Sam was hiding under the blankets again crying in frustration. What about this whole situation could Dean not understand? It's not exactly like he could just go off on Dean and even if he could, he would have no idea what to say. Part of him wanted to just be done with it all already but part of him also was scared that he would forget about Brooke. It felt... almost inhuman and cruel. Like someone actually died, no matter what the reason was. And luckily Sam hadn't had to endure much death on hunts unless it was a really bad monster. He hated the grey area and the not knowing if someone truly deserved it or not.

"Sam?" Bobby called from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?"

Bobby took the silence as a cue to enter. He chuckled to himself finding the giant lump hiding under all the bedding.

"You don't have to listen to him, ya know?"

"I know," Sam mumbled.

"So how about you stop pouting and come out and I'll take you to the vigil tonight?"

Sam threw the blanket off his face and sat up on bed.

"I don't want to go if it's just going to bother Dean."

"He can figure that out for himself. This is about you and your friend."

Bobby left the room. Sam rubbed his eyes and walked over to the dresser, praying he would have something decent he could wear tonight.


Bobby sat on the bleachers and watched Sam from across the gym. He had encouraged him to go talk to his friends, only to realize the kid didn't seem to have any friends. Sure some of them came up and asked him how he was doing, but it was that moment Bobby truly realized that the one true friend Sam had actually made that wasn't Dean was gone. And it was like he finally understood why Sam was acting the way he was.

Bobby jumped at the sound of his phone going off in his pocket. He took his eyes off Sam and stepped outside to answer.

"Boy you better not be calling to tell me you did something even more stupid."

"How's it going?" Dean asked.

"It's a bunch of eighth graders mourning," Bobby sighed. "How do you think it's going?"

"Is Sam okay?"

"Why don't you come join us and find out for yourself?"

"Are you kidding?" Dean scoffed. "After how I reacted? No thank you."

"You know he'd rather have you here than me."

The line got quiet on the other end as Dean thought about it.

"By the time I get down there it'll be over. I'll just see him when yall get back."

They hung up the phone and Bobby went back inside the middle school gymnasium. He found Sam standing in the same corner, staring at the ground.

Bobby sighed and walked over to Sam.


Sam was miserable at the vigil. Even more so than he should have been.

It was a great turn out but he couldn't help but feel like something was wrong here.

All the adults made Brooke's death seem like such a loss on the community. Don't get Sam wrong; it was. But Brooke and her family were only here for a few months. They made it seem like Brooke had grown up with their kids since preschool.

The students weren't much better. Kids that had never even passed Brooke in the hallway were crying and saying all kinds of sentimental things that just didn't make sense.

Sam felt like he was honestly the only one who really knew her. He tried to stick around the rest of Brooke's small friend group but even they weren't really feeling it.

It was just the weirdest night ever.

Didn't help that the one person Sam really wanted to be there hadn't talked to him all day.

It also didn't help that everyone was talking about the rumors floating around about him.

You know they were really close right?

Weren't they dating?

They were so cute together!

Dude, I feel so bad for him.

I heard she dumped him because he's such a loner.

I heard it was because his brother knocked up his girlfriend.

Oh my god, do you think he got Brooke pregnant?

I mean, it's not a coincidence that she moved away like the very next day.

Sam hated every second of it. He shouldn't have come. He should have just told Bobby he was feeling sick or something. Dean was right. This was a big mistake.

"Sam?"

He looked up from the spot on the floor he was staring at and saw Bobby standing in front of him.

"Your brother called. He needs us back at the house."

"Is everything okay?"

"I don't know. That's why we need to go right now."

Sam never felt so relieved in his life to get out of such an awkward situation. He didn't even bother to say goodbye to anyone as he and Bobby walked out of the gymnasium towards the car.

"So what's going on?" Sam asked when they got inside the truck.

"Nothin. You just looked like you couldn't take one more second in there."

Oh how right Bobby was.

They drove home and pulled into the driveway behind the Impala. In an effort to avoid his brother, Dean spent all day keeping himself busy by finding random things to work on.

"Hey," he said, shooting Sam a sympathetic smile. Sam tried to smile back but he was too tired.

"I was just about to start cleaning up," Dean added quickly, "I spilled some breaker fluid so grab a rag and help me, would ya?"

Sam happily ran into Bobby's garage and grabbed some rags. He carried them out and helped Dean wipe up the spilled liquid.

"Wanna talk about it?" Dean asked, treading lightly. He knew he had been pushing Sam too much lately.

"You didn't miss anything," Sam said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Sammy you know you can tell me when something's bothering you right?"

"Obviously I can't if it's going to piss you off."

"I wasn't pissed off!"

Sam shot him a bitch face.

"Okay I was a little pissed off."

The two finished cleaning up Dean's mess and went inside to shower and go to bed. It was actually pretty late but Sam couldn't find himself to fall asleep. He laid on his back staring up at the ceiling. He turned his head to look over at Dean, who actually had fallen asleep with his back turned towards him.

"Dean?" Sam whispered.

No response.

"Dean!" Sam whispered, just raising his voice slightly.

"Yeah Sam?" Dean mumbled, barely even awake.

"I'm not mad at you anymore. About Brooke. I know it was an accident."

"I know."

"And... if you want to go back on the road with Dad, that's okay with me."

"Glad to hear it."

Silence.

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I hate fighting with you here."

"Me too Sam."

"Can we please stop?"

"Sure Sam."

More silence.

"Dean?"

"Oh my god," Dean snapped, propping himself up on his forearms and looking over at the other bed. "What now Sammy?"

"Am I bad person if I just want to forget Brooke ever even happened?"

"No Sam. You're not."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Now please shut up and go to sleep."

Sam smiled to himself. He rolled over on his side and closed his eyes. Dean shoved his face back in his pillow and began to fall back asleep.

"Dean?"

"I swear to fucking God Sam-"

"You're the best big brother ever."

"And you're the biggest pain in the ass bitch."

Sam giggled like a little kid.

"Jerk."


someones-big-sister