Author's Note: Thanks, hugs, and passionate Remus kisses up against desks to GraceMonroe for your review! If you would like to get your own passionate Remus kiss up against a desk, you, too, can leave a review! :-)

I'm not sure how busy tomorrow is going to be, so I decided that, since I was a touch late posting last week, I'll post early this week. After all the drama and stress from the past couple of chapters, this chapter is pure, unadulterated fluff. Thought we could all use a break. ;-)

Also, on a separate but related and very, very important note: a reader suggested that Remus and Mairead need a shipname. I agreed, and asked for suggestions. I got "Maris" as a suggestion, which I think is adorable, but it was also suggested that I put the question out to all of you. So: what do you think? Should it be Maris, or do you have another suggestion? Curious minds want to know!

With that, here's Chapter 11!


Chapter Eleven: Remus Lupin: Extreme Gentleman

To her surprise, Mairead slept like a rock that night. She awoke early the next morning to pack her things and move out, as the homeowners would be returning to Middleton-on-the-Sea that afternoon. After taking Sherlock for a farewell run on the beach, she cleaned the house until it was spotless, left her customary welcome home note underneath the house key, kissed Sherlock, called good-bye towards wherever Moriarty was hiding, and headed off for her car, bag over her shoulder. She wondered when she would next get to enjoy a long stay like this. Her next few bookings would all be one- or two-week stays, though at least they would all be around London.

She had a long drive to return her car to London, so she settled into her seat and slotted a cassette into the player. She sped towards London while listening her way through the tape, but her mind was not on the music. Her thoughts strayed, as they always did, towards the man who had never been far from her mind since the day she had met him. She had told herself she wasn't allowed to obsess over their kiss. It had been for the mission, a vital part of their cover story. It didn't mean a single thing to him and it absolutely should not mean anything to her.

She thought she had imagined every possible scenario, realistic and not so realistic, in which she might find herself kissing Remus, and yet she had to admit that kissing while they were both disguised by Polyjuice Potion in order to save themselves from being murdered where they stood by Lucius Malfoy had never been on her list. And in every fantasy that had played in her mind, Remus had always been a willing - indeed, an enthusiastic - participant. And while the kiss had certainly been... energetic, she couldn't fool herself into believing that any part of him had enjoyed it. He had been humiliated when Sirius had brought it up the previous night.

What was more, she had to admit to herself that, far from the transporting experience she had always thought kissing Remus would be, the kiss itself had actually been a tad disappointing. It hadn't been Remus's lips kissing hers. It hadn't been his hands on her skin, and her skin hadn't been her skin at the time. He hadn't looked like himself; he hadn't smelled like himself; he hadn't sounded like himself when he had moaned her name - and it hadn't even been her name that he had moaned! To top it all off, the moment had been so terrifying and adrenaline-fueled that she hadn't even had the time to soak up the experience, and she only had vague memories of what had happened, focused as she had been on other things, like continuing to live.

The entire moment on the desk had been so anticlimactic that by the time she arrived on the outskirts of London she had half talked herself into letting this be the driving factor in finally letting go of her silly schoolgirl crush on her former professor. Things were so close to being good with Remus - they had successfully pulled off a mission as partners, he had apologized, and he had told her that he wanted to be friends with her. She should be satisfied with that.

But when she pulled up outside of number twelve, Grimmauld Place, and retrieved from her backseat the laundered and neatly folded clothing that he had lent her weeks ago (which she had not returned while she had been avoiding him), she couldn't help but stroke her fingers over the soft fabrics and imagine what it would be like to run her hands over his clothes while they were actually on his body.

You know, there's probably something, like, clinically wrong with you, the nasty voice in her head observed casually as she pulled out her wand and tapped on the door to let herself in.

It took Mairead a few minutes to find anyone. She had been hoping to run into Remus - to return his clothing, not because she wanted to see him in particular, of course - but instead the first person she came upon was George, who was hovering outside her potions lab, looking a little on the pale side.

"Ah, Mairead!" he said, voice breaking with what sounded like relief as she came down the corridor. "Excellent to see you. How're things?"

"They're... fine... thanks," she said cautiously.

"Excellent, excellent," George said, rubbing his hands together in a brisk move that forcefully reminded Mairead of his older brother, Percy.

Mairead cocked an eyebrow at him. George dropped the pretence.

"Listen, you wouldn't happen to have any more of that doxy venom antidote in your lab, would you?" he asked in a low voice, looking around as he spoke.

"Oh, sure," she said, opening the door and letting him go in ahead of her. "You do know your mum has some too, right?"

George clicked his tongue. "About that..." he said, glancing back out into the corridor. "Any chance we could just keep this between you and me?"

Mairead stared at him. "What did you do?" she asked.

George sighed painfully. "Yeah, I'd love to stay and fill you in on everything, but time is... well, let's just say it's of the essence right at this particular juncture."

Mairead rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I'm coming with you," she said resignedly, plucking a bottle of the antivenom off her shelves of completed potions.

She followed George to the bedroom he shared with his twin brother and found Fred spreadeagled on the floor, skin tinged with an unpleasant blue color that seemed to originate at his mouth.

Blinking incredulously, Mairead dropped to her knees beside Fred, unscrewed the top to the antidote, and carefully measured out six drops onto Fred's tongue.

"Did he eat a doxy?!" she demanded as she worked.

"Er... that depends on how you look at things," said George delicately.

"Fuck me briefly," she muttered, shaking her head as she began massaging Fred's sternum vigorously. The color immediately began to return to his face, and after about a minute he started to stir.

When Fred opened his eyes, he said, "Oh, hey, Mairead," then looked over at George and said, "Yeah, let's halve that."

George nodded and went over to a writing desk, where he scribbled something on a piece of parchment paper.

Mairead looked back and forth between the two. "Do I... want to know what's going on in here?" she asked.

"Oh, I doubt that very much," Fred said cheerfully as he swung himself to his feet.

"Plausible deniability," George added without turning around.

Mairead pursed her lips. "'Kay," she said softly to herself. "Either of you know where everybody else is?" she asked as she rose from the ground.

