Ch 17 Blessed Are The Merciful
Shinji was warm. The air smelled faintly of strawberries, and it was as if someone had placed a warm pillow on top of him, heavy enough to keep him snugly in place. He really didn't wanna wake up. He'd not had a single unpleasant dream over the night and his mind hadn't yet fully turned on for the day.
Sadly, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't force himself back to sleep. Reluctantly, he cracked his eyes open to see a sight that would never fail at stunning him.
Asuka was sleeping on top of him, snoring softly into his chest. He lost track of time as the steady rise and fall of the girl's chest entranced him. He couldn't believe he was this close to a girl, this beautiful. It felt like sticking his hand into a painting whenever he had the chance to stroke her hair.
A pair of blue eyes groggily opened to meet his. The soft lines of her face hardened as he watched the girl enter consciousness, her lively temperament awakening with her.
"You're awake! Finally!"
"Yeah… How long was I out?"
A few hours, they knocked you out after they pulled you out of the entry plug. Ritsuko said you were fighting the retrieval team like a wounded animal."
"I was? Sorry I don't even remember. I'll have to apologize to them personally to try and make up for it."
"They'll live. One time when they were pulling me out, I managed to get my foot under one of the grunts' masks and blasted one of them right in the nose."
"Why would you do that? They're just doing their job."
"Their job isn't to grab my ass, 'accidental' or not. He should be glad that's all he got."
"Oh, that makes sense. I didn't know."
"And now you do. So, how's your...brain feeling, buddy-pal?"
"I'm fine."
"Sure you are. For future reference, it's more convincing to lie to someone while making eye contact. I expect better from the invincible Shinji."
"I'm fine Asuka."
"We could hear you over the comms Shinji. What happened? What did that thing do to you?"
"It's okay Asuka. I just want to forget what happened. It's not important or something I wanna talk about."
"Fine, why tell me anything? I've got to get out of here before Akagi comes to check on you." The girl quickly hopped off the hospital bed. Straightening out her clothes and hair with her hands as she pulled out a small mirror.
"Asuka, wait."
He had stopped her from leaving for the moment. She was watching him from the doorway. Only now he'd no idea what to say to her.
"I'm sorry."
She left. He failed. He knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as it escaped his lips. At least now he was alone. He could think and try to collect himself.
'Hello? Father?'
It was useless. He'd known it since Rei had killed the Angel. It was just tough to admit. On top of the unpleasant memories and the excruciating pain he underwent. It was another brick tossed at him from on high, smacking him dead in the face.
His father was gone. Not his father, but a father to a Shinji. More of a father than the flesh and blood man had ever been. Even if he was a prick. He showed remorse, tried to do better. Now he could never speak to him again.
He felt an absence. Even with painkillers coursing through his bloodstream, it felt like a phantom pain in his skull. Hopefully, it would fade with time.
At least his father wasn't gone entirely. The problem with that was he needed to stop the man from ending the world before they could start chit-chatting.
What was he supposed to do now? He'd been given enough information to be aware of his Father's and Seele's plans but was still helpless to do anything against them. His father particularly had a proverbial gun held to the people close to him. Based on what he'd heard about these other men, they'd not hesitate to kill all of them if we were in their way.
He couldn't let them win. He had his Eva. If they came for them, he would fight. Kaji had vanished without so much as a word and he could only hope that was a good thing. He'd not been able to learn anything about where or why the man had left from either Misato or Asuka. He hoped he was okay, otherwise they really were all screwed.
He couldn't tell anyone else. If he told Asuka or Misato, they'd be in trouble. They'd probably try doing something to stop the man. In response, he'd move to protect the scenario. He was alone in this. Rei was too close to his father to trust. Toji and Kensuke were civilians. He had no right to put them in danger.
He would do it alone or he wouldn;t do it all. Failure was not an option. Running away would only hurt the people he cared about. His mother was right, people were waiting for him to come home. He had to ensure that stayed true.
No matter the cost.
Toji was entering hell itself. Even if she was his girlfriend's best friend, that didn't mean he had to like her. Desperate times, however, call for desperate measures.
"Is Shinji alright? He hasn't been to school in a week and he's not answered either of our texts."
"He's fine. He's just off on NERV business. I'll be sure to yell at him for not answering the phone like a normal person."
"If he's off on NERV business, how can you yell at him?"
"That's classified."
"Is it really? I don't think it is."
"That's also classified. Look, he's fine, I'm sure he'll happily rejoin your throuple soon enough."
"I have a girlfriend, Asuka! You know that!"
The girl had already left. Leaving him angrily shaking his fist at her back. Taking a deep breath to calm himself. He looked over to see his friend idly staring out the window.
"How have you been doing, Ken? I feel like it's been ages since we've had a chance to talk."
"Really good, actually! I got this woodworking kit to design a new shelf for my models and it's been surprisingly fun. It's satisfying to work with your hands and create something."
Toji had really wanted to listen to his friend's story. The entrance of a certain girl into the classroom prevented his thoughts from being about anything else. The more he spent time with the girl, the more amazed he was by the fact they were together. Truly, miracles did exist.
"Sorry, there's something I gotta take care of. I'll be back."
Her eyes met his. She had that look. He was barely conscious as he leapt out of his desk. Hikari's role as class president gave her access to certain areas of the school. Areas that no one had any reason to go to since the school was so large and the student population so small.
Of course, Hikari would never abuse her role as class president. Especially for salacious purposes. He was her new student aide, or whatever. They were just going to deliver some paperwork.
Shinji took deep lungfulls of breath as he took the short journey to the neighboring apartment. He needed to build up his courage to knock on the apartment door in front of him. He'd needed to talk to Rei. He needed to pull her away from his father, before it was too late.
"Rei, I wanted to talk with you."
"Then let us speak. Please come inside. Would you like tea?"
"No, I'm fine, thank you Rei."
"What is it you came to speak with me about?"
"Rei…do you… know what my father is planning to do once the Angels are gone?"
The girls widened in shock at his words. It was the most noticeable reaction the girl had to anything he'd said.
"Do you?"
"I do."
"Why would you lie to Major Katsuragi?"
"Wait a minute. You two have been… talking?"
"We have. She'd told me you knew very little of your father's plans aside from what Agent Kaji had told you."
"That wasn't….entirely true. Or partially. I didn't want to get Misato involved, if it was possible. I don't want anyone to get hurt, you either Rei."
"Working together would perhaps bring the end we both seek. Do you wish to stop your father?"
"What kind of question is that? I have to, everyone will die If I don't."
"You are not alone, Shinji. You can not defeat him alone, together we stand a chance."
"You don't understand. I have to do this, I have to stop him, It has to be me."
"Why? What do I not understand?"
"I don't know. I just know I have to be the one to end this. No one else should have to do it. I want you all to be safe, Rei. This is how I do that."
"You wish to save him too? Don't you?"
"I will try."
"Shinji, please listen. You do not need to face him alone. You have others willing to fight by your side."
"But you and him are…"
"I care for him deeply. It is because of that I have seen the flaws in his logic and the pain left unhealed in his heart. He needs both our help."
"Why are you telling me this? I can't do anything. I'm just a pawn. All I do is pilot the Eva when I'm told and I can barely do that right."
"You are not a pawn. The ultimate decision will ultimately lie to you. I can only do so much to get us there."
"Rei, you're confusing me."
"You must stay strong. Do not speak of our conversation to anyone. He has eyes everywhere. I believe in you Shinji. You will not fail. Now I must go." The girl gave a brief wave before marching determinedly out the door.
"Ayanami, wait." She was already gone. That was definitely not a normal conversation. He'd seen the girl slowly come out of her shell, but never expected a development like this. What were she and Misato planning? What had she told Misato? These new questions burned through him as he tried to forget and focus on his own tasks.
Shinji had brought his computer home from school in what felt like a high stakes heist. He was now searching the internet with the vague hint his friend had given him when he'd asked. He'd been trying to find the fount of knowledge that kept his friend more updated on NERV than him. To no avail.
