Anxiety.
(Chapter 13)
Steve McGarrett was driving his pick-up truck to work. He was in a very good mood. His wife's memories have been filtering in quicker than when she first got out of the hospital. Steve had just gotten done reading one the night before and already he had a new one to read. He was excited and curious to see what this new memory was.
Bailey McGarrett was sitting in the passenger's seat of the pickup truck, riding with her husband to work. She was looking out the window and feeling a bit like her head was swimming. Lately, memories had been coming a bit quicker but they were also giving her a headache. She wanted to talk to Dr. Ghee about it but did not want to stop having them. Remembering her life with Mac made her happy and she loved her husband's reaction each time a new memory was added to their book.
The McGarretts arrived at work. Steve parked the truck, turned it off, and jumped out. He was halfway to the building before he realized that Bailey was not by his side. He turned and noticed that his wife was still in the truck. She did not seem aware that they were at work. Danny had just arrived and noticed Bailey sitting alone in the truck. A few feet away, Steve was looking bemused and about to walk back to his truck.
Danny rapped on Bailey's window, startling her and causing her to look up.
"Bails, you okay?" Danny asked concernedly.
Bailey unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed her bag. Danny tried the truck door, found it unlocked, and opened it for her.
"Thanks, Danny," Bailey said climbing out of the truck.
"Everything alright, babe?" Danny repeated his concern growing.
"Do you mind if I work in your office today with you?" Bailey asked in response, avoiding Danny's question.
"Of course, I don't mind, Babe. Any particular reason why?" Danny asked, trying a different approach.
"No particular reason. Just want your company. Is that okay?" Bailey answered evasively.
"Whatever you need, Bails." Danny agreed.
Danny Williams was now extremely worried. He had only been mildly concerned before but Bailey was acting odd. Memory loss notwithstanding. He knew from previous experience not to push her. He had done it before and it never ended well. Bailey and Danny walked towards the building where Steve was waiting.
"Everything good, Danno?" Steve asked his partner cautiously eyeing his wife.
"Yup, everything is all good here. Bailey's gonna keep me company today." Danny informed his partner.
"Sounds good," Steve replied.
The three of them walked into the police department and then downstairs to Five-0 headquarters.
"Morning Bailey!" Tani called out.
"Morning Tani," Bailey called back.
"Some coffee for our favorite assistant." Lou offered walking up to Bailey.
"Thank you, Captain Grover." Bailey politely accepted the drink.
"Why don't you head into my office and get settled, babe?" Danny suggested.
Bailey nodded and walked into Danny's office.
"Is she alright?" Lou asked.
"Everything was all good when we were at home, but when we got here it's like a switch flipped," Steve explained.
"Well, something is definitely up," Danny observed.
"Hey, is Bailey okay? Junior asked, joining the three men with Tani.
"That seems to be the million-dollar question," Lou answered.
"And the answer?" Tani questioned.
"No one has it," Danny told her.
They all looked at each other worried but had no idea what to do. Eventually, everyone headed to their respective offices. In Danny's office, Bailey sat in one of his "guest" chairs working from her computer on a lap desk that Danny kept in his office for her. Danny sat behind his desk trying to absorb himself in his own work. Bailey was typing away; entering the team's reports into the system and sending any necessary information to the governor. Danny occasionally glanced up from his work to see how Bailey was doing.
"Hey, Bails?" He finally inquired.
"Yeah?" she asked in reply.
"Do you have a PT appointment scheduled for today?" Danny questioned.
"Yeah, I do. I nearly forgot, thanks for the reminder, Danny." Bailey realized looking up at her friend gratefully.
"Do you need one of us to take you?" Danny asked.
"No, Stan is supposed to pick me up around two. I can have him text me when he gets here and I will meet him outside if you like Danny." Bailey offered mindful of the discomfort her friend felt around his ex-wife's husband.
"No, don't do that. He's your friend, he's doin' you a favor, and this is your workplace too, Bails." Danny rejected the offer, though touched by Bailey's thoughtfulness.
It wasn't that Stan was a bad guy. Far from it, he was actually a really good guy. He was incredibly kind to Danny's two kids and treated them like his own. And there lay the problem; Stan was able to be there for Danny's two children far more than Danny could himself. This often made him angry and resentful of a man who had been nothing but kind. Stan was also Bailey's friend just like Danny was. He felt it was unfair and childish to ask Bailey to choose between him and Stan. It was something he would never do.
The day went by and Stan appeared to pick up Bailey. Steve saw him and said hello. He then gave his wife a quick kiss and wished her good luck at Physical Therapy. Bailey gave her husband a wane smile and departed with Stan.
Stan was driving Bailey to her appointment when he turned his head for a minute and asked, "What's up?"
Bailey sighed and said, "I've been getting back memories a lot more recently."
"Isn't that a good thing? What's the problem?" Stan frowned in confusion.
"I'm also getting headaches, honestly they're more like migraines," Bailey admitted.
"Have you spoken to Dr. Ghee about it?" Stan questioned.
"No," Bailey replied flatly.
"Why not?" Stan inquired.
"Because I'm worried that she may tell me something I don't want to hear what if she extends my desk duty or takes me off again? Or even wants to find a way to stop the memories. Or worst of all, tell Steve!" Bailey babbled anxiously.
"Whoa, whoa! Calm down, Bailey. She may also do none of those things. And as for telling Steve, she can't without your consent. HIPPA remember?" Stan said trying to calm his worried friend down.
