Hi all, I'm sorry it's been a bit, and if this update is not up to my usual standard for posts. I had two back to back major family emergencies that took several weeks to sort out. Thank you for your patience and I'll try to get back to uploading more regularly. Hope every one is having a good holiday season and enjoys the update. As always, thanks for the positive support.
~secrethalfblood
Lpov
Despite avoiding the place as if it was infested for a while now, I found I remembered the layout of the stadium as if I'd been here yesterday, especially levels restricted to staff and the players. It felt almost as if I'd grown up walking along the cold echoing halls and I guess in some ways, I sort of did. At this point, I figured I could probably find my way around in a black out.
I guess you never really forgot the places of your childhood.
The stadium was just as I remembered it, huge, well-lit, but with dingy florescent light that always felt just the slightest bit ominous without any windows lining the hall. Sports memorabilia lined the walls, spaced wide enough for medic vehicles to navigate through in cases of emergency.
I grinned picturing Jake's mother weaving in and out of employees at ridiculous speeds, cart loaded with bandages and bags of ice, potentially causing more injuries than she could treat if people didn't get out of the way quickly enough.
Posters of familiar faces, players both current and retired watched me as I walked. Though they were all smiling, it couldn't help but feel as if their eyes were disapproving. Watching the wild card of a brand they'd work so hard to build passing under their fixed gaze.
I turned at one of the concrete supports and walked towards the block of offices that were also unfortunately familiar, facilities for the hand full of agents that split time between the stadium and their own luxurious top floor offices further into the city.
I'd just stopped outside a metal door with a dent in it, probably from a player throwing a tantrum, when I felt my phone vibrate and I realized I was getting a call.
"Hey." I said grinning as Liv's face popped onto the screen.
"Hey girl." She said then immediately frowned. "What happened to your face?"
I glanced at my image in the lower right corner of the video call, and shook my head.
"It's nothing, monsters." I said when I realized I still had the scratch from the fight a few days ago. "You know how it is."
She nodded and made a sympathetic noise.
"Yeah no kidding, I ran into a gorgon the other day. One of the snakes almost took a chunk out of my leg."
"Are you ok?" I asked and she waved the question away.
"Fine." She said easily. "I managed to stun it with a hex, but speaking of magic," her voice took on a more serious tone. "I looked into what you were asking about. I can't find a ton about Hephaestus and Aphrodite, not more than what most of the world would know anyways. Neither of them are really into that whole hot witch girl thing."
"Shame." I said with an exaggerated sigh and she grinned. "Hot witch girls are in right now."
"Are they ever out?"
"Well…" I paused for a moment to consider the question. "Now that you mention it, I don't think so."
"If I ever got around to setting up a dating profile I'd make a killing."
"As you should." I said with a smirk and she laughed.
"Why are you looking into this anyways?" she asked her expression curious. "Afraid your mom isn't going to approve of your new boyfriend just because it didn't work out between her and his dad?"
"No." I said honestly. "Kind of the opposite."
"You think Hephaestus is going to try something?"
"I don't know." I said anxiously. "It doesn't seem like something he'd do, but he really doesn't like her. And she made a few comments that had me a little concerned."
"You've talked to her recently?" she asked in surprise and I shrugged, not really wanting to get into the events of the recent, fiery wardrobe purge.
"Not for long."
"Well. I'll keep digging, but magic isn't really his thing. He doesn't usually resort to curses. I'd be more worried about like… killer robots or something."
"You think that's likely?" I asked with uncertainty and she shrugged.
"Our lives are weird. You're famous. Jake is a walking tank. And I cast sleep spells on people who talk in movie theaters. I dunno if it's likely, but anything is possible."
This didn't exactly ease my anxieties, but I couldn't exactly fault her. She was right after all.
"Good point."
There was a moment of silence in which she seemed to be thinking before she asked.
"So what happened?" She looked curious again and when she saw my confusion she continued. "Between you and that Dex guy. I thought you weren't all that enthused about him last time we were at camp."
