A dated, red velvet box sat in Remus's right hand. Within it lay the dainty, glittery ring that had belonged to Mary Tonks, grandmother to Ted and great grandmother to Nymphadora. Remus hadn't a clue when or how to propose, but he'd been told to consider sometime in September, to give the Tonkses enough time to plan an engagement party.
It was all moving too quickly for his taste. Dumbledore and Tonks were thrilled with the progress, but Remus felt it was too fast, even for the charade that would be his impending nuptials. He'd known Tonks for less than a month and now he had a precious family heirloom in his hand.
When he heard a knock at his door, he set the velvet box inside the drawer of his bedside table. He'd spent too long ruminating over how he'd ask her, when giving it to her directly would suffice. She insisted on something semi-public, if only to make their relationship more believable.
"Remus?" Tonks's impatient voice asked. "You ready?"
"I'll be out in a minute."
Remus ran a hand through his freshly cut hair, another unnecessary development. It felt too short to him, and Tonks's wolf-whistle upon seeing his finished haircut made him believe it was a terrible, too-trendy style. When he came to work the next morning, he had his coworkers turning their heads at him (and more than one customer ask for help getting a book from a shelf). He'd noticed Tonks looking at him more than usual, likely admiring her mother's handiwork. It sent his stomach turning whenever someone's gaze lingered on him. He'd never been one to enjoy attention, and walking around with a hairstyle that made him look like a Muggle film star was just the thing he didn't need.
His fears were confirmed as soon as he set foot into Grimmauld Place's kitchen.
Loud whistles greeted him from the corners, where the Weasley twins grinned up at him. Order members turned their heads, doing double-takes as Remus walked past them all to find a seat. Even Sirius's deep scowl turned into a maniacal smirk upon seeing Remus.
"Looking sharp, Professor," said George, with a carefree grin. "I'd wager you're the most fashionable werewolf in Britain, don't you think, Freddie?"
Fred, to his left, made howling sounds. Remus burned with shame and embarrassment, and luckily Molly came by to whisk the twins away before the Advance Guard departed to rescue Harry.
Tonks was preoccupied with Emmeline and Hestia, so Remus found an empty seat, eager to make himself small and out of the way. His plans were dashed when Sirius joined him.
"You look stunning, Moony."
Remus made no comment, even when Sirius clapped him on the back. Hard.
"How are things with my baby cousin?" Sirius continued airily, swirling wine in his goblet. "I couldn't help but notice you two getting cozy at the last meeting, before you turned debonair."
Remus gritted his teeth. "We have a part to play," he replied. He stole a glance at Tonks, who winked back at him. The burning sensation was back in his neck and cheeks. Perhaps it was a new joy of becoming a middle-aged werewolf, having hot flashes as the next full moon approached.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were enjoying this."
"Tonks is a spirited roommate."
Sirius made a face. Neither he nor Remus could say anything else, as the meeting began, and Tonks found a seat next to them.
All thoughts of Remus's haircut and Tonks's vibrancy were put aside. Harry's safety was more important.
"He almost didn't recognize you!" Tonks said later, when they were back at their flat. It was a long, tiring night, flying from London to Surrey and back, enduring Sirius and Molly argue over Harry's welfare, and managing another round of Remus's former students remark on his improved appearance.
Remus pushed back the short fringe on his forehead. "Do you think he believed any of it?"
"What Sirius said, us, or—"
"All of it," he said, shrugging. "Any of it."
"I only met him a few hours ago." Tonks flopped onto the emerald green sofa with a pensive look on her face. "He respects Molly, but it's clear that Sirius is the closest thing he's got to a parent. He respects you too, but you're not Sirius."
Remus nodded. It was exactly as James would've wanted it: Sirius was Harry's godfather. Remus was only ever meant to be an uncle figure, at best.
"I reckon he was surprised to hear we were together," Tonks continued, her hands moving as she spoke. "He asked if I was like you, a werewolf."
Remus coughed in surprise. "Was he—"
"I dunno if he was surprised by that," Tonks replied. "I don't think he'd have cared." She turned on her side, yawning widely. "Speaking of which, it's three days away. What do I need to know?"
