A/N: Okay... I want to assume, you've all read the third-person version of this story first, and as such, we are all aware what chapter this is. And yes, I dared to write it behind the eyes of Regina, who suffers a great deal here. I cried the first time I wrote this chapter, and I cried even harder tonight. This chapter is a tough one to read through, as it was writing it for me. So, if you wish to skip that one particular moment we all know happens to Regina, I won't blame you. Thank you all, who are here with me again, suffering through and enjoying this story.

Reading Discretion is Advised: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING - This chapter contains strong mentions of rape and attempted suicide.


Chapter 11: Regina


I never considered myself a shopaholic. But any opportunity to get out of the house was always an opportunity I could never pass out on. As you suspected, I didn't get out much. Nor did I have a lot of money to my name, left to me by my father before he died, but I had enough to be able to buy myself a dress for tonight's event.

Although, maybe I'll get lucky and get struck by a car. That way I didn't have to attend at all.

Audrey- in difference to me- was ecstatic being at the mall, going from store to store. I always wondered who she got that from, given that I wasn't a big shopper myself. Nor was Leopold.

Emma- the poor dear- looked to have had enough by the time we ended walking along the mall for a good while that day. Audrey kept holding her hand, which my eyes would look down to from time to time, and I would smile. Of course, the crowd in the mall this morning was absolutely overwhelming. And Emma didn't seem to appreciate big crowds any less than I did.

I wonder what it's like to hold someone's hand like that. I think to myself as I watch how easily Audrey and Emma's hands fall into place with one another. I guess a lot of couples liked being the affectionate type. Emma didn't seem to mind at all, that Audrey kept clinging to her side each and every time they walked. I can't help but even feel a little jealous, because that was something I, myself, would never come to know.

It's so funny how something as small as a simple act of affection could even make someone jealous. I'm sure that if things had been different with Leopold and I, and he had been the least bit as affectionate as Emma seems to be with Audrey, and she with her- I would have been a completely different person.

Again, something I would never come to know.

Emma looked absolutely calm, despite the fact that she wasn't anymore thrilled than I was for this party. She carried herself well through the crowd as I followed behind them, feeling more like a third wheel rather than a mother ready and willing to give advice on fashion, when I repeatedly settled on almost the same clothes, time and time again.

I take in Emma's appearance, her choice in jeans, her simple shirt and red leather jacket. She certainly dressed like a twenty-four year old, but as you would get to know her, she could throw you off by how mature she actually was. For a twenty-four year old. Good. Audrey could use someone in her life that would help her find some common ground in this world. Mind you, I loved my daughter dearly, but Audrey wasn't exactly what you called one to take things too seriously in life. Dare I say, she was still a little naive to some things.

Of course, who was I to talk? I was quite naive to a lot of things myself.

"Let's go in here." Audrey clinged to Emma's arm, wrapping her own arm firmly along hers and dragged her into the next available clothing store. Galliana's. We would be guaranteed to find proper for tonight's occasion here. Audrey, heading straight for the dress section, already was holding one out before me. "Mom, what do you think of this one?"

I step in for a closer look. The front of the dress was white, covered in small diamonds, while the bottom was a silk blue skirt that reached all the way down to the ankles. It was sleeveless, and I think it would look beautiful on Audrey.

"I love it. I think it would look beautiful on you." I smile in approval.

Audrey grinned as she turned to Emma next. "Em? What do you think?" She asked her, placing the dress in front of her body, giving Emma a more visual idea of how it could look on her.

It was a beautiful dress. Even I would wear it, but the last thing I wanted was to wear something that would cause heads to turn. I chuckle at the thought, because the last thing I ever thought of myself was how beautiful I looked.

"I think it's great," Emma smiled kindly at Audrey, not sounding at all sure and letting Audrey know that very fact. "Doesn't really seem like your style, though."

"Really?" Audrey's head tilts as she gives the dress one last look, inspecting it carefully as she placed it against her body. "I'm gonna try it on anyway." She walked right up to Emma and placed a hand delicately along her cheek. "It's not that I don't trust your judgment, babe, but you never know. What if it does look good on me?"

I stand aside, giving my attention to some dresses that hang by a rack to give them the privacy to settle on the dress.

"You're right." My eyes move to Emma as Audrey scatters away to the first dressing room she finds. The poor dear. She looked absolutely bored out of her mind to be here. She looked through some dresses, not really seeming interested in any of them.

The corners of my lips smile a little. "You don't really like this shopping thing very much, do you?" I dare to ask before I can even stop myself.

"Not really," Emma shrugs, her cheeks falling a little flushed- of embarrassment, no doubt- while her hands find a home along the pockets of her jeans. "Is that a bad thing?" She asks me, smiling a little.

I chuckle, shaking my head. "Not at all." Out of curiosity, I walk up with ease toward where Emma is standing and reach for the dress her fingers had been inspecting. It was an all pink dress. My eyes quickly scan the dress and scan Emma's body, seeing a perfect fit. "That would look good on you."

"It would, except-" Emma's nose scrunches up a little as she's looking down at the dress again.

"Not a big fan of the color pink, I presume?" I grin. It was obvious she hated it. Maybe not the dress, but the color.

Then again, maybe she was one of those girls who wasn't into dresses much. For herself, at least.

"My God, it's like you're reading my mind!" Emma's eyes go wide before me in a playful manner, her hand landing along her chest in a state of shock.