"I wasn't." I admitted rubbing my temple with the base of my palm trying to organize my thoughts. "I mean I didn't dislike him, I just…"
But the sentence faded as I tried to explain, unable to put the events over the last several weeks into words.
I hadn't hated Dex when we were at camp. In fact, what I said was true. I hadn't even disliked him. Even when he'd been irascible and rude, there had been something sort of amusing about irritating him. Poking at a terse exterior only to find a surprisingly sweet guy under the prickly surface. Someone I actually really liked spending time with.
A guy I just… liked.
"I dunno." I admitted looking away from the screen. I'd had a head ache for days at this point and it seemed like nothing helped. "I got to know him."
"A ground-breaking concept."
"Shut up." I said sounding far more defensive than I mean to and when she smirked I felt myself blushing. Gods. "You don't see me making fun of your love life."
"What love life?" she asked rolling her eyes. "I think the guy at the drive through recognized me by my car the other day. Does that count?"
"Is he cute?"
"No." she said flatly and I laughed.
"Might be time to switch locations. Otherwise soon all your nuggets will be heart shaped."
"That might not be the worst thing." She mused. "Think I might get a couple extra?"
"Depends on how much he likes you I guess."
"Truly a romance for the ages."
The metal door started to open and I figured I'd better face the music.
"I've got to go." I said apologetically. "Thanks for looking into it. Let me know if you find anything."
"Will do."
I smiled a final time and waved before ending the call, but felt it slide off my face and a flash of anger go through me when I looked up and saw who'd stepped through the door.
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Hey Lore." Logan said awkwardly with an attempt at a smile, but if faltered when he caught my expression.
"What are you doing here?" I asked angrily.
"Probably getting the same media marching orders they're about to give you. Not that I think you have any intention of listening to them." He added seemingly more to himself than to me. His next comment however, was directed at me. "Your little posting spree is making my life more difficult."
"Good." I said darkly and I appeared as if he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.
Logan looked pretty much exactly as I remembered him back at school, tall, good looking in a way that was obviously maintained, with dirty blonde hair and light brown eyes. Maybe a little more in shape since he'd left school and started playing as a career, but overall, he still looked the same as the guy I'd come to know over the last few years.
It sort of made me hate him more, to see how relatively unchanged he was. Like nothing had happened.
"How are you doing?"
"We're not supposed to be around each other." I reminded him sourly.
Despite the fact that we'd once been quite close, I couldn't stand the sight of him. Just looking at him made me want to hit something. He'd been there for all of it, Caleb, my father threatening to return to France, in a way, so much of it was his fault. But that wasn't why I hated him.
"Yeah well," he said stiffly. "What did you think was going to happen with your little social media stunt? I'm surprised you showed up at all. What are you trying to do? Get ahead of some bad press?"
His eyes darted towards the cut on my cheek and again I felt myself flush, but it wasn't embarrassment this time. It was anger.
"Who is that guy, anyways?" he asked and while he was trying to sound nonchalant, I could see by the set of his shoulders that he was far less relaxed about the situation than he was pretending. I didn't know why though. What did he care about Dex?
"That is so not your business."
"Why are you trying so hard to make sure people like him?" he asked stubbornly. "You've never cared about people's reputation before."
"You and I both know that's not true." I said darkly and he looked away his expression almost angry, but it softened almost instantly into something closer to ashamed.
He didn't say anything though. Not that I expected him to.
"Stay out of my life, Logan."
An emotion flashed across his features and it looked almost like regret.
"Lore…"
"I'm serious, we can like, never talk again as far as I'm concerned."
He didn't answer this, and while he appeared hurt, it also looked as if he understood my point of view.
"How's Jake?" he asked quietly.
I simply stared at him, my body practically shaking with fury. My heart rate jumping into over drive.
Something about it must have come through because he winced.
"Lore, I didn't-"
"I don't care." I spat cutting him off.
