Chapter 3. The Sanctuary

Content warning: Mild sexual content

Ma was still meditating when she became aware of Ben watching her. At almost eleven years old he had mostly been in the company of Ma, his grandmother, and Jade, his mother. His father had died when he was still a small child so he had no memories of Dad himself, just those his mother and Ma shared with him. He sat watching Ma, wanting to ask her a question but he knew that he couldn't interrupt the meditation until she told him so. So he waited and watched. Eventually she smiled and gave him her full attention.

"Go ahead, ask," she said. "I know you want to voice it."

"Are the Heroes coming for us?" he asked.

"Yes, they are," she replied. "One of them has a dog and he has already become friends with your mother. I'm sure he will be friends with you as well."

"Will they like me?" he said. "Or will they think I am strange?"

"They can think you are strange and still like you," she replied. "But I don't think they will find you too strange. Just different because you haven't been raised as other children."

"I dreamed of one of the Heroes," he said. "Mom shared her dream with me. I think she loves him."

"Your mother has some clairvoyant abilities," she said. "But it's not a sure thing. He is considered strange himself. His past is complicated and was filled with pain and then sadness. He's a watcher like you so you have that in common. Just be yourself."

"I'm going to read," he said. "What book should I bring with me?"

"The Hobbit," said Ma, smiling. "Definitely The Hobbit."

And the fire in your eyes keeps me alive

I'm sure in her you'll find sanctuary

She Sells Sanctuary by The Cult

The two vehicles bounced through the rough ground of the Badlands. Jade sat in the front seat of the modified Crown Victoria driven by Steve. Bucky sat in the back with Wanda. The second vehicle was driven by Clint with Peter riding shotgun, Maria in the back and Sam flying overhead. He deployed RedWing watching for signs of the TheOthers. All of them were armed, even Jade. Bucky had come to her a few days after her arrival and asked if she knew how to fire a gun. She said no and Bruce let her go with Bucky to learn. She knew that wasn't the only reason he wanted to teach her. This was a way for him to get close to her and she liked that. He was a big man, with broad shoulders, a well-defined torso, and muscular legs. Jade barely came to his shoulder, and he had leaned into her to show her how to hold the rifle properly. The recoil pushed her back into his chest and he held her by her arms to steady her. She liked how he spoke to her. His voice was calm and steady, never angry or disturbed. When she scored a bullseye on her eighth shot, he praised her, and she felt like she accomplished something. After the session was over, he took the rifle from her then removed her ear protection and looked down at her. She looked up at him. Ma had always taught her to look everyone in the eye so there was no mistaking your intentions, or theirs. She had again showed him the image of them kissing, just a flash of it. For a moment she thought he would, but he stepped back and put the headphones back on her head for the next lesson. When he taught her to shoot a handgun the same thing happened, except he touched her hand with his when he positioned her hand on the gun.

Now, back in the car, she knew he was looking at her. Wanda noticed and they had a conversation in their minds about him.

"He does like you," said Wanda. "But he feels disloyal to Lily about liking you.

"He shouldn't," said Jade. "She wants him to move on."

"I would feel the same if I became attracted to someone," replied Wanda. "I still love Vision too much."

"But you haven't been attracted to anyone since he died," said Jade. "Bucky is attracted to me. He should follow through."

"You're right," said Wanda. "Give it some more time. He'll come around."

"Thank you for coming back," said Jade. "You and Ma are going to get along so well. With three of us making a coven we can find that queen. I know, technically Ma and I aren't witches but historically women with our abilities have been lumped in with witches."

Wanda laughed. "I'm okay with being in a coven with you. You're right, we are more powerful together."

"Which way, Jade?" asked Steve. "The wash splits here."

"The left one," she replied. "Tell Sam to be on extra guard here. Some Others have explored this area."

Steve touched an earpiece and relayed the message to Sam. They bounced around some more as Steve drove over the dry creek bed. Good thing they had spent time reinforcing the undercarriage of their vehicles otherwise they would have already had serious damage.

"How is it you have gas for your vehicles?" asked Jade. "Especially this far out of a populated area?"

"They aren't gas powered," said Steve. "They're powered by something called an Arc Reactor. Howard Stark invented them, and his son improved on the design. We found blueprints for miniature ones to power vehicles and adapted them to these vehicles. They never run out of power."

"That's amazing," said Jade. "No pollution, either, right? Isn't that amazing Bucky?"

She turned around to look at him, flashing her full green eyes on him. He smiled and agreed with her then looked out the window. Wanda gave her a little shrug and a smile and Jade turned back to look out the front. They turned a corner in the dry river bed and Jade instructed Steve to go up the slope on the right. He followed the instructions and drove another mile then Jade told him to stop. Wanda leaned forward.

