Chapter 7: Bustopher Jones

Just as Grizabella disappeared, a fat black-and-white gentleman tom cat, holding an ice cream spoon, walked onto the stage. He looked at his reflection in the spoon, fiddling with his mustache. "Look at this fat cat." Ron said. "Well, doesn't he look dashing." Padma said. "He is quite a looker. It's making it hard for me not to purr." Intress said as she purred. "I must admit, he looks really good in a suit." Maxxor said. "I wonder who this cat is." Ginny said. "He's probably another contender for the Jellicle Choice." Hermione deduced. "Well, let's let the cats sing and find out." Harry said as Jennyanydots started to sing.

[Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town]

Jennyanydots: Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones

Bombalurina: In fact, he's remarkably fat

Jellylorum: He doesn't haunt pubs,

Jennyanydots: He has 8 or 9 clubs,

All 3: For he's the St. James' Street Cat

Bustopher greeted his fellow cats and their guests as the 3 Queens continued.

Jennyanydots: He's the cat we all greet as he walks down the street

In his coat of fastidious black

Bombalurina: No commonplace mousers have such well-cut trousers

Jellylorum: Or such an impeccable back

Jennyanydots: In the whole of St. James's the smartest of names is

The name of this Brummel of cats

All 3: And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to

By Bustopher Jones in white spats

Munkustrap saluted to Bustopher as he saluted back. He and Quaxo guided him as a few cats brought in a man-sized top hat.

Toms: In the whole of St. James's is the smartest of names is

The name of this Brummel of cats

And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to

By Bustopher Jones in white spats

Skimble dusted off the top hat before Bustopher seated himself on it as he started to sing himself.

Bustopher Jones: My visits are occasional to the Senior Educational

And it is against the rules

For any one cat to belong both to that

And the Joint Superior Schools

For a similar reason, when game is in season

I'm found not at Fox's, but Blimp's

I am frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen

Which is famous for winkles and shrimps

In the season of ven'son, I give my ben'son

To the Pothunter's succulent bones

And just before noon's not a moment too soon

To drop in for a drink at the Drone's

When I'm seen in a hurry, there's probably curry

At the Siamese or at the Glutton

If I look for a gloom, then I've lunched at the Tomb

On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton

All: In the hall of St. James's is the smartest of names is

The name of this Brummel of cats

And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to

By Bustopher Jones in white

Bustopher Jones in white

Bustopher Jones in white spats

As Bustopher nearly fell off his seat, Munkustrap and Quaxo helped him steady himself on his feet.

Jennyanydots: So, much in this way, passes Bustopher's day,

At one club or another he's found

It can be no surprise that under our eyes

He has grown unmistakably round

He's a twenty-five pounder

Bustopher Jones: Or I am a bounder

Jennyanydots: And he's putting on weight everyday

Bustopher Jones: But I'm so well preserved because I observed

All my life a routine and I'd say

I am still in my prime: I shall last out my time

Jennyanydots: That's the word from this stoutest of cat

All: It must and it shall be spring in Pall Mall

When Bustopher Jones wears white

Bustopher Jones wears white

Bustopher Jones wears white spats

"Toodle-Pip!" Bustopher said as he gave the flower on his coat to Jennyanydots, making her faint out of being flustered. Harry and his team applauded as the number ended. "He's quite the cat." Seamus said. "Yeah. That was brilliant." Ron said. "I've never been one for fat cats, but he is quite the charmer. But as I said, not into fat cats." Carmelita said.

Suddenly, thunder clapped and police sirens wailed, startling everyone. Bustopher got frightened and took off. "Macavity!" Demeter hissed. The cats quickly took cover as Munkustrap looked around cautiously before leaping off the stage. The heroes drew their weapons and looked around. Suddenly, a poster flew into Ron's face. Hermione peeled it off and looked at it. "Macavity. Wanted for everything." She read. "I wonder who this Macavity is." Parvati said. "Sounds like a really bad pussy cat." Maxxor said. "Let's hide. He might be coming this way." Harry said. The heroes took off and hid around the junkyard.