at Rastkora as his horn began to glow.
Rastkora began to growl. She had been prepared to take on her three targets in combat if she had to, but then the old woman had decided to intervene and complicate things. And now, the others had chosen to step in. She could take all of them on if she had to, but it made things harder than necessary.
This had better be worth the money that man's paying me, Rastkora said as she raised her metal arm again and began to charge up another attack.
"Oh no, you don't!"
Suddenly, Killian appeared in front and below where Rastkora had been standing, wielding what could only be described as some sort of cutlass that he was in the process of swinging at the Septarian's midsection. Acting quickly, the assassin stopped charging up her arm and instead brought it down against the oncoming sword with a loud *CLANG*
"You are not one of my targets, so I suggest that you get out of my way, boy," Rastkora growled at Killian as iron and steel crackled against each other.
"And let you harm a hair on my friends? I don't think so," Killian grunted. "Besides, I've kinda always wanted to test my mettle against a Septarian," he added with a cocky look on his face before jumping back as Rastkora pulled out a dagger from within her cloak and swung it at Killian's eye.
The others watched as the two fighters began to clash with a mixture of surprise and apprehension on their faces. At least, that was what everyone from Earth had on their faces. Comet and MC looked more impressed than worried for their friend's sake.
"Dang, D-Fly. I think the Kill-meister's gotten better since the last time we saw him," MC whistled in admiration.
"Yeah, dude. I mean, I knew that he spent all this time training, but I didn't realize just how much better he'd gotten," Comet said with a look of awe on his face.
"Yeah, bro. I think he might be even better at fighting than you are right now," MC off-handedly commented, much to Comet's ire.
"Yeah, right! I don't know what he's been doing, but I haven't been going soft. I've been fighting Monsters and practicing my magic the entire time I've been on Earth!" Comet said in an indignant tone.
"Whatever, man. But seriously, you should probably go and help our boy, D-Fly. I don't think he's going to last that long against a Septarian."
"Um, guys?" Marcia tried to speak up.
"I think you mean we should go help him," Comet corrected MC, a little disappointed at his friend's cowardice.
"Guys?" Marcia said again.
"All right, fine! We should go help him or whatever," MC grumbled. "So, you ready?"
"Oh yeah! That lady may have gotten the drop on us earlier, but now I'm ready for round two!" Comet said as he prepared to charge headlong into the fray once more.
"HOLD IT, YOU TWO!" Marcia shouted, catching the group's attention and putting everyone's eyes on her.
"Hey, Earth Turd. Can't you see that we're about to go kick some ass?" MC complained for the umpteenth time that day.
"You mean you guys were just going to charge in without a plan and potentially get yourselves killed?" Marcia bluntly told them.
"No, we're not," both Comet and MC said simultaneously.
"Yes, you were," Marcia reiterated, and it was clear from her tone of voice that she wasn't in the mood for arguing. "Comet, listen to me," she said directly to her best friend. "You can't always charge headlong into danger without any plan whatsoever. It doesn't matter that you can use magic or outrun and outfight almost everyone I know."
Comet and MC both looked at each other in confusion while the others continued to watch the fight. "I'm pretty sure that I can, Marcia. I mean, it's worked out pretty well for us before."
"Not always, Comet. Do you remember when charging straight into danger hasn't always worked out best for you?"
Comet winced a little at this as he knew that Marcia was talking about the incident with Toffee. He had insisted on charging headlong into Castle Avarius to rescue Marcia, and that battle ended with Marcia coming close to dying and almost losing his Wand for good. If Comet had brought more help with him or had taken his friend's (and Buff Frog's) advice about coming up with a plan, then maybe things wouldn't have gone so poorly for them.
"Comet, I told you before that there's a difference between bravery and reckless and stupid," Marcia continued. "You can't always rush into something without thinking things through and preparing for what you may have to face. Sometimes, you need to learn how to be patient. Take today, for instance: you two insisted on getting Goblin Dogs because they were so amazing, but all you've done is complain about how long it's taking and how much you want to go home."
"No, we-" MC started to say, only for Jackson to cut him off.
