*In the Captain's Chair on the Absolute Vindication, instead of RJ "Jay" Writing Ink Piloting, we see Kermit sitting in the chair with his banjo. Jay is sitting off to the side with his eyes glued on another screen, PS5 controller in hand.*
DAU Kermit: So, I know that you guys are probably wondering why Jay isn't doing the introduction this time, and just sitting in the corner. Well, it's because he just got the new LEGO game, LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga, and he's devoting all his time and energy to beating it.
Jay: I NEED TO FIND ALL THE KYBER BRICKS!
Kermit: So, yeah. I'm in charge, and we're taking the ship back to Jay's Workspace so we can watch the new movie, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 properly.
Jay: Wait, that's out already? But I thought it was out on Friday?
DAU Kermit: And that's a red flag, people! If you'll excuse me, I'm going to have to drag Jay away from his PS5 and make sure he can watch the movie.
Jay: NO, NO! My PRECIOUS!
DAU Kermit: Look, just start the chapter. And trust me, this is going to be good.
Who needs that jerk's help? I don't need him or the talking snowball he conned into working for him! I can take this thing down all on my own!
Tammy's head was aglow with such searing thoughts as she clambered across the rocks towards the cave where the Hydra lay slumbering. The near-mythical beast lay at the mouth of its lair, its multiple heads dozing in the light of the artificial sun above. If Tammy had her way, then it would never wake up again.
Taking on the likes of a Hydra alone would be considered by many suicidal. Yet Tammy had every reason to believe that she could do it. For one, it was not fully grown, merely an adolescent. Secondly, Tammy was no ordinary Demon. She was a Lucitor, one of the nine (currently eight) Great Demon Houses, rulers of the Underworld, second in power only to House Dragonfly. She didn't even know why she had bothered to put up with that insolent Human in the first place! She didn't even know why she had bothered moping around in her room all of those weeks! She was strong, powerful, and could do whatever she wanted!
Looking back on the last few weeks of her life at this time, Tammy felt embarrassed about how she acted. Why had she let what that Human girl said to get to her so badly? Yeah, her plan to win back Comet by using a fake guidance counselor might not have been her best idea, but that didn't matter. She loved Comet, and after she was done here, she would make him see that she was the only one meant for him! Forget about what that obnoxious Human had promised her.
Tammy grimaced as she made her way closer to the cave's roof as she thought of the boy. Thanks to him, the last twenty-four hours of her life had been one headache after another. First, she had been dragged out of her bathroom in the most compromising of attire, the kind that she had wanted no one but Comet to see her in. Then, the upstart arrogantly wormed his way into a mission that she didn't even want to do. After that, he had continued to annoy and push her buttons while on the road. Worst of all, though, he went over her head by speaking with the Cenobites and conned them with dumb videos! Seeing a Human do what the Princess of the Underworld couldn't do was inwardly humiliating for Tammy to endure. She had no idea how he did that, but she would show him his place. Once he saw that she had dealt with the Hydra without his help or so-called "knowledge," he would realize just how far beneath her he really was.
Yet, somewhere in her mind, a voice kept saying otherwise. It was very quiet, almost indiscernible over the roar of anger and emotions going through her head. Yet it persisted and repeatedly asked the same questions: What if this Human really can help you? What if you're making a mistake turning your back on him?
No, no, Tammy couldn't keep thinking like that. She could do this without his help. It was a mistake to trust this Human, and it was a mistake to spend all that time moping in her room when she should've been focused on getting her man back.
Can I, though? Once more, uncomfortable thoughts began to flash through her head, with the last conversation with Marcia coming to her clear as day. And even though she wanted to think that she didn't need to heed what she had to say, some small, stubborn part of her couldn't help but come back to what the girl had had to say.
"Comet's not just some prize to be won or something you can own. He's a person with his own thoughts and feelings. And once he's made up his mind about something, it's almost impossible to stop him. So, you can't make Comet be your boyfriend again unless he wants to."
Screw her, Tammy thought as she made her way to the top and peered over the outcropping edge above the cave. Tammy didn't need to listen to that girl. She was a beautiful princess that guys would fawn over to date, and she could win Comet back, no problem! Down below, The serpent continued to slumber, blissfully ignorant that soon, it would never open any of its eyes again.
That Human had no idea what it was talking about, Tammy smugly thought to herself as she began to back up from the edge, getting into position to make a running jump. It would not take long for her to finish with her Demonic Hellfire in its current state.
Demons were among the few races throughout the Universe capable of using magic. Unlike Mewmans, whose magic-wielders seemed limited to the Dragonflies and their ilk, though, it worked a little differently for Demons. Their form of magic did not draw from the supposed wellspring that the Dragonflies used. Rather, Demons were born with an innate capacity for magic. Over the centuries, the different breeds of Demons learned how to tap into their internal magic to create their own unique abilities. That was why an Ice Demon like Black Frost could manipulate ice. The Lucitor's were said to have the strongest Demon magic of all the Demons. Legend has it that they were sired by the lava that spewed forth from the many volcanoes of the Underworld, which was why they could utilize such powerful fire-based magic. Or, as they called it, Demonic Hellfire.
