Ch 14 "Who Hunger And Thirst For Righteousness"
Misato was tired and, to be honest, a little drunk. She had chosen to wait for the kids to return from their night out and greet them when they returned. She should've told them to keep a curfew or something. It was already midnight, and she'd nearly fallen asleep several times on the uncomfortable dining room chairs.
It didn't help that Pen Pen was currently laying on the ground passed out on top of her feet. Keeping them nice and toasty as she rested her eyes for a second on the dining room table.
As soon as her head hit the wood, the door was slammed wide open. A frantically panting redhead came in at a mad dash, entering her room without so much as a word and loudly slamming the door shut.
"That's…probably not a good sign." The sudden intrusion had shaken the sleepiness out of her. She carefully freed her feet from the sleeping bird and grabbed another beer to wait for Shinji to give her the details.
It confirmed her worries when a pathetic-looking Shinji dragged himself through the door about 20 minutes later. He kept his gaze on the floor and didn't make eye contact with her, but she could see the red and puffiness in his face. It was obvious he'd been crying at some point.
The momentary glimpse she had gotten of Asuka before she vanished made her think the girl had seen a ghost. She'd never seen the girl look that pale. It concerned her even more that the only one crying was the sensitive boy. She'd been worried about this happening.
Luckily, it was much easier to catch Shinji before he made it to his room. After trying to get past her a few times, the boy sighed loudly and finally met her eyes.
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"I promise you'll feel better about whatever it is when you do."
"Yeah, right." The boy let out a robotic laugh and pushed past her, heading for his room.
"Shinji? Please?" She knew she wasn't playing fair when she used the puppy dog eyes with the high pitched, sweet sounding voice. She didn't have many options, and she desperately needed to find a way to help these poor kids.
"I screwed up! Okay! That's it! That's all that matters. Is that I screwed everything up, like I always do." Misato actually felt a tinge of fear when the boy snarled and bared his teeth as he slammed his palm against the wall. She'd never seen the boy this angry, face to face. She'd only ever seen a glimpse of his temper when they went against the Angels.
"What happened Shinji? I won't judge you or think any less of you. I just wanna know so that I can be there for you? Is that alright?" She took a few tentative steps towards the boy before suppressing the ridiculous pit in her stomach and wrapped her arms around him.
"I already told you."
"You really didn't, though."
"She hates me now, probably forever."
"What did you do?" Misato couldn't possibly imagine Shinji doing something out of line, even if he did Asuka would smack him around and then they'd go back to normal. This was different.
"I didn't do anything!"
"Maybe that's the problem."
"What?"
"Shinji, be honest with me. I know you like Asuka. It's really obvious. I know it's a hard thing to do, but you have to tell her how you feel. Even if it's risky, you owe yourself a chance at happiness if you can find it, keep it and hold on to it."
"I did that! That's the problem!"
"Wait, really, you confessed?"
"I don't like the way you said that."
"Well, you gotta tell me what happened! Spill!"
"I told her how I felt and then she bolted."
Misato couldn't stop herself from grimacing at the boy as she heard the news. It was worse than she thought.
"Girls, especially when they're teenagers, are impossible to understand. She was probably just surprised and panicked. I wouldn't take that as a flat out rejection."
"Really? Then how should I take it?" Misato was not a fan of snarky Shinji. She really hoped that it didn't stick for any amount of time.
"Shinji, Asuka is a big girl. She's never been afraid of speaking her mind in the past. If she didn't like you back in that way, she'd tell you."
"Do you really think that?"
She'd succeeded in preventing the boy from completely crumbling inwards. Probably moping around the apartment for the rest of the week. Not that different from usual, but still. Now she'd just have to make sure it wasn't based on a lie that would crush the boy, and this time it'd be her fault.
"Should I talk to her now?"
"I'd give her a little time, let her approach you again when she's comfortable. You don't wanna force anything."
"Thanks Misato." The warmth in the little smile from the boy made all the waiting and worry worth it. It felt better than any drug and was just as addictive.
She looked at the door of the girl she'd been avoiding as of late. She'd have to pay the piper for that. Even if she didn't want it, it was long pastime for her to step in and try and help her like she'd been trying with Shinji. It flipped her first assumptions about how to deal with the two teens on its head. Shinji solved his own problems; he just needed someone to push him along so he'd follow through instead of retreating into himself.
Asuka took a much more active role in her own self destruction. Everyone, herself included, had at some point tried to get closer to the girl and been pushed away violently. The only girl who seemed to miraculously avoid the girl's wrath and remain in her graces was Rei. Who possessed a sixth sense for disappearing the instant the girl's mood went sour. She'd watched the Hikari girl stoically staring down the girl. Standing strong even in the rare time when the redhead blew up at her. She was probably one of the few people on the earth capable of staring the aggressive girl down. She really respected that girl.
Shinji was the closest person to her, even with the constant but less frequent abuse coming from her. They shared some unspoken thing. She'd thought it was a leftover side effect of the sync training to do with their sync training. Now she was pretty sure it was just pushing them further in the direction they were already heading. Which had led it to backfire spectacularly when the boy confessed his feelings to her.
She stopped to chastise herself. She was standing outside the room of a teenage girl like it was a portal to hell. Was Asuka right? Did she really care about these kids? Was all this just so she could feel better about herself? Maybe it was, but she still wanted to help.
"Asuka? Can I come in?"
"No!"
"Are you decent?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then I'm coming in."
Rei wondered what the purpose was in mounting such a pitiful light onto the front of her Eva. It did little to help her see as she strolling through the dark corridors deep in the bowels of terminal dogma.
She'd tried several times to reach out to the presence she'd contacted inside of her Evangelion with no success. It left her feeling adrift. The iron willed purpose that had been instilled into her seemed more absurd as time went on. She knew it was real. She felt more connected to the world around her; the Eva included.
She shook her head and forced herself to focus on the task at hand, readjusting her grip on the long metal object he'd ordered her to deliver.
It took another 15 minutes of walking in near complete darkness before she finally reached her destination. The large corridor opening into the massive underground cavern she'd had her last encounter with the enemy in.
She was still there, the sharp nails impaling her palms steadily dripped dark red LCL into the underground lake beneath it. The mask covering its face didn't remove, but she could still feel its eyes tracking her every movement.
She was glad neither the commander nor the doctor had found any problems in the false story she'd told them regarding her attendance of the dance. There was some guilt for placing blame on someone innocent, but she'd had little choice. She'd been caught off guard when confronted with the section-2 reports by the commander himself.
She still felt affection for the commander. It had compelled her to tell as much of the truth as she could. Minimizing the amount of actual lying she did made it more believable and was less taxing on her psyche.
"Rei, aim for directly into the midsection, make sure it can be removed later, but not without significant effort."
"Roger." Rei obeyed, bringing up the long spear and pushing it straight through the pale white flesh until it was deeply embedded into the metal behind it.
"Good work Rei. I'll have time for us to eat after Akagi clears you."
There was no question of whether she would like to eat. It was the first time she wasn't excited for them to spend more time together.
'I apologize. I am not practiced when it comes to dealing with such matters, so my ability to console you is limited.'
'I don't expect or need it. It's my own fault things are like this. I just have to think of something to fix it.'
"I would advise listening to Katsuragi on this matter. Give it time. Being this hard on yourself now solves nothing.'
"Easy for you to say. You just want me to get back to work.'
'I have long accepted that you're going to choose pursuing this girl over working towards protecting the future of mankind. We should have time for you to do both if we're lucky.'
'I can't just leave things how they are. I have to do something, anything.'
'Be careful, you can do more damage trying to fix things than you ever did, breaking them in the first place.'
"What do you want, Misato? I could've been naked in here for all you know."