Searching 'WILLIE' on various search engines, though the proxy Kensuke had helped him set up, turned up nothing. He'd spend hours scrolling through stupid pictures of come cartoon dog. Just when he was about to give up the search entirely, he found something.
It was an English forum, so he had to translate the posts to Japanese. Leaving much to be desired in the grammar department. It was still readable, mostly.
It was a thread discussing a recent event. Apparently a small committee of influential businessmen meeting in japan had been the victim of a terrorist attack. The name of the committee in question made his blood turn cold.
'human instrumentality committee at WEF conference in New-Osaka found dead in rogue explosive attack.'
Those were the men his father had told him were the most powerful people in the world,.That was Seele. Were they really dead? Or was this some elaborate trick? He had no way of knowing.
If someone did kill them, was it his father? It didn't seem likely. Based on what he'd been told, the two groups needed each other to continue existing, even if they hated each other. Maybe his father had lost a need for them. If someone else did it, then that was worse, someone as powerful as his other opponents that he knew nothing about. He chose to believe in the better option.
If Seele wasn't in the picture. That left his father the only person standing between the world and its destruction. He had to be the one to stop him, to end this nightmare before anyone else gets hurt. He knew what was coming, and that gave him the burden of needing to change it.
Toji was bored. Even grabbing an extra chair to put his feet up had only made him sleepier. Hikari would kill him if he fell asleep in class, so he forced himself to stay conscious. Maybe listening to his friend's conversation would help, as long as it wasn't boring.
"So, how did it work? You followed all the instructions I gave you, right?"
"Yes, and Yes. It wasn't easy, but I managed to pull up some stuff. How did you find that place to begin with?"
"A magician never reveals his secrets. I am glad to be of service to humanity's protector."
"I really wouldn't call myself that, but thank you."
"So you gotta tell me. When did you and the Red Devil start going out? I wasn't at the dance, so I'm assuming there."
"What? We're not like that! I don't know what you're talking about. Don't you wanna ask me about NERV stuff?"
"You've proven many times that I know more than you. You seriously want me to believe you're not dating? Why have you two stopped bickering on a daily basis? Explain that."
"Well, I got hurt in the last battle, so she's being nicer to compensate. Nothing weird about that."
"And the googly eyes you two give each other every other minute in class?"
"I heard that glasses! You better watch your mouth if you like the amount of teeth you currently have."
The sudden yelling awoke Toji from his slumber. To his great annoyance.
"Mind your business Red Devil!"
"Guys, can we talk about the Red Devil thing?"
"What do you mean the 'Red Devil thing' Don't tell me you're about to tell us to stop picking on your girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend! But yes, Aren't you guys getting even a little tired of that nickname? You see her every day, just use her name."
"Nope." He spoke in perfect sync with his other friend. They high-fived to celebrate.
"Guys, I'm serious. I'm asking nicely, please?"
It was those puppy-dog eyes, a critical weakness he'd not realized he'd had. Until the addition of two brunettes into his inner circle.
"Fine. We'll do it."
"Wait, I didn't agree to any-" He silenced the boy with his hand.
"On one condition. You gotta answer a question "
"What is it?"
"Are they still called brunettes if you're talking about a guy?"
Asuka gave a look to her friend to show her approval of the boy, whose idiotic question hung in the surrounding air. She'd not given the boy an answer in interest to see how Shinji would handle it while still being nice.
"You shouldn't be so judgemental. Someone as smart as you should be fully aware of the fact that there are different kinds of intelligence."
"I know there are. He doesn't have any of them." She bit her tongue before she said more. Seeing a dangerous look in the class president's eye.
"So, how are things with you and Shinji?"
"Ugh, is that all you care about? Why not ask how work at NERV is going or if I've done anything fun lately?"
"Well, how is work?"
"It sucks."
"And did you do anything fun?"
"I went to the batting cages at the mall. It was fun, I guess."
"Really? You went by yourself?"
"No, I went ... with Shinji."
"Hmph, interesting." Hikari gave Asuka that look she couldn't stand, like she knew it all. The smug grin on her face didn't help.
"I don't like what you're implying, Hikari."
"I think the only people who haven't noticed the change between you two, is you two. Cmon, you've been side-eyeing him this entire conversation. Did you finally make it official?"
"No! I have not and I will not. You're just imagining things. I didn't get much sleep, so my eye twitches."
"Seems to be twitching a lot in one direction."
"Like you know anything."
"Did you two kiss again? Is that what happened?"
"Again!? What are you talking about? We've never kissed!" It took all her self-control to keep her voice at a loud whisper.
"Asuka, I saw you at the dance. You can't lie to me, you've tried before. Have you guys been making out?" She couldn't help but laugh at the way the brunette uttered the last two words. Whispered like she was reading passages from the kama sutra.
"I'm not talking about this and if you make me, I'll fake a headache and go to the nurse's office."
"Why don't you wanna admit you're dating? You're not ashamed of him, are you?"
"Of course I'm not! Who do you think I am? He's an Eva pilot, like me, kinda. It's just….."
"It's just what, Asuka?"
"I don't know! I'm Asuka Langley Soryu! The girl who does what she wants when she wants to. I don't need to explain myself to you or anyone else."
"You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried so much."
Asuka heard a strange crackling above her. She hadn't even known this school possessed an intercom, but that's the only machine she knew of that could make a noise like that.
"Toji Suzuhara of class 2-A, please report to the office immediately."
A massive black titan hung suspended in the air. Its entire body being prevented from jostling by a series of restraints covering its entire armored surface. Carrying it was an even more massive flying monstrosity, so top secret she'd not even been cleared to hear its name. It was an impressive sight, still she had places to be and things to get done.
"Ugh! This is ridiculous! The first time I've ever waited for someone this long!"
"That's because you never waited for guys back when you could still get a date."
"Oh, shut up. I can still get a date if I wanted. Have you seen this body?" She struck a suggestive pose to emphasize her point. Quickly stopping when she remembered she was outside and at work.
"Well, the long wait is over now. We get to ride along with the convoy to Matsushiro. Sound like fun?"
"I can't wait, let's go."
"So have you told Shinji about who the Fifth Child is?"
"I tried, I really did. It's just hard. I can't lie to him about how dangerous piloting is. He just has to accept his friend's choice and live with it."
"Not my monkeys, not my circus."
"Well, technically, they are your monkeys, to use your analogy. Do you think the pilot will tell Shinji himself?"
"I doubt it. He didn't seem too enthused about the idea. He won't talk."
"There goes that. I know he's not gonna take it well. Asuka, too, those two are dangerous when they work together. I should be proud, but I've only seen them unite against me."
"It was your choice to take them in the first place. You've created a common enemy for them to unite against. You wanted them to get closer, and I'd say you succeeded. I'm sure he'll be fine. Even he'll have to see the reasoning in having this many powerful war-machines negates a lot of the risk of piloting."
"5 Evangelions, with that kind of power, you could conquer the entire planet."
"I think this pilot will be an excellent addition. He's not the brightest, but he's got a good spirit."
"I never thought I'd hear you say something like that. Have you finally gone soft?"
"Shut up. Do you know why he ultimately agreed to pilot?"
"I assume you're gonna tell me."
"He said he wanted to protect his friends and his family. That if he had the chance to help people and refused it. It would be the same as him killing or hurting those people who got hurt by the Angels. His little speech inspired me, he's got heart, for a kid."
"Is that what we're really doing here? Protecting people?"
"I don't know what you're talking about. NERV is all that stands between humanity and total annihilation."
"Sure, but is that all it does?"
"Be careful Misato, there's nothing to be gained by going down that path."
"Nothing to lose but our chains. You know the old saying that the truth will set you free?"
"I do, and I've found it to be nothing but a lie."
Shinji knew who the pilot was, or who it was supposed to be. Now that he'd learned of its imminent arrival, he made preventing that his biggest goal. Talking to the boy in question, however, proved difficult. He'd been distant and more than a little temperamental since they called him to the office and Shinji assumed made him a pilot. The boy was intimidating when he chose to be.
It was a lame excuse. The truth was, he'd no idea what to say to change his mind. No matter what, it would be hypocritical of him. He pilots because he has to, but Toji has a choice. He shouldn't be at NERV.