It was this power that Tammy now began to channel into her fists as she willed it into the form of a coarse blade jutting out of her wrist. Simultaneously, she began to channel that same energy into the soles of her feet to give her a boost when she started to run. After a few seconds of focusing, she bolted over to the edge of the overhang and dived down below to the sleeping monster.
"YAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Tammy uttered a demonic war cry as she fell towards her quarry, the sound of which prompted the Hydra to slowly but surely open the eyes on one of its three heads. As the other two groggily tried to come, the center head began to look around, seeking out the noise source. Too late, it realized that it was coming from up above. Tammy brought her fire blade down on the beast's neck with a deafening slash with a swing of her right arm. In just a few seconds, the hellfire would cut right through the long, scaly neck, decapitating the first head and cauterizing the stump so that it could not grow back...
...yet, nothing happened. Tammy pushed and pushed her outstretched arm against the unprotected neck of the Hydra, trying to cut through what should have been nothing but muscle and flesh. Yet, the neck would not seem to give for all of her grunting and pushing.
"Come on, damn it. Just cut through already!" Tammy cried out in annoyance as she tried to finish cutting off the head. Yet her efforts were all for naught. Whether it was because she was too weak or, by some cruel twist of the Universe, the Hydra's scales were too tough, she could not slice through. The most that Tammy could do was draw a few drops of blood from the confused creature, the sight of which made her instinctively recoil. That, however, proved to be a nearly fatal mistake.
With each of its heads now fully awake, its eyes locked on the intruder, the Hydra had mentally debated on what it should do inside the shared mind it possessed. After seeing how the Demon Princess could not do anything other than be annoying, though, the monster decided to do what felt most natural: kill.
Play Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMIX -Apprehension- Extended /yjtlazyum6o
It happened so fast that Tammy had almost no time to react. All that she saw was a blur of movement coming out of the corner of her eye. Moving as fast as lightning, one of the heads lunged upwards at Tammy, attempting to swallow her in one fell swoop. It was only thanks to the fact that she was airborne that she was able to dodge it so well. Before she could do anything about it, another head came lunging at her, even faster than before. Again, Tammy was barely able to dodge it in time. Just when she thought she was safe, the third head loomed right in front of her. It was then that Tammy realized that she had made an even more fatal error in judgment.
In her haste to slay the beast and be done with it, she had forgotten an important fact about Hydras. More than their ability to regenerate, what made Hydra's so feared was that their bodies were inherently poisonous to all other living creatures. Even their breath was deadly if it were to touch something. Being a member of House Lucitor, who could command the power of fire itself, came with the added bonus of their bodies being able to purge toxins at a superhuman rate. In other words, they couldn't get drunk, and they were largely immune to poison. Yet, as Tammy looked into this monstrous snake's menacing, yellow eyes, she realized that even this lesser-known ability of her family could have its limits.
Shit, shit, shit, this is bad! Before Tammy realized what was happening, she was surrounded by the heads, each looking at her with the hungry eyes of a predator wanting to toy with its next meal. Then, the central authority lunged forth, poisonous breath fuming from its nostrils as it made for Tammy. It was only thanks to her survival instincts that her body could move fast enough to dodge the creature, though she did not go unscathed. She was a little too slow in avoiding the head, and a cloud of poison breath managed to graze her ankle just as she brought it up over the spot where she'd just been floating a few seconds before.
All at once, a jolt of pain began to shoot through Tammy's body. It was like the inside of her ankle was on fire, glowing white-hot in agony. If this happened to any other being, the pain would be like having a limb dipped into molten lava. Even though she was a Lucitor and thus immune to hurt from lava, that analogy had never felt more accurate to Tammy in all her life. Slowly, her body began to burn off the poison, but it was enough to distract her. And in the heat of battle, distractions could get you killed.
Even though Tammy had largely avoided the heads of the Hydra, she was caught between them and the roof of the overhang above. The poison made it hard for her to concentrate on keeping her flames going, and she likely only had a few seconds before her fire gave way and sent her plummeting to the ground.
Shit, shit, shit! I need to, gah, find a way out of this! The Hydra began to circle from below, each head snapping and hissing as they waited for her to give out. Amidst the pain of the poison and her own frustration, Tammy was fortunate to realize that the beast was no longer paying attention to its surroundings. Thinking quickly, Tammy threw two small blasts of flame from each other of her fists, attempting to blind the heads for a few seconds. The fireballs found their mark with an explosion of heat, making the Hydra yelp and roar in pain.
Realizing that this might be her only chance to get out of this, Tammy quickly made for the entrance to the cave. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to pay attention to her surroundings. The central head had remained active and alert the entire time, and while it could reach far enough to get at the girl, it had other means of attacking. Chief among them was the long, spindly tail that Tammy had failed to realize was now lying outside the cave.