"Yeah, HIPPA I actually remember. Thanks, Stan." Bailey snapped.
"I'm just saying you're freaking out about something you don't even know the outcome of yet. I know you're worried, but freaking out isn't going to help." Stan explained patiently, "I think the team and your husband have already noticed your moody behavior today and are worried."
"Would explain why everyone kept asking me if I was alright." Bailey agreed.
The pair arrived at Bailey's appointment. Stan parked the car, turned it off, and the pair walked in. Bailey's physical therapy appointment was typical, until the end when Dr. Ghee showed up and asked Bailey for an update. Bailey gave her one minus the migraines and the concern that they were connected to her memories. Stan kicked her lightly in the ankle. Bailey turned and looked at him. Stan gave her a look. Bailey relented and voiced her concerns to Dr. Ghee.
"How severe and how often are the migraines?" Dr. Ghee asked.
"They just started recently. They are also bad enough to make me moody and disrupt my interactions with people." Bailey answered.
"Well, moodiness and trouble interacting with people is common with migraines but what I am really asking is about the pain level." Dr. Ghee clarified.
"I had migraines before my accident and they don't feel any more painful than the ones I've previously experienced," Bailey explained.
"You're lucky then. Head trauma like the one you suffered can easily make migraines more severe. Is there anything, in particular, going on when you experience these episodes?" Dr. Ghee questioned.
"It tends to happen when I am experiencing an influx of memories or when I am trying really hard to remember something," Bailey told her.
"Does your husband know?" Dr. Ghee asked.
"No. I don't want to worry him. Bailey confessed. "He spends too much of his time trying to take care of me or worrying about me," Bailey confessed.
"Well, while I don't recommend hiding things from your husband, your marriage is your business. I do think you should tell him. Commander McGarrett appears to be extremely devoted to you and I believe he would want to know." Dr. Ghee advised.
Bailey nodded and digested what her doctor was telling her.
As to the apparent cause of your migraines, I suggest not trying to force your memories to come. The migraines should subside if you allow them to flow naturally. Which will also help when you are having an influx of them. Don't stress about writing them down right away, just allow yourself the time to experience them without stressing out. If the pain gets beyond what you are already doing to combat it I will prescribe some medication to make day-to-day life more bearable." Dr. Ghee instructed.
"Am I still on track to be taken off strictly desk duty?" Bailey asked.
"As long as migraines don't become a problem, I'd say so. But if they do, come in and let us know. It could be a sign of a more serious issue and you don't want an extended hospital stay just because you wanted to do more at work," Dr. Ghee warned her.
"Alright. I will." Bailey promised.
"Okay, then Bailey. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day and I will see you next time." Dr. Ghee said bidding her patient goodbye.
"Thank you. See you then." Bailey returned and left with Stan.
Once they were in the car, Stan asked, "Do you want me to drive you back to work?"
"I don't know. Gimme a second to make a phone call?" Bailey requested.
"Sure, take all the time you need," Stan replied agreeably.
Bailey pulled out her phone and hit the name of the person she wanted on her contact list. The phone rang three times before it was answered.
"Hey, I just got done with my appointment
….….
"No everything is fine. I'm on track to be back on regular duty, so happy about that."
….
"I was wondering if you, Steve, or the team needed me back today?"
….….
"No, everything is fine as I said. I just…"
….….
"Yes, I promise I am alright. Even though I just started working again yesterday, I need to just take the rest of the day off. Unless you think it will be a problem for the team."
….…..
"Okay, thanks. Hey, do you mind giving the phone to Danny for a minute? There's something I wanna ask him."
….….
"Okay thank you. You too."
….…..
"Hey Danny, I'm not gonna be back today. Don't worry I'm fine and Lou is telling Steve."
….….
"Breathe Detective. If you are that worried come home with Steve tonight and we will irritate him with Doctor Who. I still have a request remember?"
….…..
"I wanna take Grace out of school for the rest of the day. I know you hate that but I just kinda need some time with her at the moment."
….….
Really, thanks Danno. I really appreciate it. And yes I will make sure that dinner and everything is ready when the two of you get home tonight."
….…..
"Love you too. Bye."
"So off to get Grace?" Stan asked.
"In just one minute if you don't mind Stan. I just thought of one more question I wanted to ask Dr. Ghee." Bailey answered.
"Sick of being driven around, huh?" Stan teased.
"Damn straight. I remember how to drive and I have a valid license."This chaperoning is just Mac's overprotective nonsense." Bailey replied, laughing out loud.
Bailey called her doctor and got the go-ahead to start driving again. Bailey asked if Dr. Ghee would be willing to give her a note to show Steve as he was still worried about it. Bailey ran back into the building, got her note, and rejoined Stan in the car.
"Ready?" Stan asked with a grin.
"Yup, I just have to be mindful of migraines. If I feel one coming on no driving or if I am experiencing one, pull over and call a ride." Bailey informed Stan of the doctor's instructions.
"Alright then where to m'lady?" Stan asked.
"My car, please. I love you and I'm grateful but I want to have some independence back." Bailey laughed.
"Um, we do have a slight problem," Stan said remembering something himself.
"Yeah, what's up?" Bailey wanted to know.
"You sold your old car right before the wedding and were using Steve's truck when you needed to," Stan said.
"Well, crap. Bailey exclaimed, "That's another one for my Swiss cheese memory.".
"Don't worry I think we can fix this," Stan said.
"Really how?" Bailey asked confused.
