Hello, I just wanted to say that I had to delete a very disturbing comment today, and whether it was a bot or a real person it should not have been posted under this story, please only talk about this wonderful story, I will delete any and all spam/ unrelated/ inappropriate comments to keep this a safe space to read an amazing narusasunaru :)
Enjoy!
The Long Way Home
Part 12
Berry Bad
Chapter 2/3
Naruto made them walk later than usual that day. In fact by the time he gave up he could barely see his feet in front of him so it was either continue to walk in the dark or find somewhere to camp.
He had been hoping to find the village the trader had been coming back from but trying to lead Sasuke along the road without him veering off had been time consuming and Naruto didn't have a horse like the trader did to make the traveling faster in the first place. So needless to say they would be spending another night out in the wilderness and it was likely that Naruto wasn't going to get a lot of sleep again.
Sasuke seemed only a little closer to being back to his old self than he had been last night and that worried Naruto a little. Despite appearing a little more lucid when he spoke, it seemed as though Sasuke's accidental foray into the land of drug taking was going to last until at least tomorrow after all and Naruto worried that his own lack of sleep might weaken him enough for the Kyuubi to take over again. With Sasuke the way he was, who knew what might happen?
He liked to think that by now he could trust Kurama, and he sort of did. Even after Sasuke had told him that Kurama had tried to leave he still wasn't as sure as Sasuke had been that it was with any sort of evil intent. Actually the only really concrete thing he had gleaned from Sasuke's recounting had been that Kurama really didn't seem to like Sasuke much. Which probably wasn't so surprising considering how much Kurama hated Uchiha's in general.
But he did wonder how close Sasuke had come to death that day on the road. Apparently Kurama hadn't don't anything violent to Sasuke for Naruto's sake but Naruto had to wonder if that would be the same outcome in a moment when it looked like Sasuke might be at his mercy. Would he think Naruto's pain was worth it just for a chance to hurt or possibly kill Sasuke? Naruto wasn't sure if he really wanted to find out.
Well at least he could eat properly. He'd cooked more fish than necessary last night and decided that cold fish would be just fine for dinner tonight. He did build a fire but only to give him enough light to see so he could pick the bones out of Sasuke's portion before allowing him to eat it. Once that was done, the pair settled back a ways away from the fire to get away from the heat and started to eat.
Sasuke meanwhile seemed content enough to sit and watch him and not try to wander off or be a pain. Actually he seemed to be watching Naruto very intently while he ate his de-boned fish so much so that Naruto was so distracted watching him out of the corner of his eye he managed to stick a particularly large and sharp bone from his own fish into his thumb.
"Fuck," he swore pulling out the bone and watching the blood well up.
He stopped and stared though as Sasuke got swiftly to his feet and came over to him. Before he could stop him, Sasuke straddled his crossed legs and grabbed his hand, sticking the thumb into his mouth and sucking at the blood just like he had with the berry juice the night before. And just like before he gave Naruto that expectant look, his face a little flushed.
"Um, thanks?"
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
Apparently that wasn't the reaction he'd been going for and Naruto wracked his brain for a moment before he arrived shocked at the suggestive implications.
"Don't Sasuke. Please don't make me think about that."
"It was good, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, really good. But not right now."
"It's not like you to be reticent."
Trust Sasuke to still be able to come out with words like that stoned off his head.
"You're not usually like this either."
"I want it."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes," Sasuke repeated leaning forward to touch their lips together.
Naruto didn't let him get that far though and pushed him backwards off his lap and onto the leaf litter by his legs in front of him.
The flush that had covered the pale skin of his face and neck, Naruto could now see actually covered a lot of his chest too by the way his shirt was gaping quite a lot. His skin looked slightly glossy from a fine mist of sweat covering it.
Sasuke didn't get up from his new position where Naruto had pushed him only smiled languidly and stretched his arms up over his head.
"So I'll take that as a 'no' then?" Sasuke asked in what he probably hoped was an innocent tone.
"Like I'd mess around with you now," Naruto replied hotly. "You're high on berries and not acting like yourself."
"And that turns you off?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. "I would've thought you'd like me better this way."
Naruto had to remind himself how to breathe for a few moments. "Who said anything about liking you at all?"
A small corner of Sasuke's mouth tipped up then. "I didn't actually mean it like that. You continually call me your friend, you must like me a little, that's what I meant. But if you want to go there..."
"No!" Naruto was quick to interject. "Definitely not. It's not like that."