Tammy barely even had a chance to look at it before it happened. All at once, a purple, whip-like appendage came crashing into her body with an audible *thwack*
Tammy cried out in pain as she swore she felt something in her face break from the force of the blow. The nerves in her face erupted in a firestorm of agony as she felt her vision begin to dim from whatever hit her. As Tammy struggled to regain her bearings, she felt the whoosh of air around her as one of the Hydra's heads began to lunge at her once more. Acting on pure instinct, Tammy began to channel her powers into yet another blade, this one twice as large as her first one and began to swing wildly in front of her. For a moment, she remained clueless as to whether her attack had done any damage, as her eyes stubbornly refused to open. It wasn't until she heard the howl of a wounded animal, combined with the sound of something large falling to the ground below, that she knew that she'd lopped off one of the beast's massive heads.
Okay, Tammy. You got this. That's one head down. All you need to do is take out of the other two, and you'll be home free-gurrggh!
Tammy never got a chance to finish that thought. Out of nowhere, something large rammed into her with the force of a freight train, knocking the wind right out of her chest and sending her plummeting to the ground with a painful thud.
For a moment, Tammy just laid there on the ground, her body unwilling to move after the latest in a series of painful injuries incurred in the last two minutes or so. Tough luck! You're a Lucitor! You don't have the luxury to sit on your butt right now! Tammy forced herself to her knees with some effort and grunting as her eyes finally seemed to be working for her again. Almost immediately, she wished that they weren't.
*ROOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR*
Rather than facing off against a two-headed snake beast, Tammy was stunned to find that the Hydra was now boasting more than four heads. All of them were growling and hissing at Tammy, who was left utterly dumbfounded about what was happening.
This doesn't make any sense! That jerk said that I just had to use fire to stop it from growing back its heads! Why didn't it work?! Tammy was at an utter loss as to what she was going to do. She was wounded, poisoned, and facing an opponent several times her size. What was she going to do?
End Music
This is bad! I can't take this thing on my own! Why didn't I think of bringing some servants or members of our royal guard along to help me?! Tammy could do nothing but stand there and curse her lack of foresight as the Hydra strode closer and closer to her. It was clearly not going to let her go any time soon!
Realizing that she might not have a choice but to fight this monstrosity to the end, Tammy gritted her teeth and tried to muster up as much power as she could into her hands, trying to look as menacing as possible. Though that did little good helping her situation, as the beast continued to advance further, its four heads beginning to rear back as it prepared to unleash a four-on-one attack that Tammy was likely not going to get out of unscathed.
"Bring it on! There are far scarier things than you out there!" Tammy shouted defiantly as the creature began to lunge forward.
"Oh no, you don't!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a massive ice barrier rose from the ground in front of Tammy, directly in the path of the Hydra. Too late, the beast's heads tried to stop, but their momentum was working against them. They hit the massive ice sheet with a very loud *crack* before beginning to stumble backward, each of the heads beginning to see stars.
"Stay away from the cranky girl, ho!" A familiar, almost childlike voice cried out from above. As Tammy looked up, she was stunned to see Black Frost jumping down from who-knows-where to her location, hitting the ground with enough force to leave a noticeable crater underneath his feet.
"What in the-"
"Yeey-ho! Fear not, Princess! I, Black Frost, Future Lord of the Eighth Circle of the Underworld, am here to save you!" Black Frost proclaimed while taking a notably heroic pose in the process. In his eyes, it was supposed to make him look super cool. But to everyone else, he just looked really dorky. In fact, Tammy had half a mind to say it to the Ice Demon. Before she could, though, he proceeded to pick Tammy up into his arms, and, before she even had time to protest, he moved to use his ice magic to send them hurtling back into the air once more. The Demon girl didn't even have a chance to scream until she was back on solid ground.
"All right, Black Frost! Great work getting her here," came the familiar, annoying, and slightly muffled voice of Jonah, who Tammy was only now realizing was standing right in front of them.
"You again!? Haven't you already humiliated me enough today, Human?" Tammy asked incredulously, eliciting an eye roll from Jonah in the process. At least, she thought he was rolling his eyes. She couldn't tell because he was wearing that stupid gas mask on his face.
"Um, how about a 'thank you,' your highness? Or is that too much trouble to say?"
Tammy began to blush. She knew that she should thank Jonah and Black Frost for saving her just now, but saying that to this uncouth Human teenager made her skin crawl. So, she responded in the only way she knew how: being abrasive.
"S-save it, Human! I didn't ask for you to save me, you know!"
"Could've fooled me," Jonah shrugged.
"And another thing! If you hadn't spent the whole day pushing my buttons like you have been, then maybe I wouldn't have run headlong into that fight and almost gotten myself killed!" Tammy knew she was reaching at straws, but her pride wouldn't let her say otherwise. "So, technically, it's your fault that all of this happened."
And then, the most unexpected thing happened: Jonah began to laugh underneath his mask.
"Um, what's so funny?" Tammy had no clue why this strange Human was acting like this.