I didn't care what he did or didn't mean to happen, I wouldn't have cared if Zeus came down from Olympus with a scroll telling me to pardon Logan for all his transgressions. I didn't think I'd ever stop hating him. I couldn't.
"Look I'm sorry, you know that." He said stubbornly but I continued to glower at him. "I know it doesn't fix things, but we were friends. I just…" he sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "What's it going to take for you to finally forgive me?"
"Forgive you?" I asked quietly before letting out an incredulous laugh. "Forgive you?"
Had he lost his mind?
"Lore-"
"You know those flame cannons that go off by the goal posts every time someone on the team scores?"
"Yeah?" he said sounding a little confused.
"Next time someone gets a goal, stick your head in one. That'd be a start."
"It was a high school…" he said incredulously.
"You destroyed my best friend." I said glaring at him. "And when I got caught in the cross fire, you were happy enough to let me take the fall. It didn't seem all that insignificant to you back then."
He didn't answer, his expression stricken but I felt no pity.
"I hope it was worth it Logan." I said glancing at his practice jersey with distaste. He must have been about to join the team on the field.
"It wasn't like-"
"Stay away from Dex." I said cutting across his excuses and pushing passed him into the office, refusing to look back.
The walls were a mix of cracked concrete and white washed plaster, and the carpeting was worn, but the furniture was nice.
I tried not to get a heel stuck in a hole as I navigated the plush chairs towards a familiar desk, expecting to get yelled at.
'Just keep moving.' I thought as I spotted Howard, my father's agent, as well as various staff members dotted throughout the room, the team's assistant coach standing at Howard's desk, evidently engaged in some sort of conversation.
I tried not to think about it too much.
I'd decided to approach this meeting like a shark. Roll through without stopping, before they could get the complaints underway and start useless arguments. Bog me down with stats and numbers like they so often tried to, and threatening my father's career.
I also wanted this done fast, mostly because I wasn't entirely comfortable with what I was about to do.
"What do you want?" I asked and the men broke from their conversation, clearly surprised I was here.
"L-Lorelei." The assistant stuttered in shock, his eyes going a bit wider as he really looked at me. He was a tall, skinny man with a ball cap and an honest to gods whistle slung around his neck as if it gave him some sort of authority.
He looked stunned and I tried to remember when it was that I had last seen him. I couldn't remember, but it must have been years.
"Wow, you've grown so much." He blinked. "You look just like your father."
"Thanks..." I said not entirely sure this was a compliment. "It's the genetics."
Jake would have laughed at that, and Dex probably would have at least smiled but Howard however, looked far from amused.
"Please," he said gesturing towards the chair across the desk. "Have a seat."
"No." I said stubbornly pulling my phone out of my purse and frowning at him, before crossing my arms over my chest. "You can either tell me what I'm here for, or I'm gonna go."
They didn't like that, but I didn't care. I didn't like being summoned places, especially by people associated with the team. It reminded me too much of back when I was a kid and being shunted from promo shoot to promo shoot with my father between games and normally, I wouldn't have bothered to show up, but today was different. For once, they actually had something I wanted. Something I needed their cooperation with, and as much as I hated it, hated being here, I wasn't stupid enough to screw up a delicate situation out of pride.
Knowing this didn't make it any easier however, and I could feel my heart rate increase as they continued looked at me, the AC somewhat anxious, Howard calculating.
"Alright." He muttered his jaw set, clearly annoyed before reaching into his desk and handing me a stack of pages held together with a temporary binding. "We've looked into your friend. Luckily, his record came back clean, spotless actually. No trouble with police, model student, not even a parking ticket under his name."
"I'll bet he hasn't even murdered anyone either." I said with an over dramatic sigh. "So sweet."
I opened the action plans and grimaced when I saw things like charity events, scheduled walks on the beach, the whole media nightmare.
"We think this friend of yours might be a good influence on you and your public image."
"Uh huh." I said skeptically.
I caught the words 'car auction photo shoot' and closed the book.
