Chapter 67

Three weeks later...

Ziva was sitting on the couch, trying unsuccessfully to find a comfortable position. It seemed like every position caused discomfort. It was just a matter of which part of her body was the most uncomfortable. She looked around the apartment, wishing they were in their house. They had finally been able to purchase it, but with all the delays, they had decided it was too much to worry about moving when the babies could be born anytime. Tony had offered to get things ready, wanting her to be as comfortable as possible, but Ziva had said it was silly and not practical. Still, she had realized too late that the nesting instinct was a real thing and she was constantly fighting the regret that there was no real space for her babies when they were born.

And it seemed like it really could be any time. Today, in particular, she was extremely conscious of her pregnant body. As she sat there, she ran her hands over her large belly. The skin was tight and it seemed like there was no room for the babies to get any larger. She'd been having the Braxton Hicks contractions all morning, even before Tony had left for work. This was the team's weekend off, but he had gone in to catch up on some paperwork and said he'd be back in the afternoon. Ziva had told him to go and not to worry. She was determined to keep things as practical as possible. After all, they still had three more weeks. The contractions were normal at this point, just more frequent. Almost like clockwork. However, it was so uncomfortable and unpleasant. Really, how could she possibly make it another three weeks?

As if in answer to her question, there was a stronger cramp. This was different from what she'd been feeling before. It seemed to start at her back and then wrap all the way around her torso. As she sat thinking about why it would be so different, without any warning, her water broke. The only reason Ziva was sure of that was because there was so much fluid all at once.

Now, she was afraid as another contraction hit her. She sat frozen on the couch for too long before she realized that she'd probably been in labor all morning, that those contractions had been real ones and she'd been too inured to the false labor from before to realize it. Another contraction that was stronger than before hit her.

Quickly, she pulled out her phone and called Tony.

"DiNozzo."

"Tony," Ziva said.

"What is it, Ziva?"

"My water broke. I am... in labor."

"What? Now? That's early!"

"Yes. I need you."

"I'm on my way. No having the babies in our apartment. Got it?"

Ziva breathed through another contraction. "I won't."

"I'm coming, Ziva."

Ziva hung up so as not to have Tony be distracted while driving. She sat where she was on the couch, all her focus now on what was coming next. It was too late to change her mind. These babies were coming. They were going to be parents. Her mind whirled.

How can I do this? How can I be a mother? How?

Another contraction. They were getting very regular now. Ziva felt trapped and afraid. What if something happened to Tony on his way over? What if–?

Then, the door opened and Tony was there. He looked afraid, too, but he also looked determined. He ran to the closet and pulled out the bag they'd packed just two days ago.

"I hope we didn't forget anything," he said.

"I don't think it will matter that much," Ziva said.

Tony came over and helped Ziva stand. She needed that assistance more than she wanted to admit. Everything was so heavy and tight and each contraction was getting closer to outright pain rather than discomfort.

Tony helped her get into the car and then he ran around to the driver's side and they headed to the hospital. Ziva had a stronger contraction and Tony looked at her worriedly.

"Don't speed," Ziva said. "If you get pulled over, I'll be very angry."

"Well, I wouldn't want that," Tony said. His words were light but his voice wasn't.

They got to the hospital without incident and Ziva was quickly admitted to the maternity ward. Over the next 10 hours, she was stuck in a cycle of worsening contractions. Tony tried to help but mostly, he was simply there, helping her change position in a fruitless attempt to make her more comfortable, giving her ice chips and massages. That was what she needed, but Ziva wished that there was some way to speed this whole process up. It was taking forever and was extremely painful.

"Are you sure you don't want the epidural? No one will think less of you for not feeling as much," Tony asked for the tenth time.

"No," Ziva said through gritted teeth. "Stop asking me."

A particularly strong contraction made her actually groan. She was trying not to show how much it was hurting but she couldn't suppress it all. Against Dr. Layher's recommendations, she had decided that she wanted everything to be done naturally, but now, in spite of her refusal, she really was wondering if that had been a poor choice, born of her unwillingness to show any kind of weakness. But it was too late to change her mind. She would just have to deal with it. And even now, with all the pain, she still didn't want to admit that it was beyond what she could handle. She was strong enough.

Nurses stopped by to check on them frequently. Dr. Layher came by a few times, always declaring Ziva's progress to be good. Ziva wanted to hit her for being so calm about it.

