A/N: My hands are cramping up.
Disclaimer: I own only Jocelyn Harford, nothing of Stranger Things. All rights go to the Duffer Brothers, and Netflix.
With Or Without You
Chapter 8
Just Like Heaven
[Jocelyn]
"Joce!"
I can hear Eddie calling me. I don't move, I don't turn. I don't do anything. I'm sitting on the same stump where he first drank my blood.
I hear his pace slow as he spots me. My heart beats fast as I feel his presence.I can hear him walking towards me, and I can't breathe.
"Joce?" His voice is quiet. Timid, even. This is unnatural for him. It's weird. I slowly turn to look at him. His hands are in his pockets as he walks towards me. "I, um, uh… I just wanted you to… I mean… I wanted to–" He's stammering, and his face looks flushed. I raise a brow, caught off guard by the way he's acting.
"Hey. We doing this, or what?" I remove my pocket knife, opening the blade and holding it over my unscathed palm, waiting.
Eddie freezes, eyeing the knife. "Y-Yeah. I mean… Joce, listen." He takes a breath. He looks like he wants to say something.
I don't give him time. I know he's just going to probably tell me he's sorry for what happened to me. To tell me he cares and I'm such a good friend. Not that I hate the idea, mind you, but still, it hurts. I can't look at him like I used to, and knowing he still views me the same way… It means Vecna was right. My heart aches as I think about this. I mean, I know Eddie cares about me. Just… not in the way I wish he would. I know I'm being a stupid giant brat right now, but I don't care. Eddie needs blood. He looks awful. His skin is pale, and he has dark circles under his eyes. I can practically hear his stomach grumbling. This is for him, not me.
It's for him.
"Don't apologize." I say idly, before pressing the blade of the knife to my palm. Fresh, scarlet blood appears on my hand. I wince slightly.
Eddie stares in horror as I slide the blade over my palm. "Joce!" His voice cracks. He quickly rushes to grab my hand before I can do anything else. Not that I was going to. Surprisingly, he pulls my bleeding hand to his chest.
"Please… please don't do this." He whispers.
I force myself to stare up at Eddie. "Eddie…" My voice is quiet, but I try to make it sounds as gentle as I can. "I know you hate this. I'm sorry. But we don't have a choice." When I see the pain in his eyes increase, I press on quickly. "You look like shit. I know you felt better when you drank last time. I could tell. Just…" I can feel my lip beginning to tremble. Seeing those deep brown eyes staring into mine; he looks so destroyed. I just want to hold him and never let go. "...just let me do this for you. Okay?"
Eddie seems to be fighting with himself. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, before looking at me, his eyes filled with unshed agony. "Joce… I hate seeing you hurt yourself for me. I hate seeing you cut yourself. This is… Joce this is insane."
I am fighting with my own feelings now. I can feel my anguish threatening to spill over. I take a breath, and push through. I put down the knife, and I can see Eddie momentarily relax. He will not, however, be happy with what I suggest next.
"Would…would you rather bite me?" I ask softly. "We can do that, if you want."
My words hang in the air for a moment. Eddie is staring at me. His dark eyes are huge, and I can see them darting rapidly around. He's considering my offer, I can tell. But, he's fighting himself. His expression is somewhere between agony and temptation. "I… I don't know." He takes a deep breath before speaking again. The words leave his lips slower this time, as if he's picking them carefully. "I don't think that's a good idea, Joce." There's a small note of finality in his voice.
"Why not?" I whisper. He sighs heavily.
"If I bite you, I won't stop until I'm drinking you dry."
My eyes widen at the statement. I can hear my pulse in my ears. My mouth feels dry, and I find my eyes suddenly land on his lips. His tongue is slowly tracing his lower lip, and his own eyes are on my throat. He seems to realize what he's doing, and looks away immediately.
"Joce… I don't know if…" He trails off, looking like he's on the brink of tears.
I can tell Eddie is trying to fight it. I can tell he's struggling. But, I know he needs this. I take a deep breath, and approach him slowly. I take his face in my hands, looking him in the eyes. His hands come up to cup mine. I can feel his thumbs grazing mine, and I have to remember to breathe.