"Nothing," Remus said curtly. "I'll transform far away from here, far from anyone who could find me. I'll come to Grimmauld Place in one piece, if all goes as I expect, and I'll rest there until I'm well enough to come back here."
Tonks narrowed her eyes at him and sat up. "Why aren't you coming back here?"
"There's a very good chance I'll need help, and you've got to work."
"I can come in late—"
"—there's also a very good chance I'll be starkers," Remus said grimly, as pink stained Tonks's neck and cheeks.
"I wouldn't judge," she said quietly. "If you needed my help."
"I don't need your help with this," Remus replied, looking away from her. "I've managed for many years, alone." He laced his fingers together and stared at his lined skin, sighing heavily. "I'd prefer if you didn't…"
He stopped, wondering what to say. He didn't want her seeing him in anything less than his tattered pyjama bottoms and thin vests. He was mortified by that, given the way her eyes had flown open the few times she'd seen him in that state. He certainly didn't want her to see him without any clothes or bloodied and broken after a full moon.
"I'll be just fine, Tonks. There's no need to bother with me."
Humiliated by the reminder of his condition and uncomfortable with her pity, he turned her attention to Harry's excellent flying skills.
Remus lay in his old bed at Grimmauld Place, with his sides throbbing after the full moon. He recalled waking up to Sirius healing his broken bones and suspected a broken rib or two on each side. Hushed tones reached his ears. He lifted a heavy, likely swollen eyelid, and saw the tall outline of Sirius standing in the doorway and a mop of pink hair standing across from him.
"He's asleep, but you can come in," Remus heard Sirius say quietly. "Don't trip over yourself."
Remus tried to moan his disagreement. Tonks wasn't supposed to see him like this. The footsteps came around to his bed anyway, and unable to say or see much, he pretended to sleep.
"Blimey, is this normal?" Tonks whispered.
"Broken bones, gashes, bruises, all typical," Sirius replied. "He threw himself into the wall face-first, and that's how he gave himself that nasty black eye."
"I can't believe he's been doing this since he was a little boy."
Remus was slightly surprised to hear the tenderness in her voice, as if she truly cared.
"A wall, though? He said he'd be going far away."
"He was in the cellar, here. Moony doesn't want anyone to know where he is."
"If I had known he was here—"
"—he wouldn't want you here."
"I'm going to be his wife."
Remus had his eyes closed, but he could picture the scene before him. Sirius's tone indicated his impatience and Tonks's raised voice indicated she was scarcely less comfortable.
"You will be his wife in name only," said Sirius. "Don't get his hopes up."
Remus wanted to cry out from his bed. What was Sirius thinking?
"His…hopes?" Tonks asked softly. "Is he…"
"He doesn't have feelings for you, if that's what you're asking." A small sigh of relief escaped from her lips. Sirius added, "He's been alone for most of his life. He can't rely on you now, not if he's going to lose you in a few years."
"Then why are you helping?" Tonks challenged. "It's not like you were there for him, all those years—"
"—I'm thoroughly aware of that, thank you," Sirius replied coldly. "I'm likelier to stay around than you are. My name will be cleared one day. You won't always be his wife."
"I'll be his friend."
"A friend who will marry again and won't have time for him. It's just me and Harry, and he's at school most of the time. He's growing up. You've got a life ahead of you after Remus. He—"
"—doesn't," Tonks finished. She cleared her throat and sniffled. "You should probably help him now, then. He looks like he's in pain."
"If he wakes up, he won't want you here," Sirius said dismissively. "I shouldn't have let you in."
Tonks huffed indignantly and stomped away, half-slamming the door behind her. A brief moment of silence followed her departure.
"How much of that did you hear, Moony?"
There was something thick and heavy at the back of Remus's throat, but he found the raspy, weak words on the tip of his tongue and opened one of his swollen eyelids. His vision was blurred by something cloudy and wet.
"All of it."
"And?"
"Thank you."
Sirius grunted and returned to healing Remus's wounds.
