Chapter 69
Two weeks later...
Tim was sitting at his desk, alone in the bullpen. Ziva was only barely back at work and she'd be taking an extended leave of absence once their babies were released from the hospital while she and Tony figured out how things were going to go. Today, they had left early to go to the hospital and spend time with them. After fighting about it, they had settled on Miriam and David for the babies' names. Tony had said that they were going to use the English pronunciation for David, but they had chosen it as a way of honoring Ziva's heritage. They had wanted something Israeli but not names that would be difficult to pronounce and spell.
Tim was glad that they were settling into being parents and that, even if it was taking more time, the twins were developing normally. Every time he'd spoken with Ziva since she'd had the twins, he had noticed something different about her. Tony had said she was struggling a bit to recover but that they were still having follow-up appointments and things were fine. And yet, Ziva was more quiet, more reflective. Maybe it really was just the need to recover, but Tim wondered if motherhood would change her, if it would make her less apt to rush into action. He didn't know, nor did he know if that would be good or bad.
As for himself, he was only at work today after Zahara had given birth to their second son, Lucas Suhayl McGee. It had been another precipitous labor that had been extremely intense but over relatively quickly. Tim had been glad that his mother could come and help out a little bit. He hated to leave Zahara when she was still recovering, but with Tony still distracted with the twins, he felt it was wrong to leave everything up in the air at work. He was here now, but he'd be leaving soon himself. Thankfully, they'd been given days worth of meals that they could just pop into the oven so that Zahara didn't need to cook while Tim was at work but they could still have real meals.
As he sat there, he pulled out the letter Suhayl had sent him. He and Zahara had debated for a while about what to name their second son, and Zahara had finally suggested that Suhayl had done so much for them and he had saved them. They should honor that. He had found himself rereading this letter over and over. While the poem he had shared with Suhayl was still important, the words of Kahlil Gibran had grabbed him. He quietly reread the last line aloud.
"And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing."
He was trying to get into that mind set because he could see the value of it. Suhayl's warning not to imprison himself in a cell was really important. He was still working on it, but both Bob and Dr. Hicks had said that he was doing much better, and if he was honest, he could tell the difference in himself. He was perhaps a little overly-cautious in declaring himself to be doing well, but he was definitely trying to fight the fear of things going wrong and to a large degree he was succeeding.
"Agent McGee, I was hoping you were still here."
Startled out of his contemplation, Tim jumped a little and looked up to see Jenny looking down at him from the stairs.
"Not for much longer unless you need me to be."
"Not much longer, but I'd like to speak with you for a moment in my office."
Tim felt his stomach tighten with worry.
"About what?"
Jenny smiled sympathetically. "Nothing like you're thinking, just some information that I think you'd appreciate knowing."
"Okay."
Tim logged out of his computer and followed Jenny up to her office. Cynthia was just packing up to leave.
"How are you doing, Agent McGee?" she asked.
"I'm doing all right. ...better than before."
"Good."
She gave him a significant look and then left. There was something momentous coming. He could tell, but he wouldn't find out what it was by standing there. So he walked into the office and was surprised that there was someone else there.
"Agent McGee, this is NCIS Deputy Director Leon Vance," Jenny said. "...soon to be NCIS Director Vance."
Tim looked from Jenny to Vance, knowing that his eyes were a bit wide. She smiled slightly.
"I was explaining your unique circumstances and decided that, if you were still here, that it might be a good idea to introduce you," Jenny said.
Tim's mind whirled a bit. Jenny had been his only consistent defender over the years and while the governmental attempts to control him had basically ended, he was more than a little worried about having someone else come into this situation and take up what she had done. He didn't really know about about Vance at all. He hadn't ever worried about NCIS. A blind spot perhaps, but it was true. He swallowed and then looked at Vance, hesitated and then put out his hand.
Vance didn't hesitate to shake his hand. He had a strong, firm grip.
"Hello, Agent McGee. I'm glad to meet you now. I've heard about your situation and there's a lot more going on than I ever knew before," he said.