"Let's see," said Fred, ticking names off on his fingers as he went, "Mum was in the kitchen last I saw; Ron, Harry, and Hermione are in a bedroom cleaning out a cupboard; Lupin's at the Ministry sorting out something with Kingsley - top secret, that; don't tell anybody we know that - and Sirius is off sulking."

"Why is Sirius sulking?" Mairead asked, frowning.

The corners of Fred's lips pulled down. "Dunno," he said. "He's just been moody lately."

"Huh," said Mairead thoughtfully. "Guess I'll go check on him. Where is he sulking?"

"Either his bedroom or his mum's."

Mairead nodded. "Thanks."

"Oh, no," said Fred, shaking the bottle of antivenom. "Thank you."

"I'm not getting that back, am I?"

"Probably for the best if you leave it here," said George.

Deciding that she did not want to know, Mairead took her leave.

She headed for Sirius's room first, but after knocking twice and hearing no movement within, she headed for his mother's bedroom. She hadn't spent any amount of time in this part of the house before. If she had, she would have known to take the servant's staircase, which would have allowed her to avoid walking past the grandfather clock that was now coming up on her right. As it was, however, she had no way of knowing whether the clock in question normally made an ominous clicking, clanging sound as passersby approached.

A haunting, childlike giggling issued from a portrait hanging above a console table across the corridor from the grandfather clock as she drew level with both. Thus, she was distracted and more than a little creeped out as she passed, and as a result, she did not notice the glass door to the grandfather clock swing open until it was too late for her to dodge the enormous bolt that shot out of the clock's innards like a bullet. She spun on her heel as the clock chimed loudly and the bolt hit her left collarbone. She screamed as she felt the bone break. The force from the bolt threw her backwards. The last thing she remembered was the side of her head hitting the console table as she crashed to the ground.


Remus skulked behind a dumpster, waiting for the effects of the Polyjuice Potion he had taken earlier to wane. Kingsley had come over earlier and asked Remus to accompany him to the Ministry. He had a few loose ends he wanted to tie up regarding Froggie in case Malfoy decided to do any sniffing around. Fortunately they had still had a modest amount of Polyjuice Potion left.

Kingsley had taken a few photos of Remus - the first to look like his beginning of employment photograph, the second and third were photographs that were supposedly taken as part of his arrest the previous evening - and he had also had Remus spend a small amount of time in the laundry facilities of the Ministry so that other employees would recognize him if asked.

Remus felt the Polyjuice Potion beginning to wear off and waited until the tingling, creeping sensation subsided. Then, he straightened up, took a look around, and Disapparated.

When he arrived on Grimmauld Place, the first thing he felt was his stomach give a leap of excitement at the sight of Mairead's car parked on the street. The second thing he felt was an immense wave of guilt and self-hatred for his excitement.

He wasn't sure what he had expected from confiding his feelings to Sirius. If he was being honest with himself, he had hoped that, by voicing his feelings out loud, he would see how absurd they were and no longer feel them. Perhaps he had hoped that Sirius would voice some of the disgust that Remus was feeling with himself over his attraction to Mairead.

But that was not what had happened. Far from being the voice of reason that Remus had hoped for and telling him that he was a perverted creep, Sirius had clapped Remus on the back and told him how happy he was for him. He had said how much he liked Mairead and how perfect he thought she was for him. He had concluded by telling Remus that he shouldn't wait too long to tell her how he felt. "She's clever, but something tells me she's not going to be able to piece this together on her own," he had said.

Which, of course, had put Remus squarely back in the position of being the one to have to condemn his own sick depravity. He had argued that Mairead was his student ("She hasn't been your student for over a year," Sirius had argued), that she was underage ("She's nineteen!" Sirius had yelled), and too vulnerable ("I'd love to watch her kick your arse for saying that").

When that approach hadn't worked to turn Sirius around, Remus had switched focus to himself. He had asked Sirius how he could claim to care about Mairead in one breath and in the next say that he would be happy to see her end up with a dangerous werewolf with absolutely nothing to offer her, who, in addition to being unthinkably threatening, was also a traitorous predator who had betrayed her trust in him by lusting after her.

Sirius had pressed a thumb hard into the place where his left eye met his socket. "I don't even know how to go about dismantling that pile of rubbish you've just erected."

Sirius had then tried to reason with Remus, which Remus did not appreciate one bit. Sirius told Remus that he had been lonely for far too long. Remus had told Sirius that Remus's loneliness was not Mairead's job to fix. Sirius said that Remus and Mairead were deeply compatible, which had led to Remus nearly shouting, "Oh, yes, what unparalleled compatibility: the bloodthirsty, licentious werewolf and the innocent girl who doesn't have a hope of fending him off!"

Sirius had fallen silent, startled, perhaps, by Remus's uncharacteristic outburst. After a few moments, Remus had said, "Look, this is just an infatuation. I would have thought I'd left these behind with my teenage years, but evidently not. But that's all this is. It's just a simple, passing infatuation. I would just like to get through it as smoothly as possible, and I thought you might be able to help."

Sirius had looked at him soberly, and Remus had not missed the disappointment in his eyes. "Maybe it's just a crush, maybe it's not," he had said. "But you owe it to yourself to find out. Spend some time with her. You've been avoiding her like the dragonpox, Moony. Let yourself be around her and see if there's something there. You can't be worried you won't be a gentleman about it. And you can't pretend you'd be coercing her into it - she lights up like Floo powder when you walk into a room. She'd jump at the chance to hang out with you. Just try it and if there's no spark, well, have yourself a few good wanks over it in the shower and move on."

Remus had ground his teeth together in agitation. "And if there is a spark?" he had finally asked, half afraid of the answer.

Sirius had shrugged. "She just snogged you silly up against a desk, Moony. And it was her idea. Have you considered that you might not be the only one with a 'simple, passing infatuation,' as you insist on calling it?"

The conversation had gotten Remus absolutely nowhere and left him just as tormented as if he had said nothing to Sirius. He had gone to bed, where he had spent the night tossing and turning and trying desperately not to imagine how much better their moment on the desk would have been had it been Mairead's body he had been allowed to explore with his hands and mouth.