I shove her playfully along the arm, and she laughs. Her laugh causes me to smile because as I came to realize after our talk the other night, Emma wasn't so bad to be around. I actually kind of liked it.

She was funny, and it surprised me how easily she could make me smile. Something that didn't come easy these days for me.

"Well, I'm sure we can find something that will catch your fancy. Let's see…" I shuffle through the dresses, willing and wanting to help the poor dear out. Trying my best to put her out of her misery as quickly and as little painless as possible.

I inspect one dress after another, none which really convince me. And if they didn't convince me, there was a chance Emma wouldn't like them. I inspected some more, really concentrated and determined on the task at hand. There's chatter happening around us, and the clicking sound of hangers being pulled and placed back from their racks. Suddenly, as I shuffle through one more dress, my eyes automatically turn to Emma whom, God only knows how long, she had apparently been watching me.

"What?" I ask her, watching as her eyes travel from looking at my scarf back up to my eyes. My hand automatically reaches up to it, adjusting it a little around my neck. Were my bruises visible? What if Audrey saw them? I look around, seeing no sign of my daughter before I turn back to Emma.

Or had it been my scar? I suddenly began to feel very self-conscious of myself. I had this scar above my lip that I wasn't particularly fond of. In fact, every time I looked in the mirror, it made me wish I didn't have it. And now I'm afraid, maybe Emma might have noticed it, thinking how absolutely horrendous it looked.

"Nothing." Emma shakes her head, avoiding my eyes for a minute to look toward the dresses, reaching for one but not exactly to inspect it.

There was something on her mind, but what? I could sense a tension as it fell around us, and as I caught her looking at me, as kind as her eyes still were, her lips had thinned out into a frown that made me wonder what exactly had she been thinking. Of course, Ms. Swan and I weren't exactly friends, so why would she want to tell me? However, maybe she would bring it to Audrey's attention later. Whatever it is that clearly had been bothering her.

I just hoped it wasn't me or something I did.

I clear my throat as I reach for another dress, simply to lighten the unexplained tension. "What about this one?" I hold it before Emma to inspect.

The dress was black with spaghetti straps, a skirt that reached all the way to the ankles, and a V-neck line that would expose a little bit of cleavage.

Unknowingly, my eyes travel down to Emma's chest and the lines of her breasts underneath all of her clothes and my cheeks turn a shade of pink. Good thing Emma had been too busy looking at the dress to even notice my indigestion. "I think it would look fantastic on you." I speak with truth, because let's be honest. Emma certainly had the body for a dress such as this one.

"You do?" I see her brow lift as she's eyeing the dress for herself.

"I do," I hand over the dress to her. "I think it has elegance, which is exactly what my husband looks for every time he hosts a party."

"I take it you're not a fan of these parties?" Emma chuckles as she asks, gaining back my attention from looking through more dresses.

Was it that obvious? I roll my eyes. "I'm not, no. But, it's what Leopold wants." I breathe out a sigh.

"And you do everything he wants you to do?" I frown at her question. But then, as she leans into me, close enough to where I can pick up a scent of her shampoo, Emma says, "You know, it's okay to break the rules every now and again, right?" She whispers to me as if she was telling me a secret.

Again, I can't help but smile at this. At her action. It was as if she noticed the tension not only around us, but around me, and made it disappear. How did she do that?

"Now, how am I supposed to feel knowing that my daughter is dating someone who can't follow a simple rule?" My eyebrow lifts in a challenging and- dare I say it- playful manner, too. The playful and mischievous glint in Emma's eyes becomes noticeable, it's endearing to me.

"It's not that I can't follow a simple rule. I just happen to like challenging people, that's all." Emma shrugs.

Somehow, I believed that. I feel my smile again. "Is that how you were as a child?" And somehow, I wanted to know more.

"Judging from my mom's own words- yes. She always said that whenever she said no to something, I would do it anyway, just to spite her."

My smile grows, and Emma smiles with me. I can almost imagine her as a child. Even as a child she's carried with her the bravery I could never possess. How I wish I could spite Leopold. I'd do it every day, if I could.

"Dear, God," I grin, unable to help myself. "You must have given her quite the headaches."

Why can't I stop smiling around Emma?

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" Her eyes on me again, and I can't help but look into hers as my grin impossibly widens. I feel our eyes lock for a short moment, and something inside of me pounds hard along my chest that I can feel every beat of it.

I never realized how captivating Emma's eyes could be before. Then again, half the time I was afraid to look anyone in the eye. But Emma's eyes, apart from being gentle; they were so…

"So…" Both Emma and I turned to Audrey as she reappeared in front of us. Her arms were extended out as she twirled to show off the dress on her. "What do you think? Is it me?"

"That looks stunning on you, darling." I say to Audrey. I feel my eyes light up, I could cry.

Of course, to what mother did her daughter not look good in anything she wore?

"You think so?" Audrey beams. I can tell she really liked the dress. What wasn't to like?

"Absolutely!"

"Em, what do you think?" Audrey turns to her girlfriend now, twirling again to give her a good look from every angle.

"You look beautiful." Emma smiles, her smile wide and pearly white that even I turn to glance at it.

"Yeah?" Audrey frowns as she inspects the dress a little further, running her hands along the curves of her hips as she says, "I like it, but… I don't really feel like it's the dress for me." Her smile is directed at me next, "Mom, why don't you try it on?"

