"I think she's gonna ask Ian to come with us."
Alan's head jolted up at Ethan's words. "You have got to be kidding me."
"Well, he'll be useful, right? He's been married like twelve times," Ethan pointed out.
This was not what Alan wanted to hear. He was trying to plan a wedding. His first wedding. His only wedding. And for some nightmarish reason, he seemed to be the only one who cared about it.
That wasn't actually entirely true. Ellie cared. She cared a hell of a lot, and Alan knew that. But she wasn't really concerned about details. She had told him what she wanted, and she had assured him that she would be happy with whatever he wanted for the rest of it. But what the hell did he know about a wedding? Flowers? Place settings? A band? He was trying to get Ethan to help him figure out what they needed and what Ellie would like because Alan certainly didn't care about any of that stuff. He had waited thirty years to marry this woman, he didn't really care how it happened. What he did care about was that Ellie got what she wanted.
"Ethan, you tell me right now that you're joking and just riling me up for the fun of it. Tell me right now that Ellie is not taking Ian Malcolm to go wedding dress shopping," Alan said, his voice getting a touch of desperation to it.
It was at that exact moment that Ellie walked into the home office where Alan was sitting at the desk and Ethan was on the floor with Maddie. "Alan, I am not taking Ian dress shopping," she assured him, rolling her eyes. "Ethan, stop torturing Alan."
Ethan started laughing. "Dude, your face!"
"Yeah, well, dude, that's not a funny joke," Alan grumbled in return.
"Alan, you like Ian," Ethan pointed out.
"I do. I like him and he's a very good friend to us both," Alan conceded.
"So what's the big deal?"
Ellie stepped in and answered on Alan's behalf. "You know Ian. He likes to cause mischief. He likes to flirt a little with me just like he does with everyone. And things like that aren't exactly Alan's favorite thing," she explained diplomatically.
"I know Ian is like that with everyone. But it's different with you, Ellie," he said.
Ellie didn't like that answer. "What's so different about me? Because I belong to you?" There was a challenge in her voice and that look of feminist steel in her eyes. Usually Alan felt a twinge of pride when she got like that, but it wasn't usually directed at him.
He could feel this conversation slipping into dangerous territory. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and middle finger. "No, Ellie, you don't belong to me, you don't belong to anyone but yourself. I just know that Ian's always held a torch for you, and after all the ups and downs we've been through, I don't like being reminded that I might lose you again." Alan had not forgotten that first day at Jurassic Park when Ian had asked if Ellie was available because he was interested in her. Alan had never liked the way that man looked at Ellie. Other men sometimes looked that way too, but usually Alan didn't know them personally. And Alan also was very much aware that Ellie had spent about a decade married to another man who was able to give her everything that Alan couldn't.
Alan looked back up at Ellie and saw a strange look on her face. She was staring at him with some mix of concern and possibly pity. He didn't like it.
"Ethan, would you take Maddie into the nursery, please?" Ellie asked, not taking her eyes off Alan.
"But I was helping Alan with…"
"Now, please," she insisted. "Or else you're going to just have to be here while we talk about things that will make you uncomfortable, and then Alan will have to go hide for a while knowing you were listening."
Ethan very quickly scooped the baby up in his arms and left the room, closing the door behind him.
"Ellie, he really was helping me with the wedding planning, since you don't seem interested in all these little details that I don't know what to do with," Alan told her.
"Listen to me, please," she said in a soft but firm tone.
Something about that made him smile. "I'm listening, honey."
She took a couple steps forward and twisted the swivel office chair so he faced her. She put her hands on the arms of the chair and leaned in. "I will say this as many times as I need to for you to understand, Dr. Grant. I have no interest in Ian Malcolm, regardless of whether or not he has any interest in me romantically. Ian is my friend—our friend—and he makes me laugh. But you make me happy. You are the man I am in love with. You are the man I am going to marry. And I am going to be with you and I am going to love you until the day I die. Nothing and no one will ever change that. And you know how I know that?"
"How?"
"Because I've been in love with you since I was twenty-seven years old. More than half my life, Alan. I know we've gone over this before, but it bears repeating: we did not break up because I didn't love you. You're not gonna lose me ever again."
She finished her little speech and stayed right there, about eight inches from his face, just watching and waiting. Alan wasn't quite sure what to say. She was right, she had said all of that before. And he knew it all to be true. He knew this life they had was what they both wanted and what they were both in the position to finally have together. He knew that they loved each other more than anything in the world. He knew that they had a home and a family here with Ethan and Maddie. And he didn't doubt any of that. He didn't doubt her.
But still a small niggling doubt lived in the back of his mind.
"I just don't want to lose this," he confessed in a small voice.
"Lose what?" she asked gently.
"You. Us. Our life."
She smiled affectionately. "You won't." Ellie leaned in just enough to brush her lips against his. "And we're gonna get married and keep having this life together, and eventually you won't worry anymore. I won't let you."
And that made Alan smile, too. "Alright, deal," he agreed. He kissed her one more time before pulling back. "Now either let Ethan come back in here and help me or you tell me what the hell I'm supposed to do about this wedding."
Ellie stepped back from him and put her hands on her hips. "Alan! I told this a million times, we don't need all that wedding stuff. I know you don't care about it, and I already did a big white wedding, and honestly? It sucked. I don't want that."
"But we have to do something! We've got Ridge booked for the ceremony, we have that judge friend of yours who teaches at Stanford Law to officiate. But we need flowers and music and whatever else weddings have. Even if we don't have two hundred people, don't we still need all that stuff?" The panic was starting to set in all over again. He had no clue what to do. Alan turned back to his computer and pulled up the dozen webpages for wedding planning he had bookmarked. "I mean, look at all this!"
"Okay, I see why you're getting all uptight," she said soothingly. Ellie came to stand behind his chair and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, putting her cheek against his. "I didn't think you were going to get so fixated on all this."
He sighed, "I just want this to be what you dreamed of, Ellie, but I don't really know where to start."
She kissed the side of his neck. "I will tell you my dream again. You and me and maybe ten other people we know and love, gathered at sunset on the ridge, overlooking the valley and the vineyard. I want you to wear jeans and that blue shirt I love. I will wear a new dress that I haven't found yet, but it won't be a wedding gown. We'll get something cute for Maddie to wear. We'll have a simple ceremony where we exchange rings and kiss and make my kids feel all weird. I'll buy a bouquet at a local florist, and we'll have Charlie and Ethan put together a playlist in case anyone wants to dance. Ridge does the food and the wine. We can visit with everyone, and then for our wedding night, Ethan and Maddie and Charlie can go to a hotel and we can have this whole beautiful house to ourselves. That is my dream. That is how I want to marry you." She kissed him again. "Okay?"
Alan reached up and put his hand on her forearm. "Yeah, okay. And you promise Ian won't be going with you to find a dress? I don't like the idea of being anywhere near you when you're taking off your clothes."
Ellie laughed and gave him a playful smack on the shoulder for that. "I'm not bringing Ian to find a dress! And I promise that you're the only man who will be anywhere near me when I'm taking off my clothes. And if you like, I'll take off my clothes for you right now."
A shiver of arousal went through Alan at that. He had been so unreasonably stressed out over this damn wedding stuff, and all Ellie's lovely words had gone a long way to making him feel better. And boy, no one could get him going like she could. Only… "Ethan is in the next room," he reminded her.
Ellie shrugged. "Isn't he always?" She went over to the door and locked it before turning back to Alan. "So?" She was already unbuttoning her blouse.
Alan swiveled his chair out to face her and grinned.
