A/N My standard disclaimer: I discuss controversial topics to show different perspectives and invoke thought, not to take sides. DQ
Chapter Forty-Nine
This Is Going to Complicate Things
When Alexandria came out of her bedroom and into her living room, she was almost surprised to see Wilder hanging out in the window.
"There you are. And just where have you been? I heard Mum was taking care of you, but we're in flying distance of Hogwarts," Alexandria complained.
"Oh, I only stayed at the castle for a couple of nights. I'm working at the Ministry now. I'm a full fledged Agent Owl!" he declared, pointed ruffling his feathers. "I've been busy at work!"
"I see, Dad promoted you," Alexandria replied. "I guess he didn't have any attachments like I did to get in the way of you risking your life in that role."
"I brought you some post from the Ministry," he hooted, and Alexandria walked over to the window and scooped up a letter from her father and what looked to be a Gringott's cheque. "How are you?"
"I have no idea," Alexandria said flatly.
"Better than when you got sacked?" the owl asked.
"I DID NOT GET SACKED!" Alexandria said so loudly that the owl's talons left the window, hovering for a moment outside before alighting again. "I am just on a health sabbatical and that is it. I'm going back."
"When?" the owl hooted.
"When I feel like it!" Alexandria snapped. "When I know who I am!"
"You're Alexandria Clemmons," the owl decided.
"It's a lot more complicated than that," Alexandria said, going through her book stack from the library and picking one. "I'm going to go out for breakfast. Be careful, Wilder, strange owls are always a target in the spy game, you know."
"I'll be careful, but what about you?" he hooted.
"Considering that I still feel the weight of the family net on me, my siblings are lurking around every corner. Even if I couldn't take care of myself... which I can... I think they'd jump out of nowhere if I tried to get into too much trouble," Alexandria complained, going out the flat door and down the stairs towards the front. Alexandria let out a loud groan, loud enough to get the attention of Corey and Conner, who were chatting at the far end of the counter.
"Hey, Aunt Alex! I'm getting the horses out for the day. Want to head to my house for a ride and to see the kids?" Conner asked cheerfully.
"It's February. It's muddy," Alexandria in a monotone voice that made it clear that there was more to this out of the blue invitation.
"True, but should dry out by next weekend, and the horses need some exercise. I'll saddle up your favorite strawberry roan," Conner offered. "Hey, I know, I'll invite Stew and Mandria over and all four of us can take the horses out. What do you think?"
"I have to go to Milan on Monday."
"Then we'll go on Saturday, to give you a day to pack," Conner decided.
"Fine, I'll go if you can talk Mandria into going," Alexandria said with a sigh.
"Great! I'll send you an owl if they say yes," Conner replied, and Alex grumpily went out of the shop, ignoring everyone out of pure irritation as she went into Nevera's tea shop for breakfast.
Out of habit, she picked a spot back from the window but within sight of it and the entrance, sitting down and ordering. It was only after her food got there when she realized that she forgot to get a newspaper, which is what she normally liked to read at breakfast. Instead, she remembered that she had a letter from her father and got it out instead, immediately seeing that it was Agent paper, which, once opened, would disintegrate if anyone but its recipient attempted to read or copy it.
Alexandria,
Hope you're doing well and staying safe. I have sent you a small present that will aid you while you're on your own. Since everyone who reads the Daily Prophet is aware that you are leave, I would advise that you keep on your toes in case someone want to take advantage and cause you mischief. Rest assured, that there will always be someone in calling distance should you need assistance.
~ Your father
"Tell me something I don't already know," Alexandria muttered at the letter, putting it away irritably before eating.
She sighed, wondering if she should start going through the pile of Daily Prophet issues she had at home to find out what was being said about her. But did she really want to get stressed out about it right now? It was bad enough that her family wasn't giving her time to think. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she didn't want to see any newspapers at all. Maybe she'd better to read the newspaper after her horse riding weekend. Better yet... maybe after her trip to Milan the weekend after that... or maybe just never.
Liking that idea the more she thought of it, Alexandria finished her breakfast and strode right over to the office of the Daily Prophet. The Trade Elf at the circulation desk seemed to be more than a little confused by her request to cancel her subscription, but finally he shrugged and filled out her request.