Finally, they made the transfer to the delivery room. It felt like the contractions never stopped.

"I want to push," she gasped out.

Dr. Layher did a check.

"Not quite yet. You're not fully dilated just yet," she said. "You're doing great, Ziva. It won't be too much longer."

Ziva looked at Tony who seemed unsure.

"Help me," she said.

"I don't know what to do," he said, helplessly.

"Just hold me," Ziva said and then cried out in pain again.

Tony did as she said and he held her through the pain that progressed to outright agony, saying things that were probably encouraging, but Ziva couldn't even focus on them anymore. Everything seemed to take forever. Her whole being was focused on this process, the constant contractions, the pain, and the need to give birth.

"Okay, Ziva, push when you feel it," Dr. Layher said.

On the next contraction, Ziva began to bear down, unsure if she could handle it, but trying to let her body do what it was designed to do. Again, there was nothing else in her world but this never-ending process.

Finally, she pushed and there was a feeling of relief, but not for long. There was still another one.

"That's number one. Good job. Ziva, don't push for a moment. Try to relax as much as you can."

Ziva sagged back into Tony's arms. She felt soaked in sweat from the effort.

"Halfway there, Ziva. You can do this," Tony said.

Ziva was exhausted. "I don't know if I can do it again."

"You can. You're almost there. You're doing great," Tony said.

The pain was still there. The contractions continued.

"Looks like your second baby did a little flip. Let me see if I can get him turned around."

"Him?" Ziva asked weakly.

Dr. Layher smiled. "Yes. That little flip finally showed it off, right at the last minute."

"The first one?" Tony asked.

"You've got one of each," Dr. Layher said.

There was no time to be happy about that. There was an extremely sharp pain and Ziva felt that urge to push again.

"I want to push," she said.

"Just a moment," Dr. Layher said.

"Please," Ziva said, now crying even though she didn't want to. She really just wanted this to be over.

"Not quite yet. Just wait."

Another eternity later.

"All right, Ziva. We managed to get him turned around. It's time to push again."

Exhausted and still in pain, Ziva started to push again, even though she didn't know if she could. Tony was right there, supporting her, helping her lift herself into a better position.

"You're doing it. You've got this, Ziva. You're almost done," Tony said.

Through another haze of pain, Ziva pushed and pushed. It felt like yet another eternity and then, an amazing sense of relief and lightness and finality and she nearly collapsed back onto the delivery table. Tony held her tightly.

"I've got you, Ziva," he said. "I've got you. You're done. You did it."

They didn't get to hold the babies. They were so early that they had to go straight to the NICU. Ziva knew that. They had both been prepped on what could happen with an early birth, but it felt like she had done all that work for nothing when she didn't even get to hold them yet.

But Tony was holding her. He wasn't letting her go.

"We're parents now," Tony said softly. "And we'll do this together."

They had to stay in the delivery room for another couple of hours while Ziva delivered the placentas and some minor bleeding was taken care of. It didn't matter. What mattered was that Tony was there with her and he wasn't leaving her.

Then, they were moved back into a room. Ziva was absolutely exhausted. Tony sat down by her bed.

"I'm right here," he said. "You can sleep. You won't be alone."

Ziva closed her eyes.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

Then, she slept.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tim was trying to focus on getting the leg of the desk to line up correctly. There were so many important parts to getting the desk right. More than once, he had questioned whether or not it was a good idea to do something so complicated.

He'd just got the leg set when his phone rang. As reluctant as he was to take his attention away from his task, with Zahara only a few weeks away from her due date, he didn't dare not answer. She'd never been early but no sense in tempting fate.

It wasn't Zahara. It was Tony.

"Hey, Tony. What's up?"

"Ziva had the babies."

Tim sat back and looked at Gibbs.

"Early."

"Yeah. They're in the NICU. Sorry I didn't call before. You know Ziva. She didn't want anyone to see her in labor and once it started, I wasn't even thinking about anything else."

"Everything okay?"

"I guess so. Ziva's still asleep. The babies are in the NICU but they told us they're fine. Once Ziva is awake, we can go and see them... and... I'm just sitting around like a bump on a log. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing."

"You want some company?"

"Yeah."

Tony sounded very uncertain and worried. Since that wasn't his usual state and since Tim knew how much this pregnancy had worried both Tony and Ziva, he decided that Tony needed to take precedence over anything else. He stood up and looked at Gibbs. Gibbs just gestured for him to go.