"You are, obviously," Jonah said, not even turning around to look at her. Tammy's anger began to flare up once more.
"You're laughing at me?! Do you have any idea who you're addressing?!" Tammy growled as she got out of Black Frost's arms. In response, Jonah turned around, took off his gas mask, and looked her dead in the eyes.
"Oh, I know who you are, Tamara," Jonah said. Something about the tone in his voice was actually enough to take Tammy aback. "You may be a Princess by birth, but you certainly don't play the part besides lording your power over others."
"How dare-"
"Save it, your highness. I may not know you that well, but from what I've heard about you from Comet and Marcia, I know enough to figure you out. You're hot-tempered, quick to anger, abrasive to everyone around you, and, for the most part, you act like a total bitch." Jonah didn't even give Tammy a chance to respond as he just kept hammering on about her flaws. "You want to know why Comet left you? Why you can't seem to get him back, no matter how hard you try? Because you never think things through, ever. Whenever someone or something pisses you off, your default response is to retaliate, not thinking about the consequences of your actions and how they'll affect the people around you. Yeah, Comet does that, too, but whenever he screws up, he always does everything in his power to make things right. And what do you do? You either throw a hissy fit over it, sulk in your room for weeks, or blame other people for the problems that you cause! Have you considered that maybe this is why Comet dumped you in the first place? Because he couldn't stand the fact that no matter what happens, you can't seem to get it through your thick skull to plan things ahead? Because maybe if you did, you wouldn't be out here doing the exact same thing, but with a giant snake monster!"
And with that, Jonah Ordonia hit Tammy Lucitor with the cold, hard facts. He had let her know that, in no uncertain terms, she let her emotions dictate her actions and thus cause her own misery. Or, in this case, lead her to almost getting killed by a Hydra.
Tammy was stunned for a moment. She honestly had no idea how to respond to any of this. Her initial, knee-jerk reaction was to try and incinerate the Human for speaking to her in such a manner. Fortunately, the presence of Black Frost, and the still looming threat of the Hydra, were enough to give her pause. And from that, Tammy began to think. She began to think back on her actions as of late. How she had just charged headlong into danger. Not to mention the Ms. Candle thing. Plus, the anger-driven decision to kidnap Marcia and try to flay her alive as a warning to anyone who'd try to steal her man. And most of all, she remembered the look of disappointment on Comet's face the day he dumped her. It was the same look that Jonah was giving her now.
Oh...ohhhh..."Oh, shit." And just like that, the facts hit Tammy like a tidal wave as she sunk to the ground. "I-I really haven't learned anything, have I? I'm still the self-centered psycho-bitch I was when Comet left me, aren't I?" Tammy almost began to sniffle as that painful realization began to wash over her, only to stop as Jonah roughly hauled her to her feet.
"Hey, no. None of that self-pity. That's not going to help anyone," Jonah said, his tone more serious than Tammy had heard thus far. "What is going to help you is learning to think things through. Take it from me," he gestured to himself with his free hand. "It may not seem like it, but I actually put a lot of thought into what I do. I kinda have to, after all. When you live life like I do, you want to know every possible way out of trouble. But that's beside the point. The point is that sometimes, you need to plan ahead to get the best possible results." Jonah then gave Tammy a soft smile, one that she could, somehow, tell was genuine. "Now, are you going to say here feeling sorry about yourself, or will you work with us to get rid of this mythological monstrosity?"
Tammy sighed. She knew what she had to do...but she wasn't going to like it. Besides, the Hydra was starting to look for them, and they didn't have much time. "What was your plan again?"
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"This is never going to work," Tammy complained as she and Black Frost made their way back down to where the Hydra was located.
"I'm sorry, what was that, ho?" Black Frost asked. "I couldn't understand what you were saying underneath that thing on your face," the Ice Demon innocently said, much to Tammy's annoyance.
"I said that this is never going to work!" Tammy said once more, raising her voice so that she could be properly heard over the gas that had been awkwardly placed over her face. "And that I hate having to wear this stupid thing! Why can't I just take it off?"
"Because if you do that, then you're going to run the risk of inhaling more of that oversized serpent's poisonous breath," came the voice of Jonah over the earpiece that he had additionally loaned her as part of his plan. "I get that you're more resistant to poison than most beings, your highness, but judging from what you told me, that's not going to keep you safe for long. Take too much of that Hydra venom into your body, and you'll die, just like anyone else would."
Tammy mentally grimaced. It was bad enough that the Human's plan to defeat the Hydra required her to wear the gas mask that he had previously been using. Getting the straps over the horns protruding from her head had been more of a pain than she'd like to admit. But listening to Jonah's voice in her ear had to be a new low for her. Still, she had resigned herself to the fact that this was the only way to ensure they would come out on top, so she chose to suck things up.
"All right, fine," Tammy grunted. "But are you sure this will work?"
"Don't worry, angry lady," Black Frost said cheekily. "The Boss' plan will work! I've seen it before at that Mewnipendence Day fight-ho!"