Alexandria strode out of the office confident and feeling like she had conquered the world... or at the very least, feeling like she had accomplished something positive. She went back to the library to get more research done, and to grab a couple of tourist guides on Milan while she was there.
Mr. Jack came out of the alley curiously and slipped into the Daily Prophet. A moment later, he came out with a baffled expression, striding over to look in the library window to see Alexandria back at her table again. Just why had she canceled her subscription? Was she that irritated by all of the speculation on the gossip column that she would have gotten fed up with it? Shrugging it off, he went back towards the school to clean his bus.
Alexandria was holding Lindsay's daughter Eadie when Stew and Mandria arrived at the Donovan farm, dressed for riding. With them was their son Chip, dressed for his play date with the other toddler.
"Fair warning, it's been a while since I've been riding," Mandria said.
"No problem, I'll put you on one of the kids' horses then. They're used to the abuse," Conner teased her. "Shall we go out to the stables?"
"Have fun, guys. We're going to stay in here and have fun where it's nice and warm," Lindsay teased.
"Just don't forget to feed us cold and ravenous riders when we get back," Conner told her, giving her a quick kiss before grabbing his cloak. Shall we?"
"So do you still prefer the larger breeds, Conner?" Stew asked as they walked to the barn.
"For me, yes, but since we've got riders of all ages in the family now, we own a bit of everything... including a mule and a pair of Shetlands. But I think for today we'd be better off with some horses that are more comfortable with a back country trail. Here, Alex, your favorite strawberry roan."
"Hello, Apricot," Alexandria said, receiving a kind greeting in return.
"That's Lindsay's favorite horse too, isn't it?" Stew recalled.
"Yes, we got it as a wedding present from my uncle. Speaking of which, are you up for riding Bobs?" Conner asked Stew.
"You would put me on the tallest horse in the barn," Stew said.
"Well, if you don't want Bobs, you could take Manifesto..."
"I'll take Bobs," Stew immediately said, going over to the stall.
"What's wrong with Manifesto, other than the opposing name?" Mandria asked with a grin.
"He's a bit of a biter, and he can be hard to handle," Conner admitted. "But I'll give you Raspberry, she's very tolerant with inexperienced riders."
"I'm not inexperienced, just rusty," Mandria protested as Conner led out her horse. The horse snorted through her lips.
"Sorry, she does that a lot. That's why we call her Raspberry," Conner grinned.
"Apt name then," Mandria decided, leading her out of the stables and over to the block.
"I know a nice ridge we can take the horses to. The land doesn't get very high here, but it's enough of a difference that we can stop and admire the valley for a few minutes before heading back," Conner said, mounting up. Pretty soon Conner was leading them in a line over to a wooded area, followed by Alex, then Mandria, then Stew in the back.
The first part of the trip was quiet, and Alexandria enjoyed just being out in nature. The trees helped block the chilly wind, and the ground was just firm enough to make for a decent walk through the brush without too much mud being kicked up in the process. At the end of the trail there was only grass on either side of a small dirt path that led up to the ridge where they gave the horses a break and admired the view.
"Alright there, Alex?" Conner asked her. It seemed like a casual question, but Alexandria new better.
"Yes, actually, this has been helpful," she admitted, and he smiled thinly. "This is a very different sort of quiet, isn't it? It's entirely the opposite of being in my flat left with my own thoughts. It's an active sort of quiet, where I'm having to pay attention to the horse and my surroundings so I don't have time to think. It also helps that Apricot doesn't like to talk when she's walking." Conner chuckled at that.
"To be honest, I had forgotten that you can talk to them," he admitted. "I was actually thinkingthat it might be relaxing for you to get away from the noise for a while."
"No really, it is nice... as long as this isn't some sort of plot to get me into your office, that is," Alexandria said suspiciously.
"No rush, there's plenty of time," Conner said unconcernedly. "Because we both know you can't go back to work without my signature, so I really don't have to press the issue. I just wanted to see how you how you're doing, as a friend... and your nephew..."
