Chapter 29
"What is it, Suhayl?" Tim asked.
For a long moment, there was silence.
And it was more than a little awkward.
"What is wrong with you?" Suhayl asked, bluntly.
"What do you mean?" Tim asked, although he didn't really need to ask.
"You are acting as you did before. You are afraid. You are frightened of nightmares. Even though what has happened is wrong, you are more afraid than you should be. Why?"
Tim looked away, wondering how to answer that question. Suhayl wouldn't let him get away with saying nothing. He just wasn't like that.
"You have a family. You have good things in your life. Why are you so afraid? After all that has happened, all that you have done, this should not be the way you are. What has happened to you?"
Tim looked at Suhayl for a moment and then stared and his hands.
"I'm weak, Suhayl."
"No, you are not weak. That is why I am questioning. You have never been weak except in your mind, but the last time I saw you, you were not weak in your mind."
Tim could see that Suhayl wouldn't let him talk around it, and for whatever reason, Tim always felt he had to be honest with Suhayl. No prevaricating.
"A few years ago..." He took a breath. "I was taken...and they made me do what I have promised myself I would never do."
"How?"
"They threatened my family. They threatened what matters most to me. And then, when I was finally rescued, someone I knew was killed. They were going to shoot me and he chose to get shot instead. He died... Right there in front of me. I can still see him bleeding out on the ground." Tim looked up again. "It was Ray."
"I am sorry to hear of his death," Suhayl said. "After all you did to save him, you feel responsible."
Tim nodded and then sighed. "And... Suhayl, I broke. Everything I was doing was hard on me, but seeing Ray die broke me. Yes, I am weak now. I keep trying to be better, but I'm not. I'm afraid all the time that it's going to happen again. I'm afraid someone else will have to die for me because I'm too important. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to betray what I believe in because I need to protect my family. I'm willing to kill to keep them safe, but I know I would struggle with that, too. Suhayl, I..." Tim looked down again, his throat tightening ominously. "It's been over two years since then and... and every time I think I'm making headway, I can't. And now, it's happening again, just like I was afraid of and I know that people must have died to protect us. And you don't have to say it. I know. But..."
Tim really didn't want to cry in front of Suhayl. Suhayl was so strong and controlled and he felt like nothing in comparison. Especially now. He was on shaky ground. Tim closed his eyes and pressed the heels of his hands against his forehead.
There was a long silence as Tim tried to regain enough control of himself that he didn't just start crying.
Then, he was startled by a hand on his shoulder.
"Asfu," Suhayl said.
Tim looked over at Suhayl in surprise.
"What?"
"I am sorry," he said. "What you say is not weakness. It is pain. It is injury. If it takes time to heal, that is to be expected... if you are trying. Are you?"
"Yes. I'm failing, but..."
"No. That is your weakness, Tim," Suhayl interrupted. "You are trying. That is not failing. If you continue to try, you will succeed, even if it takes time. It is weakness when you assume that you have failed simply because you struggle."
"But my struggle hurts others around me," Tim said. "Suhayl, I can feel it building up inside me. I don't know if I can keep it together... I don't know if I can handle it."
"Then, you must try and you must ask for help when you know you need it. Sometimes, we must push through our pain because there is no other choice, but it is a mistake to push through pain when others may help. That is for physical pain and for the pain in your mind. Just as you should not have hidden your pain in your feet during the night, you should not hide your pain in your mind. It only means that it will take longer to recover."
"I'm not. Zahara knows about it. She has to live with it. All the time."
"Then, you will have the help you need, and you must accept it." Then, suddenly Suhayl became all business. "We will stay here for now. Your friends may find you as they did before. If it is necessary, we may find some way to ask for help, but for now, you may rest and feel safe."
"I don't," Tim said.
"You can try," Suhayl said, with the faintest twinkle in his eyes. "For now, we have a tent for you and your family to stay in. Will Omar stay with you, too?"
"Yes," Tim said. "I know it's probably not considered appropriate for you, but he's not going to accept having to stay somewhere else when his purpose in being here is to protect me and my family."
"I understand. You are correct that this is not normally done, but I will ensure that the diwan do not complain."
"Should I avoid speaking with your daughter? I know that the other times I was here I rarely saw any women at all and I know I didn't speak to them."
Now, Suhayl actually smiled.
"It should be that you would not, but Samia will not accept that, and she is known to be rebellious at times, but please do not speak with her alone in a tent."
"Okay. I can handle that."
"I will ensure that she does as well."
Tim did smile at that.
"Now, do your feet still hurt you?"
"Yes, some. Not like last night."
"Then, rest. There is nothing you need to do now but wait."
"Suhayl, I have to ask this. What if you're wrong and they track us here?"
Suhayl raised an eyebrow. "Then, we will fight. As will you."
Tim nodded and stood up. Suhayl did as well and they left the tent.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
It was late in the evening, but Roy was still sitting at his desk. He'd already called his wife and told her not to expect him. As bad as it was that Tim and his family were under threat, things were threatening to become even more messy. The worst of it was that he couldn't even pass this off to someone else. Not only was Tim his personal responsibility, he also couldn't admit to what he now knew. Not without either losing his job or causing a war. Neither was a good outcome as far as Roy was concerned.
