A/N: I apologize for my absence. Although, I have to admit, I am disappointed that this first-person version of this story isn't getting enough reviews as its original third-person one. But, views are growing as well as my followers, so I am happy with that! :) I am exciting to be writing this as it has proven to be longer and will contain a lot of extra content that was left out in the first version of the story. Thank to all who have returned again for this emotional ride. Happy reading! Tomorrow more will be posted. A LOT more.


Chapter 8: Regina


I'm smiling. Actually smiling as I recall Emma quoting the book earlier today before she left. She actually makes me smile or laugh without the slightest fear of doing so.

How can she do that with no struggle at all? I think to myself.

The book I had found myself currently reading was resting along my lap, opened and currently abandoned because my thoughts had taken me away.

Thoughts of how because of me, Emma became injured, and yet- surprisingly to me- Emma wasn't even mad. She didn't hate me, nor looked at me differently at any moment. Instead, she showed concern over me. Actual concern over the cut along my cheekbone. I raise my hand to place my fingers along the cut, feeling the sting of the strike to my cheek all over again. My cheekbone striking along the cold tile floor.

No. It wasn't your fault! I continued to rattle my head around the verdict if it in fact was or wasn't my fault. I would of course, see my dear husband's angered features, blaming me. And my balance would shift downward to: guilty. But then something happened, something that never once, in my entire life, happened before.

My mind thought back to Emma. On the calm look that stirred in her eyes every single time she kept telling me that it wasn't my fault. On the color green of her eyes, how bright and how different the color in them was when I stood before her, looking into them as I pulled her hair back into that ponytail before our riding lesson that could never be. How soft her hair seemed to feel as it slipped without a single knot through my fingers. Having those thoughts playing in the back of mind, seemed to help. They seemed to calm me.

I feel another smile pulling at the corners of my lips, forcing its way out of me and I don't recognize myself.

Why am I smiling? What was it about Emma, about the way she carried herself- her humor- that apparently was making me smile without a single ounce of hesitation or double thought. It almost felt like I wasn't at all afraid to smile. But I was. Nowadays, especially around Leopold, I was afraid to even breathe the wrong way. Or sleep beside him.

Amazing, wasn't it? How sleeping beside a person that is supposed to protect you and love you could become the most terrifying- what was supposed to be simple- thing to do.

But this was my life. It has been for almost twenty-five years, and as much as I wanted out sometimes, I was even a coward when it came to taking my own life that I've come to the point where I've given up hope of something better than this.

Yes, I've thought of the possibility of suicide. Yes, I've come close to trying.

But even the attempt would fail me.

If I were to be frank, the only anchor keeping me around, in search of some hope, was none other than my daughter. Audrey. Although, grown and in search of her own life and bright future. A future I will never get to have for myself. I was still her mother, and in the back of my mind I always knew that if something were to happen to me that affected an ounce of breath in my lungs. Audrey would be devastated.

So, I would keep hanging on. By a thread that sooner or later threatened to rapture, but hanging on nonetheless.

And of course, I think of the day Audrey will decide to marry. Whether it was with a man or a woman. Maybe Emma. I wanted to be there. As her mother, I loved the thought of seeing her grown, walking down the aisle in her white dress, with a bright smile toward her future. Hopefully become a grandmother someday of however many babies she will want to have. Those thoughts were my search lights of hope within the darkness I was living.

She was the only one keeping me here.

If it wasn't for Audrey, I probably wouldn't be here. Sometimes… As much as I hate myself for thinking this, but sometimes, I wish I would have never given that bastard a child.

Do I regret it? Of course not. It wasn't as if I chose to get pregnant. But I'm glad I did.

Having Audrey gave me the peace Leopold never knew how to give.

Leopold would have preferred to have a son ten times over, but when Audrey was born, I know he was ecstatic with the news either way. And it gave me a break from being mistreated. Of course, my pregnancy didn't turn him into a doting husband type either.

Nothing could turn him into a doting husband or make him apologize. Leopold didn't even know the meaning of that word if it bit him in the ass.

Maybe once hell froze over. I chuckle to myself and shake my head at the thought of Leopold one of these days actually apologizing.