"It's ok, Eddie. I trust you." I can hear the pain in my voice. "You're my best friend in the entire world. You're the biggest and best part of my life. I.. I…" I want to tell him I love him, so desperately, but I can't do it. Not here. Not now. Instead, I gently guide his lips to my neck.
"You can bite me Eddie. I know you won't hurt me."
My words seem to undo him. He's frozen in place, and the world stops as he leans in for what feels like the longest moment in my life. My heart is racing and a million different emotions wash over me as I look into his eyes. I can see Eddie's brain working furiously with something. He's probably trying to decide if he wants to do this, or not…
Oh, how wrong I am.
"I love you, Joce."
Those four little words root me to the spot. My heart does this kind of weird figure eight in my chest, and I momentarily feel like I'm going to faint. As I am grappling with this information, Eddie's control begins to slip. His hands close over my wrists, and he's pulling me towards him; his lips towards my throat. My brain is short circuiting.
"You…love…me?" I manage to choke out.
He pulls back and looks at me, the desperation in his eyes evident, but also the hunger running rampant through his body.
"Yes. I do. Joce… I love you." He seems to try to say more, but instead, a low growl escapes his lips, and he pulls me close against him, pressing his lips against the side of my neck. I'm paralyzed to react. Slowly, I feel him open his mouth, and his teeth graze my skin, barely just enough to break the skin, and draw very little blood.
The moment Eddie does this, I let out an involuntary moan. It doesn't hurt when he does. But holy shit does it feel good.
What the fuck?
I see Eddie take a deep breath in and close his eyes as he bites me even harder. His eyes are rolling back and a look of pure bliss comes over his face - and his hands begin to clench and press into my skin, pulling me in closer.
"Oh, God, Joce… Oh, God." He groans against my skin. I feel a jolt of electricity rush through me. I didn't expect this. I didn't expect it to feel so good. Holy hell. This is nothing like the first time. This is… this is amazing.
I slowly wrap my arms around Eddie, pulling him closer, feeling his jaw work against my skin, hearing his soft groans. Absentmindedly, I find myself starting to lift his shirt, feeling the skin of his back under my fingertips.
Eddie lets out a low groan as my fingers brush his skin. I feel a shiver run through him, and goosebumps erupt on his skin.
"Oh, God… Joce. This is better than I ever imagined." He sounds dizzy – far away. He's losing his resolve, I can tell. Hell, I am, too. His moaning is becoming more frantic now, and I have to keep from being reduced to just a puddle because of it. However, I have my own moment of weakness.
"E-Eddie…" I whimper out. I mentally slap myself. Keep it together, you idiot. This is about him, not you!
I think Eddie thinks the whimper is one of pain. He immediately pulls back, and I can see my blood on his lips and chin. It doesn't even really faze me. But, he can see the heavy-lidded look on my face, and he immediately looks scared.
"What is it? What's wrong? Are you okay?"
The words come tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them. Maybe it's the way he's looking at me. Maybe it's because I now have my hands entirely up his shirt. Maybe it's because I've easily felt this way for years. Or, maybe, it's because I know he loves me, too.
"I love you, Eddie."
He freezes again, and his jaw drops. I let out a small giggle; he looks so cute when he's surprised. Even if he has my blood on his face.
"You…what?" He looks utterly dumbfounded.
"I love you." I repeat. He's still staring at me like he's never seen another human before. I start to feel a bit embarrassed, and I start to take note of the pain on my neck, now. "Um, Eddie? You in there?" I wave a hand in front of his face.
This seems to snap him out of it, because he suddenly wraps his arms around my waist, and lifts me into the air, hugging me so tight I feel like my lungs will collapse.
I let out a small scream, and he's laughing, and then I'm laughing. He spins me around a few times before putting me back on the ground. I start laughing even harder because my blood is still on his face, but he's grinning like a maniac.
"Are you good?" I ask, between giggles.
"Henderson was right." Eddie sighs, still grinning like an idiot, looking down at me. He's so close I can now see just how much taller he is than me. I raise an eyebrow at him.
"Dustin?" I ask.
"He's been trying to play cupid for us all day; annoying little shit." Eddie can't help but chuckle, the same goofy grin still plastered on his face.