"Eh, with how you dress, I don't think it matters, besides I've already seen it all, same with you."
"I like to be comfortable! Besides, people in glass houses Misato, they'd better put down the rock."
"You're right, I'm sorry, I come in peace, I swear."
Asuka eyed the woman suspiciously as she held up her hands and plopped herself down in front of her desk, swiveling around the chair to face her.
"Well? It's late. What do you want?"
"You seemed in a lot better of a mood when you left than when you guys got back. Wanna tell me what happened?"
"No." She let a long pause sit between them as she hoped it wouldn't take much more stonewalling to get the woman out of her room. The adrenaline and fear had worn off, leaving her sore and in the worst kind of mood imaginable.
"Come on Asuka, Please? I wanna help."
"And I wanted to go to bed when I got back from a day of constant and exhausting exercise. Let's see which one of us gets lucky first."
"Shinji already told me."
"Damn it!"
"I'm serious. I know you don't trust me, but I do want to help."
"I don't need help from you! In fact, I don't need anything from you or anyone else! I can manage fine on my own. I'm not weak."
"I never said you were. Relying on others isn't a bad thing Asuka, humans are a collective species."
"Oh, listen to the anthropologist! Save the self help crap for someone who actually needs it, like the idiot."
"Shinji'll be fine. He's tougher than he looks. You're the one I'm more worried about."
"Why?"
"Running away isn't really your style. If you didn't like him, you should've just told him."
"Is that why you came in here? To tell me what I already know!?"
"Damnit Asuka! I'm really trying here!"
"Congratulations, you want a medal or something?"
Her smirk faded as she watched her guardian collect herself with a few deep breaths before continuing unphased. "Why did you run?"
"I don't have to tell you! I don't owe you anything!"
"You're right, you don't owe me, you do owe him. Yes or no, he had the guts to tell you. He deserves an answer, you know that."
She threw a pillow with as much force as she could muster at Misato's messy, purplish hair. She was already gone, and she missed. Accidentally knocking the light switch. Leaving her alone and fuming in the darkness, mostly over the fact that now she had to agree with her.
Why did she run away? Misato was completely right, not that she'd ever admit it. Her legs had moved on instinct. She'd felt such a primal fear upon hearing those words. She could hear the sincerity in them. It would take a million years for her to pick apart every unfamiliar emotion she felt during the surprise confession.
Love wasn't something you played around with. It wasn't just liking someone or thinking they're hot. It meant something. She'd loved one person in her life and they were gone. They left her alone. She'd gotten stronger since then, stronger than anyone else. Strong enough to not need anybody for anything. She'd made it here on her own and she'd make it even further now. They chose her as a pilot because she was the best at what she did. The proof of her excellence was right in front of her Akagi and her damnable stats.
Shinji had proven himself to be pretty decent company at times and had indisputable talent when it came to piloting the Eva. She had to respect him as a warrior even if he didn't respect himself as one, the idiot. They'd steadily gotten closer, but she hadn't fully realized how close until now.
They could die anytime. She'd been laissez faire with her own life, but imagining the loss of another one of the pilots filled her with dread. All of them had nearly died already before this. She'd gotten lucky for the most part in that regard. It was stupid to be worried about it now. They had to be getting closer to the end. How many stupid Angels could there be?
Why would she want this to be over? What is she supposed to do after this? Her degree has about the same job availability as philosophy or Egyptology. Practically nothing that wasn't teaching the same thing to other suckers. She'd rather die than teach. It sounded horrible. The average university student had the collective sense of a dead goldfish.
All she had was Eva. It's all she could count on for as long as she could count on things. That was why she existed. It was her entire purpose. As long as she had it, she had everything. She didn't need him for anything!
It was his fault things were like this! He just had to open his stupid mouth! They were doing fine! He had to go around and try and stick labels on everything like a spaz. It's not like we had to talk about the elephant in the room. Sure, she would've kept annoying him about it, but he could've just ignored her!
She'd been waiting for him to say he didn't wanna spend time with her anymore. Because she was an awful person and an even worse date. She'd been expecting to hear some garbage about the dance being an olive branch and how he wanted to at least get along when they worked. Everything she'd carefully planned for was now completely useless.
That was stupid. She should've seen this coming. He'd been practically erecting a billboard to communicate it to her. Her head was too far in the clouds to notice until it was too late. She can't imagine herself being some walking stereotype of a teenage girlfriend. It wasn't something she understood, nor was she capable of it.
Now it fell to her to think of some way to fix things. She'd seen the despair on the boy's face for a fraction of a second after she left. It would take divine intervention to get him to leave his room for the next week.
Hikari felt more happy than she'd been in years. She and Toji texted nearly everyday now. They'd talked for hours about everything the two could possibly think of. She didn't think anyone could talk as much as they did without getting sick of the other, but it seemed to have the opposite effect.
She felt bad spending less time with Asuka. Toji had mentioned he'd also felt bad for ditching his friends. There would be time for them later. Hikari's focus right now was on spreading her happiness to their friends.
She'd come up with a masterful scheme to get the two fraidy cats into a relationship. All it would take was a little persuasion on her end.
"Uhh, do you think we should separate? Everyone at school will know if we show up like this."
Hikari made sure to snake her fingers into the boy's own and strengthen her grip on his hand before pulling him forward.
"Good, I don't care who knows. You can go if you want."
"I'm no chicken! Let's go!"
"Hello, you've reached the number of the most handsome man in Tokyo-3. If this is about work, be sure to call back. Otherwise, leave a message and I'll get back to you when I do."
Asuka's face turned into a snarl. The last thing she heard was finger snaps over the line before it went dead.
"Damnit Kaji! Where are you!?" Asuka smashed her phone shut against the wall of the hall where she was standing. Stomping her feet and briefly considering breaking the phone entirely before cooler heads prevailed.
His stupid house was empty when she checked a few days ago. He hadn't answered the phone in weeks now. He'd told her he was gonna be busy, but this was ridiculous. She'd wanted someone to talk to about the weird and confusing and male species and it felt like she was being avoided.
Misato hadn't seen him either, at least that was what she told her. They were both a little worried about him. It wasn't like him to not contact either of us. She hated having this common understanding with the older women, but it had been comforting in a way. Whatever Kaji was up to, it must've been something important.
"Asuka! Is everything alright!?"
"I'm fine. Calm down, Hikari. I was just making an important phone call."
"Oh, well, I heard yelling, so I got worried."
"Like I said, Important phone call."
"Okay…. So, can we talk about you and Shinji?"
"Ugh, that's all you ever wanna talk about. I'm happy that you found someone you like Hikari, even if they could be outsmarted by a road sign."
"If you two put as much effort into getting along as you did into coming up with new insults, you'd probably be best friends by now."
"That's the true joy of it. I don't need to think about them. He's the only one who needs prep. I already have too many friends. I don't need anything from that stooge."
"So you say, still you know what I want to talk about."
"I'll talk to him when I feel like it. We went as friends and we're still friends. I just need a little space, that's all. We work, live, and go to school together. Cut me some slack."
"He looks sad. Are you seriously telling me nothing happened after all that dancing you did? It wasn't exactly in a private place. You had a decent audience."
"A beautiful young girl like me who can actually dance is a spectacle for the eye. I don't blame anyone for being awed by my performance."
"So absolutely nothing happened between you two after the dance? You just randomly decided to separate yourself and Shinji just happens to look like a dog who just got kicked."
"Well, when you say it like that, you can make anything sound weird, but yes, that's what happened."
"You're a worse liar than Toji."
"You be quiet! I'm a great liar. I'll have you know. Be glad I only use my powers for good."
"So you two aren't dating, then?"
"Why do you care!?"
"You know my older sister Kodama, right?"
"I know of her. Get to the point."