Remus shook his head and determinedly shoved all thoughts of Mairead's body out of his mind as he let himself into Grimmauld Place. He simply had to put Mairead out of his mind. He needed space from her. They had been much too close to one another for much too much of the previous evening. And adrenaline did funny things to a person.

Molly Weasley quickly found him and asked for his help sorting out a grandfather clock, which was shooting bolts at passersby. He had an excellent time working with Harry, Ron, and Hermione to sort the clock out. Remus really hadn't gotten nearly as much time catching up with James's son as he would have liked so far that summer, and he delighted in the time spent with Harry and his two best friends.

By the time Remus had put the clock to rights, he had settled himself on the plan of avoiding Mairead for at least the next few days. The space would do both of them good, he reasoned. She had absolutely no need of him, and the distance was sure to resolve the confusion that had worked its way into Remus's mind.

This was good. His plan was solid.

Which was why he couldn't quite understand why, when Hermione mentioned that the clock had shot a bolt at Mairead, breaking her left collarbone, and that Sirius was looking after her in his mother's bedroom, Remus had quickly made his excuses to the three teenagers and had made a beeline for the master bedroom of Grimmauld Place.

He knocked softly on the door when he arrived.

"Come in," he heard Sirius call.

He stepped inside and found Mairead on the floor beside Buckbeak, sitting on a lumpy pile of bedclothes and stroking the feathers between his eyes with her right arm while her left was draped carefully in her lap. Buckbeak's eyes were closed in contentment, but at Remus's entrance he startled, shifting his wings and tossing his head in agitation.

Remus froze in the doorway, afraid that Buckbeak might hurt Mairead.

"Buckbeak, calm down, you know Remus," said Sirius from his position on the bed. His arms were folded across his chest and he looked bored and unhappy.

The hippogriff settled down at Sirius's words, and Remus cautiously stepped into the room, avoiding eye contact with Buckbeak in a show of respect.

"Hi!" Mairead called brightly, smiling widely at him. Her bright eyes glittered happily as she looked at Remus, and he knew that he was totally lost.

"Hello, Mairead," he said softly. He had never noticed before what a pleasure it was, the feeling of her name rolling across his tongue. Trying to push that thought aside, he turned to Sirius. "You made her sit on the floor, Padfoot?" he admonished his friend.

"She wanted to sit with Buckbeak!" Sirius cried, instantly defensive. He hunched his shoulders and scowled straight ahead of him. He was definitely in one of his moods.

"It's true," Mairead said. "Sirius made up this little nest for me." She smiled and scrunched further down into the bedclothes, which, it now occurred to Remus, Sirius must have stripped off the bed he was sitting on, for it contained nothing but a fitted sheet.

"Ah," said Remus. "My apologies, Padfoot."

Sirius waved a hand without looking away from the opposite wall he was glowering at. Remus saw that Mairead was also watching Sirius, a concerned and unhappy look on her face. Wanting to lighten the mood, Remus strolled over towards her, hands in his pockets.

"I've got a question for you," he said as he considered her. She looked back up at him, eyes wide and politely expectant. "And you work in a library, so this seems like something you ought to know. Is there a special term for when one gets one's clock cleaned... by an actual clock?"

Mairead laughed and looked off to the side for a moment, thinking. "Yeah, I think it's called having your bell rung, isn't it?" she said.

Remus threw back his head and laughed. He even heard a quiet snort from Sirius behind him.

Remus knelt down on Mairead's other side, keeping a careful eye on Buckbeak, though the hippogriff seemed contented enough. Mairead was wearing the same loose-fitting vest top she had worn the first morning she had come over to help them clean, and Remus's eyes immediately caught on the swelling and bruising he could see blooming across her collarbone and shoulder. She also had a nasty cut above her left eyebrow that was bruising as well.

"Are you badly hurt?" he asked softly.

Mairead shook her head. "No, I was able to heal the break myself. Fortunately it was my left collarbone so I could still use my wand arm."

"Couldn't you do anything about the bruising?" Remus asked, and, before he was aware enough of what he was doing to stop himself, his fingers reached up and delicately brushed the bony protrusion where her collarbone met her shoulder.

Mairead swallowed before answering. "Erm -" her voice was strangely gravelly and she cleared her throat before continuing. "I could try, but since I'm not a certified Healer and I don't have any training or anything I figured it was best to stick with working on the things that needed to be worked on and leaving the rest alone. The bruising'll go away on its own."

Remus's eyes traveled up to the cut and bruise above her eyebrow. "Did you get hit by two bolts?" he asked.

The corners of Mairead's mouth twitched upwards into an embarrassed smile. "No..." she slowly admitted. "I fell over when I got hit and knocked myself out on a table." She laughed under her breath.

Remus's mouth fell open in surprise. "Are you okay?" he asked urgently.

She smiled again. "Yes," she said. Remus saw her own eyes flicker to the cut that was still above his own eyebrow - the one she had given him the previous night when she had punched him. "I just thought we could be matchy-matchy."

Remus closed his eyes and shook his head. When he opened his eyes she was looking shyly up at him through her eyelashes. Her freckles were presenting a significant problem to him.

Oh, God. Close. Much too close.

He tried not to rush as he stood back up. "Well, I hope you'll be satisfied to know that I have avenged you," he said with a teasing smile. "That clock won't be giving you any more trouble."

Mairead pulled her lips into her mouth and thought for a moment. "Would you say you got the upper... hand?" she asked.

He snorted. "Yes, I daresay that clock won't so much as ask me for the time of day anymore."

Mairead laughed delightedly. Behind him, Remus heard Sirius let out a disgruntled groan.

"Do not start in with puns," he said irritably.

Remus didn't take his eyes off Mairead, eager to watch her reaction as he spoke. "Now, now, Padfoot," he said placidly. "There's no need to get all wound up."

When her face lit up, he felt his heart soar.

"Yeah," she added, smiling deviously, "don't be ticked off."

"Oh, for the love of Christ," Sirius groused.