"Yeah, that's cap, dude. You two won't stop complaining," the skater said, "and it's kind of annoying."
"But-" Comet started to say, but at this point, Karla spoke up.
"Yeah, man," Karla agreed. "I mean, I've had to wait in line for hours just to get concert tickets. If you guys can't handle waiting for hot dogs, then why did we even come here?"
Hearing the disappointment in Karla's voice was enough to take the stubbornness out of Comet, and then he just felt ashamed. He had asked Karla to come with them so he could show her a good time and impress her, but all he'd done was act like a jerk.
"You'd best listen to friends, young man," came another voice, making everyone look behind them in surprise to see Alice Green limping over to where they were standing, leaning on her sword to walk. "If there's one thing that I've learned in all my years, it's that sometimes, you gotta listen to the advice of those around you. They might be able to see something that you may not see yourself."
"Aww, thank you, Mrs. Green," Marcia said in gratitude, only for the older woman to brush her off.
"Eh, don't get all mushy on me," Mrs. Green grumpily said. "We still got a fight to win, and talking isn't going to get us anywhere. We need to think of a plan to get rid of that lizard lady before she gets rid of all of us."
"Um, guys, I think I have an idea," Comet spoke up, much to everyone's surprise. "Actually, I have a plan to help us."
"Comet," Marcia looked at him in frustration, "if it's what I think it is-"
"No, Marcia, listen," Comet hastily said. "I actually have a spell I've been working on for a while. The upside is that it should be tough enough to send her packing."
"And the downside?" Marcia asked, raising an eyebrow as she did so.
"You guys will have to distract her while I charge it up..." Comet admitted.
"Well, that's no so bad, D-Fly. I mean, I'm pretty good at distracting people-"
"For three minutes, maybe more," Comet finished. "And considering how she's been tanking all of our hits...you know what, we'll be fine."
Marcia sighed as she felt a bead of sweat drop across her face. "I guess we can work with that," she said before looking at everyone. "All right, you heard Comet. We got to buy him some time. Mrs. Green, you and I will help Killian at close range. MC and Jackson, use your crossbow and horn to hit her from a distance. And Karla? You...stay here and guard Comet."
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"Whatever."
"Ready? Break!"
And with that, everyone put their plan in motion and joined into the fray.
"All right, kid, this has been fun, but you're starting to get in my way. Last chance: step aside, or die," Rastkora said during a brief lull in the fighting.
"Not gonna happen," Killian panted as he kept his sword pointed at the Septarian. "I'm not letting you get your claws on my buddies,"
"Suit yourself, then. No skin off my snout," the assassin admitted. "I still got a job to do, and you're not much of a challenge."
"Oh yeah? Then how about the rest of us?"
At that exact moment, Marcia, MC, Jackson, and Mrs. Green came barging in. Marcia and Mrs. Green set themselves into a defensive position besides Killian, with MC and Jackson getting into position behind them, their respective armaments trained on the Septarian.
"The Colthead Prince and Prince Turdius decide to face me in person, I see. At least I won't have to waste time chasing you down," Rastkora boasted.
"Not that you could catch us, anyway," Marcia said before charging towards the Septarian, determined to buy Comet as much time as possible for his plan to be put into effect.
The next several minutes were a blur of activity. Marcia, Killian, and Mrs. Green fought the assassin in hand-to-hand combat while MC and Jackson took frequent pot-shots to keep her off balance. Despite being outnumbered five-to-one, Rastkora did a good job of keeping them at bay. Jackson had been among those who'd read King Solarius' description of the Septarians, and while they didn't get the chance to see what Toffee was capable of, it was clear that Comet's ancestor was not exaggerating. Septarians were fast, deadly, and ruthless in battle. One of them was probably capable of fighting dozens of Mewmans at once. And they were just a group of teens and an older woman. It was all that they could do to hold her off, with any injuries she sustained healing faster than they could hope to inflict them. In addition, that healing power meant that she didn't tire as fast as normal beings would, and the longer they fought, the more ground they began to give to her.