"One of her friends has a huge crush, and she wants me to set you two up. You don't have to go if you don't wanna, but I'd owe you big time."
"Some rando creep from her college? Hell no, I have standards."
"I know that. I don't care about this guy either, I just want Kodama off my back. Besides, this would be a good opportunity to make Shinji jealous."
"Wait? Jealous? Really? I don't care about that, but, What I meant to say was." Hikari waited patiently while the girl held her finger up and tried to put together her thoughts. "I'll accept, on one condition."
"Sure, what is it?"
"You and I are gonna have a private talk. What we discuss, you will take to your grave with a vow of silence."
"I'm not making a vow of silence, but I will give you my word. I hope that's good enough."
The redhead made sure to give a dramatically drawn-out sigh as they both shook hands on it. "It'll have to do."
Kaji was home at last. It had been nearly a month of nonstop working for him, now back from his latest trip out to his employer's headquarters. It had taken an absurd amount of extra time to ensure he wasn't detected on the way there or on the way back.
The place was exactly as he'd left it. The few personal items and furniture he kept around had a layer of caked dust that gave off a stagnant air. Otherwise, it was as if he had never left. The beer was still cold in the fridge.
It was rare when he got time to himself. It felt like years since the last time he'd had enough free time to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon. A loud mechanical ringing threw him out of his enjoyable rest. He leapt out of the couch and approached the main bedroom with fear coursing through his veins.
He was certain he'd disabled the landline in his apartment when he first got here. For the first time in his time staying here, it was ringing unprompted. He stared at the rotary phone as it neared its last ring, deciding at the last minute to pick it up and see who was on the other end.
"Who is this?"
"It is good to finally speak to you, Ryoji. I apologize if my call may have disturbed you. I had to take extra precautions to ensure we can speak freely at this important hour."
"Answer the question." He could tell he was speaking to an old man. He couldn't tell how old, but he figured at least 60 based on the roughness of the man's voice. He wasn't entirely sure if the man's voice was coarser than sandpaper or if the connection was poor.
"Where is the charm I read so much about in your reports? I suppose it is my fault for never getting the chance to speak to you face to face. I am a busy man, after all."
"You've gotta be kidding me. Is it really you?" Despite dozens of hours of digging on his parts and grilling everyone he'd met after joining the organization, the chairman had remained a mysterious and elusive figure. He directed the entirety of their operation in complete secrecy. Even his supposed second command, apparently unaware of his true identity, even the fact that he was a man, being pure speculation. Considering their enemies, it was probably the right amount of precaution.
"I am not the type to kid. I have a job for you Ryoji, the most important job I've given anyone in our organization. That's why I wanted to speak to you on a secure line, away from prying ears. This conversation can only continue if you choose to accept the mission."
"Of course, anything I can do to help. What's the job?"
"To save the world, or what's left of it, at least."
Shinji sat idling in his entry plug, waving his arm around and watching the bubble float around him as he waited for the latest sync test to finish. He didn't really want to leave, but he was bored. Without anything to occupy his mind, all he could think about was the upcoming talk he had planned with his dad. Worse still, he'd have to see him after. It was almost the anniversary. He was gonna go this time; he had to. Even if it wasn't her, that place meant something in his head. He could;t run away from there, not again.
"Alright that'll be it for today everyone, your scores are gonna be posted on the monitor. I have to check out, so you'll have to go look for yourself if you wanna see."
Shinji waited for his entry plug to slide open, watching the LCL drain below his feet before carefully stepping out, accepting a towel from one of the technicians. He walked to the locker room, drying himself along the way, hurrying to avoid the trio of female pilots heading the same direction.
He was practically running by the time he reached the last stretch. Once he knew he was alone, he quickly stripped and threw back on his school uniform, heading to the sink to wash his face. He exited by tip toeing, carefully looking both ways before beginning to walk casually.
"There you are, idiot! What did you fall asleep in there or something!?"
"Asuka? What are you still doing here?"
She narrowed her eyes at him and looked him up and down, making him immediately paranoid about what was gonna happen next. With the girl, it was always a guessing game.
"We need to talk."
"We do?" Shinji tried to think of what she wanted to talk about. Then, like a splash of cold water the past few days of radio silence from the girl after his unplanned confession, smacked him dead in the face. "Oh, yeah, I guess we do."
"About what happened…" Shinji immediately knew what she meant. He hadn't been planning for this. His mind was drawing up blanks for any sort of alternate explanation. Then his brain finally struck gold.
"Sorry, I have to get to a meeting. Can we talk about this later?"
"Meeting!? With who!?"
"Sorry, can't tell you."
"You're going to a classified meeting!? Without me!?"
"Oh yep, sorry." Shinji was really glad he'd gotten so much extra running practice in because he was using it now.
Gendo Ikari rarely had time to be idle. His schedule was constantly full every day of the week with either tasks he gives himself or idiotic commandments passed down to him from the committee. If something was important to his goals, he would ensure it got the proper attention it deserved. The moment he let one part of his plan go unobserved would be the moment it all began to unravel, all it took was one leak to sink a ship.
"Has Nevada sent us their progress report?"
"They called earlier today. I was told it was en route to headquarters."
"Did he tell you anything over the phone?"
"He said Unit-03 now only needs finishing touches before they can send it to us. He mentioned another project, he wouldn't explain it to me, all he said was it was proceeding ahead of schedule. What are you hiding from me, Ikari? I thought we were a team."
"That has not changed. You were to be informed of the project's existence when necessary. I am working on creating necessary assets for NERV's continued survival and the completion of the scenario. I will speak no further on the subject."
"Don't think I haven't seen what you've been building in the basement. Six Evangelions? Six!? What are you planning to do with that monstrosity? Are we trying to match the mass production series numbers?"
"You speak as if this would be an unfortunate circumstance."
"How does collecting different Evangelion's like trading cards help further our goal? We only need the one Eva."
"Seele has nearly completed construction of the Mark 6."
"Mark 6? I haven't seen anything about this. How did they build a new Eva series if they haven't even finished the mass production units?"
"The Mass production units are limited by our current problems with the dummy plug system. That which the committee calls the 'true Evangelion' relies on a pilot. A specific pilot, meant to use its core."
"The Sixth child…"
"Yes, the prodigal son, I expect he will come to us. The fools will be arrogant to deliver him right to our doorstep. They will regret this decision."
"Something tells me they won't have very long to regret it."
This comment was enough to force a dark chuckle out of his unwilling features. "We can only hope."
The abrupt opening of the door to the dimly lit office drew the two men from their discussion. He immediately regretted dismissing the guard stationed outside his door as the third child strode in with his head held high, but the rest of the features were barely able to hide the visible tremble in the whole boy's body.
"You again? I had assumed we would see each other in the cemetery later this week. I take it that means you have business with us?"
"Yes, kinda. Not really. Actually, this is something different."
"It's good you came here by choice. Has your 'source' given you any more information that may be of use to NERV?"
"Kinda, it's about the dummy plugs."
He was able to easily hide his surprise at the direction of the conversation while his second and command failed to. "I see, so you're aware of the dummy plug's existence. What of it?"
"You're going to want to stall development of the dummy plugs as long as possible. They'll be completely useless to you and any improvements made to it will be used directly against you in the future."
"I was aware of the system's potential applications. You have no knowledge of what NERV's goals are and I will not be lectured on what they are by a child."
"It won't work on Unit-01. She won't work unless I'm inside and piloting it."
Gendo pondered this for a moment. He'd never heard the boy speak with such confidence. It was clear he had rehearsed this, who knows how many times? Assuming he was telling the truth, then he was correct. The only purpose of inventing the dummy plug was to create a failsafe for the scenario free of human error. If it didn't work, then it was useless. The final Evangelion wasn't anywhere finished enough for it to use a dummy plug and the other Evangelion operation was inconsequential. Unit-01 could handle the enemy on its lonesome if it had to. It wouldn't be a preferable outcome, but a manageable one.
