Chapter 2
It had been a couple of days since Levi's surprising revelation about what Tim had been doing with his free time, and now, Ducky sat for a while deciding if he should say something to anyone about what Levi had told him. On the one hand, Tim had the right to do the things he felt were necessary. They really didn't have the right to question his choice. On the other hand, Tim's mental health had never quite recovered from the last intense assault and it was important to all his friends that Tim get the support he needed and that they didn't let him fall if he started to topple. Perhaps it would be best to reach out to Zahara first. She would surely know about it, and if she didn't, that could be a sign of a bigger problem.
Decision made, Ducky pulled out his phone and dialed Zahara's number, knowing that Tim would be at work. He was putting in extra hours while Tony and Ziva were gone. While the phone rang, Ducky spared a thought about the newly-married couple. Their marriage had taken quite a long time to come about simply because they were both being cautious, possibly too cautious. In fact, in the end Ziva had been the one to do the proposing because Tony had been too nervous to do it. Ziva's switch to Lovitz' team had worked out better than anyone could have guessed. Lara had meshed well with Tim and Tony, and Muna, who had joined the team the year before, was doing very well.
Then, there was a connection and Ducky returned his focus to his phone.
"Hello, this is the McGees," came an unexpectedly young (and loud) voice.
"Hello," Ducky said in surprise. "Is this Salma?"
There was a giggle which answered his question.
"Yes! How did you know?"
"I recognized your voice. This is Ducky. May I speak to your mother?"
"Yes!" Then, there was a shout right in his ear. "Mama! It's Ducky on the phone!"
Ducky pulled the phone away from his ear and smiled. Then, he heard Zahara take the phone.
"Hello, Ducky. I am sorry. We are teaching Salma to answer the phone."
"That's quite all right."
Then, there was the sound of barking and shouting in the background.
"Salma, please take Marra outside and take Jonathan with you."
"Yes, Mama."
"But watch him and call for me if you need help."
"Yes, Mama."
There was a bit more scuffling and then it was quiet.
"I'm sorry, Ducky. It has been a wild morning."
"That's quite all right. Is Marra an adequate replacement for Jethro?"
Zahara laughed. "I only ever knew about a pet dog when Jethro was old. Marra is a wild puppy and she will be at least as big as Jethro when she is grown. I am glad we have a large yard."
Ducky laughed. Jethro had died the year before, but Tim had been reluctant to get a new dog too quickly. Finally, they had decided to get a puppy, and for reasons that Ducky didn't understand, they'd chosen a Doberman. Still, she was quite sweet, but Marra was also a rambunctious puppy who was growing very quickly. He knew that Tim had taken steps to make sure she was getting the training needed for a large dog.
"What do you need?"
"Well, I have something I wanted to ask you about your husband."
"Oh?"
"Yes. I was having tea with Levi the other day and he told me something that took me by surprise."
"What was it?"
"Well, did you know that Timothy has recently been training with the CIA?"
There was a silence.
"Zahara?"
"Yes, Ducky. He has been doing this for a few months now. He did not want any of you to know. He was afraid that you would not understand and he didn't want anyone to question him."
Ducky could hear the slight concern in her voice.
"Do you understand?"
"Yes. He no longer feels safe, Ducky. He is always afraid that it will happen again. I think he feels that if he is strong enough, he will be able to fight anyone who comes after him. And he still fears causing us more pain. He thinks that this will fix him."
"Ah, I see. Is it helping?"
"Sometimes. When he has successfully done something at his training, he feels better for a while, but it doesn't last because he is still afraid that nothing will stop someone who wishes to take control of him again."
"Is there anything I could do?"
"I don't know," Zahara said with a sigh. "It has been almost three years now. Sometimes, I wonder if he will get better than this. I wish that he would because he deserves to feel happy all the time. He has good days. More good days than bad days, but his bad days are... bad. Much worse than they were before."
"What happens on his bad days?" Ducky asked, wishing that he had thought to ask this question before. While everyone knew Tim still struggled to some degree, he didn't think that anyone had extended that thought to what it might be meaning for Zahara.
