Chapter Five Hundred and Twenty Eight

It was lunch time the next day. Nobody had slept and time was dragging. Charlie sat on the sofa, eyes sore and dry. She felt like she had no more tears left to cry. Joey sat close beside her, holding her hand. They both felt numb. Ruby was curled up in the armchair. She looked so small and vulnerable. Just like a child. Morag had gone for a walk. Now that Ross's body had been taken away, she hadn't been able to stay cooped up in the house. Everyone was just trying to deal with their own grief.

Joey stood up when there was a knock at the door. She smiled weakly when she saw Watson and Kerri.

"Hey," Watson said. "Sorry if we're intruding. We just wanted to let you know that we're thinking of you."

"Thank you," Joey said, welcoming them inside.

They joined them in the lounge, both hugging Charlie and Joey. Ruby remained curled up on the chair.

"We're so sorry to hear about Ross," Kerri said.

"Thank you," Charlie said. "I know we were waiting for it but it's still…"

"It's always a shock when it happens," Watson said. "Even when you're expecting it."

Charlie nodded.

"Claire just texted," Ruby mumbled. "Is it okay if I go out?"

"Sure," Charlie said. "If you'll be okay?"

"I'm okay," Ruby promised.

She hugged both her mothers and left the house.


Morag sat alone on the beach, gazing out at the horizon. Finally, away from any other humans, she took a deep breath and let out all her grief and tears for the husband she had loved and lost in so many ways. She couldn't quite believe he was actually gone. This day had been in her head as being some far distant day in the future. Not now. She was a widow. What was she supposed to do now? How was she supposed to behave? Where did she belong?


Ruby arrived at the Diner where Indi and Romeo were waiting to order lunch. The happy couple had vowed to spend every day of the holidays together before Indi started University and Romeo began his last year of high school again. He and Ruby had already started studying together for a couple of hours a day, although obviously today they had skipped it. But they had been kind enough to include her in a lot of their activities, knowing how much she was struggling with caring for her father and now knowing that she would be struggling with the grief of losing him.

"Hi," she greeted, sitting down in the third chair. "Claire said she would be here in a minute."

"Great," Indi said.

The news had got round fairly quickly about Ross. Her father had been called out in the middle of the night.

"How are you doing?" Romeo asked kindly.

"I don't really know, to be honest," Ruby said. "I just feel numb."

He smiled sadly at her. Things hadn't been quite the same when his Dad had died. He hadn't been a good man.

"Well, if there's anything we can do, you just let us know," he said.

"Yeah," Indi said. "Anything at all."

"Hi," Claire said, approaching the table with Hannah. "Sorry we're late."

She immediately scooped Ruby into her arms. Hannah watched uncertainly.

"I'm so sorry about Ross," Claire said. "How are you doing? How are your parents?"

"Just… you know."

Claire nodded. She and Hannah sat down.


"Well, I guess what we need to do now is get on with planning the funeral," Charlie said. "He had some ideas. He asked me to do the eulogy. And as a retired police officer, he will get the full officer's service which would make him very proud."

"It would," Watson agreed. "He is a legend in the force. He absolutely deserves the best."

Charlie smiled.

"He really was a legend," she said. "It's been so much to live up to."

"And you absolutely have," Watson said. "You're an amazing officer."

"He was so proud of you," Joey agreed, putting her arm around her girlfriend.

Charlie felt comforted. She hoped her partner and her friends were right.

"If she feels able to, perhaps Ruby could do a reading or something," Joey suggested. "It might give her some sort of closure."

"That's a good idea," Charlie said. "Let's ask her when she gets home."

Joey got up to answer another knock on the door. This time it was Leah.

"Hi," their friend said. "Sorry to interrupt. I hope it's okay that I came."

"Of course," Joey said, accepting her hug. "Thank you for coming. For caring."

"VJ made you all a card," she said, handing it over.

"Oh! Danny made a card too," Kerri said. "Oh, he'd hate me if I forgot to give it."

She gave it to Charlie. She and Joey were both touched by the boys' efforts. Leah came and hugged Charlie, asking how she was.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm here for anything you guys need," she said. "Anything at all. And perhaps it's too early to think about but if you need catering for the funeral, I'll happily do it for you. I know you've got the restaurant of course but if you just don't want to think about organising anything, I'll happily take care of it. And that would be a gift, obviously. I just want to help in any way I can."

"That would be amazing, Leah," Joey accepted. "If it isn't too much. I mean, we'd happily pay."

"No payment necessary," Leah insisted.

"I just can't even think to organise food," Joey admitted.

"We're thinking about things for the service now," Charlie said. "It just feels like so much to do. Like we're wading through quicksand."

"I get it," Leah said sadly.


That night, after spending much of the day organising the funeral and trying to be as practical as possible, Charlie finally collapsed into bed. She clung to Joey like her life depended on it. She felt like her life did depend on it. The grief of the loss of her father felt like a physical pain. It crushed her lungs as she sobbed against her, holding onto her warmth.