Tim nodded.
"I hope you don't mind if I'm a bit surprised," he said.
Vance smiled. "I don't. You have reason to be cautious from what I understand. We'll have plenty of time to talk as the transition takes place. If you don't mind, Director, I'll head out."
"No. Thank you staying late," Jenny said.
Vance nodded and then excused himself. Tim looked at Jenny again.
"Is this... by choice?" Tim asked.
"Mostly," Jenny said. "I'm not being forced out by any means, but I've overstayed the length of time most people are in this position. It's time to shift things over while I have the clout to get who I want into this office. Deputy Vance is someone you can trust. I know it will take time for you to be able to do that, but he's been an excellent deputy director. I've had no significant complaints about him. He's also had some experience with special ops and that makes him more sympathetic to your situation. It was always going to happen eventually, Agent McGee. This is just the beginning of the transition. It will be a few months before he actually takes over. I just wanted to let you know in advance so that you can get used to the idea and you and he can get on the same page about how this works."
Tim nodded. "I can't say that... I'm happy about this. At least I've always known where I stood with you and you've done a lot for me. I'm grateful for that."
"You're welcome," Jenny said. "I'll try to make it so that this is as easy for you as possible. This is the first step so for now, you should head home and try not to worry about it."
Tim smiled ruefully. "Easier said than done, I'm afraid."
"I know that, but you seem to be doing much better."
"I am."
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Director," Tim said and then left the office.
He walked down to his desk and gathered up his things. As he headed home, he ruminated on the fact that things were changing again. But in spite of his general worries about a new person in the director's seat, Tim could admit that he didn't have the anxiety and dread that might have been present a few months ago.
As he pulled into the garage, he found himself eager to see his family as always, but it was missing that edge of desperation he'd felt for far too long. He'd been fighting a battle within himself for three years, unsure of what he really wanted out of his life, but now, he knew what it was. No matter how hard, no matter how much he had to fight, he wanted to be with his family.
"I'm home!" he called out as he stepped inside. He still savored being able to say that. He could smell dinner in the oven and was glad he was home soon enough to eat with his family.
The sound of paws on the floor and running feet made him smile and he knelt down as Salma and Jonathan ran in, with Marra loping along behind them. He hugged both of his kids and rubbed Marra on the head. Then, holding both Salma and Jonathan in his arms, he lugged them into the family room where Zahara was sitting on the couch, holding Lucas. He set the kids down and then leaned over and kissed Zahara on the forehead.
"Hi. How are you doing?" he asked.
Zahara smiled. "I'm glad you're home."
"So am I."
"Dinner is in the oven. We are ready to eat."
"I helped!" Salma announced.
"You want me to hold Lucas?" Tim asked
"Yes."
She handed Lucas over and Tim held his youngest child in his arms while Zahara and Salma went into the kitchen. Lucas stirred a little, squeaked and his eyes opened for a second. Tim smiled and cradled him close as Jonathan pestered him to let him see his brother. Tim sat down and he climbed up to see. Marra peeked as well, but Tim did not let her start licking him. No dog tongues on the baby just yet.
"He sleeping?" Jonathan asked.
"Yes. He'll sleep a lot until he's older," Tim said.
"Come and eat!" Zahara called from the kitchen.
Instantly losing interest in his brother, Jonathan ran for the table. Tim carried Lucas with him and held him as Salma carefully put the dishes out.
"Do you want me to hold him?" she asked.
"I've got him for now. You can eat first," Tim said.
Lucas burrowed into Tim's chest and squeaked again. They had dinner together and spent some time together before it was bedtime. Tim got the kids to bed and Marra was contentedly on her doggie bed for the moment. Then, he and Zahara sat together on the couch in a rare moment of alone time, just leaning on each other in silence.
"I love you," Tim said softly.
"I love you, too," Zahara whispered back. She looked him in the eyes. "Always."
And that was what mattered. It would always be what mattered. Tim kissed her deeply and they went up to bed.
FINIS!