"It depends. Sometimes, he will still worry about going outside. Sometimes, he will get angry. ...not at us," she quickly added. "He still leaves the house when he gets angry so that it does not affect Salma and Jonathan. It does not happen often, I am glad to say, but the last time... it was the trial of the man who... who was guarding him when he was taken."
"Oh, yes." Ducky remembered that trial and its results. The man had pleaded guilty and had been given a very light sentence. Much less than he likely deserved based on what Tim had said about his time there. To say that Tim had been upset about the plea agreement was putting it mildly, but Ducky had only seen Tim a day or so afterward, not when the news had first come out.
"He went out with Marra and was gone for a long time. He had very bad nightmares that night. I was afraid for him, but he was better after he spoke to Dr. Hicks the next day. He is trying, Ducky. He still tries so hard, and he knows he has not healed, but he tries. He wants to be better than he is, but nothing he has done has got him to the point."
"I see. Should I mention what I have learned to him?"
"I don't know," Zahara said. "Perhaps... but perhaps not. Levi thinks you'll do something about it, obviously."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because he told you," Zahara said. "He would not do that if he thought you would do nothing."
"You're absolutely right," Ducky said. "Well, if you'll trust my judgment?"
"Of course."
"Very well. I'll give it some thought and see if I can come up with a good decision."
"Thank you, Ducky. I wanted to respect Tim's wishes but I wanted him to talk about what he is doing as well. I think it would help him if he talked about it more, but he doesn't want to."
"All right. I'll do what I can."
"Thank you." There was a pause. "Oh, dear. Salma has the hose. Good-bye Ducky."
Ducky chuckled. "Good-bye, Zahara."
The conversation ended abruptly. Ducky set his phone aside, sat back and considered what might be best to do. They had all known that Tim had never fully recovered. It was clear that he was always somewhat on edge although he tried not to show it. He probably tried not to feel it as well, but that was probably impossible, at least to some degree. Would that Tim could get back to his previous state of acceptance. After three years, was that possible? Ducky refused to say that it wasn't. Tim had managed to heal to an amazing degree once he learned to accept his past actions and get the therapy he'd needed. Tony had managed to heal after a decade of avoidance. It was possible. But perhaps Tim needed some extra support that they had not given before.
Ducky mulled over his thoughts for an hour or two and then picked up his phone once more and called.
"Jethro, do you have a moment?"
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tony woke up Monday morning, thinking about the fact that he was married. This was something that he'd wanted for himself in the past but had given up on. Now, he had it. He rolled over and sat up. The bed was half empty for now, but Tony sat and stared at it for a few minutes without moving.
It was a king-sized bed. He'd never wanted a bed this big before because it just seemed to emphasize that he was alone, but he now had a large bed.
And he was now sharing it with someone full-time. The blankets and sheets on that side of the bed were all bunched up from where Ziva had shoved them out of the way when she had awakened a few minutes ago.
Sometimes, this seemed like the most natural thing in the world and sometimes it seemed so strange that he wasn't sure it could be truly real. It had taken over a year of serious dating (and equally serious therapy) before they had started discussing marriage. It taken over a year of discussion before they'd become engaged. And now, they were married. Married and living in an apartment together. Sharing a bed.
It was weird and wonderful at the same time.
The door opened and Ziva came out, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. She smiled at him.
"Are you going to do anything besides sit there, Tony?" she asked.
"Well, what I'd like to do I don't have enough time for," he said with a fake leer.
Ziva just rolled her eyes at him.
"Well, I am going running. If you're not..."
"Nope. Not today."
Ziva smiled. "Then, I will get back in time to join you for breakfast."
"Good. Any requests?"
"Something more than coffee," Ziva said.
"That's easy."
"Good."