"We think if we approach the angle as friends then-"
"I'm going to stop you right there." I said tossing the pages back on the desk and frowning at Howard. "This is a truly awful plan."
"Excuse me?"
"A car auction? Really?" I asked.
Clearly they were in over their heads.
"It's a safe event, in the interests of both your father and-"
"It's boring." I said. "You're trying to kill the story. No one interested right now is going to want to read about a car auction. The interest is going to rebound they're going to hate him. Boring is worse than bad, and Dex is a gear head." I pointed out. "He doesn't buy expensive cars, he fixes them."
"It's perfectly appro-"
"Who cares about appropriate?" I asked glowering at Howard.
"We do." The AC said indignantly. "Considering your father-"
"This has nothing to do with Dad." I said stubbornly.
"This has everything to do with your father." Howard snapped. "His image, his reputation, his career with the team-"
But I cut him off
"No it doesn't." I said angrily.
It was clear what they were trying to do, and even more obvious to me, that they didn't care one bit about protecting Dex from the media. Not if they could salvage the situation for my father and, by extension, me. I doubted they considered Dex as anything more than an unfortunate casualty if the situation rebounded. If they thought about him at all.
"And you can't treat this situation like you would with my father. I'm not him."
I expected a fair amount of push back at this, but was surprised when they remained silent. It was unsettling and I wasn't sure if the lack of reaction was because they were considering what I had to say, or they thought it was so ridiculous I'd caught them off guard.
I didn't want to find out.
"You are going to screw this up." I said glaring at Howard, trying to sound more confident than I felt. "Let me handle the situation with Dex."
They gaped at me and this time, there was no question about whether they thought I was an idiot or not.
"You've got to be joking."
"No." I said shaking my head. "I'm not."
"There's no way that we-"
"I don't think you're really grasping the situation here." I said cutting across the coach's splutters. "I'm not asking."
I took a deep breath, trying not to hate myself as I continued.
"Everyone one present knows I know how to work an audience." I gestured towards the cut on my cheek, making sure to gesture with the hand holding my phone. "Just how quickly do you think a picture of this would start fingers pointing at one of your players. Especially as, apparently, I have a new boyfriend according to the internet. They'd believe it too, seeing as the whole world thinks Logan is my ex."
Logan, though he'd only recently been signed, was a talented player. One that was only going to get better. A player like him, young with a lot of promise, was considered to be an investment to people like the men in front of me. They'd want to protect his reputation at all costs.
"You want to be very careful what you say next Lorelei." Howard growled angrily leaning forward over his desk, while the coach sputtered.
"Are you threatening us with blackmail?" he asked indignantly.
"No." I said stubbornly, being very careful with my words. "I'm giving you a choice. Let me handle the situation with Dex. And I won't set the internet on fire again. I'll play nice, smile for the cameras, come to games."
I looked at Howard.
"I've done it before. I can do it again. You know I can." I said steadily letting my gaze meet his.
"You can't be serious." The AC said furiously, but I wasn't looking at him.
I was still looking at Howard, who appeared to be thinking.
"You and the team can either have me back, or risk blowing up one of your most promising players careers before it even starts."
No one spoke at first, and I felt nerves pitting in my stomach. I felt my heart rate increase as my pulse pounded faster in my ears.
I hadn't expected to be so open about it, I expected there to be more of a build up, less matter of fact and on the line. A part of me couldn't even believe that these words were coming out of my mouth. It had been so long since I'd agreed to do anything for the team related to the media or press, and a part of me felt like I was selling my soul in some part. I hardily even recognized myself. And deep down, in some small, less bitter part of me knew no matter how much I disliked him, Logan didn't deserve this.
But I didn't care.
I didn't care about Logan and I didn't care what would happen to him, not if it would protect Dex from at least some of what was coming his way. Not if it meant I could avoid completely wrecking his life. I could deal with the press and the photos if it meant he wouldn't hate me. Especially as everything that was happening right now was entirely my fault.
