*Meanwhile, aboard the Absolute Vindication, RJ "Jay" Writing Ink is sitting back in the captain's chair in his usual attire, looking over his Keyblade when he notices the readers are finally here.*
Jay: So, you guys probably thought that because it was April Fools Day, I would take the chance to pull some sort of prank on everyone, huh? You thought I would choose not to continue the story in favor of some other gag story? Well, guess what? APRIL FOOLS! Sometimes the best way to pull a prank is not to have any joke to begin with, MUAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!
*Janna and DAU Kermit come over and look at Jay as he's laughing like a maniac.*
Janna: Are you done yet? Because the sooner we get this sent out, the sooner we can get back to our plans to prank everyone we know.
DAU Kermit: Yeah, man, not gonna lie, Cell needs me for a new video, and we're still trying to get Ban a pair of nipples.
Janna: Wha-
Jay: Watch DevilArtemis' videos! It will make sense in context. Also, I have my Keyblade out because this Monday was the 20th anniversary of one of my all-time favorite video game series, Kingdom Hearts. Man, that shit was so epic as a kid. Now then, start the chapter.
"How did you do that?!" Tammy finally managed to blurt out after they eventually left the Cenobite camp.
"Do what, exactly?" Jonah coyly asked in response as he walked just a few feet in front of Tammy, not even giving her the courtesy of facing her as she spoke to him.
"Don't play stupid with me, Human! You know damn well what I'm talking about," Tammy said indignantly. "I couldn't get the Cenobites to budge an inch earlier, but the second you show up, you managed to talk them into taking us straight to Pinhead and proceeded to win him over with the promise of your stupid videos!"
"That would be a pretty accurate summary of what went down, yes," Jonah responded, still not looking back at her.
"Which brings me back to my question, Human," Tammy said as she proceeded to use her mastery over fire to hover directly in front of Jonah. "How did you do it?"
For a moment, Jonah was tempted to respond to the Princess' queries by repeating "Do what?" once more. However, such a response would likely lead their discussion into a pointless circle. As fun as it was messing with people, it got stale if done the same way too many times. So, he opted for a different approach.
"Well, let's answer your question with another question, your highness," Jonah responded. "Why do you think the Cenobites were doing what they did?"
Tammy tilted her head a little in confusion about this. "What does it matter? They're Cenobites. They're weird; pain is like an addiction, and they're always looking for the next high."
"Exactly. They're always looking to find something new and exciting to get off to," Jonah said, acting like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Though, to be fair, it pretty much was to Jonah. "The problem is, they ran out of anything interesting to whet their perverted whistles with. So, they resorted to reaching out and gaining new recruits who could partake in the carnal arts with them, thus reigniting their own passion for it."
Now Tammy was really confused, and despite trying to hide it from the smug Human, it must have been showing on her face. "Wait, are you saying that...the Cenobites were doing all of that because...they were bored?" Even saying that out loud sounded crazy. The Cenobites were fanatical believers in a hedonistic lifestyle, and they channeled that into their weird, perverted quest for pain and pleasure. The idea of them getting bored seemed absolutely ludicrous.
Yet, despite the sheer impossibility, Jonah confirmed that notion with a simple, nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "Pretty much."
Tammy found herself fumbling over her words as they tried to get out of her mouth, her confusion was so great. Eventually, though, she just settled on something simple and easy for her to say: "HOW?"
"Elementary, my dear Watson-"
"That's not my name, and you know it," Tammy interrupted, though Jonah did not notice or care.
"-If I were someone who is always looking for something new and interesting to break up the monotony of the great conveyor belt we call life, and I couldn't find anything, I would act out, too," Jonah responded. The smug look on his face was all that Tammy needed to figure out what he was thinking:
That's right, bitch! I figured something like that out while you were forced to throw fireballs around! NYEAH!
Tammy felt her frustration mount for the umpteenth time since she had met this irritating Human boy. Not helping the fact was that Jonah seemed to pick up on this and got this shit-eating grin on his face.
"Man, I knew that this would piss you off, but I had no idea it would be this bad!" Jonah let out barking laughter of amusement as he proceeded to slap Tammy's shoulder before continuing to walk past her. "Now, come on. Let's let the townsfolk know we worked things out with the Cenobites and go bust up that Hydra."