Damn it, Comet. How much longer are we going to have to wait for you? Marcia wondered as she barely managed to dodge Rastkora's claws for the seventh time in the last two minutes. If this kept up, then they were going to lose the fight. And they couldn't afford to lose!
"Come on, come on, Wand! Hurry up and charge already!"
"Comet, how much longer is it going to take, man?" Karla asked, her voice now getting uncharacteristically nervous as she saw that her friends were beginning to lose ground against Rastkora.
"Just a little more...almost...there!" Comet could feel enough magic begin to flow into his Wand and he knew that his spell was ready to be cast. Now all that remained was ensuring that it hit Rastkora.
"Karla, get the others to lure her over here, then make sure that you stay behind me. I don't want you guys to get caught in the blast!" Comet warned.
"I have no idea what you mean, but all right!" Karla then ran over in the direction of the others and started yelling something that Comet couldn't quite make out. Yet he could tell from what she was saying that the others got the gist of it, as they soon started to retreat back to where he was standing, with Rastkora hot on their heels and throwing daggers and energy blasts against them as she did so.
"You think you can get away from me?!" the assassin shouted at them "I am Rastkora Chaosius-"
"OH MY CORN, SHUT UP!" MC snapped. "NO ONE CARES!"
"And just for that, I'm going to make sure you die first!" Rastkora shouted back.
"I don't think so, lady!" Comet said as he watched the rest of his friends and Mrs. Green get behind him. Satisfied that his friends were now out of danger, Comet then turned his Wand, now glowing white-hot with power, directly at Rastkora. And as loudly as he could, he shouted out one phrase:
"THERMONUCLEAR DRAGON ROAR!"
What happened next, Marcia and the others couldn't say for certain. They had to shield their eyes from the blinding white emanating from Comet's Wand. But what they could make out was that something was flying out of Comet's Wand as it barreled its way into Rastkora. By the time they could open their eyes again, Rastkora was sent flying high into the air by, of all things, a white, Asian-styled dragon that had the assassin in its ethereal jaws. Then, just when things couldn't get any weirder, the dragon exploded with what seemed like the force of a mini-nuclear bomb, forcing everyone to close their eyes once more.
And just like that, it was over. The light faded, and Rastkora was nowhere to be found, sort of. As Comet, Marcia, and the others watched the skies, a small object seemed to fall from the sky. It was too hard for anyone to make out, at least, not until it hit the ground, making a small crater in the process. Hesitantly, everyone began to approach the crater, only to stop in their tracks when they saw that it was-
"Her arm?" Someone said, though no one was sure who. Sure enough, there, laying in the crater, was the cybernetic arm of Rastkora, albeit damaged and in severe need of repairs. Yet there was no sign of the assassin herself.
"Do you think she's...dead?" MC gulped, to which Comet shook his head.
"Not likely. King Solarius said that it was extremely hard to kill a Septarian, even with magic," Comet grimly said. "But we did hurt her pretty badly. It will take some time for her to recover from that attack, but when she comes back, we will...be ready...for herrrr..." And then suddenly, Comet lost his footing and began to fall to the ground, only for the others to catch him and help him to his feet.
"Sorry guys," Comet said as he began to collect himself. "I guess using that much magic at once took a lot out of me. I'll be fine, though."
"I'm sorry, did any of us ask you if you were going to die? No, we didn't," Mrs. Green said as she shoved the teens aside and walked over to the robotic arm. "I'm invoking interdimensional dibs protocol on this. It's mine now." No one could bother to argue this, as they were all tired from everything that had happened today. However, the day still wasn't over.
"I can't believe it! You did it! You saved us all!"
Much to the other's confusion, they heard Roy's voice coming from up the hill behind them, causing them to look back. Sure enough, there was Roy, hooting and hollering as he ran down the hill towards the group with the happiest, goofiest look on his face. "You saved my business!"
"Wait, hold up. You're still here? I thought that you'd have high-tailed out of here by now!" MC said as he said what everyone was thinking about.