"Me?" It's my turn to frown, and my eyes grow impossibly wide to say the least.

"Yeah! I bet it would look perfect on you!"

On me? "Oh- no." I'm quick to shake my head. I absolutely refused. "I don't think so."

"Why not? You need a dress, don't you?" Audrey said quizzically. A crease forming along her brow.

I did need a dress. And that was a beautiful dress. In fact, it was exactly my size. But the less attractive I looked tonight, the better. I never really thought of myself as an attractive woman to begin with anyway.

So, I lied. "Yes, but I already have plenty of dresses at home. I don't need a new one." Truth was, I had Sidney throw them away. Because every time Leopold had a party, he had one too many drinks. And when he had one too many drinks, Leopold would become too rough. And when he became too rough-

My daughter's laughter disrupted my thoughts. "Don't be silly! You are trying this on. Come on." Without so much as a say in the matter, Audrey takes me by the hand, and drags me away.

Emma stays behind as I am being dragged away. "Audrey, no. I don't really think that dress is for me." I try my best to convince her, but as it would seem, absolutely nothing that I would say to her would convince her that this was the dress for me.

"It is so for you, mom. It's just your size, too!" Audrey enters the same dressing room as before and begins to remove her dress.

"Audrey," I step in front of the curtain for good measure.

"Alright, here," She hands me the dress as she reaches for her jeans and begins to place them back on a leg at a time.

"Audrey-" Again my protests are vain.

"Mom, just try it on." Audrey smiles at me, already having put on her shirt, she reaches for her shoes. "Trust me. You'll look gorgeous. You always do." She places a kiss along my cheek and waits for me outside, standing guard by the other side of the curtain.

I sigh in defeat and begin to remove my clothes, one piece at a time. I start with my scarf, and my eyes fall along the mirror, picking up the sight of the faint bruising along my neck. Nothing a little makeup won't be able to cover up later. It wouldn't be the first time I'd had to use makeup to cover up my husband's way of love for me. If you could call it such a thing.

"Are you alright, mom? Do you need any help?" Audrey asks from the other side of the curtain.

My eyes grow wide as I step away from the mirror, fearing that she might want to look in and will discover the marks her father ever so lovingly left me. "Fine. Just- don't come in. I'm not fully dressed." I say to her, quickly working my way through removing my shirt, followed by my pants.

Usually, this would be the part where I would stare at myself in the mirror to have a good look at my body as I stood there, semi-naked. 'Gorgeous,' the last thing I wanted to look in this dress was gorgeous.

I hurry with the dress, sliding it up my body, and placing my arms through one strap at a time. I reached as far as my hand could go along my back to zip up the zipper. I couldn't reach all the way to the top, but halfway would have to do. I turn to look in the mirror, allowing my eyes to take in the sight of me in this dress. To my misfortune, it was beautiful on me. And I knew Leopold would think so, too. I frown at the thought.

As you could already imagine, I hated wearing anything too revealing or even a simple elegant dress like this one in front of Leopold. I was a mere object to him in a skirt rather than an attractive wife.

"Alright," I breathe out, drawing in another quick breath for sheer bravery as I step out of the curtains.

"Oh, my-" Audrey's eyes positively light up as they see me. "I knew this dress was for you! Em!"

"Audrey-" I attempt to whisper but my voice fails me, sounding a little louder than a whisper. I hurried back behind the curtain because the last thing I needed was for another person to confirm how great this dress looked on me.

"Check this out. Tell me she doesn't look stunning." But Audrey was too quick for me. Before I could even attempt to remove the dress, she had already pulled back the curtain, exposing me.

My eyes instantly go to Emma's as she's standing before me, literally gawking at me. Her mouth opens as she wants to say something, but it would seem I wasn't the only one unable to produce words today. Her eyes sparkled and they wouldn't move away from me. I looked toward her chest to check she was still breathing, because she stood absolutely still for a good minute before me as I accepted defeat once more and stepped out again from behind the curtain, that I questioned her breathing ability.

Why was she looking at me like that? My eyes locked onto hers, trying to find the answer to my own question behind them. There was something there. Something unfamiliar. A look I couldn't quite understand.

I hated being the center of attention, too, and I'm sure Emma could tell given that my cheeks grew crimson red. Especially since a few heads turned to look my way. But I wasn't going red along my cheeks because of them, or because of being the center of attention in that unexpected moment that I had no say in the matter. I had gone red because of the look in Emma's eyes as they would not look away from it. It was almost as if she were in a trance that I had no idea how I even placed her in it in the first place.

Suddenly the room fell hot around me. I wanted to rush back inside those curtains. My hands would be fidgeting but they were too busy covering up the bruising along one of my wrists for Audrey not to notice.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Audrey asked Emma, finally allowing me to see her blink. Maybe stepping out of that trance for good.

"Y- yeah. Beautiful."

I couldn't explain what happened next. A few seconds ago I was ready to run out of this store- dress and all. And a few minutes ago, I wished with all my might for the ground to swallow me whole, six feet deep. But then she stopped me. The look in her eyes calmed me, once again saving the day with just one look. And her response to this dress as it covered up my body settled my sudden panic, but brought an alienated discomfort to settle along my stomach.

Emma, thought I looked beautiful… Suddenly, that word didn't seem so horrible to me as all I could do was smile in response and gratitude toward her.