What had started out as a very brief visit to Sirius's bedroom solely for the purpose of seeing if Mairead needed any medical attention became Remus sitting on the floor beside Mairead and talking softly with her for the rest of the morning. Sirius sat in sullen silence the entire time, a sour look on his face and only answering direct questions in as few syllables as he could manage. Mairead kept sending sad glances over at Sirius, and her attempts to draw him into conversation became more and more tentative as he repeatedly rebuffed her friendly attempts at including him.

Despite Sirius's sulking casting a pallor over the mood, Remus enjoyed himself immeasurably. He realized that, with his intermittent attempts at avoiding Mairead, combined with her own avoidance of him after he had hurt her feelings, he hadn't had a chance to have a conversation with her of satisfactory length since they had driven to fetch Hermione together.

He had always loved talking with Mairead, and as they aimlessly wandered from one subject to another, Remus secretly revelled in the fact that it did not seem to matter what they talked about. They could have a lively conversation about books, music, or history and just as easily switch seamlessly to an impassioned discussion on sandwiches or biscuits. Mairead entertained Remus with stories of her first attempts at learning to cook on her own (at one point she had set her clothing on fire), and Remus took special pleasure in making Mairead laugh so hard she cried when he recounted a few of the Marauders's particularly outrageous pranks he had refrained from telling her about while he had been her professor.

He was partway into one of these stories when there was a knock on the door, and Molly poked her head in and announced lunch.

Remus checked his watch and realized that he had been talking to Mairead for two hours without noticing the time pass. He stood up and offered his hands to Mairead, who smiled gratefully and accepted his help. She gingerly rose to her feet, hissing quietly at the pain in her shoulder.

Remus winced sympathetically. "All right?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just stiff and sore," she said, rolling her left shoulder and grimacing.

Before he could stop himself, Remus reached out again and stroked his fingertips along the bruise on her collarbone. "Perhaps Molly can give you some ice to put on it," he said.

Good Godric, her skin is soft.

Something strange happened then. Mairead's eyes slid slightly out of focus and her breathing stuttered in its rhythm. She blinked, looking dazed. "What?" she asked, then, "Oh. Yeah. I'm sure there are plenty of mice around here."

Remus frowned, instantly worried that she had addled herself when she hit her head. "I said 'ice,'" he clarified.

"Oh," she said faintly. "Yeah. That does make more sense, so."

Remus watched her intently as they made their way down the stairs, concerned she might fall. She seemed to do fine, however, until she entered the kitchen. When the door swung open, revealing Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley children already seated around the table, Mairead stopped in her tracks, hand on the doorknob. Then, she gradually began sidling backwards until she backed into Remus.

"Oh, sorry," she mumbled, looking highly disconcerted. "Actually, I think... I'm... er, sorry."

She then squeezed herself around Remus, sidestepped Sirius, and made her way back up the stairs.

Remus exchanged a glance with Sirius, who seemed to have come out of his funk enough to notice how oddly she was behaving.

Molly turned around then, and when she saw Remus and Sirius standing in the doorway, she clicked her tongue. "Remus, dear," she said, giving him a pointed look that had him walking over to the stove.

"I just saw Mairead dash out of here," Molly said, gesturing towards the door with the large wooden spoon in her hand. "Will you please go find her and bring her back here?"

"Oh," said Remus, looking over his shoulder at the door. "I'm sure she'll be back, Mol-"

"Be that as it may," Molly interrupted him. "I want you to go and bring her back here. And then I want you to sit next to her and make sure she eats."

Remus laughed uncertainly. "I'm not entirely sure why you seem to be under the impression that I have some mystical form of control over what Mairead says and does," he said teasingly, "but I assure you I do not."

"Oh, she'll do what you say," Molly said confidently.

"And what makes you so sure?"

Molly clicked her tongue again and gave a little laugh as though Remus were being extremely obtuse. "Because she fancies you, dear," she said.

Remus froze, his brain overwhelmed as he tried to process this. Molly turned and looked at him.

"Oh, don't be so scandalized," she said, chuckling. "It happens all the time. A young girl like that starts out admiring a kind, knowledgeable older man and then comes to develop a little crush. Most likely it's a holdout from Hogwarts. She probably had a little schoolgirl infatuation with you when you were her professor and it never went away."

Remus continued to gape at her, utterly lost for words. Could Mairead really have a crush on him? Molly mistook his awe for dismay, and gave him a bracing pat on the back.

"You don't have to look so shocked," she said with a warm, matronly smile. "You're really quite handsome, dear. I imagine lots of your students fancied themselves in love with you. But let's use this to our advantage, yes? Make sure that sweet girl gets some food into her system before she fades away entirely."

Remus finally managed a weak nod, then turned and walked stiffly out of the kitchen, scarcely enough awareness left to avoid Sirius's triumphant smirk, who had overheard the entire exchange. His hand gripped the banister for support as he slowly pulled himself up the stairs, still dazed by Molly's assertion.

Mairead had a crush on him. The thought was so heady that Remus actually found himself laughing giddily and grinning like an idiot. Was it really possible that she fancied herself in love with him? He instantly wrote that off as being too frightening to contemplate. And it was unrealistic, really. There was simply no way that someone as lovely and intelligent as Mairead would love him. He couldn't be sure of her motivations for latching onto him the way she had, but it couldn't be that. In all likelihood she was feeling lonely in the Order and had grown unnaturally attached to him because he was a familiar face.

And truly, it didn't matter whether she had a crush on him or not. Nothing was ever going to come of any feelings either of them might have - whatever they were.

But, he told himself, there was really no reason why he couldn't make the most out of Molly's orders and enjoy a ready-made excuse to sit next to Mairead at lunch.

Smiling privately to himself, Remus finished scaling the staircase and set off in search of Mairead.


Mairead hovered uncertainly by the door. She wanted desperately to leave, but she needed someone to lock up after her.

"Are you leaving?" she heard a soft voice say behind her.

She spun around and saw Remus standing in the hallway, hands in his pockets.

"Oh, erm, I think so," she said, shifting her weight between her feet nervously. "I... I -"

She looked around the hall, searching for a way to end her sentence.