Struggling to keep herself calm in light of this latest provocation, Tammy drew upon the many techniques that Meg taught her to calm herself down. Taking a deep breath through her mouth, she then gently let it out through her nose, letting the feeling of calmness wash over her-
"Hey, Princess, shake a leg, will ya? My man can't be kept waiting forever, you know!"
Tammy breathed out her nose so hard that she actually exhaled some fire.
When Jonah and Tammy returned to Baal Village, Tammy was not in a very good mood. Not only had Jonah managed to upstage her by convincing the Cenobites to leave the villagers alone, but he also wouldn't stop acting so smug about it, at least, from Tammy's perspective. Then, to add insult to injury, when they got back to the village, the Demons learned that it had been Jonah who had saved them and not Tammy, everyone started cheering and praising the Human right in front of her. And the boy just ate up all the praise and adoration.
Tammy had decided that that was one of the things that she hated the most about this Human. At times, he seemed to love being the center of attention and would eat it up as much as possible. It was annoying and pig-headed, and...it reminded her a little too much of her beloved Comet. Comet loved basking in the spotlight and having people tell him how awesome he was. He only liked it when the adoration felt genuine and not brought on by his status as royalty, but that was beside the point. All she knew as she left Baal Village and headed towards the mountains to meet with Jonah's mysterious associate was that she could not wait to be done with this mission and never have to speak to him again.
When they finally arrived near the edge of the Alastor Mountains, any irritation she might have felt towards Jonah began to give way to something else entirely when she saw who was waiting for them.
Tammy had noticed the figure long before Jonah did; one of the perks of having three eyes was that she had far better vision than most mortals could dare to hope for. Still, when she had seen the figure waiting for them on the hills that began to slope upwards into the mountains, she thought, for a moment, that her eyesight needed checking because she swore it was playing tricks on her.
Standing on the single, solitary road that led Baal Village into the Alastor Mountains was a tall, black creature with pointed clogs, a jagged purple collar, and a matching purple cap with lightning bolts coming out of the back. His face, devoid of any distinguishing features, consisted of these big, red eyes and a harsh red mouth. Tammy had never seen this before in person, but she had heard the stories about them. They were supposed to be this up-and-coming Demon originating from the 8th Circle of the Underworld. If the rumors were to be believed, they were also considered a top contender for the currently vacant seat as one of the 9 Great Demon Lords that ruled over the Underworld.
"Of all the people that we had to run into..." Tammy cursed under her breath, her voice just audible enough for Jonah to catch what she was saying.
"Something wrong, Princess?" Jonah asked, curious why Tammy was getting even tenser than she already was.
"We may have trouble," Tammy replied, her tone laced with complete and utter seriousness. "See that guy up ahead?" she pointed at the figure in the distance. "I think that that's the Ice Demon, Black Frost."
"Oh?" Jonah cocked an eyebrow at this but did not respond otherwise. "And is that a problem?"
"Might be," Tammy admitted. "He's from the 8th Circle, the only one currently without a Lord to rule over it. Demons have been fighting to claim that spot for years now, and Black Frost is one of the most likely to take the seat."
"Is that so?" Jonah asked, genuinely curious about this.
"Look, Human, I know that you got your alchemy and all that other junk, but you're going to want to stand back. You're not ready for the likes of this upstart!" Tammy's eyes began to glow as she channeled her inner demonic fire, bringing it forth in her balled-up fists. As far as Tammy was concerned, there was only one logical reason why Black Frost would show up at this location: he wanted to build his reputation by challenging the Princess of the Underworld. Any Demon who could boast of being able to walk away from a fight with a Lucitor would become renowned throughout the Underworld. But Tammy wasn't going to even give him the honor of facing her in combat. No, she was just going to use her fire powers to summon forth the biggest fireball she could create, throw it at the ice Demon, and then-
"Stand down, sweetheart. I'll take it from here."
Tammy was brought out of her battle readiness when she felt the unwanted sensation of the Human's hand grasping her shoulder. That, and he had just called her "sweetheart," and she did not like it! Before she could even snap at the Human for his impudence, he was already ahead of him...and walking directly towards Black Frost.
Oh, joy. The maniac's trying to make friends with the living snowball, Tammy mentally complained. Maybe if I'm lucky, he'll be frozen solid, and I won't have to deal with him for the rest of this trip.