The question was what to do about it. He couldn't send his people in blind in good conscience, but he was now worried that there was no way to end this well. Edwards had reported going on 24-hour blackout while they did some moving around in the hopes of avoiding being tracked by whoever might be part of it. That gave Roy time to decide what he was going to do. He hadn't yet heard from the NSA, and he was loath to call Levi at this hour, knowing that he'd be asleep and needing that rest.
Finally, he made a dangerous decision and headed to the control center.
"What is it, Director?" the technician asked.
"I need you to put in a call to the FBI, ask for Director Norton and say that it's urgent."
"Yes, sir."
He didn't know for sure how this would go, but Norton had demanded to be kept in the loop in the past. He couldn't complain about being kept out when Roy gave him inconvenient information.
"Director, they are asking how important this is. It's late."
Roy raised an eyebrow.
"You tell them that the director of the CIA has an urgent message for the director of the FBI and they don't get to determine whether it's important enough to pass on or not. They just need to get him in the room."
"Yes, sir."
A few more silent minutes passed.
"He's ready," the technician said.
"Put him on the screen and then leave the room. This is to be completely private. No record."
"Yes, sir."
The technicians both left the room as Norton's rather irritated face came into view.
"What's this all about, Roy?" Norton demanded. "I was ready to head home... three hours ago."
Roy smiled slightly.
"You said you wanted to be kept in the loop. Could you dismiss your staff from the room on your end?"
Norton's eyes widened just slightly and then he looked away from the camera and gestured. There was silence for a few seconds.
"All right. They're gone. What's this about?"
"Tim McGee."
"Again?"
"Yes."
"What about him?"
"He and his family were visiting family in Cairo and have had to go on the run. Four of my agents were killed, two injured and one appears to be with Agent McGee. His brother-in-law has been abducted, probably as leverage to get control of Agent McGee."
"And? What are you expecting from me?"
"Assistance in any way you can give it."
"The FBI doesn't typically operate that way in other countries."
"I know. That's not what I'm asking for. It has to do with who is after him."
"And? Who is it this time? Or do I not want to know?"
"You don't want to know."
Raised eyebrow. "Who is it?"
"Russia."
Norton became very still.
"Russia," he said slowly and then paused. "Not Russians?"
"Not Russians. Russia."
"How sure are you of this?"
"Enough that I'm asking you for help."
Another silence. Then, Norton swore very creatively and walked out of the view.
Roy waited.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x
Tony and Ziva walked out of the airport in Jeddah with Hammami and Drake.
"So now what?" Tony asked. "Do we wait here and hope that there's something to tell us exactly where to go or do we start looking?"
"That depends," Hammami said. "Do you have any particular reason to look in a specific place?"
"If he's with the bedouins, they were in Najran province before, but that was years ago and they're nomadic," Ziva said. "I am not sure that going there would be useful. I am not familiar with how wide the range of this tribe is."
"We know that they were in Yemen at one point, but also in Saudi Arabia," Tony added. "So we could head further south, but really, I have no idea if that would be right. Unfortunately, we had almost no interactions with them. Only Tim did."
"Right. Well, unless you have a major objection, I propose that we get a hotel room for the night and see if we can either figure something out or get information once the blackout period ends," Hammami said. "Does that work for you?"
Tony nodded.
"Okay. I don't like splitting up, but let's each take a taxi to the Radisson Blu Hotel. It's a little pricy, but it'll be more secure and less suspicious. We'll see if we can get rooms close to each other."
"That is fine," Ziva said.
They got their taxis and headed to the hotel. It was quite nice, looking out on the Red Sea. If they were there on vacation, it would be great, but Tony didn't care about the view at all.
Once the four of them got to the hotel, they got two rooms next door to each other and then Tony and Ziva went into their room and sat down.
"I don't feel like we're really any closer," Tony said. "We might be geographically, but we still don't know where Tim is."
"But we can know that he is likely safe," Ziva said. "That matters."
"It won't matter to Tim when he finds out that Ahmed has been taken," Tony said. "And there's no way we can hide that from him."
"Perhaps the CIA will find him before we find Tim."
"Yeah, maybe."
Ziva took Tony's hand and squeezed it.
"Focus on what we can do. Right now, we are waiting, but soon, we will have a chance to find out where Tim is. We can do nothing for Ahmed right now, but we can make sure that Tim and Zahara and their family is safe. If we can do that, then, the CIA can focus on trying to find Ahmed and make sure that he is safe."
"And when he isn't?" Tony asked. "Then, what?"
"I don't know," Ziva said. "I only know that we must take things a step at a time. That is all we can do."
Ziva let him go and rubbed at her wrists for a moment, touching the scars that would always be there. Tony reached out and gently stopped her. Then, he brought one of her wrists to his lips and kissed it. Ziva smiled at the gesture.
"I wish that kissing it really would make it better," Tony said.
"It does," Ziva said. "It doesn't make the scars go away, but it does make it better. That is all we can do. No matter what."
Tony nodded and the settled in to wait for something to let them know where to go.
