A Spot of Mischief

Kíli may only be 71 but he knows love when he sees it, and Thorin and Billa are very much in love. Or at least in the beginning of it.

He's never considered himself the romantic type, but every time he sees his uncle and his new friend, he just knows they're meant to be. Just like in those dreams of his, the ones full of starlight and auburn hair.

He exhales, plopping his head down onto the sticky pub table. No, Kíli has never been a romantic dwarf, but that doesn't mean he's going to sit idly by and let the important people in his life squander away the opportunity to be happy.

"What's with him?" Fort asks as Fíli approaches the table with a couple of tankards in hand. His brother rolls his eyes, settling beside him.

"He's sulking."

Fort blinks at him, his expression close to bafflement, "Kíli? Sulking? Did he lose a bet or something?"

"No, Fort," Kíli heaves a great sigh, "I'm mourning the loss of a potentially great love."

"Kíli," Fíli mutters.

"It's a waste and we know it and they know it," Kíli shakes his head - as much as he can without raising from his perch, "I just don't understand it."

"What's he talking about?"

"Billa," Fíli says simply.

Fort's mouth drops open into an 'o'. Kíli groans, burying his head further into his arms. The crowd around them in the pub is growing more raucous by the hour, and he manages to catch some whispers about a big party potentially coming up. He can't fault the Hobbits for their enthusiasm for food and drink, but their cheer is grating against his maudlin mood.

"He is being melodramatic."

"Am not!" Kíli says petulantly, lifting one eye to glare at his brother, "They are both being stupid."

"Well I can agree with you on that," Fort says, reaching for his pipe.

Kíli narrows his eyes at the Hobbit, "You do?"

"Of course," Fort mutters. "I am not blind. I have seen the way they look at each other."

"So why won't they do something about it!"

Fort draws a long inhale from his pipe, "How much do you know of my cousin's past?"

Kíli exchanges a look with his brother, who shrugs at him. He turns back to the Hobbit, "Not much."

"Billa's reluctance is easy to explain. My cousin may be the picture of cheer now, but she's suffered great losses, I would not be surprised to discover that those losses are holding her back," Fort says simply. "Your uncle on the other hand, he's a tougher nut to crack."

"He likes her," Kíli lifts his chin to rest on crossed arms.

"I figured as much. Everytime I turn he's watching her," Fort takes a puff of his pipe, and then exhales the smoke pensively. "There's something searching in his gaze, questions he has unanswered."

"How do you know this?" Fíli asks.

Fort grins, "I imagine it's the same way I look at my Lalia."

"Your who?"

"Lalia," Fort sighs, a gentle look crossing his face. "My One, my only, she is to be the great love of my life."

Kíli snorts, "You've never mentioned a lady before, my friend."

"Neither have you, and yet I see the same wistful look on your face on occasion," Fort narrows his eyes.

A laugh erupts from Kíli and his brother, Fíli clapping his back mirthfully - although the sound is hollow to his own ears. There's a flash of auburn, and strangely the scent of green trees before it fades, overwhelmed by the sounds and smells of the Green Dragon.

"Kíli? With a lady?" Fíli snorts. Well, if those words didn't smart - Kíli elbows his brother who lurches away with an 'oof'.

"Alright, no need to be so brutal," Kíli mutters, before turning to the Hobbit. "I might not have a Lalia, but I can appreciate the feeling."

"Or maybe your heart knows what your head does not yet."

Kíli falls silent at that.

"This doesn't resolve the issue of Uncle and Billa," Fíli says.

"My cousin will be easily convinced-"

"She told us yesterday that she doesn't think a King would be interested in a simple lass like herself."

"Thorin doesn't care about that." A deep voice from behind startles the trio.

"Mahal, Dwalin!" Kíli cries, clutching at his chest. "You could have warned us."

The dwarf grunts and settles in the space beside Fort, "Woulda defeated the point."

"Since when have you been so stealthy?"