I decide to shut off any absurd and impossible thoughts on Leopold, and finish what's left of my book. Once I'm done, I stand and make my way to the library. Leopold found himself at work today, mysterious as ever, keeping to himself, and I liked it that way. Of course, I preferred him to be away on business trips, but as long as he wasn't around me and I could be in the one room that brought me an ounce of happiness and peace- I was satisfied.

As I am making my way into the library, my heels click along the marbled floor as I approach further inside. I looked out one of the windows, the very window where I was sitting that night I was having a silent cry. That is, until Ms. Swan showed up, surprising me and my thoughts. I remember the day out at the Orchard. My father's- now mine- place. How I loved it there.

I miss it every day. I missed Daniel. Getting to hug him that day made my whole day better, until it took a turn for the worst and I was neglectful in warning Emma better about what not to do when you found yourself behind a horse. Or warn her on the known fact that for some first riders who are learning, their foot could slip off the stirrup.

Stupid. I shake my head as I continue to walk on by, surrounding myself with the endless shelves of books, until I stop at the right empty spot and fill it up by placing back A Little Life in its rightful spot. Everything in this house had to be exactly how Leopold kept it, and its rightful spot that even I noticed I started picking up the habit with my books. I didn't keep them in alphabetical order, nor color coded, but I liked keeping them in order according to their size. And I always placed them back exactly where I kept them.

Once I placed my book back on one of the shelves, I used the tip of my nails and gently raked them along the many spines of my many books I was allowed to have for company. I smile a little as they always bring me a sense of comfort, until I stumble upon The Odyssey. My brow furrowed at the surprising sight of seeing the book I had lent Emma back on the shelf. I reach for it and pull it out, not because it was wrongly placed, but because I catch a glimpse of a highlighter green post-it note peeking out within the pages of the book.

I opened the book to discover it had been placed inside the very first page.

It was a message.

A handwritten message with the most beautiful cursive I had ever seen.

It surprised me because no one ever took the time to write out a handwritten note anymore nowadays. Not since technology turned into the easiest and quickest way of communication.

As I reach for the note, I bring it up to my level and read the following: Thank you for allowing me to travel along with you on this unforgettable journey. -E.

I smiled, surprised by how quick it stretched across my lips as I read the note that clearly had been left for me. It was from Emma. She wrote me a note? And a thank-you note at that. All for a book? My smile widens without an ounce of fear or single thought. I didn't take Ms. Swan to be the old fashioned type. Much less thankful enough for discovering a new book which it seemed our interest in it was alike.

The letter at the end of the message gave the culprit behind this note away. And even if she hadn't included her first initial; something inside of me would have figured it out it was from her.

Well mannered, likable, clearly sweet, well spoken, considerate and now meticulous.

To be honest, my discovery toward Ms. Swan took me more by surprise than the fact that she loved and appreciated the book. I had many people that enjoyed it, but none to leave a handwritten note over it like Emma.

Why would she do this? I wondered in silence with a smile still tugging across the corners of my lips. Whatever the reason Emma had for leaving this note, I knew she wanted me to find it. And I was glad I did. This very kind gesture demonstrated to me that Emma was a woman who didn't take the little things for granted. She was exactly the type of young woman my daughter deserved.

I must confess that this small gesture, this note that might seem like nothing to a man like Leopold, even made the silence in this room fill with something unrecognizable to me. What that was, I probably would never know. But whatever this strange feeling was, I liked it.

Emma appreciated the little things, like me.

It was hard nowadays to come across someone who valued the little things, and kind gestures like Emma Swan.

"Good afternoon, sir. You're home early." I hear Sidney's voice, greeting my husband as the front door shuts and it causes me to place the book back in its place rather quickly. The note clutched in my hand.

And just like that, my little glimpse of peace is shattered.

"Have you seen my wife?" I hear Leopold ask Sidney. My eyes couldn't roll far enough back.

"Yes, sir. I do believe she's in the library." As I hear the heavy footsteps approaching, I quickly fold the note and clutch it even tighter along the palm of my hand. I don't move. I'm as still as a statue, hoping to become invisible as I don't even bother turning around. I can just hear my husband's footsteps growing closer and closer as he enters the only room in this house that isn't to his liking.

"There you are." I hear him announce to me, and as I dare to turn to him with a frightened, timid smile. I watch as his eyes observe my right hand as he asks, "What do you have there?"

Of course the tension in my body betrays me.