"So I heard they sent another Eva over to NERV. Have they told you who the pilot is gonna be yet?"
"No. I'm sorry. They haven't told me anything."
"I figured. They probably already picked it. They're really missing out on a prime candidate. Don't you think I'd make a good pilot?"
"I don't know what makes a good pilot, but I don't know if it's worth being one."
"It can't be that bad over at NERV. At least you get paid. That's pretty nice."
"I guess it has its moments."
"Say, where's Toji? I saw Hikari go with Asuka, and even he's not lovesick enough to eat with those two."
"I don't know. I haven't seen him."
"He forgot his lunch. Toji the stomach, forgot his lunch. I can't believe it."
"He has been acting weird lately. I'm sure he'll come back for it later."
"Yeah, I'm guessing he hasn't told you anything either. He really shouldn't bottle up his emotions like that. It's not good for him."
"You're right. I hope he'll be honest with us about what's bothering him."
"Hah, like you're one to talk."
Toji stood alone on the school's rooftop. It was nice, quiet, and peaceful. You could see out into the mountains and forests in the distance and, combined with the view of the city itself, it was picturesque.
He'd needed time away from all the people in school. His thoughts had been so muddled, it felt like time was racing past him.
He was an Eva pilot now. There was going to be a test, then they were going to train him and when it was all done. He'd be out there fighting the Angels instead of cowering inside an underground shelter.
Toji felt eyes on the back of his neck. He turned around to meet the red eyes of the girl silently observing him.
"How long have you been standing there?"
All the girl did was shrug. Her eyes had a depth to them. He saw curiosity mixed with a knowing look of a pity.
"You already know, don't you, about everything?" This got the girl to nod. At the minimum, confirming his suspicions.
"Are you gonna tell them?" She shook her head at this.
"Should I?" She only shrugged.
"Asuka will be mad, but Shinji, do you think he'll be mad? Sad? Disappointed? I have no idea." She shrugged her shoulders again. He realized her eyes spoke much louder than the girl herself.
"I know, you're right. There's only one way to find out. Isn't NERV supposed to tell them, anyway? I'll just wait until they do that. I don't wanna ruffle any feathers if I don't have to."
The girl nodded her head at this. He didn't know what that meant, but decided to take it positively.
"This was a really good talk, Ayanami. I gotta get back to class and eat, or honestly, I think I might starve."
Asuka had just finished her enjoyable breakfast and was finishing her morning routine when an unfamiliar sight greeted her. It was her guardian, awake and not hung over. Already dressed for work.
The woman looked ready to leave before nearly running right into the idiot, nearly giving him a concussion with her obnoxiously large chest.
"Oh, sorry Shinji, I didn't see you there."
"It's okay Misato. I actually wanted to ask you something. Are the rumors about Unit-03 arriving in Japan true?"
"Yes, we're going to be testing in Matsushiro. I'm gonna be gone for 4 days. I'm trusting you guys by leaving you alone. So no hanky-panky, alright?"
"Misato!" She'd regretted listening in on the conversation. Of course, that's what she'd think of. Then again, it wasn't the worst idea she'd ever had. They would be home, alone.
She shook her head to clear the stream of perverted thoughts entering her mind. Instead, focusing on the other part of the statement that intrigued her.
"Have they picked the pilot for Unit-03 yet?"
"Yes."
"Well! Spit it out. It's not another foreign weirdo, right? Please, anything but that."
"No, it's not 'another weirdo'. The pilot for Unit-3 is…."
The doorbell ringing interrupted them. Whoever it was immediately got on her bad side by holding onto the button much longer than was necessary.
"Kensuke!? What are you doing here?"
"Major Katsuragi, I've come in my hour of need to ask for your help. Please! You've just got to choose me as the pilot for Evangelion Unit-03! You gotta!"
Shinji had 4 days, actually more like 3. He had to talk to Toji. Putting it off for this long only made it more difficult. He still didn't know what to say, but he'd learned he had a surprising knack for improvisation when he really needed it.
Toji had been absent from school that day, which really worried him. That he'd already left for NERV and he'd screwed up already. Shinji had to go to the boy's house. He'd never been, and it felt rude to intrude so suddenly, but time was slipping away from him. He had to act fast.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Uhh, I have to go talk to Toji. I shouldn't be long. Do you want me to pick up anything while I'm out?"
"Don't try to distract me. Did you forget phones exist? Why are you really going out? Do you just not want me to hang out with you and your little friends anymore? So now you have to sneak out."
"No! It's not that! It's something important we need to talk about that can't be discussed over the phone."
"You're not gonna get away with being that vague. What are you hiding?"
Shinji weighed his next actions carefully. There were two options: tell the truth and Asuka would be mad, or say nothing, still making her mad in the process. He decided on the quick and relatively painless method.
"Toji is gonna be the pilot for Unit-03." As soon as the words left his lips, he was already out the door, rushing to get to the elevator.
"WHAT!?"
Once he'd succeeded in his thrilling escape from Misato's, he encountered an additional problem. He hadn't the faintest idea where Toji actually lived. Luckily for him, he knew someone who did.
"Hey Hikari, it's Shinji. Sorry for disturbing you."
"Oh hey Shinji, what's up?"
"Do you know Toji's address? I need to talk to him about something."
He scrawled the address onto a scrap of paper he'd brought with him.
"Thank you so much, Hikari. You're a real lifesaver."
"Happy to help Shinji. What did you wanna talk to Toji about? If you don't mind me asking, of course."
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Thanks again."
"Is it about Asuka? If you ever need more advice for dealing with her, I might've come up with a few new tips."
"Wait! You knew I was talking about Asuka!?"
"Shinji…."
"Sorry, I'm going through a…. Tunnel. Bye" He forcefully snapped the phone shut. Furiously shaking his head to dispel the blush that had tinged his cheeks.
The train ride to Toji's wasn't too long. His anxious thoughts made the process seem eternal, but he kept a good track of time. If he didn't keep true to his word, Asuka would have his head.
It took a considerable amount of walking from the train station before he finally arrived at the address Hikari had given him. He triple checked the number before approaching the door. Tentatively pressing his finger on the doorbell after psyching himself up for a minute.
It was only a few moments before the door swung open. Revealing a preteen girl whose face comically transformed from an annoyed frown to an ear-splitting smile.
"Shinji! What are you doing here?"
"I actually need to talk to your brother. Is he home?"
"He's in his room. I'll get him for you. TOJI! GET DOWN HERE! NOW!"
"Oh, well, there's really no need to yell."
"He's practically deaf. If you're any quieter, he'll either not hear you or pretend he didn't."
Within a few seconds, the boy in question arrived, feet thudding heavily down the stairs above him.
"What do you want!? I was busy!"
"Look for yourself!"
"Shinji? What are you doing here?"
"Hey Toji, sorry to bother you, but it's important. Can we talk?"
The taller boy gave him an appraising look when he finally arrived. "Let's talk out on the front porch."
The two of them moved outside, with Toji sitting on the stoop outside his house and beckoning to the space next to him.
"So what's up?"
"I know Toji."
"I figured that's what this was about. Sorry I didn't tell you myself. I regret it. What was I supposed to say? What is there to say? It just is. I don't know whether to call it good or bad."
"You can't go through with it."
"What do you mean I can't? I thought you'd at least be thankful for the extra help."
"We don't need help, Toji. We already have 4 Eva's and a fifth won't change anything. It's too dangerous. You can't risk yourself like that."
"It's my life. If I want to put it in danger, I will. How do you have any right to tell me this? Do you not think I'm cut out for being an Eva pilot?"
"No Toji. I don't think that. It's just-"
"It's just what!? They asked me! You know I'm not like Kensuke with this stuff. If I have the chance to help people, I have to take it. It's not my choice, it's my responsibility."
"You can't! Don't you get it!? You'll get yourself hurt or killed. What would Hikari do then? What about Sakura? What about me and Kensuke?"
"You're such a hypocrite! You and the other pilots risk your lives with every Angel attack, but when I do it, I'm being stupid and reckless!? Is Asuka getting a similar speech about her piloting? Or Rei?"