How did she do that?

"What do you have there, Em?" Audrey asked Emma, eyeing the jacket she held along her arm.

"Oh." Emma held up the black suit jacket, a grin stretching across her lips. "What do you think? I kind of like this better."

It was a nice jacket, much more her style, I would think. I visualized Emma wearing it with a pair of matching pants. "I think black would suit you well." I smile as I turn to Audrey. "Don't you think, Audrey?"

"Yeah! Definitely." Audrey smiles as she walks up to Emma, placing a kiss along her lips. "Much more you. Come on, let's go try it on." She says, taking her by the hand and guiding her to a dressing room.


The party was becoming a success, just as Leopold wanted it to be. Sidney would be walking around with drinks served and ready to hand out to anyone running on empty, answering the door when knocked on or rang, while I would smile and greet whoever arrived.

"Have I mentioned how well you look in that dress tonight?" I froze as Leopold spoke behind me, leaning into me.

"Thank you, but it really is nothing special." I reply, throwing out a forced smile to one of our guests who smiles at me kindly.

"Oh, you're wrong about that." I feel his hand reach along my lower back and move down south. As his hand cups along, my eyes close and my jaw clenches.

"Drinks, sir?" Thank God for Sidney, who comes up to us, offering us a beverage. Although, Leopold already had more than enough.

As much as I hated the idea of parties in this house. I dreaded its end, and what awaited me after.

"Be sure to begin serving another bottle, Sidney." Leopold reaches for a drink. "I don't want anything to go wrong. Understood?"

"Yes, sir." Sidney nods, placing the drinks before me now.

"Thank you, Sidney." I smile at him as he smiles back at me, reaching for a drink of my own.

"Ma'am, you'll be happy to know that Mrs. Gold has arrived. I do believe she's looking for you." Sidney smiles, directing me to where Belle is with his eyes.

I immediately moved away from Leopold's hold, "Excuse me just a minute, dear. I'm going to say hello to Belle." I forced a smile on him, which had become exhausting and fled towards Belle.

Thank you, Sidney. I make sure to thank him with my own eyes as I walk past him, reaching for another glass of champagne to give to Belle.

"Regina!" Belle gasped, smiling from ear to ear at me.

"Belle." I smile, placing a kiss along her cheek. She looked great in her choice of yellow dress tonight. Elegant as always. "Lovely to see you, as always. Thank you for coming. I think I would have gone out of my mind if you hadn't."

Belle brushed a hand along the air, dismissing my words. "Please. I wouldn't miss a chance to see you. Besides, Audrey's home! That must be so thrilling for you and Leopold." She smiles again.

"It is." I smile, and this time it isn't forced. "It has been lovely having her back home. I honestly wouldn't want her to leave."

"Oh, of course. That's understandable." Said Belle.

"But, Audrey and Emma must return to school."

"Emma?" Belle's head tilts quizzically at me, taking a sip of her champagne.

"Yes. You remember, her girlfriend I told you about-"

"Oh, of course!" Belle grinned. "If she finally brought her home to meet the parents, that must mean that things are moving along to a more serious level."

"It seems to be that way." I smile, feeling happy for Audrey. I look around for signs of Audrey and Emma as I take a sip of my champagne. I wonder what could be taking them so long to come down.

"So, how do you like her?" Asked Belle, taking me completely off guard.

"Pardon?" I raise a quizzical eyebrow.

She grins. "Emma, the girlfriend! Is she nice?"

"She is very nice." I smile. "I'll be sure to introduce you."

"Audrey!" I hear Leopold's voice from across the room, and see him beckoning Audrey. I turn back to Audrey and spot Emma, elegantly- might I add- dressed in her all black attire. Her hair was picked up in a neat ponytail. I smile a little at her sharp appearance. I knew that suit would look perfect on her. Emma definitely had the body for it.

"That's her." I nod over toward Emma, pointing her out to Belle.

Belle turns her eyes into their direction and her brow lifts. "That's the girlfriend?" She turns to me, seeing me nod in confirmation. "Wow. Well, Audrey definitely knows how to pick 'em, huh?" I help myself to a chuckle as Belle takes a sip of her champagne.

"She certainly does." My eyes are trained on Emma from across the room. Poor dear. She looked positively bored out of her mind surrounded by Leopold's colleagues. Audrey however, fit right in, and to Leopold's displeasure, she was proudly introducing her as her girlfriend. Quite proud to have her by her side.

"Oh! Did I tell you that I finally got around to reading the Fifty Shades series?" Belle beamed, like she always did when talking about a new book or a set of series she has read. I quite enjoyed that about her.

I turn to Belle, gifting her with a genuine smile. "You mentioned you were on the first book last time we spoke. I didn't realize you were already done." I chuckle.

"Have you met me? I couldn't put them down once I started!" She laughs with me. "I've just purchased another book by the same author, too. Maybe next time I visit, I'll bring it over for you…"

Belle's voice trails off in my ears as I turn my attention back to my daughter. My eyes move to Emma again, and I'm taken off guard as I find Emma's gentle, kind eyes staring back in my direction. She was looking at me! And she gives me a small smile from across the crowded room. I can't pinpoint why, but something inside of me stirs and I panic. I rapidly blink and quickly turn back to Belle, who luckily hadn't noticed anything at all.