It wasn't like I was hiding anything from him. An infidelity. But, apart from being the bastard I knew him to be, Leopold was also very possessive and jealous over me. The last thing I needed was for him to make a big deal out of a little thank-you note, and what's worse. Bring Emma into it, when the poor girl had no ill-intent.

She was out enjoying a picnic and a possibly lovely outing with my daughter, unaware of the hell that could be unleashed at this very moment.

Breathe. I tell myself before I take that much needed breath and respond with, "Nothing important." I was already regretting my reply, simply by the stone-cold look in Leopold's heartless features.

I could see in the cold stare in his eyes that he didn't believe me.

Then again, I could never easily lie around him. I was that pathetic and frightened toward him.

"Oh, nothing important?" He nods mockingly as he's walking closer to me now. Even the way his shoes echoed around the room turns into a very menacing and haunting sound for me.

"No," I shake my head. "I was just looking through a book, and found an old note I wrote long ago. That's all."

Stop talking! Just stop talking! I swallow down a hard lump that forms in the back of my throat, and my palms turn sweaty. A heavy weight settles along my shoulders and it's already painful.

He didn't believe me. He never believed me.

"Let me see." He says to me, holding out his hand, expecting for me to obey and place the piece of paper along his palm.

I hated looking into his eyes. I hated that they were the same color as Emma's eyes. The green in them was nothing like Emma's. There was nothing gentle about his stare when he looked at me.

"It's just a stupid note. Nothing to get worked up about-" I shake my head as I dare to rush past him, immediately being stopped by Leopold's bruting and strong grip along my waist. He pulls me back, forcing me to face him, look into his eyes which I've grown to hate, along with the rest of him.

"I am not playing games here, Regina." Leopold hissed under his breath, keeping everything private between us. His grip tightened around my waist and I grunt.

As always, my grunts went ignored by him. Never caring how much his caveman strength hurt me.

"Let go." I glared into his monstrous stare with all the hate in the world. I grunt once more, feeling his grip only tightening, pulling me closer to him. He purposely holds me so close that I could feel him growing along my pelvis. And immediately I'm disgusted. "You're really hurting me. Let me go." I hiss under my breath.

Hurting me never failed to excite him.

"You haven't even begun to feel pain yet," He growled at me, his dark, clouded gaze only challenging me. "Now, show it to me."

At that moment, I don't know what came over me. I could feel the corner of my lip twitch. I was filled with so much anger, so much hatred that I didn't move. I refused to show him proof of that innocent piece of thank-you message.

Fact was; I wasn't sure how he would take it. And knowing him, like I did, he would want to turn into a possessive beast toward Emma because of it. Something I wasn't going to allow him to do. No matter how scared I felt in the moment.

Suddenly I was grateful Emma was dating my daughter. Dating Audrey gave her salvation. Leopold would never dare to hurt her because of the fact that his only daughter loved Emma.

I hiss as he grabs a hold of my wrist, bringing it up to his face, in the attempt to hurt me.

"Don't make this harder on yourself than it already is, Regina." Leopold warns me, his face an inch away from mine. His eyes looked down to my balled fist, and doing so even made my own hand give into his wishes as it parted opened, revealing the folded note along the palm of my hand.

With his free hand he reaches for the note, and finally releases my wrist once the note falls into his possession. He unfolds it and I can see his eyes scan the contents of it before they are glaring up at me once more. Menacingly. Possessively.

I watch his hand hover before me, his fingers crumbling up the note. I could hear the paper crackle inside of his hand, and it pulled at my heartstrings with something unrecognizable. I almost want to cry but I don't. Not in front of him. Not right now. As I watch the note drop from his palm onto the floor, crumbled up and neglected, I realize that that is merely a tactic he uses to catch me off guard for what he does next.

I gasp, unable to help it as his hand hammers directly at my throat with a grasp so tight, I can feel my breath catch in my throat. Help back from functioning to give me the oxygen I now find myself beginning for. Next, came a sharp pain in the back of my head as I realized he had pinned me along the bookcase so hard, my head had slammed into it. And he didn't care. My hands grip along his wrists, my nails dig along his shirt, a bit of skin as I continue to gasp, to plead with my eyes given that I couldn't find my voice.

My eyes shut tight, and I can feel a tear form along the corner of my eye, like a small pearl. I suspect my neck will bruise this time just like my wrist.

