Chapter 64

Tim was out in the backyard again, Marra lying on his chest as he stared up at the clouds. He had successfully got through two weeks of work, although the first week had been only at his desk and he knew Tony was taking it easy on him. Muna and Lara had been welcoming and Tim knew it was sincere. Abby had threatened to smother him the first day and everyone in the building it seemed had stopped by his desk to welcome him back. He and Zahara had explained to the kids that he would be back at work. Salma struggled with it a little but things were slowly improving. In fact, Zahara had taken the kids to the psychologist his first day back at work to see if they could help them get over this initial hump of Tim being gone. Tim hoped that they could get everything as close to normal as possible by the time school started up again. They had a few weeks to work on it. Jonathan wouldn't be in school yet but Salma would be starting first grade and being in school all day would be an adjustment.

Zahara was also pushing him to simply announce to everyone that they were expecting their third child. She had started to deal with morning sickness although it had been thankfully mild, nothing more than minor nausea. They had both noticed her slight bump, but because of the clothes she tended to wear, it wasn't obvious to anyone except them. Still, if they put it off too much longer, she would start to show much more noticeably and then it would seem more like they were actually concealing her pregnancy rather than just waiting. She had been willing to wait but felt that it was well past the time to let everyone know. Tony and Ziva knew but that was all.

There was one other difference to their current situation. Ahmed had been released from the hospital and was currently staying with them. He still hadn't said anything about his final decision of staying in the U.S. or not, but he was staying with them for now. Zahara had managed to convince him to speak to a psychologist. It wasn't Dr. Hicks, but it was in the same building with a different psychologist who had been vetted by the CIA.

As part of his recovery, Tim had taken to lying out in the yard, doing nothing for a period of time every day. Sometimes, it was first thing in the morning. More often, it was in the evening when he got home and the kids were in bed. In the past, this time would have been taken up by searching the internet to see if anyone was talking about him. He was trying to avoid that most of the time, although he did still check it out occasionally.

It wasn't easy, but all in all, it was better, and Tim could even admit that it was better than it had been. It wasn't great at this point, but it was better.

The door opened and Tim sat up. Marra only grumbled a little bit about being disturbed. It was a sure sign that he had given her enough exercise that she was so content to lay on him like this.

"Tim, Tony is here," Zahara said.

"Oh, really? What for?"

"I don't know. He asked to speak with you. Will you come in?"

Tim considered that. He'd rather stay outside since he didn't know what Tony's reason for coming over was.

"Send him on out."

Zahara nodded and went back inside. It wasn't long to wait before Tony came out. Marra jumped up and ran over to him. Tony began riling her up, annoyingly enough.

"Tony, I'd just got her to relax," Tim said.

Tony grabbed one of the balls they used and began waving it around while Marra jumped at him.

"She loves it!"

"And if she bites you, you're not allowed to file a complaint."

Finally, Tony gently tossed the ball and Marra had it in seconds and then ran back but didn't drop it.

"Wouldn't dream of it. She won't bite me. Will you, Marra," Tony said. Then, he grabbed the ball and started a game of tug-of-war with her. Marra started play growling at him and wouldn't let the ball go.

"Did you come over here to play with my dog or to talk to me?"

"Both!"

Tim rolled his eyes.

"Marra, drop it. Stop fighting her, Tony. Marra, drop it."

Marra dropped the ball and then trotted over to Tim who pet her.

"Good girl, Marra. Good girl!" He gave her a treat. "Now, what do you want?"

"Couple of things. First, you ready to go full at work this week?"

"Probably. I appreciate having things be a little easier though."

"No problem. Second thing, how would you feel about having a little... gathering and we both announce that Ziva and Zahara are pregnant?"

"Huh?"

Tony smiled. "I was speaking English, Tim. It's not that complicated. Ziva has started the whole morning sickness thing and it's going to be hard to hide it from everyone no matter how much she'd like to. I was thinking that it might be nice just to get the announcement out of the way."

Tim really wasn't sure why he felt so reluctant to let everyone know. The original reason for his reluctance no longer applied, but still, he hesitated.