"If you call me Aunt Alex again, I'll flatten you," Alexandria warned.
"Well, that'd give me a good reason to give you an appointment, now wouldn't it?" Conner taunted her unconcernedly, turning his horse slowly around and going over to talk to the other a moment. Alexandria scowled at him, but finally sighed and followed him down the ramp.
Fortunately he didn't bring it up again, despite the fact that Alexandria was certain that he would. After thanking Apricot for the ride, she followed the others inside to wash up and had lunch before finally returning back home.
Alex felt unusually tired and took a nap on the couch, only to find walk up still there in the morning. She remembered being cold in the middle of the night, and yet now a fire was lit in the fireplace and the blanket over her bed had been placed over her. Wondering if Corey might have come in when she was sleeping, she sat up.
All of the sudden, she wished she hadn't sat up so fast.
Hurrying just as fast as she could, she almost didn't make it to the bathroom in time.
After she was feeling better, she paused to wash her face and gargle some salt.
"Please don't let this be what I'm afraid it is," Alex told her blotchy self in the mirror.
Realizing that standing in the bathroom for too long might make her want to hurl again, she stepped out and got dressed, running a brush through her hair before slowly making her way downstairs.
Maybe Corey had already left for the Ministry, she thought as she shuffled down the stairs. Part of her really didn't want him to be there. But the part of her that really, really wanted him to be there won out and she somehow made it to the lab in time to see him putting a fresh coffee kettle on the burner.
"Oh, hello, Alexandria. Hey, you missed dinner last night," Corey said.
"I fell asleep on the couch and slept through the night. Didn't you know?" Alexandria.
"I knew you were in your flat and you that didn't answer when I knocked. But in the end, I decided to cut you a break because I know you were out at Conner's earlier," Corey said. "You alright? You look like you need a Pepper Up Potion."
"I... don't know. Actually I was wondering... well, I think I might have a problem. Only I don't know. And I really don't want to know. Because it'd be bad if it was what I think it is, because then what would I do? And it probably isn't was I think it is because I took a potion afterwards, even though I may have waited eight hours to take it and it might have been two or three years passed its expiration date but it doesn't matter because I'm sure that's not it, and I'm just worrying for no reason, and since that's true then I would very much appreciate it if you'd just put me at ease by giving me an initial assessment so that I can just forget about it and be more careful about my choices in the future," Alexandria said all in one breath.
"Okay," Corey said evenly. "Do you need some tea? Tepid water? Or a bucket?"
"I don't know. I have a headache," Alexandria grumbled, then brightened hopefully. "Do you think I have the flu?"
"I think you're dehydrated," Corey said, getting her a cup of water. "Here, drink that while I get you a potion, Sis."
Alex slowly sipped her water as worry set in as Corey went to the front and came back with an potion bottle and a large satchel, closing the door behind himself.
"What is that?" Alex asked grumpily.
"It's for you," Corey said. "Here, start with this," he recommended, handing her a morning sickness potion. Alexandria groaned loudly.
"This is a nightmare. Are you sure I need this?" Alexandria asked in a whine.
"I'm not the one who is sure. You are the one who is sure," Corey told her bluntly, waving a hand at her. "Your aura seems to confirm it, but I'm an alchemist, not a doctor, so I suggest you make an appointment. First, take the potion. If you start feeling better after taking it, I'd say it's just further confirmation."
Alex downed the potion, and began to sob. Corey pulled went over and hugged her, comforting her as best as he could.
"I can't do this again! I just can't! My heart can't take it! I know I need to be stronger than this. As the Minister of -"
"You're not the Minister," Corey interrupted. Her breath caught for a moment, but in the end she burst into tears.
"It isn't fair! Why can't I have what all of my siblings have always had? A chance to have a happy family! I loved my ability until that day in Morfin's office when we found out why Jay's language skills were behind. I hated walking away, I wanted so much to be a better mother than I felt my mother was to me, by staying and spending all the time I could with my children!"
"Our mother was never a bad mother, Alex," Corey said sternly. "Every moment she was home from weekends to holidays, she went overboard to spend as much time as possible with the four of you. Surely you've learned by going through it yourself that her absence hurt her as much as it did you, but she had to do her job just like you had to do yours."