"Well whatever, all I meant was that I thought you might prefer a more subdued me. You know, someone who isn't aggressive, won't fight back, isn't a-"
"Jerk," Naruto finished for him.
"Pretty much."
"Eating poisonous berries hasn't made you less of a jerk, Sasuke," Naruto pointed out.
"Maybe not," Sasuke conceded. "But I'm feeling a lot more... open than usual."
The way Sasuke had fallen had left his legs splayed over Naruto's on either side leaving himself very open looking indeed. He gave Naruto a big inviting smile.
Naruto swallowed. "You've got to be kidding me," he muttered. More loudly he added, "I'm not taking advantage of you when you're strung out like this."
"Why not?" Sasuke asked frankly. "There's a lot to be said for taking advantage. Didn't stop me when you were feverish from passing out in the middle of the road."
"That's different," Naruto told him flushing just slightly with the reminder. "My brain wasn't being affected by mind altering drugs. I asked for it."
"So? I'm asking for it now. I'll even beg if you want me to."
Naruto got a mental picture in that moment of Sasuke begging to be touched and immediately it started to make him a little hard.
"It's not the same. You'll hate me when you come to your senses."
"I doubt that. I don't think you comprehend how nice it is to be in total control or you wouldn't be so reluctant. When you let me do what I wanted I took my time, tasted you. Don't tell me you haven't wondered what it would be like."
The way Sasuke was talking was giving him shivers. Sasuke wasn't a particularly open person and Naruto figured that the way he dealt with what they occasionally did with one another was to just simply not talk about it much.
Didn't mean Sasuke never showed a certain amount of enthusiasm about it but it was a playful sort of aggressive struggle for dominance with each other that was more akin to sparring than to sharing intimate moments with a special person. He didn't talk dirty unless he was trying to be crude or give shock value to overbalance his sparring partner and gain an edge.
But here he was offering the opposite and his words were only turning Naruto on even more.
"I'm not taking advantage," Naruto repeated stubbornly.
"You didn't answer my question," Sasuke noticed with a growing smile.
"Fine, yeah, I've wondered. I even offered, remember? But I'd rather find out when you're clear and sober thanks."
Sasuke continued to smile at him but didn't say anything for a while. It was a little unnerving actually. Sasuke smiled these days more than Naruto was ever used to but this constant happy expression now was a new thing courtesy of the berries and Naruto wondered if Sasuke was hurting his face with so much smiling.
Sasuke bought down one of his arms to rest his hand against his belly.
"So you won't even touch me," Sasuke asked him.
"Not like this," Naruto affirmed.
"Fine, I'll do it myself."
Before Naruto could register what Sasuke had said he watched as Sasuke's hand slid over his taut belly and beneath his pants. Naruto could see his hand move beneath the cloth and when Sasuke touched himself he closed his eyes and moaned
"Holy fuck, teme! What are you...?"
Sasuke opened his eyes just a little. "You won't do it."
Naruto figured he should move or stop him but couldn't force himself to do either. He had a good view of Sasuke right now even though he couldn't really see exactly what was going on but the movements of his hand in his pants, the way his face flushed ever deeper and the sounds... oh the sounds, were making his stomach clench and his cock to reach excessively hard levels.
It made him realise a couple of things. Firstly that the berries made Sasuke into a completely inhibited version of himself which was kinda fun, definitely hot, but mainly worse. And secondly, that the reason he got turned on by Sasuke wasn't just because he was finally experiencing getting off with another person.
He had thought until now that it was a reactionary sort of thing. What they did together felt good, friction, hands touching and generally pleasant sensations. He'd thought that his body was just reacting to the stimulus more than anything. But now he wasn't being stimulated by anything other than watching Sasuke touch himself and that was a little eye opening.
So the headline news was that Sasuke did it for him. Well so much for just simply liking girls. It wasn't the shock he had expected though because he knew he'd begun to realise this before now and the things they did together were a definite giveaway.
The biggest shock was that Sasuke must realise this too, otherwise he wouldn't be trying to tease him like this if that was indeed what he was doing. That was a little embarrassing. But it did make him wonder whether Sasuke had come to the same conclusion about him or thought it simply because Sasuke was confident enough about his looks to think that everyone was turned on by him no matter what he did.
Out of the two, Naruto was more inclined to believe the latter knowing Sasuke the way that he did. But then Sasuke had mentioned before how nice it had been when Naruto had submitted to him. He did clearly remember how Sasuke had took his time, kissed him slowly, ran his hands all over his body until he'd took it upon himself to give Naruto his first ever blowjob. If Sasuke hadn't wanted to do it, if he'd only been doing it out of wanting to feel good, why bother going that far?
Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm, stopping his movements. Dark unfocussed eyes found his and frowned ever so slightly.
"Changed your mind?" he asked.
"No," Naruto told him. "Just don't do this in front of me okay?"
Sasuke grinned at him. "Getting to you, am I?"
"Yes," Naruto admitted. "But you're gonna hate yourself if you do this as well as hating me. Sasuke you don't even like me watching you brush your teeth, you'd never do this normally."
"Maybe that's why I'm doing it," Sasuke offered instead. "It's sort of nice to feel like this. I feel content. Admit it, you like it."
Naruto blinked at him. So horniness wasn't the only thing to come from the berries. Maybe they really did open up his mind. "You're not normally that bad."
"Yeah now try saying that again like you actually mean it."
"I do mean it."
"I don't for the most part dislike who I am," Sasuke admitted. "But I care more about appearances than you think I do."
"You mean what you look like?" Naruto asked confused.
"I think about what other people see in me."
"Oh," Naruto said in understanding. "Wait, but you just said you don't dislike who you are. If you cared about what other people thought of you, why are you such an asshole to people? You're so cold around strangers, it's not exactly like you want them to like you."
"I don't want them to. I like being distant. But you can't show weakness if you want to remain that way."
Sasuke was making even less sense than usual. When Naruto thought about how you appear to other people he thought about trying to make people like you. Well, Naruto did things for people and acted friendly towards them because that's just who he was but it did often have the happy side-effect of making them think nicely of you. But here Sasuke seemed to be suggesting that he was cold and aloof on purpose so people didn't like him. It didn't make a lot of sense to Naruto. And he sure didn't understand what that could possibly have to do with Sasuke being horny.
"I don't get it."
"You wouldn't," Sasuke said dismissively but Naruto felt he hadn't said it to be insulting either. "You share yourself with people without thought. But it's everything or nothing," Sasuke continued. "You can't decide to keep yourself at a distance from everyone but then let one person see your weakness"
"Are you talking about the frustration thing?" Naruto asked.
"Yes. It's difficult to find a balance. I thought it would be easy to enjoy it but remain outside of it. But it isn't working and I don't want to appear... exposed to you. But I want things, I want to ask for things and I can't normally."
It was taking a lot of effort, but Naruto felt like he was starting to get it. Sasuke almost never asked for things where their frustration relieving thing was concerned because he didn't want to seem too open about it because he wasn't that sort of person. Asking for things meant that it was more than just relieving something, more than just an excuse, it meant that he was a little more involved with it than that, despite his best intentions.
"I hate to burst your bubble Sasuke, but your attempt to make it seem like you're just doing what you have to sort of failed when you blew me.
Sasuke thought this over for a while. "Oh."
It was such an un-Sasuke response that it made Naruto grin.
"You're allowed to ask for things. I mean grabbing me and kissing the breath out me like usual works too, but if you want me to do something you just have to ask. Trust me, I'm not going to be all astounded to know that you like something and it's not gonna make me suddenly think you've gone soft either. Especially not when you keep biting me hard enough to draw blood all the time."
Sasuke gave him a half smile. "That's good to know. But you're still not going to touch me right now either, despite the psychological breakthrough?"
Naruto frowned. "Please don't tell me you just did that sharing thing to win."
"Maybe I did, doesn't mean it isn't true."
"You manipulating bastard!" Naruto swore. "You must be getting better. Last night you were staring at the fire and chasing the mice around. I don't know how many other people could still be under the effects of a powerful drug and still think like an evil genius."
Sasuke gave him a pleased smile. "That was almost a compliment."
"Not hardly."
"It is easier to think tonight," Sasuke admitted. "I think the food helped."
"You're still high though," Naruto argued. "You're still not talking like yourself. You keep saying weird things."
"It's nothing I haven't thought about, but I'm finding it easier to put into words."
"Uh huh, sure. You're just horny."
"It's not just about that. I've been thinking about going home."
Naruto was confused again. "What's to think about, I mean isn't that where we're going?"
"You are, but what home am I going to?"
Naruto was tempted to say Konoha. After all in Sasuke's drugged and more easygoing state, the suggestion might not be received with the same anger and violence as it usually was. But he also didn't want to start an open sharing moment about that because he wasn't sure if he would like the results any more than usual.
