"See that one, Maddie? That's called a microraptor." Ethan pointed to the feathered dinosaur, about the size of a duck, pecking at something over by one of the big redwood trees surrounding the park. "You wanna know something cool? Grandpa Alan was one of the first people to really popularize the theory that the original dinosaurs evolved into birds. It was before anyone knew that some of them had feathers. But you see that guy there, and it's pretty obvious they're birds, right?"

It was a gorgeous summer day and Maddie was going to be seven months old tomorrow. And she was big enough now that she could go out on little field trips. Ethan tried to take her places so that he could get out of the house and she could see and hear and experience new things. It was important for a baby's development to be exposed to stuff.

Ethan especially wanted to spend time with Maddie out in the world this summer because he was going to be starting classes at San Jose State in the fall. Just two classes for the first semester so he wasn't overloaded with going to campus all day every day and doing homework at all hours in between. He was going to get his degree for sure, but he was now first and foremost a father, and being around to be with his kid was what mattered. So he'd take all the time he could now.

Today, Ethan decided to take Maddie to the park. There was a really incredible county park just down the road from the house. Lots of woods and hiking paths and stuff. Last summer, when things were good, Ethan and Hailey had come here for a picnic. It had been her birthday and Ethan wanted to do something special. He—with Mom's help—had packed a picnic and took her up here, and it was really nice.

He really hadn't wanted to think about Hailey today. He didn't want to think about her anytime. A part of him really wanted to avoid coming here because he knew it would make him think of her, but a couple weeks ago, Ethan had made a decision. He wasn't going to avoid thinking about his ex-girlfriend, the mother of his child. Instead, he was going to take everything that made him think about Hailey and the things that made him sad and he was going to replace those memories and associations with new ones. Ones with Maddie.

So here they were. "Hey Maddie," Ethan said as they both still watched the microraptor. "Today is your mom's birthday. She's twenty-two today. We used to joke about how she's a couple months older than me, but it didn't really make a lot of difference. I know you're gonna have more questions about her when you get older, and I'll tell you everything you want to know. I don't want to hide the truth from you. So I'll talk to you about everything, okay? Even if I don't really want to talk about her and it makes me sad. That probably means I should talk about her."

The time would come, probably sooner than Ethan anticipated, when Maddie would come to him with questions. Why doesn't she have a mommy like the other kids do? Why does she have Dad and Nana and Grandpa Alan all living with her? Oh jeez, hopefully they wouldn't still be living in the house with Mom and Alan by the time Maddie started asking questions, but Ethan wasn't going to be dumb enough to try and predict.

"Your mom wanted you to have a good life. She didn't want to be a mom, and that's okay. No one should ever be forced to give up their life for someone else. She wasn't ready to be anyone's mom, but she wanted you to live and be happy and safe and loved. I wanted to be your dad, and that's why she let you and me stay together. She gave me the best gift in the whole world. A lot of gifts, actually. She was the first girl I ever loved, my first real girlfriend. And that taught me a lot. But the best gift I could have ever gotten from her or anyone as long as I live was you, Maddie. You, Madeline Ellen Degler, are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love you so much." Ethan leaned into the stroller and gave his daughter a little kiss on the cheek, making her giggle. God, he loved that sound.

He felt a little weird giving that whole speech in the middle of Sanborn Park, but whatever. The time would come he'd have to tell all that to Maddie for real, when she was older and understood. Ethan figured it was worth practicing so he was ready.

Maddie started fussing a little, so Ethan unstrapped her from the stroller and picked her up, walking around in circles. She gurgled as he pointed out the different kinds of trees and the animals, dinosaur and otherwise. There was a pterosaur up in an oak tree that screeched when a squirrel got too close. A scrub jay landed next to the microraptor who was still pecking away at the base of the redwood.

"Man, nature is so cool," Ethan said, mostly to himself. He had always understood Alan's fascination with dinosaurs—who wouldn't? Dinosaurs are awesome!—but Ethan was now just starting to really get Mom's shift from paleobotany to more modern environmental stuff. The world needed places like this. More of them, really, and definitely to protect the ones we had left.

Ethan had no interest in changing his major, particularly after taking a year off from school, but maybe he'd take an environmentalism class alongside his sociology courses. Mom would probably love that. And it would be nice to sorta understand better what she worked on all the time.

Maddie had fallen asleep against Ethan's shoulder, so it was time they headed home. He gently put her back in the stroller, hoping she wouldn't wake up.

That was wishful thinking. She'd been fine as he strapped her back in but getting back to the parking lot required going over some rough terrain and the jostling made her start crying.

"Shh, I know, I know," Ethan cooed, trying to calm her down. "I'm sorry, Maddie, we're almost back to the car." She was a good car sleeper. She'd be out like a light as soon as he started the engine.

Ethan felt bad interrupting the peacefulness of nature with his screaming baby, but there really wasn't much he could do about it. He got them back to the car, put her in the car seat, and folded up the stroller as quick as he could. Maddie was still crying when he started the engine. It took a second for the Bluetooth to connect to his phone and he could put on one of Maddie's favorite song.

By the time the chorus came on in This is America, they were going down the narrow road leading out of the park and Maddie was calm. It was so weird having a baby who loved Childish Gambino. Ethan had loved this song when he was in high school. Charlie used to play this in the car when he was a senior and Ethan was a freshman.

He hummed along to the song as he thought about how much had changed in the last five years. Now Ethan was the one driving. In California. With his daughter in the backseat. And a flying dinosaur swooped overhead.