"I mean, I watched the movies first, which was probably a mistake, but I couldn't help myself- my Robert refused to indulge me, and I didn't want to wait." I nod a couple of times before my attention is focused back on Emma. Who's eyes- to my surprise- were still on me. "Or what do you think, Regina?"

Why was she so focused on me? Better yet- why did it matter so much to me? I won't admit to feeling a little self-conscious with Emma staring so much, but then I remember that back at the clothing store, she actually liked how I looked in this dress. Still… Why? More importantly, why couldn't I look away?

"Regina?" Belle snaps her fingers before me and it startles my attention back on her. "What happened? You were like gone there for a minute." She chuckles.

I shook my head and blinked a few times. "I'm sorry, Belle," I gave her my best apologetic smile. "So, you'll let me know how the books are, then?"

"Of course! Who else will tolerate my book discussions if not you?" She laughs. "But, I do recommend you watch the films as well. They're not bad."

If only I could. But my husband didn't like having a television inside the house. The only one around this house was in Sidney's bedroom. I couldn't even remember when was the last time I watched anything.

"I'll think about it." I chuckle, taking my last sip of champagne before I lightly pat Belle's arm. "Excuse me a minute, will you?" Refill." I hold up my empty glass and along the way I hand it over to Sidney, who smiles at me.

Emma's eyes are on me again as I am moving in closer and closer. And I can't seem to look away from her gaze either as I finally approach them.

"So, Audrey, how many more years left of school do you have to do?" One of Leopold's colleagues asked her.

"Oh, well-" Immediately, I cut in, interrupting Audrey's reply.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, gentlemen," I smile as I turn to Audrey. "Audrey, dear, allow Emma to get some champagne, hm? She can bring a glass back for you."

It was the perfect excuse to save Emma from a swamp of live-eating vultures. No offense intended to my daughter.

"Oh, yeah! Go ahead, babe." Audrey places a kiss along Emma's cheek, and I watch as Leopold shifts on the balls of his feet, rather uncomfortably.

"Excuse me." I step aside, smiling at everyone as Emma is quick to swim her way through the crowd and gladly follow me toward one of the tables, where I had had Sidney place already served glasses of champagne. "Thank you for that." She murmurs over to me, her stance a little more relaxed.

I chuckle, "I'm afraid it's sink or swim, dear. They will drag you down to boredom if you allow them to."

Emma shares a chuckle with me as she reaches for a glass of champagne and helps herself to a sip. As the champagne dances inside of her mouth, I turn to a light hum of appreciation coming from the back of her throat. Clearly, she liked my choice. Good.

"First time?" I dare ask. The corner of my lip tilts into a small smile as my eyes glance over.

"Excuse me?" Emma gawked at me.

"Champagne."

"Oh. Yeah," She shrugs and helps herself to another sip.

"Word to the wise. Drink slowly." I reach for another glass of champagne and pass it along to Emma. My eyes on the crowd before they turn back to her to see her nod.

"Right," Emma breathes, thanking me with another nod before she's back at my daughter's side.

Hours passed and I continued to make sure everything was set. I had moved away from the living room area, and had entered the kitchen with Sidney to make sure everything was well ready for dinner. It was.

"That looks perfect. Thank you, Sidney. You can begin serving now, please." I smile at him.

"Yes, ma'am." He smiles back.

I exit the kitchen, and as I'm walking down the hallway, I stop at the sight of Emma.

"Dinner is almost ready if you're hungry." I smile.

"I'm starving, actually." Said Emma.

"Oh, Regina, there you are!" Belle walks up to me, but her attention turns to Emma. "Oh! Hello." She greets her.

"Belle, this is Emma Swan. She's Audrey's-" I begin my introduction, but Belle is quick to dive in.

"Girlfriend! Of course, Regina's mentioned you." I can't understand why, but my cheeks slightly flush as Belle gives me away in front of Emma. Especially after I catch sight of Emma's eyes looking right at me.

"She has?" Emma smiles at me before turning back to Belle and shaking her outstretched hand.

"It's a real pleasure to meet you. I'm Isabella Gold, but you can call me Belle. I prefer it." Said Belle.

"Okay. Belle it is." Emma smiles at her. "The pleasure is all mine."

"You're a real charmer, aren't you?" Belle teases her and Emma's cheeks don't fail to turn a shade of pink.

"Belle," I murmur over to her, wanting to save Emma from the overly embarrassed flattery.

"Ah, Belle, there you are." We all turn to the sight of Robert Gold. None other than Belle's husband.

"Oh, Bobby! Bobby, come, I want to introduce you to Emma." Belle smiles.

"Charmed, I'm sure." Robert nods, impolite as always. I can't help but glare in his direction, while his attention simply remains on Belle. "Sweetheart, join me, won't you? I want to introduce you to Charles' wife." He holds out his arm.

"Oh," Belle smiles at me and then at Emma. "Excuse me a moment, I'll be right back." Emma and I watch as poor Belle scatters away to be the source of entertainment.

"Please, tell me that's the husband and I'll shoot myself." Emma murmurs to me. It was with humor of course, which I try hard not to laugh at but a chuckle manages to escape me.

"Unfortunately, yes." I turn back to Emma, grinning as she mouths a very clear 'wow!'

"I don't understand how someone as lovely and as beautiful as Belle could ever-" Emma shakes her head, and I can't help but laugh a little this time at her state of shock.