"They didn't have a choice, you do! Nothing good will ever come out of piloting an Evangelion. They bring only pain and misery wherever they go. I hope to never see one again once this is all over. Please don't do this to yourself."
"I'm sorry Shinji. I have to do this. You don't know what it's like being in the shelters. At any moment, it could collapse and you'd be buried alive with hundreds of other people. I want to fight, I want to protect the people I care about. That's my decision."
"Why?" Shinji felt desperate. He'd expected his friend to be stubborn, but not like this.
"You have to be special or rare or whatever to pilot an Eva. That means not everyone can do it. If an Angel shows up and I could've stopped it by piloting but didn't. It's my fault it happened."
He'd not expected to hear reasoning similar to his own thrown at him. Toji was right. He was a hypocrite. There was nothing he could say. "But…but… you'll die. Please Toji, you have to trust me. You can't go to that test. If you wanna be an Eva pilot so bad, then so do it. This test is dangerous. Just wait it out and go back when they reschedule."
"Shinji. Everything's going to be fine. I understand that this comes from a place of love, but you need to back off. I've already explained my decision to you. Don't worry about stuff like that. Nothing can harm the invincible Toji!"
Shinji sighed deeply, not willing to move his gaze up from the floor as he felt shame burning his insides. He'd failed. Toji was going to get hurt because he hadn't been able to stop him.
"If I can't change your mind, then I'll leave. I'm sorry."
If his father had still been here, maybe he'd have known some alternate method of delaying the test or forcing the response he wanted from Toji. Then again, considering the boy's stubborn nature, he should've known it was a fool's errand to begin with.
Maybe his father had been wrong. His information had shown its fallibility in the past. Maybe this time he'd been entirely off the money. Maybe the test would go fine and he was worrying about nothing.
Then again, he'd been right about the pilot for Unit-03. All he could do now was hope the worst didn't happen. It was all he could do now.
Asuka was waiting to ambush Shinji when he returned. Her patience, however, was running out, bringing her to the window to try spotting any sign of the idiot. It was already too dark to see anything in the city below.
Footsteps outside the door drew her attention, and she quickly returned to her previous waiting stance. When the door opened, her original plan fell to pieces.
It was clear the boy had been crying. The only light in the apartment was by the entrance. Illuminating the boy's red and puffy-looking eyes and glistening cheeks. Now what was she supposed to do? If he turned on the light, she would be caught red-handed creeping in the dark.
She could approach him, which would inevitably turn into a conversation. One she was not prepared the slightest. It felt worse to do nothing, which was what she ended up doing. Silently watching the boy slink off to his room in the darkness.
Without even realizing she'd wandered up to the door of the boy's room. She pressed her ear against the crack in the door, straining to hear inside the room. It was silent. Her hand rested on the door.
This was stupid. She'd been inside this room plenty of times before. Why now? Was her hand trembling? Why did it feel like she was trying to cross this impossibly large divide? It didn't make sense. She'd been in this room plenty of times before, not often, but often enough.
Her hand twitched, forcing the door to crack open. She cursed her clumsiness and committed. Sliding the door open and snapping on the lights in one motion.
"Asuka?"
"Who else would it be, idiot?"
"Why are you in here?"
"You can't drop a bombshell on me like that and leave! How the hell did you figure out who the Fifth Child is? And what the hell did you two just talk about?"
"I heard it from my father."
"Really? That jerk won't even give me the time of day, but he'll give you info like that. This entire organization is ridden with nepotism at the higher levels. Even Akagi only got her job because of her mom."
"What about your mom? Did she work at-"
"Of course she did! She was one of their best scientists. The best probably, if it wasn't for her, my beautiful Unit-02 would've never been completed."
"What happened to her?" It was a tough question, one he deserved the answer to. She knew about his mom and psycho dad. It was only fair.
"There was an experiment. It went wrong." The topic brought painful memories. It took everything in her to tell him that. She couldn't, she wouldn't, she was past it, it didn't bother her anymore. She just didn't like talking about it.
"What was she like? Do you remember?" That wasn't a question she'd expected. It sparked happier memories, ones she'd used to comfort herself many times before.
"I remember parts. She was a fantastic cook, my grandmother was too. She was smart, strong, and successful. If she put her mind to it, she could do anything. She was amazing." She felt her lips curl up as the memories took form in her head. Opening her eyes, she saw the boy on the bed giving her a pained look.
"Asuka, there's something I have to tell you." The boy's tone worried Asuka. It looked like the boy was either constipated or had to tell her something.
"You could've already told me by now! I know, our parents each had similar accidents."
"It's not that. When I was in that Angel, I nearly died. The life support had run out and I couldn't breathe the LCL anymore. When I was unconscious, my mother was there. I saw her, I talked to her. I know it wasn't my imagination, it really was her Asuka."
"Your mother? Inside Unit-01? What are you really trying to say?"
"I don't know. Haven't you felt it? That warmth that embraces you every time you're in the entry plug. Like there's someone there, with you"
Asuka knew exactly what he meant. She'd been in that entry plug since she was little and she'd always felt something. Defining it had always been impossible. She'd not thought to ask her fellow pilots if they'd experience something similar. Could it really be her?
It was warm; she knew that. It did comfort her. Had she been watching her this whole time? That meant she wasn't alone, she'd never been alone. Her mother had never truly left her.
"Oh my god."
"You can't let NERV know that you know. Especially Ritsuko or the commander. They're the ones keeping it secret."
"So that's how we're able to connect to the Eva's? Mein Gott."
"I know, it's weird. I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel about it."
"Those bastards have known this whole time and didn't tell us! Do you think Misato knows!?"
"No, I haven't told her either. It's not her fault. They don't tell her anything."
"I'm sorry, but your father is a real piece of work. This pisses me off."
"Trust me, I know."
Do you think... I could talk to her?"
"I don't know how any of it works. It felt like I was the Eva. I can still sense her when I'm piloting. It's like she's just beyond my reach whenever I try to contact her."
"Why would the commander lie about this? Do you think it's the same for all the Eva's?"
"I don't know. It's a reasonable guess to make."
"This is insane! I thought the Eva's were mindless machines. Weapons to destroy our enemies! If that's the price of an Evangelion, then it's too high! Do you think… they knew? Before they went in?"
"I don't know. I didn't think to ask. There were so many things I didn't get to say."
Asuka understood the feeling deeply. She had nothing to say. The boy had rendered her speechless. Her genius brain was connecting the many strange coincidences with her Eva that were now all aligning.
"Asuka, I'm worried about this test with Unit-03."
"Don't worry, idiot. Your stooge friend is in expert hands. He's gonna be fine. Even if that Akagi is a lying Hure! She's the best at what she does."
"I know. I just have this bad feeling in my gut. If something bad happens, will you promise to help me save Toji?"
"Sure Shinji. In the hypothetical scenario you just made up where he's in danger. I'll help out your stooge friend, more for Hikari's sake than anything else. She can't get enough of that idiot for reasons I don't think I'll ever understand."
"Thank you Asuka. I really appreciate it."
"Don't mention it. Now, are you just gonna sit here and mope all day or what?"
"Oh well, I don't know. Isn't it late?"
"It's hardly past 6, you're not a farmer, Shinji. I think you'll survive staying up past sundown."
"You're right, this room is … depressing sometimes. But what should we do? We're all alone, so there's not much to do. I guess we could eat. Are you hungry?"
"This is why I call you an idiot. You do realize that, right?"
""What? What did I say!?"
"Wanna watch a movie Shinji?"
"Yes." Asuka giggled at the boy's near-instantaneous response, his eagerness mirroring her own. She knew how to play it cool much better than him. Not the easiest thing to do when you're trying to send signals to someone who might as well be from another planet.
"Then quit moping and come on. I wanna watch one of Misato's VHS's, I can't stand commercials. Hopefully, the ancient piece of junk still works."
"What should we watch?" Asuka plucked a VHS case at random from Misato's disorderly pile next to the TV.
