'I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.'
Tonks set the book face down over her chest and sighed.
"Isn't that so romantic?"
Remus shrugged. He'd agreed to let Tonks read Pride and Prejudice aloud, finding it gave her something to do that didn't involve scantily clad exercise routines or pressing him with questions he didn't want to answer. It also cost nothing; he got old, battered copies of books for free from his workplace, and he'd taken all of Austen's works with him to bring to Tonks, who'd been more grateful than he expected. She put the book under her nose and read the next lines.
'My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners—my behavior to you was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. Now, be sincere; did you admire me for my impertinence?'
Something lively and endearing sparkled in her dark eyes; she batted them playfully at him and grinned. The middle of Remus's chest radiated warmth and he tried to hide the smile that threatened to make its appearance. He stuffed a scone into his mouth to prevent any stupidity, but only succeeded in halfway choking as Tonks's leg brushed against his.
"More tea, dears?" Madam Puddifoot came to their table and waved her wand. A fresh pot of tea floated from the kitchen and landed between them. "It's so good to have you here again, so soon after you chose your wedding cake, but I must warn you the children will start coming in soon." The matronly witch beamed and snapped her fingers. Tiny tarts replenished themselves and she bustled away to attend to her other clients, a group of elderly witches reading tea leaves and gossiping loudly.
Remus checked his watch; it would be only a half hour till Hogwarts students descended upon Hogsmeade. Lovesick adolescents would make their way to Madam Puddifoot's, and while he was resigned to being seen with Tonks by his former students, he didn't want it to be at the sickeningly frilly tea shop.
"This is the best part," Tonks complained, pointing to the book, "but I don't feel like hearing teenagers confess their love to each other while I read. Maybe we can go to Gladrags?"
"We ought to split up after that," Remus said, equal parts eager and loath to part with her. "We'll get some of the students to see us, and then you can morph and we can see where Harry is."
Tonks agreed with him and they finished up at Madam Puddifoot's, just as a pair of older Ravenclaws arrived to take their places. Remus greeted his former students briefly, whose astonishment at seeing a witch on his arm was obvious. His ears burned, knowing how it must look to have such a huge age gap, but he plodded along next to Tonks, letting her lead him to the robe shop.
"You could use a new set or two," she told him, seeing his apparent hesitation. "You've got the one set that you used for Sonia's wedding and for the engagement thing next week…mum's making you another set for the wedding, but it can't hurt to have another couple sets for these weekend visits?"
"I can't aff—" he began, wincing. He had to save every coin for the international Portkey he'd take before the wedding. He didn't need extra robes; his patched, shabby ones weren't great, but he only needed them for Order missions. He had no one to impress.
"I'll pay for them," Tonks offered, tugging on his hand.
Remus wouldn't budge. He didn't want her spending any more money on him. She paid for the roof over his head, her parents were paying for a wedding that wouldn't happen, and he repaid her with groceries and cooking. It was the least he could do.
"Why do you insist on being so fucking difficult?" she muttered, letting go of him. She stormed off to Honeydukes, and a grumbling Remus followed her.
The shop wasn't brimming with students yet, and he couldn't find pink anywhere. Irritated that she'd morphed to hide from him, he scanned the faces of those nearby. It took less than a minute for him to spot her. She stood by a display of seasonal fudges. She'd morphed to a nondescript, lackluster blonde, a rounder nose, thinner lips, and had taken her light freckles away. Her eyes were unmistakable: though no longer their usual dark shade, or as round and expressive, they twinkled in a way that was uniquely hers. They called to him, and he forged a silent path around the colorful displays to meet her.
"I don't need or want new robes," he said quietly, seeing her jump back at his unannounced presence, "but I'll get us fudge. Which one do you want?"
Her blonde eyebrows came together and she sighed, picking up a peanut butter and chocolate chunk fudge bar.
"How did you know it was me?"
"Your eyes."