"Oh, I was going to. After all, the fighting drove away all the people waiting in the lines," Roy said, seemingly unconcerned that his means of business had up and left. "But then I saw you guys fighting that Monster, and I decided that I wanted to stick around and see who'd win. And you guys won! Thank you so much!"
"Um, you're welcome, I guess?" Marcia said on the group's behalf, not sure what to make of this.
"And, for saving me from that Monster, I'm going to give you all Goblin Dogs, Free of charge!"
Everyone's eyes lit up as they heard what Roy had just said. Comet and MC practically had stars in their eyes when they heard this.
"Really?" the two boys asked excitedly, to which Roy nodded.
"Free Goblin Dogs for everyone!"
"ALL RIGHT!" the entire group cheered in joy, some more than others.
Spongebob Narrator: A few minutes later...
"Come on, come on, come on, hurry up Roy!" Comet squealed as he began to jump up and down, only to get a face full of water, courtesy of Marcia's squirt bottle.
"Comet, have you learned nothing from today? Nothing at all?" Marcia asked sardonically, reminding Comet of the lesson that he had learned on this day.
"Yes, Marcia, I know. I learned that patience is a virtue and that I should think things through more often," Comet said in a tone that seemed to suggest that the message hadn't fully sunken in, though Marcia didn't press the issue. "But you would understand why I'm acting like this if you had a taste of these Goblin Dogs! People have killed for them, you know!"
"He's not wrong. I had them once, and they're beyond our ability to describe accurately in the form of words," Killian said, earning him a glare from Marcia, who clearly did not think he was helping.
"By the way, Marcia, I noticed how you fought Rastkora before, and those were some pretty interesting techniques you were using. Where'd you learn them?" Killian asked interestingly.
Somehow, the idea of someone else taking an interest in her skills as a martial artist managed to make Marcia completely forget what she'd been mad about before. "What, those? That was just Karate, an ancient form of martial art practiced on Earth," she said, trying not to sound like she was bragging too much. "It's just one of several forms of unarmed combat we've developed over the centuries," she said in a casual tone.
"Oh?" Killian asked, now clearly interested.
"Oh, yeah. There's Muay Thai, Kung Fu, Kick Boxing, Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, and a whole lot more. You'd be surprised how much Humans have made fighting into an art form," she said, again trying too hard not to sound like she was bragging, though her tone suggested otherwise.
"Cool. Maybe I should come to visit you guys on Earth sometime. It sounds like my people could learn a thing or two from you guys," Killian suggested.
"Killian, my friend, you've got no idea," Jackson said as he put a friendly hand on the Woolett's shoulder. "Have you ever heard of Shonen Anime before?"
"No? What's that?"
"Something that's going to change your life and the lives of everyone in Woolandia, Killian," Comet told him. "When you come to visit us on Earth, my friends Alfonso and Ferguson would love to introduce you to it.
"Count me in, kid! If there's a new to choke the life out of my enemies, then I'm interested," came the voice of Mrs. Green, who was busy polishing off her sword with Rastkora's robot arm slung over her shoulders. "By the way, kid," she said, pointing to Killian, "that's a mighty fine sword and crossbow you got hidden away in your hair. Your family would be very proud of how they were used today."
"So that's where you got those!" Marcia said as she finally got an answer to the question that had been nagging her all during the fight.
"Yeah, my hair can act as a sort of pocket dimension. It's just one of those things that we Wooletts can do," Killian said with a shrug of his shoulders.
Before they could continue the conversation any further, Roy's voice called out from the Goblin Truck. "All right, everyone. Enjoy your Goblin Dogs!" as he brought out a plate of several hot dogs, complete with all the major fixings and the faces of a little, tiny goblin on each of them. The others crowded around, looking at the Goblin Dogs with mixed reactions on their faces.
"These are Goblin Dogs," Marcia asked. "They look just like ordinary hot dogs to me," she said, clearly skeptical, only to be shushed by Comet.
"Shut up, Marcia! Don't ruin this for us!" he said as each of them proceeded to pick one up. Shrugging, Marcia decided to just go for it, grabbed the last one, and took a bite out of it.