"You believe further development of the dummy plug would be working against my own interests? What else do you know?"
"Nothing that you don't. I don't think it's right to let a weapon like an Evangelion be without any human to stop it from going berserk."
"So you came all this way just to voice your moral objections?"
"No, I'm telling you, it's a very bad idea if you want to succeed. To give your enemy's weapons a way to function, you hold the cards. It's a matter of how you play them."
"My enemies? What do you know about my enemies? Perhaps my enemies include anyone who discovers more than they should know."
"If you hurt me, she won't be happy, you know that. What do you think will happen then?"
"How do you…."
"I remembered, all of it."
"I see. We have nothing further to discuss. Leave this place at once."
The boy nodded his head before quickly exiting. He was glad his visor hid most of his face, allowing the shock and dismay painted on his feature go unnoticed. He'd have to ensure he wasn't so emotional in the future.
"It would appear we underestimated your son once again."
"I am inclined to agree with you on that."
"He's right, you know, handing over our data to them now would be ridiculous. There's no way the Eva series doesn't have some failsafe that'll go off regardless of the committee's status. If it doesn't work on Unit-01 like he said, then we've just been kicking up sand."
"Call Dr Akagi. I would like to have a word with her in private."
Ritsuko definitely worked too much. She wouldn't mind taking a day off every now and then, but if you wanted a job done right here, you had to do it yourself. This was mostly because no one had come close to the level of her and her mother's understanding of project E. She'd trained enough people to put off the most meticulous tasks, but anything higher level required her.
She certainly wasn't paid enough. If they paid her for all the value she generated for NERV, then she could probably buy an entire city block for herself. Especially after Ikari called her into his office in the middle of an experiment. To forcibly direct her research and order her to spend the next week sidelining everything she'd been working on to fulfill his whims.
Maya would take years to catch up. She was a skilled student, but the amount of background knowledge necessary for this position was absurd. She'd practically needed three degrees worth of expertise. She'd only got two and only one of those was even relevant.
Now wasn't the time to worry about it. It was time for the only break she could manage to get for herself at work. Every few hours, she'd take a few minutes to walk out into the Geofront and get a few minutes to smoke a cigarette.
When she was little, she hated the smell of smoke. Her mother was practically a daily chain-smoker. The faint smell of tobacco clinging to fabric was one she'd long associated with the women, none of the pleasant memories that was certain. Her teenage rebellion was her grand plan to upstage her mother. It wasn't enough for her just to break out from her shadow, but to bury the women's accomplishment beneath her own.
"What a joke."
"Dang it! I thought you'd be working now!"
"Asuka, I'm in no mood. Aren't you sick of arguing every time we're out here at the same time?"
"Yeah, it is getting kinda repetitive, truce?"
"Truce."
Ritsuko took a moment to study the girl who'd barged into her peace and quiet. She seemed a lot less herself, more subdued than she'd ever seen the girl. Her eyes were red and a little puffy and her hair still looked damp, she'd guess from recently exiting the shower. It didn't take long for her to do the math.
"Have fun at the dance? I guess they're not that stupid after all."
"Hey, I didn't have a choice! It was fine, thank you very much."
"It doesn't look like it was fine for Shinji. His score was down and he's been wandering around the base like a frowning zombie."
"It's not my fault! This time, it was a terrible day to schedule a test!"
"Oh really? What makes you say that?"
"Well, today's the day for Shinji. I asked him this morning. You should already know that crap!"
"What in the hell are you talking about?"
"The anniversary of when his mom, you know."
"Oh, that is today, isn't it? I didn't even realize."
"Hmph, typical, at least you don't pretend that we're anything more than tools to you."
"Asuka, none of you pilots are tools. Tools don't complain constantly and make absurd demands of me. I live every day being thankful for that."
"Har Har, I'd like to see you take a spin in an entry plug. You'd realize how lucky you have it just watching us fight from the sidelines."
"I'm well aware of the complications of piloting an Evangelion, I've had to treat all of the pilot's wounds. Believe me, I have no desire to fight unholy abominations with my bare hands. We have unique skills and we use them differently."
"I guess you're right, still, if you had to choose, you'd choose being safely underground every time, admit it."
"Of course, I'm not an idiot after all. If you could choose, you'd still pick the frontline. It doesn't matter, neither of us can do anything else."
"What does that mean!?"
"What do you think? It's the only thing we have in common. Eva is all we've known our whole lives. It's all we know how to do."
"Speak for yourself. I'm a certified genius. I've already graduated from University with flying colors. I can do whatever I want."
"You are smart. Your degree is in military theory. Do you plan on becoming a military officer after this? Even you've gotta admit that's a waste."
"What's with all this talk about after this? We don't know how many Angels there are or when they'll stop coming. We could be here for another decade for all we know."
"You never know. It doesn't hurt to be prepared."
An awkward silence settled over the pair as Asuka felt her understanding of the doctor lessen and deepen at the same time. Opposites attract, she supposed, not in that way. For every difference between them, she could see a similarity. The very idea sent a chill down her spine, but she considered herself a realist at heart.
"Do you ever wonder if Eva is the only thing you'll ever be good at?"
"Sometimes. It's like quicksand. Every time I try to pull myself away, I only submerged myself deeper. I'm beginning to think if I really wanted out, I wouldn't be here anymore."
"Why would you wanna leave? Aren't you the commander's favorite?"
"Hah, I wish, I only do the work of three people and am the only thread holding up multiple pillars of this organization. Why would I be his favorite? No, he eats with his doll."
Asuka recoiled from the venom dripping from the woman's voice when referring to her newfound friend. "You mean Rei? Don't call her that."
"You can't be serious. Weren't you calling her that when you first got here? What changed? I thought you hated her?"
"We're friends now. I don't think she means to be like that. She's just weird. It's like somebody raised her in a box her whole life."
"How did that happen? I thought you were rivals."
"It just happened. I don't know. She could never match up to me. Her sync score was easy to beat. I know I could take her in my Eva if I had to. If someone's gonna be a rival, they need to be a challenge! An obstacle to overcome and an enemy to destroy! To prove to everyone and anyone that you are the best!"
The older woman let out an infuriating smirk at her obvious enthusiasm. "You wanna be the very best? That no one ever was?"
"Shut up! Who are you to make fun of me? You're just a hypocrite!"
"How am I a hypocrite?"
"Where to start? You act all high and mighty and above it all when you're just as much a mess as the rest of us! You work 7 days a week! If this city hadn't invented automatic feeders, you wouldn't even be a cat lady!"
"How do you know about Snuggles!?"
Asuka heartily laughed at hearing the doctor's name for her pet cat. "Misato mentioned it once. I didn't know about the name. Good choice."
"Blow me. If you owned a cat, you'd understand."
"Dr Akagi? are you out here?" Asuka quickly ducked out of sight behind one of the nearby trees, crushing her smoke underneath her foot into the mud.
"I'm over here Maya, just taking a minute to 'relax'".
She took the opportunity when they were both distracted and darted off into the underbrush. It was a good thing she wasn't wearing anything nice. She got dirt and stray branches all over her clothes.
She took the scenic route, being sure to air herself out as much as possible. It was surprisingly beautiful down here when there weren't any people, like an underground oasis.
The harsh tone of her phone drew Asuka out of her enjoyment of the nature. Her mood immediately soared as soon as she saw who was calling.
For Gendo Ikari, everything had been following his plan without fail. He was preparing for his latest meeting with the committee. He would be the only one not present. It would be the first time in nearly a century since the entirety of Seele would be physically all in the same place at the same time. Even Chairman Keel had wheeled himself out to the first international economic convention since the second impact.