"Others," she whispered. "Very close. Jade, I can give them a false sighting and send them on a wild goose chase. I would rather do that than have a firefight this close to the Sanctuary. We are close, aren't we?"

"We are," said Jade. "Can I boost your powers?"

"No, I can do it alone," she said. "You tell Ma and Ben to get ready. Steve, you and Clint need to turn your vehicles around when I tell you."

Wanda put her hands together and conjured the familiar red glow between them. Steve powered down her window and she put her hands out into the air and released the ball. It flew through the air then exploded into a vision of them racing over the far riverbank away from their location. She counted to twenty then told Steve to drive forward a hundred yards and turn around. Jade nodded and sent a message to Ma and Ben. A shimmering appeared about twenty yards behind them. Bucky got out of the back seat and watched as a white haired woman and brown haired boy wearing backpacks started running to them. Sam hovered above and the others in the other vehicle were all hanging out the windows with guns.

"They aren't going to get here in time," said Bucky and he sprinted for them.

Jade watched in amazement as he ran faster than any man she had ever seen. Scooping up both Ma and Ben he ran back and put them in the back seat with Wanda. Then he told Jade to move over, and he sat next to her. Putting his arm around her shoulder he looked in the back seat and told Ma and Ben to buckle up. Jade was already buckling up Bucky.

"They're coming back!" yelled Wanda and Steve pressed the accelerator. With the Arc Reactor powering the car they were able to get to top speed in seconds. Steve followed the GPS that had recorded the way in for the turns to get back out. Bucky kept looking behind and finally turned his head forward. His arm stayed around Jade's shoulder.

"They aren't following,"he said, then he pressed his comms. "Sam, keep watching our rear."

An hour later they pulled up to the bunker and spilled out of the vehicles as Sam landed. Bucky watched with a smile as Jade hugged her son and mother, laughing and crying at the same time. She came to Bucky and motioned for him to put his head down, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you for saving Ma and Ben," she said. "You were so fast, and it made a difference."

"You're welcome," he replied, touching her arm. "Come on, I'll help take their backpacks in."

When the Bunker had been designed it was meant to be a backup facility only. Things had been kept very basic. The walls were concrete, windows were little more than narrow strips across the top of a room to let in natural light and it was almost completely underground with an exposed sunken courtyard. Being underground kept it at a constant temperature of about 65 degrees. Pipes had been driven deep underground and a heat pump drew up warm air to bump the temperature to 72 degrees year round. Solar panels and batteries provided the power and a deep well provided the water but they still conserved it so as not to adversely affect the water table. Tony Stark had designed a suite for himself and Pepper with two bedrooms and a shared bathroom between them. Even though the Bunker was built in the year after he died they kept the plan the same out of respect for him. Everyone else had a single bedroom, sharing a bathroom with their neighbour. Bucky had lived in the suite when Lily was expecting but since her death had stayed in a single bedroom unit like the others. The suite had been used for meetings since then but now that there was a family they were turning it over to Jade, her mother and son. He opened the door to the suite and dropped their packs on the couch, then showed them the bedrooms and the single bathroom.

"We eat all of our meals in the common room," he said. "There's no set timetable except for supper which is 6 pm. Once a month we go on a food and provisions run to Albuquerque so if there is anything you want put it on the list on the fridge. I'll let you get settled in."

"Bucky," said Ma, coming forward with her hand out. "Thank you for helping us. I knew the Heroes were good people but you're better than I thought."

He touched her hand, expecting a psychic connection but Jade had already warned her of his uneasiness and she kept it turned inward. He nodded and started out the door then stepped back.

"Ben, we have a library here," he said. "There's all sorts of good reading material for a boy your age. Check it out when you have a chance. There's Lego as well, as Peter is kind of into it."

Ben smiled and thanked Bucky. Out in the hallway Bucky leaned against the wall trying to catch his breath. That was the most he had talked to anyone other than Steve, or Bruce in months. His anxiety was high, and he took deep breaths trying to calm himself before he went back down the hallway to the common room. Sam had already made a comment about him watching Jade and he assumed everyone thought he was in love with her. When she first arrived there a week before he would have put them straight but now, he knew there was something there. He knew it when he could smell her freshly washed hair in the shooting range. He knew it when he gripped her arms after the recoil pushed her into his chest. He knew it when he wanted to kiss her after he took her ear protection headphones off. He really knew it when he put his arm around her in the car today. Sighing, he decided he had time for a workout.

He changed into shorts and a long-sleeved T-shirt for his workout. Steve always told him to just wear a regular T-shirt for workouts, but he was still mindful of the arm. Wanting to get rid of the anxiety he felt he started hitting the heavy bag, the reinforced one that Steve used. He was so intent that he didn't notice Jade was in the gym until he turned around and saw her standing there, watching him.