I especially didn't care, when I realized that Howard seemed to be considering it.
The AC didn't seem to be on the same page however
"How dare you," he spat angrily, his face going red with fury. "If you think you can-"
"Hold on a second Jim." He said waving away the coach's protests and leaning forward again, something close to a smirk crossing his features as he gave me an almost approving expression. "So is this what your little stunt was about?" he asked, a knowing glint in his eyes. "You're leveraging your friend's reputation against Logan's?"
"The public loves Dex."
"Yes, you made sure of that." He said crossing his arms over his chest and looking back at me his expression one of shrewd, almost professional appreciation. "You know Lorelei, if you weren't so unpredictable, I'd almost think I should hire you."
"Just give me a few weeks." I said ignoring the comment. "I won't cause any trouble, I'll do whatever you want and then I'll disappear over the summer like I always do. No major stories, no scandals, and everyone will forget before the season is even over. Everybody wins."
He seemed to think this over for a moment, and I felt he needed a push.
"I will be perfect." I said upping the ante, again feeling as if the exchange was my soul, but I didn't care. Not when I was this close to getting what I wanted.
"Fine." He said eventually and I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, my heart skipping a beat. "But only if you are as perfect as you say you'll be. One screw up, and it's over. We take over all social media accounts, you'll be on a press black out, a real one, and go back to being home schooled, got it?"
"Fine." I said darkly.
"And you'll be at every game in the city, pictures with your father, at least one dinner in public together a week, and posts confirming you're going to practices every now and again."
A flash of irritation went through me at this but I tamped it down.
"Deal." I said darkly and he grinned.
Howard seemed extremely pleased with the events of the day, which I figured he would be. It had been his dream to get my dad's father of the year status revived from the grave of public opinion.
"All this over a boy Lorelei?" he asked and I winced, remembering what my mother had said.
"Maybe I'm turning over a new leaf." I said stubbornly, but he let out a dry laugh and something about it had me feeling very small.
"Dex didn't deserve any of this." I added quietly.
"Since when has something like that mattered to you?" he asked raising an eyebrow and I didn't answer.
It didn't exactly feel safe to.
"Well would you look at that gents." He said gesturing towards the room at large, apparently satisfied. "Looks like we finally found something that might actually convince our own publicity nightmare to be reasonable for once."
Instantly, about thirty sarcastic comments came to mind, but I held it back. I was supposed to be perfect after all.
Howard seemed to know it to.
"Impressive." He said with feigned enthusiasm so smug, my control almost shattered in the form of my phone case making contact with his skull. "You must really like this guy."
"This guy," I said. "Is officially none of your business. We just agreed to it."
I said adjusting my bag and starting to turn before I hesitated.
"One more thing." I said trying to keep my composure, but I felt my cheeks going pink and again, I felt, if it were possibly, even smaller. Even I could hear the uncertainty in my voice as I said. "I want to go to prom."
"Prom?" the AC said sounding perplexed, as if he'd never heard the word where as Howard simply looked amused.
"Your school doesn't have a prom Lorelei," he reminded me his eyes narrowed, but for once, not in dislike. It was almost as if he was prompting me. Daring me to admit what I'd yet to say out loud.
I expected it to irritate me, but it didn't. Instead, I felt my stomach tighten again, and felt my flush even more.
I looked away before saying.
"You're right." I agreed quietly. "But Dex's does."
I expected some sort of noise of irritation, or maybe just a flat out denial. Possibly even the start of some sort of fight. But when I chanced a glance back at Howard, he seemed to be considering.
"I'll think about it."
I hesitated for just a moment before nodding, figuring this was probably as good of a response as I was going to get and made my way towards the door, once again trying to ignore the banners of the players with only moderate success.
A stab of guilt went through me when I spotted Logan's number, it quickly turned to anger however, but neither drove the question that had been persistently turning over and over in the back of my mind.
'Why are you trying so hard to make sure people like him?'