The days after the full moon were hectic. Remus hadn't had a chance to speak with Tonks, as she was heavily involved with Sonia's pre-wedding celebrations. He heard her come back from the latest ceremony the night before and saw her leave that morning with intricate ink patterns on her hands and arms. He would meet her later, for the part of the celebration he and most others were invited to.
Around noon on the day of the wedding, he dressed himself carefully, impressed by the fine new robes Andromeda made for him. He took a few moments to comb his short hair, which was growing on him, as he'd seen a marked increase in the number of female customers asking for his help in retrieving books from higher bookshelves.
The new haircut, he begrudgingly admitted, had some benefits, even if he couldn't take advantage of them. Satisfied with his handiwork, he looked in the full-length mirror Tonks hung in the bathroom to see the whole ensemble put together.
Remus couldn't believe what he saw in his reflection. His new dress robes, made of soft wool, hung perfectly on his frame. They were a pale green—sage green, Andromeda called it—and the clasps were gold. His hair was carefully combed and neatly parted to one side, which let loose strands of sandy brown and silver fringe fall gracefully across his forehead. He looked healthier, too, with clearer eyes, fuller cheeks, and brighter skin. Weeks of regular, substantial meals and steady rest had worked wonders. He hadn't looked this well after a transformation since his adolescence.
He didn't dare say it aloud, for fear of sounding ridiculous, but he looked good. An annoying chirp interrupted his activity. His watch, on loan from Sirius, was trilling at him. It was time to go.
With his heart in his throat, he took the ornate invitation from the kitchen table and hurried down to the closest, most discrete alleyway. The invitation served as a Portkey, and it would take him directly to the wedding.
Remus landed at the edge of a vast country estate. Tonks mentioned the wedding would be enormous, and she hadn't been joking, as the sea of colorful wedding guests extended as far as the eye could see. Attendants were already upon him, wands out to determine that his invitation was authentic, and one of them led him to the place he'd sit for the ceremony.
He was surrounded by young, healthy, attractive people, as far as the eye could see. They all knew each other from school, likely Tonks's classmates and friends, and Remus felt very old among them. He didn't have to wait long for everyone to quiet down, as the ceremony began quickly, taking all their attention away from their youthful, untroubled lives and conversations.
Remus was fascinated by the ceremony's ornateness. James's mother, Euphemia, was Indian, and when James and Lily married, they incorporated some of the family traditions into their celebration. It was nowhere as elaborate or detailed as the wedding of Sonia and Jinu, however, which captivated Remus's interest.
When it came to an end, Remus didn't know where to go, until a tattooed hand found his wrist. It was Tonks, coming to get him, and she led him to their assigned table. She briefly introduced him to the other bridesmaids' wedding dates, and sped off to Sonia for pictures.
Remus, knowing no one else, felt he had to join them and sat down with his glass, which contained a delicious, creamy mango cocktail. He was glad for the drink, nursing it silently while the others caught up with each other.
His thoughts drifted to the past. He recalled the Potters' wedding as if it was yesterday. It wasn't as big or grand as this one—though it could've been, given the Potters' wealth—but it was one of the happiest memories of Remus's younger days.
Tonks returned with the other bridesmaids when food appeared. With the witches returned to the table, the conversation flowed more easily, though Remus still had little to say. What could he say, when the couples gushed about their relationships, future marriages, upcoming children, and early career successes? Remus had nothing to add. He was older, nowhere near as attractive, and the more he heard, the less he became convinced their ruse of a relationship could last.
When compared to the other men and women in Tonks's life, Remus was nothing.
The end of the meal came torturously slowly. The bridesmaids took to the dance floor with the bride and her groom, leaving Remus alone again, surrounded by young people he couldn't relate to.
"How'd you do it, mate?" asked one bloke, who reintroduced himself as Drew. He looked past Remus, his glassy eyes staring far away.
Remus frowned, setting his drink down. "Do what?"
"Get her." Drew nodded past Remus. He turned around, seeing Tonks laughing as she spun around in circles with one of her friends.