"Ha, like you care." She patted the spot next to her on the couch. The boy sat down next to her. She made sure to keep their bodies in constant contact. Considering how clueless he was, she had to practically put up smoke signals for him to get what she wanted.
Asuka really was losing control. It was addicting, the warmth of another body. The sensations of being this close to another person physically and emotionally. The longer she went without, the more desperate the craving became.
It was an escape. There was no stress to be found when it was just the two of them like this. No competing sync scores, or stolen Angel kills. None of the painful memories of her past could get to her then. She was free from burden, responsibility, from being Asuka.
What was he getting out of this? He was a boy, obviously, so he enjoyed the act in and of itself. He said that liked her, no, actually, that he loved her. She'd said nothing. Was she using him? Was it wrong for her to do this if she didn't have any idea of what she felt?
The questions continued to pile up in her brain. None of it was enough to break her mouth off his.
It was two days now until the test. That was the first thought that greeted Shinji upon gaining consciousness.
There was nothing more he could do to stop Toji. Misato and Ritsuko wouldn't postpone the test and he can't stop Toji from going. Now he needs to be ready in case the worst happens, if he's in danger. He'll have to rescue him. He already has a half-baked plan to do it."
Yesterday had started out terribly but ended nicely. He liked not having to think about stuff, to just focus on the moment with Asuka. It was a very pleasant moment.
After breakfast, he felt lethargic. His plan was to laze around in his room, worrying until it was time for the test. He was finishing up the dishes when he heard a knock at the door. He exchanged curious glances with Asuka about who it might be before the girl gestured at him to get it from the couch. Returning to her magazine.
"Rei?"
"Hello Shinji, I hope you are doing well this morning."
"This is the first time you've come over. What's up? Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing is wrong. I am calling to ask if you would be willing to meet me and the commander for dinner?"
Shinji's mind froze. He heard the words, but they didn't align in his head. He could see Asuka watching him curiously from the corner of his eye.
"Tonight?"
"Yes, it will have to be inside of NERV. I am planning on preparing most of the food myself, so I'll begin preparation shortly."
"Really? I didn't know you could cook Rei."
"I do not. I do, however, know how to read and the recipes I have found are very descriptive."
"If you need any help, just let me know and I'll come over. We are neighbors, after all."
"While I appreciate the gesture. I wish to learn by doing. I don't think it will be necessary."
"Oh, well, good luck! I can't wait to see what you make."
"Thank you. Speaking about this has made me eager to start. If you'll excuse me."
"Rei wait, do you think… I could bring Asuka with me?"
"What!?"
"I suppose it shouldn't be a problem." The girl left with a quick wave.
"Why the hell do I have to go to that stupid dinner? He's your father, isn't he?"
"Because you're my friend?" The redhead barged past him into her room, grumbling incoherently underneath her breath. All he could make out were the few foreign curse words he'd learned from the girl.
"Fine, now I have to figure out what to wear. I'm not letting Rei show me up. She has surprisingly good taste in fashion. Because of my influence, I should remind you."
"I don't think she'll do that. It's not that formal, so no need to overdress."
"I'll overdress if I feel like it!"
Gendo sat alone. His eyes tracked the movements of a young girl as she delivered a steaming pot of noodles onto the table before them. The smell was breathtaking. He'd not had a home cooked meal in well over a decade.
"I take that to mean Shinji will be arriving shortly?"
"Yes, the Second Child will be coming as well."
"I see." The girl had already gotten him to agree to this despite him knowing it was a waste. Even after all these years, it was still hard to look at that face and tell her no.
He silently watched the girl as she finished setting up the table. Footsteps echoed in the distance, signaling the arrival of their other guests.
"Ah, I will go retrieve them. I do not believe they're aware of where the dining room has been placed." All he did was nod at her.
"You seriously eat dinner here? It's so…creepy."
"I never liked it down here. It's too cold."
"Perhaps next time it would be better to hold a dinner like this outside of NERV."
"Really? You figured that out after we walked and took an elevator down to this place?"
"My apologies. I was only thinking of inviting you to an existing tradition between me and the commander. I had not considered the logistics behind transporting warm food deep underground."
"Whatever. Let's get this over with." He felt a momentary burst of satisfaction at the way the girl was obviously shocked by his presence. Hey eyes widening into comically wide saucers.
"Father."
"Shinji." The boy too afraid to meet his gaze when he'd first arrived no more. The boy before him looked worn out, tired. The bags under his eyes mirrored his own. He looked past him, a vacant look that he found unsettling.
"What did you make, Rei? It smells incredible."
"I prepared Yaki Udon with tofu and vegetables." Gendo couldn't help himself from salivating as the fresh noodles were each placed onto their plates. He maintained control, eating slowly to get the most out of the flavorful dish.
"This is really good! You lied Rei, you told me you couldn't cook."
"At the time, I was telling the truth. This would be my first time purchasing ingredients and cooking them. I would still not consider myself a 'cook' yet."
Gendo kept his gaze on the blue-haired girl as he ate. It was plain as day to him that the girl enjoyed her time with both children. Most of their dinners were eaten in silence, with brief conversations sparsely throughout. Those were transactional. Their purpose was merely an exchange of information, nothing more. This was different.
As long as she stayed loyal to him, she could be happy. She deserved whatever form of happiness she desires. She never asked to be brought into any of this. He'd made that choice for her.
"Are you enjoying the food, commander?" Even with his visor, it still felt like the girl's piercing red eyes looked right into his own.
"It is more than adequate. Thank you Rei."
Silence returned to the four of them. He'd nothing to say. If the boy engaged him in conversation, then so be it. Rei seemed to sense this. It was clear who she was imitating when she tried to glare at him. He'd not expected the girl to actually force him to be the one talking.
"Shinji." This was ridiculous. He was the supreme commander of NERV. The most powerful man on the face of the earth, with a small army of unstoppable death machines at his beck and call. He would not be ordered around by a teenage girl's whims, regardless of who she reminded of him.
"Commander, I believe you were about to ask Shinji how he has been doing?"
"Yes. Has your condition improved since your encounter with the Angel?" The words came out with considerable strain.
"I'm fine. I can still pilot if that's what you're worried about."
Silence reigned over the impromptu dining room once again. It was a small trifleance to ignore that Second Child's hateful glare. He could imagine why she wasn't particularly fond of him, nor did he blame her for it.
Their food was nearly complete, and they'd hardly even managed to make small talk. Proof that this was a waste of time, as he'd first assumed. Hopefully Rei would say that and stop her insistence on the subject.
Then again, having the pilots here presented an opportunity to address an issue left alone for too long. He needed to assert to his son that he was still the one with all the power, that he had control. Something the Third Child did not possess.
"It has come to my attention that the nature of your relationship with the Second Child has progressed significantly. Should this come to affect either of your ability to pilot, this will have immediate consequences. Am I understood?"
"Yes sir." Threatening the girl's pilot status was a simple and effective tool in maintaining control over the tenacious girl. She folded immediately. It was almost comical to see the normally loudmouthed girl practically mute.
"Remember what we talked about, father?"
"Of course I remember. In no way was that part of the deal. I intend to stand by my word and nothing else."
"Fine, whatever. It's almost dark. We should leave. Thank you so much for the food Rei. Do you want to walk home with us?"
"A Section-2 car will take all of you home when you reach the surface. Do not forget your leftovers, Rei."
"You may keep it, commander. I can purchase another cooking device like that also, so do not concern yourself with returning it."
"I see, thank you."
Rei followed behind the already vanishing pilots. Bidding him a goodbye with a smile that made him feel less pessimistic about the entire evening.
It had gone better than he'd expected. They'd not ended up nearly exchanging blows or getting into a screaming match. It was clear to him that the presence of the Second Child bolstered the timid boy. He'd seen the indignation as soon as he saw him threatening what the girl valued most.
His initial assumption was that the boy had latched onto the first feminine body, willing to give him the time of day. Even if that meant enduring endless torrents of verbal and physical abuse. There was something more. The boy clearly valued the girl a great deal, perhaps more than even himself.