He smiled at her. "Any particular reason?" he asked casually.

She scratched her chin. She had a very strong reason for wanting to leave, but she did not know how she could possibly tell Remus how badly she wished to avoid someone he clearly held in such high regard and fondness.

"Do you want to be alone?" he asked, carefully watching her expression.

"Not really," she whispered, feeling loneliness lance through her.

I just don't want to be around Harry, she thought.

It wasn't that she held Cedric's death against Harry. Probably. It was just that, when she had walked through the door and seen him, she was immediately transported back to that humid June evening, when two boys had returned to the start of the maze, and only one of them had been alive. Seeing Harry's face, skinny and pinched but nevertheless glowing with health and a light tan, made her think of Cedric's when she had last seen him: marble-cold and already tinged with the milky blue complexion of death. Seeing Harry's messy black hair made her think of the way Cedric's mother had lovingly stroked her son's hair off his forehead, after he was so far from caring. And seeing Harry's eyes, sparkling and full of life and fire, brought to her mind Cedric's grey eyes, wide and staring, lifeless yet still slightly surprised. It was his eyes that had haunted Mairead the most. It was his eyes that she could not shut out, even when she squeezed her own eyes closed.

There was simply no way that she could tell Remus that being around one of his favorite people was unbearable to her. But there was also no way that she could bring herself to share a meal with Harry.

"Is it that you're not hungry?" Remus asked, clearly trying to work out what her problem was.

She thought about taking the out he was offering her, but at that moment, her stomach gave a loud grumble. She chuckled ruefully under her breath.

"No..."

Remus watched her in thoughtful silence for a few moments before saying, "Will you come back downstairs and have lunch, then?"

She felt as though he had just asked her to jump off a building. Everything in her screamed that she did not want to go back to the kitchen. But he was asking her...

"Is it me?" he asked softly. "Are you still upset -"

"No!" she said a little too loudly, then flinched and waited to see if she would set the portraits off. "I mean, no," she said in a whisper. "It's not you."

Remus hummed and drummed his fingertips on his mouth. "Let me see if I understand," he said. "You're hungry for something to eat, and you don't want to be alone; you're not trying to avoid me, but you do have a reason for not wishing to eat here at Grimmauld Place. Is that accurate?"

Mairead looked around shiftily as she decided whether to play along. After thinking for a bit, she murmured, "Yes, that's accurate."

Remus nodded. "All right," he said. "It's settled, then. We'll go out and get something to eat together."

Mairead's eyes widened as the thrill of the possibility of being alone with Remus battled with the guilt of inconveniencing him. "You don't have to do that!" she whispered frantically.

Remus shrugged. "I'm on orders from Molly to make sure that you eat something," he said. "But she did not specify that the eating had to take place here."

Mairead frowned. "Why is she so obsessed with feeding me?" she asked, feeling a little irritated.

Remus smiled softly at her. "I think nurturing is how she expresses affection," he explained.

Mairead felt her expression soften and guilt creep up her. "I don't want to put you out," she said, voice hitching with uncertainty.

"Nonsense, you're not putting me out," he said briskly. "It's a beautiful day. And besides: something you said a while ago has been troubling me."

She was instantly anxious. "What?" she asked.

Remus took a step towards her. "When I came to your house last, you said you feel as though you don't really know me at all."

Mairead dropped his gaze and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry," she said, wincing at the memory of that evening. "I was upset."

Remus took another step closer. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said softly. "But if we're to be friends, that won't do at all. And I would certainly like to get to know you better. So I propose we go out, get some lunch, go for a walk, and get to know one another better."

Mairead looked up at him, hope battling disbelief. "Do you really want to?" she asked skeptically.

He nodded. "I really do," he said sincerely.

Mairead shrugged her shoulders up to her ears as she fought not to hug herself gleefully right in front of him. "Okay," she said softly.

"Excellent," he said, suddenly businesslike as he stepped forward, wand in hand, and undid the locks on the door.

She was dazzled by the blinding sunlight when Remus opened the door and stood back to let her walk through first. She squinted and threw up an arm to shield her eyes as she blearily saw Remus tap his wand against the outside of the door and heard the many locks on the other side of the door click into place.

"I didn't know you could lock them from the outside," she said.

Remus nodded, stowing his wand away in his belt. "I'll show you how sometime," he said.

As they started down the stairs, a thought occurred to Mairead.

"I'm buying, though," she piped up. Remus looked as though he were about to object, so she spoke quickly. "Since it's my fault we're not eating a gourmet Molly Weasley meal."

Remus sighed. "I might be more inclined to argue if I had any money with me. Or at all," he said wryly.

"So you're poor, too?" Mairead asked curiously as they set off up the street.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "No, actually, I'm quite wealthy. I just dress like this so I don't make anyone uncomfortable with my more majestic attire."

Mairead looked up at him and saw him smiling teasingly down at her. She laughed breathlessly at her moment of gullibility.

"Not many people are inclined to hire a werewolf," he explained.

"Yeah, same," Mairead said, eyebrows twitching sympathetically. "Except - y'know - Squib."

Remus looked at her curiously. "Do you tell people?" he asked.

Mairead shook her head. "You?"

"No, never," he said emphatically. "But they have a way of finding out. The pattern of my monthly disappearances quickly becomes obvious. Historically, I've always left before anyone could work things out, so I've never been in any one place for very long. Hogwarts was actually the longest span of time I have ever been employed in one place."

Mairead tried to smile winningly. "Ah, the life of a vagabond," she sighed, stretching her arms out to the side as though she were utterly at her ease.

Remus laughed. "Maybe if I were still your age I would agree," he said. "It got old quickly. As did I."

Mairead looked over at him and saw that his expression had shifted. He looked unhappy and even, to her surprise, self-conscious. "You're not old," she said, steps slowing.

He stopped and looked down at her. That strange, indefinable expression she had been seeing more and more on his face was back. "I'm much older than you," he said solemnly.

"No, you're not. You're just a bit older than me. And besides," she continued, "just because you're older than me that doesn't make you old. I'm older than Fleur. Does that make me old?"