That hope lasted for all of five seconds, though. As soon as Jonah had gotten close enough for Black Frost to see him, he began to call out. And, much to Tammy's surprise, the ice Demon got this big, happy grin on his face and started running towards Jonah.
What it said next was probably the last thing that Tamara Lucitor ever thought she would hear come out of the Demon's mouth.
"BOSS!"
H-huh? Did Tammy just hear what Black Frost said correctly?
"Yo, Black Frost!" Jonah said as he casually waved at the approaching Demon, the calm and collected look on his face contrasting with the overjoyed look on Black Frost's face like the night with day. Yet Jonah did not mind the Demon's attention as he happily bounded up to the Human and gave him a big hug.
"Hee-HO! I missed you, Boss!" Black Frost proclaimed as he continued to hug Jonah, who had a very neutral expression on his face even though Frosty (yes, that was his nickname for him) felt as cold as actual snow up close. "I haven't seen you since that big fighting game we got to participate in, ho!"
"Yeah, good times," Jonah said with a smile as he thought back to the Mewnipendence Day Re-Enactment. What Comet had originally intended to be a very biased and unfair recounting of how his people had slaughtered a bunch of Monsters, Jonah had conspired to turn right back on the Prince. The end result had turned the simple re-enactment into an actual battle involving students, teachers, an army of Mr. Meseeks, and Black Frost all getting involved. Jonah had chosen to fight Comet one-on-one even though the latter had magic and years' worth of combat training from the best Mewni offered. Yet despite everything, Jonah stunned everyone present by holding his own against the Mewman. Had Ludo not crashed the party, young Ordonia may have won.
Regardless of how things were planned or how they turned out, everyone at Echo Creek agreed the whole event to be the most fun the school had had in a long time. Unfortunately, that was the last time Jonah had gotten to see Black Frost, and the Demon said that he had been busy with other things in the month that followed, which Jonah chose not to pry into. After that, things had gotten...hectic.
Motioning for Black Frost to put him down, the Demon dutifully followed his partner's instructions, letting the teen look at the towering yet cheerful Ice Demon.
"So, listen, Black Frost," Jonah began, his voice remaining as impassive as ever. "I'm sorry we haven't gotten much of a chance to talk since Mewnipendence Day. Let's just say that things happened that were beyond my ability to control. No hard feelings?" Jonah politely held out his hand towards the Demon.
"No-ho!" Black Frost said as he stuck out his own hand, which was big enough to envelop Jonah's four times over, and shook it gingerly. "I was busy with my own things, too!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!" Black Frost nodded. "I've been doing some training in the Circle where I live. It's not like what is up here, quiet and stuff. You have to be strong to make it, so everyone down there is super tough-ho! And I'm one of the toughest Demons down there!"
"That so? You strong enough yet to take the top spot?"
"No-ho, not yet. But there aren't that many Demons down there as strong as me-ho! And once I beat them all, everyone will have to do what I say!"
Jonah smirked at this. "Didn't know I was working with a potential Great Demon Lord, Frosty, though I'd expect nothing less from one of my loyal partners."
"Yee-ho! Thank you, Boss! When I am the new Lord, I'll invite you and your friends to celebrate with me! It will be so much fun-ho!"
"Sounds great. I'm looking forward to taking you up on your offer-"
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"
The conversation between the Human and the Demon got cut short by the bewildered shout coming from Tammy. For a moment, she just stood there, panting from having to shout at the top of her lungs.
"Oh, I almost forgot you were still here," Jonah admitted, not caring that simply mentioning that to someone of royal blood could get him killed.
"Save it, Human!" Tammy angrily said as she marched towards the pair. "Do you even know who you're talking to right now?"
"Well, I am talking to you, so is this like a trick question or-"
"Him, dumbass!" Tammy said as she pointed to Black Frost. "I'm talking about him! Do you know who he is?"
"Yeah. This is Black Frost, the strongest Ice Demon in the Underworld. Do you know not know who he is?" Jonah's eyes widened as he got this mock surprise on his face. "Wow, you don't even know your own subjects' names."
"Don't patronize me, Human! I know who he is!" Tammy snapped back. "He's not just the strongest of his kind, and he's one of the top contenders for the title of Great Demon Lord for the 8th Circle of the Underworld!"