It was too perfect an opening. He'd ran through hundreds of different scenarios in which this situation could be extremely beneficial. The committee weren't fools. As much as he loathed them, he knew underestimating them would be fatal. They'd quadrupled security with their own private forces. On top of beating local protestors into submission, it would take nothing short of deploying an Eva to get inside the building. Considering the necessity for digression, he'd be turning his organization into a pariah on the world stage.
All it would take was one small explosion and his headaches would cease to exist. He'd have to ensure they didn't use this meeting as an opportunity to scheme against him. They were planning something. They'd refused his request to join the meeting in person, forcing him to stare at the crude obelisks instead of seeing their decrepit faces.
"Ikari? Are you there? Can you hear us?"
"Ready to begin this meeting gentlemen, what is there to discuss?"
The yellow monitor to his right was the first to speak. It was one he'd never interacted with before, and he was still quite fine with that arrangement.
"We've noticed some discrepancies in NERV's expense report. Would you be willing to submit to an audit for the purpose of ensuring funds are properly allocated?"
"Of course, if the committee deems it necessary, it would be unprecedented to begin auditing any military organization while it is actively fighting for the survival of the entire human race."
"Unprecedented perhaps, but the direness of the situations only further proves the necessity for transparency in our financing. I'm sure you understand."
A loud bang rang across the communicator before he could retort. Sounding like it came from across the room. It sounded like a door being smashed open.
He strained his ears as much as he could and could pick up a familiar-sounding voice over the conference call. Luckily for him, the Seele he'd just been speaking to left his mic hot, allowing him to listen in on whatever was transpiring.
"I apologize for interrupting you, gentleman. I know all of you have lots of important business to attend to, but I can assure you this will be worth your time."
"What the hell is this, Ryoji? How did you get here!? You would dare to doublecross us?"
"I would never! I'm offended by the implication. I didn't just double cross you arrogant bastards. I triple crossed you."
"You little rat! I'll have your head for this!" Gendo visibly jumped as a deafening bang scratched across the mic and his ears. Even with the poor sound quality, he could easily pick out the sound of a gunshot.
"Easy there, Yamamoto, let me finish. You'll get your time. It was a pleasure working with you. If I had it my way, we'd be parading you around in cuffs before the legal system devoured you for breakfast. Sadly, I don't get to do things my way. I'm under strict orders about how I'm supposed to take care of you guys."
"Who sent you!? Ikari you bastard! Was this your doing!?"
"The good commander had nothing to do with my presence. Good guess, though. I'll take it that's who you're talking to. I guess this wasn't a good time. Sorry Ikari, I'm gonna be sick for a little bit. You might wanna find a new special inspector for the time being."
"Whoever sent you here to do this, they can't be more powerful than us, money, power, fame, name a desire and I will fulfill it. We cannot let anyone get in the way of human instrumentality. It is the only way for humanity's survival."
"Before I finish what I came here to do, I'd like to share a story with you all, if you'll indulge me."
The sounds coming from his communications unit had him completely enraptured. He desperately wished there was some sort of video feed so he could see the panic and terror-stricken faces of the members' last moments.
"After the second impact, the whole world went to shit. I was born in Naples, a big city in Italy. My parents had two wonderful children, me and my brother. I never knew either of them. The only thing I know now after years of digging is my father was a soldier for hire and mom was an immigrant who later became an 'escort'. As a consequence of this, my brother and I spent most of our time on the streets trying to keep ourselves fed and clothed. First it was pick-pocketing and shoplifting. We had to steal to survive! Do you know what that's like? To have so little your only choice is to take from someone else? Just to survive, it only got worse from there."
"Oh boo hoo, did your whore mother and your bastard father leave little baby Kaji all by his lonesome? I'd rather you just shoot me than listen to this crap."
The sound of a lone gunshot and a few muffled gasps from the room answered the man's words. He took that as confirmation that Seele-02 was no more.
"I might get in trouble for that. I don't care. I'm gonna finish my story now. Anyone else wanna get their objections in early?"
"We desperately needed money to not go hungry. We were already sleeping in alleyways. I'm a big kid. I've got a pretty good reputation as someone you don't wanna mess with. I met with some friends. Friends who became pretty much the new government in the complete anarchy that otherwise ruled most of Europe after the second impact."
"I started off doing collections. My favorite method of getting someone to pay was to curb stomp them. You ducked out on payments and tried to get away from us. I'd beat you senseless, drag you over to the sidewalk and force open your mouth and line it up perfectly with the bend. All you needed was a good kick, and they'd never talk or chew the same again. You'd also never miss a payment after that. I did that for the first time at 15, just a kid who was beating people half to death to provide for his family."
"It was only a year after that I killed someone for the first time. Once you're in you're in for life, it's not a social club. We were soldiers, we followed orders, the only people I killed were soldiers too. Except for one, my brother had wanted into life. The dumbass wanted to be like me, of all people. He stole one of my guns and jacked one of my boss's trucks. It was an attempt to prove himself. He only proved I was a terrible brother."
"You steal from these people you're dead. There is no exception. I begged and pleaded for him to leave with me, but he wouldn't listen. Because of the world you created, there was no school for us to go to, no police for us to call, no legitimate jobs to pay rent with. He's dead now. This is for him."
"Shoot me if it makes you feel better, but I assume you came here to kill us. You know you won't survive this. This is a room full of dead men. Nothing you or I say matters. Why bother?" Gendo chuckled at the audacity of Keele. He sounded bored and indignant about a situation threatening both his life and a lifetime of planning."
"Catharsis? I guess? Truth is, I don't have to do this, but I've always wanted to. We should've had a normal childhood. You took that everyone who survived your second impact. This is a long time coming. You're the cause of all this, so this is as close to redemption as I can get."
"Redemption? Really? You were always a dog, Ryoji. All we had to do was waggle a steak in front of you and you'd do whatever we asked. If hell exists, you'll be sitting right next to all of us in the pits. You never questioned a single assignment you got. Did you ever discover the truth, or am I going to be killed by a fool and a traitor?"
"Your plan failed Keel, you succeeded once, but not this time. I stopped you. I guess this means I won."
"Intelligence was never your strength as an operative, was it?"
"I think we can both agree on that one. Now that you've heard my tragic backstory that created the handsome, enigmatic super spy you see before you. It's time for the fun part."
"You expect me to cower!? You're nothing to me! An insect! A pest! I take shits in the morning that are worth more than your entire pathetic existence!"
"Seele-08, Dmitri Polyakov, the committee's pet Russian. For your role in the death of and the Suppression and murder of countless civilians after the fall of the Soviet Union. Your personal role in orchestrating events for your personal gain. In the process setting the average life expectancy in Eastern Europe back by over a decade. Indirectly killing hundreds of thousands more people. You have been found guilty and hereby sentenced to death." The last syllable had not escaped the man's lips before he heard another shot go off and a thud as another body collapsed to the floor.
Even if it was not his victory, someone was moving against Seele. Clearly Ryoji had been sent on a warpath with the truth revealed to him. The situation was playing directly into his hand. He didn't have to lift a finger and his problems disappeared one by one. It was convenient. In his life, nothing had ever been convenient. Whoever had managed this stunt was not to be trifled with. Anyone who'd eluded his sight and moved this close to his plans must be taken care of by any means necessary.
His position was secure. Unit-01 already had everything it needed to initiate instrumentality. With only a little more time, he'd have everything he needed to advance the scenario to the final stage. The only problem was dealing with the Angels. This forced him into a tiring dance with the committee to ensure he got enough funding and resources to stay afloat. The Angel's differentiation from the scrolls scared them into giving him enough to bankroll all of his projects. Using the leftover funds to give a substantial boost to NERV's defense's assuming the worst happened.