I could sit here all day and pretend like shielding Dex's from as much damage as possible from the fall out of knowing me was the right thing to do, or that he didn't deserve it. And even if that's what I'd told Howard, I knew it wasn't true. I wasn't protecting Dex's image or his reputation out of some resigned sense of obligation, having been the one growing up in the public eye. My motivations weren't that selfless and I knew it.
I liked him. I liked him a lot.
So much in fact, that I almost hated myself for it.
'This is ridiculous.' I thought annoyed with myself.
What was I doing?
It was playing fire and I knew it. Dex was not prepared for the amount of scrutiny he and his life were about to come under. Feeding a line of romantic crap to the public would only keep them happy for so long, they'd go looking for a drama eventually even if it wasn't there. They'd make it up if they had to.
Without really meaning to, I touched the cut on my cheek and almost winced at the memory of Howard implying just how much trouble it could be for Dex if someone got the wrong idea.
It was what had caused me to act. To do what I'd been refusing to for years and play nice with the court of public opinion so that Dex's reputation wasn't dragged down with mine. It was a bitter pill to swallow, being forced to jump back in a game I'd thought I was done playing. I'd wanted to be done with all this. After Caleb, when my life was imploding, the last thing I'd wanted was an audience.
But here I was again, thrown right back into this toxic cycle, all because I was too selfish to stop spending time with Dex, and because I didn't want him to turn around and hate me for it.
I sighed and shook my head as I continued to walk, trying to sort out my thoughts.
The truth was that I cared about him. More than I ever expected to when I'd gotten myself into this mess, more than I thought I could care about a boy that wasn't Jake ever again. I knew the decent thing was to try and keep him out of my life, to never have gotten him involved at all, but it was too late. The least I could do was make sure whenever people talked about him, it was good.
I glanced to my left as I kept walking, spotting the tunnel that led out to the field and hesitated.
It was more than likely my father was out there at the moment and I debated the merit of immediately continuing on with the image overhaul.
I'd just decided to delay, partly due to the fact Logan was here, but also to avoid giving Howard the satisfaction of such an immediate victory when I felt my phone vibrate.
I looked at the screen and felt my resolve waver slightly when I saw it was a message from Dex.
'What do you get when you cross a child of Hephaestus, hours of boredom, and a bunch of annoying paparazzi?'
I grinned a little before responding.
'Cabin fever and an army of robots?'
'Close.'
A photo then came through of what looked like a modified RC car with some sort of device attached to what was left of the frame.
'Lots of broken cameras.'
He sent a video clearly taken through his blinds of photographers frantically checking their equipment with obvious concern, while a camera crew filed in and out of their van, looking furious.
I laughed.
'Do they know what's happening?'
'Not a clue.'
I didn't have to see Dex to picture the satisfaction in his expression at the moment.
I wasn't aware of smiling at first, but bit my lip to try and even my expression as I spotted a couple of staff members walking nearby.
Both were looking at me curiously, but glanced hastily away when they saw I'd noticed.
It was a reaction that puzzled me, mostly because, growing up the staff had been pretty used to me wandering around the stadium, some, like Jake's mother, I'd even gotten to know fairly well. But I guess it had been a long time since I'd last been here, I was sure there was plenty of new people working here. Most of which probably thought I was slightly insane.
I sighed.
I knew I probably should have been working to correct this impression, not just with the staff here but with the entire world, but when I glanced back at the tunnel it wasn't anger I was feeling or even stubborn pride. I just felt exhausted.
'It can wait.' I thought, and I was just about to start walking away when another message came through.
'I don't know how you stand this. Having people trying to take pictures of you all the time. It's maddening.'
Frowned at this, not really certain how I wanted to respond. Guilt and anxiety surged through me as I tried to figure out the tone. Was he upset? Angry? Or just making conversation?
'It's Dex.' I thought feeling the anxiety increase.
He typically didn't make conversation just to talk, then again… He didn't seem to struggle to find topics when talking to me.