"Wait, wha-"
"TL; DR, Comet threw this re-enactment, and I messed with it and came close to beating Comet. It was a lot of fun."
Tammy had to make a mental note to ask about that after they were done dealing with the more immediate problem. The Hydra had finished trashing the rest of the ice wall that Black Frost had made and was now looking around, searching for the ones that attacked it.
"All right, and that's your cue. Are you guys ready to do this?" Jonah's voice came crackling over the earpiece.
"YEE-HO!" Black Frost cried out.
"Yeah, I'm ready," Tammy said, more to herself than to let the others know.
"All right, then. Commence Operation: Hydra Stomper!"
On that cue, Tammy and Black Frost then charged down the cliffs towards the Hydra, each preparing their own method of attack as they did so. Black Frost used his ice powers to create a giant icicle which he then threw with great precision and speed at one of the irate heads. Meanwhile, Tammy conjured up several fireballs and began to throw them at the beast like one would a softball. Neither of them actually hit the creature, but it succeeded in fulfilling their real objective: getting its attention. All eight of the Hydra's eyes now clicked into focus, their gaze locked on the two intruders standing in front of it.
Play Kingdom Hearts HD 2.5 ReMix -Dance To The Death- Extended- /DZ-ciY0VV88
"HEY, YOU BIG STUPID LIZARD! BET YOU CAN'T CATCH US-HO!" Black Frost shouted as he proceeded to dance around in a manner meant to piss the monster off even further. The serpent fell for the bait hook, line, and sinker, clambering across the ground as its heads began to dive and snap at the two. The two Demons deftly side-stepped the oncoming heads, taking care to keep out of range of their breath. Tammy had a gas mask plus her heightened immunity to poison, but getting caught directly in the breath of a Hydra was not an experience that she wanted to repeat.
On the other hand, Black Frost did not have to worry about being poisoned by the Hydra that much. Whether it was through dumb luck, the hand of evolution, or an act of providence, Black Frost's kind had a unique trait not shared by most organic beings. As beings made of ice and snow, they lacked the respiratory system found in most sentient life and thus did not need to breathe to stay alive. In short, he was immune to poison breath. While it would still be a problem if he got bit, he wasn't that worried about it. After all, as he was demonstrating while dodging each of the heads, he could just make snowballs and hit the Hydra in the eyes, blinding it and leaving it dazed and confused.
That's it, big guy, Tammy thought before realizing, rather humorously, that she didn't know if the Hydra was a boy or a girl, and not that mattered to their plans. Or girl, just keep your focus on us while the Human takes care of things...
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"All right, here's the plan, you guys," Jonah told the others. "From what I saw from Tammy's earlier attempts, that thing's tougher to take down than we thought. Its scales are either too thick to get through, or its ability to regenerate is better than we realized. So, if we want to take it down, we'll have to follow my lead." Jonah then began to hastily draw a rough sketch in the dirt. "First up is you guys. You will need to keep the Hydra distracted. While you're doing that, I'll go around creating transmutation circles that can be used to create obstacles. Ditches, trap holes, spikes, walls, the works. We'll use them to keep the beast in one spot."
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As the fighting between the Hydra and the Demons continued, Jonah had been doing just what he said he would. It was more physically exerting than he liked, but he couldn't afford to be picky in a life-or-death situation. Especially since he had to make sure his transmutation array was in perfect sync. It was one of his trump cards: by connecting multiple transmutation circles, he could chain them to act as one, creating something bigger than what would normally be possible. And with their adversary distracted by the two Demons, he had managed to create a whole series of circles that covered the entrance to the cave. As he finished drawing the last one in the dirt, he looked up to see that Black Frost had used his ice to directly sever one of the Hydra's heads. As expected, this only led it to regrow as it did before. However, this time, the pace was slower, and the heads that popped out seemed sluggish. It was like a teenager having to force themselves out of their bed for classes that started way too early in the morning for them to care about.
Looks like I was right: that thing's cold-blooded, so it can't stand the cold. That was a nice little tidbit for Jonah to tuck away for later, but for now, he had a job to do. Clapping his hands, he slammed them down on the newly-finished circle, letting the alchemical energy surge through it and connect to the other circles he created. In his mind's eye, Jonah pictured what he wanted them to make for him: massive walls, deep trenches, spikes to keep the beast from the walls. He could see all of it conjured out of the ground itself. When he next opened his eyes, he saw that his will had been done. The obstacles were now in place.
All right, you guys. It's time for phase two. Jonah then scrambled back up the cliff to play out his part.
Meanwhile, as Tammy and Black Frost continued to keep the Hydra at bay, they heard the rumbling as the traps shot up out of the ground. Sparing themselves a quick glance, they looked behind them to find that Jonah's plan had worked: the entire entrance to the cave was blocked off, leaving the Hydra trapped for the time being.
The Hydra also seemed aware of this, and it was unhappy about it. Growling and hissing, it angrily began to lurch forward, ready to use its tail to swat the intruders aside while dealing with foreign objects. Its size and strength would not take it long to break through to the other side and be free.