"Okay. I'll be right over," Tim said as he left Gibbs' house.

"I'm not taking you away from Zahara, am I?"

"No. Just Gibbs," Tim said, smiling.

"Huh?"

"I was working on a project at Gibbs' place."

"Oh. ...I don't think my brain is working quite right."

"Probably isn't. I'll go to the maternity ward entrance, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"It's fine, Tony. Really."

"Yeah."

Tim said good-bye and hung up and then drove over to the hospital. He went inside and to the maternity ward. He checked in at the desk and then sat down in the waiting room. After a couple of minutes, the door opened and Tony came out. He looked tired and worn. He walked over and sat down by Tim with a loud exhale. Tim put a hand on Tony's shoulder and squeezed it. For a few minutes they just sat there in silence.

"You're not looking so hot," Tim said.

Tony smiled wanly. "I look better than Ziva does. She's okay, but I've never seen something like that before."

"Nothing can really prepare you."

"She wouldn't take an epidural. I tried to get her to change her mind, but it just made her mad at me."

"Oh. Zahara did with Salma, but Jonathan was way too fast. We didn't have time for it and it was worse from my point of view, but Zahara said later that it was easier in a way than with the epidural. She's still deciding one what to do with this one."

"Unless Ziva says otherwise, we won't have another one to choose," Tony said, firmly. "I don't know how women go through that more than once."

"It's because what they get out of it is worth it," Tim said.

"We haven't been able to see them yet," Tony said. "It's almost like it didn't happen."

"Oh, I'm sorry for that. Seeing the baby has a way of... fixing things. You kind of forget all the bad stuff," Tim said, thinking of how holding Jonathan had started his healing. "But they're okay?"

"Yeah. Just really early. I don't know how long they'll be in the NICU." Tony exhaled again and leaned forward. "I don't know if we can do this, Tim. I mean... we were just trying to get through. I don't think either of us were really prepared for it and we thought we were! How can we raise two babies when we couldn't even go through labor and delivery calmly?"

Tim smiled and shook his head. "No one is ready the first time and your first time was really different. Once you get to hold them and get to see them, you'll realize that you can do it because that's all that will matter. Just your family and nothing else. Other things will matter later, but right then, it won't."

"Maybe," Tony said doubtfully.

"It will happen." A thought suddenly came to Tim's mind. "Hey, how long will you guys be at the hospital?"

"I don't know. A few days. I think Ziva's really been wiped out by it. And I hate to tell you, but she doesn't want anyone to see her while she's feeling like this. Honestly, while I'd never tell her because she'd kill me, she looks awful right now. People say that pregnant women are beautiful. I'm sorry, but they're not... and she's not even pregnant anymore."

Tim actually grinned. "I won't tell her you said that, but that really sounds like Ziva. No sign of weakness."

Tony shook his head. "Yeah. I don't know why she put herself through all that, just to prove she could."

"Her way of keeping control of a situation. Even if it's not the best decision. I know some people like that," Tim said.

Tony looked over at him, a look of realization on his face. Tim just smiled. While he was far from perfect, he was feeling a lot better than he had been. Tony suddenly leaned over and hugged Tim tightly.

"Thanks for coming over here," he said. "I needed it."

"I'm glad to. About time I returned the favor after all you've done for me."

Tony sat back again.

"You've done enough, Tim. Really."

"Well, maybe so, but I'll see what I can do to help you more. So don't worry about work or anything. I'll let everyone know that you're not ready for visitors yet. You and Ziva just focus on yourselves and your kids."

"My kids," Tony repeated softly.

"Yeah. Your kids. Don't worry about anything else right now, Tony. Just your family. That's it. I've got this."

Tony took a deep breath.

"I might actually take you up on that."

"Do. There's no reason to push yourself right now. If you're feeling overwhelmed and if Ziva needs you around, then, you just need to be here and not worry about anything else falling."

Another deep breath and Tony nodded.

"Okay. I'd better get back there."

"Yeah. I'm glad you felt like you could call me," Tim said. "Really."

Tony stood up and went back into the maternity ward, and Tim left the hospital, pulling out his phone as he did. He called Gibbs.

"Hey, Boss. We need to put the desk on hold for a bit," Tim said. "I have an idea."