"I know you said we don't have to be so rushed about it anymore, is that what you mean?"
"No. I just don't know why I'm going at all."
Naruto was stunned. Sasuke might have mentioned before that he was more relaxed being taken away from his troubles for a little while but he'd never indicated that he wanted to make that feeling permanent. But Naruto could see how staying away from the Five Nations might be tempting for someone in Sasuke's position. Of course Sasuke was never one to take the easy way out though so he was still pretty shocked.
"You really want to stay here? That sounds a bit like running away to me."
"Well maybe not here," Sasuke admitted. "I'm sure there are better places. And it isn't running away"
"So what, we keep traveling along till you decide you like some town and just stay?"
"Don't sound so horrified, I'm not asking you to stay with me."
"What about your chakra?"
"You think that will come back the longer we walk?" Sasuke scoffed.
Which was a good point. Either their chakra would come back or it wouldn't. Nothing about traveling onwards was really going to change that.
"If we get back into ninja lands, people might be able to help us get it back."
"Help you," Sasuke corrected.
Naruto wanted to tell him that he was being way too pessimistic about it but he couldn't really lie like that. Sasuke not having chakra would probably make a lot of people breathe a little easier.
"I would help you," Naruto persisted.
"Don't be so dramatic," Sasuke told him. "I never said I would stay, just that I was thinking about it. And so far I haven't seen anywhere worth staying anyway so I'm not holding my breath for the future."
"Oh."
"You seem pretty determined to not part ways with me," Sasuke observed. "Last week you were telling me to go on without you."
"Last week was different," Naruto returned. "But given the choice.."
"And you said I was being uncharacteristically horny."
"You are! But this has nothing to do with that! I don't want us to stay together just because of that!"
"It would make more sense if you did. You know, I don't think you appreciate your situation. How many people do you think would love to be in your position right now?"
Lots, tons, Naruto supplied to himself. To Sasuke though he just said, "Ego much teme?"
"But here you are," Sasuke continued, ignoring him, "In a position to do whatever you want with me and your acting like the thought disturbs you."
It didn't disturb him necessarily and he was just about to tell Sasuke that when another more important question reared up in his mind.
"You're right, there are a lot of people who must want you. I know one girl in particular who would probably give their right arm to get the chance to mess around with you. So all these people to choose from... why me?"
Sasuke stopped trying to pull his hand free for a moment. "Didn't we have this conversation already?"
"Remind me."
"It was a choice thing, wasn't it?" Sasuke asked like he was a little unsure. "You're familiar, comfortable and frustrated."
Naruto couldn't help be a little disappointed by the reply. He didn't know what he'd hoped for, certainly not some confession of feelings, but something a little more emotional. Hell, he'd even take physical appeal at the moment.
"Sasuke, are we friends?"
"Well I wouldn't ask my mortal enemy to fool around if that's what you mean."
"No it isn't. Just answer the question."
"Do you still want us to be friends, even now?" Sasuke asked instead. "After all the fighting, all the drama, is that what you still want?"
"Yes," Naruto answered honestly. "I never gave up on that Sasuke. Not even when we fought."
Sasuke finally managed to get his arm free but thankfully took his hand out of his pants and stretched it up over his head. He stared a little bleary eyed at the dark sky above and sighed.
"I don't know what we are if we aren't friends," Sasuke told him. "You're certainly the closest thing I have to one."
Did Sasuke just admit that they were friends? Naruto almost couldn't believe it and he didn't expect the strange light-headedness that followed that admission. It made him realise how badly he had wanted them to be friends again and how much Sasuke's ongoing refusals had gotten to him over the past two months. So when he allowed the information to sink in he smiled suddenly, happy to hear the news.
"So it's not because we're ah, closer or anything then?"
Sasuke frowned. "I haven't thought about it. Maybe. I mean I've never wanted to do this with anyone else."
It was a compliment of sorts, he supposed. Sasuke wanted him and him alone which made him feel a bit more special.
"But I suppose that if I really cared like you're suggesting," Sasuke continued, "I probably wouldn't let you get any closer."
"What does that mean?" Naruto asked, his smile slipping a little.
"You irritate the hell out of me with your optimism, your moronic ideals, your bravado not to mention your near constant chatter about the dumbest things. But really, I suppose you're a good person, and I guess that means you deserve good things. I am not a good thing."