A fool, his emotional volatility could bring his scenario to ruins. It was too early. He no longer doubted that any move endangering the Second Child would bring immediate retribution from the boy. He didn't seem scared of him, not as much at least. That was an error that needed to be corrected.
His scenario required control. He would maintain that control at any cost.
Ritsuko paced around the testing facility at Matsushiro. Ensuring everything was running correctly. This was the fifth Evangelion they'd be testing. At this point, it was routine. She hardly needed to micromanage her crew anymore. Besides a few programming issues that she could simply handle faster than anyone else, all she'd had to do was watch.
It felt nice to actually supervise for once. It gave her a good feeling about the test. Unit-04's test had been a breeze. This wouldn't be any different.
"How are we looking?" She looked up from her computer and graciously accepted the cup of coffee offered to her by her friend.
"Better than I hoped. We should be done in time for lunch if things keep going at this pace."
"Good, I'd hate to keep him stuck waiting there any longer than he has to."
"Speaking of our new pilot, have you told the others yet?"
"No, I haven't. I'll do it after the test, I've been busy. Things have been peaceful at the house for once. I don't wanna be the one to disturb it."
"Haven't we all? It's your choice. I don't care. It'll be awhile before we can get him out of the testing bay, but we should be able to start the activation if you wanna let our star know."
"How are you feeling, Toji?"
"Bored! Can you turn on some lights in here or something? It's dark."
She giggled along with her friend at the boy's attitude, grabbing her own comm to join in. "Don't worry, the lights are about to come on. Remember to breathe in the LCL in case you've forgotten from last time."
"Ew! That stuff tastes terrible! You really make people swim in that stuff for hours?"
"We all have to make our sacrifices to help defeat the Angels."
"You're right about that, Misato. It's time. Let's start the test."
When Asuka woke up, she immediately noticed something was wrong with Shinji. He'd been more of a nervous wreck than usual this whole weekend. Now that it was over, he seemed worse. She'd not expected him, of all people, to take the news about Unit-03's pilot worse than her. He was his friend, after all.
Her plan to improve the boy's mood had worked for a time, but it was clear there wasn't any lasting improvement. Although it was hard to regret something, she can still remember enjoying it very clearly.
It had the same effect on her that she suspected it did on him. Something had changed between them the moment they kissed each other with real purpose. It was intense, but that made the contrast of its absence all the more unbearable.
Eventually you had to quit mashing faces and go outside, to the real world. Where even holding hands would turn her into a public laughingstock. She'd spent months telling everyone, including the boy himself, that she was the best, and he was a coward and a pervert. Unworthy to even be graced by her presence.
She'd not be made to look like a hypocrite, not without a fight anyways.
"We already left early, Asuka. There's no need to rush the entire way to school."
"I guess you're right. I'm in no hurry to listen to the most boring man on earth lecture about the most boring topic ever devised by man."
"Why do we even go to class? Have you learned anything from one of our teachers' lectures?"
"Besides learning how to sleep with my eyes open? Nothing, it's more about the social aspect I imagine. Which is the part I'd be perfectly fine without."
"Yeah, it'll just be me and Kensuke…"
"Have fun with that!"
She spotted a familiar pair of brown pigtails and ran ahead. Giving the boy a wink before she left to keep him on his toes.
Shinji's entire day felt like he was standing on a landmine and couldn't get up. He'd been ignoring his other friend for most of the day, his eyes constantly drawn to the window outside. Class felt even more tedious today.
"Today's the day they're finally testing activating Unit-03? isn't it?"
"It is."
"Toji's absent today. Think he's the pilot? He'd tell me if he was, right? Or at least one of us."
The mention of the boy's name instantly darkened his mood, trying to even not think about it was pointless. He needed to be ready in case something went wrong. Then again, he didn't know what time the test was being held. Maybe it was already over and there had been no problems.
The sound of an explosion in the distance crushed his hopes up into a fine powder.
"Did you hear that!? That came from the direction of Matsushiro! Do you think that….."
His worst fears were confirmed when the phones of the four pilots all went off at once. Shinji pulled out his own as he got up towards the door.
"Damnit!" Before he could stop himself, he flung the plastic brick with all his might at the solid stone wall in the back of the class. It exploded into a shower of electronics and pieces of the casing. He could feel the entire glass staring at him with wide, fearful eyes.
"I'm sorry."
His cheeks burned with shame. He sprinted ahead of all the other pilots. Seeing Section-2 as he broke outside, leaping into the open door and waiting for the girls following close behind him.
Shinji counted every second as they hurried to NERV. They weren't even sure if it was an Angel yet. The commander wants the pilots inside the Geofront and ready to deploy, regardless.
If he didn't know he'd be refused outright, he'd simply leap into the entry plug in his school uniform. Instead, he ripped the buttons on one of his shirts to ensure he got ready as fast as humanly possible.
For once, the incredible speed with which he was catapulted to the surface felt too slow. Shinji knew every second he waited meant another second his friend was in danger. He should've stopped this mess. He'd seen it coming and was still helpless. Orders or not, he was going to get his friend out of there. He'd just have to rip him out himself.
A shadow approached, its titanic humanoid form approaching from the direction of the rising sun.
"I will be handling the tactical side of things for the duration of this mission. Units 00 and 02 will deploy in the vanguard with ranged weapons. Units 01 and 04 will stand close behind them and prepare for a close quarters counterattack."
"Is the pilot alive!?"
"That is irrelevant. You will obey your orders. The enemy is to be defeated at all costs."
He should've known that he wouldn't tell him. Shinji had to believe he was alive. He had to save him. He trusted Asuka to help. They'd already spoken on it, and he trusted her to do the right thing. With him and Rei, it was an instinctual understanding between the two of that they could trust the other. If he asked, she'd assist. Mari clearly held no love in her heart for the commander based on their conversations. All he could do was hope she wouldn't get in their way.
With all of them together, they might just be able to do it. Even if that meant getting each person to hold one limb while he rips out the entry plug.
Rei's positron rifle hummed with energy as the shot charged up. He watched a rocket from Unit-02 soar directly towards the enemy Eva's midsection. Crushing directly into the armor plating and consuming the black beast in a ball of fire. A blue line of arcing energy pierced the flames. The restraints on the creature's jaw vanished, and it let out a bestial roar. Leaping with incredible speed and grace towards the still prone Unit-00.
Unit-03 was efficient and brutal. It landed on the blue Eva and faster than his eyes could perceive. Pinned one of the Eva's arms with its own. Then, after trapping it, grabbed the Unit's bulky head and smashed it against the ground repeatedly. Without warning, the arm it was holding exploded off the blue Eva and fell to the ground. The pained scream the girl let out after would be hard to forget.
"Die! You bastard!" Shinji watched in awe as the white clad Evangelion charged, knife outstretched, towards the fearsome Angel. All the playfulness left her voice. It was both unsettling and comforting, considering the situation. He retrieved one of his own knives before running to support her.
Mari's initial charge had proven successful. She'd driven her blade directly into the Unit's already damaged chest plating. This seemed to only enrage it further. He picked up speed as he sensed the danger the white Eva was now in. It was clear the Angel had them outmatched on raw strength. The white Eva's hands were forcefully pried off their attempted stranglehold on the Angel's neck.
With animal savagery, the larger Eva spread its massive arms out. He tried to will his Eva to go faster, but he still wasn't fast enough. He could see the strain in the Eva's shoulder joints and in the blink of an eye it happened.
That was the scream he'd never forget. He didn't think the brunette could make a noise like that. It was something that would haunt him for a long time. The white Eva took a few uneasy steps before collapsing. Looking incredibly human as waterfalls of blood red LCL poured out where its arms had been mere moments ago.
It wasn't over, of course it wasn't over. His father had positioned him much farther from the enemy than any of the other pilots. Even with him doing everything in his power to make it before someone else. They were equally as eager to prove themselves against a worthy opponent and ran at the enemy with reckless abandon. An Angel that just wiped out two Eva's in less than a minute definitely made the cut for a worthy opponent.
He just needed her to buy time for him to get there. Then he could rip out Toji and they could beat this thing together.