And suddenly, my emotions were at war with themselves again, excitement and anticipation warring with shame and regret. Even if the situation in my father's world was being managed, I still didn't have a solution for the problem I was facing in my mother's.
I hadn't expected Liv to find much, not when I hadn't told her everything, but still, finding nothing had been a bit of a blow. Even if I was able to put out the immediate fires, that didn't change the fact that my relationship with Dex, whatever it was at the moment, was heading for a cliff. One I wasn't sure how I was going to avoid.
But it was driven out of my mind when he sent.
'Think my mom got the best one though.'
This caught me so off guard, it drove my anxiety away for a moment until a photo came through and I was startled into a laugh, confusion turning into amazement as I realized in absolute shock, that I recognized the kids in the photograph.
One was myself, only, it had been taken years ago and while the boy next to me was tiny in comparison to the massive demigod he'd grown to be, he was still tall for a kid, I would have recognized his smile anywhere.
A wave of shock rolled over me, uncovering what felt like a string of buried memories that, until now, I hadn't realized were still there. Of one of the best days I'd had with my father, on one of the rare times he'd ever taken me with him on a trip related to one of his precious cars. Not just because I'd spent so much time with him, but because I'd made a friend. A notable event at any point in my life. I'd never been great at it.
One that had seemed to genuinely like me for me, not just who my father was.
I couldn't help it, I smiled.
'Turns out, our parents know each other.'
He continued, and there was a brief pause before he sent.
'Did I just blow your mind?'
I honestly didn't know how to respond. I stood there for a moment, staring at the photo realizing vaguely that this must have been how Dex's mother had known me. Or why she felt comfortable addressing me about my father at the very least.
More emotions were welling within me know, an odd mixture of guilt, incredulity, and amazement, mixed with a strange sense of contentment that felt deeper than happiness. The word didn't seem adequate to describe the emotion that had seemed to have penetrated through almost every fiber of my being, down to the level of my soul.
I didn't know how to handle it, and when I let out another laugh, I was surprised to feel my eyes burn a little.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Wiping my eyes, feeling utterly ridiculous and if possible, even more pathetic, I opened my call list and selected Dex's name.
"Hey." He said sounding surprised as he answered.
"Hi." I said with a laugh that faltered a little.
He seemed to notice something was up however because almost immediately he sounded concerned.
"Are you ok?" he asked and I could hear the frown in his tone as he continued. "Did something happen?"
"I'm fine." I said taking a breath not entirely sure what was wrong with me. "I'm ok. I just… I have to do something I really don't want to do, and I-I guess I just wanted to talk to you before I did it."
"You did?" he asked sounding genuinely stunned and I almost laughed at the emotion.
"Yeah." I said and I wasn't sure who was more surprised by this. Me or him. "I like talking to you."
"Well, you'd be the only one."
"Jake likes you."
"He just wants to stay on my good side so I keep making him weapons," he said stubbornly, then added. "And so he can run me over on the lacrosse field."
"True." I agreed. "But he does like you."
"Enough not to kill me if we ever do play each other again?"
"Well I dunno if it's that much." I said grinning and while I heard him laugh on the other end, his tone quickly returned to concern.
"Are you ok Lore?" he asked after there was a pause on the line between us. "Don't get me wrong, I'm more than happy to talk with you if you need it, but you sound kind of off…"
"I'm fine." I said wondering how much of this was the truth and how much of it was a bold outright lie.
I mean, I was fine. For the most part anyway. Nothing was going wrong, not yet. So why was it that that the second the fires of the last few days were put out, did I feel like I was drowning?
I wasn't upset either. Not really. Yeah I was anxious about being back in the public eye, but it wasn't as if it wasn't a known element, and the fact it was going so well, and Dex so far didn't seem to hate me, really I should have been ecstatic. This was going about as well as it could have really.