He took the package and added a dark chocolate fudge for himself. It would cost three Galleons, but it was a fraction of what new or secondhand robes would cost. She joined him at the till, where he dutifully handed over the coins, and when the treats were safely wrapped in Honeydukes packaging, he let Tonks lead the way out. As students were coming in, he met their eyes, nodding briefly in greeting, and ambled away towards the edge of the village.
A lonely bench became their new setting.
"I made them blue."
"I know."
"But how?" Tonks was slicing off a piece of her fudge. She offered him a bit and he took it, pleasantly surprised by the flavor combination.
Remus paused, wondering what to tell her. He didn't want to say he'd stared at her eyes, imagined them close to his, and unwillingly ached for them to light up in response to him.
"They—" He glanced at her cornflower-blue eyes, not as round as he'd come to know them, but still sparkling with the playfulness that was uniquely hers. He cleared his throat. "—they have a quality, I suppose. The light hits them in this way—" He tried to gesture light with his hands, but it came to nothing. "Must have been a lucky guess," he concluded, taking another slice of fudge from her.
She was quiet as she chewed her fudge.
"I thought you could smell me."
"Smell you?"
"Don't werewolves have a better sense of smell?"
"Not much better, no," Remus replied, frowning. "Maybe if we were alone. Honeydukes wouldn't be the best place for that, anyway. Too many other scents."
Tonks sat up suddenly and pointed ahead. Remus saw Harry's messy hair in the distance. He was walking in their direction, too absorbed in his conversation with Hermione and Ron to notice anything else.
"Looks like they're going to The Hog's Head."
Remus grimaced; they were obviously planning something. He could almost see their reasoning: they'd fear being overheard at The Three Broomsticks, so they'd go to The Hog's Head. Little did they know that Mundungus was already there, and by the way Tonks hastily repackaged the fudge, she intended to join him.
"C'mon," she said, tugging his sleeve. "You can lurk somewhere and I'll stay morphed. Maybe after the kids leave we can catch up with them."
They snuck in through a side door, and after Tonks settled in with her hood drawn, Remus did the same and found a spot in the shadows. Dung was dressed up like a rather ugly hag, though he too was recognizable to Remus. Harry and his friends arrived shortly, and Remus watched with interest as a ragtag group of former students gathered inside the old pub.
He had to repress a disbelieving laugh when they began speaking of a resistance group. What were they thinking, planning this in broad daylight? They were exceedingly lucky The Hog's Head was relatively empty and the only ones paying attention to them were known to the Order.
Though noble, it was a spectacularly stupid idea to form a motley fellowship of magic under Umbridge's nose. It was precisely the kind of behavior that would make their lives harder when they were found out. Remus met Tonks's eyes from across the pub. She was smirking into her glass and shaking her head.
They let Harry and Hermione run the show, and when a list of students finished pledging their support for the newly-founded Dumbledore's Army, Remus decided it was time to act. He tilted his head toward the door, just as Harry, Ron, and Hermione got to it. Tonks understood his meaning perfectly and did something to the doorknob to make Ron hiss in pain.
"Sorry about that," she said, coming out of the shadows. Harry drew his wand, and Tonks scrunched her eyes, returning to her usual pink-haired, dark-eyed self.
"Tonks?"
"I'm here too," said Remus. He craned his neck and found Mundungus squirming in his booth. "You can go, Dung. I'm sure you're needed elsewhere."
Harry, Ron, and Hermione gaped as Mundungus got out of his seat, shook off the heavy shawl he was wearing, and chugged the last of his brandy. Greeting them all roughly, he trudged out the side door where Remus and Tonks had entered from.
"You heard us?" Hermione said, her nose and cheeks growing pink.
"Every last bit of it," Tonks confirmed. "Not the greatest idea to be here—if you didn't want to be heard, The Three Broomsticks would've been better."
Remus knew the barkeep was Dumbledore's brother, and while Tonks found new seats for the three young Gryffindors, he let Aberforth know to give them space. The cantankerous, younger Dumbledore grunted a reply and shut the pub's doors to other patrons.