"And now you're just echoing everything he said," Jonah continued to taunt, though Tammy refused to rise to the bait.
"This guy is possibly one of the strongest Demons in the Underworld, someone a mere Human couldn't possibly know! So how the fuck can you possibly know him?!"
"Because he's the Demon I currently have under contract," Jonah said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"HOW!?" Tammy yelled in utter disbelief.
"Well, first I summoned him-"
"And then we played a game of freeze tag-"
"-I won said game, and now he works for me. Simple as that."
"Gr-Ga-Hyo-GAAAHH!" Tammy was so irritated that she was having difficulty forming coherent sentences. Finally, she just gave up on saying anything and marched right past the two.
"I think we broke her, buddy," Jonah whispered to Black Frost, who nodded in agreement.
"SHUT UP. FOLLOW ME. NOW!" Tammy growled at the two, who decided to quit messing with her and follow her into the Mountains towards the layer of the Hydra.
Despite initial concerns that traveling through the Mountains would be a problem, Jonah quickly realized that this would not be the case, given who their party included. Tammy's fire-based abilities let her fly through the air and over any ravines and gaps in the mountain paths. Black Frost could use his ice powers to construct bridges with which they could walk across or over anything. And, if he felt like it, Jonah could use the tools he brought for alchemy to clear a path for them. Before long, the trio was closing in on the lair of the Hydra that they had been sent to deal with.
There was just one problem: Tammy was in more foul a mood than ever!
From her perspective, Tammy had the right to be angry, though. In the last 24 hours, she'd been forced to go on some dumb mission that she didn't even want. In her bath towel, she got summoned to Earth by one of Comet's annoying Human friends, no less. And then said Human proceeded to blackmail her into taking him along with her and spent the entire time annoying the shit out of her and making her look bad in front of her subjects! And to top it all off, it turns out that the jerk had one of the strongest Demons in the Underworld in his back pocket, and he didn't even think to mention that! If word got out about any of this, it would cause a massive scandal throughout the Underworld, the stain of which would take years for her family to shake off!
"Hey, Princess?"
For a moment, Tammy didn't even realize that someone was talking to her, she was so engrossed in her thoughts. It wasn't until she heard the same voice for a second time that she realized who it was coming from: the annoying Human that had caused her so much trouble.
Tammy looked over her shoulder at the Human, each of her three eyes glaring at him in the desperate hope that doing so would make him disappear forever. No such luck, though, as he was still standing there.
"What do you want this time?" Tammy scowled.
"Well, I couldn't help but notice that we were getting close to where this Hydra's supposed to be living. So Black Frost and I were wondering what the plan is."
"Plan?" Tammy asked, thinking out loud.
"Yeah, you know. How are we going to put down this freak? You want me to distract it with my alchemy while you go for its heads? Or maybe Black Frost can freeze it solid, and then you and I can work together to shatter it into a thousand tiny pieces."
"How about this for a plan, Human. You and your little crony can stand back and watch while I take care of this. On my own."
Jonah's smirk fell a little when he heard this. "I'm sorry. How is that a plan?"
"That's not your concern, Human. You should be lucky that I even agreed to bring you along on this mission," Tammy glowered.
"Really? Because I thought we made a mutually beneficial arrangement-" Jonah started to say, only for Tammy to dash around and glare at him.
"You call what you did a fair deal!?" Tammy snapped. "You summoned me against my will while I was wearing nothing but a bath towel-"
"-which was hilarious-"
"-tried to force me to make a contract with you in the process, and then emotionally blackmailed me with the idea of getting Comet to let me back into his life and have done nothing but be a huge pain the whole time!"
Despite the potentially dangerous situation that he found himself if, Jonah remained as calm as ever. "I think you're forgetting about the fact that I was able to talk those perverts out of their press-ganging recruitment of other Demons-"
"I know you did that, and I don't care!" Tammy furiously admitted. "I don't even know how Comet can be friends with someone as annoying as you! And I sure as here don't know how you managed to talk that giant oaf into working for you!" she shouted while pointing towards Black Frost. That last comment did not go unheard by the Ice Demon, though.
"What did you just call me-ho?!" Black Frost said as he bounded up to the two of them.
"You heard me, you overgrown snowman," Tammy said, her eyes narrowed. "You claim that you're one of the top contenders to obtain the title of one of the Nine Demon Lords, and yet you've let yourself be hoodwinked into working for a lowly Human!"