I laugh softly, looking away, and then back at him. There is so much more I want to say to him, but I realize we are running out of time, and I'm still bleeding.
"Look, let's talk about this later, okay? Also, I'm gonna kill Dustin." I add, and Eddie smirks at me. "Do you, uh, wanna continue?" I gesture vaguely to my neck, and Eddie's eyes widen again. Clearly, he had forgotten what we had just been engaged in moments before.
"Are you sure?" He asks softly.
I just shake my head at him. "Get over here, you dumb idiot." I gently pull his face back to my throat. "We'll have plenty of time to talk about our feelings after we kill Vecna. But, we can't do that if you're too weak to fight."
Eddie looks down at my throat again, and nods eagerly - a little too eagerly. Without a second thought, his teeth are on my throat again, and he's moaning loudly as the pleasure and the hunger begins to overwhelm him.
Eddie then suddenly pushes me back against a nearby tree, and I moan loudly. I find my hands unconsciously coming up to tangle themselves in his long, dark hair.
At this, Eddie's eyes roll back, my noises evidently driving him insane, and he begins to moan and whimper in equal measure, a look of ecstasy on his face. His hands move to my sides, squeezing tightly in an attempt to press my body closer against the tree trunk.
Eddie pulls back from my neck for a second to breathe, and wipes his mouth clean. We stare at each other for a brief moment, before I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him as hard as I can. I can taste my blood on his lips, but I don't care.
Eddie leans in and kisses me back with equal ferocity and intensity. All of the pain, the love, and the loneliness begin to flood me at the same time.
It all happens very quickly. Eddie is suddenly ripping my clothes off, and I'm doing the same to him. His mouth is everywhere and I'm moaning out his name as I wrap my legs around his waist, and he's pushing me back harder against the tree, lifting me up.
"Oh, God, Joce…" Eddie groans. "Joce, you're incredible. I can't believe this is happening. You're real." His voice sounds dreamy, like he's in a daze. I have never seen him like this. Whenever he'd talked about women he'd slept with before, he'd always sounded so confident, so casual. Now, he sounded like he was intoxicated, and I was the cause of it. I had to admit, I loved seeing him like this. All slack jawed and blissful.
"This is real." I say it more to myself than to him. "This is real." I pull him back down into another kiss, fisting his hair.
Eddie's tongue comes out and explores my mouth. My heart beats wildly as I feel his hands moving down to slowly hold me up between him and the tree. I whimper, and start to grind my hips into his as he holds me there. He's kissing me with the intensity and urgency of a dying man who's finding love for the first time.
"Eddie…" I gasp. "Eddie… I need you. Please. Please." My begging moan comes out as more of a whimper. I'm so wet. I've never wanted anyone so badly in my life.
It's him. It's always been him. Even when it wasn't, it was him. All those times we exchanged intimate details of our conquests with other people, it was him. I knew he could see the way my eyes glazed over when he went into detail about a woman he had just fucked, and I could tell when I saw the muscles in his jaw twitch whenever I mentioned a guy I went home with. We had always wanted one another, and it had taken us too many years, and too many near death experiences before we realized it.
And if he doesn't thrust himself inside me now, I am going to explode.
I hear his breath catch at my words. "Oh, fuck." He growls out, and his lips are on my throat again, but this time he's kissing me rather than biting me.
"Eddie…" I whine. I know he can feel how aroused I am. I know he can see how dilated my pupils are. I know he can see how badly I need him. His eyes go black, and he's completely gone. It only takes Eddie a few seconds, but he manages to hoist me up a little higher against the tree, and without so much as a warning, pulls me back down onto his rock hard cock.
I scream. A scream of pure, unadulterated pleasure. I'm clinging to him like he's the only stable thing in the world. He's slamming in and out of me as he holds me there.
"Oh, sweetheart, you feel so good." Eddie groans. I can hear his grunts and gasps in my ear, but I am so far gone in my own head I can't even begin to register what he's saying to me. All I can do is whimper.
"Eddie, oh my god, oh my god. Don't stop."
"I won't, princess. I promise." He whispers breathlessly into my ear. His body is starting to sag from the pleasure, and my arms are starting to grow weak. Then, again without warning, Eddie moves, still holding me against and inside of him, and lays me down on the forest floor, hovering over me.