"To be honest, I couldn't agree with you more."

"I take it you're not a Robert Gold fan?" Emma asked me as we walked along the hallway.

I'm quick to shake my head. "You would be correct."

Emma nods as she walks close beside me. "Well, I guess when love strikes you, it just strikes you."

"Indeed." I nod and we share a smile as we join everyone around the dining room for dinner.

After dinner was over and a few more minutes of boredom went by, I was walking back into the house after seeing a few guests out myself. Out of simple courtesy. And as I walk into the house, I can hear Leopold's strong and drunken laughter echo from within the living room, and I don't hold back an eye roll. At least a couple of his friends kept him busy and out of my sight. But I knew that once the night was truly over- I would have to see him in the bedroom.

Before those thoughts can sink their way into my head, I spot Emma, standing by the stairs. Her eyes were slightly dark as they glared across the room. Daring to follow her line of sight, I spot Audrey talking to one of Leopold's youngest colleagues. Another college student who transferred to Boston just last year to work under Leopold's wing.

I shake my head and chuckle at Emma's obvious jealousy and decide to put her out of her misery as I walk up to her. She was too busy keeping an eye on Audrey to even see me coming. "Don't let it get to you, dear. He's harmless."

Emma's eyes move over to me in a startle. "What makes you so sure?" She asked me, her eyes on Audrey again.

I chuckle once more and my brow lifts. "Because he's gay."

Emma's eyes stare widely at me as I simply nod.

"I'm surprised you can't tell." I said.

"Yeah, well some guys are able to hide it very well. Some women, too." She had a point there. I've been able to hide my own inclinations for many years, living in a role that I never wanted in the first place.

"Caviar?" A pretty waitress, who had been hired by my husband for extra help came up to Emma, holding a platter of leftover caviar before her. Everything had been cleared out hours ago already. So, why was she offering- oh- that's when I noticed the girl's eyes practically oozing with interest toward Emma. Of course, she was interred. Who wouldn't be?

"Oh." I watch Emma carefully as she can't quite decide if she dared try caviar. From the look of her creased brow, I think it was safe to guess that she probably didn't know what caviar even was. "Sure." But, she decided to try it.

I look at Audrey, who is far too busy to notice someone else's interest in Emma before I turn back to the girl, who's smile has impossibly grown wider around the corners of her lips. I roll my eyes this time as I catch her helping herself to practically ogling the clothes off of Emma. I consider clearing my throat, but before I can even bring the sound up my throat, the girl has already scattered happily away.

"Looks like you've caught her fancy, Ms. Swan." I feel the need to inform Emma of this, my eyes trained on Audrey as I do.

"What- her? No way." Emma turns to me, smiling and shaking her head. "If anyone should catch her fancy- it's you."

Me? I don't hesitate to turn, my brow lifted. "Oh? And why's that?"

Emma is about to take a bite out of her caviar of choice when she halts at my question. Though, judging from the way she fidgets, and looks surprisingly in my direction, I can tell she's nervous about the way she dared to compliment me. And if that hadn't been a dead giveaway for me already, Emma stumbling through her words, sure was.

"Well… B- Because…" The corner of my lips threaten to tilt up on me at the way she slightly stutters through. "That dress compliments you well, you know."

"Why, Ms. Swan…" My brow remains lifted. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were hitting on your girlfriend's mother."

Emma's cheeks turn redder than I had ever seen them. She tries so hard to produce a couple of words of apology toward me, but immediately fails. I actually laugh a little. My own teasing behavior surprised even me at that moment, but the truth was… Emma was too much fun to have teased the way I just had. Of course I knew she wasn't hitting me, but I couldn't help myself. It was my way of thanking her for saving me from another dull moment.

"Thank you. This evening has been quite entertaining with you here."

"Well, I aim to please," She grins quite shyly at me. Her body seemed more relaxed. My smile leaves me as I watch her as she's about to place the entire covered toast of caviar into her mouth.

"I wouldn't eat that." I warned her. Not only did I have a gut feeling that Emma would not be too keen on the taste of caviar, but she had chosen the most horrible one of all.

"Why not?"

"It's an acquired taste. I'm afraid you won't like it."

"Is that a way of saying it's one of your fancy appetizers?" She snorts at my warning, "Please." My arms cross over my chest as I watch her pop the entire thing into her mouth. Her chewing is becoming slower and slower.

By the time Emma proves me right, giving me clear signals of disgust toward the appetizer, I am already offering her a napkin, which she quickly takes and uses it to spit out the entire thing.

"What the hell is this?" She asks me, helping herself to another napkin to wipe down her tongue.

"Fish eggs." I say matter-of-factly, and I threaten to laugh again as a gagging sound is produced from the back of Emma's throat.


I sigh in content once everyone is gone and I've come out of a long and much needed shower. I make my way to sit in front of my vanity and begin to comb my hair. Instantly, my eyes look through the mirror, seeing a much intoxicated Leopold stumble his way into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. I frown.

"Oh, good… You're up…" His words slur through, and I sit perfectly still as he walks up behind me.

I feel his lips land at the crook of my neck and my brow wrinkles in disgust. I hear him draw in a sharp intake of breath, inhaling my freshly showered scent and my blood freezes over. I hated the sound of his breathing. I hated the way he always felt the need to do such a thing whenever he wanted to- I feel his hands along my shoulders, slowly trailing their way down and back up, until one of his hands possessively snakes its way into my pajama top, pushing the hem aside as he reaches for one of my bare breasts underneath.