They'd lost their use to him, one less headache. He'd have to ensure Rei was still loyal. She was the pillar upon which all other parts of his scenario leaned on. Breaking her isolation was risky but necessary. Resisting the interference of the other pilots too much would have the opposite effect he intended. She still trusted him and believed in him. As long as he had that, he knew she would do what had to be done when the time came. He just had to prove that faith wasn't misplaced. He couldn't let any of these unforeseen circumstances disrupt the scenario. He wouldn't get another chance.
"Last but certainly not least, we have the star of our show, Keel Lorenz, the financier behind human instrumentality. Your crimes within Germany are too numerous to name. You are found guilty of conspiring to commit genocide on the human race and are hereby sentenced to death."
"I always hated you and your fucking theatrics. Do it, coward, you'll only kill a man."
"Feelings mutual, Memento mori."
Gendo caught his first glance of his former employee as he approached the video call and disabled the encryption, centering the camera on his blood splattered face. He'd already known about the man's past. It was what originally saved his life when he first caught him spying for the committee. He knew his own personal capacity for violence was high, but it was another thing entirely to witness it firsthand. Not many people could perform what was, in essence, a massacre, like it was an elaborate stage play.
Him having another employer was a surprise to him. He'd wrongly assumed the man's drive to find the truth had been solely driven by his own obsession. Someone had used this perfectly to their advantage, and he'd have section 2 working day and night to find out who was orchestrating these events.
"You're next Ikari."
He wouldn't have the guts to show his face within Tokyo-3. If he valued his life, he'd make sure this was the last time he ever heard of the man. Now that he knew the truth, however, he'd become another obstacle. Whoever had given Kaji this information had likely given it to the Third Child as well. It couldn't be the whole truth or the boy would refuse to continue piloting. It was clear that this person had a bone to pick with the committee. They must've been using the Third Child as an intermediary to get him to work against them. The only thing that was eluding him was a motive. A naïve idealist set on a mission to save the world wouldn't order the execution of a room of unarmed men in cold blood, even if they were criminals.
He had a strong sense that someone was trying to muscle in and take over the mantle of godhood in the committee's absence.
It was in vain. The committee were the only people on this planet with the knowledge and resources necessary to defeat his plans.
"It would appear our 'special inspector' has gone rogue. He couldn't have done this alone."
"You are correct, if he dares to show his face in this city again, he'll regret it. This only aids our plans. It doesn't matter who they are, nobody can stop us now."
"You're not gonna send anyone after him? People are gonna be looking for answers, that and a scapegoat. It's not every day a boardroom full of multi-billionaires gets executed."
"If he has any sense, he's already fled the country. He could be anywhere by now. We can't afford to waste manpower on hopeful dalliances when we have forces working to threaten the scenario directly. First, we must increase security at the Nevada facility to avoid losing the spear or Unit-03 before they can be sent over."
"Still feels like you're letting him off easy."
"Do you have something you'd like to tell me, Sub-commander?"
"No, I do have a question. Are you still going to visit the cemetery?"
"I've gone every year on the same day. Why would that change?"
"Extenuating circumstances?"
"No, I believe it is past time to have a 'chat' with the Third Child."
Misato had been having trouble relaxing lately. Even in a warm bath with cold beers in a bucket of ice next to her, she still felt stressed. Her tolerance was getting annoying. At this point, it was like she was drinking water. It was Kaji's fault. They'd been going out nearly every weekend and drinking like they did back in college. Problem was, as much as she hated admitting it, she wasn't 20 anymore; she was nearly 30.
Add that to the list of her failures as a guardian. Both of her kids were miserable, and she was constantly numbing herself to avoid thinking about it. She'd encouraged them to go to the dance. Misato was mad at herself for never expecting Shinji to be the one to make the first move. In her defense, of all people, he seemed the least likely to muster up the courage to ask a girl like Asuka out, but he did. She'd naively thought the shy and timid Shinji would be able to bypass the aggressive girl's defenses and help them both be less alone.
It was clear to her the girl was just scared, scared of being hurt by Shinji. Relationships were scary. She couldn't really blame her. She wished Kaji had the guts Shinji had; she wished she did too.
The bath water had gotten cold and her beers warm. She reluctantly dragged herself out. The phone started to ring, so she wrapped herself in a towel and went out to see who it was.
"What do you want?"
"Ouch, I didn't expect the frigid tone."
"Yeah, well, I didn't expect to be dragged out of my relaxing bath by a stupid phone call. What do you want?"
"To see what you looked like getting out of the bath."
She couldn't stop herself from snorting at the crude joke. "I'm being serious, Ryoji. What's up? You normally don't call the apartment."
"It's important. Our cell phones are all bugged. I can't stay in Japan. Things have gotten too hot."
"Too hot!? What did you do Kaji!? Where are you now!?"
"Somewhere safe. I promise I'm gonna come back. I swear on my life."
"You better. If you don't, I will look for you, find you, and I will kill you."
"I don't doubt it. Don't trust the commander and promise me you'll keep the kids safe."
"Don't trust the commander? What do you know Ryoji? I need you to tell me! I need to keep them safe!"
"I can't say it on here. I promise when I come back I'll tell you everything. Stay strong. I know you can do this."
"No, you're wrong! I can't do this! I'm not strong enough."
"That's not the Misato I knew at all. What happened to the girl who relentlessly bothered me until I asked her out?"
"I was not relentless, you prick. I was just stupid enough to like an emotionally stunted idiot like you."
"And whose fault is that, huh?"
Misato felt the tightness in her chest lighten enough for her to laugh, then to breathe, allowing her mind to fully comprehend what this phone call meant. "I'm gonna try. I don't really have a choice either way. Have I mentioned you suck?"
"I deserve that. All I ask is that you keep trying. I know you can do anything you put your mind to if you don't give up. When I get back I promise this too, I will say, the words I could not say eight years ago."
The line went dead. She didn't feel the phone slip from her grasp. She didn't feel the tears in her eyes, but felt them falling onto her skin.
Shinji walked past row after row of headstones. The sheer size of this cemetery always daunted him. As far as the eye could see in every direction and an endless sea of marked pillars. Each telling a small story of someone who was lost in the second impact.
Without even consciously thinking about it, he walked towards the only spot he'd ever visited. His father hadn't arrived yet. He took the time to clean up the area around the grave. Even if she wasn't really in there, it still meant something. It shouldn't be covered in dirt.
He heard the sound of an engine roaring behind him and looked to see a VTOL in the final steps of landing. The door slid open and his father stepped out. Gloved hands clasped in front of him and the visor covering his eyes refracted the sunlight and made the glass look luminescent. His expression was unreadable, as always.
The normally unbearable pit in his chest that being around the man created was now a dull ache. He felt numb. He wished this empty grave was opened. All he wanted to do was crawl into the earth and vanish.
"She's not here. Why bother keeping this spot? What if somebody needs the space?"
"It is a reminder. Time erodes and destroys everything. All that can survive is what we keep in our hearts. It was her last lesson to me, one of many."
Shinji could sense this visit was going to be as brief as all the ones in his memories. A few minutes spent staring at a grave in awkward silence before the pair split off. Not to speak until next year.
He could feel himself sinking into despair. He could always tell there was something wrong with this grave. It didn't make sense, but he couldn't feel her here. He knew it was empty. It felt like his whole world was crumbling around him while he watched. Part of him selfishly wished he'd never regained memories of his mother and losing her. Every time the memory forced itself into his conscious or unconscious mind, it was unbearably painful.
"Do you ever feel like nothing good was ever gonna happen to you?"
"Yeah? And nothing ever did. Life's not meant to work out like that. The world is a cruel and hateful place. All you can do is protect yourself and what you care about."