"So you're saying we shouldn't do anything at all?" Hermione's incensed voice reached Remus's ears. He sighed, got a strong drink, and joined the trio and Tonks.
"Are you going to tell Dumbledore?" asked Harry. He seemed curiously eager to have the Headmaster's involvement in the project. "Or Sirius?" he said, when Remus sat down to join them. "Will they help us?"
"They'll find out," replied Remus. "As will Umbridge."
"But they can't—" Hermione held up a piece of parchment with names on it. It was clearly enchanted, and knowing the girl's cleverness, Remus expected a charm to prevent snitches.
"A group of students walks into The Hog's Head, stays for a while, and then leaves together," Tonks said archly. "After three particularly well-known students do the same. You think you're not being watched?"
Harry, Ron, and Hermione deflated considerably.
"We can't tell you what to do," Remus told them carefully, "nor can we prevent you from going through with your plans. You must know you've got to be cautious, and be willing to suffer the consequences when they come your way—and I mean when, not if. Umbridge isn't going to take this lightly. Not that I disagree with what you said, Harry, nor do I think Sirius would disagree." At this, Harry sat up straighter and looked almost hopeful.
"You're always going to have eyes and ears following you," Tonks added, with a thin smile. "That goes for friends and foes. You've got to be on your toes."
Harry and Ron exchanged dark glances, while Hermione looked thoughtful.
Remus peered down at his watch. "We shouldn't stay much longer. Harry, if you've got the Cloak, I recommend using it and taking the side door with me. I'll get you to The Three Broomsticks. Tonks—"
"Already ahead of you." She morphed her features to look like someone vaguely familiar and said, looking at Ron and Hermione, "Call me Tallulah. She was one of the Hufflepuff prefects in my year and had a huge crush on Charlie. I'll pretend to be asking after him and we'll meet with Harry and Remus in a few minutes."
"Excellent. We'll take the long way around, Harry," Remus interjected, seeing that he didn't have the Invisibility Cloak with him. "We can talk about—"
"—girls," Tonks said, winking at them. "Your soon-to-be-married ex-professor can give you advice on how to win a witch's heart."
Remus's face burned and he put an awkward smile on his face before leaving through the side door with Harry. When they were outside and taking a shadier stroll through Hogsmeade, Remus spoke.
"I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give regarding . . . witches. My, er, dog however was a favorite in his younger days."
Harry's eyes widened in comprehension.
"You'll have to forgive me for not being more of a help in that area," Remus continued. "Your dad—" At this, Harry slowed down, his brilliant green eyes shining hungrily, desperately. "It took a while for James to date Lily. He had a good heart—just a troublemaker at times, and he needed to grow up. He had a few flings before your mum, but it was always her that he wanted."
They were close to The Three Broomsticks and Harry seemed reluctant to leave.
"It was good to see you, Harry," said Remus, gesturing toward the door. "If you need a book recommendation for your O.W.L.s, you can send me an owl." Seeing Harry's hesitancy, Remus added, in a low voice, "Be careful. I can't talk much longer."
With a disappointed sigh, Harry went into the pub. From the other side of the street, Remus saw Tonks, Ron, and Hermione, with Ron looking bored. Remus still had the fudge in his pockets, and when he found an empty bench, he took a seat to wait for the others.
Tonks and Hermione were discussing subtly-veiled wedding plans, with Tonks pretending it was her "friend's" nuptials. Hermione claimed she'd never seen or heard of a wizarding wedding ceremony, and Tonks gave her shoulder a small squeeze, promising her that she'd likely have the chance to see one in the near future.
Ron and Hermione were ushered into the pub and Tonks followed them, only to come out a moment later looking like herself.
"If those two don't end up married you owe me fifty Galleons."
"Ron and Hermione?"
"Bicker, bicker, bicker," she said, shaking her head and folding her hands together, as if two birds were squawking at each other. She took some of the fudge from Remus's hands and shoved it between her lips. "Honestly, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife."
Remus made a face. He had no interest in hearing about his former students' love lives, much less about anything that didn't involve mere handholding.