A small smile slowly worked its way onto his lips. "I suppose not," he conceded quietly.

She nodded, satisfied, and resumed walking. "So you've worked a lot of odd jobs?"

"Yes," he said. "I suppose we have that in common."

She smiled, pleased at having something in common with Remus, even though it was something that made him unhappy. "What's your favorite job you've ever worked?"

"Hogwarts, definitely," he said without hesitation. "Although that job you had driving cars did sound like it would be a lot of fun."

She grinned. "I'd be happy to recommend you if you ever want to try it out."

He chuckled. "Well, the only problem with that is that I don't know how to drive."

"That would present some difficulties," she mused thoughtfully.

They agreed to stop at a shop that offered pizza by the slice.

"What's your least favorite job you have ever had?" Remus asked when they emerged.

Mairead wrinkled her nose. "Food service, for sure," she said, pressing a wad of serviettes along the top of her slice of pizza, sopping up the grease. "You?"

Remus made a face. "Cleaning bathrooms," he answered.

Mairead looked up in dismay. "Didn't you say you have a more sensitive sense of smell?" she asked.

He nodded, grimacing. Mairead shivered in disgust.

"What is the oddest odd job you have ever had?" he asked her, putting a hand under her slice to support it while she struggled to detach her serviette from the cheese that had lifted off the slice in one glob as she dabbed at it.

Mairead hummed, considering. When she thought of the answer, she said, "Oh!" Then her cheeks grew warm and she debated whether to tell him. Finally, she mumbled, "Erm, once I had to dress up like a banana and hand out condoms at a women's health center."

Remus cocked his head to one side. "What are condoms?" he asked.

Mairead laughed nervously and winced at the shrill note to the sound. "Er... they're, erm... they're like, erm... Muggles use them for, erm, for contraception?"

"Ah," was all he said. Mairead glanced up at him through her hair and saw that he was also looking awkward. After a few seconds he added, "I think making you dress up like a banana was unnecessarily injurious."

"Yeah," Mairead agreed. Wishing desperately for anything that would stop her thinking about his... banana, Mairead asked, "What about you?"

He took a bite of his pizza as he considered her question. After he had chewed and swallowed, he said, "I worked in private investigation for a while."

Mairead's mouth fell open. "Are you serious?!" she asked in astonishment. "How did I not know this?"

Remus shrugged nonchalantly.

"No, don't just shrug it off!" she insisted. "If it were me, that would be, like, the first thing I would tell people when I introduced myself: 'Hi, nice to meet you, Mairead O'Keefe, I worked in private investigation for a while.'"

Remus laughed. "I assure you, it was not nearly so glamorous as I think you might be imagining. Mostly just skulking about in bushes, following people's spouses around."

Mairead dismissed his words with a careless wave. "Remus Lupin: Private Eye!" she said, holding both hands out like she was imagining the words suspended in the air in front of her. He chuckled. "Was anybody actually cheating?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," he said with a twisted smile. "Nearly all of them, as I recall."

Mairead raised her hands in front of her again. "Remus Lupin: Marriage Killer!"

She decided that it was her favorite thing in the world: making him throw his head back laughing.

They finished their pizza but continued to walk, strolling lazily through a nearby park. Mairead felt as though she must have done something exceedingly meritorious to earn this time with him. How often over the past two and a half years had she dreamed of doing just this? Walking at his side, talking aimlessly, stopping for ice cream just because they felt like it. She felt she could easily spend every day of the rest of her life doing nothing else and she would be blissfully happy.

Their conversation gradually turned to more serious subjects. Mairead confided to Remus what it had been like to be rejected or fired from jobs in the magical world because of her last name or her disability. She told him that the experience was lousy either way, but that she mainly felt indignant outrage when she was rejected because of her family ties, whereas (she confessed softly, looking at the ground, aware of him watching her closely but non-judgmentally) when she had been fired because she was a Partial Squib, it had hurt in a way she had thought she had been mentally prepared for, but the blow was heavy nevertheless.

Remus told her about the first time he had been found out at a job, and the way he had not only had to leave the job, but had also been driven out of the town. He told her about what it had been like right after he had been bitten, the look that had been on his mother's face when his father had explained to her what Remus was going to be from then on.

Mairead told him about her first nights at St. Hedwig's. How conflicted she had been, the way the relief she had felt at being out of her father's home had felt like a betrayal to her mother.

The sun was sinking by the time Remus suggested they head back to Grimmauld Place.

"Of course!" Mairead said, jumping up from the park bench they had settled onto she wasn't sure how long ago. "I'm so sorry for keeping you out all day. I didn't mean to take up so much of your time."

Remus shook his head, smiling warmly at her. "Mairead, I can't remember the last time I enjoyed myself so much," he said sincerely. "You are welcome to keep me out all day anytime you want."

Mairead wondered if his hearing was sensitive enough to pick up on the fireworks going off in her belly.


"Hey, is Sirius okay, do you reckon?" Mairead asked as they turned their footsteps back towards Grimmauld Place.

Remus sighed and considered his words before responding. "Sirius is... a restless person," he said slowly. "He has never done well under constraints, and he has always passionately hated being made to sit on the sidelines."

"And he hates his parents' house," Mairead added. "And that's precisely where he's stuck." She sighed heavily. "He must feel like he escaped from one prison just to land squarely back in another, but this one designed to torment him specifically."

Remus was startled by Mairead's piercing insight. He looked down at her as they walked, and his heart was temporarily wrecked by the way the rosy sunset made her skin appear luminous, and the way her hair seemed to glow. She glanced up at him when she noticed his staring and he saw how lovely the green color of her eyes looked by the light of the setting sun. He became aware of an urge clawing at the back of his mind to run his fingers through her curls. He had touched her hair once or twice in the past, and he remembered how soft it had been. Yearning hit him like a brick wall to reach out and touch a lock of her hair now, run it between his fingers. He blinked and looked away before he could act on impulse.

"Yes, I imagine that's exactly how he feels," he said, returning his mind to the subject at hand.