"If the world is cruel and hateful, then why bother living in it? If people are evil, why bother saving them?"
"Are we getting philosophical now? Because the alternative is always worse, it always has been. NERV has never been in the business of saving people."
"I thought they were created to protect humanity from the Angels? How can NERV not be about saving people?"
"Our directive is to destroy humanity's enemies. If we save people in the process, so be it."
"Is there a difference?" Shinji felt confused. It felt like he was talking to an Alien. His imposing form and dark tone did little to make him see the humanity in the man in front of him.
"Defeating the enemy takes priority over any person or group of people's right to exist. There is no room for failure in carrying out our mission."
"Can I ask you something else?"
"Fine, keep it quick."
"What was your father like?"
The unbreakable outward facade crumbled at this innocent question. He could see the barely contained rage building, and it made the man's form even more imposing as he loomed over him.
"I never met him. My best guess is that he was deceased shortly after my birth."
"Oh, okay, sorry." Shinji sensed there was more to that than he was letting on. He'd never imagined there was any subject that would arouse any emotion in the man besides his mother.
"I need you to tell me who this 'source' is. Where have you been getting your information?"
"Oh, Uh, Sorry I can't tell you."
"You are fully capable, and you will. I am the supreme commander of NERV. You are a pilot for NERV. This is an order, and you will obey it or face the consequences of insubordination."
'What do I do!?'
'Improvise.'
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."
"Try me."
"I'm….. a….. time traveler."
"I'm sorry?"
"I have been sent back in time with foreknowledge of the Angels to help defeat them."
"I've watched your combat sorties. You've nearly lost to the Angel's on multiple occasions. Do you really expect me to believe you're a time traveling Angel destroyer? Try again."
"That was on purpose. I had to pretend to be inexperienced otherwise, 'certain people' would realize something was up."
"I'm sure it was. Assuming this is true, how much do you know? How many Angels are there?"
"17, well technically 18 or is it 19 if you include everything? At least 17."
"I see. When were you sent back from if you're apparently a 'time traveler'?"
"The future."
"So I've heard, when in the future?"
"The Third Impact."
"I see, so you are aware of the existence of the scenario."
"Scenario? What's that?"
"Don't play stupid with me. I can have you in a windowless cell in terminal dogma with a snap of my fingers. NERV now possesses four operational Evangelion's and four pilots. We can function perfectly well with three."
"Dammit! I helped you out! I didn't have to, but I did! Pretend all you want that I'm a pawn, but you need me and Unit-01 for your plan to succeed. I know it and you know it."
There was a protracted silence followed by a low growl coming from his father. "What do you want now?"
"Promise me you won't hurt Asuka, or Misato. They don't deserve to suffer because of me."
"I will accept these terms if you accept interfering in my plans voids the guarantee of their safety."
"Fine."
"I must ask, Why do you insist on caring for the Second Child?"
"Her name is Asuka. Why wouldn't I care about her? She's my friend."
"Section-2 reports don't skimp on details. I'm aware of her treatment of most people, you especially. Is that really why?"
"Why do you care!? Weren't you just threatening to imprison me a minute ago!?"
The man turned his head and dismissed him with a wave. "I have business elsewhere; this has gone on long enough. Remember the terms of our arrangement. If you know of my plan, you know why I will not let anything get in my way."
There was no goodbye. His father simply began walking away. His legs began to wobble as the adrenaline drained out of his body. When the sound of the VTOL engine faded into the distance, he leaned onto the gravestone to support himself. Unloading the contents of his stomach onto the pristine and meticulously maintained grass. He'd never spoken to his actual father like that in his life. It was a strangely addicting feeling of being so close to danger and coming out unscathed.
Rei entered the elevator, moving to press the close door button, she caught a glimpse of a boy rushing towards the closing doors and pressed the button to hold them open.
"Thanks Rei. I was actually hoping we could talk."
Hearing this piqued her interest, she stared directly into the boy's dark blue eyes to signal her full attention. "What was it you wished to discuss?"
"It's about my father, actually. I saw the two of you talking."
"Yes, he expressed pleasure in seeing my increased synchronization ratio."
"So, uhh, would you say that you like him?"
"Are you asking if the commander is my friend? That is a difficult question. I feel the relationship is similar, but very much different at the same time. I do care for him, and I believe he cares for me."
"I'm sorry if it's too personal. Do you think he's a good person?"
"That depends. What defines a good person? I don't believe such moral binaries can be applied to the real world, especially Eva."
"Am I a good person?"
Rei could sense the trepidation in the question. It was clear something had been weighing heavily on the boy's mind for some time. She chose to imitate what she'd seen comfort others in a similar emotional state.
"You are kind, you care deeply for others perhaps too deeply, that is a great strength, you should treasure it." She tried to give a reassuring pat on his shoulder, but she was pretty sure she applied too much force. She'd remember that for the next time.
"Thanks Rei, you aren't just saying that to make me feel better?"
"You can tell falsehoods to improve somebody's mood? I took it as a rule that lies were generally considered unpleasant."
"You're right Rei, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up."
There was a silence as the elevator continued its final ascent. When the doors opened, she exited, assuming the conversation had ended. Warmth surrounded her hand, and the boy pulled her to meet his gaze again. He quickly retracted his hand from hers and appeared flustered by his own actions. She calmly waited for him to speak.
"Can I ask you another question about my father, Rei?"
"Yes, of course. You are to meet him at Yui Ikari's grave tomorrow, correct?"
"Yeah, I saw you talking to him and enjoying it. I wondered, what do you think of him?"
"I believe it would be inconsiderate to discuss someone when they're not present. Perhaps you could join us for dinner and we could discuss the topic?"
"You eat dinner together?"
"When the commander has time, it's become less common as the Angel war has continued."
"I don't think he'd want me there."
"Why would he not? You are related. I've come to understand that typical relationships entail more face-to-face interaction."
"I don't know. If there's anything I know about our relationship, it's that it's definitely not typical."
"You may be right, but one of you has to do something. Otherwise nothing will improve."
"I don't think it's that important right now. There still could be an Angel coming to kill us at any moment without warning. That takes focus first."
"I believe it's more important than either of you think."
When Asuka finally got to the apartment, it felt like her day could only get worse if an Angel landed on top of her. The door opened, and a wave of classical music greeted her when she entered. It sounded really nice. It was like the vibrations were reaching right down inside of her to the ache in her chest. Someone was playing a Cello with surprising skill and speed. She'd assumed she was the only person in the apartment with any musical talent. Her curiosity quickly turned into shock as she tiptoed over to the source of the noise.
There was Shinji. Cello leaned against him and held up by his body, eyes closed in concentration, facing out into the night sky. Both his hands moved in perfect coordination. His fingers dancing along the strings and the bow mournfully swinging side to side as the boy's expression darkened with the song.
The scene entranced her. Moonlight spilled in from the open window. She'd lost track of how long she'd been watching the boy play, but he showed no signs of tiring. Reaching the crescendo of a song she didn't know the name of, but something about the melody resonated with her deeply.
She felt an urge, an irresistible tug, to get closer to the boy, to feel the music closer, to see it up close with her own eyes. When the boy finally finished, he rested his bow beside him and stared blankly ahead, still oblivious to her presence.
She decided he had earned some applause and a good scare.
"Very good Shinji, I didn't know you played."
"Oh, Hi Asuka, I didn't see you there. Thank you. How long have you been listening?"
"Long enough, why? You don't want me to hear your music?"
"No, not that, it's just, the song is kinda, nevermind."
"What's it called?"
"Thanatos and some other English words, I think it's named after some Greek god."
"Doesn't sound like any god I've heard of. You sure it's not named after that Freud thing?"
"Freud? Isn't he that ancient Greek guy who killed his dad and slept with his mom?"