This was just what Tammy and Black Frost wanted, though.
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"The next step will come after all the barriers are in place," Jonah had continued. "They won't be able to hold it in place for long, but we're going to make sure that it has no choice but to stay put. That's where you come in, Black Frost," Jonah said as he pointed to the Ice Demon. "When it gets distracted, I want you to rush in and use your ice to freeze it in place. Keep it from moving anywhere."
"I can do that, Boss, but...it will probably take a lot out of me, ho," Black Frost said with a wilted expression on his face. "I might not be that much help afterward since this could drain my supply of magic."
"Don't worry, Frost," Jonah told him. "All you need to do is make sure that thing can't go anywhere. We'll take care of the rest."
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"Here goes-ho!" And with that, Black Frost surged forward towards the Hydra, using its ice to create little walls to shield against the headbutts that the snake tried to send his way. The resulting collision proved to be very effective, leaving each head feeling dizzy as they bonked against the ice. That gave Black Frost the opening he needed. Digging deep inside of himself, Black Frost then summoned up ice and snow, the likes of which he had not used in a long, long time. It began to seep up from the ground beneath the monster's body like vines, creeping and crawling their way up to constrict the creature in their cold, cold grasp. None of it was enough to do any damage beyond superficial cuts, but that wasn't the purpose of the attack. Not only was it meant to keep the Hydra stuck in one spot, but the cold was also supposed to make it lethargic and tired.
Sure enough, the ice began to take effect. Even as the heads began to thrash about in a desperate attempt to break free, its body began to slow down, like it was trying to fight off the urge to sleep. This left Tammy with the opening she needed to make her move.
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"Once we've got that thing where we want it, we need to ensure it stays there. That's where you come in, Tammy," Jonah told the Princess. "I want you to use your firebending to take out its eyes, blind it long enough that it won't be able to interfere."
"I don't know. Wouldn't it make more sense for me to just cut off all the heads at once?" Tammy suggested. "Also, firebending?"
Jonah shook his head. "Your fire wasn't enough to take it down the first time, so there's no point trying a second time. No, you should aim for the eyes. As for firebending, it's a concept from my world." Jonah then got this wistful look on his face; he remembered one of his favorite shows, Avatar: The Last Airbender. "It's from this show, where people can manipulate the four classical elements like martial arts. But it's more than just throwing fireballs at enemies. It's about letting your body become one with the element, making it an extension of yourself as you fight. You treat your fire abilities like a blunt instrument rather than a part of your being. Let it flow through you as you attack, and you'll be surprised just how strong you can really become."
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Jonah didn't have much time to explain the concept further, but he tried to get the main idea across. According to that work of fiction, he was talking about, firebending was all about channeling one's drive into power, tempered by their will to accomplish their goals. She didn't really understand it, but Jonah seemed to think that merely charging headlong into things like she had been was not a good idea. If she wanted to improve, she would have to focus on what she wanted to do and let that fuel and steer her passion.
As Tammy charged toward the dazed Hydra, she tried to picture what the Human had been talking about in her mind's eye. What did she want most in the Universe? It took less than a millisecond for her to visualize it. She saw Comet, with his golden blonde hair, brilliant, boyish smile, and deep blue eyes, all looking back at her. She wanted Comet back in her life; she needed Comet back in her life, and for that, she was ready to do whatever it took. She would get through any obstacle to get to him. And right now, this stupid snake was standing in her way. And when things stood in the way of a Lucitor, they got moved aside!
Leaping high into the air, using her fire to keep her aloft, Tammy let out a battle cry that got the attention of the thrashing heads. Opening her eyes, Tammy then channeled her power into her legs to deliver a roundhouse kick that generated a massive crescent of flames that rocketed towards the heads. The flames hit the dead center, getting the monster right in its eight eyes.
For a moment, Tammy just stared at the Hydra, stunned at what she had just done. She knew that she had this kind of power in her, but she had never imagined that she could use it like this! She had to admit that the Human may have been annoying, but he seemed to know what he was talking about.
Having managed to blind and pin the beast in place, now was the time to deliver the killing blow. Fortunately, Tammy and Black Frost had bought Jonah more than enough time to finish what he had in store.
"All right, guys, you did your part. Now get out of there, so you don't get caught up in the fireworks," Jonah's called out over Tammy's earpiece. As Tammy landed back on the ground, she nodded her head before racing to Black Frost, who looked a little exhausted, but was otherwise in one piece.
"Black Frost! It's time for us to leave!"
"Okay!" Black Frost smiled before grabbing hold of Tammy. Then, with the last of his strength, he made a pillar of ice that catapulted himself and Tammy into the air and above the makeshift cage, leaving the Hydra thrashing around by itself, blind and unable to think due to the ice. As the two Demons cleared the traps, they looked to see what Jonah had just finished making. Standing on the cliffs above the cave was a massive stone crossbow, armed with an arrow the size of one of the columns found in Tammy's Castle. Grinning like a maniac, Jonah then gave the side of the massive apparatus a gentle tap. Crackling with alchemical energy, the crossbow came alive as it sprang forward, releasing its stone missile straight ahead, straight towards the chest of the Hydra.