"I wasn't even allowed summer holidays to bond! And Christmas holidays were nothing short of miserable, what little we had of them! It was always so full of family that I never got as much time with them as I liked!" she complained.
"Well, that much you can correct. No one is going to resent you if you want to skip the family holidays so you can spend more time with your new little one. In fact, I'm certain now that you have full view of how things went with the other two, there's quite a number of other things you can improve on..."
"No. I don't want to do this again. If I can't be with my child, I really don't want another. It's not fair to either of us," Alexandria said firmly. "Surely it hasn't been so long that this isn't easily reversible with a potion. It'd be quite easy for me to take the Portkey stations to somewhere that it's legal." Corey grew quiet, helping her back onto stool while grabbing another one without speaking. "I can trust you with that, can't I? You wouldn't tell Mum," she asked, frowning at his hesitation.
"Yes, you can, and no, I wouldn't tell anyone. But that said, I also know better than to act on a mother's first reaction to this. It's too big of a decision to make on a whim," Corey told her seriously.
"I won't change my mind," Alexandria said resolutely.
"Fine, but I want you to think about it anyway... and discuss the matter over with the father... I also want a note from Conner so I know you've explored this more thoroughly."
"I can't wait on this!" she protested. "It happened at New Year's!"
"Then you still have a week or so to think this through," Corey said.
"I'll be in Milan for most of it," Alexandria said.
"Good, then it'll give you some time to get out of everyone's headspace so you can evaluate your own," Corey said.
"You're not going to talk me out of it?" Alexandria asked warily.
"Personally I think it's a big mistake, especially in a family that would be more than willing to pick up the slack and help you care for a baby in every way. But it's your decision and the Magician's decision, not mine. My concern is your health and welfare as my sister, which is the only reason I would make the potion so that I know it's done properly. You obviously still have some trauma after being separated from your other two children that needs to be addressed. If Conner agrees that your mental welfare is playing a big factor in this decision, I'm going be more persuaded," Corey said solemnly. "Until then, I suggest the you take the bag I brought with extra morning potions and other balms and remedies you may need. Do you mind if I consult Aurelius about this just so that I can get my thoughts protected?"
"Can you give him a different secret instead?" Alexandria asked hopefully, and Corey sighed.
"I'll see what I can come up with. If you're feeling better, maybe you should get ready for your trip. I have to go to the Ministry to help Dad. If I need to see Rel first, I have to get a move on," he said.
"So you're still helping out at the office?" Alexandria said curiously.
"Dad asked me to be his secretary for a few hours every day," Corey said. "He also hired two personal assistants."
"Two?" Alexandria gawked.
"He hired Bael because he said he needed someone to talk at when he was working on cases..."
"I use my familiars for that," Alexandria sighed.
"And he hired the Magician as his other assistant to help organize and translate for all of your familiar Agents," Corey finished, ducking in advance.
"WHAT? I don't want him in my Ministry! I didn't even want him to be an Agent, let alone a personal assistant!" Alexandria shouted.
"Sack the assistants when you get back then," Corey shrugged. "Although to be fair, Bael is only staying until June, so I'm not sure that one's worth the effort. If you want to sack me too, be my guest."
"I wanted you back in R&D, not in my office," Alexandria snapped.
"And I'm sure I will be once you're back, but right now it's Dad's job and he's going to run it in his own way," Corey says. "As for why he felt it was safe to hire the Magician for that position, I really don't know. I had the impression that they must have had some sort of conversation I wasn't apart of, because Dad's now treating him as if he trusts him as much as he does any of us. You know as well as I do that Dad doesn't give out his trust to just anyone, so I'm betting he knows more than I do about this situation... maybe more than you do too," he suggested, earning a dark glower from Alex. "Grandfather seems to trust him as well," Corey added for good measure when Alexandria didn't respond.
"I'm going back upstairs," Alex said curtly.
"Don't forget your bag," Corey said, and Alex snatched it up, grumbling as Corey unlocked the door and she made her way up the stairs.