"Now, that the party is over, we can finally have some fun of our own." He whispers near my neck and my hair. My eyes shut tight as I feel a rough pinch along my left nipple. "You deserve it after doing such a great job tonight."

I turn my head to look away, to avoid picking up the scent of alcohol on his breath. "Leopold, please, not tonight. I'm exhausted." I pleaded. I try giving all of my attention to my own reflection but I catch sight of his hand moving along inside of my pajama top instead.

I dare to push him away, reaching for his hand as I quickly stand from my vanity and escape toward the bed. "You should sleep. It'll do you good." I say to him. Hoping that would be the end of this, and he would pass out.

I was wrong.

Leopold moves over to me faster than I could pull the sheets back along the bed. I feel him grab me and turn me to face him. "What are you doing? I said no!" I fight him. I try to fight him, but he's always proven to be much stronger than me. The more I try to fight him, the more his arms wrap around me and keep me close.

I feel my body being thrown savagely on the bed. His hands are already yanking down on my pajama bottoms, and I try fighting back with a few kicks. But, even drunk, he's stronger. He's grabbing a hold of my legs, tugging and pulling until he's successfully removed my bottoms, and then he's on me. I try screaming in that moment, not giving a damn if Audrey and or Emma heard me. But my throat closed on me. And Leopold's hand harshly cupped its way over my mouth so hard that I couldn't even hear myself. My head was being pushed harshly along the bed, I felt as if I was suffocating. Secretly, I wished he would push harder enough to break my neck. Maybe then I wouldn't feel anything of what was about to happen.

Instead, I felt my face sting as the back of his hand slapped me across the face. It stung so bad, I could feel my cheek grow hot. I hoped and prayed maybe Audrey or Emma would have heard the loud sound the impact had produced. But what good would that have done? Leopold would just have me lie about what happened.

His hand was over my mouth again, pressing down harder as I became impossibly quiet. "How many times have I warned you not to fight me?" He hissed, his lips brushing along the back of his hand.

My eyes shut tight and I could feel tears along the corners of my eyes, running their way down my temples. I decided not to open them, but a whimper escaped me as Leopold's fingers yanked the rest of my bottoms down and worked their way past my underwear. I knew this would happen tonight. And there was never anything I could do to change the outcome of it. Nothing.

"How many times do I have to remind you that we are married, and being so, I can have you every night if I wanted to?" No! This wasn't happening! I tried my best to push him off, even if he was stronger. Even if he was bigger. I tried, but his hands caught me by my wrists and pinned them down painfully along the bed.

He warned me not to fight him, but the truth was, me trying to fight him is what excited him the most. Although, in some sadistic way, I believed Leopold always wanted to believe that I liked it this way. Because this was the only way he would want to have sex.

"Don't fight me. It'll only hurt worse if you do, you know that." He hissed at me, already working his way through preparing himself. My vision had turned so blurred from the tears I shed that I didn't even see him remove himself from his pants this time. I feel my legs being pushed aside, and as he's positioned in between them, my eyes shut again. Tighter this time as he enters me.

His hand is over my mouth again to keep me from screaming. His movements increase as does his breathing. My hand tightens along a pillow, and my eyes shut tighter as I fight through the stinging pain. I try- with all my best effort- if I can have any in that moment, to mentally escape. I try to fight through the burning sensation that he's causing me to feel with each plunge he takes into me. I try to hang on, and I cry because I want this over with. I want it finished.

My attempt is to numb myself to what's happening to me, and for a short moment, I feel like I can.

I try to imagine myself in another life, in another world- away from this one. Away from him. With something better awaiting me. My father's horses come to mind. How free I always felt while riding them out in an open field. Always feeling like nothing could touch me, nothing or no one could hurt me. I think of Daniel, how he was so happy to see me that day we visited him along the Orchard.

Audrey. My eyes shut tighter and more tears escaped me. She has no idea what kind of a monster her father is. She has no idea what is happening right now. I can feel him again, I can hear his breathing, his grunts of sadistic pleasure brushing along my skin. My wrists are being held down now as he is preparing to be done with me. My legs hurt- everything hurts and this won't end.

My eyes shut tighter again, and I am begging myself to stop feeling. Just stop! I hear the bed moving, I feel the mattress below me, I feel him… I don't feel him. Everything is black and it's almost becoming harder for me to breathe. And then… I see Emma. I see her downstairs with me, engraved in our earlier conversations. How pleasant her company felt. The gentle look in green eyes that somehow always caught my attention.

Stop… Just stop…


Water from another shower cascaded over me as I found myself in the bathroom hours later. I had lost track of what time it was, and I honestly didn't give a damn about the time. All I wanted was to wash away everything that that bastard had done to me tonight. I wanted to feel clean again- if I could ever feel that way again- I wanted to disappear inside this very shower. I wanted to forget every sound, every liquored scent, him sadistically finishing inside of me.

But nothing helped. I couldn't shut anything out of my mind.

All I could do was cry as I continued to wash myself all over. I checked myself for any signs of blood, which thank God, there was none. My hand landed along my cheek which still stung, more so the corner of my mouth.

Why did I have to put myself through this? Why did I stand it? Why?

When would it all be over?