Jonah had come up with a theory the night before about Hydra's. He knew that in the Greek myth of Heracles (Hercules was actually his Roman name), the hero had killed the monster by cutting off its heads and cauterizing the stumps. In the Disney movie loosely based on the myth, the hero had buried it under a mountain of rocks, crushing it. Jonah had another idea, though. If someone aims at its body rather than its head, they could target the vital organs and destroy them. Growing its heads back wouldn't mean a thing if it had lost its heart. And now, Jonah was gambling everything on this notion.
After a few seconds in flight, the stone arrow hit the Hydra dead center in the chest. It looked as though it would not be able to go through; its scales were too thick to be affected. It was only for a second, though. Ultimately, the projectile's sheer speed won out over the beast's natural defenses, and amidst a great fountain of blood, the arrow impaled the Hydra right through its chest.
The Hydra began to howl in pain, its screams so loud that the three had to cover their ears (or earholes, in Black Frost's case). The monster thrashed as its blood began to seep out of its body, trying desperately to avoid the inevitable. Eventually, though, it could do nothing else. Death had come for the giant serpent with its heart pierced and its body trapped in ice. Each of its heads fell limply against the ice, letting out one final hiss before finally falling silent, never to breathe again.
End Music
As the unlikely trio watched from their vantage point, Tammy let out a breath that she didn't even know she'd been holding. Black Frost let out a jubilant cry and began to do this weird dance in celebration of their victory. Jonah, meanwhile, just gave Tammy a very knowing look. And while she still couldn't tell what his expression was underneath the gas mask, she was certain that he was giving her a smirk.
"Told you that we could pull it off," Jonah cheekily said, prompting Tammy to roll her eyes at this.
"Oh, shut up," was all Tammy could say.
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After they had finished celebrating, Tammy insisted that they check to make sure that the Hydra was dead, which meant that they had to head back down to the cave to see the limp body. Sure enough, the Hydra was dead as a doornail, and all that was left after that was handling clean-up. Knowing that there was no way they could take care of disposing of the Hydra's body all on their own, Tammy chose instead to call her parents and inform them that she had completed her mission. She did leave out the parts about help from a Human and Black Frost. Her parents didn't need to know that, and, thankfully, they didn't pry. They simply said that they would send the royal guard to handle the disposal of the body and return the remains of any victims found to their relatives.
On the other hand, Jonah remained completely silent about everything as he poked around at the corpse for a while as Black Frost looked on. When Tammy was done with her call, he came over to her carrying vials filled with a very strange liquid. It didn't take a genius to realize that Jonah had just collected blood samples from the Hydra's corpse, something that she wasted no time scolding him over and saying that it was a bad idea. In response to her worries, he had Black Frost freeze the blood in the vials solid.
"Hydra blood is said to be super deadly, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its uses," he said to justify his decision. "Just think of the medicine and other knowledge that one could discover by studying this stuff."
Tammy called bullshit on this, quickly guessing that he wanted to learn about its poison so that he could use it for his own purposes. Jonah didn't deny it, though he did admit he was mainly doing it because he felt like it would help himself and Comet in the future. Ultimately, Tammy relented, though she warned Jonah not to be reckless with it...not that she cared.
With that, the trio then proceeded to make their way out of the Mountains and back to Baal Village, after that they went their separate ways. Black Frost headed off back to the Eighth Circle after saying goodbye to the two of them, and Tammy brought Jonah back to his room on Earth. Once Jonah had gotten settled into his room, Tammy spoke for the first time since leaving the Mountains, having stayed quiet the entire time.
"So, here's the thing, Human," Tammy awkwardly began to say. "I would just like to say that...I'm sorry."
"Hmm? For what?"
"For...well, for many things," Tammy said as she scratched the back of her neck. "The last few weeks of my life have just been an absolute mess for me. After the Ms. Candle thing, I realized that I might never win back Comet, and I just couldn't accept that and started moping around in my bedroom. And then, you somehow managed to summon me and proceeded to invite yourself onto this mission, which was something that I was not thrilled over-"
"Yeah, I noticed."
"And then you were able to talk down the Cenobites and acted like having a candidate for Demon Lord as your servant wasn't a big deal, and I snapped at and-" Tammy coughed into her fist, realizing that she was getting off-topic. "Look, what I'm trying to say to you is that I underestimated you, and I'm sorry for that...Jonah."
Jonah paused for a moment. That was the first time he had ever heard Tammy use his name instead of "Human."
"My people have never had that high of an opinion regarding Humans, and not many people do. This is one reason I couldn't understand why Comet likes you guys so much. But after seeing what you can do and hearing what Marcia had to say to me, I have to admit, your people are better than others give you credit for."