Joey held on tightly to her, her own tears falling silently, wishing that she could do something to take her pain away. But really she knew that this was something that Charlie had to go through. It couldn't be rushed and it wasn't something that she could put a plaster on. She had to feel the pain of loss and then day by day build herself up and heal, even though it was a slow process.

She kissed the top of Charlie's head, stroking her back. She held her as she cried herself to sleep.


"Charlie and Joey have asked me to do some sort of reading at the funeral," Ruby told Claire.

"That's lovely," Claire said.

The pair of them were sat on the beach together.

"Do you think so? I mean, I'm scared. What if I mess it up?"

"You won't," Claire said. "You'll do it brilliantly."

"They said I could choose whatever I like," Ruby said. "But I don't have any idea what to pick."

"Well, I have a free morning," Claire said. "Shall we have a look at some readings and poems together?"

Ruby smiled gratefully and hugged her.


Joey was worried about Charlie. She was spending her days organising the funeral down to the minutest detail and at night, absolutely collapsed in grief. She just couldn't go on this way. On top of that, Morag had completely shut down. She was hardly speaking to anyone, participating only in plans for the funeral but otherwise, disappearing and not engaging. Ruby was quiet too, spending most of her time with Romeo, Indi and Claire. Joey was doing everything she could to hold her family together.

"Why don't we go out for a walk?" she suggested to Charlie.

"Why?" Charlie asked, startled.

"Just to get you out of here for a little while," Joey said gently. "Charlie, you've not left this house for days now. It's not good for you."

Charlie sighed and nodded. She accepted Joey's hand and they headed out the door.


Morag sat opposite Alf in the visitor's room. He looked ashen. She wasn't sure she looked much better.

"I'm so sorry to hear about Ross," he said quietly.

"Thank you," she replied just as quietly. "Do I need to ask how you are?"

"No," he replied.

"Well, I'm able to focus completely on your case now," she told him.

"No!" he protested. "No, love. You need to focus on yourself now. Yourself and those girls. Those poor girls. You need to say goodbye to your husband. You don't need to be worrying about me."

"Ross is gone," Morag said. "But you're still here. Here. You're exactly the person I need to be thinking about Alf. You shouldn't be here. You should be at home where you belong."

He squeezed her hands, touched and guilty all at the same time.


Indi smiled to herself as she watched Romeo jogging back up the beach with his surf board, wetsuit peeled down to his waist. She couldn't help but think how lucky she was to have such a gorgeous boyfriend. Not to mention such a sweet and kind one. He had been so good to Ruby these past few weeks. She hoped she has been as kind although she knew he was the sweet one in their relationship.

He came to sit beside her and gave her salty kiss.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked. "You look sad."

"I'm okay," she said. "More than okay, really. I was just thinking about how lucky we are. Poor Ruby and Charlie. They've lost someone so important to them. They must be feeling so awful right now. And here we are so. So happy."

He put his arm around her. She didn't even object to him being wet from the sea.

"That's why we need to look after them all," he said. "Lift them up when they're down."


Charlie and Joey were sat on another part of the beach, gazing out at the same sea.

"Nicole called," Joey said. "She and Marilyn are still going to be away on the day of the funeral. She was really apologetic."

"That's okay," Charlie said. "I understand."

"I said it was fine," Joey said.

"Ruby said she and Claire are looking at poems and readings," Charlie said. "Trying to find something for her to read."

"I'm sure they'll find something great," Joey said. "Especially with Claire on the task."

"Yeah, I'm sure they will," Charlie said. "I'm glad Ruby agreed to do it. You don't think it'll be too much for her?"

"If it gets too much, one of us will step up and help her," Joey promised.

Charlie nodded.

"We're a team," Joey said. "We'll always be a team."

They kissed.


Ruby thought that she and Claire had found a good reading for the funeral. Now Ruby just had to find the capability within herself to read it in front of all the mourners expected to attend. She knew that Charlie had been busy working on their father's eulogy but Charlie was much more capable than she was. She was scared and unsure.

That evening, with Morag in her room and Charlie and Joey in theirs, Ruby let herself out of the house. She knew that Claire had a date with Hannah tonight. She found herself walking towards Summer Bay House to see Romeo.


In their room, as happened every night, Charlie cried herself to sleep in Joey's arms. She felt locked in despair and had no idea how to escape. The only thing she was grateful for was that she had Joey to love and protect her. She was patient and kind. And it was clear that her father had had the foresight to see that she and Joey had a strong future. She thought about the ring in a box in the drawer. She hoped that the right time would come soon and she would be able to ask Joey to be her wife.


Romeo had taken Ruby to the beach. There, the pair of them had sent tea lights off into the sea for Ross. Sitting back on the sand, Ruby let out a deep breath. It felt like she had been holding it for a long time. She leant against Romeo who put his arm around her as they watched the little lights float away from them, one for Ross, one for Morag, one for Ruby, one for Charlie, one for Joey and one for Ruby's mother.

"Thank you," she said quietly. "This was exactly what I needed."

You were exactly what I needed, she thought to herself.


Next time… Summer Bay says goodbye to Detective Ross Buckton, Alf faces his bail hearing and Liam and Bianca return…