Most wives- at least those that I've known, but never on a personal level- receive pearl necklaces from their husbands. I get tears.

"What do you have to say for yourself now?" He asks. I could feel that part of his body press harder along my pelvis, his breath on my face as he inches closer.

"It…" Gasp. "It…" Gasp. I desperately needed to breathe but I couldn't! I wanted to scream but I couldn't. All I could hear were the sound of my heels tapping along the floor beneath us, trying to speak out the words that I wasn't allowed to say.

That was another sound I grew to hate.

"Is there something I need to know that you aren't telling me?" Leopold asked me, hissing, spitting at me as he asked. His eyes move to my hands as I'm gripping tightly along his wrists. I plead with my eyes to let me breathe! But he won't. Not yet. All I could do was shake my head in a quick response. But, that just wasn't good enough.

Nothing was good enough with Leopold.

"Then, who and why is someone leaving you notes?" He asks, applying more pressure along my throat. And the choking sound that escapes my lips is as haunting as the last.

My eyes shut tight once more. I couldn't do this anymore. I try my best to respond, "It… It's… Just a… Tha- thank you… Note."

Leopold chuckles because of course any gesture anyone would have toward me would bring him humor. That faint of humor isn't enough however, for him to release my throat. "A note?" I desperately nod. "And why, I wonder, would our daughter's girlfriend be thanking you?"

Because she's not an ungrateful monster like you! My eyes shut tight before I attempt my best at responding, "Be- because… I… I…"

"You…?" Leopold mockingly gasped for air as I am. Mocking me before he finally released my throat, allowing me to have breath again. I gasp so hard, it hurts my throat and I cough. My body hunches over as my hands massage their way along my throat, trying my best to compose myself quickly. Last thing I wanted was to give him another reason to grab it again. Although, I knew that would happen again soon for whatever reason he deemed it necessary.

Choking me was Leopold's favorite sport. Other husband's played golf on weekends, or enjoyed their occasional game of poker. Leopold. He enjoyed this.

I feel him grab a hold of my wrist again, squeezing it tightly and possessively that my body jerks up in a flash. He loved getting my attention this way.

Ah!" I can't help but let out a yelp. My hand squeezes along his wrist so hard, I feel my nails digging into his skin once again. You would think this action from me would cause him to stop or make him hiss in the slightest, but it doesn't. Fact of the matter was, in his own twisted-Leopold-way, I think he rather enjoyed it. It spurred him on more.

So, whatever hope of pain I hoped to bring him vanished. I could never hurt him.

Leopold's body stepped an inch closer to me, and his hands released me so that his arms could imprison me, holding me between his body and the bookshelf pressed along my back. "Now, tell me…" He spoke in a growl, "Why would this girl give you a thank you note?" I feel his fingers wrap strongly around my jaw, forcing me to look into his menacing eyes.

After swallowing again, I finally said, "Because I gave her a book to read. That's all."

"That's all?" His head cocked to the side.

I nod, "She just wanted to have a nice gesture with me. That's it."

I try my best to reassure him. To make him believe what was true. Because that was the truth. Emma didn't mean anything by leaving me a note. Just like I didn't mean anything by trying to keep it from him. Why, the idea of anything happening between someone like Emma and myself was absurd even for me.

I hear a soft cackle escape Leopold, his body remaining close to mine as he says, "Well, of course that's it. She's a naive twenty-something year old girl. She doesn't know any better."

It frightens me sometimes how he seems to be able to read my mind. But as extra reassurance, I nod and say, "Right. Exactly… Emma, she's… She's madly in love with our daughter. You know that." I smile in a foolish attempt to throw him off course or whatever absurd idea that he has built inside of his mind.

Once again, he chuckles, but in a sinister way this time as he replies, "For her sake, I hope so." He raises a single digit before me, which plays with a strand of my hair, moving it aside as gently as possible. "Because don't think I don't see that she is also a woman who can certainly appreciate another attractive woman."

I quickly shake my head, "Don't be absurd, Leopold. Emma wouldn't do that to our daughter."

"No," He chuckles. "Especially not with you." He says mockingly.

He might mock at that reality. But, deep down I feel its certainty, too. Why, for Emma to ever be interested in someone like me would not only be crazy, but it would be strictly impossible. Or anyone for that matter.