"If this is your way of saying that you're impressed with me, then how about we just skip to the part where I accept the praise," Jonah bluntly said, much to Tammy's irritation.
"Hey, I'm trying to apologize here. The least you could do is take what I'm saying-you're messing with me again, aren't you?"
"See, now you get it," Jonah said, his voice now more respectful than what it had been just a moment ago, prompting both of them to chuckle a little bit.
"It's Marcia, by the way," Jonah said, much to Tammy's confusion.
"Huh?"
"The deal was that after I help you, I would tell you how to get Comet to let you back into his life," Jonah reminded her. "Well, I'm honoring it."
"But, you know I called it-"
"Doesn't matter," Jonah said as he held a hand up, beckoning her to stop. "I'm doing this because I hated seeing how sad you were before."
"Huh," Tammy said, contemplating that Jonah was telling her this out of pity. Normally, she would be furious about this, but for some reason, not this time. "But how is Marcia the key?"
"Think about it. Marcia is Comet's roommate, guide, and best friend right now," Jonah explained. "He may not always act like it, but he takes what she says to him pretty seriously. And if you can convince Marcia that you can be trusted, she will convince Comet that you can be trusted. Then, boom! Comet will give you a second chance to be friends with him again, or whatever."
Tammy thought about it for a moment, and she had to admit that it was a pretty solid idea. Comet obviously thought highly of what Marcia had to say, and if she could learn to stop hating her, then maybe Marcia would vouch for her. It was pretty brilliant when it came down to it...and somewhat devious.
"All right, then, Jonah. I will take what you have said into consideration. And I will work on getting you Underworld citizenship. On one more condition."
"Oh?"
"I want to learn more about this 'firebending' as you call it," she admitted. "When I used what you were talking about, I felt stronger than I've ever felt, and I want more of that."
"I'd expect nothing less from the future Queen of the Underworld." Jonah held out his hand. "It's a deal." The two teenagers then shook hands, sealing their mutual partnership for the time being.
"Oh, and one last thing," Tammy added. "If I found out that you took photos of me in a bath towel, I will burn your eyes out."
"Noted, and don't worry. I don't do that sort of thing," he clarified. Besides, why bother with that when we got the Internet?
*We finally return to Jay's Workspace, revealing the Absolute Vindication now hovering a few hundred feet above it, while Jay and the rest of the group are setting up a movie screen and snacks while listening to the dankest music from the Sonic media. Omnitraxus doesn't really know what to make of the last line from her counterpart, though.
Omni: So, about what he was thinking...
Jay: Omni, once you hit puberty, you're going to want to want to look at photo's of people in their underwear, swimsuits, and more. And thanks to the Internet and the power of anime fanservice, it's easier than ever to find stuff like this.
Janna: He's not wrong. I can name a bunch of anime with smoking hot guys and girls in them.
Omni: Fine, but I still don't think it's exactly appropriate.
Jay: Noted, but we don't care. What you should care about is how this whole arc did two things. One: it established a relationship between Jonah and Tammy going forward. One that will greatly help Tammy, much like how having Marcia in his life has helped Comet.
DAU Kermit: Yeah, I'm not following.
Slick Goku: Man, what he's trying to say is that the creepy kid's gonna help Tammy become a better person and shit. That was probably his plan from the beginning.
Jay: More or less. He learned everything about Tammy from Comet and Marcia, and felt sorry for her. And while he didn't plan on any of this happening, he seized the moment for all it was worth.
Janna: And by doing so, he gained a powerful potential ally for himself and his friends down the road. Nice to know my twin's just as devious as yours truly.
Jay: Yeah, the second purpose behind this arc was to give us some insight into how Jonah operates. He acts like he doesn't give a shit, but he always tries to think three steps ahead of everyone and figure out the best way to get what he wants. He's cunning like that, and with what I have planned, Comet will need that in the future. No spoilers, though!
Everyone: That's fair. Can we watch the movie now?
Jay: Not yet. I still gotta do the
READER'S REVIEWS
LockAndKey989-Jonah can't resist messing with people who have sticks up their asses.
NightAroma-Nice to know I got you, Night. And there are a lot of great YouTubers you should watch, such as yours truly. Also, yeah, that Hydra was alone. Like some predator's do in the wild, it left the family once it was nearing adulthood to strike out on its own. Big mistake, though.
The Wandering Hippie-Yeah, I actually meant to make this all one chapter, but I didn't get it done in time. Plus I wanted to work on my pacing some more, so there was that.
Speaking of time, I regret to inform you all that there's no new chapter next week due to it being Good Friday. Plus, I've been thinking of doing a genderbent oneshot for Amphibia, so I may try that. Just keep up with me, and you'll see. But once we get back, we will be going into my version of "Friendenemies," so you'll have that to look forward to.
You know what to do: fave and follow this story, and follow me on Twitter (JZ-Gaming), Insta (RJ Writing Ink), and YouTube (Jungoguy)
Happy Easter, everyone! See you in two weeks!