"You've seen the rest. Now prepare for the best!" The crimson Evangelion looked almost comical as it approached the black Eva. Two oversized pallet rifles in each hand as streams of car sized explosive shells exploded across the unphased monster's armor. It would only take him a few more seconds to get there. He just needed to be faster.
With the clips of her rifles spent, Shinji watches as the Red Eva used the weapons as impromptu projectiles before scaling a nearby building. Once on top, he watched as the beast leap down. Forcing its entire massive weight into a single point as it slammed the black titan's head into the concrete.
The damage it had taken did little to affect its relentless nature. He watched in horror as the Angel took no time to recover and already had the other Eva's leg trapped in an iron grip. Another grossly misshapen and long arm stretched out and wrapped around the Unit's throat. He watched as the Angel strained and forced its opponent into the air.
The Angel started pulling with all its might and, to his horror; it looked like the creature was going to succeed in ripping the smaller Eva in half, right down the waist. Asuka didn't sound scared, more like a feral dog forced into a corner. She sounded scarier to him than the Angel did.
He was fast enough this time, however. Turning the momentum from his sprint into a powerful punch that succeeded in both freeing Unit-02 and knocking the Angel flat. The loud breathing he heard across the comms sounded like the most beautiful music to ears.
It was just him now. Against the Angel that had defeated 3 Evangelions in less than two minutes. He couldn't just kill it. He had to get the entry plug out and rescue his friend while fighting it. It was simple, really. Luckily they'd already attempted to eject it so he didn't have to rip it out of the Eva's chest.
Saying that, however, did not make it sound any less daunting.
Shinji squared up his shoulders and charged at the Angel. Forcing the creature's massive body down onto a nearby hill as he straddled its stomach. As soon as he was able, he began raining down blows on its head, hoping to disorient before he went for the plug.
Once he'd felt he'd done sufficient damage, he tried to pin the creature while reaching for its entry plug. His efforts were rewarded with a slip of his grip and an inhumanly strong hand breaking free and wrapping around his throat. Instinctively, his hands moved to try and free the obstruction, allowing the Angel to wrap its other hand around his throat.
He felt his feet leave the ground. He felt lightheaded, but this was his chance. With its arms outstretched, its entry plug was exposed. It was at the tip of his fingers. He carefully manipulated the cylinder as he slowly forced the tube out.
"Shinji. Why are you not fighting back?"
"Shut up! I can save him! Just let me do it!"
"The pilot for Unit-03 is already lost. Your orders are to destroy the enemy!"
"No! You're lying! I can still get him out!"
"It is him or you! Kill or be killed! There is no third option!"
"Never! I'd rather die!"
"Damn him, activate the dummy plug for Unit-01."
"But sir I-"
"Did I ask for your input, Lieutenant Ibuki?"
"No sir. Sorry sir. Activation is underway now."
The entry plug went dark. Panic overwhelmed Shinji for a moment. His fingers flew across the console as he entered the code he'd meticulously memorized for this exact scenario. He let out a sigh of relief when he finally reached the end and pressed enter.
Only for it to be denied.
Panic renewed, he made sure to check every single key press was exactly as he remembered. His time was rapidly running out. The red glow of the dummy plug now illuminated the inside of the plug.
The code was denied again. The Eva began to move despite him pulling against the controls as hard as he could.
"No! Stop this! Father please! I can still save him! Please!"
His Eva continued, its hand wrapped around the Eva's head. The large mechanical thumbs working their way slowly but surely into the creature's eyes. Then with precise brutality, His Eva forced its hands forward. Eliciting a pained roar from the Eva and freeing him from the chokehold.
"No! Stop it!"
With the other Eva now blinded, his Eva made short work of it. He could feel the flesh and armor plating cracking and tearing beneath his blows. The sensation of warm liquid soaking his extremities as the Eva was coated in a layer of LCL from the dying Angel.
"Please! Just Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!"
Blow after blow continued to fall down on the Angel's now defenseless form. He lost track of time. All he could do was beg, plead and cry for the nightmare to end.
It was a scene of total carnage. A mound of mutilated flesh lay before him, having once been the form of Unit-03. The sound of metal creaking and breaking rang in his ears as his Eva's jaws opened wide and sunk into the creature.
He could feel the warm chunks sliding down his throat, the warm liquid spilling out past his lips and staining his teeth. He tried to vomit, but it was impossible inside the LCL. Instead, he was left retching fitfully on the floor of the plug.
The nightmare continued. He began smashing his fist against the viewscreen as he saw the next morsel being offered to his unhinged jaws. A blob of flesh with a cylindrical entry plug sticking out of it awkwardly.
"No Please! Just stop it!"
The hard metal shell of the entry plug cracked beneath his teeth. He could feel the molars rending and crushing the flesh in his mouth. Inevitably, a sickening crack reverberated across the now silent battlefield.
"There are no longer any life signs from the Angel. Or the Fifth Child. The target has been eliminated."
A boy's voice screamed in pure agony. Wailing out the contents of his soul as he felt his ears ring and his throat ache. He lost all sense of time and himself.
"Shinji!? It's Misato. There's something I have to tell you. I'm so sorry Shinji."
"I know Misato, I know."
Hikari worked tirelessly to add the finishing dishes to the new recipe she'd tried out. Testing the broth and adding spices until it tasted perfect. She could only make it in batches, however, meaning she had enough to last at least a month.
She grabbed her tongs, scooping out the contents of the pot into a bento box. The first three were exactly the same. Food for her and her sisters, nothing special. The final box got special attention.
First she added a couple of octopus hot-dogs. Remembering how the boy had told her about his love of the cut-up sausages. She added an egg roll, carefully cut into the shape of a heart as the bow on top. Finishing with a big smile at the gorgeous boxed lunch she'd just prepared.
"I sure hope he's hungry tomorrow."
Sakura Suzuhara paced back and forth within the spacious underground shelter. She'd been ecstatic to hear that her brother was going to become one of NERV's elite Eva pilots. Today was the day of his test. She'd been sure to see him off before he left. She'd been sworn to secrecy so she couldn't even tell the others at NERV she knew until it was official.
Sitting in the underground shelters, she only hoped he was okay. He was probably safer than all of them, either in an Eva or at NERV. She was worrying about nothing.
Still, she had a creeping feeling of dread that wouldn't go away. The fighting had stopped. She didn't hear the titanic explosions and alien noises that had previously been deafening. It was a long shot, but she needed to know her brother was safe.
She called the number of the only NERV personnel who had exchanged contact information with her. Praying that the signal would still carry while she was underground.
Shinji didn't remember leaving the entry plug. Nor changing into his regular clothes. Somehow, he'd gotten himself into a sitting position on one of the benches. A large mirror reflected his pathetic state back to him.
He looked like a drowned rat. His hair was matted into his skin and dark bags hung around his red, still damp eyes.
The eyes of a murderer, Toji's killer. Also, the eyes of a failure, who could never do a single thing right. Who was a fool for ever believing he would be the one to defy fate.
"I hate you!" His fist flew without thought, his chest burned. He could feel shards of glass digging into his knuckles. It hurt. At least he thought it should hurt. All he could feel was the fire in his veins.
Shinji spotted another one of the lockers sitting ajar. investigating further, he saw a familiar track suit sitting inside the locker. He grabbed the boy's basketball necklace out from its resting place, placing it around his own neck. Sakura would want it, Toji's little sister.
"God damn it!" His fist created a loud clang as it pounded against the metal. The force was enough to create a small dent. In that moment, all his fury directed itself at the inanimate object. Something was going to give. Either the flimsy sheet-metal door will break or his hand will.
Vibrations inside of the locker drew him out of his trance, he retrieved the object and looked around. The metal door had a broken hinge and hung loosely on the locker's frame. Droplets of his blood were spattered in nearly every direction around him. He looked to see who it was, the one person who he couldn't avoid yet desperately wanted to. There was no other choice but to answer the phone.
"Hey Sakura."
"Shinji!? My god! I'm so glad I got through to you! Are you alright? Is Toji!?"
"I-I'm so sorry Sakura."
"Shinji, what're you saying? What's wrong?"
"It's Toji. He's… He's… dead."