Of course, I knew that.

It was stupid even to think about. Even for a man like Leopold.

"Leopold, just take a damn moment and listen to what you're saying!" I raised my voice a little to this, and all that earned me was to be grabbed by my right wrist and slammed once against the bookshelf. Hard. So hard, I groaned.

I was never sure what I hated more. Leopold's possessive, and jealous side, or his naturally violent side. Because he would begin to draw conclusions in his head that simply weren't there. Such as Emma- Audrey's girlfriend- taking a romantic interest in me.

His body pressed closer to me, as closer as it could get and I could pick up the faint scent of alcohol on his breath. No wonder. He was most jealous of anyone that would dare to look my way, or at anyone I smiled at too much when he's had a couple of drinks in his system.

Honestly… There were times where I wished I could have at least the courage to cheat on him.

It would probably end in disaster, but as they say… Desperate times.

I was never a person that would carry the idea of cheating inside of my brain, but with the life I've lived, cheating was the last of my worries. Then again, as cowardly as I knew I was, I probably would be too afraid to do it. I couldn't even take my own goddamn life when presented with the chance. How could I possibly think I could cheat on someone like Leopold? Especially when a man like him deserved it.

To cheat on him would be a swift kick in his pride and ego. Nothing would make me happier.

But to cheat, you needed two to dance that tango. And I was lacking a partner. Besides… At the end of the day, who would be remotely interested in me? Yes, there was Daniel, who wasn't shy to show his interest in me, I loved him like a friend. And that was all he was to me. I wouldn't dare to lead him on, especially when I didn't feel that way about him.

And it wouldn't be fair for me to use him that way.

Also, I liked the idea that if ever someone did become interested in me, it would happen because we both felt something mutual. A connection. Love, maybe. But who was I kidding? No one would ever be that interested in me. And even if it did happen, it never could. Not when I lived in this prison day to day and was hardly allowed to go anywhere. Not to mention, I was too much of a coward and too afraid to ever trust anyone's intentions toward me ever again, without fearing the worst was yet to come.

After living with Leopold for so long, there was no way I could trust in anyone ever again.

"What am I saying?" He mutters. His lips are so close to my cheek, his beard scratches roughly along my skin as he makes his way down toward my neck. I close my eyes in disgust as soon as I feel his lips take possession of my neck.

There was nothing gentle about him. Not even his kisses.

"Hm?" His lips continued their cold, rough journey along my neck, until they made their way back up again to continue along my jaw. "You couldn't leave me, even if you tried, Regina. You do know that. Don't you?"

Again. It was as if he was reading my mind.

"Yes, of course I know that." I say to him with a tremble in my breath. My eyes shut tight as I try so hard to remain calm and perfectly still. My hands don't even put up a fight anymore.

I just wish this would all stop.

As soon as his lips stop their unwelcome journey throughout my skin, my breathing comes to a halt. His hand cups my jaw once again, roughly holding me in place. And just as I think this is all over, his lips possess mine in an open mouth kiss that I don't even want in the first place. I could feel his tongue breaking the barrier of my own lips, breaking into my mouth so roughly, I could gag. But I don't. Instead, my eyes shut tight once more as I beg for this to stop as I just let it happen.

I could attempt to fight him off, but I knew the consequences if I were to do that.

Once, years back, I could recall biting his lip as hard as I could, so much he drew blood as he attempted to kiss me like he was now. All that had earned me was a right hook directed at my nose. I remember seeing stars as I fell to the floor and could feel hot liquid pouring down my nostrils. After that, nose broken and all, I was forced to please him in any way he deemed it so.

Never again did I try anything after that.

From day one, Leopold showed me that he was a man who took what he wanted- when he wanted. And that was never going to change.

That's how he was.

And that's how he would be until the day he drew his last breath.

Which couldn't be quick enough.

And unfortunately, until that day came, I belonged to him. No one else.

Stop! I just wanted to stop-

"Dad, you're home- oh, my God!" Audrey's voice- thank God for her- disrupted this nightmare I was going through, forcing Leopold to quickly back away from me and clear his throat as he ran a hand nervously through his hair. What was left of it. "I'm so sorry, you guys! We had no idea that you would be…" Audrey's cheeks turned crimson red.