"What's wrong with that?" Jonah asked, not seeing the problem.
"You wouldn't get it, Human," Tammy said as she turned her attention back to Jonah. "This is something beyond your understanding."
"Then enlighten me, your highness. What's the problem?"
Tammy had to visibly suppress the urge to sigh at Jonah's question. But if telling him would make the Human see why this could end up causing trouble for a lot of people, then so be it.
"All right, look, Human. Here's a basic overview of the Underworld, so listen up," Tammy said, her tone indicating that she wouldn't tolerate Jonah if he were to tune her out.
"Unlike the surface world, the Underworld doesn't just consist of the land you see around you. It extends far, far deeper than you can imagine." When Jonah made no attempt to interrupt, Tammy continued. "Our land is actually made up of massive caverns stacked atop one another, each descending further and further below the surface. These are known as the Nine Circles of the Underworld. Each of them is ruled by a different House of Demons whose lineage extends back thousands of years, and each of them is led by a Lord. They are the Nine Great Demon Lords. My family, House Lucitor, is one of them and serves as the rulers of the Underworld as a whole. Those Cenobites served the Lord of House Beezlebub, one of the Houses that rule one of the lower Circles."
Jonah nodded in understanding regarding all of this but didn't say anything otherwise.
"This is how things worked for thousands of years until the last member of House Astaroth, the rulers of the Eighth Circle, died without any heirs. Since then, Demons have fought to claim that House's vacant seat. And this guy," she pointed once more to Black Frost, "could take that seat."
"And this concerns me how, exactly?" Jonah asked, though he already had a feeling what the problem was.
"Do you know how bad it will be if word gets out that a candidate to be a Great Demon Lord works for a Human? It will cause a massive scandal! The whole Underworld will be up in arms about it!" Tammy then turned towards Black Frost and looked him dead in the eyes. "For your sake, you'd best cut ties with the likes of him. No good can hope to come from working with a Human."
"No," was all Black Frost said in response to this. "Human or not, the Boss is smart, and I'm sticking with him-ho."
"My man," Jonah said, complimenting his partner in crime. "Just for that, I might help you earn that chair if you're ever up for it," he told the Ice Demon, and he meant it, too. Not just so that he could spite Tammy but for the bragging rights such an act would entail. Saying that he helped crown a new Lord of the Underworld would go a long way in building the legend of the Raven Alchemist.
On the other hand, Tammy was not amused, but she also knew that there was no point in trying to reason with such an insane Human. All she could do was finish her job and be rid of him as soon as possible. Any thoughts about learning how to get back on Comet's good side were all but forgotten in the face of her irritation towards Jonah. With a simple *huff*, she turned away from the two scheming idiots and began to walk through the Mountains once more.
It did not take them much longer to make it to the Hydra's lair. Just as the Queen and King told Tammy, it was located in a cave in the Alastor Mountains, south of Baal Village. There was an old, worn path close to the shelter often used by travelers who sought to make it through the Mountains to the Lake of Fire or to one of the passages that would take them to the lower levels of the Underworld. However, since the Hydra had moved in, traffic through the area began to grind to a halt. Few Demons were brave enough to want to risk provoking a mythical beast such as a Hydra, and the ones who did were said to have met with a very grisly fate. With nearby villages reporting sightings of the beast on the very edge of the Mountains, it was believed to be only a matter of time before the locals would be facing full-on attacks.
The Lucitors decided to intervene personally and deal with the threat. As the rulers of the Underworld, they were the strongest and most powerful of all Demons. It was even rumored that the strongest of the Lucitors could hold their own against the legendary magic of the Dragonfly family and win. This was precisely why her parents had asked Tammy to slay the Hydra.
It was just her luck, though, that she had to deal with two unwelcome tag-alongs in the form of Jonah and Black Frost.
"So, I take it we're here?" Jonah whispered as he crouched down behind a rock alongside Tammy, only to be promptly shushed by the Demon Girl.
"Not a word, Human," Tammy hissed, refusing to use Jonah's name. "I need to make sure that this is the right place." Slowly, Tammy brought her head up from behind her hiding spot, just above the cave where this beast was said to be. At first, she didn't see anything and wondered if this was just some tall tale or rumor that managed to reach her family's ears. Then, out of the corner of her eye, barely visible within the shadow from an overhang above the cave, Tammy caught a glimmer of movement. Then, another, and another. Using her Demon physiology and inherent magic to enhance her eyesight, she looked at the slumbering figure just inside the cave's entrance.