"Hi," he said, unsure of what else to say.

"I wish you would just kiss me already," she said simply. "You're in my head and it's hard to sleep sometimes."

"I'm in your head?" he smirked. "Little girl, you're in my head."

"Only when I've shown you those two images," she answered, walking around the perimeter of the room. "Since I saw your thoughts on Lily, I've stayed out. Anything else is coming from you. And I'm not a girl, I'm thirty-one years old."

"Well, you're a girl to me," he said firmly, pulling the gloves off. "I'm a lot older than you. Why are you here?"

"Because you're alone," she said. "I mean that literally and figuratively."

"You spoke so simply when you first woke up and now, you're using all sorts of big terms," he said derisively. "I'm alone by choice. I don't let people in."

Her path around the perimeter of the room had brought her right to him. It had been so subtle he hadn't even noticed. Now she was right in front of him, just like in the shooting range. He drew a ragged breath. She didn't touch him, just looked at him with those jade green eyes, set in her delicate face, surrounded by her pale blonde hair. She was beautiful in a strangely different way that appealed to him.

"I can be a sanctuary for you," she said softly. "I can stop the nightmares, be your confidant, and your lover. I've seen it but it's up to you. If you want that, just let me in to your heart."

He stepped back, breathing heavy, trying not to look at her then he gulped.

"I don't...deserve it," he whispered. "People I love die. Steve came back to this for me, but he lost his love when he did it. Lily died. The baby died. I'm...poison."

She stepped closer to him and touched his face by placing her palm against his cheek. He pressed into the cool of her hand and it was just her hand, nothing more.

"I thought I was evil when the Children of Adam cast me out," she said. "They called me an abomination; said I would bring destruction upon them. A doomsday cult afraid of a six-year-old. They made my father ride me out on a horse to the middle of the Badlands and leave me there. He was crying but he still did it, he just left me there with no water, or food. I wandered for who knows how long. At night I shivered as I watched the stars fly over me, but it was so beautiful I was entranced, and I accepted that I would die."

"You were six when they did that to you?" he asked, looking earnestly at her. "They were the abominations."

She shook her head. "They were afraid. I was different, not dangerous, but they didn't know the difference. Ma found me. She was different, too, and had cast herself out to live in the desert. She accepted her gift and taught me to accept mine. I'm offering my gift to you because I can help. I want to help you because even though you were dangerous before you're different now. I love different. I love you."

He looked down at her, put his hand on hers and removed it from his face. Every sense in his body was ramped up to its highest level as he looked at this strangely beautiful, ethereal woman who was offering everything she had to give to him. The instinct to run away was so strong but the pull to rest his head in her arms was growing. She said nothing, verbally or mentally, proving to him that it truly was his decision. Just as he was about to say no, he heard a whisper in his mind.

"You need her," said the voice and Bucky recognized it as Lily, his dead wife. "Be with her, my love."

"Did you do that?" he asked, suddenly suspicious.

"I heard her but it wasn't me," said Jade, softly. "I wouldn't manipulate you, Bucky."

He felt the truth in her words but now he couldn't decide what to do. He was saved by the door being flung open and Sam coming in for his workout. Noticing Bucky and Jade standing so close to each other he stopped, raised his eyebrows and hesitated before speaking.

"Sorry, was I interrupting anything?" he said, with a bit of a grin.

"No," said Jade, with disappointment. "I was just leaving."

She turned away from Bucky and left, looking at him once with sad eyes as she walked out into the hallway. Sam started making a comment about awkward moments and Bucky turned on him.

"Shut the fuck up," he snarled and stomped out.

"Shit," said Sam, as Bucky left the room. "I did interrupt."

Bucky didn't come to the evening meal and people commented about how he seemed to be in a surly mood again. Steve watched Jade and her family as the gossip about Bucky flew around the common room. She seemed as unhappy about it as he did. They made eye contact, and he jerked his head slightly to the hallway.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I went to see him, alone," she said. "I want him Steve, and I told him but he wouldn't accept me. Said he was poison, that everyone he loved died or lost someone because of him."

"My wife didn't die because of him," he said. "She came back with me and the Others got her. He blamed himself because I could have stayed in the past with her."

"Why didn't you?" asked Jade.

"Because he was right to come back for me," he said. "The Others, it was too much for them and I knew I could make a difference. Peggy died because she made a mistake and the Others took advantage of it. Not because Bucky came to the past to get me."

"I'm supposed to be with him, Steve," she said. "I've seen it, although Ma says my future viewing is faulty at times. But I do love him, and I've kept out of his mind since that first day, respecting his privacy. I've kept out of everyone's mind."