"Harry said you talked about his parents."
"We did, a little."
"Was it love at first sight?"
An incredulous snort escaped from Remus's nostrils. "Definitely not for Lily. James, maybe, but it was in our fourth or fifth year when he got insufferable over her."
Tonks yawned and rested her head on his shoulder. Remus felt acutely aware that many of his former students could see them, but none had made any comment. He received tentative smiles, courteous nods, and from the kindest students, little waves as they went from one store to the next.
"Tell me more about them, Remus," Tonks said sleepily.
"Why don't we go home?"
"Your shoulder's comfy."
"I doubt that very much." Remus shifted and helped prop Tonks up. "Let's go home. We've made plenty of appearances today, got fudge, and saw some of the students."
"Fine," Tonks sighed. "Will you finish reading Pride and Prejudice to me?"
"You want me to read it?"
"Only the last part."
"If that's what you want," Remus said, missing the feel of her head on his shoulder. He got Tonks to her feet, and with another contagious yawn, they spun on their heels and landed in their Newcastle flat.
Dawn had barely broken when Remus's watch lit up. His eyelids were drooping, but Tonks, seated on the cold tiles to his left, seemed wide awake.
"It's time to go," she whispered, nudging him off her. His neck spasmed at the sudden change in position. He hadn't realized he'd been nodding off, nor had he been fully aware that he'd rested his head on hers. Bleary-eyed and embarrassed, he gingerly got to his feet, careful to keep Moody's Invisibility Cloak around him.
"Was there any activity?"
Tonks shook her head. She gripped his hands to help him off the floor. With the full moon the other night, he felt worse for wear and even more ashamed he needed help. Tonks said nothing, letting him lean on her as they shuffled quietly out of the Department of Mysteries.
"Can you stay for a minute in the Atrium?" she asked, as the lift began to move. "I've got to get something from my office."
Remus sat by the fountain in the center of the Atrium. A copy of last night's Evening Prophet was left nearby, and the headline caught his eye. A new educational decree at Hogwarts had been passed, allowing the High Inquisitor to remove all privileges from students for poor behavior. He sighed. It took less than two days for Umbridge to discover—or suspect—illicit student activity, and a few more weeks to decide she could take away disciplining rights from Heads of Houses. It meant Minerva wouldn't be the final word on Gryffindors' punishments, and Remus feared what would come next.
The night after the Hogsmeade visit, the Order had a meeting, and they discussed their concerns for the well-meaning, defiant students. Dumbledore was tickled pink that they'd chosen to name the organization after him, Molly was irate that her children were getting involved with the rebellion, Sirius beamed proudly that his godson led the charge, and McGonagall worried that it would get worse at Hogwarts with her inability to prevent any but the worst penalties for her wayward students.
Only the Tonkses offered any sound advice; they suggested Remus and Sirius send Harry and his friends textbooks to help their studies, cautioned the adults not to press one way or the other, and assured them that most witches and wizards they encountered were concerned over Umbridge's increased power. With Andromeda hearing gossip from the high-end robe shop and Ted at St. Mungo's, they were able to give a somewhat impartial account of the greater world around them; most quietly disapproved of Umbridge and believed the slander against Harry and Dumbledore in the Prophet, but without further proof, no one was convinced that either was fully correct. The wizarding world was at an impasse, stuck between two unpleasant realities: either the return of Voldemort was true, and they were all in danger, or the government was keeping something from them (and if the Ministry was hiding something as important as this, there were rumors that it was even worse than previously feared).
Tonks came out of the lift with a scowl. Remus raised his brow at her and she quickly dropped her displeasure.
"I'm glad it's my day off," she said. "There's a pile of paperwork waiting for me tomorrow."
Remus thought there was more to it, but decided not to press the matter. He was tired and she was, too, and he didn't want to make a scene with early Ministry workers arriving for their shifts.
Tonks led them through the Floo and suggested they go to her favorite coffee shop. Remus recoiled at spending money on overpriced coffees and pastries, but as he'd learned that spending a little here and there made him less suspicious (he still had every intention of leaving her a day or two before the wedding), he agreed, but asked if they could take their things to-go, as he was in desperate need of Pain Relief Potion.