It was massive, at least five times her size, maybe even more. Its long, deep purple-scaled body looked to be a fusion between that of a giant snake and a dragon, ending in a long, thin, pointed tail that moved around like a whip. At the front of its bulky frame were two four-fingered claws that it used to move around. The most distinguishing features were the long necks that jutted out of the body, ending in three heads that looked like a cross between a snake and a demonic, horned monkey. This was what she had been sent to get rid of.
"That's it, alright. A Hydra," Tammy muttered to herself as she confirmed that this was what her family had sent her to kill. Still, the Demon Princess thought, Mom and Dad could've told me that this thing was just an adolescent and not a full-grown adult. If they had, then maybe I wouldn't have had to agree to bring the Human with me.
As if responding to her own thoughts, Jonah peered over their hiding place and began to look at the beast with a pair of binoculars that he had stashed in his backpack. "So that's it, huh? I thought that it would be bigger."
"They are. At least, the adults are," Tammy clarified, though she wasn't sure why she did so. "The adults can grow to at least ten times the size of a normal person. The fact that it's this small means that it's probably young, most likely in its adolescent stage or just reaching adulthood."
"So we're dealing with a teen snake monster then?" Jonah summarized. "I can work with that." Before Tammy could say anything, Jonah began to slide down the rocks towards the waiting Black Frost below. The Ice Demon was so big that he couldn't feasibly join the two teens as they did recon, and Jonah had to have him wait down below. Still, this didn't bother Black Frost much, as his face lit up when Jonah returned to his side.
"Boss! You're back-ho! So did you see the giant snake?"
"Sure did," Jonah said with one of his trademark smirks. "And it looks like it might not be as bad as we thought. This thing's still in its awkward teen years and nowhere near as big as it will be once it grows up." Jonah then narrowed his eyes as he got this evil look. "Too bad it's never going to get the chance to do so."
"So, are we still sticking to the plan, Boss?"
"Plan? What plan?" That last remark came from Tammy, who had decided to join the two either out of curiosity or sheer boredom.
"Oh yeah. While you were busy being a grouch, Frosty and I came up with a couple of strategies to care for our little snake problem." To prove his point, Jonah then reached inside his backpack and began to pull out various sheets of paper with hastily made drawings on them.
"So, I don't know how much of this holds up in real life, but in my world, the stories we have about Hydra's have the same basic premise," Jonah began to explain. "Their breath is said to be super poisonous, and they can regrow any heads that get cut off."
"Bravo," Tammy sarcastically said as she performed a slow clap. "Do you have anything useful in there?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," Jonah said, not missing a beat. "We've got a few options to take it down. In the old myth that we read about in school, the hero defeated the Hydra by cutting off each head and then cauterizing the stump before it could regrow." Jonah then pointed towards a picture of Tammy using her fire to do just that. "While Black Frost and I keep it busy, you can swoop in, use your firebending to chop off each head, and then make sure they can't regrow. Though that might take too long and means we'll have to be constantly dodging."
"Option two," Jonah said without letting Tammy get a word in edgewise, "is a bit more of my design. If I'm correct, the Hydra's regeneration should only work on external body parts, like the head, tail, or claws. But what about its internal organs? If we could find a way to pierce its chest and hit its vitals, then it shouldn't be able to heal fast enough to compensate. It'll die before it has any chance to recover. Option three-"
"This is my favorite, ho!" Black Frost interjected, soliciting a small smile from Jonah in the process.
"Indeed," Jonah said as he displayed the last drawing showing a beefed-up version of Black Frost zapping the Hydra with his ice powers. "Option three is having Black Frost hit the thing with his ice powers, freeze it solid, and then just keep freezing it until it's completely ice. After that, we just get a giant rock and use it to smash the Hydra!"
Having finished explaining this to Tammy, Jonah then looked up at the Princess. "So, which do you want to go with?"
At this, Tammy looked at the two idiots in a very condescending manner, one that neither of them had seen throughout the entire trip. "What do I want to go with? Do you seriously think that I'm going to go with any of these dumb plans?"