"No idiot, that's Oedipus Rex. It's a Greek myth. Freud is a real person. Do they teach you anything in Japanese schools? He was a foundational psychoanalyst who famously had a theory that basically said everybody wanted to sleep with their dad/mom secretly. You ask me that says a lot more about him than anything about humanity's psyche."
"What does this have to do with the song I was playing?"
"Ugh, another one of his other theories was that humanity was driven by two forces. Eros, the life drive in theory, it's the animal part of us, determined to survive and grow the species. And Thanatos, the death drive, which drives people to self destruction. He thought that everyone deep down craved death, living your life only served to limit the impulse. Famously, he also did enough cocaine to kill a racehorse, so take that with a grain of salt."
"I had no idea who that was. He sounds pretty weird. It was in a songbook my teacher brought over. It didn't have many cello pieces and no solos. I had to improvise, so I wasn't playing the same 3 things forever. I'm still not any good, even with all the practice."
"Hmph, well, perseverance wins the battle. I liked it."
"Thanks Asuka, I thought you were supposed to still be on that date with that med student?"
"Oh, you heard about that? I blew him off. He took me to an amusement park of all places! Like I'm a little kid! Also talk about creepy. I don't think he looked at my eyes for more than a minute, tops."
"Why did you go in the first place?"
"Wouldn't you like to know? Mostly a favor to Hikari, honestly. Can we talk now or do you have another 'top secret meeting'?"
"Well no, I'm sorry, I really did have to do that."
"Whatever. Are you free this Saturday?"
"Is this a trick question? You know I am."
"Shut up, don't ruin it. We're going to get dinner at 6 then going to the movies after? Capiche?"
"Oh, Okay, yeah, I can do that."
She suppressed a giggle as she spotted the boy take a section of his skin and pinch it, obviously still in disbelief. Deciding to keep him on his toes, she left, even she was able to notice the instant improvement in her mood.
She should really think these things through before she acts. Dinner and a movie? Talk about cliche. It felt weird being a girl asking out a boy, but the circumstances had damned her to it. Now she was gonna have to talk to Hikari again. To try and get some sort of perspective on what her feelings actually meant. All she'd thought to do so far was try and see how far she could stick her head into the drywall.
She examined the walls closely and realized they weren't even that sturdy. It looked like they were made of layers of paper. That explained why each room sounded like its own broadcasting station. Talk about privacy. If she listened hard enough, she could probably hear everyone else's breathing, let alone all the other gross noises people made. Especially Shinji.
"Only a country full of perverts would intentionally build walls this thin, it's gotta be a conspiracy!"
"You know I don't have a plus one either, Misato. It's really not a big deal, people do it all the time in Japan. If anything, it's a plus cause. We have an extra chair to hold our stuff."
It took everything Misato had left in her to muster a glare up at her friend. She'd just gone through a full night of fake smiling and making benign small talk. Finally, the alcohol from the wedding's open bar had done its job. The empty seat next to her was a constant reminder of the reason her day was sinking into the toilet.
She'd let herself be upset about it for a few days. After that, she'd put on a strong face for the kids and make sure they were getting along better. She didn't have time to act like a heartbroken little girl just cause some guy up and left when they started getting along.
Something was up at NERV. Kaji was looking into something. He just wouldn't tell her what, despite her insistence on the subject. Now she'd have to find out for herself if she wanted the truth.
She'd need clarification first. All information inside the entire organization was kept on a strict need to know basis. IT created a bureaucratic nightmare but ensured only those at the very top had access to anything more than basic boilerplate information.
The only people with Keycards cleared higher than her were Rits and the commanders. Considering she saw them once a week at most, she'd have to find a way to get her hands on her friend's card. If she got really lucky, she could still swipe it from her sometime tonight when she wasn't looking.
The next problem was the Magi. They were, for all purposes, big brother without the human face. She'd heard Ritsuko idly mention a portion of their processing power was set aside to monitor and report on anything in the entire city's camera system. Hyuga was her friend. She could tell he hoped they could be more, but it wasn't gonna happen. It was cruel, but she knew if she asked for his help he'd give it, no question asked. She'd need to use everything at her disposal if she wanted to have any hope of figuring out what the hell she wasn't being told.
Ugh, she'd completely killed her buzz with all the stupid thinking about work. Now it was gonna take forever for her to get drunk again. Alcohol tolerances are a curse placed upon humanity.
"I'm getting out of here. If you wanna split a cab, we can go together."
"Yeah, this was fun, but I'm exhausted. I need to go home and sleep"
"You're telling me."
Shinji tried his best not to shiver as he led the four pilots in an impromptu line as they quickly paced inside the command center.
A viewscreen descended in front of them to reveal a video feed of the Angel. It was a giant orb with white and black stripes cut in harsh diagonals across its circumference, making his eyes constantly adjust to look at it. It was slowly propelling itself forward by some unknown force and filled him with a deep sense of foreboding.
"Dammit! Why isn't the commander here!?"
"Urgent matters, according to him. Didn't you hear about what happened with the UN committee?"
"No? What? Did something happen? Nobody tells me anything!"
"Don't worry about that now, Major Katsuragi. I believe you were about to tell us about your plan of action."
"Yes, we don't know anything about this thing, so we're going to deploy as cautiously as possible. It's coming right for us and it seems to be taking its sweet time doing it. If it doesn't do anything before it gets there, we'll give it hell. Shinji takes the first deployment, then Asuka, Mari and Rei. You'll advance and engage the target in that order."
"We haven't detected an AT field from whatever this is. Even the Magi haven't classified this thing as an Angel yet. That could change at any moment, so be extra cautious."
"Thanks, now I'll go put on my super extra safe plugsuit because you warned me. When have you known anything about these things!? And why am I not getting first deployment!? That's total bullshit!"
Asuka, Language. I am your superior and those are my orders. You will respect them and you will respect us. Am I understood?"
"Fine whatever, I mean Yes Ma'am." The girl turned to face him with an expression that confounded him. "Try not to get blown up, idiot."
Shinji remembered he also existed. It had become a worrying habit of his to simply watch the redhead's mouth move as she talked. It made it harder to actually focus on the words she was saying.
"I'll do my best."
Rei had finished her daily treatments with Dr Akagi. She'd been careful to ensure that the woman had left terminal dogma and the entire area was empty before she enacted her plan.
The commander had left on business. She hadn't been informed, but she'd observed the doctor complaining about his absence. The only trace would be on the Magi. She'd didn't have any way of tampering with the logs. She'd just have to hope the system didn't flag her and she could go unnoticed.
The first step was proving the most difficult. The major wasn't in her office. The only other likely places were the command center or the cafeteria. One of which she didn't have clearance for, she'd have to do a wide survey of the whole base. Once she could eliminate most of the facility as a possible location, she could wait outside the command center for the woman to leave.
"What are you doing here this late, Rei? Don't you have school in the morning?"
Rei wasn't surprised often. This was one of those rare times.
"I was actually looking for you, Major Katsuragi."
"Rei, Remember what I said?"
"Sorry, I was looking for you, Misato."
"Why? Did you need something? You know we're neighbors, right? Anything you need just come over and knock. I'm sorry I haven't seen your new place yet. You know how this place is about free time."
"Do not apologize. I did not expect you to visit. There's something I have to show you. You need to follow me."
"Okay? What are you gonna show me?"
"Something you need to see, to help you understand the truth."
"Rei, you're weirding me out. Where are we going?"
"Do you trust me, Misato?"
There was a flash of unease across the woman's face and, for a brief moment, she'd thought her plan had failed due to an unforeseen complication. She didn't stop following behind her and she didn't slow down.
"Yes, I trust you Rei."
"Thank you. I hope you still do."