"Is there anything we can do for him?" she asked, sounding anxious. "I... I'm a bit worried about him."

"You're doing more than you know," said Remus. "Just being around someone is good for him. Sirius has a tendency to isolate himself just when he needs company the most."

Mairead nodded, taking this in. "I suppose that makes sense," she mused. "If his worst fear is to be left all alone, then he's probably seeking some modicum of control by going off by himself. Because if he's the one to leave, then he's not the one who was rejected."

Remus's footsteps slowed until he stopped. Mairead stopped, too, and faced him. "You're very perceptive," he said quietly.

Mairead shook her head. "No, I'm not," she said dismissively. "I've just been around him a lot lately."

Remus laughed, amused. What was more: he saw his opportunity and seized it. "When are you going to learn to take a compliment?" he asked, reaching out and tugging gently on the end of one of her curls, knowing he could get away with it when he was teasing her.

She blushed, and Remus felt a thrill go through him as he watched the color rise in her cheeks. "Not today," she mumbled her customary response. She shyly met his eyes, and as he watched, her eyebrows twitched and she cocked her head slightly to one side. He saw the merest flash of her tongue as she moistened her lips, parting them as she looked at him curiously.

Now would be the perfect time to kiss her.

Remus startled as the thought floated to the surface of his brain, the functions of which had slowed to the speed of a Flobberworm. He inhaled sharply as he returned to his senses, catching an enticing whiff of her sweet scent as he did. He carefully rearranged his features, tucking away anything that might have been too revealing on his face, and continued on towards Grimmauld Place.

"Since you're so insightful," he said, hoping to return to safe territory, "perhaps you'll have noticed if anything seems... off about Harry?"

Mairead's foot caught on an uneven bit of pavement and she stumbled for several steps before righting herself. "Erm, Harry?" she repeated, her voice a bit higher than usual.

Remus nodded. "He's the one I'm worried about," he said. "He's been through so much, and Molly told me that Ron mentioned Harry's been muttering in his sleep, having nightmares... his scar seems to be hurting him quite frequently. But more than that he... he just doesn't seem to be himself. Have you noticed anything?"

Mairead was blinking rapidly, watching her feet as she walked. "I don't know Harry very well," she said, rather quicker than her usual speed of talking. "And I haven't bumped into him too much since his arrival here."

"Perhaps you could talk to him," Remus suggested. "Molly's going to pester you to stay for dinner anyway. Could you please... observe him and let me know what your thoughts are?"

"I - I dunno," she said hesitantly. "Like I said, I don't know him very well and... maybe you should talk to Ron, or Hermione or Ginny."

Remus looked over at her and saw that she looked uncomfortable in the extreme. She was shifting her shoulders nervously and her eyes were darting around the street. Her fingers were twisting around themselves and she was biting hard on her bottom lip. Remus wanted to smack himself.

Harry was the reason Mairead didn't want to be at Grimmauld Place.

It made perfect sense. Harry was the last person to have seen Mairead's best friend alive. Harry was the person who had watched him die. Mairead had been at the Third Task, and so she would have seen Harry return with Cedric's body. Harry must be inextricably linked with Cedric - and his death - in Mairead's mind.

Remus forced a casual smile onto his face and a carefree air into his voice as he spoke. "Do you know, I actually hadn't thought of talking to Ron myself," he said lightly. "That's a great suggestion. I'm sure he'll know what's going on. Thank you, May."

Beside him, Mairead's footsteps slowed, then came to a stop. Remus stopped and turned to look at her. Remus was not too modest to acknowledge that he was a fair actor. Anyone else would have been convinced by his nonchalance.

One glance at Mairead told him that she didn't buy it for a second.

She was still blinking quickly. She pulled both lips into her mouth and looked off to the side. She swallowed, but her voice was still hoarse when she said, "I'll also keep an eye out at dinner and see if I notice anything."

Remus closed the distance between them, and nothing was in his mind but offering her comfort when he placed his hands lightly on her shoulders. "You don't have to, May," he said in a low voice.

She smiled up at him, but he could see that it was heavy with nerves and sadness. "No, I should come to dinner. It's not fair that I ditched Mrs. Weasley at lunch. I don't want her to..." She shook her head. "I dunno."

Remus held onto her for a few moments more, searching her expression for signs that this would be too much for her to handle. He wanted more than breathing to hold her in his arms, but things had become so mixed up in his head that he couldn't tell whether his motives for doing so were pure, and so he released her and stepped back. They continued walking, and soon turned the corner onto Grimmauld Place.

"Besides," she said, sounding somewhat more like herself as they approached number twelve. "I wanted to get started on another batch of Wolfsbane Potion today."

"Oh, please don't trouble yourself over -"

"Nope," she cut him off. "The full moon is in two weeks, which means I only have one week to get the potion right. It takes two days to make, so I should have three more chances at getting it right if I hustle."

Remus shook his head, giving in to her determination. He stood aside to let her walk through the door to number twelve first, and the two of them took out their wands and began redoing the locks, Mairead handling the Charms that were used, and Remus casting the protective wards that Mairead could not.

"Oh," Mairead whispered, and Remus felt her rest her hand tentatively on his forearm for the briefest of seconds. "D'you mind coming upstairs for a quick second?"

Remus followed Mairead as she led the way to her potions lab. Once inside, Mairead walked up to one of her work surfaces, picked up a pile of what Remus recognized as his own clothing, and handed it to him.

"I'm sorry I didn't get these back to you sooner," she said. "Thank you for letting me borrow them. I've laundered them and everything, so they should be set."

Desire slammed into Remus like a Bludger as he involuntarily recalled the way Mairead had looked that day. She had stepped into the kitchen, water dripping off the ends of her hair and the cuffs of her denims, and she had been shivering. Her drenched clothing had clung to every single, solitary curve on her lovely body, and when she had approached the table to look at the chessboard, a quick glance at her had revealed the outline of her bra through her thin shirt. And right in the center, like the dots of two exclamation points, hardened by the chill she had caught...

Remus blinked, trying to come out of the memory. Damn it, what was the last thing she said?