"Well, yeah, if you want to get rid of this thing-"
"No, no, no, no," Tammy said, her voice now filled with more confidence than it had less than an hour earlier. "Here's my plan: I'm going to go down there and take care of this thing myself. You two," she pointed her fingers at either of them, "will stand up here and watch. And then when I'm done, I'm taking the Human back to his world and leaving him there, and I'm going to send the talking snowman back to where he belongs."
"Snowman-ho?" Such an insult would be considered very offensive to an Ice Demon like Black Frost, but in this case, it just left him feeling confused.
"Hey, Princess, did you finally lose it sometime in the last half-hour?" Jonah snarked. "Because last time I checked, you and I made a deal. I help you out with this, you give me citizenship here, and I tell you how to make Comet nice to you again."
"Yes. We did have a deal like that, didn't we?" Tammy told him. "Well, guess what? Deal's off. Now that I know that this beast is just a pipsqueak, I'll be able to take care of it independently. Which means I don't need your help at all. And that also means that after I send you back home, I don't want to see you or your stupid face ever again. I'll find my own way to make Comet fall in love with me without your help! So long, shitstain. I'm going to take care of things without your help." And just like that, Tammy proceeded to run back up the cliff towards the cave, only stopping to turn around and flip Jonah off as she did so.
"Damn, that girl's got issues."
"What do we do now, Boss-ho?" Black Frost asked, bewildered by what just happened.
"The only thing we can do, Frosty," Jonah said as he reached into his backpack and pulled out a gas mask before strapping it onto his face. "We're going to go kick some ass."
*Record Scratches*
DAU Kermit: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on now. Black Frost is up for the title of Great Demon Lord?
Jay: Yep.
DAU Kermit: As in one of the nine Demons that rule over the Underworld?
Jay: Uh-huh.
DAU Kermit: WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU MENTION THIS FROM THE START?!
Jay: *Shrugs shoulders* No one asked. Also, I didn't plan on that initially. But as I started thinking more about the world-building for Mewni, I thought that this would be a fun idea. So I just rolled with it.
Janna: What happened to having everything planned out in meticulous detail?
Jay: No plan survives first contact with the enemy, Janna. You gotta learn to improvise, keep on your toes. Do you get me?
DAU Kermit: So will we get that epic Hydra stomping next week?
Jay: Yep. It would've been this chapter, but I'm trying to improve my pacing. Doesn't count as a cliffhanger, though.
Janna: Whatever. Hey, you know we have to get back to your Workspace soon so we can see the new Sonic movie, right?
Jay: That, and I just realized I left my PS5 there, and I need it to play LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga. Let's set a course back to my Workspace! In the meantime, I'll respond to some
READER'S REVIEWS
NightAroma-DevilArtemis isn't a reviewer, NightAroma. He's this self-taught animator who makes parody videos of Cell from the Dragon Ball franchise as he interacts with many weirdos. The version of Kermit that shows up here is from there. Also, don't be surprised if Jonah starts getting ideas about his future plans. If Black Frost becomes a Great Demon Lord, then he'll get a lot of power by proxy. Also, APRIL FOOLS!
Julayla-You know, I had an idea of doing gender-bent stories for Amphibia and The Owl House, but by the time I get to them, the shows will be long over. Oh well.
LockAndKey989-I don't think the Hellraiser franchise exists in this Universe. So let's just chalk this all up to Jonah being, well, Jonah.
The Wandering Hippie-Jonah's behavior is not entirely an act, Hippie. He really is that fearless, and he knows that to survive some of the shit that comes with being friends with a Prince of Mewni, you got to know what you're doing. We should all be worried when he's genuinely freaked out when we're genuinely freaked out.
Also, I've never played Dungeons and Dragons before. My knowledge of it extends to only the Legend of Vox Machina storyline, and that's just one example of the stories that can be told. I based most of it on a softer version of "Dante's Inferno." If I ever get around to making that guide to my Mewni, I'll explain more.
And trust me, an understanding between the two is coming, and it's coming soon.
Also also, do yourself a favor and get back to writing your own story. We want to know how it ends.
You know what to do: fave and follow this story, and follow me on Twitter (JZ-Gaming), Insta (RJ Writing Ink), and YouTube (Jungoguy)
Come back next week to see how Jonah saves Tammy's sorry butt.