"We hit it off and I asked her to dinner," Remus replied tonelessly, taking another swig of his drink, which felt even better after some of the spiciness of the dishes served.
"That's all it took?"
Remus nodded.
"Lucky bastard," said another, called Michael, shaking his head. The others around the table looked at Remus incredulously.
"We all thought she'd given up on blokes," another called Roger explained, seeing Remus's bewildered expression.
"Tell us," Drew slurred, shaking his drink around, "is it true that she can change anything?" The other wizards leaned in to hear, as the festive music got louder.
"I believe so," replied Remus, feeling awkward at the unexpected interest in his relationship. "Her hair changes most frequently."
"But she can change anything?" pressed Michael. "Even—" He gestured toward his chest, making round shapes with his hands that suggested he was imagining lewd, inappropriate possibilities regarding Tonks.
"She makes 'em as big as you want, don't she?" A fellow with small, beady eyes, called Maurice, had the audacity to wink.
Disgusted, Remus said, "I don't know, and it doesn't matter. I would never ask her to do such a thing."
"But she can," Drew pressed on. "That's the dream, innit, lads?"
Remus could hardly believe his ears. These men were ogling at Tonks. Even if Remus wasn't her fake boyfriend, he'd be offended on her behalf.
"What about a threeway?" blurted Roger. "She lets you do that?"
"No, and I don't see how this is any of your business."
Remus's rage was growing. If these men were Tonks's only options, it was evident why she'd preferred women. Remus was afraid of being perceived as a lecherous old man, coveting the much younger Tonks, but it wasn't his lust on display.
"Remus!"
Tonks came to his rescue. She took the drink out of his hand and set it on the table, beaming at him.
"Yes?"
"Come dance!"
"I don't—" Remus glanced back at the men sitting around him, watching in awe as Tonks tugged on his collar. Seeing one of them lick his lips hungrily at her, Remus resolved to make it known that she wasn't available.
It was a fake relationship, barreling towards a fake marriage, but the least he could do was shield her from the lusty eyes of her former classmates. He joined her on the dance floor, immediately regretting his decision when her body was pressed up against his.
He shouldn't be this close to her.
"Looking fine tonight, Lupin," she said, grinning up at him.
"You look beautiful," he replied, with his head bent down and his lips close to her ear. The room was much too hot. He'd had too much to drink, too much spice remaining on his tongue.
With her right hand interlaced with his and her left on his waist, with his hand grazing the small of her back, he could almost envision they were like any other couple.
"If we weren't, y'know—" Tonks hummed the traditional wedding tune under her breath. "—you could get someone here tonight, I'm sure of it."
Tonks snapped him out of his temporary madness.
"I'm sorry you don't have the same option," he replied stiffly.
"Don't be. If I were actually single, I'd have to fend those idiots off." Tonks pointed her nose at the table where they'd sat for dinner. "I'm reminding them later that I'm coming home to you."
Remus gripped her tighter without meaning to. He supposed it was from the earlier conversation; he felt the need to protect her from the others, ensure no one looked at her with anything but respect.
The song ended and Tonks was pulled into another conversation. Remus didn't want to go back to the table where the other men were, so he spent the night by Tonks's side, making it clear to anyone who saw them that she was his.
Remus had taken a cold shower every morning for the past week. Since the night of the wedding, he'd woken up painfully hard. It wasn't unusual to wake up like this, but the stiffness typically went away quickly.
He supposed it had to do with the dreams that had plagued him all week, of Tonks's body pressed against his while he kissed the soft skin of her neck, going further and further down until—
He groaned loudly before stepping into the frigid water that morning. He throbbed against his will, picturing capturing Tonks's pink, pouty lips with his own, and as soon as the blast of freezing water hit his body, he winced, letting that image drift away from his mind.
He blamed the young men at the wedding for the unwanted arrival of his lewd, unconscious dreams. Their inappropriate talk had lodged into his memory, at poor Tonks's expense, and he would stop at nothing to get rid of the unwelcome, revolting images that kept arising in his mind. Tonks deserved better.