"Did you see the Prophet?" he asked when they were in their living room. Tonks was kind enough to bring him the potions and one of his healing salves, which he started applying to his sore neck.
"Not the Evening edition, but I saw the headline," Tonks replied, watching him. "Do you need help? I can do that for you."
"I'd rather if you didn't."
A disappointed sigh followed his response. Tonks clasped her hands together and muttered, "Suit yourself."
Declining to comment on that, he returned to the new educational decree and what it meant for the students.
"Heads of Houses can have their discipline overturned and worsened?" Tonks said, disbelief on her face. "Damn . . . do you ever think that the kids could just . . . leave? Who's stopping any of them from leaving Hogwarts and being homeschooled or transferring to . . . Beauxbatons?"
"A language barrier for most of them," Remus replied. "And a lack of ability for their parents to teach them. My dad was prepared to do it for me, but I wouldn't have been able to take O.W.L.s or N.E.W.T.s without Hogwarts. Homeschooled students have got to come to the castle for the exams. It hasn't been seen in decades, if not more. If Umbridge and the Ministry are involved . . . I doubt they'd let homeschooled students take the exams." He winced as he twisted to get one of his shoulders with the salve. Tonks stood up and snatched the jar from him.
"Take off your shirt," she demanded. "You're going to hurt yourself. I've seen you shirtless a million times and I don't care. Now would you suck up your pride and let me help you?" Remus gripped the sides of his armchair tightly, and as Tonks was directly in front of him, blocking him from getting up, he felt he had no choice but to undress. He reluctantly unbuttoned his shirt, but refused to remove his vest.
"It's better than nothing," said Tonks, dipping her hand into the jar of salve. She used more than he would've, but when she tapped his shoulder, moving him forward, he sat on the edge of the seat so her small, warm hands could rub his aching shoulder muscles. He couldn't stop the contented, near-purr his lungs made when she touched him.
With a sigh, she said, "They've got to stay, then. Do you think we could help them for their Christmas and Easter holidays? I could ask for extra days off and help with some of their Defense stuff."
Remus stifled all the pleasant sounds he'd make if he wasn't in her company. Her touch felt wonderful, and he had to focus very hard on their owl's messy cage to prevent his body from betraying his desires. It didn't help that Tonks, without meaning to, had further endeared herself to him by offering to help the students.
"That's," he managed to say evenly, "not a bad idea. Sirius could empty the library. It's big enough for a few of them. Kingsley—"
"—that's what I was about to suggest!" Tonks grinned and turned her attention to his neck. Remus knew he was burning up, and he closed his eyes as her fingertips soothed the back of his neck. Her chest hovered inches from his mouth and he felt the gentle breath from her nose tickling his forehead. "Do you think we should write to Harry and try to convince him to wait for the holidays to practice spell work at Headquarters? If we sent them books, they could study theory till then?"
Remus opened his eyes briefly when he felt Tonks's hands holding his face. He could count the freckles dusting her nose and cheeks, see the individual inconsistencies in her stormy grey eyes, which seemed to have a bit of green and blue in them, and smelled the remnants of her cinnamon cake on her breath.
It was then that a very flustered, impatient Daisy tapped her claws against their window, breaking the tension between them.
Tonks opened the window and the owl offered her leg to Remus to take the letter. Scanning it quickly, he groaned and gave it to Tonks.
"Banned from Quidditch? Harry and the twins? That's—"
"—unsurprising," Remus finished for her. "But to confiscate their broomsticks, that's appalling."
"At least Hagrid's back."
Hagrid's return could only bear worse tidings; Harry expected Care of Magical Creatures to get an inspection, and with Umbridge's vendetta against giants, it wouldn't go well. Remus rubbed his eyes and was about to write a response, but Tonks forced him to rest, and he reluctantly surrendered to her request, selfishly wishing the owl hadn't interrupted them.