I grew angry as I wondered. I hated him. With every fiber of my being, I hated him. I hated myself most of all, for being so weak. For never daring to stand up to him. God… Why did you have to be such a fucking coward? I cussed at myself, shouting inside of my head.

My hands grip onto my hair and my mind goes into overdrive. What if this can stop? What if I really had the power to make this happen for me? Maybe I would never possess the strength to ever stand up to a man like Leopold White, but what if… What if I had the strength to end it some other way?

Quicker than I have before, I shut off the water to the shower, dress myself in a new pair of sleeping attire and exit the bathroom. With Leopold passed out on the bed, satisfied with himself for what he had done, I moved along the bedroom window. My eyes watch the blue swerving water of the swimming pool. What if…

Would I dare? Maybe this was the only way. If I couldn't find courage to stand up and fight for myself, I had to have courage for this.

Without giving it a second thought, I exit the bedroom and walk down the hallway, past Audrey's bedroom and rush quietly past the stairs. I make my way into the living room and head into the kitchen. As I exit through the back double doors, I walk along the pool until I stand before it.

Do it. You're already here. I will myself for this. This was the only way to end everything for me. This was the only way I would ever have some peace, and would be away from Leopold for good.

Slowly, I place one leg inside the pool, feeling the cool water wrap around my ankle, all the way up my calf. I hiss a little as I am incredibly sore. I stop to watch the water quietly dance around me with each of my movements. It is almost mesmerizing to watch. And knowing that this would be the last thing I would ever get to see tonight, made it all the more beautiful for me. So much, my eyes teared up again.

Keep going. Don't think about it. Just keep going. You can make this stop.

I push myself, feeling the movement in my legs grow heavy, but I push through. My mind was already in a dark enough place to give me that last shove I needed to get it over and done with. Everything will stop… The water sploshes around me as I step further inside the pool, feeling it rise quickly over my breasts, wrapping me around in a cold blanket.

Don't think. Just do it! I tell myself. My eyes closed as I allowed my body to float along the water, face down, using my feet to push myself further into the deeper end. Tiny bubbles escaped past my lips as I breathed out what would be my last breath, trying my best to speed the process before my smallest glimpse of bravery to finally be able to wipe myself out of this world and out of Leopold's life would wear off.

This was a hell of a way to go, but it would all be over. By morning, I would be found dead, and it would all be over. I could finally be in a place where I would feel no pain, I would suffer no more, and I could see my father above all else. As I thought of my father, my mind allowed me to gather up what I wanted to be my last beautiful memories. Of what I would miss the most when I was gone.

I would miss the Orchard. The only place to bring me happiness. I would miss Daniel. The only friend I've ever had- apart from Sidney and Belle. And Audrey… My daughter, Audrey… I would miss her most of all. I only hoped she would find it in her heart to forgive me and understood why I had to do what I finally dared myself to do.

My books. I would miss turning their pages and going on memorable adventures with them. My horses. The only good things in my life.

My eyes shut tight as I could feel my chest start to ache, pleading me for a level of oxygen that would never come again.

This was it. This was the end… My eyes didn't open, but my ears picked up a faint splash taking place around me. Of course, that was the last thing I heard before I gave in to the blissful feeling of death.

Everything was black. And the next thing I remember was waking up all over again, taking in a sharp intake of breath as I proceeded to cough. I could feel water running down the corner of my mouth. My eyes were opened. I was breathing. Was I back? My eyes couldn't seem to focus, but my ears could pick up on some words, clinging me to dear life.

"Regina, hey- you're okay. You're okay." I cough once again, feeling my chest rise and fall, each breath harsher than the last. I cling to the sound of that voice that sounded too familiar. I feel a hand, a gentle touch along my neck, along my jawline. Where was I? My eyes blinked into focus, and before me, inches away from my face, staring down at me- was Emma. "You're okay. I got you."

I blink again, focusing my vision more, forcing it to help me see what was truly happening. Had… Did Emma jump in after me? Is that what happened? "Emma?" I remember breathing out her name, and seeing a clear-as-day smile spread across the corner of her lips.

"Yeah," Emma breathes, her face and hair all drenched, just as I was. "Yeah, it's me. It's me, I got you. You're safe now."

Safe? She had saved me. Emma had actually jumped into the water to pull me out. And she is saying I was safe. "Y- you- you saved me." I breathed out. My hand placed itself over my eyes and I just break. I couldn't handle it anymore. I shake with each silent sob I allow my body to release. "You-" Before I can even think, my body sits up and throws itself into Emma's arms. My arms wrap so tightly around her, my hands splay along her wet back that I just cry more.

I am aching all over, I am cold, and I couldn't believe what I was about to do. Had Emma not jumped in to save me, I would have been dead. And as I feel Emma's own arms wrap around me, holding me to her, as I recall the fear that I saw in her eyes as I woke up, holding onto a string of life, pulling myself away from death's arms. I am thankful. Truly thankful.

"It's okay. It's okay, Regina, I've got you now." I hear Emma breath, her arms only holding me tighter. Keeping me safe. "I've got you. You're safe."

Emma continued to whisper that to me for the remainder of the night. And for once, I actually believed I was safe.


A/N: Again, as I did in my third-person story, I want to take a quick moment to say: Suicide is no joke, and that wasn't what was intended here. Nor is rape. I promise that after this rough chapter, SQ will only grow closer, and Regina will NEVER attempt against her own life.