"Huh. It tastes just like any other hot dog if you ask m-oohhhhhhhh."
What happened next was difficult to describe with just words alone, so the author decided not to and summed it up like this: they all got really, really, really high and achieved some sort of heightened awareness of the Universe. The next thing they knew, they were waking up back in the desert, the sun was setting, and the Goblin Truck was nowhere to be found.
"Whooaaaaaa," was all Marcia could say as she laid on the desert next Comet and Jackson as she came down from her high.
"That was...intense, man," Jackson said.
"I feel so much inspiration for my music, you guys," Karla replied, not able to believe what she had just gone through.
"This feels like one of those things from that anime show about cooking that I saw," Comet said in a thoughtful tone. "What were they called again? Food-gasms?"
"Comet!" Marcia said, criticizing her friend.
"Hey, girl, I don't know what my friend's talking about, but I think he's right," MC said as he got up off the ground.
"Well, I will say one thing: you were right, MC. Those Goblin Dogs were worth the wait."
"Yeah, they were, weren't they?" MC said, already trying to remember what he had just gone through. "For real, though, I do not want to have to go through that again. I am ready to go home."
"Yeah, it's best that you quit now, you guys," Killian said as he got and adjusted his glasses. "Roy makes me go through this every time. Curse those Goblin Dogs. Why must they be so good?"
"Hey, Killian, thanks again," Marcia said as she walked over to her new friend. "You were a big help today."
"Yeah, girl, it's been great hanging out with you guys." All of a sudden, this tiny, furry creature popped out of Killian's hair, making Marcia stumble backward in shock.
"What the heck?!"
"Oh, hey, I'm Tina. I'm Killian's girlfriend, and I live inside his hair."
"You've been here this whole time?!"
"Yeah, I don't really eat hot dogs because I'm a vegan," Tina calmly said, "but I like to hang out, you know."
Marcia had just so many questions at that moment, but she was too tired even to care.
"So, let me get this straight," Mr. Abhorrent's voice asked over Rasktora's compact as she lay in a ravine not far from where the fight with the Princes broke out. "Not only did you fail to capture the targets, but they managed to send you running away with your tail between your legs?" By the tone of his voice, it was clear that the former Headmaster of Sgt. Oleg's was not in a very understanding mood.
"I underestimated them, sir. Simple as that," Rastkora curtly responded as she looked her damaged and regenerating body over several times, scowling as she did so. "I can assure you, that it won't happen again."
"It better not, Rastkora," Mr. Abhorrent said in a very threatening tone. "I paid good money to hire you, and I expect to get results. I want Prince Turdius!"
"And the other two?"
"The colthead is no longer a concern, and the Dragonfly Prince is too much of a hassle to handle at the moment. For now, focus on getting me Prince Turdius, and then we will worry about Dragonfly."
"Understood. I will contact you once I have recovered enough to continue my mission," Rastkora said in a very professional manner before ending the call.
In truth, what the Dragonfly boy had done to her was even worse than she had expected. Despite her being a Septarian, her regenerating ability wasn't as strong as some of the more noteworthy members of her people. She had lost parts of her legs, her hair-like tendrils got singed, and she was missing her cybernetic arm, which she had to sacrifice to make it look like she had died in the attack. Still, she knew that it wouldn't fool her targets for long, if at all. It would take awhile for her to get back into fighting shape, and in the meantime, she had to replace the arm that she had lost. In short, the next few weeks were going to be hard for her, but she was prepared to deal with them.
"Mark my words, Prince Turdius," Rastkora said as she got out her Dimensional Chainsaw and proceeded to use her teeth to pull the cord. "You haven't seen the last of Rastkora Chaosius Disastervaine!"
Yet the chainsaw wouldn't start, forcing her to try it a second time. No such luck.
"Oh, come on! I knew I should've just stolen a pair of real scissors," she growled as she tried to get the chainsaw working several times, wondering why she never considered using it in the battle earlier.