"Billa taught me a few things," Dwalin replies, his gaze catching on the barman. He motions for a tankard and the barman flushes brightly, almost tripping over his own two feet to hasten over with the dwarf's drink.

Dwalin murmurs a low 'thanks' when the drink hits the table, and the Hobbit squeaks before scurrying off, his ears aflame. Kíli hides a smirk in his tankard, despite all his bluster about Billa's storytelling, the old guard has been enjoying the attention from the other Hobbits.

"What are ye's nattering on about anyway?" Dwalin asks.

"Billa and Thorin."

Dwalin snorts, "I've known Thorin a long time and I've never seen him be so clueless before. The lass is worse."

"So what do we do about it?"

"Do?" Dwalin blinks at Kíli, "We do nothin' lad. This is between them."

"B-but…they're hopeless!" Kíli splutters.

"Why'd you care so much?"

Kíli shrugs, "I just want them to be happy. Right now, they're both miserable."

"Hm," Dwalin grunts. He runs a hand over his head pensively, his gaze focused on a far off point. Then, "Ye ever hear how yer parents got together?"

Fíli and Kíli exchange a look then shake their heads.

"Had to trick 'em into admitting it," the dour dwarf explains. "Yer ma was too prideful and yer Da, well, he was too worried she'd kick the Mahal out of him, so me and Thorin locked 'em in a room together until they admitted their feelings for each other."

"So what?" Fíli says, "We should lock Uncle and Mistress Baggins in a room together?"

"Naw, I don't think that'll work for 'em."

"But you are saying we should trick them into spending some alone time with each other until they admit their feelings?"

Dwalin gives the lads an airy look, "Did I?"

Kíli shares a look with his brother, a thrill running through him at the thought of mischief. They haven't really been able to really get up to much trouble in Hobbiton after Thorin made them promise to be on their best behaviour - but working in the favour of love is still best behaviour right?

"You know," Fort begins, blowing smoke from his pipe, "Billa's quite partial to a picnic by the Brandywine. I'm sure she wouldn't say no if you asked her, for old time's sake of course."

"Of course," Kíli grins, then turns to his brother. "Didn't you promise to spar with Thorin some time soon?"

"I did," Fíli replies, his eyes twinkling. "I hear there's a quiet spot by the Brandywine."

Dwalin nods and takes another gulp of his pint, "Just so happens that I'm busy with Fort and Prim tomorrow, so I won't be able to come with ye lads."

"Oh, I had quite forgotten about that, Master Dwalin," Fort smirks, "Thank you for reminding me."

"Yer welcome."

A door slams open loudly pulling the four scheming males away from their plans. Kíli turns to see a stricken Noid in the doorway, his eyes wild as they roam over the Green Dragon's occupants. He starts towards them, his gait slow and face horrified.

The other Hobbit patrons shoot him wary looks as he passes, but otherwise pay him no heed - although a couple of lasses in the corner start giggling at the sight of him. He stops in front of their table, his gaze, well, Kíli would call it haunted.

"Noid?" Fíli pokes the stiff dwarf, "Are you, uh, well?"

He mumbles something so quietly they struggle to make out his words.

"Sorry, but I didn't quite catch that?"

Noid looks up, his eyes burning bright as a wide smile starts to stretch across his face, "I asked Maisy to marry me."

A startled silence follows his declaration, the entire pub coming to an abrupt halt.

"And?" Fort asks with a raised eyebrow.

The smile grows even wider, "She said yes."

The Green Dragon erupts into cheers, Hobbits from all walks of life rushing to congratulate the newly engaged dwarf. A keg is popped open behind the bar, and the raucous singing from earlier grows even louder. Kíli finds himself swept up into the pure unadulterated joy that spills across the pub.

Well, he thinks, if that's not a sign that love will conquer all, he'll eat one of Fort's hats.

...

A/N: I'm SO sorry about the delay - my adventure took a bit longer than I thought, so here's two chapters for yer delight.

Updates on a Friday will resume post-haste.

Thanks! M x