It was probably the first time in the history of, well, history that someone had shown how much they didn't care about someone by offering themself to that person. Again Naruto heavily suspected that Sasuke's brain didn't function like a normal person's and even less when he was high
"You don't give yourself enough credit," Naruto told him quietly.
"Or maybe I give you too much," Sasuke replied with a half smile. "But I suppose it doesn't matter if you don't want to take it any farther."
"Not when you're like this," Naruto told him.
"Yeah but when I've sobered up I doubt you're going to get the same opportunity. I might feel open enough now but you really think you'll catch me in another mood like this any time soon?"
"Wait, a moment ago you were asking me to take charge or whatever."
"Yeah and before that I was talking about not wanting to be exposed by wanting things. My advice is to take advantage of the temporary want of mine to... wait," Sasuke raised himself up by his arms so he could look at Naruto more directly. "Did you just admit that you want to?"
"No Sasuke! Not that it isn't tempting," he added honestly.
"Wow, that's vague."
"Bite me."
"Is this about being prepared again, because I thought you were over that now. Don't think about it, just do."
"No! Don't look at me like that, it's not like you're Mister Experience either."
"That's another thing that annoys me about you, your inability to think in little steps."
"Yeah well, excuse me for jumping to conclusions 'cause it's not like either of us just jump in to a situation unprepared," Naruto told him sarcastically.
"Experimentation works where brute force doesn't," Sasuke told him with a grin. "And despite your attempts to kill the mood I'm still pretty hard."
Naruto felt himself twitch at the blatant invitation. "I told you-"
"You're so aggravating!" Sasuke exclaimed letting himself fall back again. "Look, if I wasn't high from poison fruit right now and was telling you to take advantage, what would you want to do?"
"I dunno," Naruto said shrugging to try and cover up his embarrassment. "What we always do I guess."
"You're not really getting into the spirit of this," Sasuke told him bluntly.
"As if you'd ever just lie back and let me do whatever," Naruto challenged. "Not in your right mind."
"Okay, good point. But the better point is that I would let you at least do the usual stuff. I'll take that if you're so unwilling to get off that noble high ground long enough to actually enjoy the situation."
"I don't know..."
"Put it this way, if you don't please me I'm just going to go back to doing it myself and then you can be noble and frustrated."
Well out of the two options, the one least out of the ordinary was the first option. At least getting them both off together wasn't unusual these days and not something Sasuke was likely going to feel annoyed about the next day. If Naruto let him jerk off to an audience there was definitely going to be some sullen grumpiness.
"It's not taking advantage if it would happen usually," Sasuke urged him.
"Still feels that way," Naruto muttered.
"Shut up and take my pants off," Sasuke demanded.
"No! I'm not doing anything," Naruto replied stubbornly.
"Just the usual."
"No. And if you make me say that one more time..."
"Naruto. Don't make me feel like asking and enjoying is weak."
Naruto looked at him them and was surprised at the slight desperation he saw there. It made him suddenly feel a little bad. Was Sasuke really suggesting that Naruto's refusal would make Sasuke reluctant to ask in the future. It certainly seemed that way.
"How do I know that you're sober enough to know what you're asking for? You seem a little better, but you're still high."
To Naruto's utter annoyance Sasuke smirked at him like he knew that Naruto was wavering.
"I'm not afraid of you."
Well that was a ridiculous statement. Of course Sasuke wasn't afraid of him, Sasuke never seemed afraid of him for any reason. But was this some bizarre Sasuke way of telling Naruto that he trusted him?
"Reminding me about trust isn't going to make me want to fool around with you right now," Naruto informed him.
"You think I'm asking because I'm not completely myself," Sasuke guessed. "That's probably true in some way. But I wouldn't ask anyone else no matter how high I was. Does that make you feel better?"
"It does actually," Naruto admitted swallowing thickly. And that was true, but... "But if I do anything, I'll feel a lot worse."
Sasuke didn't look particularly happy with the news. He sat up enough to shrug the rest of the way out of his shirt before flopping back onto his back with a resigned sigh. Naruto got the strong impression though that he hadn't done it to be suggestive but in an attempt to cool off.
"You're really are annoying, you know that?"
"And you're an asshole," Naruto shot back. "I meant what I said, asking for things won't make me think any differently about you, but I'll never take advantage of you either. Not even to prove that."
"And that's why I'm not afraid of you," Sasuke told him in a tired tone. "I guess."
"That's not really a bad thing," Naruto told him with a faint smile.
But Sasuke looked perfectly serious when he replied, "I'm not so sure."
TBC