*In Jay's workspace, we now see RJ "Jay" Writing Ink meditating in a cross-legged position in a chamber modeled after the ones found in the Jedi Temple. As he does so, a bunch of random, pop culture objects are being levitated in the air around him, like planets dancing around a star. Then, the door opens and Janna and DAU Kermit come in.*
DAU Kermit: Jay, it's been two days already. When are you going to come out of here?
Jay: When all the injustices I am protesting have ceased, Kermit.
Janna: Like what? You keep talking about these wrongs that you're protesting have ceased, but you're not letting us in on them. Spill, man.
Jay: Okay, fine. There are several, really. First, I wish for Putin to withdraw from the Ukraine and resign from his rule over Russia-
DAU Kermit: I know a lot of people in Russia won't be happy about McDonald's leaving.
Jay:-for Bob Chapek to stop neglecting the LGBTQ+ community and oppose the "Don't Say Gay" Bill in Florida-
Janna: Yeah, even Dana Terrace is reaching her breaking point with Disney.
Jay:-And for Disney to fix the Star Wars Sequel Era, stop dragging their heels, and let the Jedi come back like they're FREAKING SUPPOSED TO!
DAU Kermit: Oh, no, here we go. This is because of the new Kenobi trailer, isn't it?
Jay: Damn right, it is, Kermit! That trailer kicks ass, but it also reminds me of Disney's biggest failure with Star Wars: THEY WON'T LET THE JEDI REBUILD! Just let Rey bring it back like Luke does in the Old Expanded Universe, you jerks!
Janna: Look, are you going to give any commentary on this chapter or not? Because I want to know if those Goblin Dogs had LSD in them or something crazy.
Jay: Janna, I'm the author of this story, and even I don't know what's in those Goblin Dogs. That's why I said I wasn't even bothering to try to explain them. The sequence in the show was just too trippy!
Kermit: So, um, is Rastkora going to show up again?
Jay: Yep. I got an original chapter where she'll come back for a rematch down the line. And I've also got a few ideas for Killian, too-I mean to spread the wonder's of Shonen fighting to Woolandia. Oh, and Mrs. Green in this series is a Woolett. Why? I don't know; it just makes sense.
*Jay brings his meditation to a close as he lets all the objects settle in two neat piles on the floor, revealing them to be merchandise for The Owl House and Amphibia, respectively.*
Jay: Also, I'm throwing a watch party for the next parts of Amphibia and The Owl House next Friday, and you're all invited, just like last time. And there will be plenty of pizza and ice cream.
Kermit: Dude, I'm not putting up with Hooty again just because you try to bribe me with Pizza-
Jay: With stuffed crust.
Kermit: I'm in.
Janna: Whatever. As long as I can wear my Leprechaun costume, it's fine by me. St. Patty's Day is the day before, after all.
Jay: Fair enough. Now, then, it's time to respond to some more
READERS REVIEWS
NightAroma-Laura Bailey's voiced a lot of great characters over the years, both in western cartoons and anime. Also, I know Ben Schwartz more as Dewey Duck from the reboot of DuckTales! And after seeing The Proud Family revival, I wanna pay an artist to make a drawing of Mrs. Green and Suga Mama being friends.
LockAndKey989-Thank you!
Mlpbrony fan15-I am just hoping that Gen V of MLP lives up to its predecessor, man.
The Wandering Hippie-Yes, Hippie, I bribed people to get in front in a line...to get into the building. I'm not sorry. And, no, Roy doesn't know Rastkora. And I'm well aware of your opinions on shipping in the show, Hippie. I read your story (which I'm still waiting for you to continue). But I don't want to focus on shipping too much so it won't detract from the overall story.
Julayla-No. I am not shipping Meteora and Rasticore, either. :(
You know what to do: fave and follow this story, and follow me on Twitter (JZ-Gaming), Insta (RJ Writing Ink), and YouTube (Jungoguy)
Also, congrats to Hippie and NightAroma for figuring out I was talking about Big City Greens. That's a fun show I like, and I think you should check it out. Let's see if you can figure out the hidden reference in this chapter!
See you next week, you guys! We got another original story coming up, and I don't want you guys to miss it!