"No…"
"It's my fault, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Sakura."
Each time today when he'd thought the worst was over, something new happened. The sound of a young girl crying for her brother is another that will stay with him. For a long time.
The line went dead. He didn't know if she'd ended the call or if the connection had gone bad. Either way, now she knew the truth. He was no hero, he never had been. Only an idiot in way too far over his head.
His father must've disabled the codes he'd gotten in the past. He should've seen that coming. If it wasn't for that stupid dummy plug, he could've saved him. He'd not even been told it had been installed.
Toji did not die in vain. Shinji exited and began running with reckless abandon to his Eva. He had to make it before they'd completely shut it down. Maybe he could get back in his unit, show that he wouldn't be manipulated and pushed around by the man. Make him negotiate on his terms.
"Move." The sea of technicians parted when he spoke. None willing to meet his eyes. Each of them allowing him to walk up the gantry to the still open entry plug.
A person he'd not been expecting to see, however, caught him off guard. She was right beside the plug, looking confused as to the commotion. His eyes nervously watched her hand as it idly held onto a small firearm. One he'd never seen the woman have with her before. "Shinji, what are you trying to do?"
"Dr Akagi, get out of my way."
"She's already deactivated. Even if you're in the plug, it won't matter. You're aware this counts as insubordination, right?"
"Move."
"Or what Shinji? I understand you're upset, but all wars have casualties. It's the harsh reality of the world we're all forced to live in."
"I'm sorry." The doctor never saw the blow coming. Her glasses flew off her head and the older woman lost her balance. Hitting her head against a metal guardrail on the way down. Crashing to the floor in a heap as he moved to grab her weapon up from the floor.
The Entry plug was dark. Shinji thanked his lucky stars that the LCL hadn't been drained yet. He pulled on the manual hatch from the inside to close the door behind him. He was pretty sure the pistol was ruined, but still kept it on his person.
"Please. Mother, I need your help."
He pulled in vain at the controls, the Eva not responding to his pleas or movements.
"Get up! He made me do it! Toji was my friend! He had a family! His blood is on my hands because of him!"
His blood boiled, he ground his teeth and flailed himself around without care. He felt the surrounding LCL swirling around him as the temperature increased. Slowly, he felt the beast drift into activation. Responding to his pleas.
"FATHER!"
"He's managed to reactivate Unit-01!"
"I can hear that quite well myself, Sub-commander. Raise his LCL pressure to maximum. I don't have time for dealing with the tantrums of a child."
"Sir, the Eva isn't responding to any of our commands! We're completely shut out!"
"I see. Get the Second and Rei back to their Eva's immediately, launch them into the Geofront."
"Sir? What are we going to tell the pilots?"
"That Unit-01 and its pilot are violating NERV protocol and must be restrained."
"They won't make it in time."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Don't you hear it?"
"Don't I hear wha-" What sounded like a bomb going off above him cut off the rest of his sentence. He looked up to see the massive form of Unit-01 looming overtop of them, visible from the newly formed hole in the ceiling. It's normally purple and green armor painted over with red.
Before he could react, a gigantic metallic hand descended from on high to clutch him within its grasp. Lifting him up to the Eva's still LCL soaked face.
"Is this supposed to intimidate me?"
"Why!? I almost had him! Why did you stop me!?"
"You almost had gotten yourself killed. The Angel was trying to rip your head off and would've succeeded were it not for the intervention of the dummy plug."
"You're lying! Why didn't you stop it after!? He was still alive until… until…. Damn you!" He felt the metallic fingers coil around his body, going from merely uncomfortable to painful quickly.
"I will give you an opportunity. Release me at once and there shall be no retaliation for your actions. If any harm befalls me, know that our deal will be broken swiftly and without mercy. You understand what that means, don't you?"
The next few moments felt like an eternity. He could sense the hesitation. The grip slackened, only slightly. Then, after he'd nearly run out of hope for a peaceful solution, he was dropped unceremoniously back onto the ground.
The command center let out a collective sigh of relief as the rampaging war-machine lumbered back towards the cages.
"Are you going to stay true to your word? Or should we have Section-2 apprehend him when he gets out?"
"Let him return to Katsuragi's. He's spent, He knows any move against me would be against his own interests. He is a child with a poor hold on his emotions. Giving these kinds of weapons to children would inevitably lead to something like this."
"You don't seem that upset about the whole affair. Why?"
"Nothing has gone in a way that would affect the scenario. That boy holding resentment towards me is the least of my worries."
"Still, it'll take time to repair the damage to the command center. Not to mention, how can we be sure he'll play his part in the end?"
"That it will, luckily none of the damage appears to be structural. Repairs will be simple. Whether he is aware of it or not, the choice has already been made. I know my son. He will do exactly what we require of him when the time comes."
"If you say so, it's a lot to put simply on faith. You believe your son will follow the scenario, but that's all it is, belief. You don't know for certain. We all make our own fate in the end, Ikari."
"Not all of us are so lucky."
Asuka felt terrible. More than terrible, actually. First she'd gotten her butt absolutely handed to her by the Angel, along with her fellow pilots. All before the invincible Shinji came in at the last minute to save the day.
It was impossible to be mad at him today, even for her. She'd seen him when he'd fled NERV without a word to anyone else. His eyes looked scary, lifeless, without color. Like someone had taken a straw and literally sucked the life out of him.
He'd not left his room all night, and she didn't expect him to. At first she was worried he might've left altogether, but his shoes were at the door. Now, though, standing outside of the door, she felt more useless than ever.
What could she say? She'd not had a friendly word for the boy in life, so anything she said now would come across as hollow. Maybe she didn't need to say anything. That felt better than doing nothing.
Asuka pressed her ear up against the door to hear any sounds, making out the soft sound of crying, confirming the boy's presence inside.
She turned on the lights when she entered. Trying to keep her face from looking sour as she examined the boy weeping on the bed.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"Can I sit?" The boy nodded his head as he sat up to face her.
"It's my fault."
"Shinji…."
"Tried to stop it. I tried so hard to save him. I still failed. Can't even save one person. How am I supposed to save the world!?"
"Shinji, Don't be an idiot. What happened wasn't your fault. It was some AI, meant to take control away from the pilots and over to some computer program. You weren't in control, your father was."
"Sakura called me." That was definitely not good. She couldn't imagine being the one to deliver that news, especially in a circumstance like that.
"I saw you break your phone, idiot. How did you get a call?"
"She called Toji, actually."
"Did you tell her?"
"Yeah."
"I'm so sorry that this happened, Shinji. Do you want to… watch TV… maybe?"
"I just… need to be alone for a while."
"Yeah… that makes sense… I'll just… go."
"Asuka?"
She felt her heart involuntarily flutter at the softness in the boy's voice. He sounded in pain and there was nothing she could do to help. All she could do was stand around like an idiot and make crappy small talk.
"I don't think I really wanna be alone. I just can't… talk about it. Would you sit with me? Please?"
She felt a compulsion to say no. To strike him across the face and tell him to man up. But she couldn't. She wasn't gonna do this halfway. Words were clearly not going to be her way of lifting the boy's mood. There were other ways of comfort, however.
"Ah! Asuka! What are you-"
"What!? Did you seriously think we were gonna sit criss-cross applesauce and give each-other meaningful looks all night? This is much more comfortable, don't you agree?"
For the first time today, the boy smiled. It was a smile for her. She'd earned it. She grabbed the boy's cautiously hovering arms and wrapped them around her like a blanket, turning things into a proper snuggle.
At least she could manage doing this.
AN: Review, follow and favorite please and thank you. If you read this far I appreciate you and hope it's been an enjoyable read. See I wasn't lying, I can deliver on foreshadowing, I hope. Thank you to all the previous reviewers, I appreciate you. Extra shoutout to my guest reviewer, you're loyal I respect that. I can count on getting at least one review per chapter, which is nice. Be sure to let me know how I've fucked up and or accidentally done something right in the reviews. RIP Toji he became my favorite character to write. Stay tuned for the next thrilling chapter of LFLS to see what happens next.
See ya on the next one