Then, she was gone. Tony smiled after her and then sat where he was for a few more minutes, looking around at his new home, considering his new life... and finding it to be exactly what he wanted. With that thought, he got out of bed and got ready for work. He wondered if it would be weird at work. Ziva had been on Lovitz' team for a year now and Lara had been doing well working with Tim and Tony. And their rookie, Muna, was really starting to come into her own. Everything had been going well, but now, he'd be coming to work as a married man... married to Ziva.
And he liked that, but would it take some time to settle in to the new situation? He really didn't know.
He went into the kitchen and decided to make some omelets. They were pretty quick and Tony had found that Ziva wasn't very patient at breakfast time. She definitely was more patient at the end of the day than at the beginning of the day. He wasn't sure why that was, but it always happened. So he'd make sure that breakfast was ready when she was ready to eat.
Tony got out the makings of some gourmet omelets. Eggs, of course, cheese, peppers, ham. More than once as he was prepping, Tony was glad that Ziva didn't keep kosher. He would manage it if she did, but it was so much easier.
As he was cooking the omelets, he heard the door open, signaling Ziva's return.
"Did you have a good run?" he asked, without turning around.
He was a little surprised when Ziva came up and kissed him from behind. Since she was significantly shorter than he was, it took some effort on her part, but she was more than equal to the challenge.
"Is that a yes or a no?" he asked.
"It is a good morning," Ziva said. "Is breakfast ready?"
"If you go and shower, it'll be ready by the time you get out," Tony said.
"Okay."
Ziva let him go and went into the bathroom. Tony quickly made sure that the omelets were finished by the time she got out. Ziva never lingered in the shower. She was very quick, but Tony was ready. When Ziva came back into the kitchen, he was just putting the omelets on the plates. He turned around and smiled.
"Done."
"Good. I am very hungry."
Ziva took the plates and set them on the table, side by side, while Tony got their coffee and juice. Then, they sat down together and began to eat. Tony kept looking at the ring on Ziva's finger. It was small and delicate. Tony had wanted to go all out, but Ziva had said she wanted to be able to wear it all the time and not feel that she had to remove it to work. Small would mean that it wouldn't get in her way. Tony had liked the sentiment and so he had picked out a tungsten band with a single inset diamond. The hardest metal and the hardest gemstone. Perfect. It would never break.
Ziva caught his gaze and she smiled.
"You are not used to it yet?" she asked.
"Not yet, but I like it," Tony said.
"Good. It will take time for me to get used to wearing a ring all the time. It feels different to me, but it is a feeling I'm willing to have."
Tony looked at his own band.
"I'm already used to it," he said.
Ziva set down her fork and took his hand.
"Good," she said again.
Tony squeezed her hand for a moment and then grinned mischievously.
"I was first."
Ziva laughed and gently shoved him away. She started eating again.
"You claim to be first. You may be pretending," she said.
Then, she glanced at the clock and began eating more quickly.
"We do not want to be late our first day back."
"They'll survive."
"And so will we, but we still should not be late. Hurry up."
She finished her meal and carried her dishes to the sink and then vanished into the bedroom. Tony smiled after her but he quickly finished eating as well and then took the dishes and put them into the dishwasher. Ziva came out a minute later, ready to leave.
"Let's go," she said and headed for the door.
"We'll be on time, Ziva," Tony said.
"Yes, and we will be on time if we leave now... unless there is traffic."
"And if there is, we'll be late whether we leave right this instant or not."
Ziva took his hand and acted like she would drag him out of the apartment. Luckily, she wasn't serious about it because Tony was sure that she would find a way to manage it and it would likely be painful. He resisted for a few seconds and then kept pace with her.
No patience in the morning. She had a schedule that she had decided was important to keep to and she wasn't going to change that.
"Am I driving or are you?" he asked.
"I will drive. You are too relaxed this morning," Ziva said.
Tony gave her the keys, but then, he caught her hand for a moment.
"That's because I'm with you," he said.
Ziva stopped in her rushing and looked at him. Then, she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
"I like it when you look at me like that," she said softly. "But we still need to get to work and so I will still drive."
Tony laughed and let her go. They got in the car and headed to work.
They were right on time.