As red as I suspected mine had become, which wasn't a good look for me. Anyone who would have seen us would think that I was actually enjoying what was happening right now. Which I suspected Audrey did. Emma on the other hand, stood frozen to the ground, her eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

God, this was so embarrassing and uncomfortable.

I wish Emma hadn't walked in on this ridiculous spectacle.

"Never mind that, dear-" I shake my head, instantly taking advantage of Audrey and Emma's presence to move away from Leopold a couple of steps. As I do, I rub my neck as it aches, but also because I hope the evidence of his assault weren't yet showing along my skin. "How was your tour?" My eyes move to a still-shocked Emma.

"It was wonderful!" Audrey grinned happily. "Emma was finally cleared."

"Oh, that's wonderful news!" I smile at Emma, who remains silent.

"Um," Audrey leans into me as she keeps her voice low. "I really need to talk to you about something. It's important."

"Of course." I frown, growing a little concerned. "Is everything alright?" My eyes move to Emma once more, who either can't or doesn't want to say anything.

Not that I blame her.

"Oh, it's nothing serious! It's good news, actually." Audrey grins excitedly as she links her arm along with Emma's.

The word: Marriage comes to mind, but I can't be sure. Whatever the news, it was big and obviously exciting for Audrey. I couldn't say much for Emma, as the poor dear remained shell-shocked to what she had just witnessed.

"Audrey," Leopold walks over to them, after he is done composing himself. All I can do is watch him as he says, "Now, I've told you before. I don't care if you are in your twenties. You are still too young for marriage."

I roll my eyes inside my mind, as Audrey isn't afraid to do in actual time and place for me.

"Dad, come on. I'm an adult- I can make my own decisions now, remember?" She smiles at him, the only way Audrey knew how. And it makes me smile a little. "Besides, it has nothing to do with marriage. So relax."

To hear that whatever news Audrey had to announce to me had nothing to do with marriage was a relief, even for me as I suspected it was for Leopold as well.

"Let's head into the kitchen and talk about it. You can help me get dinner started." I give my best smile, preparing for anything to be dropped on me by Audrey as I link my arm with hers before I start walking out of the library.

"Great! Come on, Em, come with us." Audrey is about to pull Emma along, when I catch, out of the corner of my eye, Leopold's hand claps along Emma's shoulder, causing her to turn. And in that moment, I could swear I saw a challenging glint out of Emma's own gaze.

But whether or not that was in fact true- I couldn't be sure.

"Ms. Swan…" He flashes his best, but sinister smile at Emma. "Why don't you come into my study? Just for a moment. I've been meaning to have a couple of words with you. In private, if I may."

I could hear my heart stop as quick as it was beating, that I can even feel it drop all the way down to where my feet were planted along the floor. And while Audrey's brow lifts in question as to why Leopold wanted to talk to Emma, my eyes turn nervously to him. My brain then wonders if he will make a big deal about the note and what Emma's reaction would be regarding it.

"Dad… Does it have to be now?" Audrey looks to me after hissing at her father, as if hoping that I would meddle in and prevent Leopold from talking to the poor girl.

Me preventing Leopold from anything was a joke, of course. Leopold did as he wanted in the end.

"Yes, it does." He makes sure to glare in Audrey's direction, the only way that would make even her back off in the attempt to fight him. He turns his attention back to Emma before he says, "It'll just take a moment. You have my word."

There's a smile to him, as a way of earning her trust, and making her believe that everything would be okay. That there was no real reason behind this little talk of theirs, except that of a concerned father. But I knew better. And something told me that in that moment- Emma knew better, too.

"Lead the way." Emma says with a smile of her own that frankly surprises me.

Her level of confidence toward Leopold surprised me, but not as much as her lack of fear.

Audrey and I stare at them both as they walk out of the library in silence. There is a moment where Emma gives Audrey a reassuring look before it is directed at me. At me! Why me? Did Emma know something I didn't? Did she catch that what was happening inside this library just a few minutes ago was anything short of an intimate moment between a husband and a wife?

The thought frightened me.

I hear Audrey scoff before she turns to me. "What on earth do you think he could possibly want to talk to her about?" She asks.

What indeed? I wonder.

"I haven't the faintest idea." Is all I can respond to her with a cool and centered voice, but inside, I was shaking with fear at the turn Leopold's behavior could take behind closed doors with Emma.

What in God's name would he say to her?