I am so close I can feel it, and I am now practically begging him for it. His thrusting is becoming more erratic now, and I wonder if my eyes roll back any further if they'll get stuck there.
"Eddie… Eddie.. I'm gonna come." I gasp out. "Eddie… tell me to come." My legs wrap themselves around his hips.
Eddie's eyes snap open, and he pulls back to look at me, not slowing his pace. "Tell me you love me. Tell me you love me right now." His eyes are almost fully black, and there is a small, wicked grin crossing his lips.
"I-I love you," I choke out. I'm almost sobbing now, I'm so close. Eddie leans back, still inside me, and uses his thumb to rub my clit as he fucks me. I writhe and whimper like a fucking pathetic mess as he does. With each thrust of his hips into mine, his breathing is becoming more laboured.
"Come for me sweetheart." He gasps out, and I can hear the whining edge in his voice. "Let go. Let it all go for me, okay?" His tone is low, almost primal. When I start to unravel, he leans in close and whispers in my ear, "That's my good girl."
That does it. I'm done for.
I'm screaming his name into the darkened wood. I'm clawing at him and bucking my hips, and his eyes are rolling back into his skull as he lets out a deep loud groan, my name on his lips. He's coming inside of me, and I can feel every part of him start to shake. His mouth returns to my neck for a moment, and his tongue runs along my throat, licking up the last of the blood that is there.
I gasp, arching my back again, as the high slowly begins to wear off. I feel Eddie stutter against me. He's slowing down. After a moment, he collapses on top of me, gasping for breath. As I slowly begin to uncross my eyes, I focus in on his face. His hair is sticking to his forehead, and he's covered in sweat, and claw marks from my nails. I probably don't look much better.
Eddie stares down at me with heavy-lidded eyes. He looks like he's run a million miles in five minutes. Groaning, he pulls out of me, and lays beside me on the forest floor, chest heaving. After a moment, he rolls on his side, and pulls me against him.
"That was… Joce, holy shit." He can't seem to find the words, and I giggle stupidly. "Was that… for you?" He slurs out, and I snort, before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.
I take a moment to let my breathing settle. "That was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me."
Eddie lets out a snort of laughter. "You're just being nice."
"No, Eddie, really." I roll over to face him. "That was the best sex I have ever had."
"It was like less than five minutes," he bites back. "I swear, I can last longer normally. I don't know what happened."
"It was hot." I grin, and Eddie turns scarlet. "I'm flattered to know I can make Eddie Munson lose control like that in less than five minutes." I giggle, and Eddie rolls his eyes, but I can see the ghost of a smile on his lips.
"I'm glad I could make you feel that way, Joce." He gives me his signature crooked smile, and I roll my eyes, playfully smacking him.
"You've been making me feel that way for years you dumb idiot, you just didn't notice." I sit up on my elbows and kiss him. "It's about freaking time."
Eddie smiles and kisses me back gently, a far cry from how rough he was with me moments before. "Yeah. It is. I should've let myself feel that way a long time ago." He moves to kiss my forehead. What used to be such a familiar and common occurrence now sends lighting bolts through my core. "But I'm glad we're here now, finally." He says softly, his lips still against my skin.
I laugh, but my tone is slightly bitter now, "Sucks that we might die tonight, but it was worth it." I smile, albeit ruefully.
Eddie chuckles, his tone matching mine for a moment, before he says. "We might die at any moment for any reason. Why not get something out of it?" I snort, and he props himself up on his elbows, looking at me. "I love you, Joce." He whispers, "I'm not sure what I'd do without you."
"Well, let's hope we never have to find out, shall we?" I peck his lips, before I stand up, reaching for my clothes. "We should get back to the house. The others are probably wondering where the hell we went." I pull my clothes on, and Eddie does the same. He wraps an arm around me, pulling me against him, and kissing my forehead again as we walk back towards the house.
"I don't know about you," I say as we walk. "But I could go for a really hot shower right now." I look up at Eddie, almost shyly, hoping the hint is obvious.
Eddie's dark eyes sparkle as he grins down at me. "Sounds like a plan, Princess."