Laundry. Laundered.

"You didn't have to launder them," he said, accepting the clothing. "I was happy to lend them."

She smiled sweetly, and in that moment she was everything Remus had never known he had always wanted. "I hope they don't smell like potions ingredients now," she said, her smile fading into a concerned frown. "I meant to bring them to you straightaway, but then Fred went and poisoned himself with a doxy and - oh, by the way, I think Fred and George might be experimenting on themselves in some way."

Remus couldn't help but laugh, relieved as he was that they were returning to safer subjects - despite how insane it was that two teenage boys intentionally poisoning themselves was safer than the thoughts that had been filling up his filthy, disgusting mind and making his face feel unnaturally warm.

He excused himself to return his clothing to his bedroom while Mairead went down to the basement to offer her help with dinner preparations.

He was coming out of his room again when he heard Sirius's deep voice booming out.

"There you are." Sirius strode towards him, eyes moody. "Where did you disappear off to?" he asked suspiciously.

Remus sighed. He supposed it had been unrealistic to think that his absence would go unnoticed by his best friend. "Molly wanted Mairead to eat something, and Mairead didn't want to eat here. So we went and got something to eat," he said in a carefully guarded tone.

Sirius's mouth fell open. His entire expression lightened, the foul mood he had been flinging at everyone all day instantaneously forgotten. "Holy shit, you and Mairead went on a date?" he exclaimed.

"No!" Remus said, looking around frantically to make sure no one had heard. Conscious of the fact that they were standing next to Fred and George's bedroom, Remus grabbed Sirius and pulled him back into his own room. "It was not a date," he added emphatically once they were safe inside Remus's bedroom. "We just went and got something to eat."

"Together," Sirius clarified. "By yourselves. No chaperone or smelling salts."

Remus threw his hands up in exasperation. "It was not a date!" he repeated. "It was just a meal!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Oh? And what did you spend the other -" he checked his watch, "four hours doing?" Sirius looked up from his watch, blue eyes wide and a look of tense excitement on his face, like a dog whose owner had just taken out a ball. "What did you spend the other four hours doing?" he repeated.

Remus glared at Sirius. "We talked," he said firmly, closing his mind off to the other ways he could put four hours alone with Mairead to good use. "We went for a walk in a park. It was not a date."

Sirius was unfazed by Remus's warning stare. "You got something to eat, you talked, and you went for a long walk in a park. Do me a favor. Describe for me what you, Remus Lupin: Extreme Gentleman, would do on a typical first date with a woman."

Remus's retort died in his throat.

Sirius folded his arms, a satisfied smile pulling up one corner of his mouth.

Remus took a calming breath, but found that it did nothing to calm him down. "This is your fault," he snapped, atypically petulant. "You're the one who told me that I should spend more time with Mairead. See if there was 'something there.'"

Sirius nodded. "And?"

Remus crumbled. He sat down on his bed and buried his face in his hands. He spoke without lifting his head, his voice muffled by his fingers. "I'm going straight to hell."

"Mairead can help you with that. She doesn't believe in hell."

Remus nodded morosely. "She gave Christianity up for Lent," he recalled her joke from long ago.

Sirius barked out a laugh. "God, I like her," he said, then, "And you do, too, don't you?"

Remus lifted his head out of his hands and regarded Sirius hopelessly. "It would be so much easier if I didn't," he said, feeling pathetic. "In a way, it would be much easier to cope if I... if this -"

"If you just wanted to fuck her," Sirius supplied.

Remus winced and thought of correcting Sirius, but then, he himself had been searching for a more civilized way of saying that he did, in fact, very badly want to fuck Mairead. "Why is this happening?" he whispered instead. "Why her? Why couldn't it be someone less sweet, less lovely? Someone I wouldn't care quite so much about hurting? Why couldn't I fall for someone else - anyone else? Why does it have to be the one person I care about most?"

Dimly, Remus realized that he had never voiced that out loud. He felt the bed dip as Sirius sat down beside him.

"I think you just answered your own question, mate," he said.

Remus let Sirius's words percolate in his mind. He was still mulling them over when they went down to the kitchen to find dinner preparations in full swing. Remus resented the way his eyes automatically scanned the room, searching for Mairead. He found her standing at one of the counters, chopping onions, sniffling and tossing her head, making agonized faces as tears leaked out of her eyes.

"Aw, come now, Mairead," Fred Weasley was saying, slinging an arm over her narrow shoulders. "Buck up. After all, it's like they say: laugh and the world laughs with you -"

"Cry and you cry alone," George finished in a sage tone, stepping up to her other side and throwing his own arm overtop his brother's.

Mairead glowered at them, knife pointed ominously upwards. "I'm not going to be crying alone if you don't leave off in the next three seconds," she growled.

Remus and Sirius joined in the laughter that followed, and Mairead looked around at the sound.

"Sirius!" she called happily. "Hello!"

"Hey, Gryffindor," Sirius said, grinning at her. "Don't let those onions give you any shit, yeah?"

She beamed at him, and Remus could see in her eyes that she was thrilled Sirius had at last come out of his funk. "Nope, I think I've shown them who's boss, so," she said, tossing her head to try to remove a lock of hair that was clinging to her wet cheek.

Sirius went over to Mairead and grinned doggishly at her, tucking the stray strand of her hair behind her ear for her. Remus took in the scene before him: warm kitchen, full of chatter and laughter, friends talking and bantering, Sirius flirting innocently with Mairead, who rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

In the middle of all the noise and bustle, the beautiful, chaotic domesticity of chosen family preparing a meal together, Mairead's eyes flitted over and found Remus's. The world grew quiet and still. Like an arrow flying straight and true to its destination, Remus felt something notch into place. The world might be crumbling, the house they were all staying in was definitely falling apart, but in the midst of all of that, Remus had found what he wanted.

And what he wanted was Mairead O'Keefe.


Author's Note: D'awww! Look at Remus being all sappy! What do you think? Was that enough fluff for you? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thank you for reading!

Song for Chapter 11: "Everything Has Changed," by Taylor Swift (Remus)