"Come on, Tim. Why don't you want to?"

"I don't know, but Zahara wants to let everyone know and if you guys are ready to do it, then, I guess I wouldn't mind. Divide up people's attention. Not all of it will be on us."

Tony raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Why don't you want attention?"

"Who said I don't?"

"You did. Just now."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did. You said you wanted to have less attention. Why?"

Tim shrugged.

"No, Tim. Why?"

Tim took a deep breath and lay down in the grass again. Marra took the opportunity to flop down on him again.

"Until I'm obsolete or dead," he said softly. "Obsolete means no one is paying attention to me anymore. Sounds nice. I wish it would happen."

"That's not why we're paying attention."

"I know. I do know that."

"Then, let us be happy you're around. Because we do like that."

Tim smiled a bit as he stared up at the sky.

"Thanks."

"So you're good with making the announcement together?"

"Yeah."

"Good. How about we have a little mini party, then? We can do it at Gibbs' place so we can bug him."

"Sure."

"Great! I'll get everything set up and you're not allowed to back out."

"Tell Zahara on your way out and she won't let me."

"Done."

"Okay. Was that all you came for?"

"Mostly. And to check on you. You've seemed better."

"I'm trying to be."

"You seem to be succeeding."

"I'm trying to."

"Okay, okay. You don't want to talk about it right now? Fine. I can wait, but we're all noticing. And that's a good thing. What about Ahmed?"

"No decision yet. It's a hard thing for him to think about. Safety versus home." Tim nudged Marra so that he could sit up again. She grumbled a little and then settled with her head in his lap. "Zahara wants him to stay." Tim pet Marra and smiled. "Jonathan wants him to stay here. ...but none of the adults want that."

Tony laughed for a moment. "How much longer will he stay?"

"Don't know. We'll have to talk about it eventually. But we haven't yet."

"I guess you've got the time."

"Yeah."

"Well, I don't want to interrupt any more of your Sunday. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tony got up and started to leave.

"Hey. Find a place yet?" Tim asked.

"Nope. Still arguing about it. Why?" Tony asked in turn.

Tim smiled. "One of my neighbors is going to be moving."

Tony grinned. "Ah. Well, that's something to think about. See ya."

"Bye."

Tony left and Tim lay back down. He really was feeling more settled.

Maybe he'd go to the park to run soon.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Ziva looked at herself sideways in the mirror. She was definitely starting to show. This seemed very early to start getting fat, barely ten weeks, but there was a definite roundness that she couldn't dismiss. A wave of nausea washed over her and she grimaced, willing the feeling to go away. She hated that it seemed her body was out of her direct control, hormones raging whether she wanted them to or not, and her body changing. Even before this rounding of her belly had begun, there had been differences she had felt. A feeling of heaviness that she'd never experienced before, pressure in places that she hadn't had in the past. She supposed that this was how women used to figure out that they were pregnant in the days before pregnancy tests.

Another stronger wave of nausea and Ziva thought she might actually throw up this time. She took a couple of steps toward the bathroom and then the feeling ebbed. She hadn't yet actually thrown up, but it had been close. She knew that morning sickness was normal during pregnancy, but Zahara hadn't ever seemed to be overly inconvenienced by it. Neither had Breena, although Ziva could admit that it might simply be that neither woman had thought to mention it. This was supposed to be something temporary, but Ziva really hoped that it ended sooner rather than later. It was miserable.

She walked back to the bed and lay down on her back. As she lay there, she ran her hands over her abdomen, feeling the bump that was beginning to form there. Next week, they would be having their first ultrasound, the first chance to see the baby. Ziva let her mind dwell on that fact. A baby was growing inside her. She was creating a life with her own body. Over the course of only a few months, a combination of DiNozzo and David genes would develop into a baby. While it still scared her, she was also amazed that it was possible, that this could just happen, that her body somehow knew exactly what to do to take care of this baby as it grew and developed.

Then, suddenly, she felt a surge of sadness. Most women could turn to their own mothers for advice and support during their first pregnancy.

I can't have that.