"His room code is 1917," said Steve after a moment thinking. "Go to him, now, while everyone is at dinner. You won't be interrupted. Only I know the code."

She smiled and touched his arm briefly then went down the hallway to Bucky's room. Entering the code, she heard the door unlock and she stepped inside. It was dark and it took her a moment for her eyes to adjust. As she stepped further in, she heard the sound of a gun safety being unlocked.

"You have two seconds to tell me why you're in my room before I fire this thing," said Bucky's voice, still sounding sleepy but deadly serious.

"Bucky, it's Jade," she said, calmly. "Steve gave me the code to come in. I just want to talk."

She stepped further in to where the light from the window slits illuminated her face. Bucky was in bed, pointing a gun at her. He put the gun on the bed and buried his face into the pillow scrunched up below him before looking at her again.

"I could have shot you," he said. "Everyone knows they don't come in my room when I'm sleeping alone because I could do this. It's a holdover from when I was the Winter Soldier, always on alert, even when I'm sleeping."

She stepped forward and he told her to stay where she was. He got out of bed and Jade saw him nude. Turning around she gave him privacy. She could hear him chuckle behind her.

"I had a shower and didn't get dressed," he said, "It's safe to turn around now. Sit on the chair."

"I'm sorry," said Jade, sitting down. "I shouldn't have come here but Steve said we wouldn't be interrupted."

"He's right about that," said Bucky, who was sitting on the edge of his messy bed, with just his shorts on. "They're all too afraid to come in here. Steve does when I have a nightmare but he's the only one who's stronger than me. I suppose Wanda could handle me as well. Alright, I'll admit Peter kicked my ass before. That's not the point. Why the hell are you here, in my room?"

"To finish our conversation," she said. "You were about to decide when Sam interrupted us."

"I was going to say no, then I heard Lily," he said. "I thought you were manipulating me."

"I wasn't," she said. "In fact, Lily's gone. She's moved on."

"What do you mean?" Bucky's eyes flashed a combination of fear and anger. "Moved on where?"

"To the next life, I guess," said Jade. "I've never followed anyone that far. But I reached out to her and she's not where she was anymore. I think she let you go."

"You're lying," he said.

Jade stood up and offered him her hand. Reluctantly he took it and was in a place with no colour, or sound, just a soft mist all around.

"Call to her," said Jade. "Call Lily."

"Lily?" he said. "Are you there?"

There was no answer and he said she could be making it all up. So she asked him to call someone else, someone recently deceased. He hesitated then called out for Peggy. The mist swirled and a beautiful dark haired woman walked out of the mist.

"Bucky," she said. "Is everything okay with Steve? Is he safe?"

"Peggy, I... I'm sorry," he said. "I brought you both back and you died. It was my fault. I should have left you both there."

She smiled a sad smile at him, then touched his cheek. "No, it's not," she said. "When you told him what was happening he knew he was coming back and I knew I was coming with him. What happened was meant to happen. I'll wait here until he joins me and then we'll move on, like Lily and Jimmy, that's what she named him."

Peggy turned seeing Jade and smiled at her. "Show this to Steve," she said. "Tell him I still love him and will wait until it's his time. We'll have eternity together." She touched Bucky again then walked back into the mist.

Jade dropped Bucky's hand and they were back in his bedroom, in the dark. She stood in front of him, watching and waiting. Slowly he stood up and looked down at her upturned face. Hesitantly he brushed the side of her face with the back of his fingers. Leaning his face towards hers he kissed her softly at first, then as their arms enclosed the other it became more passionate, and their primal instincts kicked in as Bucky lifted her shirt off. Their skin hunger was strong, and they both caressed the other, his hands on her breasts, hers on his chest and shoulders. Just as he was about to unzip her jeans Jade stepped back, pushing him away with both hands on his chest.

"If we do this now I will get pregnant," she said, "unless you have condoms here. I don't think you're ready for a baby with me yet.

Bucky went to the bathroom he shared with Steve and started looking through drawers and the medicine cabinet, returning to the bedroom empty handed.

"In the 40s when a girl I was dating was having her period we just necked and caressed," he said. "I think I can control myself for now. But I do want you and as soon as I find out who has condoms I'm coming for you."

Jade laughed and it sounded like music to him. He picked her up in his arms and they laid on the bed together, kissing, touching and talking. Bucky wanted to make her come with oral sex but she said no, that she wanted to wait until he had those condoms. At one point Ma sent a thought to Jade, asking if everything was alright. She responded that everything was good and she would be staying with Bucky overnight. The response she got back from Ma was full of love and support for both of them. When they finally slept Bucky was spooned behind her, his right arm under her with his hand cupping her left breast. His prosthetic arm came over her body with his hand protecting her belly. She felt as if she was in a loving, warm cocoon. He slept without having a nightmare.