Maybe it was the fact that I knew it could all turn on a dime. That growing up with my experience with the media and fame had taught me just how quick it could all turn on you. One seemingly innocent comment, or appearance in some random place could cause chaos and backlash so quick. And while it was something I knew I could survive, now it was Dex that I had to look out for. And only just now did I realize how all encompassing that fear was. The fear that something would go wrong, and Dex would hate me for it. And that the person that I was willing to put up with so much of what I hated for, well, I could be doing it all for nothing. He could leave.
And then where would that leave me? Stuck in this vicious cycle with the press, no closer to fixing my problems with my mother, worse, she'd probably be even angrier with me. She'd all but told me to get it over with, to hurt him and move on with my life.
No. No I was not fine. I didn't sound fine either which I realized far too late, but Dex didn't seem to want to push the issue.
"Ok." He said gently in a tone that told me he was very aware of how not fine I was, but also that forcing me to admit it would do nothing to fix the situation.
"Dex, I," I took a breath as the words I hadn't realized had been bubbling under the surface for the entire conversation spilled out. "Dex I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to get wrapped up in this. I promise and I'll figure it all out, I just-"
"Lorelei, it's fine." He said in a steadying tone.
"No it's not." I said feeling the tears welling again. "This is all my fault."
"What is?"
"Everything." I said guiltily. Even the things he didn't know about.
"This is not your fault." He said evenly, and while I wanted to argue, to admit to everything to get some sort of reprieve from how awful I felt I couldn't. I felt paralyzed. I didn't know what to do.
I couldn't tell him the truth. I wasn't sure I'd survive it. Gods I was such a coward.
"You didn't ask for this to happen."
I didn't answer this, but stood there, biting my lip. Too afraid to say anything, and unwilling to hang up.
"We're demigods Lore. We'll figure it out."
"I hope so." I said quietly glancing at the tunnel, knowing what I had to do no matter how little I wanted to.
There was a pause where neither of us seemed to know what to say, but didn't want to hang up either.
"I should probably go." I said eventually.
"Alright." He said, but he still sounded worried. "You going to be ok?"
"Yeah." I said not knowing whether it was true or not. "I'll be fine."
"Alright," he repeated, but I could tell he wasn't totally convinced.
"Try not to have too much fun messing with the paparazzi." I said and though I couldn't see him, I could tell he grinned when he said.
"That I can't promise."
"Good." I said with a laugh and though I was still upset, it didn't feel forced. "I'll talk to you later."
"Alright, see you Lore."
I ended the call and glanced at my phone, before taking a deep breath, and walking towards the tunnel.
'I can't believe I'm doing this.' I thought sourly.
But even as resentment surged, a sense of familiarity was creeping through me with each pounding heartbeat that was slamming itself against my chest. The sky peaked passed the concrete, the perfect shade of blue for a sunny day on the coast and I hesitated before stepping on the grass, surprising myself when I kicked off my shoes.
I stepped on to the field, realizing I'd forgotten the feeling of just how massive it was, and how strange the stadium felt when it was empty.
It was so quiet…
"Hey! Watch out!"
My head snapped up only to see an object streaking towards me. Reflexes taking over, I leaned back and caught it between the grass and the bottom of my foot, only to be surprised to see a soccer ball there.
"Old habits die hard I guess." I muttered to myself before looking up to see what looked like almost the entire team and coaching staff staring at me.
Normally, I would have had something smart or sarcastic to say. I didn't like it when people gawked at me, and rarely ever froze, but not now. Now I felt stupid. Stupid and tiny and embarrassed, almost as if I were a little kid again.
My heart rate pounded harder, and a part of me felt as if I was about to get shouted at. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a voice said.
"Lorelei?"
It came from a man in a yellow, long sleeved jersey by the water bottles. He was tall with broad shoulders, a shaved head and absolutely massive hands made even more staggeringly huge with gigantic padded gloves. It was Bryan, the starting keeper, and the one person on the team who was older than my father.
He'd known me since I was quite literally a baby, and he was smiling. He was next to, my father, who looked just as surprised as the rest of the group to see me standing there, barefooted, with a soccer ball.
"Welcome back."