It wasn't that she had no support. She definitely did. Zahara was already willing to be supportive and Ziva was sure that Breena would as well. ...but they weren't her mother. Unexpected tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about how little family she actually had. Before she knew it, she was crying.

The door opened and she sat up quickly, wiping at her eyes, trying not to show the strange surge of emotion that had taken her by surprise.

"Tim agreed to announce their pregnancy with us so we can get it over with," Tony called from the front room. "Zahara promised she wouldn't let him weasel out of it so we can figure out a good day for it. Do you want to do it before or after the ultrasound?"

Ziva wasn't sure she could speak without making it obvious she'd been crying. She took a breath.

"I'm not sure."

Tony came into the bedroom, looking concerned.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Ziva tried to smile. "Pregnant women are supposed to be emotional, aren't they?"

"I don't know. Are they?" he asked. "...are you?"

Ziva rolled her eyes at herself and looked away. Tony came and sat down on the bed beside her.

"Are you?" he asked again.

"Yes," Ziva said. "I am starting to get fat and... and I just..." The emotions surged again and she couldn't hold back the tears. "I don't have a mother to help me. I don't know why it is hitting me now but... but it is."

Tony hugged her.

"I'm sorry. I can't even offer up my own mother to help out."

"I know. I don't expect you to. It's... It's my own fault for thinking about it. It's been like this for many years. This is no different."

"Yeah, I know, but I can see that it might be harder right now. ...you know... Zahara is in the same boat. Yeah, she can lean on Tim's mom, but her mom died, too. She might be able to help."

"Maybe."

"And one more thing?"

"Yes?"

"You're not fat. You're pregnant. ...and you're not really looking pregnant, either."

Ziva leaned back, grabbed Tony's hand and put it on her stomach. Gently, he rubbed his hand over her abdomen and she saw his eyes widen a little at the small but noticeable bump. He left his hand there for a while and didn't say anything.

"That's our baby in there," he said softly.

"Yes."

"Wow."

He looked at her.

"You're still not fat."

Ziva laughed.

"This is fatter than I have ever been."

"That I can believe. So...we have the first ultrasound next week. Do you want to wait until after that or before?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, if there's something wrong, we don't really want to be celebrating. Maybe it would be better to wait and make sure everything is going the way it should."

Ziva could see the wisdom of that. She nodded.

"Yes, I think that would be better. I am surprised that Zahara is not showing much yet. She is further along than I am."

"Maybe it's because you're so tiny. The baby has nowhere to go but out," Tony said, grinning a little mischievously.

Ziva shoved Tony away and took a breath, feeling more in control of her emotions at the very least. Plus, it did help that Tony was there, supporting her, not running away because things were really starting to get real.

"Feeling any better?" he asked.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Good. So knowing that you're still feeling a bit crappy at times, do you want it to be an actual party or just a moment to have everyone come on over and hear what we have to tell them?"

"Oh, it should be some kind of a dinner, even if I don't eat very much of it."

"This would be easier if you just had the weird pregnancy cravings that they always show women having in comedy movies."

"There is still time for that to happen."

"True. Well, Tim isn't rushing to do this so we have time. I'll tell Zahara that we're waiting until after the ultrasound."

Ziva nodded and then leaned against Tony again and rubbed her hands over her stomach. This was becoming very very real. Surprisingly, it wasn't a bad thing. It was just scary.

"The realtor texted me on my way home. She said she has some places for us to look at north of D.C. if we wanted to check them out today. You up for it?"

"Yes. We should look when we have time and that means today."

Ziva felt a little better at having something definitive she could do in preparation. She stood up and felt a little bit of nausea but pushed it away and then grimaced when Tony leaned over to the bedside table and picked up a couple of ginger candies. Zahara had given them to her and said that they might help. They had to some degree although Ziva hated that she needed anything at all. She also hated that Tony could so easily tell when she felt that annoying nausea. He handed the candies to her.

"If we're going out with the realtor, then, you don't want to be feeling like you're going to throw up."

Ziva took the candy and reluctantly nodded.

This would pass.

Not soon enough, but it would pass.